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1
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,714
Nice. And don't
forget bug spray.
2
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:09,425
It's perfect for spraying
in the face of hitchhikers.
3
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,427
Whoa! An RV, camping gear.
4
00:00:11,719 --> 00:00:13,429
Are you running
from the law again?
5
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:16,432
Dude, it's the ultimate
Oregon road trip adventure.
6
00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:18,643
More like revenge trip.
7
00:00:18,809 --> 00:00:21,604
Every year, my tourist trap competitors
prank the Mystery Shack.
8
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:24,815
Last year, those hooligans
duct taped Soos to the ceiling.
9
00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:26,108
That was a fun 78 hours.
10
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:27,568
Well, no more.
11
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,862
This year, we're visiting
every tourist trap along
12
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:30,863
the Redwood Highway,
13
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,491
and I'm gonna prank back
every single one.
14
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:35,117
Bow-wow.
15
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,328
Time to let the Road Dawgs bark.
16
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,789
That is us.
We are the Road Dawgs.
17
00:00:39,997 --> 00:00:41,958
Thanks for letting me bring
Candy and Grenda along
18
00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:43,834
for our road trip, Grunkle Stan.
19
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:45,086
The more, the merrier.
20
00:00:45,294 --> 00:00:47,838
Just sign these
non-disclosure agreements.
21
00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:49,799
None of your parents
are lawyers, right?
22
00:00:50,007 --> 00:00:51,842
What do you say, dude?
You comin'?
23
00:00:52,009 --> 00:00:54,762
I already went to the trouble
of packing all your stuff.
24
00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:56,806
Even the stuff you kept in
that secret box under the bed.
25
00:00:57,014 --> 00:00:59,934
Whoa!
What the...
26
00:01:00,142 --> 00:01:01,686
What's that?
27
00:01:01,894 --> 00:01:03,396
Uh, nothing.
28
00:01:03,604 --> 00:01:05,856
Just Wendy stuff,
from old times.
29
00:01:07,483 --> 00:01:10,194
Bro, I thought you were
finally past all this.
30
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:11,696
I know, I know.
31
00:01:11,904 --> 00:01:13,406
I know she's not interested,
32
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:14,907
and I know it's over,
33
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:17,785
but how do you just turn off
the way you feel about someone?
34
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:20,246
Two words, Dipper.
Move on.
35
00:01:20,454 --> 00:01:22,665
Yeah, dude, and a road trip's
the perfect place
36
00:01:22,873 --> 00:01:24,500
to meet new people.
37
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,056
Man, RV's are amazing.
38
00:02:20,264 --> 00:02:22,141
I can't believe
we're sitting at a table
39
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,851
in a moving vehicle.
40
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,729
Ooh! Informational
travel pamphlets.
41
00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:29,732
I want to read them all
and gain their travel knowledge.
42
00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:32,735
Kid, those useless pamphlets
have never helped a single person.
43
00:02:32,943 --> 00:02:35,488
The only wrinkly old
travel guide you'll need is me.
44
00:02:35,696 --> 00:02:36,781
Now look alive.
45
00:02:36,989 --> 00:02:38,783
We're coming up on an attraction
46
00:02:38,991 --> 00:02:41,577
run by the most black-hearted
proprietor in all of Oregon.
47
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:46,290
Don't let the face fool you.
48
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,750
This woman lit my car on fire
49
00:02:47,958 --> 00:02:49,669
on two non-consecutive
occasions.
50
00:02:49,877 --> 00:02:51,337
Whoa!
51
00:02:51,545 --> 00:02:53,255
I'm going in, girls.
52
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,383
Whaaaa!
53
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,596
Okay, like Soos said,
54
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:02,640
meet new people.
55
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:07,144
So, uh, come here often?
56
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,813
No. I'm a tourist.
57
00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:10,773
Ha ha, you're funny...
and cute.
58
00:03:10,981 --> 00:03:12,566
I mean, not cute.
59
00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:14,652
I mean, you're not not cute.
60
00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:16,404
Whew, let me start over.
61
00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:18,322
My name is Dopper.
62
00:03:21,283 --> 00:03:22,868
Dipper, hop to.
63
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:25,496
This ball of yarn
ain't gonna prank itself.
64
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,796
Something on your mind, kiddo?
65
00:03:34,004 --> 00:03:36,257
Thinkin' about Miss Cold Shoulder
over there, huh?
66
00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:38,259
Ah, so embarrassed.
67
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:40,970
Look, earlier this summer,
I ruined my chances with Wendy.
68
00:03:41,178 --> 00:03:43,597
Yeah. Chances.
69
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:47,143
And I wanna move on,
but I'm terrible at talking to girls.
70
00:03:47,351 --> 00:03:48,936
The moment I open
my mouth around them,
71
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,980
I unravel like...
like...
72
00:03:51,188 --> 00:03:53,983
well, I can't think of a perfect
metaphor, but you get the gist.
73
00:03:54,191 --> 00:03:55,609
At this rate, I'm gonna grow up
74
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,571
to be a sad loner
like Toby Determined.
75
00:03:58,779 --> 00:04:01,490
Whoa, never say that
about yourself.
76
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:03,743
Lucky for you,
I'm an expert on women.
77
00:04:03,951 --> 00:04:05,286
Listen to me, kid.
78
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:06,954
When it comes to girls,
always be confident,
79
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,706
and be funny, but not too funny.
80
00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:11,542
And be kind of annoying,
but in a loveable way.
81
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,211
I don't know, Grunkle Stan.
This sounds kinda jerky.
82
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:17,339
Hey, "jerky" is just
a term non-jerks use
83
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,425
to bad-mouth innocent jerks.
84
00:04:19,633 --> 00:04:22,428
Confidence, comedy, some third
word starting with a "C."
85
00:04:22,636 --> 00:04:25,264
The three C's of the
Stan Pines Dating Technique.
86
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:27,683
At the next tourist trap,
try out my advice
87
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:28,893
on the first girl you see.
88
00:04:29,101 --> 00:04:31,729
Cool.
Grunkle Stan, thanks.
89
00:04:31,937 --> 00:04:33,564
Hey, I'm full of good ideas.
90
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:34,940
Speakin' of which,
91
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,859
everyone, now!
92
00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:46,994
Why, you gol-darned
son of a no-good!
93
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,750
I'll get you, Stan Pines!
94
00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,756
Ah, Upside-down Town.
95
00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:00,049
The nausea capital of the state.
96
00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:02,760
Whatever you do,
don't use the bathrooms.
97
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,970
Road Dawgs!
98
00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:13,062
- Whoa!
- So weird.
99
00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,697
All right, kid, this is it.
100
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:25,699
Be confident.
101
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,409
Hi. I'm Dipper.
102
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,036
Crazy place, right?
103
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,205
Oh, hi.
I'm Emma Sue.
104
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,832
If you pretend
we're right-side up,
105
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,125
it looks like everyone's
hair is standing on end.
106
00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:36,836
Huh, yeah.
Weird, right?
107
00:05:37,044 --> 00:05:38,587
Pretend you're screaming.
108
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,756
Okay. You gotta take
a picture of me, though.
109
00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,301
Let's see... whoa!
110
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,845
Ho ho, just kidding.
111
00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:47,805
You are the worst.
112
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:48,931
You bet I am.
113
00:05:49,139 --> 00:05:50,599
I'm bad, Emma.
114
00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:51,767
Kind of a jerk.
115
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:53,394
Emma, come on.
We have to get to Canada
116
00:05:53,602 --> 00:05:54,728
before your mother gives birth.
117
00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,772
It's a long story.
118
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,732
Maybe you could
tell me sometime.
119
00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:00,442
Here's my email address.
120
00:06:00,609 --> 00:06:02,611
Write me and I'll
tell you all about it.
121
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:05,781
A girl gave me her email,
122
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,324
and it wasn't out of pity.
123
00:06:07,491 --> 00:06:09,493
Ha ha, yes!
124
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,787
Ugh! I'm okay.
125
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,205
I'm better than okay.
126
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,291
Mabel, hi.
There's my Grenda.
127
00:06:15,499 --> 00:06:16,834
Candy, looking great,
looking great.
128
00:06:17,042 --> 00:06:19,837
Is that a new pair of glasses?
Very shiny.
129
00:06:20,045 --> 00:06:21,881
Whoo!
130
00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:23,883
Maybe it's the blood
pooling in my head,
131
00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:26,010
but Dipper seems different.
132
00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:29,388
Yes, good different.
133
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:30,931
Now, Soos.
134
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:41,025
Not too upside-down now.
135
00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:44,111
What a lovely normal home.
136
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,405
Stan Pines!
137
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:49,909
I can't believe it worked.
138
00:06:50,117 --> 00:06:51,869
What do I do now?
Do I email her?
139
00:06:52,077 --> 00:06:53,787
No, no, you practice.
140
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,998
The more girls you talk to,
the better you get at it.
141
00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:58,834
Grunkle Stan,
these tips are priceless.
142
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:01,587
And that's just
the tip of the advice-berg.
143
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,483
- Everyone on board?
- Probably.
144
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,529
Guys? Hello?
145
00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,365
Anyone?
146
00:07:29,531 --> 00:07:31,283
They'll come back for me.
147
00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:35,162
So then I said to the bouncer,
148
00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:37,081
"Where's your ID, ugly?”
149
00:07:37,247 --> 00:07:38,874
That's where I got this scar.
150
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,085
Grunkle Stan, I gotta say,
151
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:42,753
this was one of
the best days ever.
152
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,297
Look!
153
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,466
That's the Stan Pines
method, kid.
154
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:48,801
Works every time.
155
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,261
I'm just a little worried,
though.
156
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:54,348
I mean, is it bad to flirt with
this many girls at once?
157
00:07:54,556 --> 00:07:56,308
I'm just trying
to get over Wendy.
158
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:58,102
I don't wanna hurt
anyone's feelings.
159
00:07:58,310 --> 00:07:59,603
Please. That's
the best part
160
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,021
of flirting on a road trip.
161
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,982
You're not gonna see
any of these gals again.
162
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:04,817
To moving on.
163
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,863
Okay, it's time for...
164
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,949
Truth or dare or don't!
165
00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:14,159
I choose don't.
166
00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:15,953
You always choose don't.
167
00:08:16,161 --> 00:08:17,830
Fine. Uh... truth.
168
00:08:18,038 --> 00:08:21,625
Do you like someone?
169
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:26,005
Uh-oh.
Someone's blushing.
170
00:08:26,171 --> 00:08:28,048
Okay, maybe just a little.
171
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:30,342
I don't know for sure.
It just started.
172
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,219
Tell us, tell us!
173
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,471
Okay. It begins
with a "D,"
174
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,265
and ends with
an "ipper.”
175
00:08:36,473 --> 00:08:38,851
- No.
- Yes.
176
00:08:40,644 --> 00:08:43,772
Ready, Grenda?
Three, two, one.
177
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,319
Man, coyotes sound
a lot worse than I remember.
178
00:08:52,364 --> 00:08:54,825
Candy, Candy, all my life dreams
are coming true right now.
179
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,286
My brother, my best friend.
180
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:58,662
I can't breathe!
181
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,707
I'm so excited, I can't breathe!
182
00:09:01,915 --> 00:09:03,500
I never really
noticed him before,
183
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,627
but he seems deeper lately,
184
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,838
less sweaty and more charming.
185
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,715
But how do I approach him?
186
00:09:09,923 --> 00:09:12,634
Don't even worry
about that, Can-Can.
187
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:14,428
Mabel's got a plan.
188
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,682
Mabel's got a plan.
189
00:09:20,392 --> 00:09:22,436
All right, campers,
we got another day
190
00:09:22,644 --> 00:09:24,021
of breakin' laws
and breakin' hearts.
191
00:09:24,229 --> 00:09:26,231
Everything up until now
has been a walk in the park
192
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,816
compared to our next attraction.
193
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:30,319
Is it a walk in
the world's biggest park?
194
00:09:30,527 --> 00:09:32,321
Sort of.
There she is, kids.
195
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,364
Mystery Mountain.
196
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,118
Five times the size
of the Mystery Shack,
197
00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,746
and what's worse,
she has real attractions.
198
00:09:40,954 --> 00:09:42,623
Oh, I have read
about this place.
199
00:09:42,831 --> 00:09:45,626
It has sky tram,
and a mummy museum,
200
00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:49,463
and sightings of half-human,
half-spider creatures.
201
00:09:49,671 --> 00:09:52,216
Even their made-up legends
are better than ours.
202
00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:54,927
Today, the mountain falls.
203
00:09:56,595 --> 00:09:58,847
Question: the backseat
makes me carsick.
204
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:00,557
Can I sit up front today?
205
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,893
Also a question:
I'm the size of two people.
206
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,020
Can I have a whole seat
to myself?
207
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:06,522
I don't know. Sure.
208
00:10:06,688 --> 00:10:07,773
Ooh, change-up!
209
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:12,069
Wait, that means
it'll be just me and...
210
00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:13,946
Candy Chu.
Sixth grade.
211
00:10:14,154 --> 00:10:15,864
Oh! Hey.
212
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,621
You're sitting close.
213
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,084
So Dipper, I was wondering,
214
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,044
would you maybe
want to walk around
215
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,213
the Mystery Mountain
with me today?
216
00:10:31,421 --> 00:10:32,756
Sure. I mean...
217
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,299
wasn't that already the plan?
218
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,426
I mean, just us.
219
00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:38,846
You and me.
Candy and Dipper.
220
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,355
All right, Road Dawgs,
I got five bucks
221
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:50,816
for whoever can tip
the big blue ox.
222
00:10:51,024 --> 00:10:52,442
Go, go, go.
223
00:10:52,609 --> 00:10:54,319
I will see you in there.
224
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,157
Hey, what's with
the mopey mug, kid?
225
00:10:58,365 --> 00:11:00,325
Stan, you gotta help me.
226
00:11:00,492 --> 00:11:02,161
Everything you taught me
worked too well.
227
00:11:02,327 --> 00:11:04,037
I think Candy just
asked me out on a date.
228
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:06,707
Hey, look at
this little champion.
229
00:11:06,915 --> 00:11:08,333
What? No. I mean...
230
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,752
Candy's great, she's sweet,
and she's smart,
231
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,589
but I never thought
of her like that.
232
00:11:13,797 --> 00:11:15,507
This is all moving way too fast.
233
00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:19,344
Okay, I just need to be
honest with her,
234
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,889
and tell her I'm not
ready for all this.
235
00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:24,808
Don't you see
what's happening here?
236
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,727
That's your dumb obsession
with Wendy gettin' in the way
237
00:11:26,935 --> 00:11:29,313
of your future.
If you wanna move on,
238
00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:31,565
you gotta say yes to
whatever comes your way.
239
00:11:31,773 --> 00:11:33,692
Speaking of which...
240
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:37,529
But I don't wanna lead her on.
241
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,740
Uh-uh-uh, watch and learn.
242
00:11:39,948 --> 00:11:42,534
Whoa, I seem to have
lost my number.
243
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:44,411
Can I borrow yours?
244
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,830
You are a riot.
245
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,749
What brings you here?
246
00:11:48,957 --> 00:11:51,960
We don't normally get men this
handsome round these parts.
247
00:11:52,127 --> 00:11:54,755
Well, Darlene,
248
00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:58,008
between you and me, what I'm
doin' here is a little secret.
249
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:01,303
Oh, you seem like
a man with secrets.
250
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,389
Ugh!
251
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,016
You know, I'm going on a break.
252
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:09,186
You wanna take the sky tram
up to Widow's Peak?
253
00:12:09,394 --> 00:12:13,774
Take my advice or don't,
but clearly, I know what I'm doing.
254
00:12:13,982 --> 00:12:15,901
Oh, fancy.
255
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,035
Oh, I can't believe
this is happening.
256
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:26,787
A real date.
257
00:12:26,995 --> 00:12:28,664
I wonder what
they'll name the baby.
258
00:12:28,872 --> 00:12:30,165
If I had a baby, I would name it
259
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:33,210
Grenda 2: The Sequel.
260
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:35,963
You would make
such a good mother.
261
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,591
This place is so enchanting.
262
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:40,968
Sort of confused by the phrase
263
00:12:41,176 --> 00:12:42,803
"new mummies daily" ” though.
264
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,179
I mean, how does that even work?
265
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:46,473
This mountain's
full of mysteries.
266
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:49,768
Like why is my head
falling on your shoulder?
267
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:51,478
Beeoop.
268
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,772
Uh, yep, this is what I want.
269
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,233
This is all part of the plan
and stuff.
270
00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:57,776
Oh, Dipper, hey.
271
00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,695
Corn maze girl.
272
00:12:59,903 --> 00:13:01,863
I was wondering when you'd call.
273
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,699
Dipper, who is this?
274
00:13:03,907 --> 00:13:05,200
Nobody. I mean, uh...
somebody, but...
275
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,160
Dipper!
276
00:13:07,327 --> 00:13:09,579
I didn't recognize
you right-side up.
277
00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:11,790
You'll never guess
where my mom gave birth.
278
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:13,333
Hey, who are these girls?
279
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,335
Dipper, why haven't you called?
280
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,754
Did our romantic log ride
mean nothing to you?
281
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,339
I can't believe it.
282
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:21,174
You agreed to go on
a date with me,
283
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,176
and you are seeing
all these other girls?
284
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,512
Well, answer us.
Which one of us do you like?
285
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,848
I... I like all of you.
286
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:29,141
I mean, I don't like any of you.
287
00:13:29,349 --> 00:13:30,726
I mean...
288
00:13:30,892 --> 00:13:32,352
I was trying to learn
how to talk to girls.
289
00:13:33,937 --> 00:13:35,647
- Unbelievable.
- SO gross.
290
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,274
What a jerk.
291
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:40,861
Dipper Pines, I thought
you were a nice guy,
292
00:13:41,069 --> 00:13:42,863
but I guess you only
care about yourself.
293
00:13:44,614 --> 00:13:47,117
Uh, Candy, wait.
294
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:48,910
I messed everything up.
295
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:51,788
I gotta find Stan.
He'll know what to do.
296
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,749
Oh, are you sure you wanna go
297
00:13:53,957 --> 00:13:56,293
this deep into the forest?
298
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:57,586
It's so scary.
299
00:13:57,794 --> 00:13:58,962
Don't worry, toots.
300
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,798
That spider people stuff
is just an urban legend.
301
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,884
I can't believe
people fall for it.
302
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,344
You're so brave.
303
00:14:05,552 --> 00:14:07,554
What can I say?
I'm a real catch.
304
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,264
Yes.
305
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:11,141
The catch of the day.
306
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,810
Uh, I think your contacts
fell out.
307
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:20,025
Uh, have you seen
an old guy around here?
308
00:14:20,233 --> 00:14:22,277
Big ears, orange nose,
a real know-it-all.
309
00:14:24,237 --> 00:14:26,406
Uh-uh-uh.
Flame retardant raccoon says,
310
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,784
don't hug forest fires.
311
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,872
Stan, where are you?
I need your advice.
312
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,375
Grunkle Stan?
313
00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:38,335
Hey, buddy boy.
314
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:40,545
Remember how we were
talkin' about my technique?
315
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:43,215
Well, sometimes it leads
to unexpected consequences.
316
00:14:43,423 --> 00:14:45,133
Yeah, you can say that again.
Where are you?
317
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,968
The good news is,
I've solved the mystery
318
00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,470
of where Oregon's
mummies come from.
319
00:14:48,678 --> 00:14:49,805
The bad news is,
320
00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:51,848
I'm about to become one.
321
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,851
Turns out Darlene is
one of those spider people.
322
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,895
But beyond that,
the date's been okay.
323
00:15:00,565 --> 00:15:02,067
Wait, wait, wait.
Darlene's a spider person?
324
00:15:02,275 --> 00:15:03,735
How is that possible?
325
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,237
I don't know.
326
00:15:05,445 --> 00:15:06,905
One minute, we're having
a perfect date,
327
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:09,074
and the next minute,
she's growing extra legs
328
00:15:09,282 --> 00:15:11,284
and encasing me in webbing.
Women, right?
329
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,245
You couldn't tell
she was a spider?!
330
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,288
I was blinded by flattery.
331
00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:17,666
Also this acid
she spit in my face.
332
00:15:17,874 --> 00:15:19,292
I'm up the mountain
at Widow's Peak.
333
00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:21,795
All right, I'm gonna
find you. Stay put!
334
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,424
You got it.
335
00:15:25,632 --> 00:15:28,593
Uh-uh. Trying to escape?
336
00:15:29,886 --> 00:15:31,555
You tricked me.
337
00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:34,224
I'm 80% certain you don't
really love me at all.
338
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,893
Ha! Men will fall
for anything.
339
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:39,104
"You're so funny.
Great story.
340
00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:42,023
I love a man
with shoulder hair."
341
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:45,068
You... you didn't mean it
about my shoulder hair?
342
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,237
Tell me, Stan,
before I transformed,
343
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,656
who'd you think was in charge?
344
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:53,702
You, with your cheesy lines
and fake confidence?
345
00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:56,121
I'm the master pick-up
artist here.
346
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:57,873
Sorry, toots.
347
00:15:58,081 --> 00:16:00,792
This time, you're getting
used for your body,
348
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,545
which, to my weird species,
is food.
349
00:16:03,753 --> 00:16:06,631
Allow me to slip into
something more horrifying.
350
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,304
I wonder what beverage
pairs well
351
00:16:12,512 --> 00:16:14,723
with a vintage
70-something-year-old man.
352
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:16,725
Be right back.
353
00:16:16,933 --> 00:16:20,353
Come on, Dipper, where are you?
354
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:22,522
I feel like such a fool.
355
00:16:22,689 --> 00:16:25,400
I should have known to guard
my heart in a cage of ice.
356
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:29,321
There, there.
Let my calming voice soothe you.
357
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:30,822
It is helping.
358
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,491
Girls, there you are.
359
00:16:32,699 --> 00:16:35,535
- Betrayer!
- Oh, you. What do you want?
360
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:39,039
- I need your help.
- With what, some sick jealousy trip?
361
00:16:39,247 --> 00:16:41,416
- Yes, sing it, Candy!
- Testify!
362
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:43,585
Look, I'm so sorry
about everything,
363
00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,045
but Stan's in trouble.
364
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:46,630
You can totally kill me later,
365
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:48,215
but right now, he needs us.
366
00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:50,217
I'll explain on the way.
367
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,601
Please. I don't know if
you're really up there or not,
368
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:02,812
but if you are, please
save me, Paul Bunyan.
369
00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:04,564
Mr. Pines!
370
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,525
Whoa, did that really work?
371
00:17:10,153 --> 00:17:12,739
Quick, before the rest
of the venom sets in.
372
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:17,202
No! Where are you?
373
00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:20,789
The sky tram, everybody on.
374
00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:22,374
I have a plan.
375
00:17:22,582 --> 00:17:25,168
- Ha ha, yeah!
- Perfect.
376
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,587
Ride like the wind, sky tram.
377
00:17:30,131 --> 00:17:31,800
Welcome to Trambience,
378
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,677
the world's lowest
treetop tram ride.
379
00:17:33,885 --> 00:17:37,305
Enjoy the sights
at 0.1 miles per hour.
380
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,099
Move, move, move!
381
00:17:39,307 --> 00:17:41,434
Can't this thing go any faster?
382
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,770
No, it can't.
This is Trambience.
383
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,490
Enjoying the view?
Take a picture.
384
00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:02,539
We're doomed!
385
00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:04,040
We're all gonna die!
386
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,294
Listen carefully.
387
00:18:07,502 --> 00:18:09,963
This sky tram has
an emergency drop switch.
388
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,924
Below us is Oregon's
largest Paul Bunyan statue.
389
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:16,886
And Old Reliable goes off
in five, four...
390
00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:18,763
Candy, wait! Don't pull that lever.
391
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:20,098
Kid, are you crazy?
392
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:21,850
Now!
393
00:18:42,829 --> 00:18:46,166
My only weakness, a giant boot.
394
00:18:46,374 --> 00:18:48,710
A giant newspaper or a giant cup
395
00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:50,295
would also have been pretty bad.
396
00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:54,049
Thank you for riding
Trambience sky tram.
397
00:18:54,257 --> 00:18:56,885
Tell your friends
it was a boring, boring ride.
398
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,303
Kid, that was ingenious!
399
00:18:58,511 --> 00:18:59,804
How'd you know that would work?
400
00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:03,058
Useless travel pamphlets.
401
00:19:03,266 --> 00:19:05,477
Stanley.
402
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:09,773
I'm sorry. I don't know
what came over me.
403
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:11,858
You'll let me out, right?
404
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,526
What? After all that?
405
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:15,737
Seriously, do I look like
an amnesiac?
406
00:19:15,945 --> 00:19:19,658
You're so funny.
407
00:19:19,866 --> 00:19:22,035
Have you ever considered
becoming a comedian?
408
00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:24,788
You know, I actually have.
409
00:19:24,996 --> 00:19:27,165
Comedy is too subtle these days.
410
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:29,834
My style involves
more over-sized props.
411
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:32,045
- Let me get you out--
- No!
412
00:19:32,253 --> 00:19:33,755
Oh, yeah, right.
413
00:19:33,963 --> 00:19:36,758
You win this round, Stan,
but mark my words.
414
00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:39,052
As long as there's
men like you out there,
415
00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,012
with their dumb one-liners,
416
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,640
and pick-up moves,
I'll never run out of prey.
417
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:46,935
Get in the car, get in the car!
418
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,787
All right, kid,
I gotta admit something.
419
00:20:05,995 --> 00:20:07,664
I'm no expert on women.
420
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:09,666
Truth is, I've been
divorced once,
421
00:20:09,874 --> 00:20:11,459
and slapped more times
than I can remember.
422
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:13,253
Confidence can buy you a lot,
423
00:20:13,461 --> 00:20:14,879
but at the end of the day,
424
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:16,965
pick-up artists tend
to get our heads bitten off.
425
00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:18,842
When it comes to women,
I'm a failure.
426
00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:21,594
Hey, we're both failures.
427
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,765
You know, even if
your dating tips were bad,
428
00:20:25,932 --> 00:20:28,643
I actually haven't
thought about Wendy all day.
429
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,854
Plus, you did teach me
to be more confident.
430
00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:32,856
I guess I just need
to learn to use
431
00:20:33,064 --> 00:20:34,941
that power for good.
432
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:39,779
Hey, I found a pamphlet
I don't think you've read yet.
433
00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:46,077
It's okay, Dipper.
434
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:49,205
The open road makes
people do crazy things.
435
00:20:49,372 --> 00:20:52,125
Plus, after seeing you
flee the spider like a baby,
436
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,085
I kinda lost interest.
437
00:20:54,252 --> 00:20:56,880
Yep, yep.
I deserve that.
438
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,302
I still feel a little bad
439
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:03,845
about wrecking
those tourist traps.
440
00:21:04,053 --> 00:21:05,764
Ah, come on.
Everyone loves my pranks.
441
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:07,682
And the best part is,
I never have to face
442
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,809
any consequences...
Sweet lord!
443
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,271
Ah, come on!
444
00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:20,069
That's what you get.
That's what you get!
445
00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:24,657
I don't understand.
446
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:27,076
I completely don't deserve this.
447
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:29,287
Oh, man, are we gonna
have to help clean this up?
448
00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:31,623
Nah, I'm sure
Soos will take care of it.
449
00:21:31,831 --> 00:21:33,750
Where is Soos anyway?
450
00:21:38,296 --> 00:21:41,090
Okay, Soos, remember
what your grandma taught you.
451
00:21:41,299 --> 00:21:43,510
When you get lost,
stay exactly where you are,
452
00:21:43,718 --> 00:21:46,137
and don't move.
453
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:52,352
Don't move.
454
00:21:58,107 --> 00:22:00,652
You know, I would make
a really good scarecrow.
32333
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