All language subtitles for Eight Is Enough s02e20 Seven Days In February

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Nicholas.

Dad, can I have a dog like my friend
Kenny P. Landers? I'm afraid not. Well,

don't have to tell me now, you know. Why
don't you think it over?

Sorry, I just thought it over. The
answer is still no, you can't have a

There's enough mouths to feed as is.

Yeah, but I can feed him, you know. And
I'll always have someone to talk to and

play with.

Well, what's the matter with your
brothers and sisters?

They're always too busy.

Oh.

I know what we could get you for a pet.

A plant.

A what?

A plant.

You would be responsible for the growth
of a living thing. You would have to

give it plenty of food and water. See to
it that it gets plenty of sunshine.

Okay, Dad.

Doesn't seem very exciting, though.

Oh, it is. It's very exciting. That
settles it. A plant for Nicholas.

No more talk about the dog.

Dad, can I give my plant a name?

Absolutely. What name did you have in
mind?

Rover.

Thank you.

Oh, boy, are you as tired as you look?
Yes, I am. Why does the day before

vacation always have to be so hectic?

Anything I can do?

Yes, you could put me towards the
bedroom and push.

All I want is this nice, quiet little
bed, and I'm just going to sleep until

next Friday.

Seven days of peace and tranquility.

Why are you shaking your head?

My dear wife.

What? Your innocence is really
refreshing. Yeah?

You correlate vacation with relaxation.

Is this not true?

Not true.

I mean, winter vacation, a la Bradford,
also known as seven days in February, is

free for all a frenzy. It's a madhouse
of mayhem, mirth, and merriment. It's a

week not easily forgotten.

But do not worry, dear wife, because it
only lasts for seven days and then you

can go back to work and relax again.

No, but the house sounds quiet now.

Oh, merely a ploy.

The calm before the storm.

Well, thanks for the storm warning.

My pleasure.

Anything else I can do for you?

Mm -hmm.

You could stop being so cheerful.

All right.

I don't like blind dates.

Don't think of her as a blind date. I
mean, think of her as a date you haven't

seen yet.

I don't see the difference.

The difference is that this gorgeous
girl will not go out with me unless I

a date for her friend.

Hey, Fred.

And we haven't been friends too long, so
I want to tell you a little story. No,

I don't want to hear any stories. All I
want to hear is you saying, yes, buddy,

I'll do it.

As I was saying, I'd like to tell you a
little story about my last blind date.

I don't remember her name, but for the
purposes of this story, let's call her

Moose.

Moose was a lot taller than I was.

Moose was probably a lot stronger than I
was.

And Moose was certainly a lot uglier
than I was. Yes, but what about her

personality?

As refined as a cabbage.

Look, we'll go to a nice, out -of -the
-way, quiet place.

You won't have to look at her. You won't
have to talk to her.

Just show up.

Please.

I hate to see a grown man beg.

Then you'll do it?

No, I just hate to see a grown man beg.

What's going on?

Sad night, can't tell. Yeah, there's a
new disco in Old Town, Dad, and we got

the buggy fever. Yeah. What does that
mean?

I have no idea, Nicholas. Listen, girls,
do me a favor, will you?

Don't break your curfew. I'd hate to
ground you on the first night of your

vacation. Glad you brought that up, Dad.

Did I bring something up?

Yeah, three different curfews make going
out together very difficult. Yeah.

Especially since mine is the earliest.

Oh, what did you have in mind?

A new curfew. How about a sensible hour?
Just for tonight.

You know, you expect me to give you
carte blanche to come home whenever you

want? I mean, if you had said to me,
Dad, could you extend the curfew for one

hour? She'll take it. I'll take it.
Thanks, Dad.

See, I told you off the top of my head.

Boogie!

Oh, my gosh, I've never seen such a
collection of losers in my life.

I think it's time for old Joanie to
lunch.

He fell like an owl.

Oh, it's the stairs.

Oh, Joanie, on a scale from one to ten,
I think I'd give him my scorecard.

I think it's kind of interesting.

What do you say we get, uh... You say
you get nice.

What are you doing?

Listen, Susan, believe me, whatever you
do, you gotta push them away or they'll

never stop bugging you. Oh, tricky,
tricky.

See anybody here you like?

Him.

Smile. Hi.

Hi. Would you like to dance?

Sure.

Would you like to dance?

Of course you would.

Okay, now, where did you get these
seeds?

Kenny P. Leonard gave them to me. Oh,
all right. Now, watch what I do. First

all, it's very important that we moisten
the soil. See that? See?

Now, after we do that...

have to give it a little fertilizer.

What's fertilizer?

It helps make the plant grow.

Where does it come from?

It comes, well, there's cows and there's
horses and like people they

eat and it's very nice.

Oh, I get it. It's another one of those
things I have to find out for myself.

Why am I here?

I'm here because the human condition is
here.

Here is where lonely people come to be
lonely together.

Here is where people come and act
artificial in order to forget how

they really are.

Are you miserable?

I'm sure.

And so are you.

Believe me, I can see it in your eyes.

No, I'm not miserable. It's smoking.

You see, the smoke makes you miserable.

And what about the people who do the
smoking? Why do you think they do that

themselves?

Because it makes them forget how
hopeless everything is.

That's what I hope to bring out in my
play.

I'm here doing research.

You are writing a play?

What is it about?

Destruction and despair amidst the
atmosphere of a singer's bar.

Why's he stop?

You know, usually a guy like me comes to
a place like this and...

Glad I met you, Susan.

Oh, oh no.

I, uh, was supposed to call a business
associate earlier and it completely

slipped my mind.

Uh, do you mind?

Uh, you don't disappear on me now, okay?
I won't, I won't.

I'll be right back. Okay.

So tell me, Howard, how long have you
been a doctor?

Uh, not long enough. That's why I'm...

Still an intern.

Well, where did you study medicine?

Harvard.

You know, most people, they like to
think that I'm bragging. Why?

If that's where you went to school,
that's where you went to school, right?

Where did you attend school?

Sacramento High School. And nobody ever
thinks I'm bragging.

Hey, can I buy you a drink?

Only if you will allow me to buy you
one.

What are you drinking?

Ginger ale.

Well, I'm driving.

Come in.

Hi. Well,

I'm doomed.

Oh, as long as there's nothing
important, I'll go back to study, okay?

No, really, Mary, this is serious.

Big Mouth Bradford's done it again.

Okay, go.

All right.

You remember I told you about Linda
Imes, that transfer student from Peoria?

I've been dying to go out with her, so
I've been holding my breath and waiting

for the right moment.

So finally the right moment came. So we
were sitting there talking at lunch, and

she said that she liked Fleetwood Mac
and that she wanted to go to the concert

next week.

So I said, hey, great, no problem. I
just happen to have two tickets.

Lucky you. That concert I heard was sold
out weeks ago.

Yeah, so did I.

I got to the box office today.

Oh.

Well, you'll just have to tell her the
truth, huh?

Mary, that's not the type of advice I'm
looking for.

Well, I'm sorry.

Look, she's bound to understand, really.

Wait a second.

You got an idea?

I have an idea.

KRLJ is giving away free tickets to the
concert.

Every few hours, you know, the first
person to call in and identify the song

wins two free tickets.

Yeah, but Mary, half of Sacramento's got
to be trying to call.

Yes, Tommy, but half of Sacramento does
not have a date with Linda Imes.

Go away.

It's okay with me. Fine.

Weird.

Who was that girl?

Oh, that was my sister, Joni.

Tell me, Howard, what type of medicine
will you be practicing?

Oh, I won't be practicing medicine.

I hope to go into research.

As a matter of fact, I'm waiting to hear
from Stanford now.

I've applied for a grant in genetic
research.

Hi, Nancy. I'd like you to meet Michael
Slade, a stockbroker. Don't tell me.

Let me guess.

Another sister.

Susan, this is Howard.

Howard's a doctor.

Oh, a doctor. Hey, Doc. Hey, Doc. It
really hurts when I do that.

Your line is, then don't do that.

I know.

Um, I'll catch you at home.

Bye, Doc.

I can't take her anywhere.

I mentioned he's a playwright?

Three times.

You sound like you aren't interested,
Susan. I'm not, Joanie. The only thing

interested in right now is a certain
stockbroker who's got blonde hair, blue

eyes, and a definite box.

Hiya.

You busted curfew, and where's your
coat?

See, I didn't bring it because I didn't
want to cover up the dress, you know.

Oh, oh, Vanity, thy name is a little
bit... Sounds like she's got herself a

cold. Oh, and on the first day of
vacation, too.

Oh, a baby.

It's about time.

Okay, let's hear it. Was he nice?

Very.

Well, did you have a good time?

Terrific.

If he's so wonderful, Nancy, why the
long face?

Because it can never be.

She sounds just like Josh.

One night down, six to go.

You guys just don't understand.

Nancy, we can't help you unless we know
what the problem is.

Okay. You'd find out eventually anyway.

His name is Dr.

Stein.

And he's an intern at the Star of David
Hospital.

So?

So, what does that mean?

So he doesn't make house calls.

Now it's Jewish.

Wait a second. I think I missed the
problem.

Mary, Howard's the type of guy I could
really fall for.

I mean, really fall for.

Sweet.

He's nice looking.

Oh, he cares so much about people.

He's got the kind of future I could
really be a part of. If only he

only what, Nancy?

So Howard's Jewish. Would it be any
different if he wasn't?

Nancy, you're not thinking of not seeing
Howard because... Joanie.

We come from two different worlds.
They're bound to conflict sooner or

You know that. Nancy, that is garbage.

I mean, the only conflict right now is
the one between your heart and your

Look, I know that it's hard for you
right now, but Nancy, before you do

that you're going to regret, like
running off and joining a kibbutz or

a hemlock or changing boyfriends, why
don't you stop and think about it, okay?

Mary, I have.

Coming.

Hi. The answer's still no.

You see this? This is my hand over my
heart. Now I give you my solemn word,

not going to stop bothering you till you
give in.

And I give you my solemn word that I
won't give in. All right, listen.

Can you be bought?

Freddie, let me tell you a story. No,
no, no. I've heard all about movies.

No, I want to tell you about Harpo.

Harpo? When I first met Harpo, I said
hello, and Harpo was stuck for an

Didn't have much to say, huh?

Not as much as my next blind date, Mindy
the Mouth.

Mindy was 5 '2", and her mouth was 4
'8", and she never stopped using it. How

many of these girls have you gone out
with? About a dozen. All right, well,

13's got to be right. I mean,
percentages, right?

Wrong, Fred. Bye -bye.

All right.

Break my heart. See if I care.

telling you the truth i really am sick
have i ever lied to you besides that

besides that time too okay so i've lied
to you before but this time i really

mean it wait a minute listen

did you hear that okay now do

people who aren't sick do that kind of
thing i need the phone

Hey, it's Bobby. He doesn't believe I'm
sick. You tell him. She's sick. She's

sick. That was really convincing.

I'm doomed.

Oh, hi. I'm Michael Slade. I'm here for
Susan. We have a date tonight.

Oh, yes, of course. Come right in. Thank
you.

Susan! I read your comments all the
time, Mr. Bradford.

I enjoy most of them, especially the
ones about the fiscal policy.

Oh, really?

Thanks. Well, what do you do?

I'm a stockbroker at the Layton Company.

Oh, a stockbroker. Anytime I can be of
service. Oh, no, that's nice of you.

Thank you. It's just that by the time I
get through paying all the bills around

here, there's no money left to invest,
believe me.

Good evening, Michael. Good evening,
Susan.

Father.

Hello, daughter.

Michael, I do hope we're not late for
the symphony.

For the what?

Why, for the symphony, Father. You know
Brahms has always been my favorite.

Oh, that's right. I forgot. It slipped
my mind.

Nice to have met you, Mr. Bradford.

Shall we?

Did you see that? Who is that girl?

It was your daughter, Susan.

Oh, no, no, that's not Susan. I know
Susan.

That's an imposter.

Jody around?

Oh, uh, yes.

Won't you come in?

I hear that you're a playwright.

Did you ever write anything that I may
have seen?

Hi,

Josh.

Dad, Abby.

Bye, Joe.

Bye, Josh.

Great talking to you.

What was that? Did you see that guy?

This house is going off the deep end.

Oh, there's the doorbell. Yes, another
surprise.

Would you like me to get it? No, no, no,
let me get it. It's becoming fun. Okay,

then.

Hello, I'm Dr. Stein.

Oh, yes, of course.

Come in.

It's busy again. I'm doomed.

Don't mind him. That's my son. He's lost
his mind. Please step in.

You are Mr. Bradford and Mrs. Bradford?
Yes, we are.

You'll have to excuse me.

Everything's been crazy around here
today.

Nancy!

So you're a doctor.

You know, it hurts me when I go like
this.

We have this friend, Dr. Maxwell, and he
always laughs when I do that. That's

his favorite joke. He thinks it's so
funny.

Hi, Howard. Hi, Nance.

Have you met everyone?

Sure did.

Well, we'll be seeing you real soon,
Mrs.

Bradford, Mr. Bradford. Bye.

He seemed very nice.

Yes, well, at least he could talk.

Well, Elizabeth is sick and Mary's
studying, so congratulations.

Oh, for what?

You've run out of daughters.

Oh, that's right.

Well, at last we'll have some peace and
quiet.

Nicholas, what do you think? Look, look,
Rover is actually sprouting. Your old

man has a green thumb after all.

Good work, Tom.

Thanks. I knew you'd appreciate it.
What? Tom?

What is the Tom business, anyway?

Kenny P. Lathers calls his dad by his
first name.

There's that name again. Who is this
kid, anyway?

You know, my friend with the dog.

Oh, Nicholas, I thought we agreed that
we wouldn't talk about that dog anymore.

We'd just concentrate on Rover.

Yeah, but a plant can't do nothing. A
dog can roll over, do tricks, and you

take it for a walk. A plant just... No,
no, Nicholas. A lot of people think that

they can actually talk to their plants.

You mean they can understand what I'm
saying?

That's what a lot of people think.

Robert, can you understand what I'm
saying?

Well, what did he say?

He said he wants a dog.

finite death in the center of harmony.
We equivocate to regain

equilibrium. Oh, there is dreadful
silence in the groin of harmony.

We do not communicate. We equivocate. We
die!

Equivocating!

It's really powerful.

The whole theme of...

Equivocation.

And death.

A lot of girls would laugh at me
bringing them here.

I'm not laughing.

You know, Joanie, if I would ever let
myself be happy, which I wouldn't, but

I would, I could really be happy with a
girl like you.

Josh, would you let me read your play?

I mean, I know you'd rather not, but
it's really important to me.

You're important to me.

And I have a feeling that your play is
you.

It's called Never Together Forever.

It's about a man's inability to love.

Did you like the Brahms?

No.

I'm bored.

Yeah, that makes two of us. It's my
business for me to be seen here. You

make some good contacts.

Michael! Michael, my boy, good to see
you. Ryan's oil money.

Hello, Michael.

You remember my wife?

Well, it's a marvelous evening, isn't
it?

Well, Michael, who's your little friend?

Oh, why, this is... Susan Bradford. Of
the publishing Bradfords. Oh, really?

And which publications are those, my
dear?

Oh, you've heard of the Sacramento
Register, of course.

Of course, of course.

A lot of doctors are content to spend
the rest of their lives fixing noses and

catering to rich hypochondriacs.

But not you.

You're going to change the world, right?

Maybe.

But right now my world seems pretty
wonderful.

Howard, may I ask you a question?

Sure.

Are you a religious man?

What brought this on?

Come on. You know. No, I don't.

Please, Howard. I mean, this is
important to me.

Well, I suppose that deep down inside, I
believe in God and miracles.

It was something that I was brought up
on. It's not something that is easily

dismissed.

Why all the questions?

How's your pastrami?

Clean. Good. I'll have that in rye with
a caniche and a cream soda.

I'll have the corned beef on white with
mayo.

Why don't you change the white to rye
and the mayo to mustard?

Want something to drink?

Milk? Wrong again, honey.

Take that two cream sodas.

I'm afraid I'm not very good at this.

You'll learn.

You'll learn.

I hope so.

It's hard enough handling one daughter
in love, but handling three at one time,

I tell you, that is murder.

Hey, what's this?

What? Look at this.

Oh, my gosh. You know what that is? It's
a parachute.

A parachute?

Hey, since when did members of the press
corps have parachutes? Oh, well, you

know, in case we had to drop a
preposition.

No,

actually, this belonged to Staff
Sergeant David Plaut. In those days in

Army, they used to use pure silk to make
parachutes, and Plaut told me he was

going to use the material for his
daughter's wedding dress. So I said,

Plaut, I got a great idea.

I'll trade you one of the Army's
typewriters, and you give me one of the

parachutes. So we did it. What did the
Army get?

Two years out of our lives.

You know, it's a funny thing, though,
isn't it?

I mean, that we should find this after
all these years.

I wonder if that could be an omen.

I have an announcement to make.

Well, announce.

Dad, Abby, I'm in love.

Nancy, who's the lucky guy?

Howard. That's great.

The omen.

And I'm hoping to become engaged to him.

Nancy. Wait, there's more.

More?

I was thinking in order to form a more
harmonious relationship, I'm planning to

convert to Judaism.

Oh, excuse me. Could you tell me where I
could find the rabbi, please?

I'm Rabbi Wise.

You're the rabbi?

There are old rabbis and there are young
rabbis.

What can I do for you?

Well, why don't we start with your name?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Nancy. Nancy Bradford.

Would you like to talk about something,
Nancy?

I want to convert.

Well, why don't we sit down a minute?

Okay.

So, Nancy, tell me, why would you like
to adopt our religion?

Well, I think it's a very interesting
religion.

Well, did you study it in school?

No.

But I saw Fiddler on the Roof.

Good movie, Fiddler on the Roof.

Why don't you tell me what the real
reason is?

Well, I met this Jewish boy.

Rabbi.

Rabbi, is that the wrong reason?

The wrong reason?

I've heard some reasons that are better
than others.

But I don't think there is a wrong
reason if you're sincere and your

open.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm
going to give you a book of Jewish laws

and traditions.

And I'd like to suggest that you take
another look at the Old Testament.

Do some studying and some thinking.

And come on back and we'll talk some
more.

Okay?

Okay.

Thank you.

Look, why are you doing this to me?

Well, it is a big deal.

Hey, look, Fred, my dad's waiting
outside. I've got to go, all right?

What do you mean he's not?

Look where.

Will you get out of that phone booth? I
don't like having my apartment under

surveillance.

All right.

All right.

Yes, Fred.

Yes, you win.

Yes, I crack.

Call off the bloodhounds. Thank you.

I'll go. I'll go.

Yes. You're welcome, friend.

What's this, ravioli soup?

No, it's matzo ball soup, and it's a
Jewish delicacy.

My matzo balls.

They didn't get too cold.

You think so, huh? Yeah, I do.

Is this whole dinner going to be Jewish
delicacies?

Uh -huh.

We're going to have chopped liver,
Bubba's gefilte fish, pickled herring,

lean corned beef on rye.

And do me a favor, Elizabeth.

Don't ask for mayonnaise.

Aren't Jody and Susan's boyfriends
coming, too?

So? Well, don't you think they're going
to feel like they're in the wrong house

or maybe the Twilight Zone?

Why? People who eat in Italian
restaurants aren't always Italian.

Well, don't take this personally, but I
think I'm going to skip dinner.

Bad cold.

Yeah, that liver must have come from the
biggest chicken ever.

What are you talking about?

Well, even I know that chopped liver is
made with chicken liver.

stuff, Nancy.

Thanks, Joanie. Yeah, great stuff,
Nancy.

It's real exotic.

Must have spent hours on it. No, no, no.
Just a little something I threw

together.

I'm telling you, Howard, you can't start
too early. Now, we got a lot of doctors

that can bet with us.

You come and see me.

I'll have you on the golf course three
afternoons out of the week. I don't play

golf. Why don't you stop hassling the
doctor? Can't you see he's not into

Are you talking to me?

Are there any other stock pushers in the
room?

Boy, this is the best kefir fish I've
ever had.

Me too.

Can I have some ketchup?

You know, there are doctors that don't
play golf.

Name three. Well, there are people who
are more concerned with human suffering

than with making a buck. Listen, I got
nothing against human suffering, but

what's wrong with making a buck, huh?

Uh, Nancy, the table looks lovely.

Excuse me, Abby.

Listen, what if I were to tell you that
in a few short weeks a product is going

to hit the market which is going to go
right through the roof?

And this baby is a sure thing.

Nothing is sure, J .P. We're not even
sure the sun's going to rise tomorrow.

Oh, yeah, I'll take that action.

Listen, they're coming out with a brand
new product.

Gourmet dog food.

Oh, come on.

Come on, now, who's going to invest
money in something like that?

Pickled herring? Oh, no, please, that
stuff is terrible. It's going to open at

three, and it's going to go right to 25
in no time at all. Who cares?

Josh, you haven't even touched your
fish.

Come on, Joanie, you know how I feel
about eating dead things.

I can get you in on the ground floor.

You know what I think? I think it's a
crime that medical research is begging

dollars and you're pushing dog food.
That's what I think.

Money, money, money. Have you ever
really looked at it closely?

Felt it?

Smelled it?

It stinks!

Of human sweat.

Anxiety, ulcers, and heart attacks.

Uh, well, would anyone like some more
wine?

No, no, no. With this rich food, it
would be awful for the liver.

Let me tell you a new story.

Now, my father's business partner is a
millionaire several times over.

About a month ago, he was driving
through a toll booth.

He tossed his quarter at the machine,
the quarter mist machine.

So he opens the door and bends down to
try to pick it up.

Only he forgot one thing.

His seatbelt was on, and it was on
tight. And you know what he got for that

lousy quarter?

Double hernia. Now, that's interesting.

Was it an inguinal hernia?

Well, a hernia's a hernia, but you get
my point.

Frankly, no.

It's all over lousy money. It is enough
to make you want to throw up.

An inguinal hernia is distinctly
different from a hiatal hernia. A hiatal

is aggravated by bad eating habits. You
guys with your hernias and your

capitalism, I tell you, it makes me
sick. Sick, you're depressing.

I am depressing, that's right.

Depression is truth. Depression is the
chemistry between neurosis that

responds to vomit.

Hi, Josh.

I read your play.

Wow.

I mean, I really got into it, you know.

It's just that I... It's just that what?

It's just that I think maybe in the
beginning that the audience will have a

time having sympathy with you. So what?
Who cares about the audience?

I mean, either they like it or they
don't, right?

Come on, don't get defensive. I'm just
trying to give you some constructive

criticism, that's all. Oh, great.

Now you're giving me euphemisms from
grade school.

Shallow, Joanie, really shallow.

Oh, boy.

Shallow.

I suppose the giant rats possessed by
the devil in Act 3 is deep. All right,

knock it off.

I don't have to stand here and take
criticism from an actress.

Are you really going to have to explain
that one?

No problem. I mean, you act, you
interpret, right?

I create. Do you see the difference
there?

A creator takes a blank page and winds
up with art.

What do you think acting is, huh?
Chopped liver?

Acting is showing up for rehearsals on
time. Acting is doing what the director

tells you to do.

If you have so little respect for what I
do, how come you're wasting so much

time with me?

Honestly?

Yeah. Take a look at yourself in the
mirror.

You're sexually appealing.

Truth hurts.

You just can't be honest with people.

So, where are the girls? Will you relax?
I'm not relaxed. I'm relaxed. You're

the one who should be nervous. I'm
holding you personally responsible for

This is on me, all right?

Huh? For general admission, please.

You are acting crazy.

I mean, this girl is a prize.

Come on.

Just relax.

Hey, there they are. Huh?

Yours is the one on the left.

Did you say on the left? On the left,
yes.

Mine is on the right.

Uh, this is David.

And this is Merritt.

Hi.

Hi.

Look at this. They can't take their eyes
off each other.

And who says blind dates don't work out,
huh?

You can thank me later.

Haven't we met somewhere before?

You do look awfully familiar.

You too.

Perhaps it was Portofino, 1957.

No, no, no, I think Acapulco, 1962.

Michael.

Michael, I have something on my mind.
Please, you can wait till the

What are you doing?

I'm turning off the TV set.

Michael, I feel that our joint outlook
is a little too limited and I would like

to expand our horizons.

In other words, I would like to spend an
entire evening just talking.

You're stuck, aren't you?

It's Saturday, and the stock exchange
was closed today.

Yeah, well, you're making me a little
self -conscious, you know what I mean?

Like, right out of the blue, you say to
a guy, you want to, uh, talk.

You took me off guard.

Off guard?

Uh -huh.

You're stuck.

You know, that's too bad, Michael.

Because you're the nicest, most
intelligent, mature man I've ever met.

So what's wrong?

You're also the most boring.

I think you know your way out.

See you around.

Oh, Doc, hi. Hi, is Nancy home?

Uh, yeah. Come on in.

I think she's upstairs in her room
keeping holy the Sabbath.

I'll go get her.

Hey, Nancy!

You think I'm boring?

Would you like my professional opinion?

Yes.

Finance. I heard from Stanford.

They approved my grant. I start next
week.

All right, Howard. That's wonderful.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

San Francisco's pretty nice in the
springtime. It's wonderful. Fantastic.

You're going to have to come up and
visit sometime.

Visit you?

Well, sure. You're not going to write me
off just because I'm a few hours away,

are you?

Write you off?

Howard,

I thought I was going to go with you.

Didn't you say that our happiness was in
our future together?

Nancy, my immediate future is for me.

Alone.

You know, the workload, the tension.

I can't expect someone else to carry
that burden with me.

And I don't get a choice?

Maybe you just don't want me hanging
around you, Howard.

Now, you know that's not true.

No, I don't know that's not true.

Have you ever once taken the time to
find out what's important to me?

You know, you didn't even thank me for
the other night.

What other night?

The chopped liver, the Jewish bread, the
kosher wine.

You know, all this time, Howard, I was
preparing to convert to Judaism for you.

Well, for us. And you didn't even have
the decency to... Hold it.

Wait a minute, Nancy.

I never said I was Jewish.

Oh, I'm not a complete idiot, Howard. I
mean, I can figure some things out for

myself. Your name is Stein, isn't it?
Yes, but it's German.

I'm not Jewish.

Oh, boy.

I am a complete idiot.

No, you're not.

Look, this has happened to me before.

But if you had any doubts about me, any
questions, you should have come to me

and asked me.

I would have told you.

But with...

Religion aside, I still think that it's
the wrong time in my life for you and

me.

Maybe later.

I'd like that.

Maybe.

That is, if the invitation's still open.

It certainly is.

Why are you staring at Rover?

Oh, read this.

What?

Cannabis sativa?

Nicholas has been growing marijuana.

Where?

From the ever -loving Kenny P. Landers.

I tell you, that kid and his family have
been nothing but trouble.

So what are you going to do?

I don't know.

Such a cute little thing.

Oh, really, look at the cute little
leaves.

Stop laughing. You're laughing and I
have to put Rover to sleep.

I'm sorry.

Don't look at me that way.

I'm sorry it didn't work out, Nancy.

Yeah, so am I.

Thank you for the books.

Rabbi?

I'm really not sure I want to turn my
back on everything.

What I mean is, Howard's leaving.

It hasn't really changed everything.

You mean you still want to convert?

Well, this past weekend I read more of
the Bible.

And I really felt something.

It was a good feeling.

Sort of like a sense of purpose.

I don't know. This is really hard for me
to explain. Well, this is a strange

turn of events.

Nancy, let me ask you this.

Have you always believed in God?

Not assumed there was a God. I'm not
saying that.

but really believed in him and his love.

Well, I never really thought about it
until recently.

You know what I think?

I think maybe you've discovered God.

By accident, perhaps.

But I prefer to think it was by design.

Call it God's will.

I don't understand.

It's the Lord you've discovered, Nancy.

Not Judaism.

We may have helped out a little bit.

And we've got a saying around here.

He who enters with a closed soul may
leave with an open heart.

Thank you.

Mazel tov.

Excuse me?

Good luck.

Boy, am I glad this vacation's almost
over.

We'll be fanged out when you're sitting
in class.

I say we take a vow never to fall in
love again. Yeah, until spring vacation.

Seven days in May.

Hey, you guys, quiet. I finally got
through.

Hello? Yeah, the name of the tune is I
Crashed My Heart on the Highway of Your

Love. It is?

I did?

Hey, everybody, I won!

Hey, Tommy!

I won, I got through. Yeah, this is
Tommy Bradford. When can I... What?

Yeah.

Congratulations.

Yeah, for what?

For winning.

Hey, why the long face?

They ran out of tickets to the concert
about an hour ago. I won two KRLJ t

-shirts.

I hope they have Linda Irons' size.

Well, Rover, it's time to say goodbye
now.

I don't understand why.

When Dad was trying to explain, he
started a lot of sentences but didn't

them. Mary says you're, uh, um... Victim
of society?

Yeah, I don't know what that means, but
I hope it makes you feel better.

Dad. What? What is it? You know how I
despise violence of any kind.

Yes, so what?

I'd be more than willing to adopt Rover.

Cute. Very cute.

Maybe you could try it with your eyes
closed.

Hmm? Your eyes closed.

Ah, take it away. I can't stand
unpleasantries.

It's okay, Dad. You did what you had to
do.

There's some good plants, and there's
some bad plants, and there's some

plants.

Thanks, Nicholas.

Dad,

can I have a dog now?

Hi,

Dad.