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1
00:00:08,407 --> 00:00:09,875
I just ate a bag
of cheese boodles
2
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,710
without using my hands.
3
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:15,547
Lazy Tuesday, you are
delivering in a big way.
4
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:18,550
Yeah, it's nice
to finally have a day
5
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:22,554
where nothing interesting
happens whatsoever.
6
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:27,926
Everyone get down!
7
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,095
Don't let it taste
human flesh.
8
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,832
- What is it?
- Can we keep it?
9
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,901
Kill it, kill it!
10
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:42,941
Patience.
11
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,612
Gotcha!
12
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,851
Great. Now get it
outta here.
13
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:55,154
Smells like if death
could barf.
14
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,889
Great-unkle Ford,
need any help with that?
15
00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:59,558
I've read all about
these creatures in your journal,
16
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,627
- and I think I know how to--
- No!
17
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,328
I'm sorry, Dipper.
18
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:04,997
On the dark, weird road
I travel,
19
00:01:04,999 --> 00:01:07,332
I'm afraid you
cannot follow.
20
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:10,169
Well, call me for dinner.
21
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,608
Maybe next time then?
Or not.
22
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,644
Or never.
23
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,713
Oh, Dipper, don't
take it so hard.
24
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,115
No, do take it hard.
25
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,750
Take it hard
and serious.
26
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,919
My brother is
a dangerous know-it-all
27
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,787
and the stuff he's messing
with is even worse.
28
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,590
Do yourself a favor and stay
away from him, you hear me?
29
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,358
But Grunkle Stan,
all summer long,
30
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,327
I've wanted to know who
the author of the journal was.
31
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,029
Now the guy lives
in our basement,
32
00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:38,764
and I can't even
talk to him.
33
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,866
Don't worry about
what's on the basement.
34
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,635
- You belong up here with me and Mabel.
- Yeah!
35
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:47,739
Besides, the season finale
of Duck-tective is airing this Friday.
36
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,908
That's all the mystery
you need this week.
37
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,244
Come on, quack
with us, Dipper.
38
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,645
Quack, quack, quack.
39
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,247
Yeah. Quack, quack, quack.
40
00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:05,124
Quack, quack, quack!
41
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,192
Why isn't he quacking?
42
00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,668
Dear Mom and Dad,
43
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,103
we've been in Gravity Falls
for a few months,
44
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,404
and so much has happened.
45
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,072
Just yesterday,
gravity reversed itself,
46
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,441
almost destroying
the universe,
47
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:59,178
and totally wrecking
the whole town.
48
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,013
Well they say it was
an earthquake,
49
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,748
but you know what I think?
50
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,349
I think I'm gonna
have to start serving
51
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,018
pineapple
right-side up cake.
52
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,887
Am I right?
53
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,722
Am I right?
54
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,325
Let the rebuilding
of the town begin.
55
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,460
Wrecking ball,
start wrecking things.
56
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,731
But he coolest part
of the summer
57
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,733
was when Grunkle Stan's
twin brother
58
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,402
came out of
this portal thingy
59
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:25,837
Now we have two grunkles
for the price of one.
60
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,340
And they are adorable
together.
61
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,042
"We love each other
so much!"
62
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,745
Mabel, you'll never guess
what I found
63
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:34,846
at the store today.
64
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,748
Dogs. Dogs with hats!
65
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,252
No. It's my favorite
fantasy-talking, level-counting,
66
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,188
statistics and graph-paper
involving game of all time:
67
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,924
Dungeons, Dungeons,
and More Dungeons!
68
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,392
You wanna play it
with me?
69
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,962
Well, I do like unicorns,
70
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,830
and that hot elf
looks promising.
71
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,066
- How do you play?
- The rules are simple.
72
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,368
First, you roll
a 38-sided die
73
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,036
to determine the level
of each player's
74
00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,738
statistical analysis
power orb.
75
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,107
These orbs relate directly
to the amount of quadrants
76
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,909
that your team
has dominion over,
77
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,410
which is inverse to
the anti-quadrants
78
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,945
in your quadrant satchel.
79
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,847
And then
we ride unicorns?
80
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,315
Yes!
81
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,516
And no.
82
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,754
First, we make a graph.
83
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,790
This is like
Homework the Game.
84
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,393
Come on, Mabel.
I need at least two people to play.
85
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,895
Oh, wow,
would you look at that?
86
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:26,965
Two people.
87
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:30,102
Hey, Soos, up for
a little game of D & D & More D?
88
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,770
Sorry, Dipper, I don't
go in for
89
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,772
that pen-and-paper
kinda stuff.
90
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,407
- I'm more of an FCLORP-er.
- A what?
91
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,142
FCLORP.
92
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:39,444
Foam & Cardboard Legitimate
Outdoor Role Playing.
93
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,847
It is where a passionate
brethren of craftsmen
94
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,915
bring their dreams
to magical reality.
95
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,285
Let yon priestess go,
Elf Mage.
96
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,553
Never, Paladin
Radmaster.
97
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,189
Fireball, fireball,
fireball.
98
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,959
I'm a fortress.
99
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,961
Well, thanks
anyways, Soos.
100
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,964
Say, is this that game
that's mostly math and writing
101
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,166
and isn't anything like
the picture on the box?
102
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,969
Yes, it is! You wanna
play with me, Grunkle Stan?
103
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:08,040
Ha! Look, kid, I prefer
to do my dice rolling in Vegas.
104
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:10,042
Besides, only a game
designed by nerds
105
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:12,811
would have "Charisma"
as a fantasy power.
106
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,813
Check this out.
107
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,214
"When facing
yon adversaries,
108
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:19,184
shield thyself under
an elfan buttress."
109
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,320
Ha ha, say it again.
110
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,322
Buttress.
111
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,457
Hey, laugh all you want.
112
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,893
You guys just aren't
smart enough to understand it.
113
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:30,862
Sorry, dude, but it is
kinda nerdy.
114
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,265
Well, I'm off to lay siege
to a goblin fortress.
115
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,000
To my grandma's backyard!
116
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,272
Oh, nice, you rolled a 17.
117
00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:43,375
And this is sad.
118
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,977
Maybe I should start obsessing
over Wendy again.
119
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,213
Hey, give it back.
120
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:51,049
Come on, Gompers.
Let go.
121
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,352
Oh, man, my 38-sided die!
122
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,338
Dipper, stop!
123
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,873
Great-uncle Ford.
124
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,442
What did I say
about coming down here?
125
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:20,912
My work is far too dangerous
for a single living soul
126
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:23,048
to spend even one second--
127
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,183
Wait. Is that
a 38-sided die
128
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,986
from Dungeons, Dungeons,
And More Dungeons?
129
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,255
Yeah. You know that game?
130
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:33,592
With pen and paper,
shield and sword...
131
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:37,028
...our quest shall be
our sweet reward!
132
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:42,234
This is my favorite game
in the whole multi-verse.
133
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,069
I can't believe
they still make it.
134
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,937
They do, and I've been
looking all day
135
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,272
for someone
to play with me.
136
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,976
My boy, do you know
what this means?
137
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:54,446
We must stop everything
I've been working on at once,
138
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,148
and play!
139
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,587
That's going
to leave a mark.
140
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,425
Okay, I think we've got
everything we need to watch
141
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:08,960
the season finale of
Duck-tective tomorrow.
142
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,495
I even made mouth ramps
143
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,297
so we can pour food
into our mouths
144
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,399
without taking our eyes
off the screen.
145
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,637
And I recreated
the main character
146
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,505
out of some spare
taxidermy parts.
147
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,240
Quack, quack,
I'm the duck detective.
148
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,109
Who stole my bread loaf?
149
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,145
That is so messed up.
150
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,980
Dipper would love that.
151
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,415
Yeah, where is
the little squirt anyway?
152
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:32,350
I haven't seen him
all afternoon.
153
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:36,421
All right, you
enter the chamber.
154
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,990
Princess Unattainabelle
beckons you.
155
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,126
But wait, it's a trap.
156
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:45,330
An illusion cast by
Probabilitor the Annoying.
157
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,731
You know his weakness, right?
158
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,733
Prime statistical
anomalies over 37
159
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,570
but not exceeding 51.
160
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,972
Yes! In your face,
161
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,475
you cardboard wizard.
162
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,243
Hmm, the old boy looks
a bit different
163
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,145
than he did back in my day.
164
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,080
Yeah, they change the art
every few years.
165
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,049
Thankfully, you missed
the period
166
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,585
when the creators of the game
tried to make it "cooler."
167
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:09,254
Man, this game
is boring.
168
00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:13,592
You dare challenge
Probabilitizzle?
169
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,061
♪ Put the cat back
and roll the dice ♪
170
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:19,164
♪ Don't step to the wizard
'cause the wizard... ♪
171
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,066
...updated for
the nine double-deuce!
172
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,668
- Available wherever dope games are sold.
- Peace!
173
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,038
Must've been
dark times, those '90s.
174
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,675
Sounds like a good time
to be stuck between dimensions.
175
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:34,112
Great-uncle Ford,
I've been meaning to ask you.
176
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,181
Where were you before
you came out of that machine,
177
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,016
and what have you
been doing down here?
178
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,651
Are you working on something
behind that curtain?
179
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,020
Dipper, it's best if
you and the family
180
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,356
stay away from
that subject.
181
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:47,092
Honestly, I'm not sure
any of you could handle the real answer.
182
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,027
- But-but I could handle it.
- Ah!
183
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,129
But I can show you
a little something
184
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,297
I brought back with me.
185
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:57,702
An infinity-sided die.
186
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:03,174
That's so cool...
and impossible.
187
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,744
These things are outlawed
in 9,000 dimensions.
188
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:09,080
You wanna know why?
Look at those symbols.
189
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:12,117
Infinite sides means
infinite outcomes.
190
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,553
If I rolled it,
anything could happen.
191
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,321
Our faces could
melt into jelly.
192
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,189
The world could
turn into an egg.
193
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,458
Or you could just
roll an eight. Who knows?
194
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:24,095
That's why I have to
keep it in this protective cheap plastic case.
195
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,164
Now, back to the game.
196
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,166
You've got Probabilitor
on the ropes.
197
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,172
Oh, man.
198
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,242
And then, if I had a drag
in here, and then
a plus-three--
199
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,477
Dipper, are you gonna
go to sleep?
200
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,546
You've been saying
dork words for hours.
201
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,316
Sorry, Mabel.
I gotta finish this dungeon.
202
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,251
It's gonna totally stump
Great-uncle Ford tomorrow.
203
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,320
I can't wait to see
the look on his face.
204
00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:52,390
You're, uh, spending
a lot of time with old Fordsie lately, huh?
205
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,159
You have no idea.
206
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,094
I knew the author
must be cool,
207
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,462
but he's better
than I imagined.
208
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,431
And he doesn't make fun
of me all the time,
209
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,099
the way you
and Grunkle Stan do.
210
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,234
Give him time.
211
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,637
Hi-oh!
212
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,439
Ah, you got me.
213
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,543
You got me.
214
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,447
Thanks for coming over
to watch tonight's
215
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,482
Duck-tective
finale, Grenda.
216
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:21,252
Of course. I'm so invested
in the life of these characters.
217
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,288
Hey, hey,
look at you.
218
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,156
Someone's
all dressed up.
219
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,458
It's a big night.
220
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,560
I think we all remember
where we were
221
00:10:28,562 --> 00:10:30,328
when we learned
Duck-tective was shot.
222
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,532
Viewing positions,
everyone!
223
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:40,238
Ahh! Graph paper.
Kill it, kill it!
224
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,141
Dipper, could you
maybe move this to another room?
225
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,442
No dice.
226
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,144
We ran out of room
in the basement
227
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,245
and we're going for
a world record.
228
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,247
Now dice!
229
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,649
Thirty-two.
230
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:54,252
- Yes! 7,000 points damage.
- You got me.
231
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,254
Why? Why with this?
232
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,156
You wanna break
a record, Ford?
233
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,291
You already got it for
world's nerdiest old man.
234
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:03,328
Hey, at least I'm not
all keyed up to watch a kids' show.
235
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,330
I'll have you know
that Duck-tective
236
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,799
has a big mystery element,
and a lot of humor
237
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,300
that goes over kids' heads.
238
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,202
I don't get
a lot of it,
239
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,171
but I like animals
in human situations.
240
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,240
Grunkle Stan,
it starts in a few minutes.
241
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:19,778
Move that
and pay the price.
242
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,313
Oh, what, 50 magical
dwarf dollars?
243
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,883
Don't mock our fantastical
monetary system.
244
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,818
I'll mock all I want.
It's my TV room.
245
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,453
It's my house!
You...
246
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,556
Listen, Stanley,
did it ever occur to you
247
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,325
that if you joined us,
you might actually have fun?
248
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,960
What? Now you listen to me.
249
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:38,196
As long as I live,
I will never--
250
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,731
- Grunkle Stan, wait.
- Ever.
251
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,933
- Stanley!
- Play your smarty-pants nerd game.
252
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,601
No!
253
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:54,813
Mortals of Dimension 46
Apostrophe Backflash.
254
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,381
Kneel before me and...
255
00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:01,419
Snivel.
256
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,288
I am Probabilitor,
257
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:06,324
the greatest wizard
in all mathology,
258
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,393
give or take
an error of 0.4.
259
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,261
Is this normal?
260
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,797
Have you come to send us
on the quest of a lifetime,
261
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,432
because we're the smartest
players you've ever met?
262
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:17,669
You are the smartest
players I've ever met.
263
00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:19,537
That's why I'm going
to eat your brains,
264
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:20,905
to gain your intelligence.
265
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,373
It's what I do.
266
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,776
- It's his thing.
- What?!
267
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,245
Seize them!
268
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,881
Your math is no match
for my gun, you idiot.
269
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,249
Math ray!
270
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:35,754
I'm not here to play games.
271
00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:40,925
Now to the forest
for the ultimate game.
272
00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:48,433
So the room's
free now.
273
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,401
- Who wants to watch
Duck-tective?
274
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:54,838
Nobody?
More couch for Grenda.
275
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:58,409
Oh, no. That crazy wizard
is gonna eat
276
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,846
our brother's brains.
We have to stop him.
277
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:04,449
Maybe let him get
a couple of bites in Ford's brain first.
278
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,518
Even things out,
smartness-wise.
279
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,387
- Grunkle Stan!
- All right, all right.
280
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,755
I guess if we have
no other choice,
281
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,824
we'll go on a...
282
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,592
epic wizard quest.
283
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:17,529
Everyone grab a weapon.
284
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,734
Nice.
285
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,971
We're coming
for you, Dipper.
286
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,439
And Great-uncle Ford.
287
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,841
And possibly
that hot elf,
288
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,709
if he's got anything
to do with this.
289
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,485
With each brain I eat,
290
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,454
I shall increase
my enchant-elligence.
291
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:44,789
If my hands were free,
292
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,991
I'd break every part
of your face.
293
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,426
The time has come.
294
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,462
Hot elf, ready
the brain-cooking pot.
295
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,932
Uh, yes, Probabilitor.
296
00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:07,345
We must be getting close.
297
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,380
These fairy bites
are getting more frequent.
298
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,583
Hey, look, listen.
299
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:15,920
Halt! You interlopers
are trespassing
300
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,556
on the ancient forest
of Probabilitor the wizard.
301
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,058
If ye wish to pass,
302
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,595
first ye must complete
seven unworldly quests,
303
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:26,464
each more difficult
than the last.
304
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:26,500
No!
305
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,501
Is he... dead?
306
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,971
He's magic, sweetie.
I'm sure he's fine.
307
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,806
There's no cops
in the forest.
308
00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:37,542
We take this
to our graves.
309
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,479
- What do we do, what do we do?
- Stop thinking, Dipper.
310
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,514
The more wrinkly
your brain gets,
311
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:44,916
the more he'll
wanna eat it.
312
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:47,385
And now, a little
math problem.
313
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,421
When I subtract
your brain from your skull,
314
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:54,525
add salt and divide
your family, what's the remainder?
315
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,461
Your butt!
316
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,597
What? My butt isn't part of
this particular equation.
317
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,868
Drat! How did you make it
past my one guard?
318
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,436
Very well.
319
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:09,474
There's only one way
your family can save you.
320
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,976
You must defeat me
321
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,812
in Dungeons, Dungeons,
And More Dungeons,
322
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:17,148
real life edition!
323
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,420
What? Oh, come on.
324
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,490
I choose my characters
versus...
325
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,060
Yours.
326
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:31,095
Oh, my ears.
327
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,897
They're so pointy.
328
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,599
There better be
something protective
329
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,068
under this tunic.
Oh, no, there isn't.
330
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,070
Seriously?
331
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,072
Can't we just, like,
arm wrestle or something?
332
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:43,207
Come on, this game
is a lot of fun.
333
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:45,476
I had my mom
pack me a lunch.
334
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,079
Ew, apple slices?
I'll eat you last.
335
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:51,816
Just make with
the rules, ugly.
336
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,885
The game is
a battle royale.
337
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,453
We help our characters
by casting spells
338
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,455
determined by
rolls of the dice.
339
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,625
If you win, I go
back to my own dimension.
340
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,195
But if I win,
I eat their brains.
341
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,563
Hey, I'm not sure
this is such a good--
342
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,532
- Deal!
- Oh, boy.
343
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,601
Let the game begin!
344
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,739
Attack!
345
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,179
What do we do?
What are our moves?
346
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,548
There are no moves.
You make them up.
347
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,782
What? Really?
348
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,818
Yes. I tried to tell you.
349
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,488
This game involves math,
but also risk and imagination.
350
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,724
- Risk!
- Imagination?!
351
00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:35,760
Grunkle Stan, make something up.
It's just like lying.
352
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,696
I cast... uh...
353
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,066
Shield of shielding.
354
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:46,637
Ha! We're doin' it.
355
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,574
Shield of shielding
reversal spell.
356
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,779
I cast giggle time
bouncy boots.
357
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,685
Fat flame-y sword.
358
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,954
Super-hot flame-y sword!
359
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:08,893
No!
360
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:11,562
Drat you.
You'll never outrun my...
361
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:16,267
Ogre-nado. It is what
it sounds like.
362
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,974
I cast Centaur-taur! Yah!
363
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,949
Mabel, I am so confused
and so proud right now.
364
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,873
Ha ha ha, yes!
365
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,609
I was saving
the worst for last.
366
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,011
Oh, no.
367
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:01,779
The impossi-beast.
368
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,648
Hey, I thought
they banned this character.
369
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,783
Think again. I'm playing
the controversial
370
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:08,686
1991-1992 edition.
371
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,656
I'll think of some weapons.
372
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,091
You don't understand.
373
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,625
This is the most powerful
monster in the game.
374
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,628
He can only be defeated
by rolling a perfect 38.
375
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,696
But the odds of that are--
376
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,632
Hey, long odds
are what you want
377
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,201
when you're
a world-class gambler.
378
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,636
All right, Stan,
you can do this.
379
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,605
Papa needs
a new pair of...
380
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,240
twins!
381
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,783
No!!
382
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,651
Sorry, nerd wizard.
383
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:44,288
All your smarts
are no match for dumb luck.
384
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,190
I cast Death Muffins!
385
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,999
- Yes!
- Yes!
386
00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:57,869
Ha ha ha!
387
00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,837
The game is, like, over.
388
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,739
Excelsi-whatever.
389
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,675
No! I'm returning to
my own realm.
390
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,345
I'm turning into
pure math.
391
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:11,115
What are the odds?!
392
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,086
Grunkle Stan,
that was amazing.
393
00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:16,721
How did you know
that you would win?
394
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,123
Hey, a gambler never reveals
his secrets.
395
00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:24,762
Man, that was fun
for ages eight to 80.
396
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,265
Or a million or however
old you guys are.
397
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,868
You know, I'm sorry for
making fun of your game, kiddo.
398
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,904
Sure, it might be
too nerdy for me,
399
00:19:32,906 --> 00:19:34,739
but it's just the right
amount of nerdy
400
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,340
for you and my brother.
401
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,176
And if you two
wanna hang out sometimes,
402
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,744
I won't get in your way.
403
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,012
Actually, after all that,
404
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,980
I could use
a little mindless fun.
405
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:46,717
Guys, we can watch
the second showing of Duck-tective.
406
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,085
It's not too late.
407
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,728
I just don't understand
who shot you.
408
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,198
The only person clever enough
to defeat Duck-tective
409
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,433
is...
Duck-tective.
410
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,745
He had a twin brother
all along?
411
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,881
That's the big twist
we were waiting for?
412
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,049
What a rip-off.
413
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,817
I predicted that,
like, a year ago.
414
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,857
This will be here
if you ever need it.
415
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:30,728
Really? Even though
I got us into the whole game-playing mess?
416
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,797
Ah, we both got
carried away.
417
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:36,267
I guess we'd both
gone for a while without a friend.
418
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,803
Dipper, can I
tell you something?
419
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:41,172
You asked me earlier
420
00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:42,907
what I was working on.
421
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,742
Well...
422
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,844
I dismantled
the portal.
423
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:49,146
An inter-dimensional
gateway is too dangerous
424
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,915
for the world
it feeds into.
425
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,784
That's why I was
mad at Stan for using it.
426
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,486
He saved me,
but as I feared,
427
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,923
the instability
of the machine created this.
428
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,758
An inter-dimensional rift.
429
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,226
I've contained it for now,
430
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,161
but it's
incredibly dangerous.
431
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,163
Dipper, I don't want you
to tell anyone about this.
432
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,065
Not Stan, not even
your sister.
433
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:11,269
- Do you understand?
- Oh, of course.
434
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,405
In my time, I've made
many powerful enemies.
435
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:17,141
But I trust you
with this secret.
436
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:19,277
Now get yourself
to bed.
437
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,946
I have much research
to do.
438
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,414
Good night,
Great-uncle Ford.
439
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,049
Good night, Dipper.
440
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,965
Guys, do you ever think
maybe we're doin' this
441
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,833
'cause our lives
aren't special enough?
442
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,102
That we use fantasy as
an escape to avoid
443
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:46,504
the self-improvement
we all need?
444
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:47,838
That maybe we should
just go out
445
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,240
and grow with people?
446
00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:52,443
Fortresses can't
speak Durland.
447
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,445
I'm a fortress.
448
00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:58,949
Does anyone
wanna rescue him?
449
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,652
- Ah, I'm tired.
- I'm good.
450
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,321
Long day.
451
00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:05,022
♪ Don't step to the wizard
452
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:05,956
♪ 'cause the wizard
don't play nice ♪
32815
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