Original subtitles

Do you mind?

I'm thinking.

Well, think about this.

Art's classic potato chips. For snacking fun, just add you.

Whoa, excellent chip.

Hey, go get your own.

I'm going over by the Last Supper. They've already eaten.

art's chips every chip a masterpiece loving one who

loves you and them taking that bow nice work if you can get it and if you

get it won't you tell

forcing people to torture me like this?

Hey, they wanted to.

Right?

Marianne?

Congratulations, Zoe. I loved being 16.

She's 18.

18's the worst.

Happy Zoe's birthday, Kev.

So they dragged you over here too, huh?

No, I don't mind. I don't sleep anymore.

I just lie in bed mourning my lost job, surveying the twisted wreckage of my

life. Uh -huh. Is there coffee?

Yes. It'll be soup of the day's bitter disappointment. Could you hang this?

Hello, Marianne. Aren't you a little overdressed for breakfast?

I came straight from a party at Geraldo Rivera's.

I didn't know you knew him.

I don't. He was on his course begging people to come in.

Uh,

could you help me here?

Oh, it's awkward.

Except for your hand on my ass, I don't know where our relationship is.

Or if we even have one.

Ivor, there is nothing wrong with our relationship.

Sure, we can only make love on the phone. That's not so weird.

I knew a woman who could only make love eating lo mein out of a hat.

Maybe we're putting too much emphasis on consummating our relationship.

Out of a hat?

Look, I think it's important that we spend some time exploring each other's

interests. All right, get back on the ladder.

Okay, after breakfast, we're going to look at a video of your very first

birthday. Your father's got a perm. He looks like the forgotten Bee Gees.

Happy birthday, baby. Oh, Daddy, come on. Help me. They're forcing me to have

fun. Make it stop.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

No, come on. You're not going to make me bat at some donkey filled with steel

candy. Come on. Actually, Zoe, this year we filled it with money. Oh, my God.

the mysteries of Indonesian cooking.

What's so mysterious?

You eat raw meat and pour pepper down your throat.

Whistle your way to inner peace.

I already know how to do that.

Martini!

You know, this is going to be so great.

After Zoe moves out, I'll have time to take all the courses I want.

She won't be there to tell me how stupid they are.

She won't be there to mock my homework.

She won't be there to... She won't be there.

I'm confused. Are we sad about this or happy? We're both.

We're sappy.

Come on, let's find a class.

If Ira and I are going to share interests, I better get some. Well, you

find a class on Ira, because that's his only real interest.

Look, a sculpting class.

Sybil, darling, sculpting requires artistic talent.

Hey, I have artistic talent.

Look.

What is it?

I don't know, but I'm going to smear it on my butt and apply for a grant from

the NEA.

Hi.

Hey, ladies.

Why don't you just find an empty place? We'll get started in a minute or two.

Darling, try some lipstick or mascara.

Anything to draw attention away from the fact that you haven't a body.

That's my mother.

I made it from a plaster mold of her face.

Oh, beautiful.

When I was a Girl Scout, I made a portrait of my mother out of macaroni

But I left it outside on the back porch and some red ants carried off her mouth.

We'll take our seats back now.

Shame on you.

Sucking up to the teacher and his ugly mother's bust.

I was not sucking up. I really like it.

Hey, I wonder if he'd do one of Rachel, Zoe, and me to commemorate my rite of

passage as my last baby leaves the nest.

When my son left the nest, I commemorated my rite of passage by

into a shoe closet.

Well, that was nice, too.

Welcome, everyone. Why don't we all just start to get a feel for the clay while

our life model gets ready, okay?

I'm beginning to feel my creative juices flowing.

Show some respect, Marianne. It's always naked. That's what models in art class

do.

Wowie!

What?

Miss Sheridan?

Is that you?

Is it me? Who?

It's me, Ricky Sabludowsky. I went to summer camp with Rachel.

You were always really, really nice to me.

Is there something you forgot to tell me, Mrs. Robinson?

So how is Rachel?

She's naked.

Married.

She's married.

Hey, remember the time you caught us behind the garage?

I was so embarrassed.

Yeah, well, you're not embarrassed anymore.

Sorry, not one bit.

Well, if I'm going to sculpt you, I'm going to need more penis.

What? What?

Rachel, I've made an important discovery. If I fold these shirts in

lengthwise, you know, rather than doing a trifold, I only have to fold them once

horizontally, saving me two whole steps.

Three, if it's a long -sleeve shirt.

Stop talking about laundry.

You have no job, Kevin.

We have no future. What are we going to do?

Hi, Zoe.

So why are you guys doing laundry over here? Are you broke?

No, our dryer's broken. Our washer's broken.

Hmm.

I'm not sure I believe you.

Oh, look who's here.

How'd you get in here without your wings, you little angel?

Oh, my gosh.

So, what's going on, y 'all? Well, Kevin's emasculation continues and

slides closer to the abyss.

That's the news. I'm Zoe Woodbine. Good night.

Our misfortune may be fodder for your post -adolescent mockery, but let me

remind you.

William, did you teach your daddy how to do that? I bet you did.

Oh, Rachel, I ran into an old friend of yours, Ricky Zabludowsky. That scrawny

runt? That scrawny runt sends you his best, which is pretty damn good.

Oh, you know what? My sculpture class is tomorrow. It's in your neighborhood.

How about I stop by your house?

Um, tomorrow's no good.

We're sick. We're fumigating. Well, we're sick of the fumes.

We've got to go. Bye.

Bye, Mom.

Thanks for letting us do our laundry, Mom.

We're weirder than usual, Mom.

Hey, Sib, Zoe ready for the movies?

Zoe!

Your father's here!

So, uh, Marianne tells me you're taking a sculpture class. How was it?

Long, but not hard.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Great news. I can't go with you.

Nina just called, and we got the place in Venice Beach. I'll be moving out on

Friday. This Friday?

I don't know if that's good for me.

How about 1998?

Venice Beach? What, nothing's available in Bosnia?

Yeah, Zoe, Venice is dangerous. The crime rate is through the roof, people

drugs in front of you, and they have problems with gangs.

Don't worry about gangs. I'll get in one. I know people.

Very funny, but it's not helping your case any, Missy.

There is no case.

Where I choose to live is my own decision, besides you guys both had

in New York City when you were my age. Well, when I was your age, I was older

and taller, and taller's important, especially in New York City where things

tall. So there's the rule. New York City tall, Venice Beach not for you.

I'm done.

My situation was completely different.

I had to get out. My mother was smothering and overbearing.

Thanks, Zora.

Besides, I was a guy.

Are you saying if Zoe was a guy, it'd be okay for her to move to Venice?

That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm not going to allow my daughter to move

someplace I don't approve of. You're not going to allow?

Haven't you heard that women aren't property?

Zoe has the right to move anywhere she wants to, and I, for one, am proud of

her. Proud enough to buy me a refrigerator?

Absolutely. Thanks, Mom. You're the greatest.

You're paying for half.

Oh, yes, you are.

So, this is one of your interests?

I'm interested.

Relax, Ira.

Concentrate on the exquisite drape of Jerome's design.

And stop moving.

It's not a disco.

Call me crazy, but I can't stand still when there are pins near my crotch.

So, Ira, what do you think?

It's just a different look for me.

Oh, Ira, you are the main course on a big plate of now.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm the catch of the day.

I'm the house blend.

I feel confident. I feel smooth.

I can go anywhere. I can do anything.

Wait.

There's no fly.

Okay. Now, it's really simple.

I lay these plaster strips across your faces.

Only little straws help you breathe. Couldn't you have come up with something

little more hip, like painting us on black velvet with big sad eyes?

Mom, when you said, let's get plastered, I thought we were going out for

margaritas.

Listen, y 'all, we are going to have some warm damn memories, and we are

to have them now!

We're ready.

So?

Who wants to go first?

She does.

The man crawled into the hole that was the city, pulling his pain and anger

him like a sewer cap.

Marianne.

You're humming.

Really?

That's odd.

In my head, I'm screaming.

There's no reason to get up anymore. The end.

Yes!

You didn't like it, did you? Well, the first hour was a bit slow.

You only read for 20 minutes.

So, Ira, I'm sorry.

This is one of your interests, and I am interested.

So, tell me, why is this writer a genius?

Well, for me, it's the way he captures the fundamental hopelessness of human

existence in the late 20th century.

And how he balances his essential nihilism with a singularly mordant wit.

Marianne?

Huh?

Where are you?

Bergdorf's third floor.

Near the elevator.

How much longer are we going to have to stay covered in this slop?

You'll appreciate this when I'm dead.

Don't move your face too much. It'll ruin the mask.

Stop complaining, Rachel. Think about the new refrigerator that Mom's buying

you. Oh, wait. That's me.

You're getting Zoe a new refrigerator?

When I moved out, all I got was a salad spinner.

No. More.

Fucking!

Can't you feel the plaster is hardening?

Do you eat this mistake of yours?

Not true. She tried to blow you away with her beard, mister. She tried to

you away.

No, if I can move her hair out, I'll be looking at you real hard.

I don't want you.

I don't want you.

This is nice.

Eating dinner. Yes.

Good restaurant.

Great butter.

And this is a bottomless basket of bread, you know.

What a great day this has been.

I know.

I haven't had this much fun since Dr. Dick burned his lips on that coffee I

accidentally left in the microwave for 17 minutes.

Nice suit.

Oh, by the way, Rwanda called. They want their flag back.

I can't believe I let you talk me into wearing this in public.

Oh, don't start with me. I felt so trapped at that reading, I almost chewed

leg off.

Let's face it, Miriam.

This relationship's never going to work.

I know.

We have absolutely nothing in common, except Sybil. Sybil.

Our relationship is sort of like flan.

It looks good on the menu, but when you get it, it just quivers on your plate

and makes you sick.

I know what you mean.

Flan's no fun once you get past that crunchy, crackly shell on top.

Ira, that's creme brulee.

Well, never like that.

So that's it?

Just friends?

Just friends.

No hard feelings?

Oh, no. None at all.

Oh, Ira, when I speak of this, and I will, I dumped you.

Well, Mrs.

Westlock said... That's my curly iron.

Yeah, I know.

No, you don't understand. That's my curly iron.

Oh.

Of course, what was I thinking? Thank you for the curly iron.

You're welcome.

Listen, the minute you get to your new place, you call me. Or better yet, stop

on the way and call me. Or here, use my new cell phone and call me from the

kitchen right now.

Hey, listen, I'm sorry that we screwed up that math thing.

But here.

I had it blown off for you.

I remember we took it at the Santa Monica Pier, and Rachel had just found

that she was pregnant. You insisted that we go out and celebrate?

Yeah.

Yeah, you got mad at me and put a shrimp down my dress, and Rachel threw a corn

dog all over my car.

Oh, honey.

Don't make a big moment out of this, or I'm going to take a bath.

Bye, Mom. Bye.

Let me know your gang colors and I'll knit you something.

Bye, honey.

Don't forget to call me.

I love you.

You love me, too.

Bye.

There's so much history in this room.

Oh, look at these marks.

Two. This was Zoe when she was 12, and this... This is a dead bug.

Ew! Ew!

This is how tall I was when I dumped Ira.

I knew it was going to be hard.

I didn't think it'd be this hard.

They're all gone.

I'm all alone. Oh, come on, pal. You're not alone.

I'm here for you.

Me and the fuzzy bear on the floor.

That's Mr.

Fuzzy Boo.

I bought that for Zoe when she was four.

She used to take it everywhere.

I can't believe she left him behind.

Zoe's come back. I knew it.

And it's for me, not you.

Maybe she thought the real world was too big and scary and real.

Thank goodness my money insulates me from all of that.

Whoa!

Blinding self -realization calls for a daiquiri.

You're pathetic.

Make me one, too.

Mom, I have a little favor I need to ask of you. One of my babies needs me.

Whatever it is, the answer is yes.

We were kicked out of university housing when Kevin lost his job, so we've been

staying at Motel 6 for the last two weeks. Oh, no.

But this morning they cut up our credit card.

Oh, Rachel, that's horrible.

Well, you two will have to stay here till you get back on your feet.

Ah, thank you, Mother Sheridan.

I know you'll like it here, son.

Because, basically, we have no choice.

I have to tell you something else, Mom.

Lately, I've had a lot of anger towards Zoe, but now I realize I'm really not

mad at her.

Good, because I hate it when you two fight. I'm mad at you.

Actually, sibling rivalry can be very healthy.

See, I'm the first child, the one you made all the mistakes on. The one I made

all the mistakes on.

I know, Rachel, but that's not why you're upset now.

You're upset now because your family is going through a very hard time.

I know.

Things just keep getting suckier and suckier, Mom.

William is driving me batty, and poor Kevin and I have not had a chance to be

alone since, like, forever.

Tell you what.

Why don't I watch William, and you and Kevin can go out to dinner and check

a hotel, something a little more ritzy, like Motel 9?

My treat.

Kevin, honey.

Better than we thought. She's came for dinner, too.

Ah, here.

Oh, and by the way, grapes make him resentful, peanut butter makes him

and he has big trust issues with cheese.

Have a good time.

William, I want you to meet... Meet Mr. Fuzzy Boots.

William, what is happening in your drawers?

Marianne, I'll give you $50 to change them.

I'll give you $1 ,000 to hire a nanny to change them.