All language subtitles for maude_s06e07_the_doctor_s_strike

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.

She didn't care if the whole world
looked.

Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her.
She was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't
you glad she showed up?

The country was falling apart.

Betsy Ross got it all sold up.

And then there's Maude. And then there's
Maude. And then there's Maude. And then

there's Maude. And then there's Maude.
And then there's Maude.

That uncompromising, enterprising,
anything but tranquilizing. No, no, no.

Where, where, where? I know I put it
somewhere, but where did I put it?

Walter, why do you have to go back to
the store? Stay home.

Walter, are you crazy? It's the middle
of the day.

Walter, you are exhausted. Look, you're
all flushed. I'll bet you have a fever.

Lord, I am fine.

Walter, Walter, you have got to slow
down. Now, you are not eating. You are

sleeping. This is dangerous.

Well, you don't understand.

Working is my life. I love it. I need
it. It keeps me alive.

Nobody ever died from hard work.

Tell that to Kunta Kinte, Walter.

Walter, please, why can't you take the
afternoon off? It's just a sale.

It is not just a sale. It is my
anniversary sale.

Do you know how often I have an
anniversary sale?

Twice a year, top.

Walter, I'm on vacation. I told you I
can handle things down at the store for

you. No, I'm needed down there.

You don't know how much work there is in
an anniversary sale.

Really, Walter, how many people are
needed to blow up 20 balloons?

Walter. Walter, what are you looking
for?

The copy I wrote for my newspaper ad.

Maud, it was three o 'clock in the
morning, and I couldn't sleep, so I came

here, and I wrote the copy.

And here it is!

I found it!

Here's the ad I wrote.

Read it, Maud, and tell me what you
think.

Joe, I wish I'd read this last night. I
was having trouble sleeping myself.

Come on, Maud.

I mean, this is a very novel, offbeat
idea.

Hi. Hi, Maud. Hi, Walt. Hi. Hi, Carol.
Hi, everybody.

Viv, read this. This page first.

Five to go, five to go, five to go. Five
to go, huh?

Huh?

In the end game, that's what we call the
hook. It arouses your curiosity,

doesn't it? No.

Come on, Viv.

Admit it, you're dying to know what five
to go means.

I just say it means five days to go
until your sale.

You told them.

Walter, will you please stop this
craziness?

Carol, I want you to go down to the
store and tell them Walter won't be back

this afternoon. I've got to be back at
the store. The guy's coming at three o

'clock to give me a fitting on my clown
suit.

You're wearing a clown suit.

Leave it alone, Mother.

I talked him out of walking around with
an organ and a monkey.

The monkey's coming at four.

So I didn't talk him out of it.

Hello, everybody.

Boy, what a rotten day.

Arthur, would you please tell Maude what
kind of health I'm in?

Sure, old buddy. Come by my office
tomorrow. I'll give you a complete

You gave me a complete physical last
week.

I did?

Do you remember what I said was wrong
with you?

You said there wasn't anything wrong.

Really? There must be. You look awful.

You see, Arthur, he is working himself
to death. He's not even taking the time

to eat. I have begged him to slow down.

And he has a terrible time getting to
sleep.

He does? Yes, he's very restless.

Restless, is he? Yes, just tossing and
turning and thrashing around.

All night? All night!

Vivian. What?

May I ask you a question?

Sure, what?

How long have you been sleeping with
Walter?

Silly. I was just repeating what you
told me.

I don't have time for this. I've got to
finish my head.

Walter thinks he's got problems. He
should be a doctor.

It's getting so I dread going to the
hospital.

It's just no fun anymore.

What's wrong, Arthur? Some of the
patients getting cured?

No, no, no. Nothing like that.

It's just this controversy we're in over
a doctor's strike.

The doctors aren't thinking of going on
strike. It sure looks like it.

I just came from a meeting.

See, the doctors want the hospital to
put up the money to protect them against

malpractice suits. The stupid hospital
refuses.

But, I mean, they wouldn't actually go
out on strike. After the speech I just

made, they will.

Arthur, you?

Why not?

Nowadays, doctors are a fair game for
everybody.

Patients, lawyers, juries.

Believe me, with the constant threat of
malpractice hanging over your head, it's

getting so a surgeon is afraid to make a
mistake.

How can a doctor withhold medical help?
What about the Hippocratic Oath?

The what?

All that.

That's all hat.

Arthur, are you aware of the very
serious inconsistency here?

What do you mean?

I mean, here you are, Arthur, talking
about leading a doctor's strike.

You're the very man who has been against
union striking as long as I've known

you. As a matter of fact, you're the one
who said, if the immigrant farm workers

don't like it here, let them swim back
where they came from.

Now, wait a minute. Wait one minute.

Let me point out to you there's a great
deal of difference between doctors and

farm workers.

I have to agree.

I mean, nobody ever died from being
given the wrong head of lettuce.

Lunch is ready.

Oh, thank you, Victoria.

I hope Mr. Finley's going to eat. He'd
better. Walter!

Say, Maude, will you listen to this?

Mr. Finley is staying for lunch? Can't.
No time.

Maude, listen to this ad. I think...
Walter.

What? Hey. Walter, what is it? Nothing.

Nothing. Just a little dizzy. Must have
been thinking too much.

I always get a little dizzy when I think
too much. Is that possible?

Do you get dizzy from thinking too much?
Oh, yes. It happens to me all the time.

Now that we've ruled out that
possibility, what's wrong with him,

Well, let's find out. Viv, will you run
home and get that black bag I use for

house calls? Oh, sure, Arthur. Where is
it?

I don't know. I haven't used it for
years.

All right.

Walter, let's see what's wrong with you.

He feels feverish.

You feel feverish, Walter?

His pulse is very irregular.

Hmm.

Your pulse is very irregular.

Mr. Finley, you have a sore throat?

Victoria, you are a housekeeper.

Let's have Dr.

Harmon ask the question. Thank you,
Maude.

Walter, do you have a sore throat?

It's a little sore.

Dr. Harmon, in my opinion, Mr. Finley
shows early symptoms of glandular

infection. Open your mouth.

You show early symptoms of glandular
infection.

Okay, that's not serious, is it? Piece
of cake. Oh, good.

Unless, of course, you don't catch it in
time. Oh, yes. That can lead to high

temperatures. Yes.

Which, in turn, can lead to other
complications.

Now, Walter's already had one heart
attack.

Then, of course, there are respiratory
problems, double pneumonia, things like

that. I remember one horrible case. I
don't want to know.

Walter, I'll get you some juice. That's
a good idea, Marty. Get him some juice.

Thank you, Doctor.

Oh, uh, Victoria, is that all right with
you?

Yes, juice is good.

See? I was right.

Arthur, I can't be sick. I got a big
sale coming up in five days.

Don't worry, old buddy. I'll give you a
prescription. It'll fix you right up.

There's an old West Indian remedy I can
make for him.

Victoria, those old voodoo remedies are
pure hogwash. Dr. Harmon, I made... No

derogation of your medical acumen.

However, many pharmacologists do
acknowledge ancient elixirs as

restoratives.

Victoria, stop talking like an ignorant
woman.

Tetracycline's the only thing that
knocks out this bug.

Don't worry, Walter, this prescription
will fix you right up. I'm sure it will,

Doctor.

But just in case, I'll go out in the
backyard and look for frogs.

Here you are, sweetheart.

Oh, Lord, I feel terrible.

Listen, Arthur, are you sure that Walter
shouldn't go to a hospital?

Well, with their attitude toward
doctors, I'd see him dead first.

Hold that thought.

Oh,

Hubie. Dr.

Bindermord, I'm here on official
business.

Arthur, Arthur.

Hubie, what's up? I just delivered our
demand to Mr. Hendricks, the head

administrator at the hospital.

Good. What did he do?

He laughed.

What did you do?

I laughed. He has a very infectious
laugh.

Hubie, when does he want to meet and
start negotiating?

Never. He turned it down cold.

He thinks we're bluffing. We aren't.

Are we?

You are the head of the disciplinary
committee, doctor.

It's your job to see that no doctor
provides any medical service whatsoever

unless it's an absolute emergency.

You understand, doctor? You can count on
me, doctor. Well, you two stop playing

doctor.

Now, Walter needs that prescription.

Oh, yeah.

What prescription?

It's a prescription for Walter. He's
coming down with a glandular infection.

Arthur! Hubie, what are you doing?

Arthur, the strike started when Mr.
Hendricks turned us down. Will you stop

being so technical?

Walter is Arthur's closest friend.

Arthur, you're head of the strike
committee. You know the rules.

You'd be performing a medical service.

This is an emergency. Will you stop
being so silly?

Maud. Hubie.

Arthur.

If one doctor breaks the rules, it will
kill the strike.

He's my best friend.

Think of all the money we're going to
lose.

Walter, will you relax? I want to take
your temperature.

You just took my temperature. No, I
didn't. Yes, you did, Maud. You've been

taking my temperature all day long.

All right. If I've been taking your
temperature all day long, what is it?

I don't know. You won't tell me. Then
let's find out.

Will you stop, Maud? You're driving me
crazy. Sorry. I'm sorry, darling. It's

just that I'm so concerned about you.
Walter, you've been lying here for three

days now. If anything, you're worse.

Who knows when that dumb doctor strike
is going to end. It's spreading all over

the county. Don't worry, Mort. If I get
much sicker, Arthur will forget about

the strike and take care of me.

I mean, Arthur wouldn't let me down,
would he? Of course Arthur wouldn't let

down. I mean, Arthur's been my best
friend for 30 years.

He wouldn't let me die for a few
dollars.

I'll get you some more juice.

Okay, Walter, I'm on my way to the
store.

Did you put the markdown tags on the
merchandise?

Yes. Did you blow up all the balloons?

Yes.

Did any of them break?

Only three.

I shouldn't have bought seconds.

Walter, will you trust me? Everything is
fine.

What about Sullivan?

I mean, he's been a great sales manager
for 20 years, but you've got to keep on

him all the time.

Now, tell me the truth, Carol.

Has he been on the ball?

Because if he's not on the ball, we'd
fire him just like that.

You don't have to fire Sullivan.

He's on the ball?

No, he quit.

He quit?

The sale is two days away and he walked
out? How could he do that to me? Walter,

you were driving him crazy calling him
every five minutes.

He said to me, Carol, if Walter calls me
one more time, I'm going to quit.

That's when the phone rang.

I don't know how we can get him back.

Sullivan has two weaknesses.

Booze and broads.

I'll buy him a bottle and you can...
Walter!

I thought you might have a friend.

All right, Walter, that's enough work.

Listen, I've got to get back. Now, trust
me, everything is fine.

Carol, for some reason, I don't believe
you.

All right, I lied.

We broke four balloons.

I could tell in her eyes she was lying.

Bye, Arthur!

Walter? Arthur, you're here.

I have to be careful who sees me.
Walter?

I just snuck over here to show you that
in spite of this doctor's strike, you're

still my best friend.

What? What'd I tell you? I'm here to let
you know how concerned I am. Arthur's

gonna make me better. No, I can't do
that. I'm just here to show you how

concerned I am.

Arthur, how can you call yourself
concerned when your best friend is lying

in agony?

Please, Arthur, give him some medicine.
We won't tell anyone. No one will know.

Maude, can't you understand we're
fighting for a cause here?

The right to practice medicine without
fear.

If we can accomplish that, we'll be
better doctors.

You'll get better medical care.

So, if we don't treat the sick people
now, the entire community can benefit

later. Yes, if there were any of us
left.

Arthur, how can you be so heartless?

Heartless? Maude, I am on strike for the
good of the people.

I became a doctor because I want to help
people. I care for people. I love

people. If people can't see that, then
to hell with them.

That's beautiful, Arthur.

Why don't you give it to Anita Bryant
for her Easter outfit?

You're not in a very good mood, are you,
Martin?

Of course I am not in a very good mood.
My husband has been lying here with a

fever for three days now. He is sick,
Arthur. He is miserable.

And he's worried to death about his
anniversary sale, which he will not be

to go to now, thanks to you.

Carol and Sullivan can handle the sale.
They don't need you, Walter. Yes, they

do. Nobody else looks good in the clown
suit.

Walter. And I'm the only one the monkey
likes.

You are not ha... Stopping, Walter!

Okay.

Arthur, I'm your best friend.

Help me.

Arthur, we go back 34 years.

We were in the Army together. Oh,
Walter, don't, don't. Please don't. You

go to pieces when we talk about the old
Army days.

Arthur, remember when we used to leave
the post and go in for a couple of beers

and sit up all night singing?

The biscuits in the Army, they say are
mighty fine.

One rolled off the table and killed a
pal of mine.

I don't want no more of army life.

Gee, Mom, I want to go home.

Oh, those were the good old days, buddy.

See, Arthur, I'm your best friend.

Yeah, sure.

I know that, buddy.

And because you are my best friend,
Walter, I think you understand why you

to stay sick.

Arthur Harmon, you get out of my house!
You're no friend of Walter's.

No friend of Walter's? Don't be
ridiculous. We go back to the army

Didn't you just hear me singing?

Yes, you're no friend of music either.

Now look here, Mrs. Spindley. I don't
think it's for you, a relative stranger,

to say that I'm no friend of Walter's.

That's for Walter to say.

Go ahead, Walter. Tell her. You're no
friend of mine.

Oh, okay.

So, that's it for friendship.

34 years, right down the drain.

My father always told me, never make
friends in the army.

Okay.

You know, the trouble with you, Walter,
is you're like all the rest of the sick

people in this town.

All you ever think of is yourselves.

Maude. Maude, are we wrong?

Honey, of course we're not wrong.

Now, sweetheart, I want you to lie back
and relax because I do have a little bit

of good news for you, at least. It's
going to make you feel much better.

that? Well, we have some new medicine
for you.

Victoria got lucky and caught a frog
this morning.

I thought you were cleaning the
basement.

That's all right. You can clean it
later.

Right now, I need your strength.

You won't believe this.

I've just been over to the Finley.

A friendship of 34 years has just been
ground into the dust.

And you know why, Vivian?

Why did Walter think I'm responsible for
his condition?

I mean, who is the person you know most
alert to other people's discomforts?

I mean, who is the person you know most
sensitive to human suffering?

Arthur. That's right, Arthur.

I am the most sensitive person I know.

Ah, Vivian, I know you. I'm sure you'll
probably side with Maude and Walter.

But I'm sure you haven't the slightest
idea how important this doctor strike

Not only for me, but for the entire
community.

Arthur, I'm sick.

No, Vivian, you're not sick. Just
misguided.

No, I'm sick.

Phil, I think I have glandular
infection.

Oh, 102?

Vivian, you should be in bed. You need
some medicine.

Medicine. Tetracycline. Luckily, I have
two free samples right here. Oh, no, no,

no medicine.

No medicine?

I insist on standing behind you in this
strike.

But, Vivian.

You're my wife.

You're probably closer to me than most
of the people I know.

I don't care how sick I get.

I don't care if I die a horrible death.

Like that woman you told me about whose
tongue turned black and it all shriveled

up. Vivian!

Well, that does it. I'm going to give
you this shot right now.

But won't this compromise your integrity
as a labor leader?

A labor leader?

Me?

Oh, that sounds so sweaty.

Vivian, this isn't a labor strike.

It isn't? What kind of strike? No, this
is a doctor's strike.

I mean, we don't have picket lines. We
don't have doctors with baseball bats

turning over hospital beds.

We're simply all getting together and
not treating sick people.

That's all. We're just... Holy mackerel.

Did you hear what I just said?

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I wasn't
listening.

I said we're not treating sick people.

Oh, Vivian, I just remembered my oath as
a doctor.

How in the world could I be on strike?

Oh, no. No, a doctor is a servant of the
people.

These hands hold a sacred
responsibility.

These hands hold the precious lives of
our patients, our stockbrokers, the

managers of our apartment houses.

No, Vivian, I'm going to give you that
shot right now, and I'm going to go

across and give Walter the other one.
What if Hubie Binder finds out?

The devil takes Hubie Binder!

Remember, Vivian, I have to live with
myself.

I just think you're wonderful.

I could just kiss you.

Not till after the shot.

Okay? Okay.

I don't know if you guys are in the mood
to appreciate this, but the doctor

strike is going great.

Hubie, it's always nice to hear good
news.

The big thing is we're all united.

There isn't one doctor practicing
medicine, and you gotta give him credit,

because some of these sick people could
tear your heart out.

I guess that God gives doctors extra
strength at times like this.

I like to think so.

Oh, hello, Hubie.

Shut your eyes, doctor. I'm making a
house call. Oh, bless you. I knew I

count on you.

Mort, call the store!

Don't let him cancel the monkey!

All right, Walter, you lucky duck. This
is the last shot of this medicine I

have. Arthur, I'm shocked.

What are you doing?

He'll be trying to understand.

We have the God -given gift to heal.

If we withhold that gift, we don't
deserve the right to call ourselves

If we withhold that gift, we're no
better than dentists.

Think about that.

All right, Walter.

Richard T., come on up.

Hubie, I hope you're not going to turn
Arthur in for this.

Uh, I get not that.

Because under the circumstances,
blackballing Dr.

Arthur Harmon would be like blackballing
Dr.

Albert Schweitzer.

Dr. Schweitzer?

Has he been scabbing, too?

Only with pygmies.

There you go! There you go, Walter, old
buddy. That's going to make you feel a

lot better. Thanks, you old son of a
gun. And, Arthur, that shot's going to

you feel a lot better, too. That's
right, bud.

You know... Oh!

Suddenly I feel a little dizzy.

I'm feverish.

Oh, Arthur, you're not coming down with
it, too.

I shouldn't have kissed Vivian.

Damn! I swear that's the last time I'm
going to kiss that woman.

My throat. Hubie, you got any
tetracycline in your bag?

Quick. Gee, Arthur, I'm a foot doctor.
All I've got in my bag are Dr. Scholl's

odor eaters.

Arthur, never you mind. We're going to
take care of you. You just come right

out. Walter.

I don't have any medicine.

I'm getting sick.

Sickness terrifies me.

Never mind.

Victoria!

videotape before a studio audience.