Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

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[instrumental music]

[upbeat music]

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[roaring]

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[Louis Armstrong singing "High Society Calypso"]

♪ Just dig that scenery floating by ♪

♪ We're now approaching Newport Rhode I ♪

♪ We've been for years in Variety ♪

♪ But Cholly Knickerbocker now we're going to be ♪

♪ In High High so ♪

♪ High Soci ♪

♪ High Society ♪

♪ I wanna play for my former pal ♪

♪ He runs the local jazz festival ♪

♪ His name is Dexter ♪

♪ And he's good news ♪

♪ But sumping kind of tells me ♪

♪ That boy's nursin' the blues ♪

♪ In High High So ♪

♪ High Soci ♪

♪ High Society ♪

♪ High Society ♪

♪ In High High So ♪

♪ High Soci ♪

♪ High Society ♪

♪ He's got the blues 'cause his former wife ♪

♪ Begins tomorrow a brand-new life ♪

♪ She started lately a new affair ♪

♪ And now the silly chick is gonna marry a square ♪

♪ In High High So ♪

♪ High Soci ♪

♪ High Society ♪

♪ Square do tell well ♪

♪ In High High So ♪

♪ High Soci ♪

♪ High Society ♪

♪ But Brother Dexter just trust your Satch ♪

♪ I'll stop that wedding and kill that match ♪

♪ I'll toot my trumpet to start the fun ♪

♪ And play in such away ♪

♪ That she'll come back to you son ♪

♪ In High High So ♪

♪ High Soci ♪

♪ In High.. ♪

♪ Ba diz bop diz bo diz ♪

♪ Ba do do ba diz ♪

♪ Soci.. ♪

♪ Ba da da lop ba ba do yaz ♪

♪ Ety ♪

♪ Can you dig old Satchmo ♪

♪ Swingin' in the beautiful High Society ♪♪

End of song. Beginning of story.

[instrumental music]

Man, dig that crazy rehearsal hall.

What a powerful pile of rock.

Man, I can't go in there.

Why can't you go in there?

I ain't got my library card.

[chuckles]

Dig you.

Are you the, uh, musicians?

That's what the man said.

What name shall i say?

Tell Dex, old Satchel Mouth.

Well, please follow me, Mr. Satchel Mouth.

Yes, sir. Uh, wipe your feet, boys.

Something tells me we got along walk ahead of us.

[whistling]

Hey, Pops! How's the chops?

Good to see you, boy!

Hi, fellas. How's everything?

Man, you've been all over Europe

since i seen you last.

Did you go to Sweden?

- Yes, I did. - Skoal.

I was the skoalin'est cat you ever seen.

Well, here it is, fellas.

Just lay it out here anywhere

and we'll get goin'.

I sure never thought

you'd live in a big house like this, Dex.

Shows you what can happen

when you have a robber baron for a grandfather.

Man, you can play football in this room.

I know, but can you rehearse?

That chandelier tied tight up there?

Well, if it gets to swingin', put a mute in your horn.

Pardon me, sir. The ladies are waiting in the library.

Well, thank you. Vamp a little, will ya, fellas?

- Okay, Dex. - Alright.

Ladies.

- Oh, Dexter. - Hello, Ruth.

We just can't thank you enough

for letting the musicians rehearse here.

- Tickled to death. - You've saved the festival.

Well, now as long as i can save you.

- Hello, Helen. Yes. - Save us?

Don't you know that you might lose

your billing in the blue book?

Jazz is considered very unchic.

[laughs]

I'm sure we'll love it.

Let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

You bet i will.

Thanks a lot for coming by, huh?

Thank you, Dexter.

- We'll keep in touch. - Bye!

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Hello, Dexter?

This is Caroline.

Hello, beautiful.

Any time now.

Where's Tracy? I've been yelling my head off.

You don't yell, Caroline dear.

You call a person.

You yell if you're in pain.

Well, this wedding gives me a pain.

I think Tracy was awful mean to divorce Dexter.

Can i have this?

Mm-hmm. Oh, and take those presents

over to the other table.

Okay.

Mother, Tracy's sort of hard, isn't she?

Well, not hard. None of my children are that, I hope.

And the goblets, too.

Tracy's just exceptionally strong-minded

and very wonderful always.

[cutlery clinking]

Oh, I wish something would happen around here.

Nothing definitely ever happens here.

Out of the way, or else you get stepped on.

So far i've received 24 nut dishes

and 16 silver ice picks.

That should give you a rough idea

of what people think of your next husband.

Mother, don't you think Caroline's old enough

to be sent to a good military school?

What's this?

I haven't the faintest idea.

It stinks.

Oh, don't say "stinks," darling.

If absolutely necessary, "smells"

but only if absolutely necessary.

Caroline Lord, if you put this picture

in my wedding presents once more

I'm going to personally chain you to your bed!

Why, what is it, dear?

Oh.

'He was handsome.

Don't talk of him as if he were dead.

Well, he is dead to me.

And if that picture turns up once more

it's going right in the ash can.

Well, look at this.

Wow! Jewels!

From father.

(Mrs. Seth) 'Oh, isn't it pretty?'

Something his girlfriend probably turned down.

Tracy, that's not fair to your father.

Oh, mother, how can you defend him?

A common chorus girl.

She's not a chorus girl.

I'm told she's quite a talented ballet dancer.

(Tracy) 'Oh, really!

Don't you think it's stinking of Tracy

not to invite father to the wedding?

Yes, Caroline, just between us

I think it's good and stinking.

Me, too.

Oh, darling, why don't you face facts squarely as i did?

We might both of us face the fact

that neither of us has proved to be

a very great success as a wife.

We both took the only stand a woman could take

and keep her self-respect.

- Yes, dear. - Mm, the Hammonds.

Now i have my self-respect and no husband.

Oh, we're both better off, believe me.

Yes, dear.

- And we're both happier. - Yes, dear.

Oh, isn't George an angel?

Yes, George is an angel.

Now, is he handsome or is he not?

Oh, George is handsome.

(Tracy) Golly Moses, I'm a lucky girl.

[upbeat music in distance]

Tracy, that's your song!

Dexter must be home!

Mother, has Dexter come back?

Well, we knew Dexter was giving his house over

to this festival.

I, I suppose he might have come back.

He's back. No one but Dexter

would play that song

that wretched, cheap, vulgar song!

That beautiful, wonderful song

he wrote especially for her?

That's gratitude.

[music continues]

[music stops]

He's gonna get nowhere with that kind of music.

Good for the feet, nothin' for the heart.

Hello, Sam.

I would like to talk to you privately.

Well, now, I consider that right neighborly.

You lost a little weight, have you, Sam?

Oh, no. You're slipping.

That used to scare me.

The withering glance of the goddess.

I just want to know what you are doing here

the day before my wedding.

Business. I've become a distinguished composer..

- ...since we broke up. - Oh, distinguished.

Yeah, they needed a little help here

so i heeded the call of duty.

Don't pretend with me, Dexter.

You deliberately planned this festival

to conflict with my wedding.

It's a shabby, vindictive gesture.

Ooh, harsh words. Well, let's be honest.

I'll admit it, I'm still in love with you.

Oh.

I don't want you to get married again

because i still think you can become a wonderful woman.

Thank you.

I haven't the same high hopes for you.

Well, I don't want to become a wonderful woman.

Oh, isn't it enough you almost spoiled my life

without spoiling my wedding?

I didn't try to spoill your life, Sam.

Oh, and stop calling me Sam!

I'm sure you didn't try to spoil mine

but you were calling all the shots, you were dictating

the sort of a fella you wanted me to be.

With your background, and taste, and intelligence

you could have become a serious composer

or a diplomat or-or anything you wanted to be.

And what have you become?

A jukebox hero.

[chuckles] Well, is that bad?

Oh, Dexter, be satisfied

and let me alone.

Go away. Go away and stay away!

I've tried to. I even wanted to

but i guess i'm just a weak character.

I'm still in love with you.

[mellow music]

(Caroline) 'Dexter?'

Oh, hello, honey.

I don't think your sister likes me.

I do.

Thanks, sweetie.

What do you suppose she sees in George anyway?

Oh, I don't know.

Tracy just likes character, I guess.

I don't think George has so much character.

Oh, now, I hate to admit it

but i think she's made a pretty good choice.

I expect someday to see George Kittredge

President of Red Fern Coal.

That's not hard.

Father's president of Red Fern Coal.

[chuckles] Let's be fair now, honey.

It takes a lot of character to start at the bottom

and work your way up to the top.

If you start at the bottom of a coal mine..

Yeah?

...and work your way to the top..

Mm-hmm.

...you'd still only be on the ground.

Little one, you've brought up an interesting point.

Why does he always have to walk

like he owned the world?

And the way he sniffs the air..

[sniffs]

...like he was looking for breakfast.

Gee, for a minute there

I thought you were George Kittredge himself.

No, you're Caroline.

[instrumental music]

Hi!

Mm!

- Hello, beautiful. - Hello, handsome.

- You miss me? - Miserably.

- You happy now? - Ecstatic.

Didn't expect to find you coming from the garden.

Dexter's back.

He's turned his house over to those musicians.

Yes, I know. The posters are all over town.

George, you don't really mind him, do you?

Dexter? Well, how do you mean?

Well, I mean..

The fact of him.

I-I still don't understand, dear.

Oh, you know, that he was..

[sighs]

...well, my lord and master.

No one has ever been your lord and master.

Until now.

Poor Dexter is the sort of man

whose inheritance robbed him of..

Well, his heritage.

He never earned you

so how could he be expected to appreciate you?

Oh, George, you're so good for me.

I hope so.

Dexter..

Uh-huh.

Are you ever gonna get married again?

Oh, sure, I am.

I'm waiting for you to grow up.

Ooh, Dexter, for you i'll hurry.

[chuckles] Yes, you're gonna have to.

And you know, I wouldn't have acted the way Tracy did

when you published your song about her.

I wish you'd write a song about me.

Would you like that? Really?

Well, we ought to be able to whip something up here.

♪ Oh let me see now ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Little one ♪

♪ I was so gloomy ♪

♪ Felt that life sure would undo me ♪

♪ Till one day you happened to me ♪

♪ My little one ♪

[trumpet music]

Here now!

♪ Little one no controversy ♪

♪ You're my downfall ♪

♪ You're my Circe ♪

♪ I'm a good guy ♪

♪ Show me mercy ♪

♪ My little one ♪

♪ I have such love for you ♪

♪ Our future could be ♪

♪ Heaven above for you ♪

♪ And paradise for me ♪

♪ Little one fate might miscarry ♪

♪ Little one why do you tarry? ♪

♪ Little one when may i marry you? ♪

♪ My little one ♪

Oh, Dexter, that was beautiful.

I consider us engaged.

[whistling]

♪ Oh little one fate might miscarry ♪

♪ Little one why do you tarry? ♪

♪ Little one when may i marry you? ♪

♪ My little one ♪♪

Right song, but the wrong girl.

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Oh, hello, Willie. I'm glad you called.

Cousin Martha just phoned.

She wants me to give you lunch.

Oh. She wants you out of the house.

Well, where are you?

I'm in the office of the editor

of "Spy" magazine.

No, no, no. "Spy."

It rhymes with "lie."

Oh, I didn't mean.. I'm sorry.

Yes, that's right.

Now, he wants to send a couple of reporters up

to cover Tracy's wedding.

Now-now don't explode, my dear.

I, uh..

I have just read an article right here

'on the editor's desk'

'about your husband and that, uh, dancer.'

You know.

But it's, it's blackmail.

Besides, Tracy would never allow it.

Now, if you will allow a reporter

and a photographer into your home

to cover Tracy's wedding

I have the editor's word as a gentleman

that he will withhold the article

on your husband.

Alright, Willie. I suppose we have no choice.

Tracy will hit the ceiling.

Bye-bye.

(Tracy) 'Mother!'

George came early. He's changing.

I'll tell Edward to set another place for lunch.

I'm pooped.

No, dear, you're enervated.

I'm pooped, too.

There is one thing

I want understood right now.

No member of my family

is to invite Dexter-Haven into this house

until after i am married and gone!

I will not have my wedding spoiled by intruders!

- Tracy. - Yes?

I'm afraid we'll have to endure

a-a couple of intruders.

I just talked to your Uncle Willie.

Uncle Willie's an evil old man, isn't he?

Is he going to invite

a couple of painted ladies, here?

Please, Caroline, run along, dear.

Roll down your trousers.

Your Uncle Willie wants us to have

a photographer and reporter from "Spy" magazine

cover your wedding.

Is he out of his mind?

Intimate pictures of my wedding

in that barbershop magazine?

Oh, he can't be serious.

I'm afraid he's quite serious.

It seems if we don't allow them

this magazine will publish

a rather unsavory article about your father.

Good. I couldn't be happier. It serves him right.

Tracy, you must not be vindictive.

As Uncle Willie points out

you'll only make George suffer.

You owe it to him to suppress this article

if you possibly can.

And i'm to be examined, undressed

and generally humiliated at 15 cents a copy?

Oh, no!

Have some compassion, Tracy.

Oh, but this is intolerable!

At the idea of letting father off scot-free..

- Oh, Tracy. - No, I-I won't do it.

And in our house watching every move..

Why, jotting down notes

on how we sit, and talk, and eat, and move

just to save father's face? No.

- Tracy.. - No!

For me? Please?

Mother, I-I really think you're sorry

you ever let father go.

For George and for me, Tracy?

Oh, alright. I..

I can't stand seeing you hurt.

Thank you, dear.

Alright.

Let them send their spies.

I'll give them a story.

(Mrs. Seth) 'Now, Tracy..'

I'll give them a slant on Newport home life

that will stand their hair on end.

(Mrs. Seth) 'Oh, Tracy, promise me you'll behave like a lady'

'in front of these creatures.'

(Tracy) I promise.

[instrumental music]

Looks like the sort of place

where peace treaties are signed.

Or wars declared.

Maybe we should've gone around the service entrance.

Maybe this is the service entrance.

I don't understand how the lords

with all their money

ever got talked into letting us come here.

Publicity. They love it.

Wonder they didn't roll out the red carpet for us.

Mike, I don't like this assignment.

Neither do i, Liz, but i like to eat.

(Mike) How do you do? I think we're expected.

I'm Mike Connor, and this is Miss Imbrie.

We're from "Spy" magazine.

I'll tell Mrs. Lord you're here.

Please wait in the south parlor.

[instrumental music]

The south parlor.

But of course.

The family will be here directly to welcome you.

I wonder what with.

The south parlor.

It's alright.

Would you have four footmen bring me in

a large ashtray, please?

Mike, be careful what you say.

We may be wired for sound.

They couldn't pay me

to live in a joint like this.

You know, they won't.

I'd have more respect for this dame

if she'd throw us out.

Don't make snap judgments.

You were wrong about me. Remember?

Yeah.

- 'Hey, Liz?" - Huh?

Look at the loot they've been collecting.

Wow! Must run a hock shop on the side.

What's the matter?

[whispering] Joint's full of spies.

That ought to make us feel at home.

Move over.

Thank you.

[camera shutter clicking]

Look at this, Liz.

All the comforts.

Lousy with phones.

South parlor, sunroom, terrace, pool, stable..

Stables?

I always knew horses could talk.

[chuckles]

Mike, don't!

Yes?

(Mike on phone) “This is the voice of doom.

What?

This is to tell you your days are numbered.

[receiver clacks]

Hello?

Oh, dear.

One of the servants

has been at the sherry again.

Look, Huckleberry

you're gonna get us tossed out of here

before we get a story.

Oh, stop worrying.

You just watch the old master

put these people through the loops.

I'll watch, professor.

I assume these are the Seth Lord ancestors.

There certainly can be no other reason for hanging them.

Can't say they look very bright.

Inbreeding. Always produces idiots.

Here. Open this.

[door opening]

Ahh!

How do you do?

I believe you're the lady and gentleman from the press.

I am Caroline Lord.

Well, I'm Elizabeth Imbrie

and this is Mr. Macaulay Connor.

[speaking in foreign language]

I spoke French before i spoke English.

My early childhood was spent in Paris

where my father worked in a bank.

The House of Morgan.

You don't say.

(Caroline) 'Oh, yes, I do say.'

[speaking in foreign language]

Can you play the piano?

'I Can.'

I shall play and sing at the same time.

[singing "Little One" in foreign language]

♪ Oh.. ♪

♪ Ohh.. ♪

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

Le smallpox?

[speaking in foreign language]

How do you do? I'm Tracy Lord.

You must be..

Oh, of course, you are.

I adore strangers.

Oh, do sit down, please.

That-that sister of yours--

Isn't she a dear? And so talented.

Ah, but we're afraid she has a homicidal streak.

Did you get lost finding us?

No, no. Not at all. We had good directions.

Good.

I do hope you don't mind

our being here for your wedding.

Oh, but i'm delighted. We have so much cake.

What is your name, dear?

Uh, no, thank you.

I'm so sensitive to names.

My name is Elizabeth Imbrie.

Elizabeth Imbrie.

Oh, it sounds like a medieval saint

who was burned to death.

And you?

Uh, I-I'm Mike Connor.

Oh, Michael. What a lovely musical name.

Now, you mustn't be ashamed of it.

Oh, but i'm not. Mike is for Macaulay.

Then what's the Macaulay for?

Uh, my father taught English history in high school.

My friends call me Mike.

Of whom you have many, I'm sure.

Oh, English history has always fascinated me.

Cromwell and-and Robin Hood

and-and Jack the Ripper..

Where did he teach?

Uh, your father, I mean.

Uh, South Bend, Indiana.

Oh, South Bend.

It sounds like dancing, doesn't it?

Oh, you must have had a most happy childhood there.

[chuckles] Oh, it was screams.

Oh, I'm so glad.

I didn't mean it that way.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

It's alright. It's a natural mistake.

Are you the photographer or the, um..

I take pictures.

Oh, it's a great art. Did you bring your brownie?

Ah, then you must be the one

who's sort of a writer, Mr. Connor.

Yeah, sort of, yes.

Have i read any of your novels?

- I doubt it. - Oh.

- I haven't written any. - Oh, but you must.

Mozart composed at 13.

You must be at least 30.

Time is flying.

Where were you born, Miss Imbrie?

Duluth.

Ah, Duluth.

That's west of here, isn't it?

Mm. Sort of, but we occasionally get

the eastern breezes.

Are you two, uh, going together?

Now, look, Miss Lord..

That's an odd question, I must say.

Oh, I don't see why.

I think it's fascinating.

Why, birds and spring..

Well, it's sort of the intimate little detail

that you like to write about, isn't it, Mr. Connor?

Oh, but if you'd rather not have your privacy invaded

I-I will certainly respect your wishes.

Oh, please.

If you'll excuse me, I-I'll see what's keeping mama.

Mama is so eager to see you.

Mama?

You know, professor

I think you dropped a loop.

Oh, she can't be for real.

Who was doing the interviewing?

You think she was born that way?

No.

Takes years.

I know we're being taken for a ride.

Well, if we are, let's enjoy the scenery.

I'm scared. I want to go home.

Mama, mama, this is Miss Imbrie of Duluth

and the young man she goes with

at "Spy" magazine

Mr. Mike Macaulay Connor.

He's the son of an English teacher.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.

- Not at all. - We enjoyed the floor show.

Oh, you must mean Caroline.

Well, then, you've met us all, haven't you?

Except Mr. Lord.

Look at the way she does her hair, Tracy. Isn't it pretty?

Oh, it's lovely. Is it lacquered?

Uh, about Mr. Lord.

Uh, will he be here for the wedding?

We were just about to have lunch.

I hope you'll join us.

Thank you.

Oh, good. I'll tell Edward.

Well, we wondered about Mr. Lord

because i was hoping to be able get..

We wondered about Mr. Lord because--

Oh, we usually have box lunches on the lawn

but today it's sit-down. Oh, do come to the garden.

Do you like your sherry very dry or very sweet?

I'll have scotch on the rocks.

Oh, George, this is Mr. Connor

of "Spy" magazine.

He's going to cover our wedding.

- How are you? - How do you do?

And Miss Imbrie of Duluth.

How do you do?

Well, that's splendid.

I'm a great admirer of your magazine, Mr. Connor.

Really? Why?

Well, it seems to have its finger

on the pulse of the public

and its ear to the ground.

Well, that's rather a vulnerable position

don't you think?

I've asked Edward

to set two extra places for lunch.

(Dexter) Make it three! Hello, sweetheart! Mm!

- Who he? - 'Dexter, this is Miss Imbrie.'

And Mr. Connor from "Spy" magazine.

" Spy?“

Say your tastes have changed a little

haven't they, Sam?

Sam?

Her middle name's Samantha.

She hates it.

- Hi. - Hi.

Isn't it time for your milk

and arsenic, darling?

[camera shutter clicks]

Hmm. Are you the same Dexter-Haven

that wrote a song called "Samantha?"

(Dexter) 'Uh-huh.

And, unless i'm mistaken

weren't you once married to Miss Lord?

Guilty on both counts.

I remember. Two years ago.

Elopement, headlines, divorce, headlines

and now you're back for the wedding?

Oh, no, actually, I'm here for this jazz festival

but i expect to pitch a little rice

on the side.

Uh, Mr. Haven has become quite famous

since our divorce.

Undoubtedly, you know of his piano concerto

"Choo Choo Mama."

Ah, yes, I know it very well.

Tell me, Miss Lord

how did you and Mr. Kittredge meet?

Heaven brought them together.

My father took me to inspect one of his mines

a-and Mr. Kittredge happened to be there to guide us.

How romantic.

Yes. They met in a hole in the ground.

[chuckles]

Well, we're all very friendly.

It's the only civilized way to behave.

Yes, well, then could i have a picture of the bride

between her first and second husband?

Oh, really! I don't think.. Darling.

Something like this pretty thrilling?

Uh, might i suggest

that the two gentlemen look at each other?

You don't look as well

as the last time i saw you, Kittredge.

(Liz) 'Ready?'

[camera shutter clicking]

Of course, it's understandable.

You got a lot on your mind

but it's too late now to back out, old boy.

[chuckles] They grew up together.

Miss Lord, would you..

Would you look at your first husband

in this one, please?

You don't look old enough to marry anybody, Sam

not even for the first time. You never did.

(Liz) 'Ready?'

[camera shutter clicking]

'One more, please.'

Oh, naturally.

She needs trouble to mature, Kittredge.

Give her a lot of it.

Afraid she can't count on me for that.

Ooh, that's a pity, 'cause i gave her plenty.

(Liz) 'Ready?'

(Mike) Uh, Mr. Kittredge, could you smile a bit?

You're the groom, you know?

Oh.

[camera shutter clicking]

-'Good.' - 'Thank you.'

Miss Lord, would you please lift your chin?

I thought i was sticking it out.

Oops.

[camera shutter clicking]

Hey, that's some rock you got there, Sam.

Did you mine that yourself, George?

Father sent her a diamond necklace.

Oh, yes, when will i be able to get a picture

of the family united with Mr. Lord?

Oh, my husband loathes publicity!

Uh, but he will be here a little later, won't he, Mrs. Lord?

[car horn honks]

Papa!

Papa!

'It's papa!'

Oh, capital! It's papa!

Dear papa, you came at last!

Papa?!

Have you by any chance slipped a cog?

Uncle Willie, for the time being

you have to be father.

Why?

Hush. I'll explain later.

Look! It's papa!

It's papa!

- It's papa. - Yes?

Uh, Caroline, tell Edward

to set another place for lunch, please.

You're looking terribly clever today, papa.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Papa, this is Miss Imbrie and Mr. Connor.

- How do you do? - They're from "Spy."

"Spy?" Ooh, of course, the magazine.

Yes, I believe i know your editor.

Dreadful fellow.

Oh, he's wretched.

Papa, these two charming people

were beginning to doubt your existence.

Well, imagine that.

[camera shutter clicking]

Father of the bride.

We'll use it to head the article.

Look here, I'm afraid you got my bad side.

I'm sure you have no bad side, Mr. Lord.

Ah, I like her.

Now i'll have a drink if i may.

[indistinct chatter]

[camera clatters]

Oh, how clumsy of me!

I could die!

I'll bet it's ruined.

I'd like a piece of your bet.

Is it broken?

Probably.

Whatever will you do?

I carry a spare.

Luncheon is served.

Oh! Thank you, Edward!

Uh, shall we go in?

We're all famished, I'm sure.

Bring your drinks.

- Sweetie. - I haven't got a drink.

We'll have some Schnapps, pops.

So tell me, Seth, when you look around

you know this wonderful family and everything

don't you often wonder

what you've done to deserve it?

I do. I do, indeed, my boy.

Every morning i look into the mirror

and i say to myself

"Seth Lord, what in the world

have you done to deserve this?"

And what have you done?

I beg your pardon? Oh, not a thing.

[laughing]

It's a fine place you have here, Mr. Lord.

You build it yourself?

Oh, of course, brick by brick.

Quite an undertaking, you know, I did.

And it would appear that each brick

'is about to fall upon me'

Tracy, your Uncle Willie is here!

My what?

Aren't you gonna greet your Uncle Willie?

Uncle Willie!

Uncle Willie!

[whispering] Father, what are you doing here?

I think i have a right to be here.

You are Uncle Willie. Understand?

No, I don't.

Shh! I'll explain later. Look, everybody!

Isn't it nice of Uncle Willie to surprise us?

Miss Imbrie, Mr. Connor, this is my Uncle Willie.

[instrumental music]

Were you by any chance

playing footsie with me at lunch?

From where i sat?

I didn't think your reach was that good.

Seth Lord has a roving eye and foot.

Mmm.

Elegant junk.

It's shiny.

Would i trade places with Miss Tracy Lord

for all her wealth and beauty?

[chuckles] Just ask me.

Alright, I will.

Would you trade places with Miss Tracy Lord

for all of her wealth and her beauty?

Well, you know, I can't help thinking about it.

[scoffs]

♪ Who wants to be a millionaire? ♪

♪ I don't ♪

♪ Have flashy flunkies everywhere? ♪

♪ I don't ♪

♪ Who wants the bother of a country estate? ♪

♪ A country estate ♪

♪ Is something i'd hate ♪

♪ Who wants to wallow in champagne? ♪

♪ I-I-I-I don't ♪

♪ Who wants a supersonic plane? ♪

♪ I don't ♪

♪ Who wants a private landing field too? ♪

Plate!

♪ I don't ♪ ♪ And i don't ♪

♪ 'Cause all i wantis you ♪ ♪ 'Cause all i wantis you ♪

♪ Who wants to be a millionaire? ♪

♪ I don't ♪

♪ Who wants uranium to spare? ♪

♪ I-I don't ♪

♪ Who wants to journey on a gigantic yacht? ♪

♪ Do i want a yacht? ♪

♪ Oh how i do not ♪

♪ Who wants a fancy foreign car? ♪

♪ I don't ♪

♪ Who wants to tire of caviar? ♪

♪ Mmm-mm ♪

♪ Who wants a marble swimming pool too? ♪

♪ I don't ♪ ♪ And i don't ♪

♪ 'Cause all i wantis you ♪ ♪ 'Cause all i wantis you ♪

♪ Who wants to be a millionaire? ♪

♪ I don't ♪

♪ And go to every swell affair? ♪

♪ Uh-uh ♪

♪ Who wants to ride behind ♪

♪ A liveried chauffeur? ♪

♪ A liveried chauffeur? ♪

♪ Do i want? No sir ♪

♪ Who wants an opera box i'll bet? ♪

♪ I don't ♪

♪ And sleep through Wagner at the met? ♪

♪ I don't ♪

♪ Who wants to corner Cartier's too? ♪

♪ I don't ♪ ♪ And i don't ♪

♪ 'Cause all i want.. ♪ ♪ 'Cause all i want.. ♪

♪ Is you ♪ ♪ Is you ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Cold?

And what little mission of mischief

brings you out of the bushes?

Wedding present.

Wouldn't it have been simpler

to have it sent over?

Oh, no.

Whoever brought it

could never say what i want to say.

Well..

Lovely, unrelenting, huh?

You said you had something to say.

Well, yes, I'd..

...hoped you'd changed a little, Tracy

maybe softened some.

Well, not-not for my sake entirely

but for yours.

You'd stand a better chance for happiness.

Thank you. I'll manage.

Oh, yeah.

That you will. You'll manage, alright.

You'll manage George, too, but heaven help him

if he shows any signs of weakness or rebellion.

I see where you haven't changed any either, Dexter.

Uh, you know, I tried hard to figure it out

and i finally decided that your father hurt you deeply..

- ...when he hurt your mother. - Please.

So you started demanding perfection.

Nobody was gonna hurt you.

You felt i'd tricked you.

But, gee, I didn't know that you wanted a husband

who would be kind of a high priest

to a virgin goddess.

Stop using those foul words.

It's a real pity, too, Tracy

because, you know, you'd be a wonderful woman

if you'd just-just let your tiara slip a little.

You'll never be a wonderful woman

or even a wonderful human being

until you learn to have some regard

for human frailty.

There's a lot more of you goddesses around

than people realize.

Is that all you have to say?

No.

I wanted to say

that those first weeks we spent together

were the most wonderful i've ever known.

I want to thank you for them.

Good luck, Sam, and good sailing.

[mellow music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

Hey, skipper, when do we eat?

Now.

Boy, you've been at it long enough.

It's a bride's prerogative.

(Dexter) 'It's just that i don't like you out of my sight so long.'

Oh, that's nice.

Ouch.

I'll have that fixed in the morning.

First course.

You'll never be able to follow it.

- Ah! - Second course.

Well..

- What is it? - Tomato juice.

Oh, but you've done something brilliant to it.

What did you do?

Opened the can and poured it out.

Oh, it's so piquant.

Good. Ahh!

Invented by the Earl of Sandwich, huh?

With something special added.

[laughs]

You hussy!

You said you'd eat anything!

[shrieking]

[instrumental music]

♪ Suntanned windblown ♪

♪ Honeymooners at last alone ♪

♪ Feeling far above par ♪

♪ Oh how lucky we are ♪

♪ While i give to you ♪

♪ And you give to me ♪

♪ True love ♪

♪ True love ♪

♪ So on and on ♪

♪ It will always be ♪

♪ True love ♪

♪ True love ♪

♪ For you and i ♪

♪ Have a guardian angel ♪

♪ On high ♪

♪ With nothing to do ♪

♪ But to give to you ♪

♪ And to give to me ♪

♪ Love forever true ♪

♪ For you and i ♪

♪ Have a guardian angel ♪

♪ On high ♪

♪ With nothing to do ♪

♪ But to give to you ♪

♪ And to give to me ♪

♪ Love forever true ♪

♪ Love forever ♪

♪ True ♪♪

(George) 'Tracy!'

Tracy!

- Hey! - Oh!

You alright?

Yes, I.. I was just--

I know. Half-asleep.

Say, aren't you a pretty big qirl

to be playing with boats?

It's a model of the "True Love."

A wedding present from Dexter.

Oh.

We spent our honeymoon on her.

Oh, my, she was yare.

Yare? What's yare?

Oh, sleek, quick to the helm

everything a boat should be.

Seems hardly in good taste as a wedding present.

George, the "True Love"

never really existed with Dexter.

I want you to know that.

I do know.

That's the wonderful thing about you.

You're untouched by this foolish first marriage.

There's a beautiful purity about you

like a...statue to be worshipped.

But i don't want to be worshipped.

I want to be loved.

Well, that goes without saying.

But i also want you up on a pedestal where you belong

where i can look up and adore you.

[chuckles] Never mind.

(Mrs. Seth) 'Tracy! Aren't you going in, dear?'

I changed my mind.

(George) 'Mr. Lord..'

I haven't had a chance to thank you yet

for coming back for the wedding.

It was very decent of you, and we both appreciate it.

Well, thank you, George.

I thought my wife would not object.

George, we've moved your things over to the gatehouse

to make room for those magazine people.

You don't mind, do you?

Anything you do is alright with me, Mother Lord.

We're having cocktails here

before going over to Uncle Willie's.

Oh, well, I better dash off and change.

I'll see you later, Tracy.

Excuse me.

I have a feeling George is going to take that ring tomorrow

and go right through center with it.

[laughter]

That's very amusing.

Almost as amusing as the sight of you

with your arm around mother.

Well, I find it most unamusing

to be passed off as your Uncle Willie.

And do take that tone out of your voice, Tracy.

'It is most unattractive.'

Oh, really?

And your dancer friend, how does she speak to you?

Dulcet and intoxicating?

Heady enough to make you forget family responsibilities?

Stop it instantly!

Oh, mother, I can't help it. It's sickening.

A magnificent right he's got to come back here

in his best head-of-the-family manner

and start taking charge

as if he'd done nothing at all.

Well, Tracy, it's not really your affair.

If it concerns anyone..

Well, actually, I don't know who it concerns

except your father.

Well, that is very wise of you, Margaret.

What most wives don't seem to realize

is that a husband's philandering

even as innocuous as my own

has nothing whatever to do with them.

And, pray, just what has it to do with, then?

A reluctance to grow old, I think.

Oh.

I suppose the best mainstay a man can have

as he gets along in years is a daughter

the right kind of daughter

one who's full of warmth and affection

a kind of foolish, unquestioning

'uncritical affection.

None of which i've got, of course.

I'm a cold goddess.

If your vanity thinks in terms of goddesses.

You have a good mind, Tracy.

You have a pretty face, a fine, disciplined body

that does what you tell it.

You have everything it takes to make a lovely woman

except the one essential

an understanding heart.

Without it, you might just as well be made of bronze.

That's an awful thing to say to anyone.

(Mr. Seth) 'It's an awful thing to have to say.'

Seth, that's too much.

I'm afraid it isn't enough.

Darling, your father doesn't mean that.

Neither one of you means it.

Both of you seem to forget that in striking out at each other

you hurt others beside yourself.

[mellow music]

Oh, what's the matter with everyone all of a sudden?

Get In.

[engine revving]

Are you learning anything about the idle rich?

Yeah. They drive too fast.

Where are we headed anyway?

The graveyard.

I'm not ready.

I thought i'd show you the playground of the rich

the graveyard of wealth.

Well, for that, I'm ready.

[tires screech]

Beautiful, isn't it?

(Mike) 'The grass needs cutting.'

It's been boarded up for 15 years.

Why?

The high cost of being rich.

Most of the homes here are closed up

or sold for taxes.

Why don't you write about that?

[engine revving]

You got a chip on your shoulder about me. Why?

Because you came here with your mind already made up.

The time to make up your mind about people is never.

- I had an opinion. - Unfavorable and unfair.

Really?

What exactly do you do around here

that's so worthwhile?

Do you consider what you do worthwhile?

Making a living off of people's

personal lives and misfortunes?

I cannot pick and choose.

Oh, you could be anything you wanted to be.

But you'll never be a first-class writer

or a first-class human being

until you learn to have some compassion

or regard for human..

- You were saying? - Nothing.

This is the second time you've taken me for a ride

and i don't like it.

Oh, really?

Really, Miss Tracy Samantha.

Samantha.

What a lovely musical name!

Reminds me of an Indian cure for snakebite.

What's it stand for? The name, I mean.

It stands for no nonsense.

What do you do besides collect husbands, Miss Lord?

I mind my own business.

This happens to be my business.

For instance, um, how old are you, Miss Lord?

Twenty-six?

No children? Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Time is flying.

What do you do in your spare time?

I sometimes endure arrogant reporters.

Arrogant, indeed.

Shall we keep this on an impersonal basis?

Shall we continue with the full tour, Mr. Connor?

Gladly, Miss Lord, but without the full treatment.

[instrumental music]

Another showplace, Mr. Connor.

(Mike) 'Yeah, that's quite a shack.'

'Who owns that?'

My Uncle Willie.

It's being turned into a boys' school next year.

Mm-hmm.

He wanted to sell it for taxes

and when he couldn't, he decided to give it away.

It was cheaper.

- Would you like to see it? - Sure.

[door opens]

Good afternoon, Lawrence.

Oh, I didn't hear you ring, Miss Tracy.

We didn't. We just barged in.

- Is Uncle Willie around? - No, Miss Tracy.

He hasn't returned from lunch yet.

Oh, that's right. I forgot.

Well, we'll just help ourselves at the bar if you don't mind.

Not at all, Miss Tracy.

Good afternoon, John.

Good afternoon, Miss Tracy.

Your Uncle Willie getting kicked out?

No. They're getting ready for a party tonight.

- Last fling, huh? - Sort of.

It's my bachelor party.

- Hello, Tommy. - Good afternoon, Miss Tracy.

- Girls only? - Oh, no. We're democratic.

We're allowing men.

The only bachelor parties i ever attended

were with girls who were there used to come up out of cakes.

Please, Mr. Connor. This is Newport.

This is a bar?

Uncle Willie's the kind of man

who doesn't like to go far when he's thirsty.

I'm gonna have to buddy it up with Uncle Willie.

Huh! I had a bed that did that once.

Are you getting an interesting story on us, Mr. Connor?

Why couldn't you break down and call me Mike?

Oh, I couldn't possibly break down, Mr. Connor.

I was raised on a pedestal.

Would you?

You know, I get the feeling something's bothering you

and i'm getting clobbered for it.

You're a darned attractive girl.

Instead of wearing an orchid on your shoulder

you're wearing a chip.

You think i'm attractive?

A high priestess?

You're awful tough to figure.

When you write your story about us, Mr. Connor

why don't you compare me to one of these homes?

Boarded up, a thing of the past

a relic to be sold for taxes.

Miss Lord, you got rocks in your head.

Oh, the truth is that i don't fit

into the landscape, either.

The house has been boarded up too long.

There's an answer for that, too.

Tear the boards down, open the doors

throw open the windows, and let the wind blow through.

Yeah, that's better.

♪ I've no proof ♪

♪ When people say ♪

♪ You're more or less aloof ♪

♪ But you're sensational ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ If you are called the fair Miss Frigidaire ♪

♪ 'Cause you're sensational ♪

♪ Making love ♪

♪ Is quite an art ♪

♪ What you require is the proper squire ♪

♪ To fire your heart ♪

♪ And if you say ♪

♪ That one fine day ♪

♪ You'll let me come to call ♪

♪ We'll have a ball ♪

♪ 'Cause you're sensational ♪

♪ Sensational ♪

♪ That's all ♪

[instrumental music]

♪ Making love ♪

♪ Is quite an art ♪

♪ What you require is the proper squire ♪

♪ To fire your heart ♪

♪ And if you say that one fine day ♪

♪ You'll let me come to call ♪

♪ We'll have a ball ♪

♪ 'Cause you're sensational ♪

♪ Sensational ♪

♪ That's all ♪

♪ That's all ♪

♪ That's all ♪♪

What goes on here?

There's a dark horse in this here race

and my boy's running a slow third.

What we need is a little change-of-pace music, junior.

[trumpet music]

♪ Da da da ♪

♪ Da da da da dum ♪

♪ Da da da dee ♪

♪ I love you Samantha ♪

♪ And my love will never die ♪

♪ Remember Samantha ♪

♪ I'm a one-gal guy ♪

♪ Together Samantha ♪

♪ We could ride a star and ride it high ♪

♪ Remember Samantha ♪

♪ I'm a one-gal guy ♪

♪ And if some distant day ♪

♪ You decided to say ♪

♪ Get along go away goodbye ♪

♪ Remember ♪

♪ Samantha ♪

♪ I'm a one-gal guy ♪

♪ Remember ♪

♪ Samantha ♪

♪ I'm a one ♪

♪ Gal guy ♪♪

[laughs]

Now we gettin' warm.

[instrumental music]

That's quite a brawl.

Yes. You know, one of the prettiest sights

in this pretty world is the sight

of the privileged class enjoying its privileges.

They're really not a bad bunch when you get to know 'em.

Oh? You getting to know them?

Slowly.

With the rich and the mighty, it takes a little patience.

That's an old Spanish proverb.

Yes, well, I come from a long line of Swedes.

We have an old saying, too.

"When the cat's away

why should the mouse act like a rat?"

Liz! Liz! I-I've been looking for you.

Oh! Oh, really? Well, I've been right here

all the time, Mr. Lord.

Uh, I-I beg your pardon?

Oh, oh, call me Seth.

Seth.

You know, Mr. Lord, your daughter

doesn't resemble you at all.

As a matter of fact, there's an amazing difference.

Well, naturally. She's a girl, you know.

And i'm a wicked old man.

[laughs]

- 'Willie?' - Huh?

- Dexter's looking for you. -'Oh!'

Well, Mrs. Lord, you called him Willie.

Miss Imbrie, there is a misunderstanding here

which i should like to clear up.

In the first place, I am Seth Lord.

Yes! Yes.

- Well, that makes you-- - Available.

- I don't get it. - Uh, don't go away.

- I'll be right back. - Oh, dear.

You are here in exchange

for repressing an article about me.

However, I think you should know

that i shall sue your editor

if anything derogatory to any of us

is published, okay?

I hope you do.

Mr. Lord, Mrs. Lord

you must know that Mike and i

weren't told anything about this.

Why, of course.

Mother! Oh, mother, I'm so glad to see you.

- Mike. - Hello, Mr. Kittredge.

Hello, father.

Miss Imbrie, are you having a wonderful time?

Wonderful.

And, Mike

are you having a wonderful time?

It's a gasser.

Isn't that wonderful?

George?

Shall we dance?

- We were. - Oh.

(Tracy) 'Goodbye.'

- George? - Hmm?

Are you having a wonderful time?

Mm-hmm.

Isn't it a beautiful party?

Yes. It's a very nice party.

Wouldn't you like to sit down, dear?

Here? Oh, don't be silly. We'll get stepped on.

I thought perhaps you were tired.

I see that Dexter's here.

Oh, everybody's here.

Everybody's having a wonderful time.

That's nice, isn't it, George?

Yes, that's very nice, Tracy, very nice.

Very nice.

[applause]

[drum roll]

Thank you very much. That was splendid.

Very nice. Very nice, indeed.

Uh, we are honored in Newport

to have visiting us several famous orchestras

for the, uh, uh, jazz festival tomorrow night

among them, the-the greatest of them all

Mr. Louis Armstrong!

Yes. Yes.

We also have with us one of

the sponsors of the, uh, festival

Mr. Dexter-Haven, so i'll ask Dexter to explain.

Thank you.

[piano music]

♪ Dear gentle folk of Newport ♪

♪ Or maybe i should say hats and cats ♪

♪ I want you to lend an ear because uh ♪

♪ Well i want you to hear some really ♪

♪ Shimmerin' sharps and flats ♪

♪ For these cozy virtuosi ♪

♪ Just about the greatest in the trade ♪

♪ Are fixing to show you now ♪

♪ Precisely how ♪

♪ Or approximately ♪

♪ Jazz music is made ♪

♪ Well you take some skins ♪

♪ Jazz begins ♪

♪ And you take a bass ♪

♪ Man now we're gettin' some place ♪

♪ Take a box ♪

♪ One that rocks ♪

♪ Take a blue horn New Orleans born ♪

♪ Ahh you take a stick ♪

♪ With a lick ♪

♪ Take a bone ♪

♪ Oh ho hold the phone ♪

♪ Take a spot ♪

♪ Cool and hot ♪

♪ Now you has ♪

♪ Jazz jazz jazz jazz jazz ♪

♪ Le tout ensemble ♪

♪ Oh that's positively ♪

♪ Therapeutic ♪

♪ Now you has jazz jazz jazz ♪

♪ Messrs Hall and Young ♪

♪ That's Ed Hall ♪

♪ And Trummy Young ♪

♪ Now you has Messrs Kyle and Shaw ♪

♪ That's Billy Kyle ♪

♪ Arvell Shaw ♪

♪ Now you has Mr. Barrett Deems ♪

♪ Well listen to well you know who ♪

'Yeah!'

♪ Hey pops you want to grab a little of what's left here? ♪

♪ Yeah daddy yeah ♪ ♪ Here we go ♪

♪ If you sail ♪

♪ A-sailing sailing ♪

♪ Over the sea ♪

♪ Oh will you wait for me? ♪

♪ Take my tip they're all molto hip in ltaly ♪

♪ Well arrivaderci as for France? ♪

♪ Oh i know you're very big there ♪

♪ Yes believe it or not ♪

♪ I do believe i do indeed ♪

♪ The Frenchmens all prefer what they call ♪

♪ Le jazz hot! ♪

♪ Formidable! ♪

♪ Take a plane ♪

♪ Oh ba-ba-doo zat ♪

♪ Go to Siam ♪

♪ Ba ba-doo ahh ♪

♪ In Bangkok today around the clock ♪

♪ Well they all like to jam ♪

♪ Ba-za-dee oop dee azz ♪

♪ Indians on ♪

♪ Boo da doo zip ♪

♪ The Amazon ♪

♪ Ooh ba boo zap ♪

♪ Beat one bar and all of them are ♪

♪ Oh well gone man gone! ♪

♪ Ahh from the equator ♪

♪ Up to the pole ♪

♪ Everybody wingin' everybody singin' ♪

♪ That rock rock rock rock rock 'n' roll ♪

♪ From the east to the west ♪

♪ From the coast to the coast ♪

♪ Jazz is king ♪

♪ 'Cause jazz is the thing ♪

♪ That folks dig most ♪

♪ Bom bom bom bom bom ♪

♪ Ba-da-bom bom bom bom ♪

♪ And that's jazz ♪♪

[applause]

Look here, I-I want, I want to dance with Tracy.

Oh, do you, Uncle Willie? That's nice.

Well, you can dance with George the rest of your life.

Let's the three of us dance together.

Oh, no, no, no, no, my dear.

That just isn't done, you know?

Are you having a wonderful time, Uncle Willie?

I most certainly am.

You know, you're my very, very favorite uncle.

Well, I'd be highly complimented

if it weren't for the fact

that i'm the only uncle you have.

Oh, I think that's sad.

You're the only uncle i have in the whole world.

Ohh!

[Jazz Music]

- May i? - May you what?

Dance with the bride.

You may dance with the bride.

Are you coming to my wedding, Dexter?

No.

What's the matter? Don't you like weddings?

Depends on who's getting married.

Oh, it's going to be a nice wedding.

I'm sure it will.

You know, that's a very cute song you sang.

Why don't you write cute songs like that?

- I wrote that one. - Oh.

Well, I still like it.

You're really floating tonight, aren't you?

Really floating, aren't i?

I'm sensational. Everybody says so.

(Tracy) 'Oh, it got dark all of a sudden.'

- It's very dark. - Oh, it's too dark.

Since i won't be at the wedding tomorrow

don't i get to kiss the bride?

Everybody kisses the bride.

I want everybody to be happy, even you, Dexter.

You may kiss the bride.

Oh, Sam. All the happiness in the world.

Oh, Dex.

(George) Tracy!

Oh, hello, George.

I was just kissing the bride.

You know, the, the old custom.

Yes, just kissing the bride, it's a very old custom.

You're not fooling anybody, Dexter.

The wedding is tomorrow

and you're not gonna block it.

Come on, dear.

Are we going to dance, George?

- No, dear. - What are we going to do?

I think you ought to lie down for a while.

But i feel fine. I'm sensational.

♪ I've no proof when people say ♪

♪ I'm more or less aloof ♪

♪ But i'm sensational ♪

♪ I don't care if i am called ♪

♪ The fair Miss Frigidaire ♪

♪ 'Cause i'm sensational ♪

♪ Making love is quite an art ♪

Behave yourself.

♪ What i require is the proper squire ♪

♪ To fire my heart ♪

♪ So if one day ♪

♪ You'll say you'll come around to call ♪

♪ We'll have a ball ♪

♪ 'Cause i'm sensational ♪

You're sensational, alright.

♪ Sensational that's all ♪

♪ That's all that's all ♪♪

Now, I want you to lie down and rest.

I'll see that you're not disturbed.

George, lie down with me.

Tracy!

[instrumental music]

[door opens]

[door closes]

[music continues]

[door opens]

[music continues]

[door closes]

You'll find it under "Harvard Classics."

Give Darwin a little nudge there.

I thought i'd pour a little champagne.

It's a great leverer, L-Leveler.

It makes you my equal.

Oh, no. I wouldn't say that.

Well, it almost makes you my equal.

C.K. Dexter-Haven

didn't you once know a girl named Tracy Samantha Lord?

Sounds familiar.

No, you didn't.

If you had really known her

you would've never let her get away.

- You got hiccups. - Excuse.

It's alright.

Tracy's no ordinary woman.

So i understand.

You are still in love with her.

Oh, don't deny it, buddy.

I wasn't going to.

Oh?

Does she know this?

Yeah, she knows it.

Nah. That ain't the way i get it.

What's that?

♪ I have heard among this clan ♪

♪ You are called the forgotten man ♪

♪ Is that what they're sayin'? ♪

♪ Well did you ever? ♪

♪ What a swell party this is ♪

♪ And have you heard the story of ♪

♪ A boy a girl unrequited love? ♪

♪ Sounds like pure soap opera ♪

♪ I may cry ♪

♪ Tune in tomorrow ♪

♪ What a swell party this is ♪

♪ What frails what frocks ♪ ♪ What broads ♪

♪ What furs what rocks ♪ ♪ They're beautiful ♪

♪ Well i've never seen such gaiety ♪

♪ Neither did i ♪

♪ It's all just too too exquis really ♪

♪ This French champagne ♪

♪ Domestic ♪

♪ So good for the brain ♪

♪ That's what i was gonna say ♪

♪ You know you're a brilliant fellow? ♪

♪ Thank you ♪ ♪ Drink up Jack ♪

♪ Please don't eat that glass my friend ♪

♪ Have you heard about Dear Blanche? ♪

♪ Got run down by an avalanche ♪ ♪ No ♪

♪ Don't worry she's a game girl you know ♪

♪ Got up and finished fourth ♪ ♪ This kid's got guts ♪

♪ Havin' a nice time? ♪

♪ Grab a line ♪

♪ Have you heard that Mimsy Star ♪

♪ Oh what now? ♪

♪ She got pinched in the Astor Bar ♪

♪ Sauced again eh? ♪ ♪ She was stoned ♪

♪ Well did you ever? ♪ ♪ Never! ♪

♪ What a swell party this is ♪♪

I'm gonna have a drink.

I may have a bit of the bubbly myself.

- I'm gonna dance. - Don't get hurt.

Oh, no.

♪ It's great ♪

♪ Ahh it's great ♪

♪ It's grand ♪ ♪ So grand ♪

♪ It's won-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha wo-o-nderland ♪

♪ La la la la da da ya da da bum bum ♪

♪ La da da da ya da da da bum bum ♪

♪ We sing ♪

♪ We sing ♪

♪ So rare ♪

♪ So rare ♪

♪ Like old camembert ♪

♪ Like ba ba rum ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba bum ♪

♪ Don't dig that kind of croonin' chum ♪

You must be one of the newer fellas.

♪ Have you heard? It's in the stars ♪

♪ Next July we collide with Mars ♪

♪ Well did you ever? ♪

♪ What a swell party a swell party ♪

♪ A swellegant elegant party ♪

♪ This is ♪

♪ I drink to your health ♪

♪ Naah let's drink to your wealth ♪

♪ You're my bon ami ♪

♪ Hey that's French ♪

♪ Liberty ♪

♪ Fraternity ♪

♪ Have you heard? It's in the stars ♪

♪ Next July we collide with Mars ♪

♪ Well did you ever? ♪

♪ What a swell party ♪

♪ Swell party ♪

♪ Swellegant elegant party ♪

♪ This is ♪♪

[instrumental music]

- Hands up. - Ohh!

Oh, I hate you.

Where do you think you're going?

Some place and dance.

But they're dancing in there.

I know, but George is frowning at me

and i can't dance when anyone frowns at me.

Shh.

We'll go over the wall.

Whose car should we use?

Anyone's.

Let's use the blue one.

Oh, no. That's mine.

Hello, George. Where's Tracy?

Um, powdering her nose.

Hello.

Hello.

You look fine.

I feel fine.

[telephone ringing]

Do you hear a telephone ringing somewhere?

[ringing continues]

It's my bedroom telephone.

It's probably George.

You can't marry him.

Oh, no?

Well, I'm going to.

He's not in your class.

Ha ha! Snob.

George comes from the so-called lower class.

Dexter from the upper.

Well, I'll take the lower, every time.

Sure, as long as you can't get a drawing room.

- You're insulting. - I'm sorry.

Oh, don't apologize.

- Who's apologizing? - You are.

And if you don't think i'm going to marry sweet old George

you come around tomorrow morning.

It's already tomorrow morning.

Oh, ha ha, so it is.

Oh, let's not quarrel, Mike.

What you need is another drink.

That's right.

[instrumental music]

I can't find Liz.

Well, you know, I just saw someone

wander out into the garden, alone.

Oh, you don't tell me. The little Vixen.

Olly, olly, oxen free. What's the matter?

Uncle Willie giving you a little trouble?

That man's gonna end up a juvenile delinquent.

Mark my words.

- Have you seen Mike anywhere? - No.

No? That's funny.

He disappeared over an hour ago.

Where's Tracy?

Say, this party's really turning

into a game of hide and seek.

She's disappeared.

Well, phone her at home.

I did. There was no answer.

Try again.

Alright, I will.

Well, since Mike's disappeared, too

I may as well go home.

Well, how about me taking you home

then everybody come look for us?

[chuckles] That's the nicest thing i've heard tonight.

[instrumental music]

[telephone ringing]

[ringing continues]

You know, the strangest thing..

I keep thinking i hear bells.

That's the champagne for you.

[hiccupping] They're now putting bells in the bubbles.

You're quite a fellow.

That's what they say.

Say, let's go for a swim in the moonlight.

But you wanted to dance.

Oh, tonight i want to do everything.

Oops, a rumba.

♪ In the heavens ♪

♪ Stars are dancing ♪

♪ And the mounting moon ♪

♪ Is new ♪

♪ What a rare night ♪

♪ For romancing ♪

♪ Mind if i make love to you? ♪

♪ Since the dear day ♪

♪ Of our meeting ♪

♪ I've wanted to tell you ♪

♪ All i long to do ♪

♪ Dawn is nearing ♪

♪ Time is fleeting ♪

♪ Mind if i make love to you? ♪

♪ If you let me ♪

♪ I'll endeavor ♪

♪ To persuade you ♪

♪ I'm your party for two ♪

♪ And from then on ♪

♪ You will never mind ♪

♪ If i make love to you ♪

♪ Mind if i ♪

♪ Make love ♪

♪ To you? ♫

Oh, Tracy, Tracy.

Darling, you're lit from within.

Bright. So bright.

I don't seem to you made of bronze, then?

No, you're made of flesh and blood.

It's the blank, unholy surprise of it all.

Oh, keep talking.

All of a sudden, I've got the shakes.

Yeah, me, too.

What is it?

It couldn't be love, could it?

No, no, no. It mustn't.

Why? Would it be inconvenient?

Terribly.

Oh, Tracy.

You're tremendous.

It's funny because i feel very small.

Put me in your pocket, Mike.

Oh, golly.

Holy Moses.

We're out of our minds.

And into our hearts, though.

What are we going to do?

I don't know about you

but i'm going to go into the water.

[water splashes]

(Dexter) Liz, you're in love with Connor, aren't you?

Hmm. People ask the darnedest questions.

Why don't you marry him?

I didn't hear you.

I'm going to bed.

Thank you, Mr. C.K. Dexter-Haven.

I said, why don't you marry him?

I think he's still got a lot to learn.

I don't want to get in his way for a while.

Suppose some other dame comes along in the meantime?

I guess i'd just scratch her eyes out.

That is, unless she were marrying

someone else the next day.

You're quite a gal, Liz.

Oh, I don't know.

I take nice pictures, though. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

(Mac) 'Oh, it's you, Mr. Haven.'

Hey, Mac.

Well, there's so much loot for the wedding

I've been checking every hour.

I won't take anything.

I'm not getting married this time, you know?

(Mac) 'I wish it were, sir. Goodnight.'

Goodnight.

(George) 'Is that you, Haven?'

Huh? Oh, yeah.

- 'What are you doing here?' - I, uh, just brought Liz home.

Why?

I still haven't found Tracy.

Well, she's asleep, I should say.

She's getting married tomorrow, you know?

Don't be funny.

I telephoned her. Her phone didn't answer.

You know, when we were married

that phone would ring like a fire alarm

and she'd never bat an eye.

She's a very remarkable girl in a lot of respects. I recall--

I prefer not to discuss Tracy with you

if you don't mind.

[woman vocalizing in distance]

My dear fellow, you've got

a very big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Now, why don't you let me walk you to the gatehouse?

That sounds like Tracy.

No, no, that's, that's the night watchman.

It's a woman's voice.

Well, he's-he's a lyric tenor, you see?

♪ I give to you ♪

♪ And you give to me ♪

(Mike) That's right.

♪ True love ♪

George, honestly, I think you ought to go.

(Mike) 'Beautiful.'

♪ So on and on ♪

Okay, but you're never gonna understand.

♪ Wwill always be ♪

That's nice.

That's nice.

♪ True love ♪

Okay.

♪ I give to you ♪

♪ And you give to me ♪

You can sing for me anytime, Tracy.

- You sing beautifully. - Take me upstairs, Mike.

- Tracy! - Oops.

Oh, hello, Georgie-porgie.

She sprained her ankle, huh?

- Nah-uh. - Oh.

Not wounded, sire, but dead.

She insisted upon diving into the pool.

When she hit the water, the wine hit her.

You expect me to believe that, Connor?

I don't give a--

(Dexter) 'It's right at the top of the stairs here.'

'Second door from the right.'

(Tracy) There are fairies at the bottom of my garden

all ringing little bells.

- Congratulations. - Ding-dong, ding-dong.

You'll wake Caroline. Shh!

[door closes]

Now, George, I wouldn't go

jumping to conclusions if i were you.

This isn't all that meets the eye here.

Tracy, of all people.

Yes, Tracy, of all people.

But you don't believe..

I mean, well, the implications

you know, they're not exactly what they seem.

Oh, I suppose you think it's all quite innocent.

Oh, I'm sure the intention was innocent.

I see you don't know women as well as i thought you did.

How could she do this to me?

Oh, George, in the morning

Tracy won't remember a thing that happened tonight.

I think you oughta forget about it, too.

Oh, you and your sophisticated ideas.

It all comes from having things too easy all your life.

Oh, yes. It's terrible, isn't it?

Say, if you fellas will listen to me--

You filthy..

I'm sorry, old boy

but she isn't your wife yet

and she was mine, you know?

[grunts]

Ah, you okay, Connor?

I thought i better hit you before he did.

He's in much better shape than i am.

You'll do.

Say, pal, just what did happen here tonight, huh?

Well, she, I, uh..

[engine revving]

Well, I guess we're really gonna have a wedding after all.

For a while last night, it seemed to be touch and go.

Shouldn't you be out front taking pictures of the guests

as they arrive?

Hmm. Am i in your way?

I haven't noticed.

Look, Mike, if i ever am in your way

don't honk, just run over me.

You're quite a girl, Liz.

You know, that's the second time in the last 24 hours

that some man has said that to me.

I guess, I must be getting either booky, hippy, or toothy.

I'll get my brownie and go to work.

[instrumental music]

[car engine rumbles]

[birds chirping]

Shut up, you fool.

[music continues]

Good morning, sir.

Ugh, don't-don't scream

at the top of your lungs, my good man.

I had champagne last night.

Sorry, sir.

Could i get you anything, sir?

Yes. You-you might get me

a glass of that water, please

and a new head if you've got one.

What's going on here anyway?

I expected to find the police

and at least two hacked-up bodies.

- The police, sir? - Mm-hmm.

Has anything happened to Caroline?

(Mrs. Seth) 'Good morning, Willie.

- Oh-oh. Good morning, my dear. - Don't get up, dear.

Thank you, thank you.

Now, look here, what is the matter with Caroline?

She's been telephoning me since the break of dawn

urging me to get over here before the wedding.

'She's been screaming that it's a matter of life and death.'

Oh, Willie, I don't know

what's the matter with that child.

She dashed into my room early this morning

screaming that Tracy can't marry George

that-that she must marry that-that newspaperman.

You don't say! Why?

(Dexter) Yes, why? What's, what's Caroline's reason?

- Hi, Willie. Sweetheart. - Good morning, dear.

- Can i have a little jam? - Yes, dear.

I don't know. Caroline must have had a nightmare

about something she thought she saw.

Well, I'll have to keep her in her room

till after the wedding.

'It must have been a bad dream.'

Ah, it must have been a whizzer.

Uncle Willie, may i tell you something?

This morning you look like a tree full of owls.

(Willie) 'My dear boy, this is the sort of day..'

- Ooh. - '...that history teaches us..'

'...is better spent in bed.'

Hello, everybody.

Isn't it a fine day though? Is everybody fine?

That's fine.

Oh, good morning, Uncle Willie.

Where is everybody?

Do you like my dress?

Oh, yes. It's quite beautiful, my dear.

It's awfully heavy.

Oh. I can't seem to get my eyes open.

Oh, Dexter.

What are you doing here?

Caroline called me to come over.

I believe she's been telephoning

everybody in the county.

Well, now, go home. Now, do..

No, no. Not till we get those eyes open.

And how do you feel otherwise?

Oh, I don't know what's the matter with me.

I-I--

I don't seem to remember last night at all.

I must have had too much sun yesterday.

Oh, yes, the sun will do it every time.

Well, you left the party early and came right home to bed.

I did? Thank you.

It's nice to have things accounted for.

Only i wonder what this might be.

Well, it appears to me to be a gentleman's wrist watch.

But whose? I nearly stepped on it.

- Getting out of bed? - Yes. Why?

Oh, nothing.

And there's another mystery, Uncle Willie.

I think i was robbed at your house last night.

- Oh, really? - Yes.

My engagement ring, and-and earrings

and-and bracelets are missing everywhere.

Somebody's house guests from New York, no doubt.

Well, who's here from New York?

I have a few little baubles here.

Might be the items you seek.

Where did you find them?

Don't tell me you don't remember?

Did i give them to you?

No, I just stumbled across them.

Say, look, Sam, if you're gonna drink a lot of champagne

you ought to take a swim.

Nothing like a swim, you know, to open the eyes.

'Ah-ha. Now they're open!

Uncle Willie, what do you say you and i slip into the pantry

and have a little toddy for the body, huh?

Medicinal.

Say, uh, if it gets dull around here

have Caroline tell you about her dream.

Oh, it's a dilly.

[instrumental music]

[clattering]

Mike) 'Morning.'

You, uh, you alright?

Me? Of course. Why shouldn't i be?

You put away a gang of wine last night.

I had a simply wonderful evening.

I-I hope you enjoyed it, too.

Oh, yes, I sure did. Indeed, I did.

Especially the last part of it.

Why, uh, especially the last?

You're asking me?

Oh, you mean the swim.

We, we did swim an-and so forth, didn't we?

Yeah, we swam and so forth.

Oh, what can i say, darling?

Not anything.

Don't say anything, and especially not "darling."

You mean, you're going through with it, the wedding?

Why shouldn't i?

No regrets about last night?

Why-why should I have?

That's the stuff, Tracy.

Oh, you're wonderful.

No, Mike. You don't know what i mean.

I-I'm asking you, straight out.

Tell me the reason why i shouldn't have.

No, don't.

Just tell me what time it is.

I-I'd love to, but i seem to have lost my watch.

Oh.

You don't know how extremely sorry i am

to hear you say that.

Oh, there it is.

I ought to give you a reward. Where did you find it?

Just say i-i stumbled over it.

(Dexter) Hey, Mike.

How are you this bright and festive morning?

- That for me? -"No, it's for Tracy.

'You like one?'

You know how I feel about my grandmother

but i'd sell her for a drink.

Well, Uncle Willie's in the pantry there

doing weird and wonderful things with various healing waters.

Tell him you'd like one of the same.

Can i ask for two?

You can keep going until you run out of grandmothers.

I'll be drinking a long time.

- Doctor's orders, Sam. - What is it?

Oh. Just the juice of a few fresh flowers.

Called a stinger. Removes the sting.

Oh, don't say that.

Why not?

Nothing can. Nothing ever will.

Oh, Dexter

I've done the most terrible thing to you.

Oh, I doubt that.

I doubt that very much.

I've always been so hard on people

who weren't perfect at..

Oh, what am i going to do?

Well, why to me, darling?

Gee, I don't see where i figure in this anymore.

Aren't you confusing me with a fellow

named George Kittredge or something?

George! I've got to tell him!

He knows. He was here, too.

Oh good grief! Why didn't you sell tickets?

You'd better finish your drink.

What did G-George say last night?

Well, he was, he was a little shaken

but i guess he'll rally.

Oh, I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.

Oh, now, come on.

That's not even good conversation, Tracy.

Say, uh, how did you like my wedding present?

I'm not used to having my gifts go unacknowledged.

Oh, it was beautiful and sweet.

Yeah, she was quite a boat, the "True Love."

Was and is.

Boy, she was yare.

But i wasn't, was i?

Oh, no, you were, you were very good at the bright-work.

Gee, I can still see you in the mornings

out there on the deck, down on your knees

with your little cake of polish.

I made her shine. Where is she now?

Oh, she's in the yards, it's being gone over.

I thought i'd sell her to this fellow

Rufe Watrous, over at Oyster Bay.

- For money? - Why not?

To that fat old rumpot?

I'm going to design another.

Thought i'd call it the "True Love 2."

What do you think?

I'll tell you what you can call it.

"The Easy Virtue."

Oh, now, come on, Sam.

I won't have you thinking such things about yourself.

- Now, cut it out. - Well, it's true.

Well, a little slip now and then is good for people

especially if they learn something.

[Tracy sniffles]

Oh, I don't know anything anymore.

Now, that sounds hopeful. That's just fine.

[sniffles]

Well, there's one consoling thought, Dexter.

You're well rid of me.

Oh, no, no. Nobody can say that but me.

I hope we're not interrupting anything

uh, as if we didn't know we were.

Tracy, listen, I think

we're gonna resign from "SPY" magazine.

We're not turning in the story.

We're gonna burn it to keep warm this winter.

You can have it as a wedding present.

Oh, thank you. Thank you, both.

Oh, you're dear and sweet

and I, I don't deserve your kindness.

Easy come, easy go.

Oh, but you'll stay for the wedding?

Well, uh.. Oh, here comes the groom.

Why, it's George!

Tracy, please, get rid of these people.

I want to talk to you.

There's no need for them to go.

Everybody seems to know about last night.

[camera shutter clicks]

For my private file. Just collecting expressions.

It's lovely day for a wedding.

It rained for us.

I'm not sure yet that there'll be a wedding.

'I've been up all night.'

'I cannot decide what is the best thing to do.'

[footsteps approaching]

I think i'm entitled to a full explanation

before i'm asked to make a decision.

Unfortunately, George, I have no explanation.

I-I wish for your sake, as-as well as mine, I had.

Well, you'll grant that i have the right

to be angry and very angry.

You certainly have! You certainly have!

On the very eve of your wedding!

I told you, I agree.

Better hurry up and decide, George.

Yeah, the guests are all settled.

Look, Dexter, this doesn't concern you.

Nor you.

(Tracy) 'Oh, don't go. Please stay.'

On the very eve of your wedding!

You said that.

You keep out of this. And you, too.

Mr. Kittredge..

...it might interest you to know that our so-called affair

consisted of exactly two kisses

and one rather late swim

all of which i thoroughly enjoyed

and the memory of which

I wouldn't part with for anything.

Oh, it's no use, Mike.

After which, I accompanied her to her room

deposited her on a bed

'and promptly returned to you two on the porch'

'which you will doubtless remember.'

(George) 'You mean to say'

'that was all there was to it?'

I do.

Why?

Was i so unattractive?

So distant, so forbidding or cold or something?

Well, this is fine talk, Tracy.

I'm asking a question.

You were extremely attractive, Tracy.

And as for distant and forbidding

on the contrary.

However, you were somewhat a little the worse

or the better for the wine

and there are rules about things like that.

Oh, thank you, Mike.

Oh, I think men are wonderful.

The little dears.

Well, this is a fine time to be telling me.

Why, where's the difference?

If my wonderful, beautiful

marvelous virtue is still intact

it's no thanks to me, I assure you.

It's purely by courtesy

of the gentleman from South Bend.

Local papers, please copy.

Well, since nothing really happened

perhaps we'd just better drop the whole subject.

George, I-I don't want you to marry me

because you think i'm now worthy of you.

It would have meant so much more to me

if, if you had married me because i was unworthy.

Well, a man expects his wife--

I know, to behave herself, naturally.

To behave herself naturally.

Well, what's done is done.

We can't turn back the clock.

Oh, I wished I'd have said that.

(George) You're at liberty to leave at any time.

I don't relish having you at my wedding.

Is there going to be a wedding, George?

Yes, Tracy.

In spite of the circumstances

I guess i'm big enough to overlook

a single indiscretion.

No, you're..

You're too good for me, George.

- I couldn't bear a perfect man.

I-I'd make you most unhappy.

Most.

I-I know i'd try my best to..

[chuckles] Yes. She would, too.

Alright.

If that's the way you feel, that's that.

I have never begged in my life.

I've got a feeling that you had

more to do with this than anyone.

I hope you're right.

You and your whole rotten class!

- Oh, class my-- - Grandmother.

[band music]

Well, there goes George.

["Wedding March” instrumental]

Oh, my sainted aunt!

The wedding's started! What am i going to do?

You'll say a few words. Come on.

Put your hat on.

Put it on, put it on. Put your hat on.

You'll think of something. You're gonna look lovely.

Open that door.

What am i gonna do? What will i say?

Alright, dear, we know what's happened.

Your father's going to make a very simple announcement.

Anything special you want me to say?

Oh, thank you.

No. I got myself into it. I'm gonna get myself out.

As you wish.

[sighing]

Go, go.

[music continues]

Hello, everybody.

I just want to say that..

Oh, will you stop that racket, please?

Thank you.

Good morning.

- Good morning, dear. - I.

I-I'd like to say..

Well, there's been a little hitch.

Um, I've made a terrible fool of myself

which isn't at all unusual.

And, well, my fiancé that was

well, that is, he thinks we ought to call it a day

and i quite agree with him.

And.. Oh, Dexter, help me please.

Tell them two years ago

I did you out of a wedding in this house

by eloping to Maryland.

Two years ago, I did you out of a wedding

in this house by eloping to Maryland.

And i hope to make it up to you now

by going through with it as originally planned.

But i hope to make it up now

by going through with it..

...as originally

and most beautifully planned.

So if you'll just keep your seats for a moment.

So if you'll just keep your lovely seats for a moment.

- That's all. - That's all.

Oh, Dexter, you're sure?

No, but i'll risk it if you will.

You're not just doing it to save my face?

Oh, but it's such a nice old face.

Come on, Dexter. We've no time to lose.

Okay. See you in a minute.

Oh, father, I'm so glad you came back.

I, I'm glad you're here.

Thank you, Tracy.

And i'm sorry, I'm truly sorry

I've been a disappointment to you.

I never said that, darling, and i never will.

(Tracy) 'l love you, father.'

And i love you, my daughter.

Help me off the pedestal.

Watch out for that first step.

It's quite a tumble.

["Wedding March” instrumental]

It's a pretty contagious idea, isn't it?

[chuckles]

Well, I must confess, I'm not exactly immune.

Liz, I know i'm not destiny's dream man..

...but i thought maybe..

Oh, Mike

I think i better grab you before somebody else does.

You're liable to get in trouble one of these days.

Come on, we'll develop this later.

[music continues]

[upbeat jazz music]

[groans]

[music continues]

End of story.

[instrumental music]

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