Original subtitles

The curse words in this message have been approved by 50 Cent.

Bitch.

Introducing 50XL Magazine's freshman class.

The hottest young and up -and -coming rappers in the game today. From the

Big Wayne.

Big Wheezy, baby.

Yeah. Becky with the big butt.

Oh, yeah.

Dyslexic. Big fidget spinner.

New crab head.

N -E -M -A with a lot to be it. And DJ X -M -A.

It's itches, bitches.

This is the 50XL Freshman Class 2017.

Sponsored by Henny. Please, Henny responsibly.

All right, all right.

Okay. These be on some.

I don't know nothing.

I'm the one these pros want. I be keeping that dough coming.

I'm on something.

That bag coming.

You know what's up.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, trick him up. Yeah.

Yeah, trick him up.

He's taking over late night drama.

Now he's taking over late night TV.

The host of 50 Centru, ladies and gentlemen, 50 Centru.

Hey,

you say New York City.

Give it up for the world famous DJ Envy.

We got another hot episode of 50 Central coming at you.

Jasmine, Kia, come out here.

All right, so 50.

Artist.

Music moguls. Now you have your own hit comedy show going on right now. How do

you do it? I just do it.

Why you being so modest?

You should teach your class. Right. You saying like everybody can do it.

Everybody can't do what you do. Or they wouldn't be doing it. These guys up next

did a pretty good job.

With that humble shit.

Oh, you do the job.

Today, these actors are coming to audition to play me.

Step on. Step on, yeah. Nice to meet you, man. Vince, man. I'm one of the

captain directors.

But what these performers don't know is they're about to get a show of their

own. You can leave the hat on if you want. I mean, it's not going to affect

anything. All right, what would you prefer?

You can put it on, man. Just go ahead and do your thing, dude.

All right, man, this is shoot, drop, and roll, the real 50 Cent story, and

you'll be reading for 50 cents.

We just basically wanted some racial diversity for this role.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So do you rap at all?

Yes, I do.

Okay, let me hear something.

All right.

My life is a prison, or more like a prism. The lyrical diabetic, your

Go bigger.

Like, much bigger. The game has evolved, because I'm straight and tall.

50 Cent, Eminem, no resemblance.

What's up, man?

Oh, what's going on, man? What's going on?

What's happening?

What's up, man? A little slower. Let me slow it. Holy shit. Oh, my God. He's

rapping for me, man. What's up, man? Oh, what's up, man?

All right, cool. Well, let's go ahead and get right into the read.

Ready when you are.

This here is about money.

My money.

That's all that matters right now.

This is good.

And you ready to snatch some collars?

I'm ready to die for this shit.

He's dope. I like this shit.

For real?

Hello?

Yeah, what's up? Why do you keep blowing up my phone? I said I would get you.

I would get it for you. Look, just get my money.

Relax, relax, relax.

Don't tell me to relax.

Yo, my son right here. I hope your son's not a bitch like you. You better hurry

up and come up with that money.

When I get it, just get it. Like, suck my... Why are you yelling on the phone?

What you saying?

I'm talking about something like sucking.

Who the fuck are you talking to?

Hurry up.

Oh, what? Oh, what? Oh, what? Oh, what? I ain't going to say that on the phone,

but you know what?

Man, I'm going to pay you, dog.

Fuck me.

Just read the damn script, man. Look, let's just find... Yeah, let's just go

ahead and get into it. Just read it, yeah.

And if you're scared, you might as well get out the car right now and go home to

your mom.

And if you're real... And if you're real... Keep going. That's good.

Keep going. Yeah, keep going.

Y 'all real?

That's the difference between us and the cities in that house.

Look, just read the lines, all right? That's the difference between us and the

cities in that house.

Take that.

Take the hat off. Take the hat off. All right.

Because you got to get this right.

Would I ever wear that hat? I'm sorry. I asked him, should I wear the hat or

not? He said I could put it on. I'm sorry.

Curtis would never wear that hat. I didn't even suggest that.

Now let's bust up into this here house party and show them who runs the block.

Oh,

he told me to go.

He told me to go up. I ain't. I never said that. That was a personal choice.

Yeah, you got to take that light just way down. Let's do like a two. That was

like a ten. So just bring it back.

I got you. But for real, don't ever try to play me in front of him like that

again. Oh, I wouldn't try to play you. He will never work again if that ever

happens again.

This motherfucker calling me again. Hold on. Hello?

Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Answer this call like you 50 Cent.

When they see this, they're going to know that you're the guy for them. This

your real audition.

Yo, yo, hold on a second. Hold on a second.

Yo.

Hello? Hello, yes.

Look, is this the bitch that got my money? This is about money, man.

This is about my money.

You understand me?

Huh? No, listen, I'm talking right now. Is this or is this not the bitch that

got my money? Why do you have a tone with me? I don't understand. Why do I

a tone with you? Because you're playing with me. Time is money, man. My time is

money. What money?

What money? Calm down, my man.

Relax. But I'm calm. Relax, relax, relax.

Why are you talking to me like this?

Shit. Hurry up.

What is today?

If you have my money, you'll see me. You can't just make excuses like that all

the time. You know, you kind of have to, like, have respect.

All right, look, listen.

I don't like the way you was coming at me, man.

I'm not sleepy. I'm not sleepy at all.

That's the last time I'm going to say it.

Do you have a casket picked out for you?

In church?

You're in the perfect place. I'll bring the casket right to the church.

You're in the perfect place.

Oh, shit.

That was my pastor.

I'm sorry.

Yo, I am sorry. I thought that was the dude that... From the first... He's my

spiritual advisor.

Sorry. Yo, that's funny. No, it's not funny. It's shock value.

Yo, you going to talk to his pastor like that? No, I didn't raise my voice. Are

you being sarcastic right now?

That was your pastor?

Because they both 818 numbers.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I don't give a shit, man. That's fine.

You don't give a shit about pastors?

Not more so than you guys.

He did it on purpose. Like, I don't know.

I'm sorry. I go to church.

He thinks that was me now. I got to call him back.

That's not good.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to send him, like, an edible arrangement or some shit.

Yeah, that's true. But I gotta be honest, I don't think he's right for

role.

It's a strong no from me.

Yeah. But I do have another project that I feel like you'd be right for.

It's called 50 Central, and you're on it right now.

I'll just...

Oh, shit!

You're on it right now.

I'm just going to run and beat you.

You're on it right now.

You're already on it.

You really should apologize to my pastor. That was a good read, man.

Y 'all was busting my chops.

Go ahead and tell the people what's the number one show on BET.

50 Central, man. Number one show on BET.

It got me good, man. It did.

Ashton ain't got nothing on 50.

All right, all right. Don't go nowhere. We'll be right back.

What's going on, party people? It's your boy Vince Swan here, and I'm out here

in the streets of Newark. You ever notice how people say that's a black

that's a white thing?

Well, we're here, and we're going to ask some people some questions in this game

we call Black, White, or Both.

You're about to play a game called Black, White, or Both, okay? I'm going

give you a couple of categories.

You have to decide whether it's a black thing, white thing, or both. Don't be

looking at my card.

Okay, you got to guess this.

All right. All right? Yeah.

You with me? Yeah, I'm with you. Okay, let's go.

Buying pumpkin spice.

Is that a white thing, black thing, or both?

I'm going to say white because I've never even heard of pumpkin spice.

You've never heard pumpkin spice?

I heard pumpkin and I heard spice, but I've never heard them two together. Two

together? No. Then, my friend, you're absolutely correct. It is a white thing.

Spanking kids in public.

Black all the way. You already know that.

Yeah, that is true. I definitely know it's a black thing because I done got

outside. I'm 26. I still get beaten in public.

That's right.

That the black kids of America are tired of being whipped and pumped.

It's embarrassing.

It's embarrassing.

This is why I love Newark. Look at the outfit, ladies and gentlemen. Go ahead

and twirl for me, please.

Girl, you better twirl. You better twirl like your life depended on it. Yes,

give them that look.

Give them that look.

Yes. 5K Tough Mudder Spartan Race.

That's right.

That's right. Do you even know what a Spartan Race is?

No.

Wine tasting.

Both.

Why is it food?

Because I'm black and I like wine as well.

Candle nights are real, aren't they?

Very real. Make sure you get that wine for 50 cents or two.

Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a proud moment for me right now. We have a

Caucasian male in Newark owning guns.

Is it a white thing, black thing, or both?

That's a both thing. Why is it a both thing? It's an American thing.

That's a sticky situation right there. Word.

What makes it sticky?

I mean, I...

Some of us use that as protection.

Okay, listen, you don't have to tell everybody that you have one on you right

now. Some of us. Okay, because you're moving a little nervous, like, hey, man,

look. I got tight jeans on. I know, I know, you got tight jeans on. Ain't

nothing bold, but I'm just saying, you know, your secret's safe with me. All

right, I got you. Saying the N -word.

Ooh.

Be careful, Jeremy.

Uh... That's black.

I say both.

Like, for me going, like, to colleges and stuff, the white people said...

Like we say.

That is only a black thing. I am so sorry. We own that shit.

That's a black thing.

Give me a high five. Another shout on that.

Go,

Jay.

White boy dance.

He's killing it.

It's lit out there on air.

In your face.

All right, all right. The show ain't over yet, so

don't go nowhere.

Because I can see you people swooning. All

right, all right.

By the way, we should just go to the movies this week. Oh, yeah.

Man, yeah, we should.

We should go see a superhero movie. Right.

Tristan, man, who's your favorite superhero?

Anything Halle Berry plays in.

Don't laugh in front of me. I want to see Thor.

Yes. Yeah. That's my... Give me some death on that one.

No,

no, no.

Thor ain't even a superhero. He a god. Why he ain't? That's like me being a fan

of Buddha, okay? No disrespect to Buddha.

All right, listen, man. What you not going to do on this show is disrespect

like that.

Show some respect. You gonna tell me what I ain't gonna do? Well, how about

this? I'll just wait for Black Baby Jesus to team up with Batman.

I'll wait for that moment, okay? You challenging me right now?

I'm not gonna sit here and be in the middle of two guys arguing about a

superhero. Why don't we check out this next sketch? One more time.

Don't tell me how many times I got.

I'll take as many times as I want.

And now, check out the sneak peek of the new movie, Spider -Man.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

You have a knack for getting in trouble.

And you have a knack for saving my life.

I think I have a superhero stalker.

I was just in the neighborhood.

Do I get to thank you this time?

Oh. What?

Nothing. It's just, um, you're not what I expected.

By that, you mean white? No. No. Maybe. You know, I should have figured.

Because you can jump so high. I can jump high because I was bitten by a

radioactive spider.

Of course. Of course.

I'm sorry.

And after my uncle got shot, I vowed to use my powers to fight crime.

Your uncle got shot? And your parents?

Also killed.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah. You don't seem to be surprised.

I feel like it's because I'm black.

No!

You know, I actually assumed that you grew up in an urban environment.

Just say black.

Everyone knows what you mean when you say urban. That is not true, okay? I

at urban outfitters all the time, and they don't have any... Coochie?

I'm not a Tim.

Well, I have you know. I'm studying to be an engineer.

Good for you.

I'm a big supporter of affirmative action.

Jesus Christ.

I got in because I'm smart. You're being very aggressive right now. Oh, now I'm

aggressive. A black man can't be passionate about his study.

Okay, now you're just being belligerent. Now I'm aggressive and belligerent. Any

other racially coded language you want to use to label me? Oh, there you go.

Play on the race card.

Next time you're in an alley gig mug, don't expect me to show up.

That's it for tonight's episode of 50 Central.

Tonight we have an exclusive music video premiere.

Check it out.

Have a late summer day.

It'll make you wonder.

You're the best with me.

But never say never.

So we can settle down when you be settling.

Mama, why you waste your time?

Won't go so far today.

You can do better.

Baby, so far, no good.

Looks like you're better.

Every day you walk away.

call me when you want more when you want more

Why won't you just wait for me, baby?

Would that something special for me, baby?

Let me tell you, walk away with something to try.

Call me when you want more, when you want more.

Call me. Call me, baby.

Call me.

Where you been my life?

Let me dress tonight.

Could be wasting time with a young boy, not tonight.

We can never handle what's like that. It's the difference between settling

and settling.

We can't afford your smile.

Never tell you walk away, but it's something that should.

Call me when you want more.