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1
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SONG: 'Ave Maria'
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She is risen.
Olivia!
3
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Shared bathroom!
4
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,959
CROWD SHOUTING
5
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,639
CROWD: Trans people are people!
Trans people are people!
6
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,959
Trans people are people!
Trans people are people!
7
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,479
Trans people are people!
8
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,319
Trans people are people!
Trans people are...
9
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,959
It's all over social media.
10
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:59,959
Did you not think to check
the advert before it went up? No.
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00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,959
How am I supposed to do an accurate
stock check of the mushrooms
12
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,959
when there's new ones
growing on the old ones?
13
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,479
I'm a bit busy
to focus on fungus, Linda!
14
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,959
I've got a car park
full of activists
15
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,580
planning an all-night protest!
16
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THUMP,
SHE SCREAMS
17
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On the bright side, Simon, that was
definitely one of our tomatoes.
18
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,959
I can tell - it had
a real Pellocks quality to it.
19
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:20,959
Stop it.
Sorry.
20
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,999
I thought I was saving the company
money, you know?
21
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One billboard, two products.
22
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,959
Ladies' razors and condoms
side by side.
23
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,319
"Legs so smooth,
you're gonna need protection."
24
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Just... It's clever, it's clever.
25
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,959
At its heart, it's clever!
26
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It says, "Ladyboys, get out."
27
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,959
SIMON GROANS
28
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:44,960
Oh, no. This is a bloody nightmare.
29
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I fully support transgender people,
all right? I just... I just...
30
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I want that out there.
31
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,960
Er, my mum, she...
32
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,960
..she dressed me like a little girl
till I was five or six, so...
33
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,959
..I get it, you know, I get it.
34
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,959
Don't.
OK, this... this can be recovered!
35
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,959
Erm, what's the quickest way to show
we're a fully inclusive workplace?
36
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,959
SHE CLICKS FINGERS
Beefy Linda?
37
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,959
Don't know.
Nothing? You ain't got nothing?
38
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,959
Er, I work here.
Oh, my God.
39
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:16,959
Erm... Ah, right!
40
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,639
Erm, does anyone know
any transgenders?
41
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:23,960
I'll look it up.
"Transgender woman in my area."
42
00:02:24,421 --> 00:02:26,959
Oh, I was not expecting that.
43
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,960
Let me see.
Erm...
44
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,960
No, no, I haven't finished.
45
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,960
Ah... Hmm...
46
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,960
HE EXHALES
Of course.
47
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,959
Yeah, but I'm just saying,
most women sit down to wee.
48
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,959
Most women have no comeback
to an unsolicited dick pic.
49
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,959
At least I can
aggressively reciprocate.
50
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,159
Look, can you please
tidy up after yourself?
51
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,959
I haven't got time
to restack shelves.
52
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,160
I've gotta get to work to...
restack shelves.
53
00:03:05,161 --> 00:03:08,959
No way you're destroying
the Blood Chimera on your own.
54
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,959
So call in sick and help me.
Well, I'm not sick.
55
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,959
Well, I've seen
your anime collection.
56
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:14,959
Agree to disagree.
57
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:15,999
All I'm saying, Thomas,
58
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,959
is it feels like you don't wanna
hang out with me any more.
59
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,959
Liv, I work nights.
60
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,999
It's not my fault
you choose to start your day at 9pm.
61
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,479
Unless, of course,
62
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,959
you've confused being transgender
with Transylvanian.
63
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,959
Anyway, what's the point
of you dolling yourself up every day
64
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:31,959
just to sit on your arse?
65
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:32,959
Get out, meet people.
66
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,959
Thomas, why would I wanna
leave this flat
67
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,370
when all of my favourite people
are right here?
68
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,999
Well, look, seeing as you are up,
it's now officially three months.
69
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,959
I thought it would be a good time
to pick up that conversation
70
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,960
about you contributing to rent.
71
00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:50,959
Tomothy, I would love to contribute,
I really would.
72
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,959
I'm not gonna do that, though,
and I'm gonna tell you why.
73
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,959
That's because
I have very recently decided
74
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,159
that I am, in fact, saving up for
the old gender realignment surgery.
75
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,959
I thought you didn't want a vagina.
76
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,959
You said you were scared
of a bee flying up in it.
77
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,959
Oh, who are you, my gynaecologist?
78
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,959
Cos it sounds like
you're accusing a transgender woman
79
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,959
of lying about her desire
to acquire a clunge
80
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,799
just to get out of paying the rent,
81
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,959
which is definitely not
what's happening.
82
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,999
How are you gonna pay
for the surgery without a job?
83
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,959
Oh, I'll just get a job, shall I?
84
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:16,959
I'll just go get myself a job,
85
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,959
like that's the most normal thing
in the world.
86
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,959
Thomas, if someone wants to call up
and give me a job,
87
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,959
I'll take that job,
but that is never gonna happen.
88
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,959
HE SIGHS
Yeah.
89
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,960
Right, I'm off. How do I look?
90
00:04:28,881 --> 00:04:30,999
Like the Milky Bar Kid.
91
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,959
After a long,
drawn-out battle with...
92
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,010
DOOR CLOSES
93
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,010
..heroin.
94
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,640
SHE SIGHS
95
00:04:52,911 --> 00:04:54,959
KEY RATTLES IN DOOR
96
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,959
Oh, my God, I can't believe
you missed me so much.
97
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,959
PANTING: Liv, grab one
of my uniforms and get changed.
98
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,280
There's no time to explain.
99
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,479
Yes, there is.
Oh, for God's sake, fine.
100
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,959
You are now a proud member of the
Pellocks supermarket night shift.
101
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,959
And I...
102
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,280
Pause for dramatic effect.
103
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,800
..am your new supervisor.
104
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:24,799
CROWD: Trans people are people!
Trans people are people!
105
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,959
# La-la-la, la-la-la
106
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,959
# La-la-la, la-la-la-la-la
107
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,959
# La-la-la, la-la-la
108
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,959
# It sounds like cha-ching
When I walk in
109
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,959
# Boom, bam
Let my money do all of the
110
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,799
# Talking is cheap
111
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,959
# So think before you speak
Cos you can't even afford it
112
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,959
# All I ever need, all I ever want
113
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,959
# Fell asleep in the sky
Woke up in New York
114
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,959
# Wall Street kind of vibe
And they buy my stock
115
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,160
# Going up, going up, going up... #
116
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,959
Welcome to the night shift.
117
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,959
While the customer snores,
we sweep up the floors.
118
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,639
OK.
A little motto, isn't it?
119
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,959
Yeah, it's something.
A credo, a ditty.
120
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,959
I don't know what you wanna call it.
We wrote it.
121
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:10,959
It's fun, isn't it?
122
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:11,959
It's just a fun...
I have fun.
123
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,160
We have fun.
124
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,959
Welcome to the ship.
THEY LAUGH
125
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,959
Now, listen, going forward,
do you prefer Olivia or Liv?
126
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,959
I think I would prefer
to be at home,
127
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,480
pleasuring myself to a VHS
of the 1998 musical Cats.
128
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:35,959
Now, uh, Thomas tells me
that you are saving up for ge...
129
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,639
er, gender reassignment surgery.
130
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,960
Tell us something about that.
Am I?
131
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,959
I am, yep.
No, you're right, I am, er...
132
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,799
Can't wait. It's gonna be great.
133
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,960
OK. Now, tell me, I... I mean...
134
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,959
..you don't have to, but...
135
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,610
SCOTTISH ACCENT:
..is that the carrot or the tatties?
136
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,010
The thing.
137
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,959
# Ahh! #
138
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,959
Oh, great, there's a book (!)
Et voila, madame.
139
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,959
The Pellocks Employee Handbook.
140
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,959
65 sizzling pages
141
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,959
of safety guidelines
and interpersonal etiquette.
142
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,959
Strap in, it's a real page-turner.
143
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,999
I haven't got so lost in a book
since Harry Potter.
144
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,960
Have you read those?
145
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,959
Pay no mind to the noise outside.
146
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,959
Erm, there's been
a bit of a misunderstanding,
147
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,959
but, rest assured,
we here at Pellocks
148
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,959
are a fully inclusive workforce.
149
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,959
THUMP
Hitler!
150
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,959
We want trans rights!
Can you get that?
151
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,959
We want trans rights now!
Come out here, you pellock!
152
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,160
CROWD MEMBER: Fascist!
153
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,959
We want you to be as loud
and as proud as you like.
154
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:49,959
And to that end, perhaps you'd like
to put something up on your socials
155
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,959
about how proud you are
to be part of the Pellocks rainbow,
156
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:57,959
hashtag "we are Pellocks",
hashtag "competent management",
157
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:58,959
something like that.
158
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,959
And, of course,
if there's anything we can do
159
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:04,959
to make your time here at Pellocks
even more inclusive,
160
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,959
my door is always open to you,
and...
161
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,959
and that is because I've...
I lost my key.
162
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,959
Like, I don't wanna shut it cos I...
SOFTLY: ..I might not get back in.
163
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,959
I'm glad you mentioned inclusivity
there, Simon,
164
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,959
because, well,
I don't know about you, Millie,
165
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:19,959
but I, like you...
166
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,959
I like you, too!
OK.
167
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,479
I, like you, am a woman,
168
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,959
and as a woman, I noticed
a lot of phallic produce
169
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,959
on the way into the store
this evening.
170
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,959
Your bananas, your bratwursts,
your aubergines.
171
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,310
I mean, Simon, come on,
what are we doing here?
172
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,959
HE LAUGHS
I-I'm completely lost.
173
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,959
Well, you know,
as a trans-gentrified individual,
174
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,959
I was born with a penis
that I didn't ask for.
175
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,959
Do you really think a woman like me
176
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,959
wants to be reminded of that
all bloody night long?
177
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,959
No, I don't.
178
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,000
Hmm, OK, so...
HE CHUCKLES
179
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,959
..what I think you're saying is,
180
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,959
I should remove everything from
the store that looks like a penis?
181
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,010
Man's a genius.
182
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,960
Yes. Yes, I am, Miss Pussy.
MILLIE GIGGLES
183
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,959
Liv, as your supervisor,
184
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:13,959
I forbid you to quit
on the first night.
185
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,159
I simply forbid it.
186
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,959
Oh, stand back, everyone, he's got
a little plastic name badge.
187
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,319
Tom, why didn't you tell me
I was a prop?
188
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,639
The only reason
they're offering me this job
189
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,959
is cos they're obviously going
through some sort of PR shitstorm,
190
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,639
and Simon wants to wheel me out
like a prized transgender ham.
191
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,799
Look, just give it a chance, OK?
192
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,959
Sixty-five weeks from now,
when you've saved up for your GRS,
193
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,319
you can shove your shiny new vagina
in my face.
194
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,960
That... came out wrong.
195
00:09:37,961 --> 00:09:41,959
What you said to Simon
about the male-dominated workspace
196
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,959
was so inspiring.
197
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:44,959
I look up to you so much.
198
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,960
OK, probably gonna
leave that one alone.
199
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,959
Uh, Liv, this is Millie.
200
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,959
You two have already met, obviously.
Erm, Linda. Olivia.
201
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,959
So, you're a woman.
You should see me park a car.
202
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,639
Linda, Olivia is
just as hard-working,
203
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,999
responsible, and deserving
to be here as anyone else.
204
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,959
LIV CHUCKLES
No, I'm not.
205
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,959
I've already had my hours cut
this month,
206
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,959
and now I've got
to make room for you.
207
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,959
I'm sick of you lot shoving
your PC-ness down our throats.
208
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,959
Well, it's pronounced "penis",
but she's got a point, Thomas.
209
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,090
I mean, how much more bloody diverse
does this place wanna be?
210
00:10:18,401 --> 00:10:20,959
We look like the set-up to a joke
211
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,490
that would get you uninvited
to Christmas dinner.
212
00:10:23,911 --> 00:10:27,319
Sorry, ladies,
I just need to quickly go...
213
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,960
Liv, please,
I'm asking you as a friend.
214
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,959
Simon's my boss, and this is
an opportunity to impress him.
215
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,959
Plus, you said if you got
offered a job, you'd take it.
216
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:38,959
Please don't quit.
217
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,959
LIV EXHALES
Fine.
218
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,010
Thank you.
219
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,159
But I can't help if I get fired.
220
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,959
Wait, what?
W-W-Why would you get fired?
221
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,959
Spoken like a man
with zero imagination.
222
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,370
Liv, you won't get fired
if you follow the rules.
223
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,479
Olivia...
224
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,730
look me in the eye and promise me
you're going to follow the rules.
225
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,010
Let the games begin.
226
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,960
CROWD CHANTING
227
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,960
CHANTING CONTINUES
OUTSIDE
228
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,010
Ha!
229
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,479
Oh, for f...
230
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:32,959
"Rule one -
231
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,959
"employees are encouraged
to be proactive
232
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,960
"when it comes
to replenishing stock."
233
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:47,960
TOM SIGHS
234
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,799
Oh, for... Grr!
HE EXHALES
235
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,960
"Rule 21 - staff doors must
remain closed at all times."
236
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,959
SIGHS
237
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,960
GRUNTS,
WHIMPERS
238
00:12:05,961 --> 00:12:10,159
"If you see something obstructing
an aisle, remove it immediately."
239
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,480
Oh, would you look at that?
240
00:12:14,731 --> 00:12:18,959
A for effort, Liv,
but you're in my world now.
241
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,799
And I've got eyes
in the back of my head.
242
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,959
Oh! You are sucking all the fun
out of this game.
243
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,159
What game? At what point did I...?
244
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,960
Hold that thought.
245
00:12:32,771 --> 00:12:38,639
You weren't thinking about
throwing these all away, were you?
246
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,479
No, God, no. No, no, no.
247
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,959
What, er...? What would you suggest
we do with them?
248
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:43,959
Well, I mean...
249
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,959
it's not enough to simply throw
all the phalluses away, Simon.
250
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,959
You must publicly destroy them
in front of the naysayers,
251
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,959
prove to the world
how Pellocks feels
252
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,959
about transgender women.
253
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,159
To think I was gonna donate all this
254
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,959
to a homeless shelter like an idiot.
HE CHUCKLES
255
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,959
While I've got you, there are some
bath bombs in the toiletry section
256
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,799
that look an awful lot
like testicles.
257
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,799
I'm so sorry. Beefy, change of plan!
258
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:06,959
Come on.
259
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,130
SOFTLY: Will you make up
your bloody mind?
260
00:13:09,131 --> 00:13:12,959
You were saying? At what point
did I give you the impression
261
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,959
that your employment here
is a life-size game of Mouse Trap?
262
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,959
When you told me I couldn't
get fired if I followed the rules.
263
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,959
Excellent premise.
Challenge accepted.
264
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,959
Why are you so annoyed
by the situation?
265
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:23,959
Cos I didn't even want you here!
266
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,479
This is where I come
to escape your insanity.
267
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:27,959
But Pellocks needed
a transgender woman,
268
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,610
and, lo and behold,
there was one mooching on my sofa.
269
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:32,960
This is a job, Olivia.
270
00:13:52,911 --> 00:13:54,959
Oh, for fuck's sake.
271
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,959
CLAMOURING
Guys! Guy... People, please!
272
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,999
If you just watch the demonstration,
273
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,319
I wish to make Pellocks' position
274
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:07,959
on transgender women very clear.
275
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,959
Very clear.
276
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,160
CROWD HUSHES,
HE SNIFFS
277
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,960
Bah!
278
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,320
Huh?
279
00:14:21,571 --> 00:14:23,959
CLAMOURING
Trans rights!
280
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,639
Please! Stop. Stop.
281
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,640
Please, please, stop shouting.
282
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,960
Grr!
283
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,959
Peoples! Thems! I don't know!
284
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,959
I'm trying to be inclusive. Just...
285
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,010
OK.
286
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,010
A willy!
287
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:48,159
We want a say!
We want trans rights!
288
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,960
I don't know what you want!
I don't know...
289
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,479
Grr! Come on!
290
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,960
ALARM RINGS
291
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,959
Ah...
292
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:06,959
Fuck! Oof!
293
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,319
What? Oh, my God!
294
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,960
Beefy, deploy!
295
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,479
Oh, no.
296
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,999
EXPLOSION
297
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,960
ELECTRICAL BUZZING
298
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,010
Agh!
299
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,800
CHANTING CONTINUES
OUTSIDE
300
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,960
So, you...
you settling in all right?
301
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,010
Good.
302
00:15:43,011 --> 00:15:46,959
You know, that little stunt
you pulled with the fire alarm,
303
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,639
it's... it's a sackable offence.
304
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,959
I know, right?
It's like, "Knock, knock."
305
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,639
"Who's there?" "Being responsible."
306
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,959
"Not today, thanks very much."
307
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,959
Enough. Enough, all right? Erm...
308
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,799
HE EXHALES DEEPLY
309
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,959
I'm really sorry
to have to say this, but...
310
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,960
I'm afraid you're fired, Thomas.
311
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,959
Thomas? What?!
Yeah, what?!
312
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,959
Well, you are Liv's supervisor.
313
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,010
Simon, I...
314
00:16:14,911 --> 00:16:16,959
Fine.
315
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,959
Sit down, Thomas.
316
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:22,479
Simon, let me tell you
what I think's going on here.
317
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,959
You've got yourself a vag-load
318
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,639
of bloodthirsty trans rights
activists on your doorstep.
319
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,479
And no matter what I do,
320
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:32,959
the last thing you can do right now
is fire a transgender employee.
321
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,959
But here's the thing -
the only thing worse than firing me
322
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:37,959
would be if I quit.
323
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,959
Amidst, I don't know,
324
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,959
accusations of a discriminatory
work environment.
325
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,960
You wouldn't do that to me.
326
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,959
Tom stays, or I quit.
327
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,960
Loudly and proudly.
328
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,960
Whoa.
329
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:06,960
DOOR SLAMS
330
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,799
Liv, you in there?
Yes, Thomas.
331
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,959
Despite the objections
of the right-wing press,
332
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,959
I am, in fact,
in the ladies' bathroom.
333
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,160
HE CHUCKLES WEAKLY
Wow.
334
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,960
Look, er...
you didn't need to do that for me.
335
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,959
And, obviously, that is just
a saying - you definitely did.
336
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:34,959
Morally, ethically,
entirely your fault, but...
337
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,959
still, thanks.
338
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,959
Er...
339
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,639
And I understand if you want
to leave, I do, but I...
340
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,799
It's important for you to know
that I-I'd like...
341
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,959
I'd like for you to stay.
342
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,159
Thomas...
343
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,479
why would I leave?
344
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,959
This is the most fun I've had
in months.
345
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,959
Apparently,
I can do anything I like,
346
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:54,959
I'm never gonna get fired.
347
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:55,959
The buffet is amazing.
348
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,319
Again, not a buffet.
Those are products. Er...
349
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,959
I think you're probably
misunderstanding what I mean
350
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,530
by "stocktake".
Plus, you know...
351
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,960
..all my favourite people are here,
so...
352
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,959
Yeah.
353
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,959
MILLIE OVER PA: 'The protesters
are breaching the building.
354
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:19,480
'I repeat, the protesters
are breaching the building!'
355
00:18:19,481 --> 00:18:21,959
Do you wanna...?
Sort it out?
356
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:22,959
Yeah.
Yeah, all right, fine.
357
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:23,999
Yeah. Cool.
358
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,320
S-Sorted.
CHUCKLES WEAKLY
359
00:18:27,911 --> 00:18:29,999
I'll stay here.
360
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,959
And linger in the women's...
361
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,959
I probably shouldn't linger
in the women's toilet. I'll...
362
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,959
CLAMOURING
Hold fast!
363
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,959
To me, my X-Men!
364
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,960
CREAKING
365
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,010
BEEFY: Not today!
366
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,959
Our turn, Beefy!
Get back!
367
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,959
Simon!
Please, be reasonable!
368
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:53,959
I fully support
the transgender community.
369
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,959
Sometimes I even pop a bit
of chamomile into my own bath.
370
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,959
It's true, I've seen him do it.
What? What are...? What?
371
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,799
WHISTLING
372
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,960
SHUSHING
373
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,639
FEEDBACK WHINES
374
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,999
When I told my dad
I was becoming a woman,
375
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,959
he looked me up and down,
376
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,010
and he said
that I could never pull it off.
377
00:19:17,131 --> 00:19:22,479
I said, "I'd probably get a doctor
to do that bit, Father.
378
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,960
"I imagine it's quite
a complicated procedure."
379
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,960
Everybody's got opinions.
380
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,960
But opinions are like arseholes.
381
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,960
Worth exploring.
382
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,999
Pellocks may have shat the bed,
383
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,960
but it's time we cleaned up
our mess.
384
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,319
I made a change,
385
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,960
and if you'll give us a chance,
Pellocks can change, too...
386
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,160
..for the better.
387
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,960
CHEERING
388
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,959
Our new transgender employee,
Olivia, everyone.
389
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:18,959
I'd say give her a big hand,
390
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,250
but I think she's already got two,
am I right?
391
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,959
LAUGHS WEAKLY
Just clap, clap.
392
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,959
Clap, please.
FEEDBACK WHINES
393
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,959
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
394
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,959
# Hallelujah!
395
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,959
# Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
396
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,959
# Hallelujah... #
397
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,959
And starting tonight,
we're launching
398
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,639
our very own in-store fundraiser
399
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,959
to help pay for Olivia's
gender reassignment surgery.
400
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:46,959
Come again?
401
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,639
So join us in saying goodbye
to her unwanted penis,
402
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,959
and hello
to a brighter future together.
403
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:55,959
Woohoo!
404
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,960
What the fuck is that?
405
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,010
Oh, shit.
406
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,160
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407
00:21:27,210 --> 00:21:31,760
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