Original subtitles

The curse words in this message have been approved by 50 Cent.

Bitch.

Welcome to Couple Therapy.

I'm Dr. Beverly. I want you to understand that I truly believe this

wonders for relationships.

I agree.

Yeah, whatever.

So, let's start with you.

Why would you say you're here today?

I believe that we have a strong connection, and I don't want to lose it.

And you, why are you here?

Because she dragged me down.

Okay, so violence is never the answer. You don't have to set it off

in my plan. I have to put that in my notes.

See, I never get to do the things that I want to do. We always do what you want

to do.

Like? Pop bottles, riding around in Bentleys, you know, gangster shit.

Got it. Gangster shit.

I am not a gangster.

No? Okay.

And second of all, I want to go to Europe, go to exotic dinners, go to

make a movie.

I think you mean watch a movie. No, no, no.

I meant make a movie.

That's the kind of freaky shit I like.

Oh. I said a movie, not a commercial.

Oh, that's a bit emasculating, I think, to talk about. Could have made the best

commercial you'd ever seen.

60 -second action -packed thriller.

Could get messy at the end like a horror film.

I know he still wanted me.

That's what you got from that? Yes!

Curtis want that thing back.

Curtis want that thing back. All right, so just calm down a bit. I think I see

what's happening here.

I think you're right. He, in fact, does want that thing back. Wait, wait, wait.

No, no, that's not what... Yes, it is. Pretty much.

So that's all the time we have today, but I'll see you guys tomorrow and the

next day, every day this week. Clear your steps.

I'm not coming here every day.

He makes me want to cut him. Oh, we went back to the night?

On the table is good.

We're back in my plant.

Cut it!

Ass, where you at, boy?

A little less aggression.

All right, all right.

Okay. We be on something.

Yes,

we'll come up. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, trick him up. Yeah.

Yeah, trick him up.

I want y 'all to give it up for the homie 50 Cent.

In your city, New York City, give it up for his own DJ JQ.

This week, we got an idea.

I had to date a few cougars.

Check this out. Yo, Kia, Tristan, come on down here.

Maybe I misunderstood you, but did I hear you say you like dating cougars?

I like all the women. I like the whole woman.

Yeah, man. Everybody loves 50. My mom loves 50. My sister loves 50.

My aunt loves 50. My cousin loves 50.

Kia loves 50.

Shut up, Tristan.

But you love 50.

I mean, yeah.

Oh, man.

Yeah, everybody loves 50.

Just watch and see.

When I date a new girl, her family usually freaks out when I meet them for

first time. So I thought I'd have some fun with that.

But this time I'm trying something new.

Your mom.

You know, I wanted to talk to you about something.

What?

I met somebody.

What about dad?

What about dad?

I'm sorry?

He's here, but he's in the bedroom right now.

Am I supposed to meet him?

Yeah, that's why I brought you up here.

I know this is awkward because you haven't seen me around dating somebody.

I went out one night and I met him in the club.

I wanted to tell you that back in high school, I was dating this guy and we

actually in love.

Okay. I got reacquainted with him. Dad's not going to do this.

i don't know you're thinking he's been doing snow again you know what i'm gonna

get him all right yeah okay curtis curtis would you come out here me

please i don't know what you heard about me oh no

it's my boo

Wow.

So it's cool now to me, like, I separate from your dad?

With him, then, yeah, that's pretty cool.

My heart is beating fast.

It is.

It really is. Oh, my God.

You got into music.

What songs do you sing?

I take you to the candy shop.

You know that song? I bet you like the lobby.

50 Cent?

Yeah.

What?

No,

no. Yeah.

You guys can talk, okay? All right. Yeah.

You guys can catch up. Listen,

talk a little bit. I'm going to be right back.

I'm going to tell you, like, I lost my virginity at the moment.

I've always, like, wanted, like, a white son.

Mm -hmm.

Would you be cool changing your name to Curtis?

I'd change my name to Curtis, yeah. Would you change the music to me? Yeah,

love music.

We could do, like, a ballad or something.

People that did the Father's Son album.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I'm just going to call back.

Okay, okay.

Well, you need proof.

Yeah, that's my Curtis right there. How cute.

I got something I want you guys to watch and observe.

Wow.

Nice.

On my 30s.

Is this happening right now?

No.

Wow. Thank you.

Oh, my God.

What the f*** just happened? Wow.

I got something else to say.

Um.

You're on TV.

You're on a show called 50 Centures.

You are. No.

Oh, my God.

Hey,

um... That's a camera.

Are you serious?

I thought that was for real. Oh, my God.

Everybody, it's your boy Justin Hines, and I'm representing for 50 Central on

BET. And today we're about to play a little game called Bad Impression Bingo.

Oh, there we go.

Chris Rock.

Girl, can I get your number?

Hey!

Kim Kardashian, though.

Kanye, can you get the door, Kanye? What are you doing, Kanye?

Is my butt big, Kanye?

Hey, shout out to that ass, though.

I mean that with all due respect.

Barack Obama.

What I got to say to the people is that we have to come together as American

citizens. All right. Patrick from SpongeBob. Lego.

You gave me the ugly.

Winnie the Pooh.

Try it. Try it real quick.

With a honey egg.

Wow. Arnold.

Schwarzenegger. First of all, his name is very disrespectful.

He gets away with saying every day. Or the Schwarzenegger.

This is important out here in these troubling times.

Ray Charles.

How y 'all doing this evening?

We good.

All right, all right. I know you're here because I can hear myself.

All the ladies in the house, let me hear you say something.

You don't sound too good. Twerk break.

Twerk. Twerk something.

Twerk something. Twerk something.

Twerk something.

Now, what do you have in this backpack?

So I would have the essentials.

Oh, she got a gun. She got a gun.

Lil Wayne.

I'm Lil Weezy Wee. I'm Lil Weezy Wee. Free Weezy out that contract.

Free Weezy out that contract.

So I can drop that counter for you, you whole ass.

Oh, I don't want to do that. I was trying to get her. I was trying to get

ass. I was trying to get her ass.

Beyonce, let's get it. I think it look like me scratching my head. I don't

You got to do the Beyonce uh -oh dance.

Over to these.

Taraji P. Henson, cookie on Empire.

Who do you use these collars for, Jody?

Okay. No, I'm not done with you, Jody. We gonna finish this.

Those collars weren't mine. Those were my friends.

Jody. Jody.

Jody!

Wait a minute. Is this real?

This is a real pot.

Do you wear the pot every day?

There's no days off. I mean, you gotta be dedicated.

So even in the shower?

Even in the shower. Even do intimacy.

Set time. Yeah.

Dave Chappelle.

In your face!

F your couch!

Right. You gotta jump in there.

F your couch!

F your couch! Do the Chappelle F.

Will Smith.

Let's do a little dancing.

But what about that Carlton Doe?

All right, y 'all, that was Bad Impression Bingo. I had a blast.

This is your boy, Justin Hyatt, and we'll catch you next time on 50 Central,

right here on BET.

And I'm out this day.

I got a question for you. Oh, gosh.

Have you ever been on a blind date? Mark, if you're trying to hook me up

your only black friend, it's not happening.

You know what? You should at least check out a picture of him before you make a

final decision.

Well, while he's pulling up this picture, let's check out this blind

this out. Is that big? No. Right?

Look, Reg.

Okay? I really like Lisa.

Okay? And I know you guys don't really get along, but she hooked you up.

She did. She hooked you up with somebody really like she bad, man.

She bad. She bad.

So I've heard. For real?

For real. If she looking like that, I'm going to be honest with you, Danny. I'm

going to try to smash because I got three robbers in my pocket and I'm

leave with only two of them.

Markeisha, come on, girl.

Sorry, I'm just super nervous. I don't even think I want to be here right now.

What? What are you nervous about? You look great.

I haven't even talked to a guy in person. All I've done is chat on the

for the last, like, 16 and a half months.

Okay, all right. I'm gonna need you to slow your roll because Lisa told me that

she was a class act. Please, I'm classy, fool.

I know you class... Wait, okay, here they come.

Just keep it clear. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. I'm sorry we're late.

Hey, Reggie.

Hi.

Reggie, this is Markeisha.

Markeisha. Reggie. Nice to meet you.

How you doing, baby?

I'm doing okay.

Hey, what is Markeisha doing here?

Yeah, bring an available friend.

Yeah, I said bring an available friend, not the Incredible Hulk. No, don't start

this. Hi there, friends.

Welcome. Here's some bread to get you started and some menus for you to take a

look at. Ain't got no butter. To take your order.

I think they're bringing it later.

Butter. So, uh, tell me about yourself, beautiful.

I've been obsessed with fashion since I was little. Since when you were little?

Excuse me. You know, don't mind my friend over here.

Some men are just a little intimidated about being beautiful, husky,

elegant, ferocious women like yourself.

That's a lot of adjectives.

You forgot monsters.

Excuse me. Okay, listen.

You are really bugging out. I don't know what the hell is wrong with you. No,

no, listen. I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but you're acting

Reggie's such a catch. I know that's your friend. He's been your friend a

time, but let's be real.

He ain't all that, okay? I mean, you smell like wet cigarettes half the damn

time. Yeah.

Smoking.

Yeah, I like that girl.

Them drawers about to be smoking in a minute. Oh, my God.

You see anything you liking now?

I think I do.

What you want? What you want to get a little salad or something?

Probably just like a side salad or something. I'm not really that hungry.

Looks like you can eat all the time.

Ain't nothing wrong with a woman that like to eat. Exactly. Reggie finally you

and me on the same page.

We ain't on the same page. I just like a woman that like to eat. That ain't you.

Also, I was like that.

So you're just going to come at my woman like that? That's your father. Where

your woman look like Jabba the Hutt over here. Oh, don't talk about my woman

now. Princess Leia, that's what you're looking for. You look like you catch

alligators with your mouth.

No, I don't.

You ain't finna talk about my woman. My woman look like a fine ass lettuce wrap

that I'm finna eat tonight.

Thank you. That's a compliment?

Hell yeah. That means she edible.

So anyway, what do you do exactly?

I own my own auto shop.

That's really cool. So you like fix cars or whatever? I fix a lot of things. I

give a nice tune up. Oh yeah?

Oh yeah.

So is it like a body shop?

Hell yeah.

And you got a whole lot of body. Oh, my God. Stop.

Girl, you packing. See?

Stupid. Girl, you packing like a six -pack of gum. You're so perverted.

I can't even do it. You're crazy, but it, like, kind of turns me on. It's

Yeah, call me papi. Oh, pollo loco. Do you speak Spanish?

Un poquito.

That's really hot. Can I get you guys some food? About damn time.

He's so rude. Um, can I have the filet and the lobster? Because he's paying for

all of this tonight.

And let my baby girl get whatever she want. I'm sure she want a salad or

something like that. Four steaks, brah. Thank you.

Damn. Uh, let me put that in.

Great. They don't make them like you no more, baby. They sure don't make them

like you no more.

I don't even know what's happening right now. It's just a mistake.

I'm so sorry. Apparently, for legal reasons, we have to cook the meat a

Um, excuse me, could you not touch my man?

Just touching the chair. Oh, you're touching the chair, which is touching my

man. So basically the same thing. So if you don't mind, it's getting off.

Yo, chill. Yo, get out of here. You don't need to.

Hey, baby, baby, baby. Hey, relax.

Relax.

She was just being really rude. Like, you don't need to encroach on Reggie's

personal space like that.

He's massaging her shoulder.

You called me your man.

Oh, my God, did that slip out?

I hope that's the only thing that slipped out. Oh, my God, you're such a

Oh, my God.

I'm super flustered.

Can I take you home?

I thought you'd never ask.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Damn, he's strong.

You just watched another dope episode of 50 Central.

Now watch this exclusive music video premiere.

See you next time.

Pay attention.

Man, man.

Yo!

Man, listen.

Man, listen.

All I got is the damn vision.

A couple million make you stand up.

They drop the ball and throw it around with it. I'm like, man, listen.

Man, listen.

All I got is the damn vision. A couple million make you stand up.

They drop the ball and throw it around with it.

All I got is the damn business. That's it. A couple million make you stand up.

They dropped the ball and so I ran with it. I'm like, man, listen, man, listen.

All I got is the same bitches. You dig?

A couple million make the stand up. I am. They dropped the ball and so I ran

with it. Where I come from, you can't really understand different. Hand

counting this shit till my hands blister. You can't mess up my weed

Fran Drescher.

Pinky rings, hand kisses, soprano. I feel like Pauly Castellano in Designed

Stitches. Oh, I heard him say I made Rihanna hit list.

Mind your business. What kind of honor is this? I'm trying to see Madonna, did

you? It's all kind of riches.

Hit Miami one and nine and went to finals.

Oh, everybody acting kind of vicious. These politicians won't let my brother

Muhammad visit.

I'm like, man, listen.

Man, listen.

All I got is the damn business.

A couple million make you stand up.

They trapped the ball and so I ran with it. I'm like, man, listen.

Man, listen.

We'll be right back.

All I got is the same bitches. A couple million make you stand up.

They dropped the ball and saw I ran with it. I'm like, man, listen, man, listen.

All I got is the same bitches. A couple million make you stand up. They dropped

the ball and saw I ran with it.