All language subtitles for maude_s06e20_mr._butterfield_s_return

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.

She didn't care if the whole world
looked.

Joan of Arc was the Lord to guide her.
She was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't
you glad she showed up?

Oh, yeah.

When the country was falling apart,
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

And then there's Maud.

And then there's Maud. And then there's
Maud. And then there's Maud. And then

there's Maud. And then there's Maud.
That'll compromise and enterprise and

anything but tranquilize. Right or not?

And now, Eugene, you can win a washer
-dryer if you can correctly tell us what

your bride Beatrice answered when we
asked her what was the most embarrassing

thing that happened on your wedding
night.

Oh, he knows, he knows. She put a piece
of wedding cake under my pillow and I

squished it.

You dummy! Tell him, isn't he a dummy?

Your little bride answered that the most
embarrassing thing that happened to you

on your wedding night was you were
impotent.

You'd think he'd remember that.

You told them that? Well, it's true.

You were just a complete fifth off. You
stupid dodo. Well, our couple failed to

win the washer -dryer, but we'll be back
tomorrow for Here Comes the Bride.

Now, stay tuned.

Oh, but aren't those young newlyweds
just as cute as a bug in a rug?

Cute? They're disgusting.

I think they're cute. Oh, come on.
Vivian, would you get on national TV and

the chance of winning a washer -dryer
tell the world that on your wedding

Arthur was impotent? Of course not.
Exactly my point.

Besides, it wasn't all his fault.

I was the one who insisted we order that
last glass of champagne. Please,

Vivian, spare me the details.

Well, it looks like Victoria will be a
newlywed pretty soon, huh? I don't think

so. I'm sure that she'll be staying on
as my housekeeper for some time. Why?

Well, when she went off on that weekend
camping trip with that young man, I

thought it meant something significant.
It did. I believe it's called fun

trucking.

But I don't think they plan on getting
married.

I mean, after all, Hank is still an
intern at the hospital. He can't afford

get married now.

Oh, Walter's going to look so beautiful
when we go out to dinner tomorrow. Look,

not a wrinkle.

I'm just so excited about our dinner
date tomorrow night.

You know, Sheila Hackett said that just
because that restaurant is in the

Lancelot Hotel, we shouldn't expect
ordinary hotel food.

She said it's very continental.

Yeah. I've heard nothing but good things
about the restaurant at the Lancelot.

They say the ambiance is wonderful.

Oh, good. I'll order that.

Did you get that, Viv? I want to hang
up.

The bells are ringing.

Holy night.

Mrs.

Harmon, right? You remember me? I'm
Victoria's father. Of course, Mr.

Butterfield. What a surprise. Come in,
please. Thank you.

My goodness, did you come to Tuckhole
all the way from that darling little

island of St... What's his name?

Norman. That's his name.

I'm charmed to see you again.

The last person I saw kiss a lady's hand
like that was Charles Boyer in Hold

Back the Dawn.

That's where I picked it up.

Oh.

Well, please make yourself right at
home. Thank you. You know, Victoria

mention you were coming.

Well, one of our stewards fell ill, and
I'm just filling in for him. But

actually, I enjoy working the big 747
flight, you know, from Trinidad to New

York, and it gives me a chance to visit
with my daughter.

Well, I hate to meet and run.

But I really have to be going. Maude
will be in in a minute. Thank you. Oh, I

forgot to tell you, Victoria isn't here.

She's off on a weekend camping trip with
her boyfriend, Hank.

Oh, but Mr. Butterfield, don't worry
about a thing because Maude says there's

not a chance they'll be getting married.
They're just, um, fun trucking.

Um, and Mr. Butterfield... Hey! Not
another word.

Mr.

Butterfield, what a...

What a pleasant surprise.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Finlay.

Well, we never know when you airline
people will show up, do we?

Unfortunately,

Victoria isn't here. She's off on a
weekend with two or three or four

girlfriends. It has something to do with
Bible study, I believe. I'm not quite

sure. Would you care for some coffee?

Bible study, eh?

Mrs. Finlay, I consider you to be one of
the most immoral, deceitful, lying...

bodacious creatures to ever travel the
face of this earth.

Well, we all have our faults.

Mrs. Finley, how dare you allow Victoria
to go off on a camping trip and, as you

Americans say, shack up for the weekend?

How dare you? I resent the use of that
expression, shack up. I assure you,

Victoria is not shacking up.

What would you call it, then?

Tenting up.

Tenting tonight on the old campground.

It's an old American custom. It's also
an old American song. I can appreciate

your concern from Victoria, but I assure
you she's doing nothing wrong.

She's in love.

Mrs. Finley, there is a difference
between sex and love. Oh, but the

is so small.

Mrs. Finley, if Victoria's mother were
to learn of this matter, it would kill

the poor woman.

Now, tonight.

I have to work on a 747 flying to
Trinidad, but I shall return on Sunday,

shall take my daughter back to the West
Indies with me. Now, look, Mr.

Butterfield, you cannot force Victoria
to go home. Mrs. Trinidad, you leave me

no alternative.

I cannot permit Victoria to stay in this
permissive atmosphere.

Victoria was taught to follow the
righteous path in a God -fearing home.

It sounds to me as though it wasn't God
she was afraid of, it was you.

Actually, there's really very little
difference between us.

You think you're God, huh? You think
you're perfect. Now I can tell you. Your

fly's open.

Come on, Wood. Cheer up. You're putting
a damper on the whole

evening.

Walter's right, Ma. Now, we've been
looking forward to this restaurant all

Please cheer up. How can I cheer up,
Vivian? You heard Mr.

Butterfield. When he comes back from
Trinidad, he's going to be taking

home. I have never met a man more old
-fashioned, more straight -laced, more

stuffy. He does have a point, though.

I forgot about you, Arthur.

Well, you know we all love Victoria.
She's a wonderful person, and she's just

like one of your family. And when she
leaves, it's going to be like losing a

daughter. But are you going to let that
tragedy ruin your whole evening?

Let's dance, baby.

Do something to cheer Maude up.

Captain?

Yes, sir?

Do you have frog's legs?

Yes. How do you keep them jumping out of
your pants?

steak night for three.

Uh,

thanks. Never mind.

What? That was funny. Where's your sense
of humor?

It's on the way to Trinidad in a 747.

Look, I don't want to ruin everybody's
night. Why don't I go home and the three

of you have dinner? No, Ma.

Ma, you can't leave.

The evening won't be any fun without
you.

Yes, it will.

Look, maybe if I go to the powder room
and freshen up and then come back and

have a drink, maybe then I'll feel like
having a good time. Honey, would you get

me a vodka martini on the right?

Move over.

Move over. Move over.

Mr.

Butterfield is sitting right behind us
with a beautiful young girl.

Did he see you? No, no. He's sitting
back there on the platform. Don't let

see you.

Where she

is, dear.

Butterfield can really pick up. Because
he's a God -fearing man. What he is is a

born -again lech.

Now, wait a minute, Marty.

The man is not necessarily a roué.

I think we ought to give the man the
benefit of the doubt.

Now, everybody knows on a crowded Friday
night in a hotel restaurant, they

sometimes ask singles to sit together.

Maybe he's just sharing her table.

Look where his hand is. He's also
sharing her knee.

Walter.

You know, Butterfield's flight might
have been canceled, and the woman could

a stewardess.

It's not uncommon for two members of the
same airline crew to have dinner

together. That's a very good
explanation.

I bet it's perfectly innocent.

It's a marvelous dinner, George.

Would you please see that our usual
brandies are sent up to the room?

Certainly, sir. And you're in room 747?

That's right.

Come along.

Good night,

Mr. Butterfield. Good night, Mr.

Trinidad.

Lord, Mr. Butterfield lied about taking
a 747 to Trinidad.

No, but he's close. He's taking a
Trinidad to 747.

Okay, I'll tell her.

And I'm glad you had a good time.

Who had a good time?

That was Hank calling. Victoria just
dropped them off and she'll be right

I'll bet she had a great weekend. I'm
sure she had a great weekend. I'm sure

father had a great weekend.

I'm the only one who had a miserable
weekend.

I didn't sleep one wink all night
because of Mr.

Butterfield. Don't worry, Mort.

I'll bet you Mr. Butterfield didn't get
much sleep either.

That lucky duck.

Walter, it is not funny.

No, it's not funny, Mort.

It's inspirational.

Walter, it is not funny.

Now, come on. I think, you know, Mr.
Butterfield has been so self -righteous

where Victoria's concerned, and yet he's
staying in a hotel with a woman, a

woman half his age.

That lucky duck.

I have a little story that reminds me of
what we're talking about.

There was once a little orphan boy who
had a little pony.

And we loved very, very much. Well...

One day, the little pony

ran away into the woods.

The little orphan boy followed him.

And when he found him, Walter, do you
know what he did?

He poured hot coffee on the pony's foot.

to see if you had any sensitivity at
all.

Oh, hi.

Is Victoria back yet? Oh, no. She should
be here any minute.

You know, Maude, maybe Victoria should
know the truth about her father.

The lucky duck.

I think Walter has a point.

If Victoria finds out about Lola
Trinidad, then she's not going to let

father run her life.

Vivian, I can't possibly tell Victoria
that her father is fooling around with a

young woman. It would absolutely destroy
her.

But, Maude, you love to destroy people.

Vivian, you know the story about the
little oracle.

I saw the movie with Buzzy the Wonder
Horse.

Roddy McDowell.

You know, I saw him the other night on
the Rockford file.

Really?

Yes, and he hasn't aged much at all.

Well, Roddy McDowell has such a boyish
face. No, no, no, I'm talking about

the Wonder Horse.

I saw Buzzy the Wonder Horse in Oats
Must Fall.

Maud, remember?

Buzzy in Oats Must Fall?

Will the two of you stop talking about
Buzzy the Wonder Horse? I'm very worried

about Victoria.

Her father's going to be here any
minute.

very strange feeling all morning. And
you know, I'm very intuitive.

You know, I inherited special powers of
ESP from my grandmother.

Well, believe me, when I tell you Mr.
Butterfield won't have the nerve to show

up here, he won't show up.

Wait a minute.

What?

That's him now.

S -P -S -T -I -N -K -S.

Mr. Butterfield, we were just talking
about you. You remember Mrs. Harmon, my

husband, Walter.

Mr. Finley.

How was Trinidad?

As usual, a delight.

Walter!

Walter, darling, don't you have
paperwork to do upstairs?

Say goodbye to Mr.

Duck.

Vivian. Oh, right.

Well,

I guess I'll just be mosey and long.

That's what they always used to say at
the end of those Buzzy the Wonder Horse

movies. And then Buzzy the Wonder Horse
would shake his head and go...

Charming woman.

And not a bad little horse.

I trust Victoria's upstairs packing, as
I ordered.

Oh, actually, no.

No? My daughter is defying me. Oh, no,
no, no. She's not defying you.

Well, what is it, Mrs. Finlay? Where is
she? Why isn't she here right now?

Well, I have some very exciting news.

Victoria and her boyfriend, Hank, were
secretly married last Friday. She just

called and confessed to me on the phone.
They're on their honeymoon now. Isn't

that exciting? Well, I was just so
delighted I told her she didn't have to

back here until Wednesday.

I'm home! Or this afternoon, if she
prefers.

Oh, Father!

What a nice surprise.

I didn't expect you.

What happened?

I broke my toe.

Oh, my darling, I am so sorry.

How did that happen?

Our tent collapsed.

Go to your room and pack.

Pack? Victoria, I hope that this
accident didn't spoil the honeymoon.

I'm afraid I let the cat out of the bag.
I told your father that you and Hank

had gotten married.

You told my father I was married?

Victoria, look me in the eye. Tell me
the truth.

Are you married?

you married?

No, Father.

Now, who are you going to believe, her
or me?

Miss Finley. Will you stay out of this,
Gimpy?

Victoria, I know what you did this
weekend. Your conduct is disgraceful.

leaving this house.

I am not leaving this house.

Well, it will kill your poor mother when
she learns of your behavior.

Mama?

You won't tell Mama?

I must.

I have no choice.

Unless, of course, you decide to go back
to St. Norman with me.

I'll go back.

Mr. Butterfield, I cannot believe that
you would stoop to threatening the poor

girl's mother.

It's a matter of integrity.

I've always been straightforward and
honest with Victoria's mother.

I have no secrets from my wife.

May I suggest one?

I don't receive your meaning.

Does the word Trinidad mean anything to
you?

Trinidad is a very beautiful island.

Surrounded on all sides by a middle
-aged family man from the West Indies.

I just received your meeting.

I take it you were at the Launcelot
Hotel last night?

Right, and from what I gather, you
prance a lot at the Launcelot.

It's entirely innocent.

I see I must explain to you.

You see, Lola Trinidad was a tiny babe
in our island.

Her mother died giving birth to her in a
cane field.

And then her father, in a desperate
effort to get milk for the child, was

in a fall from a coconut tree.

Yes, it was after that that the polio
struck.

Polio?

You would have been saddened to have
seen those little limbs.

We others in the village banded together
to get her the best medical care. I was

the leader in that effort.

Thank the Lord, the child recovered.

And today, Lola Jinadad is a fashion
model in New York City.

And now whenever I get a chance, I try
to have dinner with her just to reassure

myself that she is healthy.

It's a very moving story.

But a happy one.

Lola. has the complete youth of her
legs.

And so do you.

You didn't buy it.

Not one word of it.

Well, it was worth a shot.

Well, I assume that at least now you'll
let Victoria stay here.

Certainly not.

Nothing has changed.

Victoria's conduct was disgraceful.
Disgraceful? You're the one who's

disgraceful. You are a married man. You
don't care anything about your wife's

feelings. Mrs. Finley, how dare you?
You're speaking about the mother of my

child. I adore my wife.

She is an angelic woman.

She is a pure woman.

She is a saint.

Wait a minute. Who are you married to
down there? Debbie Boone?

Come, come, come, Mrs. Finley. You're a
woman of the world. You understand these

things. Although I adore my wife,
occasionally I get a little itch.

And when that happens, I like to get my
back scratched.

My husband just rubs himself against the
doorway.

Well, as we say in St. Norman, different
strokes for different folks.

Well, I think you're disgraceful. You're
immoral. You're unrepentant. Come,

come, Mrs. Finley. You're beginning to
sound like Debbie Boone yourself.

And I might add, Pat.

would never allow Debbie to go off on a
shameful weekend.

In other words, you're saying that
what's good for the old goose is not

necessarily proper for the young gander.
I hardly consider myself an old goose.

Well, if I were you, I'd take another
gander.

Mrs. King, what Victoria did was wrong
because she is a young woman.

My case is different. I am a man.

Ah!

The old... double standard.

Ah, a student of history.

Ah, shut up.

You cannot use being a man as an excuse.

Well, it works with Lola.

Does your wife know about this?

Oh, heavens, no.

It would kill the poor woman.

She's a saint. She has no business
living anywhere.

What about Victoria?

Would she understand?

Oh, no, no, no.

It would hurt her deeply.

Well, Mr. Butterfield, the choice is up
to you. Shall we hurt your daughter or

kill your wife?

How much time do we have left, Father?

Victoria, I've been having a very
enlightening conversation with dear,

Finlay.

And she has pointed it out to me that...

Perhaps I am wrong to insist that you
live up to my high moral standard.

Naturally, being a bit straight -laced,
I cannot condone today's permissive

society. On the other hand, Vicky, I
love you enough to let you lead your own

life. Of course, you may stay.

Oh, Father, thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry I got lipstick on your
collar.

Didn't even change his shirt.

You know, I'm very proud of you. You
have made Victoria very happy.

But you didn't really think that I would
say anything to either your wife or to

Victoria, did you? Of course not. I
never thought you would.

Then what made you change your mind?

Well, Mrs. Finley, you have a way of
putting things. You are a very...

intelligent woman.

I might add, you were a very handsome
woman the first time I saw you. You were

very exciting.

You were like an uncharted island, just
waiting, waiting to be discovered. Thank

you very much. Sit down. You know, I
have a little story I want to tell you.

I was recorded on videotape before a
studio audience.