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1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,669
( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing)
2
00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:13,095
♪ Love ♪
3
00:00:14,898 --> 00:00:17,282
♪ Exciting and new ♪
4
00:00:18,535 --> 00:00:20,836
♪ Come aboard ♪
5
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:26,686
♪ We're expecting you ♪
6
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:29,260
♪ And love ♪
7
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:34,944
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
8
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,902
♪ Let it flow ♪
9
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:43,119
♪ It floats back to you ♪
10
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:46,522
♪ The Love Boat ♪
11
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:51,494
♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪
12
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:54,764
♪ The Love Boat ♪
13
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:59,268
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
14
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,470
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
15
00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:05,731
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
16
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:11,014
♪ And love ♪
17
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:14,139
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
18
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:19,189
♪ It's an open smile ♪
19
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:23,526
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
20
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:27,997
♪ It's love ♪
21
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:33,691
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
22
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,965
( majestic theme playing)
23
00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:51,693
( indistinct chattering)
24
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:03,466
Good morning.
25
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:04,467
Oh, good morning.
26
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:05,802
I'm Captain Stubing.
27
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,570
Oh, I'm Eleanor Gardener.
28
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,005
Welcome aboard. Thank you.
29
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,474
Have you sailed with us before?
30
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:13,832
Oh, no, no. No, I'm a
novice. This is my first cruise.
31
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:18,181
Tell me, do they
have organized tours
32
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:21,401
at ports like Mazatlán
or Puerto Vallarta?
33
00:02:21,425 --> 00:02:23,736
Yes, we can give
you that information
34
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:24,870
in the Purser's Lobby.
35
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:26,856
Oh.
36
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,327
Uh, but when we get to port,
37
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:32,745
would you care for
a personal escort?
38
00:02:32,769 --> 00:02:34,847
Oh.
39
00:02:34,871 --> 00:02:36,449
Well, that sounds
very interesting.
40
00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:38,513
I'll ask my husband
when he comes aboard.
41
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,243
Husband?
42
00:02:43,179 --> 00:02:45,725
My husband is Dr. Todd
Gardener, the author.
43
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:48,294
Mrs. Gardener. ( laughs)
44
00:02:48,318 --> 00:02:50,838
I'll check out that information.
45
00:02:51,521 --> 00:02:53,799
Please, don't
hesitate to call me
46
00:02:53,823 --> 00:02:57,337
if you need anything,
anywhere, at any time.
47
00:02:57,361 --> 00:03:00,261
Until then, have a wonderful
cruise, and welcome aboard.
48
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,294
GOPHER: So I'll see
you around the ship.
49
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,495
Okay, bye-bye.
50
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,959
Uh, Gardener. Dr. Todd Gardener.
51
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,366
Gopher? What?
52
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:11,956
Gardener.
53
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,887
Dr. Gardener? Yes, dear.
54
00:03:14,911 --> 00:03:16,289
I'm Nancy Bishop. Hi.
55
00:03:16,313 --> 00:03:17,690
Have we met?
56
00:03:17,714 --> 00:03:20,177
No, but your picture's
on the jacket of your book.
57
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,444
Oh, right.
58
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,180
Dr. Gardener wrote
The Now Marriage.
59
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,748
Oh, I don't believe I'm
familiar with your book.
60
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,283
It's all about open marriage,
61
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:30,803
where husbands and wives
agree to have other relationships.
62
00:03:30,827 --> 00:03:32,472
Yes.
63
00:03:32,496 --> 00:03:34,340
Other relationships.
64
00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:35,642
You mean like fooling around?
65
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:36,746
Gopher.
66
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:42,265
Ah, yes, Dr. and Mrs. Gardener
67
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:45,018
are in Cabin 350 on
the Promenade Deck.
68
00:03:45,042 --> 00:03:46,819
Well, how about that?
69
00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:48,855
Your cabin's right
down the hall from mine.
70
00:03:48,879 --> 00:03:52,942
Well, good, I've always believed
in the good-neighbor policy.
71
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,198
Excusez-moi.
72
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,413
I'd like to get a
copy of his book.
73
00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,414
Yeah.
74
00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,782
I'd like to read it.
75
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,286
I'd like to shove
it down his throat.
76
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:06,444
( jazzy theme playing)
77
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,628
Can I help you, ma'am?
78
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:15,265
Oh, thank you.
Um, I'm Irene Austin.
79
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,400
Oh, Mrs. Austin, you're
on the Promenade Deck,
80
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:22,138
Cabin 346, and your friend
Mr. Hopkins will be in 348.
81
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,739
Mr. Hopkins hasn't checked in?
82
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,108
Not yet, no.
83
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:28,144
Oh, good. I have some time
to make some major repairs.
84
00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:30,730
Oh, you don't need
repairs. You look wonderful.
85
00:04:30,754 --> 00:04:32,464
For an older woman.
86
00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:34,767
Oh, I don't know why I let
Andy talk me into this crazy idea
87
00:04:34,791 --> 00:04:35,768
in the first place.
88
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,103
Pardon me?
89
00:04:37,127 --> 00:04:40,106
He's expecting the Irene
Austin he knew in college.
90
00:04:40,130 --> 00:04:41,440
That's 40...
91
00:04:41,464 --> 00:04:43,493
Well, count them, 40 years ago.
92
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,528
You haven't seen him since then?
93
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:49,666
Well, we've kept in touch.
Christmas cards, letters.
94
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,334
When Andy found
out about my divorce,
95
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:54,170
he wrote and suggested
that we meet again, here.
96
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:56,678
That's what I call romantic.
97
00:04:58,815 --> 00:05:00,760
But what if he
doesn't recognize me?
98
00:05:00,784 --> 00:05:04,363
Mrs. Austin, he's
40 years older too.
99
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,015
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
100
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,384
And for all I know, he could
be a baldheaded old man
101
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:11,888
with a potbelly.
Yeah. ( both laugh)
102
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,222
We'll make a perfect pair.
103
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,274
GOPHER: Okay, Mr. Hopkins.
104
00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:17,276
Promenade Deck is
just up those stairs,
105
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:18,611
348's to your right.
106
00:05:18,635 --> 00:05:19,645
( gasps)
107
00:05:19,669 --> 00:05:21,481
It's him. Oh, my God.
108
00:05:21,505 --> 00:05:24,200
Oh, my God, he's
so young-looking.
109
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:25,635
Have yourself a
wonderful cruise.
110
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,972
I'm sure I will.
I'm sure I will.
111
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:29,956
( chuckles)
112
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:31,657
Well, he is a good-looking guy.
113
00:05:31,681 --> 00:05:32,792
I'll go tell him you're here.
114
00:05:32,816 --> 00:05:34,294
No, no. I'm going to my cabin.
115
00:05:34,318 --> 00:05:36,162
Okay. But, you know,
he's gonna ask about you.
116
00:05:36,186 --> 00:05:37,163
What do I tell him?
117
00:05:37,187 --> 00:05:38,531
Don't tell him
anything. Nothing.
118
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:39,899
Just find him
somebody his own age.
119
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:40,933
Okay.
120
00:05:40,957 --> 00:05:42,597
Bye. Bye.
121
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,861
Hello, darling.
122
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,096
Julie, Gopher,
123
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,865
I'd like you to meet my
ex-, ex-, ex-, ex-wife,
124
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,700
the incomparable Betty Bricker.
125
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,035
How do you do? How do you do?
126
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,486
So nice to meet
you. Nice to meet you.
127
00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:03,206
Well, it won't be
Bricker much longer.
128
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:06,609
Adam, I'd like you to meet
the incomparable Lance Wilson,
129
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:07,833
my betrothed.
130
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:12,465
Believe me, darling, it
wasn't easy to replace you,
131
00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:13,733
but then Lance came along,
132
00:06:13,757 --> 00:06:16,068
and he's so immensely
wealthy and successful
133
00:06:16,092 --> 00:06:17,670
and, of course,
when it came to looks,
134
00:06:17,694 --> 00:06:19,895
there was no comparison.
135
00:06:21,898 --> 00:06:24,060
Uh, welcome aboard, Lance.
136
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:26,095
Well, thanks, guys and gal.
137
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,481
( both laugh)
138
00:06:28,505 --> 00:06:31,918
Well, I guess we should go
to our cabin, Lancey baby.
139
00:06:31,942 --> 00:06:33,586
Hm? Hey, no sense in you tiring
140
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,955
those pretty little
legs of yours.
141
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,099
Whoa. ( squeals, laughs)
142
00:06:39,216 --> 00:06:41,844
BETTY: Oh, you are
absolutely fabulous.
143
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,179
Baby, push the
up button, please.
144
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,631
I certainly will. ( laughs)
145
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,333
I don't know what
she sees in him.
146
00:06:47,357 --> 00:06:49,102
Yeah, he's nothing.
147
00:06:49,126 --> 00:06:52,472
Tall, dark, handsome,
debonair, gorgeous.
148
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:54,529
Yeah, he's nothing.
149
00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:58,533
So I was wrong.
150
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,635
You can put me down now.
151
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,303
But I like holding you.
152
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,404
Besides, as an actor,
153
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,806
it's helping me
get into my role.
154
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:12,575
Well, just remember
it's only a role.
155
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,177
I hired you to play my fiancé
156
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,479
for one reason and
one reason only:
157
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:17,947
To get Doc back.
158
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,817
All right. I'm just practicing
for the honeymoon.
159
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,319
And when I carry you across
that threshold, I'm gonna...
160
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,989
Lance, there's no audience here.
161
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,145
Hm?
162
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,582
( mellow theme playing)
163
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,411
Yes? Irene.
164
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:49,935
No.
165
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,458
( foghorn sounding) (
grandiose theme playing)
166
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:04,727
There seem to be some
very attractive people onboard.
167
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,796
We should meet them.
168
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,532
I'm already married to
a very attractive man.
169
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,367
Well, thank you.
170
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,936
Besides, I have a
confession to make.
171
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,305
I brought my date with me.
172
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,974
You did? Mm-hm.
173
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,442
Ernest Hemingway. We've
been having an affair for years.
174
00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:24,580
So you see, I don't
need any new affairs.
175
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,315
Is that your oblique way
176
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,118
of saying you think I
want to have an affair?
177
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,386
Hm!
178
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,420
Look, Eleanor,
179
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,188
let me try and
explain one last time.
180
00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:36,091
When I wrote about open
marriage, it was just a theory,
181
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:37,693
a way to help couples circumvent
182
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,829
the unnatural
restrictions of monogamy
183
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,297
and deepen their
love for one another
184
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,499
by enriching their own lives.
185
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,868
Since that time,
I've seen it work.
186
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:47,519
I've helped a lot of
couples stay together.
187
00:08:47,543 --> 00:08:49,622
You've had a
lot of failures too.
188
00:08:49,646 --> 00:08:51,057
Ah-ha, that's
part of the theory.
189
00:08:51,081 --> 00:08:53,848
If a marriage doesn't work
out, it wasn't meant to be.
190
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,663
I'm happy with you.
Aren't you happy with me?
191
00:08:57,687 --> 00:09:00,666
Well, of course I am.
192
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:02,935
I just don't see
how it could hurt us
193
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,171
to try some new relationships.
194
00:09:05,195 --> 00:09:07,373
( chuckles)
195
00:09:07,397 --> 00:09:09,208
I know you believe
in what you're saying,
196
00:09:09,232 --> 00:09:12,111
so I'm not going to
stand in your way.
197
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:15,253
But as for me, I'll stick
with my old relationships.
198
00:09:16,506 --> 00:09:17,989
Ernest
199
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,070
and you.
200
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,728
( romantic theme playing)
201
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,422
Hey.
202
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,323
Hey, nice bathing suit.
203
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,592
Thank you.
204
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,661
I bought it in the men's
shop. All I did was...
205
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,229
sign your name.
206
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,565
Lance, I'm not made of money.
207
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,434
Nobody in theater
expects an actor
208
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,936
to supply his own wardrobe.
209
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,638
Oh, well, it's just
a bathing suit.
210
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,179
And a new tuxedo
and dress shirt.
211
00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:00,577
Lance.
212
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,400
I bought the bow tie.
213
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,071
( sighs)
214
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,385
Oh, by the way,
we're having dinner
215
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,688
at the captain's table tonight.
216
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,155
Eight o'clock sharp.
217
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,624
Really? Mm-hm.
218
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:17,293
I wonder what time it is now.
219
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:19,128
A watch too?
220
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,797
That's a very important prop.
221
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,999
Take it back.
222
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,366
What's my motivation?
223
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:26,368
Your motivation is, if
you don't take it back,
224
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:29,839
I'm gonna break both your legs.
225
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:30,840
That works for me.
226
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:31,864
( chuckles)
227
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,325
Andy, may I talk to you?
228
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:52,283
ANDY: Huh? Oh, uh, sure.
229
00:10:55,389 --> 00:10:57,469
Andy, there's something
I have to tell you.
230
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,505
If you're not Irene Austin,
231
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,440
you're close enough
to be her sister.
232
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,375
That's what I wanna tell you.
233
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:10,067
I'm, uh... I'm her
older sister, Althea.
234
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:13,549
I didn't know
Irene had a sister.
235
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:17,654
Oh, brothers, sisters.
She's got them all.
236
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:20,723
Well, uh, Althea,
237
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:23,481
uh, how come Irene
didn't make the cruise?
238
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:28,665
She, um... Well, she
just changed her mind.
239
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,233
She decided to go
back to her ex-husband.
240
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,037
Oh, I get the picture.
241
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:37,706
Oh, but she's sorry.
She's really sorry.
242
00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:38,730
A lot.
243
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:44,080
Well, you tell Irene
no hard feelings.
244
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:47,950
I hope she's very happy.
245
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:49,785
I'll tell her.
246
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,809
I'll... I'll tell her.
247
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,881
I'll also tell her
she's an idiot.
248
00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,683
( wistful theme playing)
249
00:12:01,872 --> 00:12:02,849
What do I owe you?
250
00:12:02,873 --> 00:12:04,216
Nothing.
251
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,518
Compliments of the lady.
252
00:12:05,542 --> 00:12:06,741
Lady?
253
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,530
Oh, yes, thank you.
254
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,916
Well, hi, neighbor.
255
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:22,785
Hi. Neighbor and fan.
256
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:26,122
Oh, the book.
What did you, uh...?
257
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,256
What did you think of it?
258
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,892
I'm always interested
in a lay opinion.
259
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,545
Well, you won't get one
from me. I'm a psych major.
260
00:12:32,569 --> 00:12:36,983
I'm doing postgraduate work
on the sexual revolt of the '70s.
261
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,585
And you think my
book is revolting?
262
00:12:39,609 --> 00:12:41,887
Don't tell me my
idol has clay feet.
263
00:12:41,911 --> 00:12:44,490
No, just cold feet.
264
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,625
Tell me, how do I...?
265
00:12:46,649 --> 00:12:49,945
How do I get up enough
nerve to ask you to dinner?
266
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,847
Are you nervous?
267
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,949
Oh, I get it. Your wife, right?
268
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:56,585
Oh, no. No,
that's not it at all.
269
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,654
I'm free to practice
what I preach.
270
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:02,158
Well, doctor, what you
need is a little less preaching
271
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,843
and a little more practice.
272
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:07,034
Why don't you meet
me at 6:00 for cocktails?
273
00:13:08,471 --> 00:13:11,172
Six for cocktails.
274
00:13:12,675 --> 00:13:13,675
( whistles)
275
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,363
Don't tell me
you're still hiding
276
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,832
from that nice Mr. Hopkins.
277
00:13:26,856 --> 00:13:30,335
Worse than that, Julie.
I told him I didn't come.
278
00:13:30,359 --> 00:13:33,039
I told him I went back
to my ex-husband.
279
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,640
I claimed to be somebody else.
280
00:13:34,664 --> 00:13:36,508
Oh.
281
00:13:36,532 --> 00:13:40,046
And the thing about it
is, Julie, you were right.
282
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,982
He is that nice Mr. Hopkins.
283
00:13:43,006 --> 00:13:46,318
Really nice Mr. Hopkins.
284
00:13:46,342 --> 00:13:50,712
And... Oh, rats.
285
00:13:59,705 --> 00:14:01,372
( stirring theme playing)
286
00:14:15,905 --> 00:14:17,249
Hi, honey.
287
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,118
Glad to see you finally
got out of the cabin.
288
00:14:19,142 --> 00:14:23,039
Well, I was going to go
into the lounge for a drink.
289
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,774
Look, how about you buying me
290
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:26,742
a margarita, good-looking?
291
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:29,378
Well, as a matter of fact,
292
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,485
I already have a
date for cocktails.
293
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,350
Oh.
294
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,419
I'll cancel if you want.
295
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,537
An open marriage has
to be a two-way street.
296
00:14:38,561 --> 00:14:42,225
I mean, there's no point...
No. No, no, that's all right.
297
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,497
You go ahead.
298
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,418
Really.
299
00:14:47,670 --> 00:14:49,998
Thanks. I was counting
on your support.
300
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:52,351
( chuckles)
301
00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:53,953
What about dinner?
302
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:54,987
Us?
303
00:14:55,011 --> 00:14:58,290
No, I mean you
and the girl, silly.
304
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:01,577
Well, well, you go
ahead. I'll be fine.
305
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:02,778
You sure?
306
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,830
Of course.
307
00:15:04,854 --> 00:15:06,398
That's my girl.
308
00:15:06,422 --> 00:15:08,434
( chuckles)
309
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:09,458
You're the best.
310
00:15:10,526 --> 00:15:11,659
Mwah.
311
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:20,417
( accordion music playing)
312
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,806
Good evening. Good evening.
313
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:48,824
Good evening.
314
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,992
ALL: Good evening.
315
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,599
Excuse us. Excuse us.
316
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:55,965
Adam, would you be a dear
317
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,733
and tell us how to get
to the captain's table?
318
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,886
Of course. You start as a
midshipman and work your way up.
319
00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:02,688
( laughs)
320
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,112
Oh, Adam, you still don't
have any sense of humor.
321
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,344
Oh, incidentally, Adam,
322
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:11,079
Lance owns several
large hospitals.
323
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:13,415
Just in case you ever tire
of being the Dr. Schweitzer
324
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,318
of the seasick
and the sunburned.
325
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,803
Ha-ha. Follow me, please.
326
00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:20,205
Why didn't you tell me
about owning hospitals?
327
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,297
I could have done a whole
scene from Marcus Welby.
328
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,771
Hi. Hi.
329
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:41,810
I will put on my fanciest
duds and my sexiest perfume.
330
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,314
I'm gonna make
you forget my sister.
331
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:48,050
That's not going to be easy.
332
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:52,710
I've been in love with Irene
as long as I can remember.
333
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,383
Good evening, Mrs. Gardener.
334
00:17:04,407 --> 00:17:06,740
Oh, good evening, captain.
335
00:17:27,831 --> 00:17:30,409
We met at a Las
Vegas gambling casino.
336
00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:34,663
Lance had $15,000 riding
on a hand of blackjack,
337
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,348
and he already
had the dealer beat.
338
00:17:36,372 --> 00:17:38,350
And suddenly I walk by.
339
00:17:38,374 --> 00:17:41,887
And he folds his hand,
and he follows me.
340
00:17:41,911 --> 00:17:43,422
( laughs)
341
00:17:43,446 --> 00:17:45,457
What was it you said
about that, honey?
342
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:48,093
Hm? Oh! Uh, it was...
343
00:17:48,117 --> 00:17:50,217
Easy come, easy
go. Right? Right.
344
00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:52,614
( both laugh)
345
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:53,949
Oh... That wasn't in the script.
346
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,819
Haven't you ever
heard of an ad lib?
347
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,083
Doc, we haven't heard
any of your stories tonight.
348
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,524
Why don't you tell
us about the time
349
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,580
you saved the life
of Howard Hughes?
350
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:10,432
Oh, it was really nothing much.
351
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,969
Well, we were in the
vicinity of his private yacht
352
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,538
when we received
a distress signal.
353
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:19,107
The distress signal
came... Waiter?
354
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:22,599
Champagne for everyone
at the table, please.
355
00:18:26,622 --> 00:18:29,034
Well, we were near
his private yacht
356
00:18:29,058 --> 00:18:31,821
when we received
this distress signal.
357
00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:33,956
Waiter, uh,
358
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:37,114
make that champagne for everyone
at the surrounding tables too.
359
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,166
Well, we received
this distress signal.
360
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,523
Excuse me, will you?
361
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,223
Doc.
362
00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:52,379
Story.
363
00:18:53,449 --> 00:18:57,167
Well, I forget.
364
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,354
( majestic theme playing)
365
00:19:14,337 --> 00:19:15,847
Mrs. Gardener.
366
00:19:15,871 --> 00:19:17,782
( sniffles)
367
00:19:17,806 --> 00:19:19,617
Is there anything I can do?
368
00:19:19,641 --> 00:19:21,886
Do?
369
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:24,923
I see what's happening.
370
00:19:24,947 --> 00:19:28,427
I just thought you might
like someone to talk to,
371
00:19:28,451 --> 00:19:30,963
a shoulder to cry on,
372
00:19:30,987 --> 00:19:33,698
even though it is the
shoulder of a stranger.
373
00:19:33,722 --> 00:19:37,569
Oh, thank you, captain.
Oh, you've got it all wrong.
374
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,404
I, uh...
375
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:44,064
I'm encouraging my husband
to see that young woman.
376
00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:48,847
He thinks somehow
377
00:19:48,871 --> 00:19:53,685
it will help our
marriage, and, uh...
378
00:19:53,709 --> 00:19:56,121
( whimpering)
379
00:19:56,145 --> 00:20:00,614
somehow he really
believes in what he's doing.
380
00:20:02,318 --> 00:20:04,929
Maybe he does.
381
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,686
I don't.
382
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,735
I don't think you do either.
383
00:20:10,759 --> 00:20:12,371
Oh.
384
00:20:12,395 --> 00:20:13,938
Captain,
385
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:20,000
I think I'll take that
shoulder after all.
386
00:20:22,238 --> 00:20:23,238
( sniffles)
387
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,492
( soft dance music playing)
388
00:20:58,023 --> 00:20:59,623
( all applaud)
389
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,876
Irene told me what a
wonderful dancer you were.
390
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,546
She's a wonderful girl.
391
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:13,682
There's only one Irene.
392
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,652
Uh, what else did
she tell you about me?
393
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,654
Well, she told me about
the night you pinned her
394
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:20,355
at your fraternity house.
395
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:24,492
And she also told me what
happened at the lake later.
396
00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:26,912
( chuckles)
397
00:21:26,936 --> 00:21:30,148
You know, uh, after
Irene got married,
398
00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:32,339
she sent my fraternity
pin back to me.
399
00:21:34,143 --> 00:21:35,354
It may sound silly,
400
00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:38,729
but I was hoping, uh, I
could pin it on her again.
401
00:21:40,316 --> 00:21:42,011
May I see it, please?
402
00:21:42,035 --> 00:21:44,480
Oh, of course.
403
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,315
You can have it if you'd like.
404
00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:48,950
I have no use for
it anymore, now.
405
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,320
Oh, no, I... I couldn't.
406
00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:55,312
You'll find somebody
nice to give it to, someday.
407
00:21:57,116 --> 00:22:00,651
I've already found
somebody nice to give it to.
408
00:22:03,056 --> 00:22:04,056
Oh.
409
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:15,109
I still can't believe
I'm here with you.
410
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:16,445
I mean, I knew from your book
411
00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:18,680
that you were a warm
and giving person.
412
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:21,383
When you're with the right
person, it's not the giving.
413
00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:22,718
It's the sharing.
414
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,619
Exactly.
415
00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:27,188
I feel I can share
so much with you.
416
00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:28,957
You have a way
of making a person
417
00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:31,226
really get in touch
with her feelings.
418
00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:34,128
And you have a way of helping
a person get back in touch
419
00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:35,864
with the feelings
he thought he'd lost.
420
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:37,198
Oh, Todd.
421
00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:38,633
You know, sometimes in our work,
422
00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:40,535
we talk about
interpersonal relationships
423
00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:42,471
until the words almost
lose their meaning.
424
00:22:42,495 --> 00:22:43,638
Mm-hm.
425
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:45,674
And then we have to
find the meaning again.
426
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,831
I think we have.
427
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,424
( soft jazz music playing)
428
00:22:58,861 --> 00:23:01,739
I feel foolish coming
in here with you.
429
00:23:01,763 --> 00:23:04,409
I feel honored coming
in here with you.
430
00:23:04,433 --> 00:23:06,578
Even though I'm a married lady?
431
00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:07,879
I'll introduce you as my niece.
432
00:23:07,903 --> 00:23:09,047
( both laugh)
433
00:23:09,071 --> 00:23:10,648
You see, just because
you're miserable,
434
00:23:10,672 --> 00:23:12,772
doesn't mean you
shouldn't have fun.
435
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:36,374
Why'd she have
to bring him here?
436
00:23:36,398 --> 00:23:38,176
Free country.
437
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,412
Hey, Doc, being
divorced from Betty
438
00:23:40,436 --> 00:23:42,796
hasn't slowed you
down up till now.
439
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:45,149
You guys.
440
00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:47,252
You think of me as
this sophisticated,
441
00:23:47,276 --> 00:23:51,740
extremely charming man
that all the women go wild for
442
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:55,778
when really I'm a lonely wretch
who spends his life wondering
443
00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:58,613
why he can't keep the
love of a good woman.
444
00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:02,450
There was a time when I thought
Betty and I could last forever.
445
00:24:02,474 --> 00:24:04,820
But then... You started
dating some blond.
446
00:24:04,844 --> 00:24:06,443
How'd you find out about that?
447
00:24:07,763 --> 00:24:09,713
( people applauding)
448
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,128
Wait here, darling.
449
00:24:13,152 --> 00:24:15,964
You know how Lance
is quietly powerful?
450
00:24:15,988 --> 00:24:19,634
You're noisily lecherous.
451
00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:20,919
Hey, Betty. Here's your drink.
452
00:24:20,943 --> 00:24:24,155
Oh, thank you,
Isaac. I really need it.
453
00:24:24,179 --> 00:24:25,211
Mm.
454
00:24:26,482 --> 00:24:28,226
Lance is just
dancing my feet off.
455
00:24:28,250 --> 00:24:29,895
Betty, where did we go wrong?
456
00:24:29,919 --> 00:24:33,353
Oh, darling, who
cares? Who cares?
457
00:24:42,748 --> 00:24:44,181
( majestic theme playing)
458
00:24:46,435 --> 00:24:49,081
Oh, I had a wonderful
time tonight, Andy.
459
00:24:49,105 --> 00:24:50,582
So did I.
460
00:24:50,606 --> 00:24:53,185
I'm sorry about all this.
461
00:24:53,209 --> 00:24:54,920
I mean, if my sister
wanted to change her mind
462
00:24:54,944 --> 00:24:56,621
about meeting you here,
463
00:24:56,645 --> 00:24:59,191
she could have had the decency
to at least call you and say so.
464
00:24:59,215 --> 00:25:01,026
Oh, it's okay.
465
00:25:01,050 --> 00:25:03,570
I have to thank Irene
for sending you onboard.
466
00:25:04,653 --> 00:25:06,265
In fact,
467
00:25:06,289 --> 00:25:08,956
I wonder if you'd
give her this for me.
468
00:25:15,531 --> 00:25:19,044
Or, uh, if you like,
469
00:25:19,068 --> 00:25:21,302
maybe you could
keep it for yourself.
470
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:33,697
( grandiose theme playing)
471
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:53,078
You don't have to tiptoe.
472
00:25:53,102 --> 00:25:54,835
I'm awake.
473
00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:58,438
( sighs)
474
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:01,808
You've been crying. No kidding.
475
00:26:02,878 --> 00:26:06,179
Todd, it's 4:00 in the morning.
476
00:26:09,018 --> 00:26:10,294
I knew it was gonna
be hard for you
477
00:26:10,318 --> 00:26:12,678
to control your
feelings of rejection.
478
00:26:13,789 --> 00:26:16,201
Hey.
479
00:26:16,225 --> 00:26:18,103
You know I wouldn't
do anything to hurt you.
480
00:26:18,127 --> 00:26:21,673
Well, you are doing
something to hurt me.
481
00:26:21,697 --> 00:26:23,842
I don't get it.
482
00:26:23,866 --> 00:26:26,566
You agreed to all of
this in the beginning.
483
00:26:29,939 --> 00:26:31,883
You're right.
484
00:26:31,907 --> 00:26:33,969
I haven't been spending
any time with you.
485
00:26:33,993 --> 00:26:37,055
How about breakfast together?
486
00:26:37,079 --> 00:26:40,641
Bloody Marys, blueberry
waffles, the works.
487
00:26:40,665 --> 00:26:42,443
I, um...
488
00:26:42,467 --> 00:26:45,135
I... I already have
a date for breakfast.
489
00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:48,655
Oh? Mm-hm.
490
00:26:52,594 --> 00:26:54,261
( dramatic theme playing)
491
00:26:59,969 --> 00:27:01,880
Thanks for bailing me out.
492
00:27:01,904 --> 00:27:03,014
Well, it's always a pleasure
493
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:05,951
to have breakfast
with a beautiful lady.
494
00:27:05,975 --> 00:27:08,070
You know, I've never
lied to Todd before,
495
00:27:08,094 --> 00:27:10,805
but suddenly last night
496
00:27:10,829 --> 00:27:14,276
it just seemed very
important to say I had a date.
497
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,578
I understand perfectly.
498
00:27:16,602 --> 00:27:18,480
Right now, it's very important
499
00:27:18,504 --> 00:27:20,587
for me to say
that I have a date.
500
00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:24,624
With you.
501
00:27:27,679 --> 00:27:29,758
To tour Puerto
Vallarta this afternoon.
502
00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:30,859
( chuckles)
503
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:32,260
Oh, Merrill,
504
00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:35,897
I just feel I'm using you
to get back at my husband.
505
00:27:35,921 --> 00:27:38,099
Well, maybe I'm using you.
506
00:27:38,123 --> 00:27:40,802
Maybe I'm taking
advantage of a time
507
00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:43,794
when you're confused and upset.
508
00:27:45,848 --> 00:27:47,158
Or maybe we're just two people
509
00:27:47,182 --> 00:27:49,299
who'd like to hear some
good Mexican music.
510
00:27:51,721 --> 00:27:53,431
Does that mean yes?
511
00:27:53,455 --> 00:27:55,651
Or do I have to give
you a free sample?
512
00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:57,552
( laughs)
513
00:27:57,576 --> 00:27:59,988
♪ La cucaracha, la cucaracha ♪
514
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:01,956
BOTH: ♪ Sing no
matter where you are ♪
515
00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:05,427
Good. ♪ La cucaracha,
la cucaracha ♪
516
00:28:05,451 --> 00:28:07,662
♪ Play it on your old guitar ♪
517
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:11,533
( laughing): Merrill,
yes. Yes. I'd love to.
518
00:28:11,557 --> 00:28:13,073
( mellow theme playing)
519
00:28:22,585 --> 00:28:24,829
Hut, two, three, four,
520
00:28:24,853 --> 00:28:30,302
five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten...
521
00:28:30,326 --> 00:28:32,304
So that's how you keep
looking so young, huh?
522
00:28:32,328 --> 00:28:34,740
Uh-huh. How do you do it?
523
00:28:34,764 --> 00:28:36,274
Me?
524
00:28:36,298 --> 00:28:38,443
Yeah, you.
525
00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:40,879
Oh, no, I'm... I'm
not young-looking.
526
00:28:40,903 --> 00:28:43,882
Well, listen, nobody looked
like they did in college.
527
00:28:43,906 --> 00:28:45,333
You're telling me.
528
00:28:45,357 --> 00:28:47,869
( chuckling): Well,
I'll see you later.
529
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:50,060
I'm gonna grab a little
shower before I melt.
530
00:29:00,755 --> 00:29:02,189
( upbeat theme playing)
531
00:29:13,268 --> 00:29:15,246
There. Ah.
532
00:29:15,270 --> 00:29:17,048
That feels good.
533
00:29:17,072 --> 00:29:18,505
I mean, how does that feel?
534
00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:21,235
I always get what
the doctor says
535
00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:23,404
and what the patient
says mixed up.
536
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:25,596
It feels wonderful.
537
00:29:27,399 --> 00:29:29,578
How does this feel?
538
00:29:29,602 --> 00:29:31,580
Like old times.
539
00:29:31,604 --> 00:29:35,383
Oh, Betty, I've missed you.
540
00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:37,786
It was hard breaking up. Yeah.
541
00:29:37,810 --> 00:29:40,711
Just dividing up the china
and the silverware took days.
542
00:29:41,914 --> 00:29:43,091
Did we make a mistake?
543
00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:45,293
I know I did. I took the
knives and the forks,
544
00:29:45,317 --> 00:29:47,629
and now I haven't got
any cups and saucers.
545
00:29:47,653 --> 00:29:49,898
Be serious, Betty.
546
00:29:49,922 --> 00:29:52,734
Maybe... Maybe we should...
547
00:29:52,758 --> 00:29:54,424
Maybe we should what?
548
00:29:55,995 --> 00:29:57,238
What's going on here?
549
00:29:57,262 --> 00:29:59,140
I was just taking
something out of her eye.
550
00:29:59,164 --> 00:30:00,408
As a doctor,
551
00:30:00,432 --> 00:30:02,376
I take things out of
ladies' eyes all the time.
552
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,963
Oh, yeah? Well, maybe so.
But that's not just any eye.
553
00:30:05,987 --> 00:30:07,833
That eye happens
to be engaged to me.
554
00:30:07,857 --> 00:30:09,417
Now, take it easy.
555
00:30:09,441 --> 00:30:11,786
Look buddy, you may be
good at taking things out of eyes,
556
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:13,854
but my speciality is
putting things into eyes,
557
00:30:13,878 --> 00:30:15,262
namely, my fist.
558
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:17,992
Adam, let me talk to him.
559
00:30:18,016 --> 00:30:20,328
Well, somebody
better talk to him,
560
00:30:20,352 --> 00:30:22,497
or I may just have to
punch his lights out.
561
00:30:22,521 --> 00:30:24,087
Oh, yeah?
562
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:29,170
What do you think you're doing?
563
00:30:29,194 --> 00:30:31,072
Playing the part
of a jealous lover.
564
00:30:31,096 --> 00:30:32,674
I thought it came
off well, didn't you?
565
00:30:32,698 --> 00:30:33,975
You're ruining everything.
566
00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:36,444
See, I was trying to combine
the characters of Cary Grant,
567
00:30:36,468 --> 00:30:37,646
in one of his light comedies,
568
00:30:37,670 --> 00:30:39,714
with Charles Bronson
in Death Wish.
569
00:30:39,738 --> 00:30:41,483
You were marvellous. Thank you.
570
00:30:41,507 --> 00:30:43,017
Now, will you please leave?
571
00:30:43,041 --> 00:30:45,370
But I haven't
finished the scene.
572
00:30:45,394 --> 00:30:48,006
An actor has to
finish the scene.
573
00:30:48,030 --> 00:30:50,909
Otherwise, it's like
telling Lady Macbeth,
574
00:30:50,933 --> 00:30:53,049
"Forget the part about
stabbing the king."
575
00:30:54,786 --> 00:30:57,299
All right, Lance. We'll both go.
576
00:30:57,323 --> 00:30:59,033
Well, I'm glad you understand.
577
00:30:59,057 --> 00:31:01,336
Because if Lady Macbeth
doesn't stab the king,
578
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,105
she is nothing but an
ordinary, dissatisfied housewife.
579
00:31:04,129 --> 00:31:05,462
( sighs)
580
00:31:11,486 --> 00:31:14,399
STUBING: We hope you
enjoyed your day in Puerto Vallarta.
581
00:31:14,423 --> 00:31:17,591
The ship sets
sail at 1800 hours.
582
00:31:19,511 --> 00:31:22,073
( people laughing)
583
00:31:22,097 --> 00:31:25,043
BOTH: ♪ La cucaracha,
la cucaracha ♪
584
00:31:25,067 --> 00:31:27,083
( scatting)
585
00:31:30,022 --> 00:31:31,966
It's okay. Introduce us.
586
00:31:31,990 --> 00:31:33,067
( chuckles)
587
00:31:33,091 --> 00:31:35,336
Well, of course.
I'm being silly.
588
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:39,874
Um. Todd, this is
Captain Merrill Stubing.
589
00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:40,975
How do you do?
590
00:31:40,999 --> 00:31:42,232
Hello.
591
00:31:43,685 --> 00:31:44,846
Where have you been all day?
592
00:31:44,870 --> 00:31:47,449
Puerto Vallarta.
593
00:31:47,473 --> 00:31:49,935
With my friend.
594
00:31:49,959 --> 00:31:51,769
Todd, darling. Why,
the gang's all here.
595
00:31:51,793 --> 00:31:53,771
You didn't tell me there
was gonna be a party.
596
00:31:53,795 --> 00:31:55,073
No, this isn't a party.
597
00:31:55,097 --> 00:31:57,442
Good, because we were
gonna watch the sunset together,
598
00:31:57,466 --> 00:31:59,277
weren't we, lover?
599
00:31:59,301 --> 00:32:02,414
Uh, maybe you two
would like to join us.
600
00:32:02,438 --> 00:32:05,216
Well, I thought we'd
watch it from the bridge.
601
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,540
Come on, sweetheart. Excuse me.
602
00:32:11,380 --> 00:32:14,247
Thanks, again.
603
00:32:16,452 --> 00:32:18,129
Come on.
604
00:32:18,153 --> 00:32:19,987
( dramatic theme playing)
605
00:32:24,693 --> 00:32:26,573
( people chattering
indistinctly)
606
00:33:04,416 --> 00:33:07,495
I love dancing with you.
607
00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:08,963
You do?
608
00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:14,135
I love being with you. I
love everything about you.
609
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:16,471
I guess your plan worked.
610
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:20,475
I've forgotten all about Irene.
611
00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:21,476
You have?
612
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:24,011
Well, what's there to remember?
613
00:33:24,035 --> 00:33:27,014
A woman I barely
knew 40 years ago.
614
00:33:27,038 --> 00:33:29,850
We exchanged a few letters,
615
00:33:29,874 --> 00:33:32,920
a few phone calls.
616
00:33:32,944 --> 00:33:38,192
But you, I love
to dance with you.
617
00:33:38,216 --> 00:33:40,261
We love the same food.
618
00:33:40,285 --> 00:33:42,763
We love to travel.
619
00:33:42,787 --> 00:33:46,322
You and I could
have a life together.
620
00:33:48,927 --> 00:33:50,738
Marry me, Althea.
621
00:33:50,762 --> 00:33:53,258
I love you.
622
00:33:53,282 --> 00:33:54,959
Well, what about Irene?
623
00:33:54,983 --> 00:33:58,851
I don't care if I
ever see her again.
624
00:34:18,923 --> 00:34:20,823
( dramatic theme playing)
625
00:34:25,848 --> 00:34:28,526
We even dance great
together. I guess that clinches it.
626
00:34:28,550 --> 00:34:30,428
Clinches what?
627
00:34:30,452 --> 00:34:32,330
Our relationship, silly.
628
00:34:32,354 --> 00:34:34,966
But I can think of a
better way of clinching it.
629
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:36,000
Yeah.
630
00:34:36,024 --> 00:34:37,469
I have such
wonderful plans for us
631
00:34:37,493 --> 00:34:40,053
as soon as you're
free of Eleanor.
632
00:34:41,029 --> 00:34:43,107
What do you mean?
633
00:34:43,131 --> 00:34:45,693
I have no intention of
being free of Eleanor.
634
00:34:45,717 --> 00:34:49,730
Now, you understood
that from the beginning.
635
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:53,301
Yeah, but haven't things
changed now that we,
636
00:34:53,325 --> 00:34:54,585
well, have what we have?
637
00:34:54,609 --> 00:34:55,920
No.
638
00:34:55,944 --> 00:34:57,422
I began this relationship
639
00:34:57,446 --> 00:35:00,246
knowing that it would strengthen
the way I feel about my wife.
640
00:35:01,616 --> 00:35:03,727
Well, what do I get out of it?
641
00:35:03,751 --> 00:35:07,086
Well, like you
said, what we have.
642
00:35:09,191 --> 00:35:10,435
I see.
643
00:35:10,459 --> 00:35:13,137
You really believe
all that junk you write.
644
00:35:13,161 --> 00:35:14,844
Oh, well, of course I do.
645
00:35:16,681 --> 00:35:18,192
Well, I'll tell you
something, Todd.
646
00:35:18,216 --> 00:35:20,194
In theory it's great, but, well,
647
00:35:20,218 --> 00:35:23,369
when you're personally
involved, it hurts.
648
00:35:24,756 --> 00:35:26,935
Nancy, there's
nothing wrong with that.
649
00:35:26,959 --> 00:35:30,738
As long as you allow yourself
to experience the pain and...
650
00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:32,524
And don't suppress
your feelings.
651
00:35:32,548 --> 00:35:34,526
Do you understand
what I mean, dear?
652
00:35:34,550 --> 00:35:36,160
Mm-hm.
653
00:35:36,184 --> 00:35:38,530
Todd. Yeah?
654
00:35:38,554 --> 00:35:39,986
Suppress this.
655
00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:49,078
( upbeat theme playing)
656
00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:57,966
What are you thinking?
657
00:35:57,990 --> 00:36:01,891
That I never would have made
it through this cruise without you.
658
00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:06,941
How could I ever thank you?
659
00:36:06,965 --> 00:36:09,143
You can't thank a
friend for friendship.
660
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:11,567
You've been more than a friend.
661
00:36:12,704 --> 00:36:14,570
I'd like to be.
662
00:36:16,408 --> 00:36:20,643
But I'm old-fashioned
about what a marriage is.
663
00:36:21,913 --> 00:36:25,493
I wish Todd shared
some of your ideas.
664
00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:30,465
And I wish he was the gentleman.
665
00:36:30,489 --> 00:36:34,590
The gentle man that you are.
666
00:36:41,033 --> 00:36:43,553
Todd was right about one thing.
667
00:36:45,270 --> 00:36:50,773
It is good to have
new experiences.
668
00:36:52,544 --> 00:36:58,481
And it is good to
feel new feelings.
669
00:37:07,192 --> 00:37:09,125
Good night, Merrill.
670
00:37:20,922 --> 00:37:22,233
Uh, Lance, just a moment.
671
00:37:22,257 --> 00:37:23,700
There's something
I wanna say to you.
672
00:37:23,724 --> 00:37:25,836
Now, wait. Before you say
what you wanna say to me,
673
00:37:25,860 --> 00:37:27,805
there's something I
wanna say to you. Come in.
674
00:37:27,829 --> 00:37:29,407
Me first.
675
00:37:29,431 --> 00:37:30,474
No. Me first.
676
00:37:30,498 --> 00:37:33,311
I'd like to... This is my cabin.
677
00:37:33,335 --> 00:37:35,616
All right. I can't
argue with that.
678
00:37:37,705 --> 00:37:39,917
Okay.
679
00:37:39,941 --> 00:37:41,718
I've been watching
you and Betty.
680
00:37:41,742 --> 00:37:43,354
And she'd probably
marry you again.
681
00:37:43,378 --> 00:37:44,761
Only, it wouldn't last.
682
00:37:46,298 --> 00:37:48,142
Because you're from
two different worlds.
683
00:37:48,166 --> 00:37:50,712
And when two people are
from two different worlds
684
00:37:50,736 --> 00:37:52,146
and living in one world,
685
00:37:52,170 --> 00:37:54,548
that's a total of three
worlds for only two people,
686
00:37:54,572 --> 00:37:57,340
leaving a surplus of one world.
687
00:37:59,677 --> 00:38:00,888
That's interesting.
688
00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:02,623
Do you like it?
689
00:38:02,647 --> 00:38:04,625
That's what Claude
Rains said to John Garfield
690
00:38:04,649 --> 00:38:06,594
when John Garfield
wanted to marry
691
00:38:06,618 --> 00:38:08,596
Rains' daughter, Rosemary Lane.
692
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:10,965
But of course, it's not exactly
what Claude Rains said.
693
00:38:10,989 --> 00:38:13,834
As a serious actor,
I like to improvise.
694
00:38:13,858 --> 00:38:17,305
That way, I can bring some of
myself to the parts that I play.
695
00:38:17,329 --> 00:38:18,939
You're an actor?
696
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:20,674
( laughing): Well, of course.
697
00:38:20,698 --> 00:38:22,376
How else could I
re-create Claude Rains
698
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:23,944
right before your very eyes?
699
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:26,914
That takes years of study
with the finest teachers.
700
00:38:26,938 --> 00:38:29,484
Of course, Betty was looking
for the best actor she could find
701
00:38:29,508 --> 00:38:30,748
to play the part of her fiancé.
702
00:38:33,194 --> 00:38:37,458
Well, I think you're the most
marvellous actor I've ever seen.
703
00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:39,159
( laughs)
704
00:38:39,183 --> 00:38:42,669
There is Olivier. You
know, for the older parts.
705
00:38:43,772 --> 00:38:45,433
Being such a great actor,
706
00:38:45,457 --> 00:38:48,869
do you suppose you could
play the part of a funeral director?
707
00:38:48,893 --> 00:38:50,555
Well, I suppose so. Why?
708
00:38:50,579 --> 00:38:52,607
Because I'm gonna kill Betty.
709
00:38:52,631 --> 00:38:55,275
You're not gonna touch a hair
on her head. I love that woman.
710
00:38:55,299 --> 00:38:57,350
Oh? What movie is that from?
711
00:38:59,253 --> 00:39:02,065
I don't think it's
from any movie.
712
00:39:02,089 --> 00:39:05,168
I must really love her.
713
00:39:05,192 --> 00:39:08,572
Yes, I do. I
definitely love her.
714
00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:12,776
Well, what good's that
gonna do me? She loves you.
715
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,800
She only hired me
to make you jealous.
716
00:39:16,204 --> 00:39:19,350
Well, wanting to make me
jealous doesn't prove she loves me.
717
00:39:19,374 --> 00:39:22,024
Just the same as being
jealous doesn't prove I love her.
718
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,890
But I do love her
enough to wanna help her.
719
00:39:25,914 --> 00:39:28,593
Maybe I can help all of us.
720
00:39:28,617 --> 00:39:29,677
How?
721
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:35,449
I used to do a
little acting myself.
722
00:39:35,473 --> 00:39:37,685
In fact, some people
thought I was one of the finest
723
00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:42,578
15-year-old King
Lears they ever saw.
724
00:39:46,668 --> 00:39:48,101
Needs work.
725
00:39:51,539 --> 00:39:52,539
( door closes)
726
00:39:57,028 --> 00:39:59,662
Oh, you're in early.
727
00:40:00,966 --> 00:40:02,381
How was your evening?
728
00:40:03,485 --> 00:40:05,835
Wonderful. Good.
729
00:40:07,272 --> 00:40:08,783
I knew once you
overcame your fears,
730
00:40:08,807 --> 00:40:10,123
this experiment would work.
731
00:40:12,911 --> 00:40:15,189
Don't you wanna know
how it is with Nancy and me?
732
00:40:15,213 --> 00:40:16,573
Not really.
733
00:40:16,597 --> 00:40:18,380
Well, it's over.
734
00:40:20,068 --> 00:40:22,029
I'm sure that pleases you.
735
00:40:22,053 --> 00:40:24,464
But the point is,
736
00:40:24,488 --> 00:40:27,451
it was a freeing experience,
a personal growth.
737
00:40:27,475 --> 00:40:30,288
Something I can bring
738
00:40:30,312 --> 00:40:32,373
to enrich our marriage.
739
00:40:32,397 --> 00:40:34,508
Todd.
740
00:40:34,532 --> 00:40:37,245
There's no marriage to enrich.
741
00:40:37,269 --> 00:40:38,467
Huh?
742
00:40:40,905 --> 00:40:42,417
I want a divorce.
743
00:40:42,441 --> 00:40:43,856
( dramatic theme playing)
744
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,619
Oh, Betty.
745
00:41:01,643 --> 00:41:04,421
I've been thinking about
what went wrong with us,
746
00:41:04,445 --> 00:41:05,922
and I think it's because
747
00:41:05,946 --> 00:41:08,381
I was probably never
very honest with you.
748
00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:11,629
I haven't exactly been
very honest with you.
749
00:41:11,653 --> 00:41:14,198
No, you've been honest.
750
00:41:14,222 --> 00:41:16,233
But I'm still not honest.
751
00:41:16,257 --> 00:41:18,502
And honesty is the best policy,
752
00:41:18,526 --> 00:41:21,705
so I'm gonna be honest.
753
00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:23,307
Honestly? Hm?
754
00:41:23,331 --> 00:41:24,963
Yes.
755
00:41:26,651 --> 00:41:30,369
I'm married again.
756
00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:33,389
You're what?
757
00:41:35,327 --> 00:41:36,676
And my wife's pregnant.
758
00:41:38,279 --> 00:41:41,592
And there are three little
ones by her first marriage.
759
00:41:41,616 --> 00:41:44,979
And I'm supporting her brother
because he's unemployable.
760
00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:47,849
He's an archaeologist
who can't dig
761
00:41:47,873 --> 00:41:49,066
because of his bad back.
762
00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:51,802
Poor Adam.
763
00:41:51,826 --> 00:41:54,288
And your poor wife.
764
00:41:54,312 --> 00:41:55,555
Oh.
765
00:41:55,579 --> 00:41:57,858
She gets a lot of help
from her arthritic mother,
766
00:41:57,882 --> 00:42:00,177
when she isn't falling
out of her wheelchair.
767
00:42:00,201 --> 00:42:03,014
How do you cope with
all your troubles, Adam?
768
00:42:03,038 --> 00:42:05,550
We usually renew
our faith in mankind
769
00:42:05,574 --> 00:42:07,924
and one another
by going bowling.
770
00:42:09,361 --> 00:42:11,538
Adam, if you'll excuse me, uh,
771
00:42:11,562 --> 00:42:14,741
I don't want Lance to see us
together again and get upset.
772
00:42:14,765 --> 00:42:17,595
Thanks for being honest.
773
00:42:17,619 --> 00:42:18,985
( sighs)
774
00:42:31,967 --> 00:42:33,833
( whistles)
775
00:42:42,877 --> 00:42:44,443
Mr. Hopkins' room, please.
776
00:42:45,864 --> 00:42:47,897
( phone rings)
777
00:42:49,033 --> 00:42:50,011
Hello.
778
00:42:50,035 --> 00:42:52,579
Andy?
779
00:42:52,603 --> 00:42:53,848
This is Althea.
780
00:42:53,872 --> 00:42:55,053
Are you all right?
781
00:42:56,423 --> 00:42:57,668
Yes.
782
00:42:57,692 --> 00:42:59,353
Well, you didn't
give me an answer.
783
00:42:59,377 --> 00:43:01,126
Will you marry me?
784
00:43:02,814 --> 00:43:05,081
I can't, Andy. Why?
785
00:43:06,851 --> 00:43:08,295
I just can't.
786
00:43:08,319 --> 00:43:10,781
It... It wouldn't be fair.
787
00:43:10,805 --> 00:43:12,404
I don't understand.
788
00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:16,653
I'm sorry, Andy.
789
00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:18,511
( wistful theme playing)
790
00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:25,596
( whimpering)
791
00:43:25,620 --> 00:43:28,054
I love you, Andy.
792
00:43:29,224 --> 00:43:31,324
I love you too...
793
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,527
Irene.
794
00:43:38,450 --> 00:43:40,227
( sniffles)
795
00:43:40,251 --> 00:43:41,550
You knew?
796
00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:49,286
Of course I knew.
797
00:43:49,310 --> 00:43:51,988
How could I ever forget the face
798
00:43:52,012 --> 00:43:54,380
of the only woman I ever loved?
799
00:43:57,284 --> 00:43:59,196
But I'm...
800
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:02,533
I'm not the young girl
you knew in college.
801
00:44:02,557 --> 00:44:04,923
Those... Those years...
802
00:44:06,361 --> 00:44:09,807
Beauty is in the
eyes of the beholder.
803
00:44:09,831 --> 00:44:12,242
And in my eyes,
804
00:44:12,266 --> 00:44:15,979
you're the most beautiful
woman in the whole world.
805
00:44:16,003 --> 00:44:17,570
Still.
806
00:44:21,292 --> 00:44:23,826
Mrs. Austin, I was just
thinking, why don't you...?
807
00:44:27,582 --> 00:44:29,248
Never mind.
808
00:44:31,136 --> 00:44:32,568
( romantic theme playing)
809
00:44:37,808 --> 00:44:39,441
( upbeat theme playing)
810
00:44:58,763 --> 00:45:00,107
Oh, Nancy.
811
00:45:00,131 --> 00:45:02,243
Hi, honey.
812
00:45:02,267 --> 00:45:04,879
Can I, uh, give
you a lift into town?
813
00:45:04,903 --> 00:45:07,982
You mean, can you and
Eleanor give me a lift?
814
00:45:08,006 --> 00:45:09,350
Eleanor?
815
00:45:09,374 --> 00:45:12,186
No. No, Eleanor's leaving me.
816
00:45:12,210 --> 00:45:13,620
Aw.
817
00:45:13,644 --> 00:45:16,090
Well, like you always say, if
a marriage doesn't work out,
818
00:45:16,114 --> 00:45:18,825
that's the way it was
meant to be. Right, Todd?
819
00:45:18,849 --> 00:45:21,128
Does that hurt? Well, good.
820
00:45:21,152 --> 00:45:23,697
Because I want you
to feel it, experience it.
821
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:25,565
Don't suppress it.
822
00:45:25,589 --> 00:45:27,323
Bye, Todd.
823
00:45:32,096 --> 00:45:33,640
Hi. Hi.
824
00:45:33,664 --> 00:45:34,942
Well, bye, Julie.
825
00:45:34,966 --> 00:45:38,045
It's been quite a
cruise. It sure has.
826
00:45:38,069 --> 00:45:39,847
Thanks for everything,
Gopher. You bet.
827
00:45:39,871 --> 00:45:40,914
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
828
00:45:40,938 --> 00:45:42,515
Bye-bye. Thanks
for sailing with us.
829
00:45:42,539 --> 00:45:43,617
Oh, pleasure.
830
00:45:43,641 --> 00:45:45,385
You still haven't
answered my question.
831
00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:48,188
Do I look as good as I did
when we were in college? Do I?
832
00:45:48,212 --> 00:45:51,191
Now, listen here, young lady.
I don't want you to say, "Do I?"
833
00:45:51,215 --> 00:45:53,593
I want you to say, "I do."
834
00:45:53,617 --> 00:45:55,195
I do. I do.
835
00:45:55,219 --> 00:45:56,919
( laughs): That's right.
836
00:45:59,290 --> 00:46:02,168
Perhaps we'll have a chance
to spend more time together
837
00:46:02,192 --> 00:46:06,039
now that you'll be...
Perhaps we can.
838
00:46:06,063 --> 00:46:09,510
But whatever happens,
whatever becomes of us,
839
00:46:09,534 --> 00:46:11,779
let's promise
ourselves one thing.
840
00:46:11,803 --> 00:46:13,313
What's that?
841
00:46:13,337 --> 00:46:16,149
We'll be friends first.
842
00:46:16,173 --> 00:46:20,186
Eleanor, we'll be friends first,
843
00:46:20,210 --> 00:46:23,178
last, and always.
844
00:46:29,153 --> 00:46:30,920
Goodbye, Merrill.
845
00:46:35,509 --> 00:46:37,988
Like my new suit?
846
00:46:38,012 --> 00:46:40,858
Lance, if you charged
that to my account,
847
00:46:40,882 --> 00:46:41,859
I'm gonna brain you.
848
00:46:41,883 --> 00:46:43,460
Actually, I paid for it myself.
849
00:46:43,484 --> 00:46:45,162
Oh. I wanted something special
850
00:46:45,186 --> 00:46:48,065
for my big exit scene.
851
00:46:48,089 --> 00:46:49,633
Am I gonna need a handkerchief?
852
00:46:49,657 --> 00:46:51,669
Is it like Gone with the Wind?
853
00:46:51,693 --> 00:46:53,070
Oh, no.
854
00:46:53,094 --> 00:46:56,339
No, this is a scene I'm
going to improvise on the spot.
855
00:46:56,363 --> 00:47:02,012
A scene where I take
you in my arms... Hm.
856
00:47:02,036 --> 00:47:04,514
Tell you that I love you... Aw.
857
00:47:04,538 --> 00:47:07,051
Ask you to marry me... Mm.
858
00:47:07,075 --> 00:47:09,241
And then kiss you.
859
00:47:21,656 --> 00:47:25,335
Lance, that was
some showstopper.
860
00:47:25,359 --> 00:47:28,271
You're a wonderful actor.
861
00:47:28,295 --> 00:47:29,295
Who was acting?
862
00:47:31,332 --> 00:47:32,743
Hm?
863
00:47:32,767 --> 00:47:35,496
( laughs)
864
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,698
I can't let her go. Easy, Doc.
865
00:47:37,722 --> 00:47:39,121
Not like this.
866
00:47:40,357 --> 00:47:41,869
Betty?
867
00:47:41,893 --> 00:47:43,971
I wasn't completely
honest with you yesterday.
868
00:47:43,995 --> 00:47:45,438
Oh, that's all right, Doc.
869
00:47:45,462 --> 00:47:47,908
At least I know
I've been honest.
870
00:47:47,932 --> 00:47:50,043
I said that Lance was my fiancé,
871
00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:52,012
and all of a sudden he is.
872
00:47:52,036 --> 00:47:55,281
And as for you, stick
to playing King Lear.
873
00:47:55,305 --> 00:47:57,017
Uh, maybe not.
874
00:47:57,041 --> 00:47:58,674
( laughs)
875
00:48:03,531 --> 00:48:06,810
I wonder if we'll ever meet
Doc's other wives aboard ship.
876
00:48:06,834 --> 00:48:08,311
Oh, I wouldn't doubt it, sir.
877
00:48:08,335 --> 00:48:10,836
They'll probably
attack by submarine.
878
00:48:23,167 --> 00:48:24,867
( upbeat theme playing)
61375
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