All language subtitles for maude_s06e14_musical_78

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.

She didn't care if the whole world
looked.

Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her.

She was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't
you glad she showed up?

Oh, yeah.

The country was falling apart.

Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

And then there's Maud.

And then there's Maud. And then there's
Maud. And then there's Maud. And then

there's Maud. And then there's Maud.
That ain't compromising, enterprising,

anything but tranquilizing. No, no, no.

Come on, Walter. Now, come on. We're
going to be on the air in 15 minutes. I

want to rehearse this number. Okay.

Hit it, Bob.

We are just a couple of song and dance
men.

I'm the song.

I'm the dance.

Ladies,

knock off the ooh -wahs.

Look, Walter, it's such a simple step
that I showed you. Now, please, watch it

again.

Isn't that graceful?

How aesthetic, don't I remind you of
Shirley MacLaine in The Turning Point?

A little bit more like Seattle's slew in
The Prickness.

Walter, why can't you cooperate?

Walter, this has to be perfect so that
we can raise enough money to send little

baby Sally to see that orthopedic
specialist in Switzerland.

Maybe he'll be able to find out why she
suddenly lost the use of her little

legs. Come on now.

Ah, look at this courageous little
child.

A prisoner in her wheelchair, the sweet
adored... Say

you're sorry, baby Sally.

No!

That's all right, honey. Accidents will
happen.

Like when you ran over my foot
yesterday.

Get her out of here.

Oh, I swear she did that on purpose.

Don't be ridiculous.

You're probably right.

Walter, will you excuse me?

Reggie. Reggie.

Do you have the old film of Baby Sally
dancing?

Well, of course he's got the film,
Marty. That's why we hired Reggie

the best in the business. Ah, come on,
guy, huh?

Remember, Wad?

I've raised over a million dollars in
six different telethons. And in all

modesty, I can say that when the people
of Tuckahoe think of disease, they think

of me.

I tell you, Reggie, the Baby Sally
telethon is an inspired idea. Ah,

A talented child whose dancing career
was cut short by a mysterious leg

paralysis. We appeal to all Tuckahoeans
to help that child dance again.

All right, Hal, will you roll the Baby
Sally telethon? All right.

You know, this will tear their hearts
out.

Do we really want her to dance again?

I want you to keep these Gooberman twins
away from the pies.

Yes. If pies are missing, that could be
serious. We could run out of pies.

We're giving a free pie to anyone who
donates over $5. We are not stealing the

pies. Oh, don't you hand me that. I
smell meringue on your breath.

to this telephone. Oh, you are not going
to recite that cornball, the country

doctor. We'd get more dignity having
Robert Blake come out to show us his

hairball collection.

What? That's the name of that tune.

Reggie said I could do it.

I mean, why pay the man $15 ,000 as a
professional advisor and then not listen

to him?

Hey, my recitation is dynamite. Wait
till you see me rehearse it.

We are paying you $15 ,000.

For what?

Well, that's my fee for the telethon. I
have an ironclad contract with you

lovely people.

Reggie, isn't it a little out of the
ordinary to charge $15 ,000 to help a

crippled child?

Yes. I was going to charge $20 ,000, but
your cause touched my heart.

You old softy.

Maude, have you memorized that beautiful
speech I wrote for you? No, Reggie, I

might as well tell you I'm not going to
do it. I don't like it. It makes me

sound like a combination of Amy Semple
McPherson and the Kingfish. It's

I mean, that's how you get people to
give money for a kid in a wheelchair.

Make them feel guilty they can walk.

Shh, shh. I'll get a number.

Then here's feelings for you.

The country doctor, though stooped and
bent and gray of hair, the country

doctor's always there.

Through rain and sleet and blowing snow,
the country doctor's on the go.

Through swollen rivers, his horses swim
and when help is needed for pregnant

women.

He clicks the whip, the paster quicken,
though he knows he'll be paid with only

a chicken.

I'll say it was something. It's the
first time I've ever seen one horse's

followed by two horses for tooties.

Baby Sally said that since this is a
comedy, she has something that she

is funny.

What is that, dear?

What?

What is it, dear?

We've got one minute to air. You've got
to rehearse your pitch. Look, Reggie,

I... Please, Maude, please, just trust
me. I mean, you've got to do it at least

once before, you know, we go on the air,
all right?

Maude, make them feel that their money
will give you the power to bring about a

miracle. Here, now just stand right
here, right here. All right? Okay, go

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, fellow
Tuckahoyans, we are doing this telethon

for the benefit of one person, one tiny
little person.

who is a prisoner in a wheelchair, the
victim of a mysterious malady.

That's where the chorus comes in.

Her name is Baby Sally.

She is that lovely, talented, courageous
little child who has danced her way

into our hearts.

We can make enough money to send little
baby Sally to Switzerland where

specialists can put the magic back into
those little legs.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, with your
help.

year old boy in Tarrytown for $85.

He got the money from his daddy's
wallet.

Isn't that cute?

It's beautiful.

A child stealing from his parents to
help another child.

That's America to me.

All right. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we
have a rare film clip of

Baby Sally, before tragedy, struck at
her tap shoes.

I personally can't watch because it
tears my heart out.

Well,

what did I tell you? Almost eight grand
in pledges already.

Gee, what you're doing is deceitful.

Baby Sally is cured. We have to stop...
the show.

Obviously, the little girl couldn't walk
because she was suffering from an

hysterical paralysis.

Now, I have just examined her and she's
perfectly all right now.

You have got to stop this show or you'll
be guilty of taking money under false

pretenses. We all will. And I will have
no part of that. And I agree totally

with Arthur. But remember, I have a
contract with you lovely people.

Neither we raise that money through the
telethon or my $15 ,000 fee will have to

come out of your pockets.

On with the show!

Look at our thermometer. It tells me
that we've already received about $7

in pledges, and that is terrific.

And speaking of pledges and
thermometers, our next number is

with Carol Traynor and the girls. It's
guaranteed to make everybody's

temperature rise.

Never know how much I love you.

Never know how much I care.

When you put your arms around me, I get
a fever that's so hard to bear. You give

me fever.

Reggie, I know you have a trap with this
contract, but would you actually

perpetrate a fraud just to collect your
$15 ,000?

I'd do anything for $15 ,000.

Mark, I have an idea.

What? Well, you cured Baby Sally when
you were rehearsing your speech and you

said, dance, Baby Sally, dance.

Baby Sally jumped out of her wheelchair
and started to dance. You performed a

miracle. You had the power to get her
out of that wheelchair.

So... Maybe you have the power to put
her back in that wheelchair.

Well, she only has to be paralyzed until
the end of the show.

Vivian, have you been sniffing that
wheat germ again?

Just a second.

She's given me a better idea, Maude.

After we've raised enough money to pay
my fee, then we could... Well, you could

bring Baby Sally back out in the
wheelchair, do the same speech again,

she'll get up and dance, and then we'll
recreate...

The whole miracle on television. The
audience will think the telethon cured

Sally. That is disgusting. We do it all
the time on television.

It's called instant replay.

Oh, listen, there's your music. It's
time for you to sing to Baby Sally. All

right, all right. I'll do the song, but
we're going to talk about this later.

Here she is, ladies and gentlemen,
unable to get out of this wheelchair.

Though your heart is aching Smile Even
though it's breaking

When there are clouds In the sky

You'll get by If you smile Through

your tears and sorrow Smile And maybe
tomorrow

You'll see the sun Come shining through

for you light up your face with gladness

hide every trace of sadness although

a tear

see that life is still worthwhile if you
just

smile.

Light up your face with gladness.

Hide every trace of sadness.

Although a tear may be ever so near.

If you

just...

Did

you see the news?

We just passed the $15 ,000 mark. We've
collected my fee.

All right, now let's everyone get ready
for the finale. Maude, prepare to

recreate your miracle. Look, I will not
have anything to do with a phony

miracle. Well, then I'm just going to
have to sue you for every cent you got.

Wipe out your savings, put a lien on
your house. Not my house.

That's all I have.

It's lasted me through four husbands.

Maude, don't let him take away our
house.

Come on, the guy wants a miracle. Give
him a miracle.

I do. I can't.

Everyone.

Places for the phenomenal.

Well,

now that money is rolling in and the
pies are rolling out. And now, ladies

gentlemen, our entire ensemble tells you
what this telethon is all about.

You go home and get your scanties and
away we'll go.

Oh,

I'm going to shuffle, shuffle off the
buffalo.

No, don't ask me. I won't dance.

Don't ask me. I won't dance.

Madame.

a little closer please like a rose that
blows in every breeze

and he could collect his $15 ,000 fee.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is what

he gets in the name of sweet charity.

What? You are a dumb person. Television
has no place to be telling the truth.

was recorded on videotape before a
studio audience.