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1
00:00:00,820 --> 00:00:06,740
[whistling]
[eerie music]
2
00:00:06,830 --> 00:00:08,400
♪ ♪
3
00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:10,160
Never understood
why people need songs
4
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,000
with multiple notes.
One is plenty.
5
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,840
[continues whistling]
6
00:00:14,930 --> 00:00:18,930
Lieutenant Kang?
I have something for you.
7
00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,010
[lightning crashes]
8
00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:21,330
[groaning]
9
00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:24,090
So when you said
you had something for me...
10
00:00:24,180 --> 00:00:25,420
Oh, it was just the knife.
11
00:00:25,510 --> 00:00:26,870
I don't have
anything else for you.
12
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,110
Yep, nope,
that's what I thought.
13
00:00:29,260 --> 00:00:31,109
[groaning]
14
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:32,260
[groans softly]
15
00:00:32,350 --> 00:00:37,020
♪ ♪
16
00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:42,204
[lightning crashes] Oh my god!
Call the police, he killed that man!
17
00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:45,370
[footsteps approaching rapidly]
18
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,539
Sorry, just gonna take my knife.
My grandpa gave it to me.
19
00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:51,800
And it has my fingerprints
all over it.
20
00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:55,120
[whistling]
21
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,970
God, that is catchy.
22
00:00:57,050 --> 00:01:00,029
[exciting music]
23
00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:06,770
♪
24
00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:21,750
Our investigations
turned up Jane squat.
25
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:24,164
Maybe it was a random
killing or maybe he knew too
26
00:01:24,165 --> 00:01:26,499
much about why Anya
Taylor-Joy was sent to Earth.
27
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:27,930
Either way, Kang's dead.
28
00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:32,100
So I brought in Grimsburg's
best and only grief counselor.
29
00:01:32,150 --> 00:01:33,840
Okay. Uh, hey.
30
00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:36,010
Okay, gotta go fast.
After this I've got
31
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,939
a stabbing, two bludgeonings,
and a poisoned empanada.
32
00:01:38,940 --> 00:01:43,019
So let's start by sharing
some memories of, um...
33
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,110
[humming]
34
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,200
- Lieutenant Kang. Go.
- Well, I'll always remember
35
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,110
that puffer jacket he used to wear.
36
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,220
- Mm-hmm.
- Me too.
37
00:01:50,230 --> 00:01:51,120
- So puffy.
- Great.
38
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:54,710
- What else? Speak now.
- He also had glasses... I think.
39
00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:57,029
Kang didn't really
share his life with us...
40
00:01:57,030 --> 00:01:59,720
- or his fries.
- I know I kept it really hidden,
41
00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:01,309
but I kind of had
a crush on him.
42
00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:02,719
BOTH: Yeah, we know.
43
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,889
Guess you'll have
to like someone else now.
44
00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:07,710
Perhaps one of the two guys
in the office still breathing?
45
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,730
Flute, you haven't said anything.
Kang was your mentor.
46
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:14,160
Oh, yeah, well, Kang's death
is obviously a huge loss.
47
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:17,330
But I've already processed
my grief, and I'm doing great.
48
00:02:17,550 --> 00:02:19,150
Sorry, you're gonna need
a new printer.
49
00:02:19,174 --> 00:02:22,570
- This one's dead.
- [sobbing] No!
50
00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:25,670
It had so much more
left to print!
51
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,749
Now it's just dead,
like I'm gonna die.
52
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,820
I'm already 44,
which is halfway to 88,
53
00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:33,510
which is the number
of keys on a piano,
54
00:02:33,534 --> 00:02:36,089
which is playing my death march.
55
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:38,410
[sobs]
56
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:40,420
Huh?
Maybe I haven't processed it.
57
00:02:40,590 --> 00:02:42,579
[mysterious music]
58
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:45,579
I can't believe Kang's gone.
Boo-hoo, very sad.
59
00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:48,510
Anyway, Chief who can
promote me, great to see you.
60
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:50,170
Forehead's looking enormous.
61
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:54,250
- [chuckling] Oh, thank you, Martinez.
- Hey, you know what's weird?
62
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:56,609
This department's
never had a Latinant.
63
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,519
That's a Latina lieutenant.
64
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:02,350
Unrelated, have you thought about
appointing someone to replace Kang?
65
00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,689
Hmm.
Haven't really thought about it
66
00:03:04,690 --> 00:03:07,430
'cause I've been too busy doing it!
67
00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:10,360
Meet Lieutenant Ravi Kumar.
68
00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:13,940
Please, Lieutenant Kumar is my
father... if he were a lieutenant
69
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,870
instead of a sustainable
bikini salesman.
70
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,390
Let's keep it cazh
and call me Lieutenant Ravi.
71
00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:21,059
No way.
We can use your first name?
72
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:23,390
Uh, hierarchy?
Bye-erarchy!
73
00:03:23,540 --> 00:03:26,560
Lieutenant Ravi bikes
to work, loves Gucci Mane,
74
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,650
and did improv in Amsterdam
for a year.
75
00:03:30,550 --> 00:03:32,460
Sorry, did you say something?
76
00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:34,480
It gets pretty loud working
on spaceship engines.
77
00:03:34,570 --> 00:03:36,299
But that's Mars for ya.
78
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,470
- Hold this torque wrench.
- There's nothing there!
79
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,319
Hey, Lieutenant Ravi,
can we work outside today?
80
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:45,750
- Sure, I'm down with that.
- All right! I love this guy.
81
00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:49,309
Detectives always
work outside, ya doof!
82
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,589
Ah, Kang's apartment.
Time to get me some closure.
83
00:03:54,590 --> 00:03:56,239
I bet he used this chair
for sitting.
84
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,420
And that fridge is probably
where he stored food
85
00:03:58,421 --> 00:04:00,910
so it wouldn't go bad.
And this closet...
86
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,930
[chuckles]
You know this son of a bitch
87
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,509
could tell some stories.
88
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:05,659
[bones crack]
[grunts]
89
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:07,090
My back.
This is it.
90
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,000
Death time.
End of the line.
91
00:04:09,090 --> 00:04:11,090
I'm coming to meet you, Kang.
Or maybe you're in hell.
92
00:04:11,170 --> 00:04:12,499
I did see you get a refill
from the fountain
93
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,759
at Chipotle when the sign
clearly said "no refills."
94
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,760
And when I pointed it out,
you said it only applied
95
00:04:16,784 --> 00:04:19,009
to soda, not iced tea,
but come on.
96
00:04:19,010 --> 00:04:22,270
- Iced tea's different.
- [gasps]
97
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,240
No carbonation.
98
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,380
And Lieutenant Ravi already
gave us nicknames.
99
00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:30,459
He calls me Robot Pattinson.
100
00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:31,860
[chuckles]
I'm technically a cyborg,
101
00:04:31,884 --> 00:04:35,409
- but, uh, I'm gonna let that slide.
- He's a jerk.
102
00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:39,560
- We gotta take him down!
- He's nice. And I should know.
103
00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:41,639
People say I'm the nicest guy
in the office.
104
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,080
[loudly] Who wants donuts?
105
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,730
And 'Nones,
I know you've been feeling
106
00:04:45,810 --> 00:04:48,500
pretty bummed about Kang,
so I also picked you up a copy
107
00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:50,660
of "Cysts With Hair and Teeth"
magazine.
108
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,429
Oh! The "30 Cysts under 30
to Watch Out for
109
00:04:53,430 --> 00:04:54,590
Because They Could Be
Indicative of Something
110
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,670
Far More Serious" issue?
[gasps] Thanks.
111
00:04:57,770 --> 00:05:00,340
Nicest guy in the office,
no question.
112
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:03,580
That guy needs to go down...
113
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,660
after I grab a Boston cream.
114
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:07,849
[suspenseful music]
115
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,670
I know you're not real!
You're a ghost,
116
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,150
as prophesied by the idea I had
for a book called
117
00:05:12,151 --> 00:05:14,500
"Ghost Detective,"
alternate title, "Lieutenant Spooky."
118
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,190
I'm assuming the publisher will
want to weigh in.
119
00:05:16,270 --> 00:05:18,600
Flute, put the chair down.
There's an explanation.
120
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,509
And it's nowhere near
as preposterous
121
00:05:20,510 --> 00:05:23,360
- as you writing a book.
- I already got it all up here.
122
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:24,760
Just need to write
the words down.
123
00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:26,110
Flute, listen to me.
124
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:28,349
- I'm immortal.
- What?
125
00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:31,190
Wait, sorry, did you say
"a mortal" or "immortal"?
126
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,360
- Immortal.
- Yeah, I guess the other one's
127
00:05:33,361 --> 00:05:34,620
really not that newsworthy.
128
00:05:34,690 --> 00:05:36,529
This is incredible.
You really can't die?
129
00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:38,699
Exactly.
See, many years ago
130
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,470
I stumbled upon
a magical brook, and I...
131
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:41,869
whoa... hey!
[car horn blares]
132
00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:44,050
[people screaming, tires screeching]
133
00:05:44,140 --> 00:05:45,540
Wow, immortality.
134
00:05:45,550 --> 00:05:47,070
This is the coolest thing
I've heard of
135
00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:49,460
since I learned
Harry Styles has four nipples.
136
00:05:49,470 --> 00:05:52,300
Please don't do that.
Dying still hurts.
137
00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:53,650
And the jacket's not immortal.
138
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,820
My immortality comes
from a mystical potion I drank.
139
00:05:56,970 --> 00:05:58,570
It was in the amulet
the killer stole from me.
140
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,481
Well, I don't blame him
for trying to cheat death.
141
00:06:00,516 --> 00:06:02,056
All I can think about
lately is dying.
142
00:06:02,091 --> 00:06:05,250
And how good John Boyega
would be in a rom-com.
143
00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:09,920
Now, luckily, I have this.
[mystical music]
144
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,490
- What have you done?
- I'm immortal.
145
00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:14,859
Now I don't have to be
worried about dying.
146
00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:16,180
I can worry about other things,
147
00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:18,220
like whether Boyega's people
are really thinking
148
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:20,270
about his career as a whole
or just job-to-job.
149
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,520
I wasn't finished. This blue
potion makes you younger,
150
00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,780
but the pink one he stole
makes you older.
151
00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:28,519
You need both to lock into
your forever age,
152
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:32,799
- and then you're immortal.
- So I'm gonna get younger?
153
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,470
- Well, yes, but without the other one...
- Whoo! Yes!
154
00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:38,150
Did you see how high
that roundhouse was?
155
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,550
It's working.
I'm Benji-Buttoning, baby!
156
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,480
Please stop that, it's annoying!
157
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,100
[people screaming, tires screeching]
158
00:06:44,124 --> 00:06:45,455
[chuckles] Ooh!
159
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:47,980
When he climbs back up,
I'm gonna shoot him.
160
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,400
This is incredible.
My hairline has magically returned.
161
00:06:52,490 --> 00:06:54,490
I feel like LeBron James,
Jeremy Piven, Elon Musk,
162
00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:56,920
Matthew McConaughey,
Jude Law, Billy Bob Thornton,
163
00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,919
Elton John, Bradley Cooper,
Joel McHale...
164
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,160
Flute! There is not
enough time in the world
165
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,070
to list every celebrity
who is lying to us
166
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,770
about the natural fullness
of their hair.
167
00:07:04,910 --> 00:07:06,240
- Will Arnett.
- [sighs]
168
00:07:06,340 --> 00:07:08,579
We need to find a clue that can
help us solve my murder.
169
00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:10,420
Yeah, and we gotta get
the other potion back.
170
00:07:10,444 --> 00:07:12,884
Oh, man, being immortal
is gonna be so cool.
171
00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:14,530
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
172
00:07:14,554 --> 00:07:16,349
You can't really get
too close to people
173
00:07:16,350 --> 00:07:17,700
because you're gonna lose 'em.
174
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,440
But you don't have to wear
sunscreen, so mixed bag.
175
00:07:20,610 --> 00:07:22,210
I wouldn't mind
locking in at this age.
176
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:23,700
I feel like I could do anything.
177
00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:25,060
Maybe I could even
touch my toes.
178
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,599
Should I even try?
Okay, I'm gonna try.
179
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:28,880
I'm so nervous.
180
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,210
Ha! I did it!
181
00:07:30,290 --> 00:07:33,200
And without any cracks,
grunts, or blood clots.
182
00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:35,620
Wow, these are not the shoes
I thought I had on.
183
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,279
Huh. Jacaranda petal.
184
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,050
And there's only one jacaranda
tree in Grimsburg. Let's go!
185
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,209
- Elon really had a hair transplant?
- Oh, yeah, it's super obvious.
186
00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:46,709
Just search, quote, "Did
Elon Musk get a hair transplant
187
00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:47,990
"while allegedly having an affair
188
00:07:48,014 --> 00:07:50,050
"with Sergey Brin's wife
at the same time he was
189
00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:53,629
having twins with one of his
top executives?" end quote.
190
00:07:53,730 --> 00:07:55,320
[mysterious music]
191
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,500
Okay, so you know
how you said we need a plan
192
00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:59,060
to take care of Lieutenant Ravi?
193
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,510
Well, I've planted
a prank device on his chair
194
00:08:01,580 --> 00:08:04,069
such that when he sits,
a sound will be emitted
195
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:06,160
that people might believe
came from his body,
196
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,010
specifically the bottom part.
197
00:08:08,090 --> 00:08:09,730
Are you talking about
a whoopee cushion?
198
00:08:09,754 --> 00:08:11,579
He'll be forced
to resign in disgrace!
199
00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:14,000
Forget it.
I'll bring him down myself.
200
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:15,410
Wonder if I still have the number
201
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:18,860
- of my orgy-photoshop guy.
- Hey, gang, cop a squat.
202
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:20,749
I want to go over some procedures.
203
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,089
I know, snooze-ville, right?
204
00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:25,089
[whoopee cushion farts]
205
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,089
Um...
[laughs nervously]
206
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:30,040
Um, okay.
That was weird.
207
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,520
So as far as the procedures...
208
00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:34,520
by... by the way, I honestly
don't know what that sound was.
209
00:08:34,620 --> 00:08:36,690
I mean, I know what
it sounded like, but...
210
00:08:36,770 --> 00:08:38,770
wait, I... I didn't mean to say
it sounded like butt.
211
00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:40,234
It shouldn't have come out like that.
212
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,030
I mean, what I said shouldn't
have come out like that,
213
00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:43,630
not the noise
that came from my butt...
214
00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:45,150
I mean, that shouldn't
come from my...
215
00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:46,174
gah!
216
00:08:47,890 --> 00:08:53,130
♪
217
00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:55,470
Thanks for leading us right
to the killer's lair, tree.
218
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,210
Almost makes me sorry
I peed on you.
219
00:08:57,290 --> 00:09:00,290
Look, they've tracked me
for generations.
220
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:04,390
♪ ♪
221
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,570
Wow, you've lived
through so much history.
222
00:09:06,650 --> 00:09:08,890
Was soda pretty awesome before
they took out the cocaine?
223
00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:10,948
What about when you saw
your first car?
224
00:09:10,962 --> 00:09:12,684
Were you just like,
thank God, now we can finally
225
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,559
arrive somewhere
not smelling like horse?
226
00:09:14,594 --> 00:09:18,080
- Yes. We all reeked for many years.
- Hang on.
227
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:19,740
Check out the smoke show.
228
00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:21,190
I remember when
I looked this good.
229
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,740
Back in my late 20s,
when my belly button was cute
230
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:24,915
and not big enough to mix
231
00:09:24,916 --> 00:09:27,670
- a tableside Caesar salad in.
- Flute, look at this log.
232
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:31,490
The entries are signed
J, T, and S Vandersloop.
233
00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:34,080
Ah, yes. I believe
Vandersloop is Dutch for
234
00:09:34,180 --> 00:09:35,439
"one who sloops."
235
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,010
I knew a Vandersloop
back in the 1840s.
236
00:09:38,090 --> 00:09:39,770
He must have noticed
I wasn't getting older
237
00:09:39,940 --> 00:09:41,170
and passed it on to his kids.
238
00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:43,020
That's the problem
with being immortal.
239
00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:45,929
You can only stick around so long
before people start to catch on.
240
00:09:45,930 --> 00:09:47,339
Right, gotta keep moving.
241
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,509
Okay, so I guess
the two of us could be, like,
242
00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:52,270
an immortal detective team
that goes town to town.
243
00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,950
We could call ourselves
"The Never-Die-tectives"...
244
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,610
Or something better.
We have literally
245
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:58,120
an infinite amount of time
to pitch on it.
246
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:02,043
Guess it might be nice having another
immortal around. It can get lonely.
247
00:10:02,078 --> 00:10:03,840
Plus, it'd be good to have
someone watch my computer
248
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,984
when I hit the bathroom
at Starbucks.
249
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,190
Stop!
Hand over that potion!
250
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,469
[exciting music]
251
00:10:12,470 --> 00:10:15,289
♪
252
00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:17,290
You know, it's hard
to get motivated for a chase,
253
00:10:17,314 --> 00:10:19,200
but once you're doing it,
it feels so good.
254
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:21,460
I'm totally gonna get
back into chasing people.
255
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:28,450
♪ ♪
256
00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:31,400
Jackie Joyner-Kersee!
257
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,080
I thought being
in my late 20s was great,
258
00:10:33,104 --> 00:10:35,810
but 21 is even better!
I'm not out of breath at all.
259
00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:38,952
I'm young, dumb,
and full of lung.
260
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,480
Flute!
Where are you going?
261
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,490
This bar, it has alcohol!
I'm gonna drink it
262
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,489
'cause I'm 21
and I follow my impulses.
263
00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:47,229
But you need
to drink the potion!
264
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,839
Don't you want to be 21 forever?
265
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,820
Oh, yeah! That reminds
me. We should also go
266
00:10:50,821 --> 00:10:52,800
to Forever 21, 'cause I
want to get a trendy outfit
267
00:10:52,824 --> 00:10:55,286
I can wear once
and throw in the trash.
268
00:10:57,330 --> 00:11:00,320
Yeah, he seems a little rattled,
but he's not gonna quit his job
269
00:11:00,344 --> 00:11:03,760
- over one tiny little butt-burst.
- Oh, really?
270
00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:06,530
- Tanya, please, don't leave me.
- I thought I could trust you.
271
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,940
You said you were taking
your anti-gas medicine,
272
00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:10,610
but now the whole town
is talking about
273
00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:12,089
how you beefed at work!
274
00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:13,929
I see the looks they give me
in the streets.
275
00:11:13,930 --> 00:11:16,280
"There she goes,
the wife of a cheese-cutter."
276
00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:18,609
That's not the life I signed up for.
277
00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:21,947
I'm leaving you, Ravi,
and I'm taking the kids.
278
00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:24,027
[tires squeal]
279
00:11:26,110 --> 00:11:28,530
Yikes.
Guess your little fart was
280
00:11:28,531 --> 00:11:29,700
deadlier then I thought.
281
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:30,870
[glass shatters]
282
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,040
I have nothing!
283
00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:35,109
[choked up] I don't
know who I am anymore!
284
00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:37,040
I don't even know
when I'm farting,
285
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,949
so I have to break
all of these windows
286
00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:43,176
- to air this place out!
- That's enough! You're fired!
287
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:46,120
Looks like I'm the nicest guy
in the office again.
288
00:11:46,130 --> 00:11:48,980
[laughs diabolically]
289
00:11:49,050 --> 00:11:50,890
Ooh, maybe we should
have a party...
290
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,570
a pizza party.
291
00:11:52,650 --> 00:11:55,150
[laughs diabolically]
292
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,984
Dear God,
What hath I wrought?
293
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,900
All right, that's how we do it
294
00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:03,920
here at Jed's
Country & Westwing Bar.
295
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:05,339
Now it's time for
296
00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:08,810
the Congressional
Oversight Committee Tush Push!
297
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:12,477
- Flute, we need to go.
- Oh, come on,
298
00:12:12,512 --> 00:12:13,440
I just want
to down a MartinSheen-i
299
00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:15,179
and ride the mechanical
Toby Ziegler.
300
00:12:15,180 --> 00:12:17,659
[hydraulics whirring]
301
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:20,220
- ID?
- Me? I'm being carded?
302
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:22,490
Oh, my God, I could kiss you
right now... and might.
303
00:12:22,514 --> 00:12:25,950
- I'm in my experimental phase.
- You're 44?
304
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,770
Yeah, right. Plus, you
overdid it with the photoshop.
305
00:12:28,794 --> 00:12:32,289
- No human being looks this gross.
- I'd just eaten a trick jelly bean.
306
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:35,280
Now give me the drink, Seaborn.
307
00:12:36,810 --> 00:12:39,409
You're gonna sit there for
a couple hours and settle down.
308
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:42,130
Sir, please, in a couple
hours it'll be too late.
309
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:44,579
Or would it be too early?
310
00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,469
No, I'm going backwards,
time's going forward.
311
00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:48,160
You had it right.
Ignore me.
312
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,910
I'm in college now
and likely on shrooms,
313
00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:51,150
which would explain all this.
314
00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:54,090
[dramatic music]
315
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:59,169
♪
316
00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:01,550
[hydraulics whirring]
317
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,480
[people screaming]
318
00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:14,010
I'd say thank you, but I'm
an entitled 21-year-old,
319
00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:15,730
so get out of my way, Boomer.
320
00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:19,950
I just got the strongest urge to
go see "Men in Black" right now.
321
00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:22,760
You're getting too young
for this crap.
322
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,340
[exciting music]
323
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,700
I hope Vandersloop's still in here.
324
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,570
Freeze, you...
extremely old dead man?
325
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,765
Huh, he must have tried the
pink potion, but since he
326
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,151
didn't have the blue one
yet, he aged himself to death.
327
00:13:36,186 --> 00:13:38,070
Well, the important thing is
he must have the potion on him,
328
00:13:38,094 --> 00:13:41,894
so I can take a sip
and get dat immortality, son!
329
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,560
No, no, no!
330
00:13:43,660 --> 00:13:47,400
He must have fallen
on it when he... died.
331
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:49,900
[kid voice]
So is that gonna happen to me,
332
00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:52,240
- but, like, in reverse?
- Don't be scared.
333
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:54,330
We don't know for sure
what will happen.
334
00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:56,409
[sighs]
Pretty soon I'm gonna be
335
00:13:56,410 --> 00:14:00,580
like Nirvana's best album,
"Unplugged."
336
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,929
They were a huge band
when I was this age.
337
00:14:02,930 --> 00:14:05,420
- Look, let's not panic...
- My pubes are gone!
338
00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:07,180
Can I buy some of yours
to glue on?
339
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:10,425
I-I'll totally pay you
when I get my allowance.
340
00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:14,120
[groans] This sucks.
341
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,060
Of course it happened to me.
Everything happens to me.
342
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,579
Are you sure you're allowed
to ride in the front seat?
343
00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:22,659
Ooh, ooh, pull over.
I want to get a sour blue slush
344
00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:23,860
and pour a box of Nerds in it.
345
00:14:23,884 --> 00:14:27,330
- You've already had a lot of sweets.
- Forget it. what's the point?
346
00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:28,850
I'm probably gonna die anyway...
347
00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:32,590
or... or be unborn.
Y-you know what I mean, jeez!
348
00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:34,909
I thought younger was
supposed to be better.
349
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:36,500
This is worse than being 44.
350
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,010
Ugh. Just take me
to Harmony's house.
351
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,340
Don't you think you might be
a little young for...
352
00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:41,986
- Just take me there, jeez!
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
353
00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:44,074
- I'm going, I'm going. Look.
- Can I get one thing
354
00:14:44,109 --> 00:14:45,720
- I ask for in my life...
- I'm turning around.
355
00:14:45,755 --> 00:14:46,815
Or is that too much?
356
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,610
[mysterious music]
357
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:52,020
Okay, now that you taught me
to ruthlessly pursue
358
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,429
what I want with no regard
for how it might hurt others...
359
00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:56,985
- I did not teach you that!
- My new plan is to trick
360
00:14:56,986 --> 00:14:59,008
Wynona into dating me by embarrassing
361
00:14:59,009 --> 00:15:01,030
her so much she'll
have no other options.
362
00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:03,700
And I'll do that with the help
of a prank device
363
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,460
that I've placed on her chair.
364
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,460
Oh, come on,
another whoopee cushion?
365
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,460
No, the same one.
They're reusable!
366
00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:11,220
That's it.
Come with me.
367
00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:14,470
- I think you need to see something.
- Okay, but if it's "Encanto,"
368
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:17,452
I've already seen it 112 times.
369
00:15:17,487 --> 00:15:19,340
♪ ♪
370
00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:20,880
[door creaks]
Hey there, Champ.
371
00:15:20,980 --> 00:15:23,480
I thought you told your mom
to stop setting you up
372
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,459
on playdates
with other weird kids.
373
00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:27,650
This one looks worse
than the Nerf-eater.
374
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,240
- Dad?
- How did you...
375
00:15:29,410 --> 00:15:32,990
[chuckles] I'd recognize that
look of disappointment anywhere.
376
00:15:33,150 --> 00:15:36,489
[sighs] I'm only disappointed
because I messed up.
377
00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:37,580
I came to hang out with you
378
00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:39,980
because I tried
to become immortal and...
379
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,980
Wait!
You want to hang out with me?
380
00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:46,420
- Okay!
- Stan? You have a friend?
381
00:15:46,430 --> 00:15:48,090
Oh, my God, I can't wait
to tell your dad
382
00:15:48,170 --> 00:15:49,722
so he can pay up.
383
00:15:50,430 --> 00:15:52,840
On an unrelated bet
that we made,
384
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,635
n-n-not about
you making friends.
385
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:58,060
[doorbell rings]
386
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,269
Robot Pattinson, 'Teenz.
387
00:16:01,270 --> 00:16:04,110
Come on in.
Sorry, I'd offer you a seat,
388
00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:05,669
but my wife took them all.
389
00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:06,910
She said she wanted to get them
390
00:16:06,934 --> 00:16:08,839
as far away from my butt
as possible.
391
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,670
- Hey, we gonna to do this?
- Yeah, just a minute.
392
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,010
I'm selling him
my grandfather's watch
393
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:14,790
to pay the bills,
and then for an extra 50,
394
00:16:15,010 --> 00:16:17,090
I'm gonna dress like his boss
and let him beat me up.
395
00:16:17,114 --> 00:16:18,286
Now do you see what your
396
00:16:18,287 --> 00:16:20,770
- trick toot turned you into?
- You're right.
397
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,630
I may be the nicest guy
in the office again,
398
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:25,460
but I had to become
the meanest to get there.
399
00:16:25,470 --> 00:16:28,450
I'm as fake as the whoopee
cushion I put in his seat.
400
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:30,380
I-I'm... I'm sorry,
are you saying
401
00:16:30,530 --> 00:16:33,230
that was just a whoopee cushion?
402
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:35,820
Wow. Um, fun fact,
I don't know if you heard,
403
00:16:35,821 --> 00:16:38,460
but that little prank
made my wife and kids leave me.
404
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:42,150
- Yeah, we saw the whole thing.
- Oh. You saw it happening,
405
00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:44,000
but you... wow.
406
00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:46,930
So all of this,
my ruined life, my firing,
407
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:48,990
the guy waiting in there
to hit me in the sack
408
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,670
with a golf club while wearing
my dead grandfather's watch,
409
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:55,439
is because of you two?
Hm.
410
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,659
[grunts]
411
00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:59,264
- Good prank.
- Thanks for forgiving me,
412
00:16:59,265 --> 00:17:02,330
former Lieutenant Ravi.
You really are a nice guy.
413
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,470
Well, we should get out of here
and let you get back
414
00:17:04,494 --> 00:17:05,734
to whatever's left of your life.
415
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,780
You have... well, I
was gonna say have fun,
416
00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:11,160
but I don't think that's
what he's paying for.
417
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,790
Tell me I need to work weekends.
418
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:16,020
♪ ♪
419
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:18,140
I can't believe I won't be around
420
00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:20,230
to find out how messed up
you turn out.
421
00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:22,420
But you gotta figure
something out, Dad.
422
00:17:22,490 --> 00:17:24,080
What about your Crime Mind?
423
00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:25,830
Well, I don't know how it'll go
424
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:27,830
with this tiny,
primitive child half-brain.
425
00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:29,830
No offense.
It's just science.
426
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,650
But it's worth a try.
427
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:32,830
[rock music]
428
00:17:32,910 --> 00:17:34,240
Crime had better look out,
429
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,670
because Detective Marvin Flute
is here.
430
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:41,829
I can solve anything,
except my life.
431
00:17:41,830 --> 00:17:44,159
Flute, we have
to find the potion.
432
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,830
I'm coming.
Keep your signature jacket on.
433
00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:51,280
Watch him face off
against the evil Vandersloop.
434
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,520
The potion is mine.
435
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,430
And I'll get the other potion
too so I'll be immortal!
436
00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:58,080
No, you're supposed to say,
"I'm never giving you the potion."
437
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:00,350
And then you drink it
and get old and die.
438
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,180
But I wouldn't do that.
I know how these potions work.
439
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:07,489
- I've been studying it my whole life.
- But that's what you did.
440
00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:08,490
♪
441
00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:11,088
Or did I?
442
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:13,710
Gotta tell...
[baby voice] Kang!
443
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,700
The body was a fake!
Vandersloop's still alive!
444
00:18:17,710 --> 00:18:18,880
[indistinct muffled speech]
445
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:23,990
Well, aren't you a clever little
detective with chipmunk cheeks?
446
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,810
Yes, I dug up a corpse
to make it look
447
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,800
like I'd aged myself to death
448
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,600
so that Kang would let
his guard down enough
449
00:18:29,710 --> 00:18:31,560
for me to track him down
and get this.
450
00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:34,879
Oh, and surprise, I still have this.
451
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,140
I transferred it before I put
452
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,070
the broken amulet
under the dead guy.
453
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:40,900
So now I can finally prove
my ancestors were right
454
00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:43,150
about you and become immortal.
455
00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:46,880
And you'll be too busy
being unborn to stop me.
456
00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:52,560
But... but I...
I don't want to die!
457
00:18:52,570 --> 00:18:55,160
Uh, shh, shh.
All right, d-don't cry.
458
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,900
- Yoink.
- Hey!
459
00:18:57,910 --> 00:19:01,260
[suspenseful music]
460
00:19:01,330 --> 00:19:03,170
♪ ♪
461
00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:04,260
[grunts]
462
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,839
[indistinct muffled speech]
463
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,190
What are you waiting for?
Drink the potion.
464
00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:11,670
You'll be stuck at four,
but if you don't take it,
465
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,690
we don't know what'll happen.
466
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,590
What?
Are you having an oopsy?
467
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,680
Ah, I'm not drinking it.
468
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,589
I thought
my problem was my age,
469
00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:21,850
but there's bad stuff
about every age.
470
00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:25,110
Y-you just have to go with
whatever age you're supposed to be.
471
00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:27,370
And never getting close
to anyone again
472
00:19:27,380 --> 00:19:30,770
- sounds pretty stinky.
- Yes, it is stinky.
473
00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:33,029
But for some reason,
I got close to you.
474
00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:34,940
So now you can't leave me alone.
475
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,940
Come on, immortal
detective buddies, remember?
476
00:19:37,950 --> 00:19:40,870
- Open up for the choo-choo.
- Shh.
477
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,560
Oh, let's just enjoy the
few minutes we have... goo.
478
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,709
Uh, um, I mean... gaa.
479
00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:49,400
Uh, uh-oh.
480
00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:50,710
[babbling]
481
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,070
[giggling]
482
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:56,900
♪ ♪
483
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,240
Goodbye, Flute.
484
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,650
If I had to get close
to one person this century...
485
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:03,639
[babbling]
486
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,319
I'm glad it was you.
487
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,000
♪ ♪
488
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,920
Pfft. You're crying?
Jeez, now who's the baby?
489
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:15,740
Huh, the immortality in
my tears must have reversed...
490
00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:17,740
Who care why?
My pubes are back!
491
00:20:17,830 --> 00:20:19,740
Oh, I missed you guys,
even you white ones.
492
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,990
- Glad you're okay, but...
- What are we even doing?
493
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:22,260
- Are you trying to tickle me?
- Can you please... no.
494
00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:23,580
- I'm not four anymore.
- You're just a little heavy...
495
00:20:23,670 --> 00:20:24,846
- All right, I'll...
- Flu...
496
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,430
- I can explain.
- I don't even care.
497
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,100
Stan made a friend!
Dollar.
498
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:35,010
It helped talking
to Lieutenant Ravi.
499
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:38,439
Now I can go after Kang's job
and hold my hair high,
500
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,020
knowing I did the right thing.
501
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,429
And I'm gonna win over
Wynona with my charm
502
00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:43,779
instead of gaslighting her.
503
00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:46,950
Hey, gaslighting, like a fart.
504
00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:49,710
[chuckles] Maybe I'll charm her
with jokes like that.
505
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:51,710
[both scream]
Kill the zombie!
506
00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:54,960
No, no, no, it's okay.
Turns out Kang is immortal.
507
00:20:55,030 --> 00:20:56,530
Just like Keanu Reeves.
[chuckles]
508
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:57,719
I'll forward you the links.
509
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,710
- I'm so glad you're back.
- Me too mostly.
510
00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:03,630
So, immortal.
511
00:21:03,710 --> 00:21:05,470
That explains why
you've never let anyone,
512
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,312
- especially me, get close to you.
- Exactly.
513
00:21:08,347 --> 00:21:11,069
I now realize I'm ready
to let myself get close to people,
514
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,629
even if I'm gonna watch you all die.
515
00:21:12,630 --> 00:21:13,960
ALL: Aww.
516
00:21:14,050 --> 00:21:15,650
But if you tell anyone my secret,
517
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,050
I will spend the rest of eternity
518
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:20,357
eliminating your bloodline
off the face of the planet.
519
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,139
[laughs]
520
00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:26,620
You guys, this is gonna be
so much fun.
521
00:21:26,913 --> 00:21:29,808
series' sync & correction by f1nc0
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