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1
00:00:01,620 --> 00:00:03,729
And the final stop
on our little private tour
2
00:00:03,730 --> 00:00:07,730
is an exhibit devoted to
Grimsburg's biggest industry...
3
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,469
murder.
[thunder booming]
4
00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:13,950
Jeff the Ripper,
the Deathguard,
5
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,379
Killex, featuring DJ Khaled.
6
00:00:16,380 --> 00:00:19,590
Notice a pattern here?
They're all men.
7
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,499
And yet women make up
half of our population.
8
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,970
Look, if you're trying
to murder my sausage
9
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,935
on this date, it's working.
10
00:00:26,936 --> 00:00:29,910
Ooh! An empty one!
I'm going in.
11
00:00:30,010 --> 00:00:32,150
Look at me!
Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh!
12
00:00:32,250 --> 00:00:33,250
[cackles]
13
00:00:33,251 --> 00:00:36,690
- Whose exhibit is this?
- It's mine.
14
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,000
How can it be yours
if I'm the one inside the box
15
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,770
that's rapidly filling up with gas?
16
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:47,980
Because I'm a killer, and I'm
killing you to make the point
17
00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:50,789
that women...
You know what? Forget it.
18
00:00:50,790 --> 00:00:52,550
If you think this is
gonna get me to go out
19
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:56,999
with you again, I just might.
20
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,039
[dramatic music]
21
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:05,940
#
22
00:01:16,270 --> 00:01:17,769
[glass shatters]
23
00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:18,770
[birds chirping]
24
00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:20,580
Look, Harm,
I appreciate you letting me
25
00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:22,680
move into the basement
after I abandoned the family
26
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,550
to pursue my talent for alcoholism.
27
00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:26,360
But how can I fix
things with you and Stan
28
00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:27,689
if I'm not welcome upstairs?
29
00:01:27,690 --> 00:01:29,930
I would do anything
to change your mind.
30
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:37,449
And when I say anything,
I mean most things. Mmm.
31
00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:39,080
Stan, to your room!
32
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,590
[kissing]
33
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:43,390
I gave you two simple rules
when you moved back in.
34
00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:45,430
One, stay in the basement,
35
00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:49,840
and two,
no Vin Diesel movie nights.
36
00:01:49,940 --> 00:01:51,940
OK, fan club's over!
37
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:55,150
It's not a fan club.
It's a family.
38
00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:56,950
ALL: Family.
39
00:01:56,990 --> 00:01:59,770
- Out.
- Look, I need to be allowed upstairs.
40
00:01:59,794 --> 00:02:01,230
- That's where my family is.
- Family.
41
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,970
And the good bathroom
with the magazines
42
00:02:02,971 --> 00:02:05,311
I'd never buy myself but whose
advice I've come to rely on.
43
00:02:05,411 --> 00:02:07,710
I'm doing this for Stan.
He doesn't need a father
44
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,454
who runs off every time he
can't crack a case or has a bad
45
00:02:10,455 --> 00:02:13,480
- experience at a four-way stop.
- But I've changed.
46
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:14,420
Now I just close my eyes
and floor it.
47
00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:16,729
You say you've changed,
but you never change.
48
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:19,065
So you're not coming
upstairs until you can change
49
00:02:19,066 --> 00:02:21,400
that and prove you've
actually changed for a change.
50
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:22,900
Now, I got to go change.
51
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,120
The "Grimsburg's Got Talent
Talent Show" is coming up,
52
00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:28,384
and I'm competing to be a judge.
53
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:35,030
- Family.
- Wow, how do you clog a bucket?
54
00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:36,700
[bell rings]
55
00:02:37,970 --> 00:02:39,570
Think fast!
56
00:02:40,370 --> 00:02:42,240
OK, not a sports kid.
57
00:02:42,340 --> 00:02:47,520
- Finished my art project, Mr. Flesh.
- Ha-ha!
58
00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:50,360
Look who made a picture frame
for his divorced parents
59
00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:54,370
- to remind them of the good ol' days.
- I thought it might help.
60
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:58,140
When you gonna get it through
your thick skull, Stan, huh?
61
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,280
You can't fix them!
62
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:03,870
[woman over PA] Tyge Hilden,
your parents are here to give
63
00:03:03,871 --> 00:03:06,065
you a hug, just because.
64
00:03:06,066 --> 00:03:10,750
You got lucky today, Stan.
Almost as lucky as I did
65
00:03:10,751 --> 00:03:15,269
being born to parents who
make love seem uncomplicated.
66
00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:17,927
I said almost.
[laughter]
67
00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:21,390
Let's rip out their spines
68
00:03:21,391 --> 00:03:24,290
and slurp 'em like spaghetti,
"Lady and the Tramp"-style!
69
00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:27,530
Or we could prove
them wrong by getting
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00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:31,140
- my parents back together.
- Fine. But now, we've got
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00:03:31,141 --> 00:03:33,380
to get some chow, because
now I'm craving pasta.
72
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,780
Or dogs.
73
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,799
The victim is Hort Jomes, won
the talent show two years ago.
74
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,140
He swallowed three swords
and his trophy.
75
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,570
Turns out it was more of
a compulsion than a talent.
76
00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:46,809
- I miss swallowing.
- This talent show again?
77
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:49,120
It's like that's all anyone
can talk or murder about.
78
00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:51,720
Time to see what my Crime Mind
is recommending for us...
79
00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:54,659
[echoing] recommending for us,
recommending for us...
80
00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:57,070
[remote control clicking]
81
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:57,700
[screen chimes]
82
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,040
[eerie electronic music]
83
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,140
# #
84
00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:04,330
If we figure out the motive,
we can catch the killer.
85
00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:06,220
Oh! Do these bikes have
any suspension?
86
00:04:06,350 --> 00:04:09,160
The killerth diorama wath
in the thenter of the room
87
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:10,360
to get our atthenshun.
88
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,740
So the killer feels they're
not being recognized, and...
89
00:04:12,764 --> 00:04:14,840
[in high-pitched voice] Ah, yep!
That ball is inside me now.
90
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:18,479
And what better way to express
your displeasure with how society
91
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,479
- recognizes talent than by...
- Killing talent show...
92
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,160
[in normal voice] Winners.
It dropped. Thanks.
93
00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:25,830
Ugh, I miss the '80s.
94
00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:27,560
Enjoy Michael Jackson
while you can,
95
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,770
but don't hang out with him.
Well, you could.
96
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,570
[screams]
97
00:04:32,670 --> 00:04:34,680
Wynona, seen any other
talent show winners
98
00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:36,050
in the morgue recently?
99
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:36,880
[sniffing]
100
00:04:36,881 --> 00:04:39,335
Actually, the winners
from three, four, five,
101
00:04:39,336 --> 00:04:41,790
six, and seven years
ago also died this week.
102
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,660
Maybe I should have
mentioned that earlier.
103
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:44,999
OK, here's the plan.
104
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,769
He's coming for last
year's winner next,
105
00:04:46,770 --> 00:04:48,490
and when that no-talent
psychopath shows up,
106
00:04:48,514 --> 00:04:51,240
- we'll be there.
- Case closed.
107
00:04:51,340 --> 00:04:55,050
- Nice work, Wynona.
- What? No, it's... ugh.
108
00:04:56,650 --> 00:04:58,860
Heard you moved back home.
How's it going with Harm?
109
00:04:58,890 --> 00:05:01,510
Until I can prove I've changed,
I'm trapped in the basement.
110
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:02,876
But how's she gonna know I
changed if she never sees me?
111
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:04,270
I'm trapped
in a basement all day.
112
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:07,540
But I'm surrounded by corpses,
so it's not as bad.
113
00:05:07,610 --> 00:05:10,135
Well, then you need to see
Harmony outside the house to prove
114
00:05:10,136 --> 00:05:12,050
- to her you've changed.
- Good idea, Kang.
115
00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:13,890
You're like a walking
toilet magazine.
116
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:18,160
[laughs] Oh, you always
give the best advice.
117
00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:21,408
Well, I give good advice too.
118
00:05:21,443 --> 00:05:25,980
- Flute, your pants are too tight.
- I won't apologize for having drip.
119
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,190
[horn fanfare]
120
00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:32,560
Welcome to the annual
"Grimsburg's Got Talent"
121
00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:34,830
Talent Competition
Judging Competition,
122
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:37,440
a contest to pick the judges
to judge the contest.
123
00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:39,170
I know. It is confusing.
124
00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:41,080
But the rules
are the rules, my friends,
125
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:42,810
and they were written
by a nine-year-old
126
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,670
who won another contest
to write those rules.
127
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,120
- That's Grimsburg, baby!
- What are you doing here?
128
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:49,940
I figured maybe this dumb, stupid talent
129
00:05:49,941 --> 00:05:51,660
show isn't so stupid, dumb after all.
130
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,430
I guess you could say I've chan...
131
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:56,811
[cannon booms]
[dramatic percussive music]
132
00:05:58,300 --> 00:05:59,700
This event makes sense.
133
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:01,439
A judge needs to be physically
fit so we're racing.
134
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,780
- [growls]
- And you are running,
135
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,320
but like a bear, because you
were raised by bears!
136
00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:06,480
[growls]
137
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:09,290
Oh, I get it! A good judge
must make lightning-quick
138
00:06:09,291 --> 00:06:11,960
decisions while balancing
between being a Simon Cowell
139
00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:15,840
and whatever pop diva is trying
to land a Vegas residency.
140
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:19,180
- Pogo-sticking...
- [growls]
141
00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:20,310
[loud explosions]
142
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:22,345
...through the old minefield?
143
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,760
All right, well,
this is just a Squid Game.
144
00:06:25,860 --> 00:06:27,730
And it looks like
we have our three judges.
145
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:31,270
As always, Harmony Flute,
town dry-cleaner Skid Marcus,
146
00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:33,599
and Marvin Flute!
147
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,010
OK, back to "Fortnite."
148
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,450
Oh, it's gonna be so fun
judging together.
149
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,760
Fun?
Everywhere you go, crime follows.
150
00:06:41,790 --> 00:06:44,029
Uh, you say that
like it's not super cool.
151
00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:47,200
You turned our son's birth
into a sting operation.
152
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:48,670
How do you think I feel?
153
00:06:48,770 --> 00:06:50,770
You turned my sting operation
into Stan's birth.
154
00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:53,540
Besides, that was the old me.
I can turn it off.
155
00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:55,150
[snaps]
There. It's off.
156
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:58,389
Mm-hmm, then what are
you doing right now?
157
00:06:58,390 --> 00:07:01,230
Uh, not crime stuff.
Have a nice day, Squiggles.
158
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,659
You'll see I've changed.
159
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:03,600
I'm not gonna let
work interfere at all
160
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:05,460
with the two of us judging.
[clown laughs]
161
00:07:05,484 --> 00:07:08,310
Hey! That clown is killing
everyone he sees!
162
00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:09,779
[crowd screaming]
163
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:12,287
People are literally
screaming with excitement
164
00:07:12,309 --> 00:07:14,390
about us judging together.
165
00:07:15,830 --> 00:07:18,730
[jazzy music]
166
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:21,400
# #
167
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,109
Commencing Operation
Undercover Talent
168
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,610
Show Winner Stakeout, over.
169
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,080
Handsome Falcon
is on the beach, over.
170
00:07:27,110 --> 00:07:30,519
- We did not agree to code names.
- You're breaking up there, Wet Blanket.
171
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,160
How's our insurance
agent doing?
172
00:07:32,260 --> 00:07:34,890
- Any sign of the killer, Jake?
- Hard to say.
173
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,630
I've been busy trying to bundle
someone's home and auto plans.
174
00:07:36,670 --> 00:07:38,400
Hey, Flute, aren't you
supposed to be getting
175
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,960
- ready for the talent show?
- It's fine.
176
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,230
I'll catch the killer, wrap
this up, be over there in
177
00:07:42,231 --> 00:07:44,420
plenty of time to give a young
performer a reality check.
178
00:07:44,450 --> 00:07:47,239
Made out to "you suck" in
the amount of "never gonna
179
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,029
make it" dollars and 42 cents
from the Bank of Failure.
180
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:51,630
Memo line, "give up."
181
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:55,670
- Routing number...
- Flute! Got something for you.
182
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:58,009
Back when my dead wife
was my alive wife,
183
00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:00,820
she hated the job too.
So I started taking DetectOff.
184
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,959
One pill shuts off detective
brain for up to 12 hours.
185
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,330
Flute, are you happy with
your life insurance policy?
186
00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:10,030
Because someone's
behind you with a knife!
187
00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:11,800
[dramatic music]
188
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:12,910
Freeze!
189
00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:14,010
Ah, damn.
190
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,210
# #
191
00:08:16,310 --> 00:08:18,079
You're under arrest.
192
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:22,059
Ma'am? My apologies, we
clearly made a mistake here.
193
00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:23,289
On your way, milady.
194
00:08:23,290 --> 00:08:24,660
- Thanks, m'turd.
- What?
195
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:28,539
- No! She had a knife!
- K, you see where that knife went?
196
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:32,810
Aw, man, I just bought
this parka six years ago.
197
00:08:34,620 --> 00:08:37,760
Now to try some of that sensitivity
training I slept through.
198
00:08:37,790 --> 00:08:39,910
You rarely hear about women
in the serial killer game.
199
00:08:39,934 --> 00:08:41,500
I mean, uh,
not that you can't kill,
200
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,630
because you can... and did,
very well, I might add.
201
00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:45,690
Everyone you killed
is quite dead, so good on you.
202
00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:47,210
Equality. Suffrage.
203
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:48,700
You know, your body.
Rachel Maddow.
204
00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:50,980
- I'm an ally.
- Gee. Thanks.
205
00:08:51,050 --> 00:08:54,060
While there have been plenty
of female serial killers,
206
00:08:54,090 --> 00:08:57,729
there wasn't one in that exhibit.
Well, I'm out to change that.
207
00:08:57,730 --> 00:09:00,570
Hey, I'm all for shattering
traditional female stereotypes.
208
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,727
For starters, can we turn the AC off?
Because I'm freezing.
209
00:09:03,762 --> 00:09:05,380
[phone chimes]
Oh, hey, Harm.
210
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,119
Of course you're late.
I knew you'd never change.
211
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,520
No, I am not late.
I'm gonna be there in...
212
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,260
I made it in four minutes,
barely broke any laws to do it.
213
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:19,539
- Marvin? Who's that?
- Oh, this is Anna, friend from not work.
214
00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:21,180
The restraints are for
her own protection.
215
00:09:21,204 --> 00:09:24,550
- She's super clumsy.
- Augh, this is bad.
216
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:27,520
We can't find our third judge,
Skid Marcus.
217
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,390
Maybe your friend here
could fill in?
218
00:09:29,430 --> 00:09:32,530
- No, I don't think she should.
- Why?
219
00:09:32,570 --> 00:09:35,440
Too many women
in power for you, Flute?
220
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:37,509
What? Me?
No, I love women in power.
221
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,980
I voted for Hilary... Swank...
in my Oscar pool.
222
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,289
- Let's have Anna judge.
- Wonderful.
223
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,160
If someone could
help me out of this?
224
00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:46,630
Oh, look, I did it myself.
225
00:09:46,730 --> 00:09:49,600
[eerie music]
226
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:50,430
# #
227
00:09:50,530 --> 00:09:51,700
[upbeat dance music]
228
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:53,880
[announcer] And now,
your Mastermind of Ceremonies,
229
00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:56,850
Grimsburg Middle's
top teacher by way of Grimsburg
230
00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,120
Prison's most ill-conceived
work-release program,
231
00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:02,730
Dr. Rufis Pentos.
232
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,900
What a night.
I can feel the buzz in the air.
233
00:10:05,970 --> 00:10:08,870
Wait!
That's my ankle bracelet.
234
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:09,900
[laughter]
235
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:13,309
Let's meet our
unacceptably all white judges.
236
00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:15,580
Hashtag, do better.
237
00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:18,220
I'm Harmony Flute,
and I know talent can come from
238
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,329
anywhere...
even the humble cave,
239
00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:22,430
where I grew up
with a rock as my pillow
240
00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:23,869
and bears as my parents.
241
00:10:23,870 --> 00:10:26,310
Thank you for your sympathy
and your upcoming
242
00:10:26,340 --> 00:10:28,080
applause for my bravery.
[applause]
243
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,480
Oh!
[laughs]
244
00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:32,220
I'm Anna,
and I hope the winner has
245
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:35,630
a talent that's... to die for.
246
00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:38,446
Also, I'm a sucker for tap dancing.
247
00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:44,710
What? Oh. Uh, hi!
I'm Detective Marvin Flute,
248
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:47,950
and I'll be collecting evidence
of who is the most talented.
249
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:51,060
But not the usual evidence like
carpet fibers, blood samples,
250
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,360
gunpowder residue, or...
oh, semen.
251
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:54,760
So much!
252
00:10:54,830 --> 00:10:56,870
Honestly, the first time
you walk into a crime scene
253
00:10:56,894 --> 00:10:59,410
covered in it, you think,
"Well, that happened."
254
00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:01,070
And then, by the 20th time,
you're like,
255
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,509
"What is wrong with people?"
256
00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:04,176
And then by the 50th time,
you're like,
257
00:11:04,211 --> 00:11:06,791
"What is wrong with me?"
258
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,900
Let's get things started
with our first act,
259
00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:13,870
Eddie the telepathic donkey,
who will convince one of you
260
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:17,710
in the audience
to steal the Popemobile.
261
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,750
[donkey brays]
262
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:23,320
I thought you said you could
turn off the detective stuff.
263
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,760
God, I should have known.
You're just like James Corden.
264
00:11:25,790 --> 00:11:28,060
You ruin everything you touch.
265
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,770
[donkey braying]
266
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:40,090
Yes, Eddie.
I obey.
267
00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:43,489
What are we waiting
in this line for?
268
00:11:43,490 --> 00:11:49,410
- I'm going to sing a song.
- [laughs] You? Singing a song?
269
00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:52,510
Not "a song."
My parents' favorite song.
270
00:11:52,550 --> 00:11:54,420
When it came on,
no matter how mad they were,
271
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:55,820
everything changed.
272
00:11:55,850 --> 00:11:57,770
They'd send me to my room,
and then I'd hear them
273
00:11:57,794 --> 00:11:58,829
move furniture around.
274
00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:00,360
Dad would get tired,
but Mom would say,
275
00:12:00,390 --> 00:12:01,730
"Don't stop. Don't stop."
276
00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:04,700
And then once they rearrange it,
she'd ask if that's how he liked it.
277
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:06,709
And he'd say,
"I love that, mistress."
278
00:12:06,710 --> 00:12:08,709
Obviously, he meant "mattress."
And then...
279
00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:13,549
Stangello, you can't do this.
The Stable Boys will tear you apart.
280
00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:17,300
Not if I tear my parents
back together first.
281
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,300
[upbeat music]
282
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,900
# #
283
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,570
[applause]
284
00:12:23,670 --> 00:12:26,680
I'm not a big fan of coyotes,
but I'm giving you
285
00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:29,220
a "hibern-eight" out of "den!"
286
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,860
[laughs] Raised by bears.
287
00:12:30,890 --> 00:12:33,430
Dancing is the lowest
discipline of the arts.
288
00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:35,010
It's basically
a weird way of walking,
289
00:12:35,034 --> 00:12:37,800
except you don't go anywhere,
and your arms get tired.
290
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:38,940
But guess what.
291
00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:40,980
I love your song choice,
I love your costumes,
292
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,601
and I love that your love
is illegal in most states.
293
00:12:43,636 --> 00:12:45,790
It's a nine.
[cheers and applause]
294
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,790
[upbeat music]
295
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:51,159
# #
296
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,299
[laughter]
297
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:57,040
#
298
00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:58,179
[laughing]
299
00:12:58,180 --> 00:12:59,310
[both screaming]
300
00:12:59,350 --> 00:13:01,849
[cheers and applause]
301
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:04,360
That performance was
hot, hot, hot!
302
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:06,360
[cheers and applause]
303
00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:08,930
[upbeat music]
304
00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:11,070
One day, that'll be my family.
305
00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:14,440
Yeah, sure,
we get some zip ties and gags,
306
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,109
and they're all yours!
307
00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:18,280
#
308
00:13:18,350 --> 00:13:21,220
[grunting]
309
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:24,500
# #
310
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:28,070
I give it a "roller sk-nine!"
311
00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:32,350
And our final performance
tonight is...
312
00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:34,220
Stan Flute?
313
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,350
[audience gasps]
314
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:39,230
I think we found our loser.
315
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,030
Is this on?
It is. Good.
316
00:13:42,031 --> 00:13:44,170
I didn't want
to have to repeat that.
317
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,070
You sure you don't
want to wear a mask?
318
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:48,780
It might go better if they
think you're Rudy Giuliani.
319
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:51,750
[microphone feedback]
320
00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:55,190
♪ There's always
that one person that ♪
321
00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:58,059
Oh, God, he's gonna
live with me until he's 30.
322
00:13:58,060 --> 00:14:00,285
This is why I kept
saying we should have those
323
00:14:00,286 --> 00:14:02,510
spinny chairs from
"The Voice" and an open bar.
324
00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:04,680
♪ I did from the start ♪
325
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:07,819
♪ Know that you're
that one for me ♪
326
00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:12,689
♪ It's clear for
everyone to see, baby ♪
327
00:14:12,690 --> 00:14:15,570
[audience booing]
328
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:20,780
♪ You will always be my boo ♪
329
00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:23,280
[audience cheering]
330
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:26,119
♪ Now I don't know about
y'all, but I know about us ♪
331
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,190
♪ And it's the only way
we know how to ride ♪
332
00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:30,990
♪ My boo ♪
333
00:14:31,090 --> 00:14:35,140
♪ I know we haven't
seen each other in a while ♪
334
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:41,349
BOTH:
# But you will always be my boo #
335
00:14:42,390 --> 00:14:45,560
[cheers and applause]
336
00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:49,200
This year's
talent show winner is...
337
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:50,300
[dramatic music]
338
00:14:50,301 --> 00:14:53,840
Stan Flute!
339
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:59,320
I got to say, you didn't ruin
this with your detective stuff
340
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:01,620
like you normally do.
Maybe you have changed.
341
00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:03,540
Looks like it might be time
for someone to get
342
00:15:03,590 --> 00:15:05,130
upstairs pooping privileges.
343
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,699
Have either of you two
no-longer-in-love-birds
344
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:11,579
seen Anna or Stan?
345
00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:12,850
And look at this.
346
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,579
[mysterious music]
347
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:18,390
Oh, I think
we might have a problem.
348
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,899
- I want a divorce!
- Wait!
349
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:24,270
- We can still be a stable family!
- Save it, hack!
350
00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:25,896
You had a chance to keep
this family together,
351
00:15:25,931 --> 00:15:27,994
and it was on stage!
352
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,150
- Uh, uh...
- [sighs]
353
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:33,960
So you brought a killer whose
MO is she kills talent show
354
00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:36,560
winners to the talent show,
which our son won,
355
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:39,339
and now she's kidnapped him.
Congrats.
356
00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:41,300
You're the grand marshall
of the Dumb-Dumb parade.
357
00:15:41,324 --> 00:15:45,380
- Ooh, thanks. Do I get a sash?
- Just do your Crime Mind thing
358
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,850
so we can wrap up
this little Flute-scapade.
359
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:50,959
Uh, right. I'm on it.
360
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,830
[machine beeping, trilling]
361
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,969
Uh, the Crime Mind
is kind of offline.
362
00:15:57,970 --> 00:16:01,610
Oh, of course it is.
Wait, look!
363
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:06,119
The ground is sinking in similarly
sized and spaced intervals.
364
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,011
- Neat! I'm gonna pee in them.
- Those are footprints, you idiot.
365
00:16:09,046 --> 00:16:10,380
- What's wrong with you?
- Right, right.
366
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,000
They must be Anna and Stan's.
367
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:14,139
OK, so here's what we're
gonna do... pee in them.
368
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,676
You pee in the big ones,
I'll go to the small.
369
00:16:15,711 --> 00:16:18,249
- No, we should follow them.
- Yes! Right.
370
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,890
- Follow... what, exactly?
- The footprints!
371
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,720
Right.
And we just pee wherever.
372
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:23,989
[she sighs]
373
00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:27,199
[eerie music]
374
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,299
#
375
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,440
Just wait here,
Mr. Talent Show winner.
376
00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:35,510
I need to pick up some knives
for the, uh, awards ceremony.
377
00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:39,460
- Come to apologize?
- Apologize?
378
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,160
No, I came to tell you
that lady's got more screws
379
00:16:42,190 --> 00:16:44,529
loose than that steering
column I loosened all
380
00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:46,869
the screws on to get you
out of that field trip.
381
00:16:46,870 --> 00:16:50,410
- Now, let's get out of here.
- You just can't stand when I succeed.
382
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,080
My parents are almost
back together.
383
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:54,619
My plan is working, and
nobody had to get hurt or
384
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:57,059
lose their class B commercial
bus driver's license.
385
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:58,660
Who were you talking to?
386
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:04,039
Just a big old bag of nobody.
387
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,780
[eerie music]
388
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:11,189
[bird caws]
389
00:17:11,190 --> 00:17:13,360
The footprints stop here.
390
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:16,128
[sniffs]
[growls]
391
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:24,570
#
392
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:31,030
- Hmm.
- Flute! Skid Marcus is in here!
393
00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:33,400
Finally!
I've been here for days.
394
00:17:33,430 --> 00:17:37,570
- I know exactly where Anna is.
- Clam it, dirtbag!
395
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:40,040
What the hell?
Why would you do that?
396
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:44,050
I don't know. I thought I
could change, but I couldn't.
397
00:17:44,074 --> 00:17:46,160
So I took some DetectOff
to make you think I did.
398
00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:48,490
I needed drugs,
because you're right about me.
399
00:17:48,590 --> 00:17:50,830
I'm a one-trick pony,
just like that donkey
400
00:17:50,930 --> 00:17:51,930
that did that one trick.
401
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:54,770
Wait, what's the difference
between a pony and a donkey?
402
00:17:54,810 --> 00:17:57,210
- Is one gay?
- So you took the drugs for me?
403
00:17:57,340 --> 00:18:00,350
That's so... sweet.
404
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:03,060
The old you
only took drugs for you,
405
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,360
which means maybe you've changed.
406
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,570
Yes! I told you!
In your face! Sorry!
407
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,080
The competitive part
of me still needs
408
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,110
a little bit of work.
You loser!
409
00:18:12,111 --> 00:18:13,810
[chuckles]
Sorry, again.
410
00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:15,210
[gasps]
411
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:16,250
I know where she went.
412
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,490
I solved it, even on DetectOff!
Ha!
413
00:18:18,491 --> 00:18:21,660
Your mom could go suck a butt!
I'm so sorry.
414
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,970
[suspenseful music]
415
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:27,440
While I'm sorry you have to die,
416
00:18:27,470 --> 00:18:30,510
if I can inspire just one girl
to believe she can kill
417
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:32,850
as good as a man,
your horrifying death
418
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,720
will be worth it.
419
00:18:36,390 --> 00:18:41,000
- Did you come here to gloat?
- I have a better idea.
420
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:44,240
If we're gonna go down,
we're gonna go down together,
421
00:18:44,270 --> 00:18:46,745
like Bonnie and Clyde,
or Thelma and Louise,
422
00:18:46,746 --> 00:18:49,950
or Thelma and Louise
in that deleted scene.
423
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:52,520
- Mr. Flesh?
- Yes, Stan and Deliver?
424
00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:54,260
I should have listened to you.
425
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,660
I know all my therapists
say you're pretend,
426
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,840
but you're the only real friend
I've ever had.
427
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:09,350
- Are you crying?
- Oh, what? No.
428
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,829
[chuckles]
Come on, crying is for babies
429
00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:15,170
and YouTube videos of soldiers
coming home to their dogs.
430
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:17,870
[sobbing]
Their sweet, sweet dogs.
431
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:20,709
Ladies and gentlemen,
for too long
432
00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:22,850
Grimsburg has
refused to recognize
433
00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:25,420
the strides women have
made in the art of death...
434
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:29,429
sociopaths like Cyanide Cindy,
the Lawnmower Ma'am,
435
00:19:29,430 --> 00:19:31,770
Jeffrey Dahm-her,
Princess Die...
436
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,910
that's D-I-E...
they all had to endure having
437
00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:39,050
their grisly work overlooked.
Tonight that ends.
438
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,320
[bell dings]
439
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:44,060
[dramatic music]
440
00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:46,490
Family!
I mean, freeze!
441
00:19:46,530 --> 00:19:49,100
You may have found me,
but you can't stop me
442
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:51,863
- from killing the winner.
- Maybe not. But you should know,
443
00:19:51,993 --> 00:19:53,410
Stan's not the winner.
444
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,810
- What?
- [gasps]
445
00:19:54,850 --> 00:19:55,610
[all gasp]
446
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:57,390
- The talent show
rule book clearly states
447
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,330
that contestants may not
be related to any judge
448
00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:00,730
due to a conflict of interest.
449
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,330
Therefore, our son,
Stan, is disqualified.
450
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:06,599
But there is a winner.
You.
451
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,340
After everything you did
to get here,
452
00:20:08,370 --> 00:20:11,010
you are truly
Grimsburg's most talented.
453
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:16,320
- We see you.
- I did it! I'm the talent show winner!
454
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:22,200
But I kill talent show winners.
All of them.
455
00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:23,770
[knife clangs]
456
00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:28,110
But we appreciate the
strides you've made for women.
457
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:30,820
Thank God!
I don't want to die any...
458
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,820
[screams]
459
00:20:35,290 --> 00:20:37,530
- Family.
- Seriously? Gas money?
460
00:20:37,630 --> 00:20:38,970
You only drove us three blocks.
461
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,610
[engine turning over]
[engine revving]
462
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,749
Whoa, that flying car
just landed on a plane,
463
00:20:44,750 --> 00:20:48,389
and it landed on a cloud,
and the cloud is a rocket!
464
00:20:48,390 --> 00:20:52,189
You know what? That's still
more realistic than "Furious 7."
465
00:20:52,505 --> 00:20:53,660
Hell of a voice, child boy.
466
00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:55,940
You know, I used to sing
myself before I realized
467
00:20:55,941 --> 00:20:58,140
it was illegal for
detectives to be artistic.
468
00:20:58,141 --> 00:21:00,450
Wow.
Should we all have
469
00:21:00,451 --> 00:21:02,950
- some ice cream at home?
- That would be great.
470
00:21:03,050 --> 00:21:05,990
Maybe you could leave a bowl at
the top of the stairs for me.
471
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,300
From now on,
you can come upstairs.
472
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,500
[glasses clanking]
473
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:16,550
What do you mean there's
a split plate charge?
474
00:21:16,580 --> 00:21:18,249
Uh, we should go.
475
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,019
[donkey braying]
476
00:21:20,020 --> 00:21:20,990
Hey, wait!
477
00:21:21,020 --> 00:21:23,390
[screaming]
478
00:21:23,430 --> 00:21:26,378
Seeing it now, he
definitely should have won.
479
00:21:26,906 --> 00:21:29,733
sync & correction by f1nc0
-- Addic7ed.com --
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