Original subtitles

Miss Earhart, before you embark on your historic flight, what do you have to say

to the millions of American women who look up to you as a role model?

Don't let anyone or anything get in the way of your dreams.

Be courageous.

Be fearless.

Be... I can't stand it. These goggles are, like, mega tight. Get them off!

Cut. Where is my assistant?

Look, she has a goggle assistant.

He's different from the... Ooh, there's a bee on me, assistant.

You shouldn't be wearing these. It doesn't make sense. I mean, I'm not

underwater or anything.

You're absolutely right. Although historically, Amelia Earhart did wear

when she flew.

Yeah? Well, look what happened to her.

I'm not wearing these. They're going to give me raccoon eyes and wrinkles.

You don't need them.

I hate this. This morning she asked if she really had to crash.

She thought Amelia should go on to become a Spice Girl.

This script doesn't make any sense. I mean, Amelia Earhart was 40 years old

she made this flight.

You know something? You're right.

If Amelia Earhart was 40, she should look 40. Yeah.

You are perfect.

Of course I am.

And why shouldn't I be? I'm 40.

Times the actress Lacey is.

Let's get you over to makeup.

Oh, this is a classic Hollywood story.

Years from now, I'll tell it on Letterman and Paul Schaefer will laugh

because... Well, he laughed at everything.

Lacey, we're going to have to make some changes.

This is what Amelia Earhart looks like.

So I want you to make up Lacey to look just like her.

There's not enough latex in the world to make me look that old.

That's it, I quit.

So you better make her up to look like my ass.

Because that's all you're going to see is it walks out the door.

And good luck finding another 40 -something blonde in this town, buddy.

Damn, I should have shut up after ass.

Loving one who loves you.

And then taking that bus.

Nice work if you can get it. And if you get it.

My director was such a jerk.

I'm so sick of being the victim of sexism and ageism.

Yeah, well, that's what happens when you get older.

I'm sorry, but I'm losing my hair and I have to wear this peach vest every day.

It's hard to be sensitive.

Yeah, well, I was once a skating squash at the Veg Capay, so boo!

All clean -shaven? You look just like... a defendant. What have you done?

Nothing. I had an interview for a job as a reporter for an environmental

newsletter. So I just shaved me on a haircut.

You look so handsome.

All that face.

I paid off, too, because they offered me the job.

That's terrific.

Yeah, but I'm not sure if I want to take it, though.

See, it's a great job, but it's in San Francisco.

How do I tell Mom?

Be... Tell her in front of Kmart, then duck inside.

Trust me, no way will she follow you.

You know how hard she took it the last time I left home.

And ever since she broke up with Richard, she's been really clinging to

I'm afraid if I move away again, she'll feel deserted.

The Kmart that works best for me is the one in Burbank.

No, I'm going to tell her today.

Here. Justin!

Don't worry, darling. I'll get you the best lawyer money can be.

Mom, I'm not in trouble.

But I do need to talk to you about something very important.

All right, you caught me. I'm wearing fur. I'm sorry, darling. I tried to

but it's just so hard.

She wore the patch. She chewed the gum.

I just thought I should warn you, your ex -fiancé just walked through the door

with a beautiful woman on his arm.

I can read lips, so point everyone toward the bar.

Are you going to be okay?

Never better.

Hi. Hi.

Marianne, it is so good to see you. How have you been?

Never better.

That's great.

Oh, forgive me. This is Maria Wallum.

This is Sybil. Hi. And Justin.

Hi. And Mary Ann. Hello.

I'm always glad to meet Richard's friends. Never better.

You're looking well, Sybil. How's the career going?

Great. Today I was once again the target of Hollywood's irrational fear and

hatred of women aging.

And you.

Justin.

How are you doing?

I'm, uh...

Better than her and not as good as her.

Well, gee, it's just really nice to talk to you all again and see how everyone's

doing. Better never.

Bye. Bye.

He seemed awfully nervous, didn't he?

But I was a rock. I didn't say too little.

I didn't say too much.

You're right.

One word would have been too little, and three words would have been too much.

You know, I just realized something.

I hate this restaurant.

I'm in the mood for French. What is that place that you're always raving about?

Jacques in the Box.

You know what this means?

Yeah, I shouldn't bring up the San Francisco thing right now.

No, it means curly fries!

Zoe, stop apologizing. I don't mind giving you a lift. It's okay.

You needed a ride, and I needed a laugh.

I should have just canceled the job.

No way.

That little girl was expecting Barbie to play piano at her birthday party. You

couldn't disappoint her.

Well, yeah, but how much longer can I keep this up? This is the third time my

car's broken down this month.

So, why don't you let Daddy buy you a new Malibu dream car?

No, Dad, it's really important to me that I support myself.

I mean, for the first time in my life, I'm finally paying my own way.

Well, except for food, clothes, shelter.

Hey, I'm sorry, but everything I make goes for fire insurance and this wig.

Look, if you need extra money, I happen to know of a bookstore that's looking

for part -time help.

Please, a sales job?

Dad, I'm a serious musician.

Part -time, you say?

Hey. Hi.

Zoe, I know it's trendy, but you're already a girl. You don't have to dress

drag.

You're dressed up like Barbie again, who, I might add, hasn't aged in 40

And you want to know why? I'll tell you why.

Because we don't value age and experience in our society. We value

hair.

Mommy was once again a victim of ageism today.

Yeah, and I'm fed up, see?

It's a crime that it's not okay for a woman to look a day over 23.

And we can't blame the young people.

Oh, no!

They aren't the ones with the power to put teenagers on the cover of every

magazine.

It's the people in charge, see?

The older generation.

Me? What about her?

She's old, too.

Yes, but I'm rich. That makes me better.

Okay, I admit it. I'm responsible for centuries of injustice.

I'd better go to my room and think about what I've done.

Mom, if you have a minute, can I talk to you alone?

Hey, that's a good idea. Why don't you two talk, and I'll explain to Zoe how

she's being exploited by our youth -crazy culture.

And I'll just stick my hand down the garbage disposal to distract me from the

pain.

So seeing Richard again really threw you, didn't it?

Oh, well, I always felt bad we never talked things out, but today wasn't the

right time.

You know, I actually thought his new friend was very charming and didn't look

all like a truck stop trollop.

Now, what's on your mind?

There's this organization called Earthwatch.

Well, they offered me a job writing for their newsletter in San Francisco and...

Justin, I'm so happy for you.

Really? Of course. Of course, that sounds like a wonderful opportunity.

Thanks, Mom.

This will make it so much easier if I decide to take the job.

I'm going to go for a walk. I've got some thinking to do. Yes, go.

Walk. Think.

Oh, that's going to leave a mark.

So why shouldn't there be Ruth Bader Ginsburg dolls?

Or Janet Reno dolls.

Why should millions of American girls have to aspire to this impossible ideal

looking like Barbie?

Mother, what do you think? I looked at my wardrobe today and said, oh, I think

I'll wear that hot pink skin -tight floozy suit. That'll set women back a

hundred years.

I'm sorry, Zoe. I'm really thrilled you're pursuing your music. It's just

that... Costume really pushes my buttons, makes me want to kick some

butt.

Not your Barbie butt.

It's just a costume. It's for a job.

Excuse me, but you've played hookers on TV.

They were not hookers.

They were professional intimacy consultants.

Am I interrupting something?

No.

Sybil, I am so proud of Justin.

He's been offered a wonderful job in San Francisco.

Now go and talk him out of it and make it seem like it's your idea.

Marianne, I'm not getting in the middle of that.

I know how terrified you are at the thought of Justin moving away, but you

have to accept it.

I can't.

Sure you can.

Remember how distraught you were when you found out polyester was coming back?

And now who's the bigger fan of the Wonder Knits than you?

Well, they're so versatile in those colors.

Don't trick me with fabrics. We're talking about my son.

Yes, we are talking about him when you should be talking to him.

You and Justin need family counseling.

Oh, no, not this again.

I'm not going to let them shrink delve into my psyche just so that everyone can

find out I'm insane.

Mary Ann, we've been through this before.

You are not insane.

Well, you're not a threat to yourself or society.

Well, not to yourself.

Trust me, therapy works.

This could do wonders for your relationship with Justin.

You did tell him about this, right?

Of course I did.

I know you think I avoid confrontation at all costs, but I was very direct in

notes.

You wrote him a note?

Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to admit that we have issues

about his leaving and then to suggest that we need help?

I don't really need help.

I mean, just because I'm here doesn't mean I'm insane.

I mean, you're here, and I don't think you're insane.

Well, that blouse with that skirt.

Then we don't even know if Jackson's going to show up.

Well, if he doesn't, it's because you insisted on dragging us into therapy,

he couldn't take the pressure, and he ran away again.

No, he didn't. How do you know? Because I've had tons more therapy than you, and

I just know.

Marianne Thorpe?

You gave her my real name?

If you're going in there with me, maybe she has one of those phone baths I can

hit you with.

A lamp.

Mom.

Richard, what are you doing here?

I asked him to come.

You what?

I thought you two could use this session to talk things out.

Justin, that's a terrible idea.

This was supposed to be between just you and your mother.

Maybe I should leave.

No.

I see no reason why we can't discuss what happened between us and why you

thought solace in the arms of another woman instead of taking your own life

a real man would have.

Folks, this could take a while. You might want to catch a movie.

That was so unfair what you just did to your mother.

What? It was the best thing for her. Just let it go, okay? Hey!

Justin, that was manipulative and deceptive and controlling. And it

No, it didn't. It just got you off the hook so you didn't have to deal with

mother. You should have asked her if you could bring Richard. The least you

could have done is told me.

What? Since when do I have to run everything by you?

You're only... 23 years old, you don't know everything about relationships.

You haven't even been divorced yet.

Okay, here we go.

Older equals better, right?

Look, I really don't feel like hearing this one again.

Okay.

Here's a new one.

You want your mother and Richard back together to make it easier on you when

pack up and leave.

Again.

Wow. You know, maybe I will take that job in San Francisco because suddenly I

don't feel so welcome around here. Justin! No, you know what?

Thank you for your wisdom and experience.

I'll be out of your house by the end of the week.

Oh, so now it's my fault you're moving away. Nice try.

Nobody's going to believe that.

Except your mother.

Thanks

for coming,

Seb. I would have waited for Zoe to fill out a job application, but I'm late for

a meeting with my publisher.

Oh, I don't mind giving her a ride home.

Great.

Ira, wait a minute, though. I have a problem, and I need to talk it out.

Well, lucky for you, you're in the self -help section.

Do you think they have a book called Justin's Moving to San Francisco and

Marianne's Going to Kill Me?

I doubt it, but I think I saw one titled We're Not Married So I Don't Have to

Listen to This.

I didn't read that, but I did read Stop Complaining Already because this is

going to take a whole lot longer if you keep interrupting.

Marianne is a level -headed, mature woman who will instantly see that

leaving is not a crisis, but a new plateau in their relationship.

You really know the perfect time for a good joke.

I thought you'd like that. You want to hear the one about Zoe supporting us in

our old age?

Oh, it hurts. Get out of here. You're killing me.

Hi, honey.

Did you fill out the job application?

No, I'm having second thought.

I mean, a performer has to stay hungry, right?

What if this part -time job becomes full -time? Before you know it, I'll be a

manager with a health plan, married to some truck driver who glues our cat to a

skateboard so we can get on America's Funniest Home Videos.

See? It's a job with a future.

Turk, I gotta go.

Can I help you?

Could I have an application for the part -time job, please?

Um... You know, I think that position's already been filled.

Maybe you can leave your name and number and we'll call you. Well, it's not for

me. It's for my daughter.

Oh.

Oh.

You were talking about the part -time job.

Oh, bring that. Let me just get you an application.

I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.

I know what you were thinking.

No, mother. This is my turn.

You weren't going to hire this perfectly intelligent, capable woman because she

doesn't conform to your ageist notion that youth equals vitality.

Well, let me tell you something. Not only could she out -clerk you, but she

wouldn't have spent the last 20 minutes on the phone with her boyfriend.

She doesn't have a boyfriend.

Come on, Grandma. We're out of here.

Joey, I'm so proud of you. Let's go over to Burger Buddy. I hear their manager's

14. Maybe we can make him cry.

Well, I must say, therapy was a little uncomfortable at first.

But then I realized I could spend the whole hour talking about me.

I was riveted.

And Richard was so sensitive, he only spoke once or twice.

And when he did, it was all about me, too.

We have decided to see each other again as long as marriage is not an issue

right now.

Marianne, I'm so happy for you. Of course you are, darling.

That's why you're buttering your napkin.

So, you buttered your pool boy once and I didn't say anything.

Sybil, I sense that you're withholding something.

The secrets are roadblocks on the path to intimacy.

Now, I want you to tell me what's going on inside of you. And remember, fine is

not a feeling.

Stop that. It's annoying.

Sybil?

Okay. Justin and I had a fight, and now he's using that as an excuse to move

away. I know all about your fight, and he's not moving.

He's not?

You mean I wasted his perfectly good butter for nothing?

It turns out they want him to stay in L .A., and he'll fly to San Francisco

twice a month. Isn't that wonderful?

Yes, but Marianne, you and Justin still haven't resolved anything.

You just avoided confronting each other.

Well, all I know is he's not moving, so you were right.

Therapy works.

Marianne, you don't help anyone by avoiding the truth.

So what do you think?

My therapist said it would do wonders for my self -esteem.

Well, sometimes therapy works.

Sometimes it's just money down a hole.

Okay, so I'm sorry about what I said.

I should have known that it was only because you care that you felt you had

right to say all those really condescending things.

Would you like to respond?

Oh, yeah.

Thank you, Justin.

I accept your apology.

And I realize that you had your mother's best interest at heart when you acted

so inappropriately.

Thank you.

You know, next time I think we'll explore passive -aggressive behavior.

I sense that in him, too.

And maybe we can also talk about the fact that I apologized to Sybil, yet she

didn't apologize to me, which is clearly some sort of territorial one

-upsmanship. And then we can discuss how a 23 -year -old can act so blatantly

disrespectful to his mother's best friend.

You see, there's that age thing again. I'm afraid our time is up.

I don't think so.

I don't want to know how I can sneak downstairs at two in the morning and

my turkey, turkey ice cream.

And I'd like to know how you could use my Bertha Graywell videotape to record

three hours of the Food Channel.

Please, please, I'm locked in. Okay,

okay, okay, okay, okay.

Truce.

Truce.