All language subtitles for Eight Is Enough s04e03 I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

When I grow up, do I have to get
married?

Oh, no, Nicholas, you don't have to get
married. You also don't have to decide

right now. Why don't you wait till you
graduate from elementary school before

giving it serious thought?

Why do you ask?

Well, I was at Kenny P. Lander's house
today, and all his parents did was yell

at each other. And I figure I get yelled
at enough as a kid. Who needs it later?

Well... Look, you can't judge marriage
by one couple. Maybe Kenny's parents

just having a bad day.

Besides, some couples show love at the
top of their lungs.

Well, at least when you're married, you
get to yell back.

Now, you got the wrong idea on marriage.
Besides the yelling, there's all kinds

of fun.

There is?

Oh, yes. You can't imagine.

Look at Abby and me.

How can I? Your door is always closed.

Oh. Well, that'd be... Nicholas, clean
the windshield.

Nicholas, the windshield.

There's a magic in the early morning we
found

When the sun...

It's a Mothra!

It is enough to fill our lives with
love.

Hi, is this Mr.

Bobby Randolph?

Well, I have a message for you from
Marsha.

Hold on.

Bobby, how I miss you, how I miss you,
my...

telegram from Hotwire.

What is Nancy doing out there? She's
earning a living. It's her new job.

Singing telegrams. Singing telegrams? I
thought they went out sometime before

World War II.

Well, they're back.

You staying for dinner? No, Janet and I
have other plans.

You've had other plans every night this
week. Don't you love us anymore?

Of course I do. It's just that Janet
feeds me better.

Don't wait up.

Did I hear singing?

Dear old Bobby didn't think so.

Nicholas, would you get that? I can't
face another critic.

Sure.

Hi, Nicholas. How's my old buddy?

Fine. Want to play some catch?

I'm sorry, Slugger. I haven't got time
right now. I've got a date with Susan.

You haven't had time to play catch ever
since you caught Susan.

Whoa!

Hello there, young lady. Well, hello
there, handsome stranger.

I thought if you weren't doing anything,
you might like to give me a kiss.

Oh, I'll think about it.

You thought long enough.

Delicious.

Must be my chocolate mint lip gloss.

No, I think it's more like your lasagna.

Oh, thanks a lot.

We've only been back together a few
weeks and already the romance has gone

of our lives. Untrue.

You see, the secret to true romance is
to avoid acting romantic.

Oh, is that so?

Especially when you're too nervous to be
romantic.

Why are you nervous?

Because I, um... To tell you the truth,
I'm about to ask you...

Janet.

Will you marry me?

Well, will you?

Our engagement ring.

You kept it.

I guess I always knew you'd come back to
me.

You will marry me.

Good coffee.

Cocoa.

Really?

I guess my mind's been kind of drifting.

Well, where to?

Well, I have something I have to tell
you. What?

I have to go on the road in a week, and
I'm going to be gone for almost a month.

Oh, Merle, a whole month?

That's forever.

I know, baby, I know, but...

Paragraph C, subsection 12 of our
contract.

Us cyclones are not allowed to take
girlfriends on the road with us.

I'm going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you, too.

Dumb paragraph C, subsection 12.

Do you really want to look?

I think it's the right look.

Why? I thought eloping was something the
kids did when they couldn't get their

parents' consent.

It's not consent that I'm worried about.
It's all the hassles.

Look, my family has been walking on
eggshells with us ever since we got back

together. They don't want to do anything
that might cause problems between us.

I've known the same as my parents.

Well, I don't want to do anything that
might cause problems for either family.

Namely, putting them through the bother
of a big wedding.

Let's just do it.

Okay, I see your point.

But why do we have to run off? Why can't
we just go down to the Justice of the

Peace and tell them that we love each
other very much?

Because I had something more romantic in
mind.

Nice little cottage on Lake Tahoe. Just
you and me.

Nice quiet weekend.

That does sound romantic.

And then Sunday morning, we'll go into
town, find a chapel, and presto, we'll

man and wife.

Man and wife?

Husband and wife?

Man and woman?

I give up. What will we be?

Hi.

May I please speak to Debbie Alpert?

Oh, this is Debbie.

Yeah, well, I have a get -well message
for you from the gang down at K &B

Upholstery.

Yeah, hold on.

How we miss you, how we miss you, our
dear old Debbie, yeah.

Hello?

Debbie?

Debbie?

I guess some people just don't want to
be cheered up.

Hi. Hi, Nancy. How's the job going?

Someone just hung up on me in the middle
of the first chorus. What does that

tell you?

Your future's net in singing telegrams?

I didn't want the phone work. I
requested the live jobs.

At least they can't hang up on you.

Well, what's the problem then?

My boss says I lack the necessary
performing skills, namely dancing.

Dancing? Oh, with an expert like
Elizabeth around to teach you? Come on,

her all the things.

Just something simple, you know, do
while you sing.

Good. All right, you have already.
Almost.

Hey, that's terrific, Nancy. No time at
all, you'll be shuffling off to Buffalo.

Yeah, with my sense of rhythm, I'll be
dancing like a buffalo.

If you don't care, just get yourself
down here.

This is important.

Okay, but you have to promise not to
look. My hair isn't curled. I don't care

about that. Just hurry up. I promise you
won't peek.

Okay, okay. Just hurry.

Now, what's so important?

Lead me into the living room.

Okay, couch is behind you.

Sit.

This could be a lot more romantic if I
could look at you. I wouldn't bet on it.

Okay.

Susan, I can't stand the thought of
being away from you for a whole month.

Merle, I know. I can't stand it either.

So I'm going to take you with me,
beautiful.

What did you say?

I said you're beautiful.

No, Merle, not that part. The part about
taking me with you. Did you forget

about subsection 12?

Nope. I remembered subsection 13.

I can't take my girlfriend.

But I can take my wife.

What?

We can get married before I leave, like
this weekend.

This weekend? You mean in a couple of
days? But, Merle, how can we get a

together by then? I mean, there's
arrangements to make, and we have to buy

clothes, and we have to get blood tests,
and...

Are

you sure this weekend's soon enough?

Oh, boy, it's meals like this that are
going to force me to wear stretch pads.

Get it out again. I think I'm going to
walk it off. Anyone want to come with

Sure, I could walk off with you on the
calorie nap. Oh, these days I'm singing

mine off.

Um, Joan and Mary, could you wait a
minute?

I'm all night having a nap.

Um,

Susan and I are pushing up our wedding
date.

All right!

Wait a minute, Nicholas.

What do you mean? How far up? To this
Sunday.

This Sunday. This Sunday. Four days from
now, Sunday.

But why?

Well, Merle has to go on a road trip on
Monday.

So? Well, Daddy's going to be gone a
whole month, and we can't stand the

of being separated that long.

Oh.

I mean, you're not going to have time to
plan anything.

Well, I was hoping all of you would
help.

Sure we'll help.

I hope this doesn't put anyone out.

Susan and Merle just announced that
they're getting married this Sunday.

Looks like we're going to have to cancel
our wedding plans.

Again.

I don't believe it. Of all days to pick,
this Sunday.

Well, there's not much we can do about
it.

I say we just go ahead with our plans.

Susan will understand.

It's not Susan I'm concerned about.

Maybe Susan's wedding.

But it is a family occasion.

Everyone should be there.

We can elope next weekend.

Two days before you start a major court
case and I start a big construction job?

No, that won't leave us much time.

We'll make time.

I mean, the whole idea was not to create
a family hassle, wasn't it?

You're wonderful, you know that?

I'm just a woman who loves you and who
understands you love your family.

I just hope my family realizes how lucky
they are to be getting you.

Well, if they don't, we'll tell them.

Okay, everybody, let's talk about
Sunday.

Elizabeth, I'd like you to make the
phone call to invite the guest.

Logical choice.

Oh, and I'd also like you to make the
wedding cake. Carrot, of course. Of

course. And I've decided to have it in
the backyard.

The cake?

No, the ceremony.

In the backyard, Susan?

Yes. Are you serious?

I think it'll be pretty with all the
trees and the flowers.

And the leaves that need to be raked and
the lawn that needs to be mowed. I

mean, where do we seat people? What do
we do for music?

Susan, this is only a couple of days
away. Come on, Mary.

Now, you guys, I thought you promised to
help me make my wedding beautiful. Do

you remember?

Right.

Okay, then we're agreed on an outdoor
wedding?

Yes, and it will be fantastic.

Good. Then I'm gonna go to the garage
and see if I can salvage that old

Yeah.

Come on, now. We're not being fair to
Susan.

I mean, maybe we all don't agree with
what she's doing, but it is her big day,

and we don't want to ruin it.

I'm sorry, Abby. It's just hard not to
worry about her, you know? I know, but

let's try.

What do you think, Dad? We'll hold a
hundred people?

A hundred?

Oh, yeah, there's 25 of the Cyclones,
not to mention the day school gang plus

family friends.

Susan, I think that maybe you better
prepare yourself for a certain amount of

fallout. I mean, some of these people
are going to have plans this weekend,

plans that they can't change so quickly.

Well, then I'll just find out who my
real friends are.

Well, wouldn't it be better if... If I
waited, is that what you're going to

Well, yes, I think it might be more
considerate to give people a little time

that they can do this right for you.
Dad, I know what's right for me, and

to marry Merle this Sunday.

You're sure about that?

Couldn't be any more sure if we'd been
engaged for ten years.

Yeah, but, I mean, you were sure about
other young men you dated, too, you

Dad, I know that I've said I've been in
love in the past, but those are just

infatuations, crushes. This is the real
thing, Dad. I know it. Well, in that

case, your love will hold until Merle
comes back. There's plenty of time.

Mary, now you.

Why is everybody fighting me on this?
Oh, no, we're not fighting you. We're on

your side.

Then stop spoiling things for me, Dad.
I'm going on that road trip with Merle.

Wouldn't you rather I go as his wife?

I just wanted to tell you, Mr. Donahue,
I've been practicing my singing and

dancing.

Yeah. And I really think I'm ready for
some live work.

But, Mr.

Donahue, if you don't give me a chance,
how will you know what I can do?

Oh, I see.

There are no live jobs?

None at all?

Okay. I'll call again next week.

Yeah. Thanks.

Bye.

Can't get a big break, huh?

Yeah, I didn't realize singing pilgrims
were such a competitive field.

Can't your dad take a day off to see you
get married?

Yeah, during harvest season, Nicholas,
there's no such thing as a day off.

You don't get the crops in on time, a
whole summer's work is lost.

There'll be plenty of people there and
tell them you'll be taking pictures so

you can show them what they missed.

Yeah, Slaughter.

Guess that's what I'll have to do.

You ever been to a wedding, Nicholas?

Uh -huh.

Dad and Abby's. I was the ring barrier.

I'd say you're an old hand at this sort
of thing.

Uh, I guess so.

Then maybe you can help me out with this
little problem.

What problem?

Well, see, I'd always promised my cousin
Fred that he'd be my best man. And

since Fred's not going to be able to
make it, I'm going to need a pinch

Now, I figure if it weren't for you, me
and Susan wouldn't be getting hitched in

the first place. So, Slugger, how'd you
like to be my best man?

Best man?

Sure, nothing to it.

I don't know. I've never been a best man
before.

I'm only ten.

Heck, Nicholas.

I got a feeling you'll be the best, best
man this side of the Ozarks.

Okay, but I'd rather be a bat boy.

Hi, Johnny.

Hi.

Well, pretty soon this will all be
yours.

Yeah.

Boy, it's going to be lonely.

I miss you snoring.

Yeah, we spent the last 21 years
together in these spacious quarters.

Yeah, we shared our secrets and our
heartaches.

Private thoughts.

Our clothes.

Yeah, that too.

And I can't think of anyone else I'd
rather share my moment with.

Joanie, I want you to be my maid of
honor.

Oh, Susan, you're maid of honor.

You happy?

Oh, of course I am. It's a great honor.

Well, frankly, Joanie, I thought you'd
be a little more enthusiastic. Oh, hey,

will be, honest.

You wait and see. Really, on Sunday,
I'll be vibrating with excitement.

You too, huh?

What do you mean?

Well, I expected static from Dad,
Joanie, but not from you.

Thanks a lot. Oh, Susan.

Susan, it's just because I care for you
so much, you know, and you're so young.

Oh, forget about it, Joanie. Susan!

Everyone calls you Bingo, huh?

Well, anyway, Bingo, my name is
Elizabeth Bradford, and I'm calling to

you to Merle and Susan's wedding this
Sunday.

Yeah, how about that? The old pearl did
finally get snagged.

By my sister.

Yes.

Well, uh, the ceremony starts at 4 o
'clock sharp.

Well, great, then we'll see you Sunday,
Bingo.

Me? No, no, I'm not married.

Uh...

Bingo. But I think I'll wait a few more
years.

Yeah, bye -bye.

How

come

I'm doing all the work?

Seniority, squirt.

That's not fair.

When will I get seniority?

Well, when Susan and Merle have their
first kid.

Really? Sure, you'll be his uncle. You
can really push the kid around.

All right.

I said a nail, not a bolt.

Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't
concentrating.

Is all this getting to you, too?

Well, I'm trying not to let it, but I
can't help but wish we were the ones

getting married on Sunday.

It's not too late to change your minds
and go to Lake Tahoe.

No, we'll have our chance.

We shouldn't spoil things for Merle and
Susan.

I'm sorry. What did you say your name
was again?

E. David Charles.

Oh, yes, yes. Now I remember. You're the
director of publicity for the Cyclones.

And a man with a very interesting
proposition for you, Tom.

May I call you Tom?

Go ahead. You have already.

Right.

Now, Tom, here's what I have in mind.

What would you think of two young
lovebirds brought together at home plate

before a grandstand of captivated fans
who send them lovingly off

down the base paths of life?

Brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?

No, it doesn't.

Think about the possibilities, Tom.

It's great publicity for the team, and
the owner will pick up all the expenses.

Look how much money it saved.

I don't care about the money. This is my
daughter's wedding. All I care about is

her happiness. What girl wouldn't be
thrilled marrying a famous pitcher in

of a throng of adoring fans?

And I suppose we'll have the umpire
perform the ceremony.

may have something there.

Of course, we couldn't use a real
umpire.

But if we dressed a minister up in a
chest protector, then perhaps we... This

ridiculous. No, this is spectacular.

You're not going to make a spectacle out
of my daughter's wedding. You may

leave, sir.

I struck out? Out!

Susan, did you know what the publicity
man from the Cyclones had in mind for

your wedding? Yes, Dad. Well, this thing
is turning into a three -ring circus.

Calm down, Dad. Merle told E. David to
forget it. You missed the point. If

you're going to make hasty decisions
like this, then you're just opening the

door to chaos.

It's not the way I wanted it, Dad.

I know that, so here's what I want you
to do. I want you to just consider

postponing the wedding to give yourself
time to think and give us time to

prepare. Right now, things are so
frantic.

Oh, I see, Dad. All this has become a
little too much for you to handle.

And for Mary and for Joanie. No, no, no.
Try to understand. I do understand,

really. We'll call it off. All right.
For how long?

Forever. Why?

We'll call off the wedding plans, Dad,
but we won't call off the marriage.

Merle and I will just elope.

We don't need a family who doesn't need
us.

Good morning.

Anybody want any breakfast?

Uh, not really.

What's the old expression?

Let them eat cake?

It sure was selfish of Susan to run off
to Reno and leave us with half a

wedding. Wait a minute. Don't blame
Susan.

Dad did a real number on her.

Don't be so quick to blame Dad either,
Tommy.

I think we all did our little number on
Susan.

I mean, you have to admit, we weren't
exactly exuberant about our plans.

Oh, boy, I sure wasn't.

She asked me to be her maid of honor.

I tried to be enthusiastic about it, you
know, but... She could see that I

didn't approve of her decision.

Which, when you think about it, is
really none of our business.

Well, it is when you care about someone.

Yeah, well, sometimes the family cares
too much. Nancy, that's not true.

It's just that when two people are in
love, they usually follow their hearts.

No matter who cares.

Oh, Abby, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you
come in. I noticed.

I guess morale's pretty low around here
for everybody today, huh?

Yeah. And as usual, I'm the villain.

That's not true. You weren't the only
one who thought Susan was being hateful.

Abby, are we wrong to try to protect our
children from hurting themselves?

No, we're not wrong.

Maybe sometimes we're just a little
overprotective.

What am I supposed to do? Tell her that
I approve of her marrying a boy that

she's only known for a month?

I have to say what I feel.

That's right. You have to say what you
feel.

And you could not have foreseen how
things were going to turn out.

I can't stop thinking.

The first of my children to get married
and I'm not even going to be there to

see it.

I thought you guys were going to set up
the trellis. Well, haven't you heard?

Susan and Merle took off to Reno. They
eloped.

They eloped?

What? Why?

I don't know. But if you find out, will
you please tell me so I can... I guess

Susan didn't figure we were too hip on
the idea of them getting married, so

split.

I don't believe it.

Neither does Dad. And if I were you, I'd
tiptoe past the study.

This is the last time I try to arrange
my life around my family.

Oh, come on, David.

Think of how much planning and arranging
our families went through for the

wedding we canceled.

Yeah.

What are we supposed to do now?

Oh, I don't know.

Get married.

Now, wait a minute. You saw what one
elopement did to this family. I don't

they could handle another.

That's not exactly what I had in mind.

What is going on in that devious little
mind of yours?

Well, since we were planning on getting
married this weekend anyway, and since

everybody was so disappointed there
isn't going to be a wedding, and...

We worked so hard to make the backyard
beautiful.

You're suggesting we take Merle and
Susan's place?

Why not?

Why not?

Well, I guess someone should think about
fixing dinner.

I'm not hungry.

You haven't eaten all day, Tom. Yeah.

You know, I'll bet Susan is married by
now.

Hi, guys. Oh, I didn't know you two were
here.

We were on the porch having a little
discussion.

Yeah, Janet and I decided if it doesn't
upset things too much, we'd like to take

Merle and Susan's place.

What was that?

You mean you guys were thinking of...
Ironically enough, we had planned a

quiet ceremony out of state, but we
shelved our plans to be here for Susan's

wedding. You want to be married?

Tomorrow? Here?

Yeah, if it's okay.

I realize we're last -minute
replacements, but I think we make a

and groom. Oh, you always hear?

Oh, dear, dear. Oh, that sucks.

I didn't mean...

Isn't that great? Thank you. Oh, really?

I don't believe it.

I just finished calling all the guests
and nobody's coming.

Nicholas has Irving J. Moore devouring
all the homemade canapes.

We still have time to put it together,
you guys.

Now that's the spirit.

What about Susan?

Joanie, it is too late to worry about
Susan.

What we have to worry about right now is
David and Janet.

Okay, I guess it's back to the phones.

If Tommy touches that cake, I'm going to
layer him. Don't worry. I'm worried.

Susan? Honey, I thought you were hungry.

I am.

You could have fooled me. You haven't
touched a bite.

Hey, see that cook over there?

He may not look like it, but he's very
sensitive about his cooking.

You don't want to hurt the big fella's
feelings, do you?

Cute's not going to work.

Can I ask you something?

Is this the way people are supposed to
act just before they get married?

speaking personally, I'm kind of excited
about it.

I'm sorry. I guess my mind wandered a
little.

Where'd it wander off to, honey?

Back about 15 years when I was a little
girl.

Yeah?

I don't know.

Well, when I was little.

On rainy days, I used to sneak up to the
attic and I'd take my mom's old wedding

dress out of the old trunk and I'd hold
it up in front of me and I'd act out the

whole ceremony.

You did?

Yeah. The old trunk would be the altar
and we had this birdcage and that would

be the creature and Mom and Dad were
always smiling at me.

So was the rest of the family.

Everybody was there.

I'd look over at my husband, and we'd be
holding hands.

And we'd kiss.

All the boxes and the cartons would
cheer, and I could hear the music from

behind the walls.

And it would get real quiet, and I could
hear the raindrops on

the roof again.

And I'd fold up the dress and put it
back in the old trunk.

For another rainy day.

Come on, let's go.

What?

I'm not going to let you miss out on
your dreams.

Yeah, that's right, Dr. Max. The wedding
is back on.

Uh -huh, yeah, same time, same place.

Different bride and groom.

Okay, we'll see you Sunday. Bye -bye.

Well, you guys, that's everybody. And
believe it or not, they're all coming.

Great. Yeah, I believe it. A Bradford
wedding is a major event.

Sure is.

Hello?

Yes, this is Nancy Bradford.

Oh, hi, Mr. Donahue.

What?

You really mean...

My brother's getting married and I... I
can do both?

What?

The telegram's for my brother and his
wife.

Wait a minute, who sent this?

Oh, I see.

And she said only I could perform it?

Well, yeah, I can handle it, sure.

Thanks. Yeah, bye.

Joanie, thanks.

Oh, you're welcome.

I got a few breaks in my time. It's nice
to give one for a change. Thank you.

What?

I don't understand.

Are you married already?

Can we talk to you, Dad?

Yes, of course.

Come in.

Dad, it was childish and selfish of me
to run away like that, and I'm sorry.

I don't know who would hurt more, you or
me.

What's done is done. Don't worry about
it. No, it's not, Dad.

We didn't go through with it, Mr. B.

You mean you're not married?

No, sir.

Susan loves y 'all so much, there's no
way we could have got married without

there. It just took me a little while to
realize it, Dad.

Oh, I'm glad you did.

You had a decision to make, and you made
it.

It was yours to make. Nobody can tell
you whether you're right or wrong. I

shouldn't have tried to.

Mr.

B?

I want you to know right now, you don't
have to worry, because I'm going to take

such good care of your little girl.

I'll do anything it takes to make her
happy.

Just wait and see.

You've already proven that, bro.

How long have they been in there?

Well, I saw them pull into the driveway
ten minutes ago. Just long enough for

Dad to hit the ceiling.

So we have your blessing?

Oh, yes, yes. You certainly have my
blessing, but I think you better check

David and Janet. They have to approve
our marriage?

If you still plan on being married here
tomorrow, they do. Wait a second.

Then aren't you two... No, we're getting
married tomorrow as planned.

That's funny. So are we.

What's going on? We sort of took your
place.

If nobody objects, I propose that we
have a double wedding.

I second the motion. Sounds good to me.

Some of my best games are double
-headers.

Well, it's up to you.

Well, this family has always been known
for its togetherness. Why stop now?

I'm gonna give you to the count of
three.

One... My uniform!

Where's my uniform?

Two!

Nancy, remember you wanted me to hand
it? Oh, thanks.

Three!

Anybody but Merle can come in.

There's no law against the father seeing
the bride, is there? No.

Susan, I was up in the attic and I
brought you this.

Your mother wanted you to wear it.

She had this wonderful dream about
watching all her daughters walk down the

aisle.

She wanted the first one of them to wear
the dress that she wore when we got

married.

She was a beautiful bride, too.

Susan, I'm sorry about everything that
happened. Oh, I'm sorry, too, Dad.

It's just that I...

I love you so much.

And gosh, you grow up so fast that I
can't stop thinking of you as my little

girl.

Daddy, I don't want you to stop
completely.

It's just, when other people are around,
let's pretend that we're a modern,

mature, liberated father and daughter.

But when we're alone, just the two of
us, I want you to be my daddy, and I

to be your little girl.

Okay, you got a deal.

I love you, Daddy.

I love you, too, little girl.

David,

you think you can give me a hand with
these cufflinks? Are you kidding? I've

been trying to do mine for the last ten
minutes.

Let me do it.

Why are you guys so nervous anyway?

Hey, slug, we're getting married in a
few minutes.

Big deal.

Hey, don't worry. Your time will come.

I'm not getting married.

Why not?

Takes your mind off important things,
like baseball.

Oh, it's just got to fit.

Calm down and suck in.

Okay. Am I in? Yeah, turn around and
see.

Oh, you look wonderful.

You really think so? Yeah, I really
think so. Oh, let me see.

Oh, no, but look at my hair. Abby, what
am I going to do with it? Oh, Susan,

relax.

Oh, I can't help it. I'm so scared.

Oh, I didn't think I'd be like this. Why
should you be different from any other

bride? Well, how did you feel?

What's it like being married?

Oh, gosh, well, there's many different
answers to that question if there are

husbands and wives.

You shouldn't compare your marriage to
anybody's. Well, were you sure about you

and Dad when...

I mean, were you sure that you were
going to be happy?

I was sure I loved your father very
much.

And I was sure I'd reached the place in
my life where I was capable of making

the sacrifices and the compromises that
are necessary for a successful marriage.

Oh.

Do you love Merle that much? Oh, Abby, I
really do.

Well, then, stop worrying.

I have a feeling you're going to do just
fine.

Oh, thanks.

Well, you know, I would have liked to
have my mother here, but I'm sure glad

that you're here.

Oh, thanks.

Hi. We finally made it.

Is that what you're wearing?

Yeah, it was my mother's dress.

It's beautiful.

I'm afraid I'm going to be a bit
underdressed. Why? What are you wearing?

You're looking at it.

Follow me.

Oh, I couldn't. Oh, but you must.

It's not doing any good just to hang you
in the closet. But, I mean, it's yours.

I mean, it's your wedding dress. I know.

So maybe we'll start a new Bradford
family tradition that all the women

into this family must do so in this
dress.

Well, I hope Tommy and Nicholas marry
girls who are a size eight. Yeah.

We're so happy for you.

There you are, you old son of a gun. How
did you manage it? Getting rid of two

of them at the same time. You know me,
Greg. When it comes to kids, I deal in

volume. Everything looks super.

Well, the kids did it all.

Twice. Now remember, fellas, be on your
best behavior. We don't want to

embarrass the team. Right, Mr. Charles.
And bingo, you think you can take that

gum out of your mouth? This is a classy
affair.

Right, Mr. Charles.

Ladies.

Mr. Bradford.

I'm glad to know you're not the kind of
man to hold a grudge. Oh, no, no, that's

all right. I'm just glad that you could
come.

And I've got to admit, this is a lot
nicer than the infield. Yep, that grass

sure is a lot softer on the old cleats.

Are you ready? Oh, yeah, just a minute,
Dad.

There's Janet's father.

Hi.

Tom. I just want to reiterate what I
said over the phone. I fully intend on

splitting everything 50 -50. Oh, well,
that's very generous of you, but... Oh,

no, no, no, I insist.

I only wish you'd let me and Sylvia in
on the planning.

You know, that's part of the privilege
of giving away the bride. Yeah, well,

we'll discuss it later. Right now, I
want to make sure they get married.

Oh, not yet, ma 'am.

I can't help it.

Everything is just so beautiful.

Anyway, I always cry at weddings.

Except my own.

Well, this is it.

Good luck.

You too.

Susan, I think they're ready. Come on,
Sylvie.

Susan, you look absolutely beautiful.
You do.

Susan, I want to apologize for being so
insensitive.

I'm just glad you came back to share it
with us.

I love you.

Oh, I understand.

It's just there's a little bit of dad in
all of this.

The only family I still make house calls
for.

Please be seated.

Who gives these brides away?

We do.

Today I've been given the opportunity to
perform the happiest and most

gratifying of a cleric's duties.

To join in holy matrimony two people.

Four people.

Who have chosen to make a lifetime
commitment to each other.

The Greek poet Aristophanes once
theorized about the quest of love.

He said that at creation humans were
created as one being.

Half man, half woman.

At birth, these two halves were
separated, torn apart and placed in

wombs. And from that time of birth,
these torn halves search for each other.

That is the quest of love.

And when the quest is over and love has
been found, there is a marriage.

The joining again of these two halves
into one whole being.

Here today we witness this holy reunion.

David and Janet.

Susan and Merle, you may say your vows
now.

I, David Bradford, take Janet MacArthur
to be my wedded wife, to have...

And to hold from this day forward.

For better, for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness... And

in health.

To love, honor, and respect till
death... Do us part.

Do you, David Bradford, take Janet to be
your wife?

I do.

Do you, Janet, take David as your
husband?

I do.

Do you, Merle Stockwell, take Susan to
be your wife?

I sure do.

Do you, Susan, take Merle to be your
husband?

I do.

And by the power vested in me by this
state, it is my honor to pronounce you

all.

Husbands and wives.

Brooms, you may kiss your brides.

All right!

Well, we did it. And it didn't turn out
too bad, either.

Kidding? It was beautiful. It sure was.

You know, I can't believe it. Two of my
children actually married. Yeah, but,

Dad, you got six more to go.

Do me a favor. Don't rush. I don't think
I can take it six more times.

Hey, Dad, it could have been sooner than
you thought. I came pretty close to

catching the bouquet.

You came close?

Elizabeth, I came that close to it. I
touched it for a second.

So who finally did catch it?

Bingo, Bigelow.

Oh, well, he is a catcher.

Guys, where is everybody, huh? Oh,
Nancy, you're too late. They took off

already. Yeah, but I didn't get a chance
to sing my telegram. Oh, all right,

Nancy, you're center stage.

This I got to hear. Yeah, come on.

Dave and Janet got married, and so did
Susan and

Merle.

Just wild.