All language subtitles for Eight Is Enough s03e06 The Flunked and the Funked

Come on, you'll be late for school.

I'm not going today.

What do you mean? You're not going to
school?

Nope.

Well, Nicholas, don't you want to know
everything you can about the world?

It'll never happen. Every time I figure
out the world, it always changes on me.

Yeah, but that's why you need an
education, because the more you learn

life, the less it will surprise you.
Now, come on, get dressed. You're going

school.

Nope, not today.

No arguments, Nicholas. You are going to
school.

All right, if you say so, Abby. But it
won't help my education.

Well, of course it will if you try hard
enough.

No matter how hard I try, the schools
will still be closed and it will still

Saturday.

Saturday. Oh, Nicholas.

Well, you know me and Mornix. I'm sorry.

I'm not. I'm never sorry when it's
Saturday.

Me neither.

See you later, Nicholas.

There's a magic in the early morning we
found

when the sunrise smiled on everything

around.

It's a portrait of the happiness that we
feel and

always will.

Oh, it is enough to fill our lives with.

Oh,

we spend our days like bright and shiny
new dimes.

If we're ever puzzled by the changing
time,

there's a plate of homemade wishes

on the kitchen window.

And it is enough to fill our lives
with...

Hi, General.

How goes the battle?

Disastrous. What do you mean? We just
lost the two best nights right out of

marriage. What are you talking about?

Tuesdays and Thursdays, they're gone.
How could they be gone?

If I have to work till midnight, they're
gone.

Oh, the paper's putting you on some kind
of night shift or something? No, no,

they're putting me on the faculty.

There's an extension course in
journalism, and the man they have is

so they want us to select a new
lecturer, and naturally the publisher

volunteered me.

That? Not a disaster? That's terrific.
You should be flattered. Oh, no, what I

am is scared. What do I know about
teaching?

A lot. You're married to a teacher. Oh,
but that's only five nights a week. You

mean you're going to let me do it?
You're not going to say it's too hard on

relationship? Absolutely not. I knew two
seconds after I met you, I'd have to

show you with the younger generation.

You mean you won't write me out an
excuse?

I'm proud of you, and I'm happy for me,
because I always wanted to cohabitate

with a distinguished professor.

Really? Well, I didn't know what fringe
benefits there are.

There are a few, so you should listen
and text notes.

Dad, that's fabulous.

That journalism class is really lucky.
Lucky?

I'll stammer through the first half and
blush through the second half. Do you

realize what a class of 40 is is five
times as terrifying as the House of

Oh, come on, Dad. You'll make a terrific
teacher.

Sure you will, Dad. Look how perfect all
of us turned out.

What's all this about?

Oh, your partner's going to teach a
class at the university.

Oh, really? What class?

Journalism. Hmm.

Maybe I'll transfer.

I could use a good grade in something.

Dad, will you help me with my nine?

Your what?

You know, nine.

Nine ones or nine.

And nine twos are 18.

Oh, I'm sorry, Nicholas. I have to get
ready to teach my first class. I'm very

busy. Listen, I'll make it easy on you.
You can help me with my eights. Tonight

I couldn't even make room for your twos.
Try somebody else.

All right, you'll be sorry when I get
stuck in the fourth grade for a hundred

years. We'll worry about you a hundred
some other time. Please, Nicholas,

We're concentrating.

Come on, I gotta have this paper in my
first period. Can't you see we're

studying? What do you think I'm trying
to do?

Mary, if you help me with my knives,
I'll help you with your anatomany.

Anatomy, Nicholas.

Look, I'll tell you what. Why don't you
check the kitchen? Maybe somebody in

there needs your help, okay?

Yeah, thanks a lot.

There you go. Works perfectly now.

Doesn't anybody ever stop studying
around here?

Some people can't even get started.

The way books get cracked around here,
they ought to call this Bradford

David, do you remember much about nines?

What about nines?

Well, here, you hold this book, and I'll
tell you all about nines. And if I get

a little wrong, you can give me some
hints.

Uh, hey, I've got a date, Nicholas. I'm
sorry I can't help you with your

homework.

Homework? Why do you have to mention
that terrible subject?

Do you need some help, Nancy?

Not unless you're psychic.

I left my sociology book in Brian's car
and we have a quiz tomorrow.

Can't you borrow a book?

Not in time to read six chapters.

I don't believe this family. If you guys
were trying to memorize Moliere, I'd be

quiet.

Is it really true you're six chapters
behind in sociology?

Yep. I thought that was your favorite
course.

Well, it's gotten very boring lately.

Boring? What do you mean by boring?

It's like everything else in college.
It's hopeless.

You learn some facts for a test, and you
forget them. And then you learn some

more facts, and you forget them.

It's like your mind's a human garbage
disposal.

Oh, I see. Are you equating knowledge
and garbage?

Of course not, Abby.

Real knowledge isn't garbage.

But the stuff they teach you seems like
a waste of time.

They never help you with real life.

Well, if you feel that way, maybe you
should enroll in some more relevant

courses. What good would that do?

I could enroll in the perfect class.

I could study 24 hours, and the best
thing I could get is a C.

Doesn't have to be that way, Nancy.

Doesn't it?

You saw my grades last year.

Pass with probation.

Face it, Abby, I'm just not a student.

We're not asking you to make straight
A's.

Well, I'm asking me.

I'm sick and tired of being stuck in the
middle of everybody's list.

I'm in the middle of the family.

I'm in the middle of the class.

Isn't there someplace where I can feel
superior?

Mm -hmm.

Right here.

The... I think that you're superbly
beautiful and superbly loving and a

perfect daughter and friend.

Finished

typing

your lesson plan, Herr Professor?

Well, there may be a change.

Again? Oh, gosh, it's still busy.

Donna. Do you think that I should start
the class off with an analysis of the

First Amendment or a discussion on
electronic journalism versus print?

Oh, well, if I were you, I'd start off
by taking attendance.

Hey, that's a good idea.

Because if I wait till the end of the
class to take roll, the students will

either died or bought them or walked
out.

How can you say that?

Everybody knows that you write the most
non -boring stuff on this newspaper.

Not counting sports and comics.

Look, my column has nothing to do with
it.

I'm a private writer, not a public
speaker.

Are you kidding?

In your house, every time you open your
mouth, you're automatically addressing a

crowd. In my house, every time I open my
mouth, I realize that nobody is

listening. I can't even communicate by
phone.

I don't have a family. I have the
world's longest busy signal.

555 -2213.

Hello? Do you have Prince Albert in a
can?

Let him out before he smothers.

Now it's my turn.

I don't think you're ready yet,
Nicholas.

You better watch me a few more times.
Don't worry, I'm a fast learner.

people will be coming home from school
soon. We ought to go to your house.

Nope. My mother likes me to play over
here.

She thinks you're a good influence on
me.

Oh, hi, Nicholas.

Hi, Irving.

If you want the phone, nobody's using
it. Oh, no thanks.

Boy, I've never seen such dumb mail.

Excuse me, sir?

Sir?

Yes? Excuse me, do you know where I can
find Journalism 103?

What room is it in?

Well, I remembered it as 274, but that
turned out to be intermediate stained

glass. You know the name of the
journalism teacher.

Oh, yes, I'm afraid I do.

It's me.

You're the teacher?

Yes, I was drafted. My name is Tom
Bradford.

You're in room 247, Dr. Bradford. Oh,
no, no, no, no, no. It's Mr. Bradford.

I can see that now.

Just turn left and look for the numbers.

Your class started six minutes ago.

Oh,

settle

down,

settle down. Come on now, settle down.
Does anybody know what our new teacher

looks like?

No. Well, I've seen his picture on his
column, and I think he's here.

Come on in, Mr. Bradford.

Nice to have you with us. Thank you. I'm
sorry I'm late.

Oh, we understand, Mr. Bradford. You
probably had a big story to cover, huh?

Yeah, amateur journalism instructor gets
lost on way to class.

That's more words than I thought I'd say
the whole semester.

Well, shall we get to work, Mr.
Bradford?

Hmm? Oh, work.

Yes.

Ready when you are.

Tom, when are you going to believe us
when we tell you that you're great?

Well, it wasn't great.

But it was adequate.

And it wouldn't have even been adequate
if it wasn't for this young fellow, Ray

Davis. I tell you, he was such a big
help. After the class was over, I tried

take him out for coffee, you know, but I
couldn't. He had to rush off to some

job. Can you beat that?

Best part of teaching is getting
inspired by your students.

Hmm, I can believe that.

I can also believe that this whole
teaching bit could actually become

enjoyable. So maybe someday you and I'll
have his and her classrooms?

Oh, don't count on it. Once you smell
printer's ink, any other perfume gives

an allergy.

Well, were there any family crises while
I was off playing Mr.

Chips?

No, nothing.

Nothing? Well, we can talk about it
tomorrow.

Oh, crises that are too upsetting to
talk about now are usually the most

upsetting of all. What happened?

Well, let me just say this.

Nancy is not exactly sharing your
academic success.

Oh. Any worse than usual?

Yeah, I would say so. She's, um...

Well, she's very discouraged about her
classes.

No, she's more than discouraged. She's
depressed.

I guess it's time for the midterm pep
talk.

Is that Professor Bradford or Father
Bradford talking?

Father Bradford. He pays the tuition.

Daddy, I know how hard you have to work
to pay my way through college, and I

really appreciate it.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to look
for a job first thing tomorrow.

No, no, no. I'm not asking you to do
that. I'm simply asking you to try hard

enough to waste your educational
opportunity.

Well, I'm sure there's plenty of jobs I
could get.

Please, put that out of your mind.

Getting a job would only interfere with
your studies.

I'll take care of the money. You just
get your grades up higher.

If grades are what are worrying you,
Daddy, forget it.

A job won't hurt my average.

Nothing will.

They just notified me. I didn't pass my
midterm probation.

Daddy, I flunked out of college.

Hi, I'm Nancy Bradford.

And you said that my resumes would be
printed by this morning?

Yeah, that's right, Bradford.

Well, they were one page, triple spaced,
and you said to leave out the part

about coming in fifth for Miss
Sacramento.

Oh, no, no, don't deliver. I'll be right
there to pick them up.

Okay, thanks a lot. Bye -bye.

Nancy? Yeah?

Don't you want some breakfast?

Oh, I'm too excited to eat. After I get
my job, I'll have an early lunch, okay?

Bye -bye.

Good luck.

Four feet.

Hey, Nancy, you want some dinner? Oh,
no. I'm too tired to even think about

food. Oh, I know. I feel the same way
when I try out for a part. I think it's

the anxiety.

No, it's the walking.

I must have left resumes and 50
businesses. Hey, that's good. Any

Yeah, a lot, but none for jobs.

Hey, remember the veterinary hospital?
They're always needing help. Yeah, I

think that was my best interview.

What do you mean, you think?

Well, the doctor kept smiling at me all
the time, but I couldn't hear a word he

was saying. Why not?

He had this patient, a great Dane. He
kept barking the whole interview, and he

kept trying to bite me.

You don't want that job. Believe me.

Look, Nancy, better luck tomorrow, huh?

I'll need it.

I'm going to be losing the whole morning
filling out a report on the fender I

smashed when I was auditioning as a car
park person.

Hang in there. You'll make it.

Tell that to my feet.

is easier if you had warned me that
Nancy was flunking. Why is that our

responsibility? Because the father is
always the last to know. My gosh,

they share pantyhose and bathrooms and
secrets of the heart. Dad, I just think

Nancy was too ashamed to let on to
anybody.

Really? I mean, we all know how you feel
about college diplomas. I mean, you

almost had a spaz attack when David
decided to quit.

Oh, no, no, no. David is a different
thing. I mean, he received wonderful

grades, outstanding marks, a
scholarship.

Why, any college in the country would be
happy to accept David tomorrow.

I'll tell you something. If the
construction business ever loses its

may wind up getting several degrees.

Don't count on it, Dad.

You'd be surprised what a few years of
hard knocks can do to a person.

Anyway, I'm not worried about David. I'm
worried about Nancy and Elizabeth and

Tommy and Nicholas.

Wait a minute. What do Elizabeth and
Tommy and Nicholas have to do with Nancy

copping out on college?

A family survives on good examples.

Ah, yes, the old domino theory.

If one Bradford falls, the entire clan
will crumble.

Oh, Dad, you don't believe that, do you?

Eternal vigilance is the price of
sanity. Before you become a parent, you

to write that 5 ,000 times.

Oh, come on, Dad, look at us. I mean, we
are not dominoes.

We will stay in school.

Oh, well, you better. And if you ever
get tempted, just keep an eye on Nancy,

because job hunting is the most
terrifying human endeavor next to

combat.

The only thing worse is unemployment.

Nancy says anything's better than
homework.

There's one thing. No work.

Where is everybody?

Tom!

Abby, we're here.

Oh, I found them!

A few weeks of being batted around in
the rat race and Nancy will be begging

get back into college.

Important news, everybody. Listen to
this.

Dad, I found a job.

You what?

Imagine. My second day.

I would have quit college ages ago if
I'd have known how easy it is to enter

glamorous world of business.

Are you sure that this is the glamorous
world of business?

See, this is the exact same address the
employment agency gave me.

Isn't it exciting?

It looks so industrial.

It looks to me like they can't pay their
bills. Are you sure you want to go

through with this? Of course, Daddy. I
mean, it isn't everyone who gets a job

just dropped in their laps.

I don't know if I want a daughter of
mine working in this commercial slum.

on, you've got to let me do it. The
agency has a reputation to protect.

Willoughby Plumbing needs me. I gave
them my word.

Besides, I thought you raised us never
to quit. Oh, did I? Well, then what

college? I didn't quit, Daddy. I
flunked. No, you just stopped trying.

don't have to stay stopped.

There are ways to get you back into
college.

Forget it.

I feel much more at home out here in the
business world.

Thank you for delivering me.

Tomorrow, I'll take the bus.

Switchboard, isn't it?

That is 100 % correct.

You know how to work it? Oh, I've had
years of experience with telephone.

Terrific.

Here's our personnel list and their
extension numbers.

You know, the last three girls memorize
it in the morning.

Three girls?

Yeah. You know, some young people don't
want to work.

I mean, you give them an opportunity and
they abuse it.

Not me, Mr. Willoughby. Not me.

Oh, I could tell that, honey.

You're a class kind of person.

I can see great things for you here.

Any questions?

Just one.

Could you tell me where the powder room
is?

It's over there.

That says men.

Well, actually, it should read knock.

See, if you knock and a man doesn't
answer, it's your powder room.

Willoughby Wholesale Plumbing. Good
morning.

You'll get the hang of it, honey.

Maybe we'll have lunch.

Willoughby Wholesale Plumbing.

Good morning.

That's tragic. I mean, it's absolutely
tragic. Do you realize that Nancy could

wind up spending her whole life as a
secretary?

Please, I'm in no mood for irony.

Right. Listen, Donna, would you please
shut up and get some coffee? Oh, of

course. How do you take it? Black,
cream, sugar? How about a little milk?

Okay. Oh,

excuse me. I wanted to see Mr. Bradford.
Ray, for Pete's sakes.

Come on in, son.

What are you doing here?

Well, I had some business in the
building, and I thought I'd say hello.

that's good. Sit down.

What kind of business?

Oh, with your building supervisor.

Oh, Lloyd Davidson's son's maintenance
service.

My father and brother.

We do windows.

We service four buildings on this block,
and we've been trying to get the

register's contract for over a year.

Oh, very good. Well, I'll put in a
recommendation for you for what it's

I'd appreciate that, Mr. Bradford.

But actually, I came to ask you a more
personal favor.

Oh? Is there any extra work I can do to
help me get an A in your class?

You mean like write a special report or
something?

Well, anything to boost my semester's
average. I'm hovering around a 3 .9.

Boy, that's pretty good hovering.

Let me work out the requirements, and
I'll get back to you.

I'd appreciate it.

Thanks, Mr. Bradford. Okay.

Oh, wait a second. Let me get something
straight. Now, you work all day. You

attend college at night, and you still
get a 3 .9 average.

No, sometimes I work days, attend
college, and work nights. I'm really

impressed. And I'm really tired.

But it's the only way I can swim it.

See you in class, Mr. Bradford. See you,
Raymond.

Bye. Bye -bye.

He's quite a fellow.

You noticed.

Doesn't seem fair that he has to work so
hard for his education.

Some people want it, and some people
don't.

And that's not fair to fathers.

Willoughby Hotel Plumbing.

No, I'm sorry, sir. Mr. Willoughby's
line is busy.

Would you please hold?

Thank you.

Hello?

Anybody in there?

Willoughby Hillsdale Plum.

Oh, it's you.

Still on hold, huh?

No, I haven't exactly forgotten you,
sir.

Hold on.

Well, I'm sorry, sir, but there are
people who've been calling who haven't

been put on hold yet.

Are you really sure you want these?

This physiology text was published in
1921.

Human bodies change very little since
1921.

Besides, it made Dr. Max very happy to
give them to you.

No, he was happy because he didn't have
to pay to have them hauled to the dump.

How did I get talked into this?

Very skillfully. Now, would you please
open up your arms and I will load them

up.

Anything else, oh omnipotent master?

Yeah. Why don't you talk to Nancy about
going back to college?

Why me?

Because she'd value your opinion, David.

I mean, you know exactly what problems
she'll face without a diploma.

What problems?

Besides being conned into playing a pack
mule?

Tell me it's been easy for you, David.

I've been there helping you scramble for
the rent money.

I've seen you miss out on jobs, and I've
heard your best friends put you down.

Is that what you want for your little
sister?

Nancy's entitled to choose her own
future.

It's not just Nancy.

Dad's worried that the two of you are
going to start a new family trend.

Did you ever see any trend agreed on by
this family?

You can either drop the subject or get
an armload of books dropped on your toe.

Nancy's got her own style, and people
seem to like it.

Besides, she could turn out to be a bit
of a dynamo.

Hey, Bradford, why did you keep Len
Tracy on hold for 26 minutes?

Who? Only our best customer, that's who.

He almost canceled the order.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Well, sorry isn't enough.

Here.

What's this?

Your check for six and a third hours,
plus severance.

You're fired.

Did you tell Daddy? Is he just furious?

Surprisingly enough.

Uh, Daddy couldn't be happier.

You're making me feel guilty with some
kind of reverse psychology, huh? Oh, no,

Nancy, I mean it. I think that your bad
experience at Willoughby Plumbing today

was probably the best thing that could
have happened to you.

Well, it didn't feel that way to me,
Dad.

Well, why? I mean, isn't it obvious to
you? In one short day, you learned how

rough it can be out in the business
world when you don't have skills or

talents to offer.

Okay, now you learned that lesson, so
now go back to college.

No, Dad.

Yes.

I can't believe this.

You always taught us to be fair.

Well, I gave college more than a year to
prove itself.

I think that the business world deserves
more than one dumb day.

Excuse me. Now that your explosion is
over with, I'm going to go call the

employment agency.

Well, if that isn't reverse psychology,
how come I was just reversed?

Well, Tom, maybe Nancy needs to win an
argument with her father right now.

Oh, come on, Abby.

No, no, no, I'm serious. I mean, at
least it's a kind of success.

I mean, do you realize that in the past
two days she's been flunked out of

college and she's lost her first job?
Well, then why should she go right back

out there and get clobbered again?

Couldn't you at least admire her
courage?

I'll remind you of that remark in a day
or so when she's sobbing her heart out.

Is your refrigerator running?

Well, tell it to jog around the kitchen.

Hey, guys, get off the phone.

I was just calling my mother. I don't
like her to worry.

Yeah, well, do you think she could worry
for about two more minutes? I need it

for business.

Thank you.

Doesn't she realize there are people in
this world that would give anything to

have a college education?

College is not the issue. What's
important is helping Nancy find

will give her a sense of accomplishment.

There's this young man in my class.

Wait a minute.

That's the answer.

Okay. Well, thanks anyway.

Yeah. Bye.

Yeah,

right away.

Oh, hi, Nancy. How'd it go?

I resigned.

What? Well, there's just no future in
wholesale plumbing.

Oh, hello, Ray.

This is Tom Bradford.

No, I haven't worked out your extra
credit assignment yet, but I will.

I was wondering if you'd like to come
over to the house tonight for dinner.

Well, we could discuss your college
career.

I have a feeling that it might be very
inspiring.

Your dad's still talking. Shh.

Last time he found out somebody was
listening in on his calls, we almost got

phone taken out.

Look, he just hung up. All right, next
call. Terry Alderman.

Right.

Are your lights burning?

another place, Elizabeth.

Who's coming to dinner? Dad just said
guests.

The only reason I asked Ray to dinner
tonight was he's a very hard man to make

an appointment with. Would you believe
that aside from working up to 12 hours a

day, he also attends the university?

Really? What kind of work do you do,
Ray?

Oh, my dad, brother, and I, we have a
maintenance service for commercial

buildings. Wow, you have your own family
business?

Isn't that something?

Ray here scrubs floors, washes down
walls, empties wastebaskets, anything he

do to help earn him a chance at going to
college.

Well, actually, Mr. Bradford, I mostly
supervise and dispatch the trucks.

We employ over 40 people for the actual
cleaning work.

Hey, that's terrific. Do you realize
that service industries are the biggest

growth segment in the economy?

What does that mean?

Oh, that means Ray here's cleaning up.

How do you feel about having to work so
hard to go to school, Ray?

That's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Why do you say that, Nancy?

Well, it must be really frustrating.

If you didn't have to worry about
homework and tests, you could

your business.

In a year's time, you could have 80
people working for you. Hey, then you

franchise and then maybe roll into some
of the really big cities like L .A. and

Frisco. That's where the big bucks are.

Tommy, this conversation's not about
you.

I really envy you, Ray.

You're sitting on a fabulous
opportunity.

I just can't see why you're wasting your
time in school.

Well, I don't feel that way, Nancy.

Raymond obviously feels that he needs a
good education to fulfill his potential.

That's why he's staying in college.

Maybe you should think about that, too.

Oh, I have been thinking about it. I
have a suggestion.

And I'm sure we all want to hear your
suggestion, too, Nancy.

Well, you wouldn't have to work such
long hours if you just hired me as your

assistant.

Although you have not lost your
appetite, you may now eat.

Are you sure this is the right thing to
do? I mean, maybe you could let me

talk... You did talk to her. I talked to
her. Ray Davis talked to her. Now it's

time for Nancy to do what she's supposed
to do. I don't want to hear another

word about it. Goodbye.

Bye.

Are you ready?

Is it Matt?

Yes, it does matter, young lady. I'm
sticking my neck out with these people

the college so that you can get a
fucking chance.

And the least you can do is be prepared
for it. All my papers are here.

All right. Now, do you know who to ask
for? Yeah.

Miss Evans, the assistant registrar. Now
we're getting someplace.

All right, Nancy, take this application
for reinstatement,

along with this approval from me to each
of your instructors for their

signature. After you have them signed,
return them to me, and then I can give

you your new class admittance list.

Good luck, Nancy.

I'm sure you can work this out.

I could tell from a phone conversation
with your father that he's very much

behind you.

That can mean everything to a marginal
student like you.

Sorry, Daddy.

I'm not marginal.

I'm not.

Why, Nancy, in the name of sweet common
sense, whatever possessed you to just

dump your future in the trash like this?

I just couldn't go back there, Daddy.

School hates me, and I hate it. Oh, so
now what happens? You're going to go

to some place like Willoughby Plumbing?
That wasn't exactly a mutual love, you

know. I knew you'd bring that up. Well,
I mean, we have to face the facts. I

mean, there's not a party out there.
People are spending most of their lives

working at something that they hate. And
even finding underpaid misery can take

months. Well, I already have a lead on a
real fun job.

Frankly, Nancy, I think you should stop
worrying about having fun. Start

worrying about earning money. It hasn't
been easy for me to pay for your

education. I don't think that I can
afford to have you sitting around the

doing nothing. If you're not going to go
to school, you have to support

yourself. I think I can support myself
very well on $600 a week.

Come on, 19 -year -old girls don't earn
$600 a week.

Actually, the ad says $18 to $25.

Read it.

go -go dancer.

I think I have to serve a few drinks
also. Not my daughter. Well, you told me

get a job. That's not a job. No daughter
of mine is going to parade around in

public in half a costume. That's why
it's $600 a wig, Daddy. You don't wear

costume.

I

don't

believe that little twerp.

Is this really Nicholas Bradford?

Who's this?

This is the telephone company. We've had
a number of complaints about you.

Me? Really?

Yes, Mr. Bradford, that's correct.
According to our computer monitor,

been making calls from this number and
annoying a great many people. Do you

admit to this crime?

What did we say?

Tell them they got the wrong number. And
I'm not even here.

We have recorded your telephone
conversations, Mr. Bradford, and those

slimy accomplice.

We have made positive identi... and I
must warn you that this will be used as

evidence against you in your trial.

Trial? What trial?

I'm glad you asked that question, Mr.
Bradford, because now I'm going to let

talk to the man who will be making your
arrest, Agent Scott of the FBI.

Nicholas Bradford, what you have been
doing is a serious violation of the

Federal Communications Act.

Someone's house caught fire while you
were tying up their telephone just to

a joke.

How would you feel?

Pretty bad, I guess.

The telephone is not a toy.

If the FBI hears once more that you are
using it to perpetrate a bad joke, you

will be subject to a lengthy prison
sentence.

Is that clear to you and your criminal
accomplice?

Yes, sir.

Remember... The FBI is on your trail.

Wow.

You never told me we'd get in trouble.

How was I supposed to know the FBI can't
take a joke?

Where are you going?

I mean, you act like it doesn't really
matter if Nancy has a college education

and you're a teacher. Teachers meet lots
of young people like Nancy. They're

bright and they're personable and
they're ambitious and they need some

other than college to help them find
themselves.

And they do, too, millions of them, like
your own son David, for example.

Why does everybody in this house always
bring up David?

Oh, Tom, a college degree is not magic.

It's not a life... time ticket to
success, you know. No, but I'd rather

Nancy our job hunting with a diploma
than dancing without a costume. Oh.

Well, maybe if we really put our heads
together, we can find something that

make you both proud.

You know, Abby, you missed the whole
point. I mean, when I accepted the

responsibility of bringing eight
children into this world, I pledged that

child would have every advantage that a
father could provide within reason.

And reason dictated a college education.

And that's very commendable of you, Tom.
It really is. But that was your pledge.

I mean, did you consult Nancy?

Was he even born when you made it?

I'm sorry to interrupt, Dad, but Ray
Davis is here to see you.

Oh, why now?

I've been too busy with Nancy's problem
to think about his extra credit

homework. Tell him I'll bring it to him
tomorrow night.

I think you should see him, Tom.

Frankly, Abby, I find it very hard at
this moment to face an ambitious

Makes me wonder where I've gone wrong as
a father.

Don't go wrong as a teacher.

See him.

Ray, I'm terribly sorry, but I haven't
done any more on that extra credit

assignment. That's all right, Mr.
Bradford.

It's not important.

Oh, sure, keeping up a 3 .9 average is
really important.

I mean, students like you are very rare
these days.

Well, I guess they're getting rarer, Mr.
Bradford.

I'm afraid I'm dropping out of the
university.

Here's a fresh towel, Nancy.

Thanks. I'll never find a job looking
like this. Yes, you will. You can be a

professional crier at weddings.

Oh, what if Daddy's right? What if I
never find a decent job?

Well, maybe you better take another look
at marriage.

To one of those creeps I've been dating?

No, thanks.

Maybe you better find a better class of
creeps.

At a time like this, who wants to
support a husband?

Ray, I'm sorry that I brought you over
here.

I had no idea that my daughter Nancy was
so persuasive.

But you can't quit college. You just
can't quit.

I'm afraid I have to, and it has nothing
to do with Nancy.

It's my parents.

They insist I drop out.

Why would any parent insist on a thing
like that?

My brother's hurt his back, and they
need me to take over his job.

In my family, the business comes first.

Well, can't you come back to school when
he gets well?

Who knows?

You see, my dad, he's done very well
without a diploma.

He says there's a great business with my
name on it. So why do I need it on a

piece of paper?

I don't know. He just doesn't
understand, Mr. Bradford.

Did you talk to him?

Me?

Oh, gosh, I don't know.

Do you think I would do any good?

You're my teacher.

I gotta keep remembering that.

If I give him the same father's speech
I've been using on Nancy, he'll never

back to school.

Oh, uh, Mr. Lloyd Davis?

Oh, hi, I'm Tom Bradford. I think
Raymond made an appointment for us.

You and Ray may call it that. Frankly, I
see it as a waste of time. We have ten

minutes to get to that next client. I
certainly hope it isn't. Is there

someplace that we could go and talk?

Ray may have told you that we're
shorthanded around here these days.

Make sure you have everything you need.
I can give you five minutes.

Five minutes to discuss your son's total
future?

Help Marvin load the truck.

Okay.

Tell me about Ray's future.

Well, I think that he has an outstanding
future in journalism. And speaking as

his teacher, I think that he should
really stay in college. After all,

what Ray wants.

Can you promise him a job when he
graduates?

Well, no, of course not.

But I'll tell you one thing, Mr. Davis.
I would be very proud to help him find

one when he gets out. But that's three
years from now. In three years, we'll be

a $2 million company, and Ray will be
all set for life.

Not the life he wants. But a lot better
life than I ever had.

Look around you, Mr. Bradford.

I started with one broom.

Now I got ten trucks, and I own this
billboard.

I'm very impressed. I really am. I mean
that. But you're asking him to throw it

all away.

To go traipsing off to God knows where,
just as if his family doesn't exist and

this business doesn't exist.

Correction. He's asking. Because he's
young. Because he doesn't realize what

takes to build something like this. I
need his help. I can't let this business

die. I built it for my sons.

That's your dream, Mr. Davis.

Has Ray even been consulted?

What? As someone asked me a very short
time ago...

Was he even born when you got the idea?

What difference does that make?

The difference is seeing our children as
they really are, or as the way we want

them to be. What I don't see is the
point of all this.

I didn't either the first time I heard
it.

What?

We'd better postpone this meeting, Mr.
Davis.

My ears can't believe what my mouth has
said.

Nancy, is there anything wrong with
being a supermarket bagging person?

All you do is put something in instead
of take it out.

You mean I'm too dense to do anything
else? Tommy was joking!

Tommy was serious. Is there a law
against trying to help? Well, then let

it this way, Tommy.

Serious suggestion is totally laughable.

To qualify for manual labor, we're going
to find you something to be proud of.

Forget it, Abby. I don't belong in this
world.

First I flunk out of college, then I
flunk out of life.

I don't belong in a century.

Oh, Nancy, it's not such a bad century.
I mean, considering the fact that it's

totally confusing and extremely
complicated.

That's for sure.

Daddy, please don't give me another
lecture on how right you were. But I was

right, but for the wrong person. And
being right for the wrong person is as

wrong as being wrong for the right
person. Oh, never mind. Here.

What's this?

Read it.

Zimmerman, Miller, Ackerman, and
Sanchez?

Yes, the third one over from the left.
That's Greg Maxwell's lawyer.

Call him.

Daddy, you can't legally force me to go
back to college.

Now, just listen, young lady. This would
be a much better world if people would

only listen, particularly when they're
thinking of things that they refuse to

listen to.

Now, this Mr. Ackerman is looking for a
nice young receptionist.

Apply for the job.

You're playing some kind of trick.

No, it's no trick. I'm just trying to
bring up my failing grades in

so help me. Send him a resume.

You mean it, Daddy?

You're really trying to help me get a
job?

Well, if you'd be interested in
beautiful offices, handsome junior

enough pay to keep even you in blouses.

I can't believe it. You're actually
helping me. Well, it might help if you

Mr. Ackerman that you're Tom Bradford's
daughter.

Tom Bradford's daughter?

Yeah.

And whatever happens to...

That's a permanent position You

might

change that Abby read this report and
tell me if I graded

B plus.

B plus? I thought it sure deserved an A.
Oh, it does deserve an A, but your

marginal comments deserve B plus.

Oh, don't mention it to Ray Davis or he
might transfer to another teacher.

Is Ray back in school?

Yeah, your dad gets A in persuasion.

No, in cribbing. It was your speech I
gave his father.

My speech?

Huh. How much do you really have to know
to program a computer?

I thought you were happy in the lawyer's
office.

Just looking to the future, Dad.

Advancement's been pretty slow.

Oh, well, advancement is usually pretty
slow after only four days.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, very funny.

What was that?

Oh, just a dumb prank call.

I haven't seen Irving around for a
while.