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... ... ... ...
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... ...
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or the sole illogical gardens, or
Cleopatra's noodle, there could surely
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00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:39,410
cat -art party.
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00:00:40,230 --> 00:00:43,730
But what a typical English sailor boy
you are, to be sure.
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00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:45,950
Splash the main brace.
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What'll it be then, Jane?
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Bitter. One bitter coming up.
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00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,010
Nine!
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00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,730
Nine bitters coming up.
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00:00:56,150 --> 00:00:59,230
Give us a kiss and show us your
knickers.
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Do what?
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00:01:02,190 --> 00:01:07,010
Being typical British service men, we
shall have a typical British drink. We
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00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:09,310
will have a swipe, two martinis.
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00:01:09,810 --> 00:01:11,210
Drive? Nein, swipe.
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I mean, no, two.
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00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:14,690
Just two martinis.
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I see we've got that big fat pig going
on a run, ain't we, eh?
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00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:19,850
Fat, fat pig.
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00:01:20,470 --> 00:01:21,590
Great fat pig.
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00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:24,650
I've got more brains than him. I'm only
half his size.
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I beg your pardon?
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00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:42,820
It's the Benny Hill Show, and here is
Benny Hill.
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00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,480
Now, I don't want you folks to
misconstrue what I'm about to say to
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going to tell you about the women in my
life.
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Now, I know some gals are real refined,
but they always seem to get the other
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kind, and maybe that's why I've never
found a wife.
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00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:05,680
Now, I used to know a gal in Cruz. She
was five foot two. She had eyes of blue
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00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,900
and... She told me that her name was
Lottie.
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00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:12,100
But I think she was funny in the head.
She used to sleep underneath the bed.
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00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,200
parents thought she was a little potty.
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00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,320
I kind of liked the way she smiled, so I
went around with her for a while, and I
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kind of thought of her as my bride -to
-be.
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00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:24,600
I said, you're the one gal in my life
I'd like to have you for my wife. She
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said, now what would your wife do with
me?
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Beware of wives within those wild...
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ยฉ BF -WATCH TV 2021
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I said, you just can't help but stare at
the cute little chick with the long
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00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:15,940
blonde hair. He said, that chick just
happens to be my son.
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00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:21,040
I said, I didn't mean to offend. You
must let me make amends. At least let me
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00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,280
buy you another rum.
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00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:26,800
I said, you must think me an awful cat.
I didn't know you was his dad. He said,
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I'm not your twit. I'm his mom.
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Nice hat, isn't it?
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00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:55,550
Got that itself produced in the
restaurant.
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the
show, and it's nice to welcome back my
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00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:04,710
friend Nicholas Parsons, and here he is
talking to the children of St.
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00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:05,990
Solomon's School.
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00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:07,870
And what are you drawing?
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00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:09,690
I'm going to do a picture.
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00:04:15,459 --> 00:04:22,460
He gave him all little girl chocolate
dollies and he
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00:04:22,460 --> 00:04:24,400
wanted boy chocolate dollies.
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00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,740
There isn't that much difference, is
there?
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00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:31,740
No, but there's that much more
chocolate.
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00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,140
He likes chocolate.
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00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:37,800
He's silly. I know he's my brother, but
he's still silly.
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00:04:38,559 --> 00:04:42,900
I sleep by myself. I'm not afraid to
sleep by myself, but he is.
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00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,020
And so is Mummy.
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00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:50,080
Yes, she is, because Mummy, when Daddy
goes away for the weekend, Mummy always
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00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,300
has to have Uncle Percy come and sleep
with her.
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00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:59,060
He's not my real uncle. What?
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00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:03,040
What did you say?
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00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:08,100
I'm not sure, but it's something about
modern permissive trends upsetting the
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00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,260
fabric of present -day society or
something like that.
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00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,400
I told you he was silly, didn't I? He
was silly.
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00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:17,260
I've nearly finished now. What's it
going to be? It's going to be a picture
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00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:23,140
God. I know nobody knows what God looks
like, but I haven't finished my picture
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00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:24,560
yet, have I? So shut up.
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00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:29,080
Come now, the two of you. All of you.
All of you. Leave.
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00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,120
It nearly does.
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00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:40,340
Well, today we're letting them paint
anything they like and... He
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00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,660
paints a lady.
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00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,060
She have no clothes on.
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00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,620
She have no dress.
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00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,380
She have no shoes.
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00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:53,260
No stockings.
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00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,340
No knickers.
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00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,000
She is a naked.
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00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,320
He is a knackered too.
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00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,480
The gentleman is very fond of the lady.
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00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:12,820
What is your name?
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00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:14,520
Rodin, monsieur.
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00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,560
Castor Rodin.
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00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:22,360
We have to draw what we want to be when
we're grown up.
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00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:28,880
She wants to be married, but she don't
know how to draw it. I do. It's all like
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00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:32,000
fighting and screaming and kicking and
shouting and having babies.
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00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:33,300
I know.
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00:06:33,950 --> 00:06:34,929
You never?
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00:06:34,930 --> 00:06:38,930
I do know, because me dad said to me, do
you want to have a little baby brother,
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00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:40,530
or would you like to have a little baby
sister?
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00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:41,830
And what did you say?
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00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:45,150
I said, if it wouldn't put me mum to too
much trouble, I'd like a pony.
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00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:50,890
He said, no, it's the stalk, and it's
going to come flying round our house.
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00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:53,550
going to fly in round and round. It's
going to fly right in the window of me
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00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:57,910
mum's bedroom there. And I said, don't
upset me mum, because she's in the
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00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:58,910
way.
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00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:02,670
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I'm going to be a boxer.
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00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,200
I know about fighting.
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00:07:04,420 --> 00:07:06,260
You can't. I know about fighting, I do.
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00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:11,200
You can't. I do. I beat Ginger Tompkins
and I locked her back on the floor at
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00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,160
the playground and she's in the big
girls.
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00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:14,620
I don't know.
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00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:18,520
My dad, he wants me to become a prime
minister, but I don't want to do that
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00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,340
because I don't want to go sailing on
the boat all the time. I should be
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00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:25,660
seasick. I should be sick on the deck
and I should be sick on the floor.
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00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,320
I should be sick on the deck.
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00:07:39,070 --> 00:07:40,070
We're trespassing, you know.
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00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:44,010
Water bailiff, he says, though, and he
don't think of his trespassers, not him,
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00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:45,610
once he caught me with me rod.
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00:07:46,010 --> 00:07:48,330
He said, you dirty, rotten, soppy clod.
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00:07:50,330 --> 00:07:52,970
He says, you're fishing. I says, no, I'm
teaching the worm to swim.
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00:07:55,190 --> 00:07:58,830
He says, I've told you twice before,
poaching salmon's against the law.
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00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:02,550
I suppose you're hoping to get one in
your neck. I says, I'm after stickleback
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00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:06,090
pike. He says, oh, what are they like? I
says, I don't know, I ain't caught one
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00:08:06,090 --> 00:08:07,090
yet.
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00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:10,160
I used to have trouble with my flies.
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00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:16,520
And then Joe here put me wise. God, he
knows all about fishing that there is to
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00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:21,080
tell. Do you know, I've known him tickle
a trout and then, like lightning, whip
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00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,080
it out.
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00:08:22,340 --> 00:08:24,180
I've known him catch a girl that way as
well.
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00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,640
Here, once we took a boat out in the
bay.
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00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,660
Forty cod we got that day.
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00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:34,580
Told you I'd find you a good place, says
Joe with pride.
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00:08:34,919 --> 00:08:36,440
Well, it's market then, says Pat.
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00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:40,169
I said, are we going to do that? He
said, easy, put a chalk mark on the
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00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:45,050
I said, that is diabolical, that's
stupid, that's illogical.
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00:08:45,370 --> 00:08:49,070
I said, mark the side with chalk, you
silly goat. I said, if we come out in
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00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:52,310
bay and fish us another day, chances are
we get a different boat.
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00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:57,170
He says,
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00:08:57,910 --> 00:09:04,130
he says, the Heskimos cuts all in the
ice, floats on some peas and waits quiet
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00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:04,999
as voice.
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00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,540
Open to catch a cod or a hake or a nice
sole.
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00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,740
He says, they wait there patiently until
the fish comes up for a pee.
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00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:18,140
He says, what then? He says, they kick
him in the eyes off.
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00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:25,140
Once he told our local barmaid how one
day he caught a mermaid.
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00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,320
He said, I got her just off Plymouth
Town.
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00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:32,080
Her bust it measured 42, her waist it
measured 22, and the rest of her was 18
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00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,080
pence a pound.
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00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:36,050
Dear, oh, no, he's a lad, isn't he?
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00:09:36,890 --> 00:09:38,670
Here, once he took out fidgety Flo.
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00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:41,370
She says, isn't that swan swimming slow?
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00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:46,050
And there's the horse, and there's the
cow, and that pig's a boar. And, oh,
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00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:48,330
at that, Joe. He says, all right, love,
I know.
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00:09:48,550 --> 00:09:50,250
She says, what do you want to go and
threaten it for?
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00:09:52,610 --> 00:09:55,110
He married her one day.
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00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:57,050
What, it was a tiddler on the way.
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00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:01,210
And he was born. We all wanted to know
the weight. He says, he weighs near
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00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:02,210
enough a pound.
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00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:05,790
So Charlie, he turns round, he says, go
on, you only just got back your bait.
150
00:10:13,290 --> 00:10:18,750
He'd be a young man today, doing his own
pop -happy way, chasing some
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00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:19,930
unattainable dream.
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00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,380
But perhaps when he's older and a bit
more wise, he'll begin to realise the
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00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,660
of just sitting by a stream.
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00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:30,800
For in a world filled with aggression
and hate and fear and depression, an
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00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,760
out here, oh, you just don't know what
it's worth.
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00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:36,700
Spend an hour with fishermen, and you'll
find peace again.
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00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:40,640
They're the most peaceful, kindly
gentlemen on earth.
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00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,219
I got one!
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00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:43,580
I got one! I got one!
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00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:46,420
down memory lane
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00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,040
And may you have many more.
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00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,880
Howdy, all you folks out there in
television land.
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00:17:07,099 --> 00:17:09,780
I come up here this time, I come over on
an airplane.
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00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:13,400
I don't know you folks remember the
first time you ever went up on an
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00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,079
Sure, it's a lot scarier, isn't it? You
know, first thing you happen, you sit
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00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,839
down, this sassy little gal come along
and she strap you in your seat.
167
00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:24,040
Then she sort of hovers over you, you
know, with that... Tight white blouse
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00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,040
to bugs.
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00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,000
She says, anything I can do for you.
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00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,140
I said, I felt a lot of good when you
hogtied there, didn't I?
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00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:36,440
And in comes other saucy little gal. Oh,
she's pushing a trolley. On that
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00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:37,920
trolley, there is everything.
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00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:39,440
There is whiskey.
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00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:40,659
There is gin.
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00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,340
There is martina.
176
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,160
There is dooboney.
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00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:48,580
Bo jolly.
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00:18:01,199 --> 00:18:03,360
You won't know who's up the front of the
airplane.
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00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,100
The driver, that's who.
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00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:10,120
And he stopped talking at you. He says,
uh, this is your captain speaking.
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00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,860
He got like a deep, rich, brown voice.
182
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,820
That sort of lulled you into a false
sense of security.
183
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:21,760
I mean, that might not be his normal
voice.
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00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:28,630
I mean, only flyer I ever knew had a
voice so high. The only people that
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00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:29,650
understand him was dolls.
186
00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:36,050
He was gay as old Paris. He used to make
his own dresses.
187
00:18:38,010 --> 00:18:42,990
And he says, I'd like to welcome you
aboard this here Boeing airplane.
188
00:18:45,150 --> 00:18:47,310
That's the right name for airplane,
isn't it? Boeing.
189
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:53,450
Not Speedy or High Flyer or something
like that. Boeing.
190
00:18:54,990 --> 00:18:56,950
You know what I sound like, don't you,
Boeing?
191
00:18:57,420 --> 00:18:59,360
That sounded like a piece just dropped
off. Boing!
192
00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:06,620
He says, we're going to be flying at 30
,000 feet.
193
00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:10,800
I said to myself, our plane is going to
be flying at 30 ,000 feet.
194
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:14,060
You get your hands on that gin bottle,
you're going to be flying at 50 ,000
195
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:15,060
feet.
196
00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:18,940
Anyway, I get over here. You know the
thing I like over here about you English
197
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:22,580
people? I like your natural health
service. I like that.
198
00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:26,240
Because you know, back home in Little
Creek, they charge you $5 just to look
199
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,240
down your throat.
200
00:19:27,310 --> 00:19:28,850
And $30 to look up your birth
certificate.
201
00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:36,870
I don't like your quarantine of people
there so much, though, because they
202
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:39,730
wouldn't let me bring my dogs in. I got
two dogs. I got two loveliest little
203
00:19:39,730 --> 00:19:41,710
dogs you've ever seen in your life. I
got a little Dachshund.
204
00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:44,710
The little Dachshund, that's like a dog
and a half long and half a dog high.
205
00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:49,310
I like him because all the kids can pat
him at the same time.
206
00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:53,630
And I feel sorry for him when we get
snow on the ground because he's got
207
00:19:53,630 --> 00:19:54,630
short legs.
208
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,860
I feel sorry for that little boy.
209
00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:58,140
Anyway,
210
00:19:58,580 --> 00:20:04,540
I absolutely feel sorry for him. We got
an Afghan. He's a high school Afghan.
211
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:11,160
My wife trained him to do his little
bits of business on the newspaper while
212
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,160
reading it.
213
00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:18,720
Anyway, wouldn't let me bring my dog, so
I brought my wife over with me.
214
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:21,140
Well, I saved Kitchener goodbye, you
know.
215
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,700
I sure as heck don't like kissing her
goodbye.
216
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:27,580
Only time I ever kiss her is when I
can't find a table napkin.
217
00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:34,240
She's over here now, and we're going to
sing at you. I don't know why you're
218
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,240
doing us no harm.
219
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:38,860
Anyway, here she is, Roundtree. I call
her Roundtree on account of her clear
220
00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:39,880
gums. Come on, gal.
221
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:41,240
It's up in the music area.
222
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,480
Come on.
223
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:49,500
Now, down on the farm, everything that
you did, it seemed so right some hell.
224
00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:53,810
Like the way you always warmed your
hands before you milked the cow.
225
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:58,250
And that old muley upped and kicked me
in the head one day.
226
00:20:58,570 --> 00:21:02,230
The tears rolled down my cheeks as I saw
the poor mule limp away.
227
00:21:02,810 --> 00:21:06,990
That day you helped a poor old lady
across the street in the snow.
228
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:08,990
Believe me, it wasn't easy.
229
00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:11,230
She didn't want to go.
230
00:21:11,650 --> 00:21:15,630
I said I didn't smoke or drink and that
necking wasn't wise.
231
00:21:16,330 --> 00:21:21,220
I said, what do you do then? And you
answered, I tell lies. But the golden
232
00:21:21,220 --> 00:21:24,140
thorns on me, they're in the long ago.
233
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:28,440
They only serve to remind me just how I
love you so.
234
00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:32,900
Now, I came round your house a -courting
late on a Saturday night.
235
00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:35,280
I said I don't want to see you.
236
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,260
So I switched out the light.
237
00:21:37,740 --> 00:21:42,320
Later that night, you banged on my door
and started to holler and shout. You
238
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:43,720
kicked up such a rump.
239
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,680
Thank you.
240
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,160
Thank
241
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:04,680
you.
242
00:22:25,450 --> 00:22:29,750
and I would like to start with Oliver
Twist featuring Nancy...
243
00:23:08,170 --> 00:23:09,190
I couldn't get these out.
244
00:23:12,890 --> 00:23:17,170
Could somebody get me rice pudding?
Could you order me rice pudding?
245
00:23:17,550 --> 00:23:19,370
Then send in the prisoner.
246
00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:27,950
No more whipping!
247
00:23:28,270 --> 00:23:30,510
No more beatings! I beg of you!
248
00:23:32,850 --> 00:23:37,870
Tell me the name of the man who saved my
brother's life and you shall go free.
249
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,100
Very well, then.
250
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:46,080
The name of the man who saved your
brother's life is... His
251
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:51,740
name is... His name is... His
252
00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:58,680
name is Duke of
253
00:23:58,680 --> 00:23:59,680
Genby.
254
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:06,800
The Duke of Genby?
255
00:24:09,390 --> 00:24:10,390
Thought his enemy?
256
00:24:10,410 --> 00:24:11,550
But why?
257
00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:14,650
The reason will be most rewarding.
258
00:24:15,650 --> 00:24:18,190
Send in the Duke of Denby.
259
00:24:21,190 --> 00:24:28,150
You sent for me,
260
00:24:28,230 --> 00:24:29,230
Your Majesty?
261
00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:34,710
Even a queen must thank the man who
saved the life of her brother.
262
00:24:35,210 --> 00:24:37,450
Come, my Lord of Denby.
263
00:24:37,850 --> 00:24:39,150
Give me your hand.
264
00:24:39,910 --> 00:24:42,390
Nay, my lord, the other hand.
265
00:24:43,790 --> 00:24:44,790
Nay.
266
00:24:45,970 --> 00:24:48,950
Nay, my lord, both hands.
267
00:24:51,730 --> 00:24:54,470
She didn't have to have both hands, did
she? Could have done it with one.
268
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,950
I can't get the bloody thing off, can I?
269
00:24:57,770 --> 00:24:58,749
Oh, dear.
270
00:24:58,750 --> 00:24:59,930
Hello, Madge.
271
00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:03,810
But you were two pairs of hands.
272
00:25:04,050 --> 00:25:07,510
Oh, two pairs of hands, dear. Not if
they look like that. They are.
273
00:25:08,300 --> 00:25:11,260
about washing up. Oh, you want to try
barmolive, my dear.
274
00:25:11,620 --> 00:25:12,620
That's washing up liquid.
275
00:25:13,020 --> 00:25:14,220
That's what your hands are in now.
276
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:15,960
Oh. Oh, yes.
277
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:21,660
Oh, barmolive is especially mild, and
there's none gentler. Oh, barmolive will
278
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:25,000
keep your hands lovely and soft. Oi, do
you see my do?
279
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,260
Oh, goodness.
280
00:25:31,940 --> 00:25:35,100
Madge. Honestly, Johnny, so bloody
rough.
281
00:25:36,220 --> 00:25:37,220
Then sit.
282
00:25:37,740 --> 00:25:38,559
the traitor.
283
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:39,560
Aye, your majesty.
284
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,400
I'll send him in.
285
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,220
To think a captain of the guard could
treat his queen so.
286
00:25:47,860 --> 00:25:50,280
He shall pay dearly for this.
287
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,760
Captain, I would speak with you.
288
00:25:58,300 --> 00:25:59,600
Aye, your majesty.
289
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,300
I would speak with you. Come here.
290
00:26:04,740 --> 00:26:06,760
But I can hear the...
291
00:26:07,530 --> 00:26:12,350
I can hear thee full well from here,
your majesty. I command you to come
292
00:26:14,570 --> 00:26:21,510
I couldn't hear you back there, John.
It's not my fault.
293
00:26:22,730 --> 00:26:24,750
Well, could you get a welder, then?
294
00:26:25,990 --> 00:26:29,850
Another fine day here in Sherwood
Forest.
295
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:32,570
What say you to that, eh, little John?
296
00:26:48,850 --> 00:26:49,990
Hanging's too good for him.
297
00:26:51,250 --> 00:26:52,770
What do you say to that, eh, little Don?
298
00:26:54,330 --> 00:27:00,810
Now... I told you to keep to the left. I
did keep to the left.
299
00:27:01,190 --> 00:27:05,490
Shut that door, then. Yes, and I'm going
off to tea. Well, I don't... Nay, my
300
00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:07,530
liege! I tell you nay! Nay!
301
00:27:08,110 --> 00:27:09,830
You shall not take me alive!
302
00:27:10,370 --> 00:27:12,110
Never! For with yonder...
303
00:27:20,910 --> 00:27:26,310
under poison tablet, which is concealed
beneath my doublet, which is next to my
304
00:27:26,310 --> 00:27:31,230
singlet, shall I truly kill myself, and
so, so do I die.
305
00:27:31,490 --> 00:27:32,490
I die.
306
00:27:38,610 --> 00:27:43,210
With yonder sword shall I truly kill
myself, and so...
307
00:27:51,660 --> 00:27:53,980
how quickly the blood doth congeal.
308
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,920
And so... Sorry.
309
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,120
And so do I, darling.
310
00:29:32,460 --> 00:29:34,940
television is, will there be a fourth
channel?
311
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,120
No, I don't know.
312
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:41,540
But are we satisfied with the television
programmes that we're getting?
313
00:29:41,860 --> 00:29:44,440
Yes, the answer is no.
314
00:29:45,460 --> 00:29:50,900
But should there be a fourth channel? Of
course not. Unless the public demand
315
00:29:50,900 --> 00:29:56,180
it. And then I say, yes, we shall not
take no for an answer.
316
00:29:59,950 --> 00:30:05,830
Now, with me in the studio here is a man
who is directly concerned with it, the
317
00:30:05,830 --> 00:30:10,530
head of Scuttlevision, Mr. Frederick
Scuttle. Good evening, sir.
318
00:30:10,730 --> 00:30:11,730
Good evening, fans.
319
00:30:12,670 --> 00:30:17,130
Mr. Scuttle, if you were in charge of
the fourth channel, what audiences would
320
00:30:17,130 --> 00:30:18,130
you aim for?
321
00:30:18,230 --> 00:30:23,550
The thinking man, sir. Yes. The thinking
man is fed up with the superfluity and
322
00:30:23,550 --> 00:30:25,790
frivolousness of television.
323
00:30:26,230 --> 00:30:27,690
All that frolics.
324
00:30:30,220 --> 00:30:35,140
Yes, sir. He's fed up with nothing but
dancing ladies wearing nothing but
325
00:30:35,140 --> 00:30:37,880
braziers and open -neck trousers.
326
00:30:40,100 --> 00:30:43,440
Some of the costumes the girls wear
nowadays are disgraceful, sir. I've seen
327
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:44,940
more cotton in the top of an aspirin
bottle.
328
00:30:46,300 --> 00:30:50,620
There was a dancer the other week, a
white -haired club, wearing a kilt six
329
00:30:50,620 --> 00:30:51,900
inches above the knee.
330
00:30:52,540 --> 00:30:53,680
Well, what's wrong with that?
331
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,880
He didn't have six inches above the
knee, sir.
332
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:01,920
What would you put in its place?
333
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,020
In what place, sir?
334
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:12,240
The dancers, the frolics. I'll tell you
what I'd put in. The masters, sir, the
335
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,720
classics. The classics. Lady Fandomia's
Wind.
336
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,160
The Tale of Two Cities.
337
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:24,840
Hater Gobbler.
338
00:31:26,540 --> 00:31:29,280
Dillon from Class, sir. Yes, sir, I
worked there.
339
00:31:30,879 --> 00:31:34,520
Continental artiste and book picked and
booked by myself.
340
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:36,800
What was that again?
341
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,880
I can't pick my car. Listen, I go over
there, you know. You do?
342
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,920
Oh, sir, yeah. I speak five languages,
you know. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
343
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:45,520
Oui, oui, monsieur.
344
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:48,560
That is French.
345
00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:49,700
Is it? Yeah.
346
00:31:50,460 --> 00:31:51,460
Six languages.
347
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,580
I've handled them all, you know, sir.
348
00:31:59,980 --> 00:32:01,860
Les champignons de la chanson.
349
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:04,680
The singing toadstools.
350
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,160
Lost paranoics, I've handled them.
351
00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:12,100
Sophia Loren, I've never handled them.
352
00:32:12,980 --> 00:32:19,860
No, but we reach for the stars, we do. I
offered Maria Callas's... I offered
353
00:32:19,860 --> 00:32:24,060
her 30 quid and 10 luncheon vouchers to
come over here and mime to a verse and
354
00:32:24,060 --> 00:32:25,440
chorus of Cozy Fanny Tutty.
355
00:32:26,380 --> 00:32:28,340
Did she acquiesce?
356
00:32:28,620 --> 00:32:29,740
Not with me, she didn't, so no.
357
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,620
But, sir, you know, the thing is...
Well, tell you what else we're going to
358
00:32:33,620 --> 00:32:36,180
them, sir. What? Oh, the greatest, sir.
Our serial.
359
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,680
The continuing story of Acker Street.
360
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:43,700
Oh, the critics liked it? The two
crickets went potty over it, sir. Mary
361
00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:47,280
said, if I had not seen it with my own
eyes, I would not have believed it.
362
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:50,800
Virginia Ironside.
363
00:32:53,820 --> 00:32:55,260
They're the name to conjure with.
364
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:59,060
referred to it as Poetry in Motion.
365
00:32:59,540 --> 00:33:03,720
And Alan Bryan said it makes Hocal
Cutter look like a Blue Peter.
366
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,380
So, you see, they all enjoyed it, you
see. Oh, I'm sure they did. And I'll
367
00:33:08,380 --> 00:33:10,640
you what else we're going to give. We're
going to give, for the first time on
368
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:11,820
television, Poetry in Jazz.
369
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:16,820
Poetry in Jazz? Poetry in Jazz, yes,
with Melody Malcolm, with a voice like
370
00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:17,820
Talcum.
371
00:33:18,060 --> 00:33:20,560
And his minstrels. They're ready now.
His minstrels?
372
00:33:20,820 --> 00:33:23,900
They'll give us a couple of them, if you
like. Oh, they'll give us a potpourri.
373
00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:26,030
I wouldn't put it as strongly as that.
374
00:33:26,890 --> 00:33:29,710
I'll tell you a couple of them. You see,
you never know with Malcolm what he's
375
00:33:29,710 --> 00:33:34,330
going to do. We give him a free hand in
its entirety, sir. You see, we never tie
376
00:33:34,330 --> 00:33:35,149
him down.
377
00:33:35,150 --> 00:33:36,470
No. Unless it's a full moon.
378
00:33:37,070 --> 00:33:39,270
And then we have to, you know, sir.
379
00:33:39,670 --> 00:33:46,590
Full moon, a Will's whiff, a cup of
Benji's, and a tizer,
380
00:33:46,590 --> 00:33:47,590
and he's off!
381
00:33:48,050 --> 00:33:49,050
Wheel gone!
382
00:33:49,430 --> 00:33:52,510
He's a non -conformist. I think he's
theory, actually, sir.
383
00:33:52,770 --> 00:33:56,210
I would like to say. You never know what
one minute, sir, he'll give you, Eskimo
384
00:33:56,210 --> 00:33:59,850
Nell, and then, like lightning, you get
the rubber yacht of Jaime Cohen.
385
00:34:00,370 --> 00:34:03,030
The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. As well,
sir, yes.
386
00:34:04,110 --> 00:34:08,150
And the minstrels, sir. Oh, the group.
Oh, the group. Are they strict tempo?
387
00:34:08,330 --> 00:34:09,389
Never touch a drop, sir.
388
00:34:10,150 --> 00:34:15,830
They don't, sir, no. They smoke quite a
bit, which you see, sir. They are lovely
389
00:34:15,830 --> 00:34:19,370
music, sir. Yes, sir. Lovely music. I
heard them last night at Teddington Town
390
00:34:19,370 --> 00:34:20,770
Hall. You should have been there, sir.
It was magnificent.
391
00:34:21,090 --> 00:34:25,429
The music sort of swelled up. It swelled
up and it sort of filled the hall, sir.
392
00:34:25,510 --> 00:34:27,850
Yes. Several people left to make room
for it, actually.
393
00:34:28,690 --> 00:34:30,690
Are they ready now? Come over here. I'll
show you, sir.
394
00:34:40,940 --> 00:34:42,540
Poor old Prunella was built like a
fella.
395
00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:45,880
So she went down to see Dr Kerr.
396
00:34:46,139 --> 00:34:49,100
He said, no, they'll make ace. When she
stripped to the waist, he could hardly
397
00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:50,100
stop calling her sir.
398
00:34:52,219 --> 00:34:55,860
He started to gape at her absence of
shape, and he laughed, and he hardly
399
00:34:55,860 --> 00:34:57,660
speak. And he started to joke.
400
00:34:57,860 --> 00:35:00,340
She said, it's no joke they've been
swallowing like that for a week.
401
00:35:01,780 --> 00:35:04,100
He explained the position. He said, I'm
a physician.
402
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,300
I graft you two on just like that.
403
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,420
And he went and got plastered. The silly
old fool.
404
00:35:10,410 --> 00:35:12,010
And he grafted them onto her back.
405
00:35:13,210 --> 00:35:17,430
Now poor old Prunella, she can't get a
fella to walk or to talk or romance
406
00:35:17,730 --> 00:35:21,190
Because no one wants to chat when a girl
looks like that. But by golly, she's
407
00:35:21,190 --> 00:35:22,330
great fun to dance with.
408
00:35:28,750 --> 00:35:29,750
Here's another.
409
00:35:30,850 --> 00:35:32,970
My mate Ted has got a big head.
410
00:35:35,670 --> 00:35:37,890
He's a snob, he's aloof, he's high -ass.
411
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,300
Some blokes say, by heck, he's a pain in
the neck. My opinion is lower than
412
00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:42,300
that.
413
00:35:42,980 --> 00:35:46,160
When he was at school, he made it the
rule to be Miss Coon's favourite
414
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:51,260
She said, you stay behind.
415
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:53,620
He said, I don't mind the joke and the
gossip and you don't.
416
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,600
Once I said, Miss Coon, may I leave the
room? And I put my head over my head.
417
00:35:57,780 --> 00:36:00,700
She replied with a grin, now you can
stop in and fill up the inkwells
418
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,340
that we were soon to discover, Botox was
his name.
419
00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:15,360
Ted said, ain't that a shame, because
it's neither one thing nor the other.
420
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:22,600
He wanted more knowledge, so he went to
college, one of them intellectual
421
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:26,800
palaces. I said, no, don't call us. He
said, I left there with honors, and
422
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,320
Sally's, and Irene's, and Alice's.
423
00:36:40,060 --> 00:36:41,480
an infant school teacher.
424
00:36:43,060 --> 00:36:44,720
She should have been teaching the men.
425
00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:48,540
On their wedding night, she said, that's
not right, now do it all over again.
426
00:36:52,100 --> 00:36:54,780
He says, I went to night school.
427
00:36:55,460 --> 00:37:02,160
He says, I went to the right school, now
I go to night school. Every
428
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:03,480
Tuesday from eight until ten.
429
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,920
That's why I'm so bright, because every
Tuesday night I learn about world famous
430
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:07,920
men.
431
00:37:08,790 --> 00:37:10,730
Now, Venus was chased all over the
place.
432
00:37:12,910 --> 00:37:16,130
She was lovely, and that's on the level.
433
00:37:16,490 --> 00:37:19,890
And old Aphrodite ran around in her
nightie, and Zeus was a dirty old devil.
434
00:37:20,970 --> 00:37:24,650
He said, you've never heard of Richard
III, or Rembrandt, or Voltaire, or Ren.
435
00:37:25,010 --> 00:37:26,370
He said, I'm no fool.
436
00:37:27,010 --> 00:37:30,170
I go to night school every Tuesday from
8 until 10.
437
00:37:30,890 --> 00:37:32,390
I said, I bet you don't know.
438
00:37:36,650 --> 00:37:40,910
I said, I bet you don't know Charlie
Glenn. He says, no, I'll buy it. Then
439
00:37:40,910 --> 00:37:41,609
Charlie Glenn?
440
00:37:41,610 --> 00:37:44,550
I said, he's the louse who goes round to
your house every Tuesday from eight
441
00:37:44,550 --> 00:37:45,550
until ten.
442
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:12,700
When she's lost the way Give her your
shoulder to cry on
443
00:38:12,700 --> 00:38:19,480
Whether the day is bright or grey Give
her your
444
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:25,540
heart to rely on Blow her a kiss from
across the room
445
00:38:25,540 --> 00:38:32,520
Say she looks nice when she's not Touch
her hair
446
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,240
as you pass her chair
447
00:38:40,170 --> 00:38:42,650
Give her your hand as you cross the
street.
448
00:38:43,970 --> 00:38:46,010
Over at six on the dot.
449
00:38:47,750 --> 00:38:50,830
Find a day when you're far away.
450
00:38:52,230 --> 00:38:54,630
Little things need a lot.
451
00:38:56,250 --> 00:38:59,830
Don't have to buy her diamonds or
pearls.
452
00:39:00,690 --> 00:39:02,990
Champagne tables and books.
453
00:39:04,010 --> 00:39:06,550
She doesn't care much for...
454
00:39:11,990 --> 00:39:15,410
Give her your hand when she's locked
away.
455
00:39:16,450 --> 00:39:19,310
Give her your shoulder to close.
456
00:39:20,430 --> 00:39:26,870
Give her your heart to delight.
457
00:39:28,210 --> 00:39:31,450
Send her the warmth of a secret smile.
458
00:39:32,630 --> 00:39:34,710
Show her you haven't forgotten.
459
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:54,280
Good evening.
460
00:40:07,370 --> 00:40:10,490
Well, once again, we welcome from China,
Mr.
461
00:40:10,710 --> 00:40:11,509
Chow Min.
462
00:40:11,510 --> 00:40:13,970
Good evening, everybody.
463
00:40:15,890 --> 00:40:19,510
And hello there, Nickers Parsons.
464
00:40:20,970 --> 00:40:24,270
Nicholas Parsons. Nickers Parsons.
465
00:40:24,550 --> 00:40:26,010
I am Nicholas.
466
00:40:26,630 --> 00:40:28,290
Mind you don't catch a cold.
467
00:40:32,530 --> 00:40:36,190
You're not like Chairman Mao.
468
00:40:36,820 --> 00:40:39,040
Chairman Mao, have nicks on.
469
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:47,400
Well,
470
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:51,580
I am delighted to see that this time Mr.
Min has brought with him his lovely
471
00:40:51,580 --> 00:40:57,040
wife, Mrs. Min. And may I say, Mrs. Min,
that you are the veritable epitome of
472
00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:01,840
Eastern womanhood and beauty. With your
enigmatic smile, you're the lotus
473
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:03,160
blossom incarnate.
474
00:41:14,740 --> 00:41:18,720
I'm terribly sorry. I didn't realize
that your wife spoke English. Better
475
00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:19,720
you, cookie boy.
476
00:41:22,140 --> 00:41:24,600
Your rota's rotten in corny.
477
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:26,940
What a rotacobras.
478
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:30,480
Mr. Min.
479
00:41:30,810 --> 00:41:34,450
Where did you first come to meet your
lovely wife? In Shanghai, I sleep.
480
00:41:34,790 --> 00:41:36,750
I was driving in the long rain.
481
00:41:37,090 --> 00:41:38,090
The long rain?
482
00:41:38,310 --> 00:41:40,030
Not a long rain, a long rain.
483
00:41:40,610 --> 00:41:41,710
The long rain.
484
00:41:42,410 --> 00:41:44,850
Oh, the wrong lane. Yay!
485
00:41:46,070 --> 00:41:47,170
In her car.
486
00:41:47,570 --> 00:41:48,610
What else?
487
00:41:50,430 --> 00:41:52,310
Then I drive over this glass.
488
00:41:52,530 --> 00:41:55,070
And you got a puncture. No, not a
puncture on glass.
489
00:41:55,850 --> 00:41:57,730
Not a puncture on clean glass.
490
00:41:58,430 --> 00:42:00,030
Not a puncture on glass.
491
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,200
Don't blow them grass, get a puncher.
492
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,520
Get a puncher of a throat in a minute.
493
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:13,820
Then I noticed that she wearing hot
pants.
494
00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:15,500
Made in China?
495
00:42:15,620 --> 00:42:16,620
Made in cotton.
496
00:42:18,340 --> 00:42:24,800
She was leaning over her car and I was
rugging and all full of lust.
497
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,440
You were? A car.
498
00:42:26,820 --> 00:42:29,180
It was a lusty car. The engine was
lusty.
499
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:32,280
Rustic. Yeah.
500
00:42:32,460 --> 00:42:34,080
So I say to myself,
501
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:41,240
It's magic.
502
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:48,960
Because, you see, what I say in English
is, I think maybe her leg is broken.
503
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,380
Maybe her crutches are burnt out.
504
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,540
And then I go over and I say, hey.
505
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:57,640
Butterfly Blaine, I see you no switch
on.
506
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,140
And she say, I only got to take one look
at you, Cookie Boy, and I switch on.
507
00:43:02,300 --> 00:43:04,580
So, Mr. Min, this is your wife.
508
00:43:04,860 --> 00:43:08,960
What aspects of Britain do you think
will most interest the people of China?
509
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,820
I'd like to hear about Paris.
510
00:43:12,460 --> 00:43:14,200
The French capital, Paris.
511
00:43:14,460 --> 00:43:15,840
In English, Buckingham, Paris.
512
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:21,620
I'd like to hear about how much is the
clean Elizabeth.
513
00:43:23,050 --> 00:43:25,050
And her mother, the clean mother.
514
00:43:26,790 --> 00:43:28,710
Also Prince Philip.
515
00:43:29,550 --> 00:43:30,930
Lord Stoughton.
516
00:43:31,270 --> 00:43:32,270
Princess Margaret.
517
00:43:32,890 --> 00:43:35,550
All the loyal family.
518
00:43:36,610 --> 00:43:38,470
Also visit horse piddle.
519
00:43:41,790 --> 00:43:46,030
Visit the horse piddle, yes. We see the
nurses there with the brats talking.
520
00:43:46,330 --> 00:43:49,430
Some of those nurses can disturb the
patients without making a bed.
521
00:43:50,810 --> 00:43:52,150
They get a surprise.
522
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:53,380
What kind of surprise?
523
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:54,940
Medical surprise.
524
00:43:55,380 --> 00:43:56,380
Oh, surprise.
525
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:58,460
Oh, you know this one, you silly idiot.
526
00:43:58,860 --> 00:44:00,620
Oh, come on, Cookie Baby, you tell me.
527
00:44:01,940 --> 00:44:03,600
Also, we go to Reading.
528
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,720
Reading in Berkshire. No, Reading in
Church, sir.
529
00:44:07,300 --> 00:44:10,280
Ah, we go see marriage ceremony.
530
00:44:10,820 --> 00:44:12,580
I see. And drink champagne.
531
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:17,720
There was no gloom. Everyone was happy.
How can they be happy when there is no
532
00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:19,180
gloom? Gloom not an up.
533
00:44:19,420 --> 00:44:20,379
Oh, the groom.
534
00:44:20,380 --> 00:44:21,380
Yes.
535
00:44:22,170 --> 00:44:23,510
Oy vey.
536
00:44:24,830 --> 00:44:30,230
For when the groom turn up, he marry...
He
537
00:44:30,230 --> 00:44:33,250
marry 16 wives.
538
00:44:33,730 --> 00:44:35,070
16? Yes.
539
00:44:35,310 --> 00:44:38,410
Four richer, four poorer, four better,
and four worse.
540
00:44:44,990 --> 00:44:48,030
I like that. I hear more crapping.
That's nice.
541
00:44:55,850 --> 00:44:57,510
and then come in telling a lead Jerry.
542
00:44:57,770 --> 00:44:58,669
A lead Jerry?
543
00:44:58,670 --> 00:44:59,750
Yes, a lead Jerry.
544
00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:01,210
Yeah, full of custard.
545
00:45:02,870 --> 00:45:05,430
Custard? Yeah, you never have Jerry and
custard.
546
00:45:06,830 --> 00:45:11,690
It's rubbery, Jerry and custard. It's
rubbery. It was a love belly, Jerry.
547
00:45:12,810 --> 00:45:15,590
And it was not enough to go round, so I
give it a smack in the middle and
548
00:45:15,590 --> 00:45:22,110
everybody get a bit... Also, I take a
photograph.
549
00:45:22,250 --> 00:45:25,010
It was spoilt. Oh, spoilt, oh.
550
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:29,538
Ah, spoiled.
551
00:45:29,540 --> 00:45:30,538
Oh.
552
00:45:30,540 --> 00:45:31,800
Ah, spoiled. Oh.
553
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:33,960
Spoiled. Right.
554
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,000
Click it.
555
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,680
And, uh, rugby.
556
00:45:41,380 --> 00:45:42,500
Okay. Okay.
557
00:45:43,020 --> 00:45:45,040
Okay. Okay. With an okay stick.
558
00:45:45,580 --> 00:45:46,580
Okay.
559
00:45:48,860 --> 00:45:51,280
Don't we write best, oh, damn, too bad,
Joe.
560
00:45:51,540 --> 00:45:55,340
Oh, yeah. Oh, damn, too bad, Joe. Good
game. Oh, damn.
561
00:45:55,660 --> 00:45:58,920
Dobajo. Oh, don't Dobajo. Good game.
Ready can pray also?
562
00:45:59,300 --> 00:46:03,600
Oh, summary can pray. I see a lady. She
was breast with two nipples.
563
00:46:04,620 --> 00:46:07,640
I beg your pardon? Breast with two
nipples.
564
00:46:08,300 --> 00:46:10,540
Oh, blessed with two nippers.
565
00:46:10,860 --> 00:46:12,160
Yeah, that's what I say. Two nipples.
566
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:13,138
No, no.
567
00:46:13,140 --> 00:46:16,220
There was a big cloud.
568
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:17,980
Oh, a cloud of rain?
569
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:19,360
No, a cloud of people.
570
00:46:20,140 --> 00:46:24,180
And they all come to see this man, her
husband, pray.
571
00:46:25,260 --> 00:46:26,260
Oh, damn cabacho.
572
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:29,940
So, oh, don't do bad, Joe, he takes a
small round ball, a right ball, oh,
573
00:46:29,940 --> 00:46:34,300
do bad, Joe, put it on the grass, and
over there is a small round hole. He
574
00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:39,480
with a stick or a crub to knock the
small round hole into the little tiny
575
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,620
there. The ball go into the hole, but it
not quite go in. It's just on the edge,
576
00:46:42,720 --> 00:46:44,980
and everybody say, oh, don't do bad,
Joe.
577
00:46:45,420 --> 00:46:48,900
Oh, don't do bad, Joe. That's a good
game. I like that. I like that game.
578
00:46:48,900 --> 00:46:51,840
you very much indeed, Mr. Min and Mrs.
Min.
579
00:46:52,060 --> 00:46:53,060
Good night, Cookie Boy.
580
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,840
I got a brand new pair of roller skates.
581
00:47:09,220 --> 00:47:15,960
I rise at six and then I feed the chicks
and I'm feeling
582
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:16,980
lonesome and blue.
583
00:47:17,260 --> 00:47:21,500
And when I milk the cow it seems somehow
my thoughts keep straying to you.
584
00:47:21,860 --> 00:47:25,980
And as the horse and I play the field...
nearby, your memory I can't erase.
585
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:30,800
For as I look at the rear of the horse,
my dear, I seem to see your face.
586
00:47:31,140 --> 00:47:35,780
I'm going to soak the seat of deep
devotion, fertilizing with emotion.
587
00:47:36,740 --> 00:47:39,980
Water is his warm desire, and then I'll
reap the harvest of love.
588
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:41,560
Yes,
589
00:47:43,420 --> 00:47:46,880
I was happy as a pig in spite of the way
that you looked at me when I met you at
590
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:50,120
the village dance. If you wouldn't,
ladies, excuse me, and I thought I
591
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:51,280
never have a chance.
592
00:47:51,980 --> 00:47:55,760
But you went off with Jeff, our local
chef, and you courted him down by the
593
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:59,960
hedge. Then up came his wife with a long
-handled knife, and she cut off his
594
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:03,680
meat and two vegs. I said, no, you seek
a big devotion.
595
00:48:04,260 --> 00:48:09,320
I said, with emotion, water it with warm
desire, and then I'll reap the harvest
596
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:10,440
of love. There.
597
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:17,300
So, you seek a big devotion. I said,
with emotion, water it with warm desire,
598
00:48:17,380 --> 00:48:20,360
and then I'll reap the harvest of love.
599
00:48:30,510 --> 00:48:33,070
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all very
much for being with us, and we look
600
00:48:33,070 --> 00:48:35,890
forward to seeing you all again quite
soon. Until then, bye -bye.
601
00:50:20,240 --> 00:50:23,040
Thank you.
46908
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