Original subtitles

Hey guys, what's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

I don't know.

What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can eat a fish, but you can't eat a guitar.

How is that a joke?

That's literally just a fact. It's like saying, what's the difference between a

hat and a car?

Oh, hang on, I know this one.

One's the thing you drive around in. And the other you wear on your head.

Clap it.

We'll work on that some more when I return from my trip.

I can't believe this is our first week off in, like, actually forever.

You're no use to me if you collapse from exhaustion.

Nice if I had to put us first.

When I'm back, we're in... I'll make the most of it.

Oh.

And you're still girls here first.

To keep a low profile.

What's everyone up to this week?

Mercury's in retrograde, so I'm staying in, making dreamcatchers. I have 27 ,000

DMs to reply to.

I'm probably just going to have to... You're really pushing it, Maya.

Sasha already suspects.

What's the worst that could happen?

Kick you out with Earth orbit.

Hey, Chloe.

Hey, Nate.

What's this?

Dan needs to raise money to pay back Sasha Small.

I suggested an amateur boxing night.

Sounds a bit... hurty.

Nah. All the boxers wear padding.

Nobody gets hurt.

Sounds like you know a lot about it.

Been boxing on and off until date.

Glad it's not just because you like punching people.

Fancy signing up?

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Because I'm a knack for one part of it.

Well, you'll have to help me train instead then.

Wait. You turned up for this?

To have an actual fight?

Yeah. Why?

You're not scared of me, are you?

Pass the fist.

Of course I'm not scared.

See ya.

Mum doesn't think I'm old enough.

What is her problem?

I got made this pissed when I was four.

Maybe she has a thing about people making holes in themselves.

Wait, four?

Yeah, whatever.

You're seriously going to let her control your life like that?

She lets your brother do whatever he wants.

There's no point in me even asking.

It's fine.

I'll get them pissed when I'm 16.

Listen to yourself.

We need to go give your mum a piece of your mind.

What? Stand up for yourself and stop being pushed about.

But...

So this is me when I won my under -eight title.

You look, uh, nice.

It's awesome to actually have some free time.

What are we going to do?

We could go to that donkey sanctuary.

I love a good donk. They're like rubbish horses.

Either of you two fancy boxing on Friday?

We've only had one person sign up so far.

Sorry, Dan.

Got to protect the moneymaker.

It's just a bit of fun. You'll have all the padding on.

Padding or no padding, being punched isn't my idea of fun.

Well, if I don't get at least one more person to sign up, then I'll have to

refund all the tickets. Then the pally will be back to square one.

I'll do it.

Have you ever boxed before?

Just punching stuff.

Cool. Chloe, you're going to be fighting Maya.

Bring it on.

Bring it on indeed.

Chloe, are you sure about this?

More than ever.

Girls here first versus the wonderland. Fight of the century.

I've got some spare gloves and pads if you need them. It's the least I can do

soon as I'm going to demolish you.

Er, I spend 20 hours a week dance training.

I think you'll find I'm going to demolish you, Chloe.

Maya, Maya, Maya.

You're going down. In the honour of the Wonderland.

No, you are. In honour of Girls Here First. No, you are. No, you are. No, you

are. This is amazing.

Drink? Anyone?

Done. Full lemonade, please.

I can't believe it.

Because she thinks she is.

Did you hear her?

You need a nickname.

Like... What is her problem?

Maya the Masher.

Maya the Monster.

I'm going to make her regret ever getting in the ring with me.

I've got it.

Oh, Maya Geddon.

Oh, please. It's top of new.

Soz. OK.

Found a training programme that will get you ready.

But I'm already fit. If you don't know what you're doing, one of you two could

get hurt.

All right, what do I need to know?

First thing, it's a sparring match.

You win on point.

Oh, like a video game. Can you train Maya how to shoot fireballs from her

No, and technically we should be helping Chloe as she's part of the Wonderland.

It's all a bit weird, but treat this.

What is it?

Whey. No whey?

Yeah, whey.

It's a protein shake.

It's got extra vitamins in it.

What even is whey?

It's basically the liquid left after milk goes off.

Sorry.

Do you want to get your ears pierced or not?

Yeah, of course, but... Just ask her then.

Ask me what?

Um... You're going to say no anyway.

She's had enough of you saying that she can't do things and treating her like a

little kid and being a total bossy man 100 % of the time.

Not my word.

Molly's. Oh, and FYI, more than half the kids in our class have got their ear

pierced. OK.

But you like Nate being abandoned and stuff, so why can't Molly just... I said

OK, Eleanor.

What do you mean, OK?

I mean OK.

You can get your ear pierced.

I'll take you Friday.

Don't understand.

I got mine pierced about your age.

It's no big deal.

I need to lie down.

And FYI, Eleanor, if you ever speak to me like that again, you'll never be

welcome in this house.

Clear?

Sorry, Nate's mum.

I can't get a point of him, does it?

Knock him down if I got to.

Maya's our friend, though.

Yeah, but Sasha's the manager and she hates us.

But, but... It'll be fine, Nate, trust me.

Are you okay? Yeah, sorry.

Just need a breather.

Go easy on her, yeah?

Okay.

Let's practice sparring.

Okay.

Okay, hold your hands up. Keep them flat.

Why do you two get to be on bikes?

Because if you were on a bike, it'd be a ride and not a run.

It's my week off.

I'm starting to think this was a bad idea.

No, a bad idea is fishing for sharks in the dock without a helmet.

That's a bad idea.

Check it out.

Well, she's pretty good.

Still doesn't stand a chance against me.

She's really good.

She's terrifying.

Go on, Chloe.

Oh, Chloe.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I just got carried away.

I've got to win this.

Why does it matter if you win or not?

Why? Because it's about time girls here first felt what it's like to lose.

They get all our wins and I'm sick of... Where are you going?

I just don't think this is the right thing to do.

And I don't want to be part of it.

Right. Well, I can't fight her.

You can't pull out.

Dad would have to cancel the fight.

It took me ages to come up with, am I a get -in?

One of you could fight her instead.

Nah.

Thanks for coming, guys. I appreciate it.

We shouldn't be here. Sasha told us to keep a low profile.

What if we get papped? Why do you think I told you to come in disguise?

Yes, because that worked out so well.

I thought it was some fancy dress thing.

See, this is what happens during Mercury Retrograde.

No one's recognised you, have they?

Hey, girls, you're first.

What can I get you?

Mary?

Who would go up here first?

We're fine, Dan.

Just tell us what the emergency is.

Basically, there's this fundraising boxing thing coming up and... And...

Don't tell me you want us to box. Seriously?

It's not even a proper fight. It's just against Chloe.

That's four against one.

So not fair.

Remember what Sasha said we're supposed to keep a low profile? Yeah, but hang

on.

Imagine if one of us did be the Wonderland's vlogger. Sasha would love

She actually would.

So, does that mean you'll do it?

No.

But we'll all be there to cheer you along. Yay.

Incognito, of course. Wherever that is.

What if I don't even win?

Then we know nothing.

And best of luck explaining your breezes to Thesha.

Team Maya!

Yay!

Ain't it?

So, uh, we sort of saw you in the park with Chloe.

Oh, yeah, that.

No biggie.

What does it matter if there's a whole other aggressive side to her that I had

no idea about and it totally freaks me out?

That's why I'm being a coward, mate.

Who said I'm a coward?

It's cool.

I hid in a wardrobe for an hour last week. What were you hiding from?

Nothing.

Okay.

What do I do?

I don't want Chloe thinking I'm a coward.

Maybe you need to reveal your tough side.

Show her what a big, strong man you are.

Wait, does he lose muscles?

Maybe don't show her the muscles.

What's up?

I think I scared Nate.

Yeah, we sort of saw.

Probably sees me as some violent monster.

What if he's too scared to speak to me ever again? Of course he'll talk to you

again. Maybe I should pull out. You can't. Dan would have to refund all the

tickets. But what do I do?

Just... You need to remind Nate that you've also got a sensitive side.

You do have a sensitive side.

Yeah.

So,

basically, what they do is they take your ear and they drill a massive hole

it. And then, assuming that it doesn't bleed too much or swell up or loads of

pus comes out...

Did you stick an earring in it?

Really simple.

Matthew Hollywood.

Please, most of course, come down.

Did you stick an earring in it? Molly.

Don't do that.

Why are you so jumpy? This all looks terrifying.

It's just a little sting, usually.

There's nothing to be scared of.

Much? A sting?

Yeah, like a wasp or a bee. Or a giant jellyfish.

And that's supposed to be reassuring.

Why are you so supportive of this? It's weirding me out. Getting your ears

pierced is a big mum -daughter moment.

It's a rite of passage, like falling off a bike, losing a tooth, or having your

first operation.

Trust me, we'll remember it forever.

You alright, Chloe?

Hi, yeah.

I'm just looking at puppies online.

Thinking about adopting one.

They're so cute.

Yeah, I'm just carrying this really heavy book.

Everyone needs a hobby.

Yeah. Don gets me to carry these really heavy boxes for him.

Oh, look at his little eyes. So scrumptious.

Thinking about taking up taekwondo?

Taekwondo? Yeah, why not?

Not everyone... It's like the Incredible Hulk. I'm not... I just don't think

life has to be one big fight.

Yeah, but we deserve at least one victory. I'm doing this for us.

Girls are first for friends.

If you want to blame anyone for where the Wonderland are, blame Sasha.

Yeah, too bad I couldn't get in the ring with her.

I'd love to teach her a lesson or two. Take her apart, piece by piece.

Uppercut, jab, knockout.

I think I'm going to go.

Oh, Nate, don't forget your box.

Thanks for doing this, Harry. It means a lot.

So, you're ready to start training, chump?

It's not like anyone's going to let me back out.

You'll be fine.

Will I?

I'm terrified, Harry.

How can you be scared of anything?

You perform in front of thousands of people.

This is different.

When I sing, it's like I'm someone else.

Right. So that's what you need to do.

Pretend to be someone else.

Someone the exact opposite of who you are.

Okay. Yeah.

Who would that be?

I don't know.

We'll find out.

But she drinks mouldy milk without spitting it out.

Right, so are we going to win this thing or what?

You've changed your tune.

Look, I get it.

We're different.

You don't need to look at puppies pretending to be something that you're

They were pretty cute, though.

Chloe, if you didn't fight our battle, then the ones at Lamburg called it quits

a long time ago.

No, they wouldn't. You'd never let that happen.

We're more alike than you think, you know.

Yeah.

We just fight in different ways.

Do you still want me in your corner?

Always.

Chloe the Clown!

I'm going to put you down!

I'm so mad I was born with a frown!

Oh, I'm bad!

I'm badder than bad!

I'm so bad, I made my mama sad!

What have you done to her?

I seem to have created a monster.

What's the matter?

I'm not going in there.

I'm only doing this because you two have bullied me into it.

No, we haven't. I thought this was something you wanted.

Yeah, but you were too scared to ask.

Yeah, in case you said yes.

So, what happens now?

What about a tattoo?

Yeah!

Yeah. Go, Foxy! Woo!

I can't believe Maya's doing this.

If she loses, we deny everything to Sasha. We were never here.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome...

Remember Maya?

Fun?

I've got a bad feeling about this. So have I.

Don't think I do, no.

Well, I'll give it to you if you do.

Just hit her.

Daddy. Sorry, love. Got a bit carried away there.

I'll take you down.

No, I'm not sure about this. Honestly. I'm glad you can't see me.

Okay.

I've been training for ages.

I've got no training.

What? Are you scared?

Yeah, a little bit.

Am I, uh, seriously?

You win.

I forfeit.

What? Is this what they're meant to do?

This is not a fight that I need.

Seriously, I win.

Boring. Typical Wonderland, losers again.

With that attitude, no wonder you lost the spotlight.

We came second, actually.

Whatever. This time next year, we'll be number one.

If your manager doesn't ruin our chances.

They make excuses for why such failures.

At least we have a proper manager and not some stupid dad.

Hey, you've got stupid dad out with this.

What's going on?

Help me get my gloves off. We need to stop this.

We work hard, rehearsals, recording songs, video shoots.

Look at the pop stars moaning about their perfect life. You don't know what

like to be a real band.

We are a real band. Yeah.

The Wanderlosers. Hey, guys, that's enough. Yeah.

Guys, stop it, please.

AJ, do something.

I don't want to get in the middle of that.

You didn't even play instruments.

That doesn't matter. That doesn't matter at all. I don't know what you're trying

to say. Oh, my God.

That doesn't even matter.

Hey,

we're made. Stop it.

We went through something on the spotlight that no one else gets.

Come on.

We're on the same side.

Sorry. Sorry.

Nate?

Can you hear us?

Nate? Nate? Are you okay?

Are you all right? Nate?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Jane?

Let me just...

Thanks, everyone.

Thanks.

Guys,

anyone want to sign up to my charity Jellyfish Kiss?

No!

Okay.

We're scared of pretty girls and starting conversations. Oh, all of my

are turning green.

You're the magician's assistant in their dream.

This movie that I think you'll like.

God decides to quit his job and heads to New York City.

This cowboy's running from himself.

I just gotta, I just gotta know.

I can't have it, I can't have it any other way.

I swear she's destined for the silver screen.

Close to things of Michelle Pfeiffer that you've ever seen.