All language subtitles for The Big C S02E10 How Do You Feel 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:11,011     - I DON'T CONDONE STEALING.      2 00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,479  - HERE IS YOUR   PIECE OF THE ACTION.  3 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,613  - THIS ISN'T BAD.  4 00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:15,348  - SHE'S DEALING   WITH A MISCARRIAGE.  5 00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,017  YOU WENT OFF YOUR MEDS?  6 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,651      - MM, YEAH. I'M NOT GONNA       GO THROUGH THIS DOPED UP.  7 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,053  - WE MET ONLINE.   - WHAT?  8 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,088      - AT A CHAT ROOM FOR KIDS     WITH PARENTS WHO HAVE CANCER.     9 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,990  - YOU HAVE CANCER.       - NO, SILLY, I'M THE KID.  10 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,158      - WAIT, ARE YOU LEAVING?  11 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,793     - I'M GOING BACK TO CHICAGO       FOR A BIT.  12 00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:28,428  - I DON'T NEED   YOUR FUCKING PITY.  13 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:29,529    - I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU.     14 00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:31,131    - THOSE DRUGS ARE NOT A CURE.     15 00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:34,401  THE BEST THAT YOU CAN HOPE FOR      IS A LITTLE MORE TIME.  16 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,178  [Leftover Cuties'   Game Called Life]  17 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,647  - ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪  18 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:52,218     ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪  19 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,889  ♪ STEP OUT ♪  20 00:00:55,922 --> 00:01:00,693      ♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪  21 00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:06,466  ♪ IS THIS   SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪  22 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:11,304  ♪ WILL SOMEONE   WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪  23 00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:16,643     ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST       A GAME WE PLAY ♪  24 00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:22,682  ♪ CALLED LIFE ♪  25 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:32,559  [car beeps]  26 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,860  - HEY!  27 00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:36,362  - HEY. YOU GONNA HIT ME   WITH YOUR CAR AGAIN?  28 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:40,700  [breathing heavily]  29 00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:44,671    - WANT SOME LEFTOVER TURKEY?      30 00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:46,639  - [wheezes]  31 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,208  - ARE YOU OKAY?  32 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,110  - YEAH. IT ONLY HURTS   WHEN I BREATHE.  33 00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:53,179  - SHIT, LEE.  34 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,547      YOU SHOULDN'T BE RUNNING.  35 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:56,716      - WELL, THESE MARATHONS,   THEY DON'T TRAIN FOR THEMSELVES.  36 00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,384  [laughs]   [coughs]  37 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:01,454      - I'M SORRY I LIED TO YOU   AT THANKSGIVING.  38 00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:04,390  - WELL,       THE JERK GOES BOTH WAYS.  39 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,192  I SAID      SOME REALLY SHITTY THINGS.  40 00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:07,994  THAT'S WHY I DON'T FORM   ATTACHMENTS.  41 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,629  IT'S PARTLY   BECAUSE I'M BUDDHIST,  42 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,131  IT'S PARTLY BECAUSE      I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT THEM.  43 00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:15,235  - YOU SAID SOME TRUTHS   THAT WERE HARD TO HEAR.  44 00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,769  IT'S WHY I LIKE YOU.  45 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,371  - YOU LIKE ME BECAUSE YOU NEED      A CANCER FRIEND.  46 00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:20,607      - ARE WE FIGHTING AGAIN?   'CAUSE I'LL GO THERE.  47 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,142      - I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT.  48 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:25,411      - I MISS TALKING TO YOU.  49 00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:30,216  SURE YOU DON'T WANT   SOME TURKEY?  50 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:35,221  - OH, GIVE ME THAT.   [coughs]  51 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:42,128  - OH! HONEY,       I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.  52 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,963  - CLEARLY   IT'S NOT A VEGETABLE,  53 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,331  SINCE I DON'T   SEE ANY ON YOUR PLATE.  54 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,033  - I HAVE 30 MINUTES FOR LUNCH.     55 00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:48,301  YOU CAN'T BE FAST AND HEALTHY.     56 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,270    IT'S NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.     57 00:02:58,378 --> 00:02:59,812  - A SCALE?  58 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,648  - MM-HMM. IT'S      A BODY COMPOSITION MONITOR.      59 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,017  - SO A FANCY SCALE?  60 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,018  - MMM.   - YOU TRYIN'  61 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:06,252  TO TELL ME SOMETHING?  62 00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:07,487      'CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU HAD   LEARNED YOUR LESSON  63 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,189      WHEN YOU GAVE ME THE IRON   FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY.  64 00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,925    - SIXTH ANNIVERSARY IS IRON.      65 00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:14,027  I WAS BEING CUTE.   AND "IRON-IC."  66 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,562  - [laughs]   - ANYWAY, REMEMBER  67 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:18,298  HOW DR. SHERMAN SAID      IT WAS VERY, VERY IMPORTANT      68 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:20,333  TO CLOSELY MONITOR YOUR HEALTH?    69 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,302  THIS BABY DOES IT ALL.  70 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:25,038     IN ADDITION TO YOUR WEIGHT,         IT GIVES YOU YOUR BONE MASS,      71 00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:28,141  YOUR VISCERAL WEIGHT,   AND YOUR METABOLIC AGE.  72 00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:30,643  - [laughing]   WHAT'S METABOLIC AGE?  73 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,045     - THAT'S WHEN YOU FACTOR IN       ALL THE OTHER STUFF,  74 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:34,113  IT TELLS YOU HOW OLD   YOUR BODY ACTUALLY IS.  75 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,516  - OH, SHIT.  76 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:43,790  HEY.  77 00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:46,025  - OH, HEY.      YOU LOOKIN' FOR BABY STUFF?      78 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,760  EVERYTHING'S AVAILABLE.  79 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:49,495  UH, EXCEPT   THE INFANT BABY WIPES.  80 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,831  THOSE STAY.   THOSE GEMS ARE LIKE  81 00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:53,967  A DEEP, WET TONGUE KISS   ON MY HEMORRHOIDS.  82 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,935  - HOW YA DOIN'?  83 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:56,936  I KNOW THIS IS   A LOT TO TAKE IN.  84 00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,340  - [hums]   NO, IT'S ALL GOOD.  85 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,308  YEAH.   UM, I'VE GOT A PLAN.  86 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:03,810  I'M THINKING ABOUT   TURNING THE BABY'S ROOM  87 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:05,945     INTO A HYDROPONIC POT DEN.  88 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,213  HELLO.  89 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,816    - UH, MIKE, THIS IS MY WIFE,           DAWN, AND THIS IS JANIE,  90 00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:10,917  MY LITTLE GIRL.  91 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:12,385  - AW.  92 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,354  WELL, COME ON IN!  93 00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:15,455  UH, LOOK, CATHY.  94 00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,724     A HAPPY FAMILY IN MY HOME.  95 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,359     UH, IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE.  96 00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:21,828  - WE JUST MOVED IN.   OUR BACK YARDS ABUT EACH OTHER.    97 00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:24,063  - I GUESS THAT MAKES US   ABUT-BUDDIES.  98 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,365  - [chuckles]  99 00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:27,533      I--I'M CATHY. THIS IS MY   BROTHER, SEAN.  100 00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,769  UH, IF YOU COULD USE   ANY OF THE STUFF,  101 00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:31,304  WE'D LOVE TO SEE IT   GO TO A GOOD HOME.  102 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:32,572  - IT'S ALL   IN REALLY GOOD SHAPE.  103 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,840  - MM, IT SURE IS.  104 00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:36,009  I WAS IN THE MARKET FOR A BABY,         BUT THEN I DID THE MATH.  105 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:38,578  DID YOU KNOW THAT     THE FEDERAL CHILD TAX CREDIT      106 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,713    DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO OFFSET         THE PRICE OF AN ACTUAL CHILD?     107 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,915  SO THERE'S DEFINITELY   NO PROFIT IN IT.  108 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,350  [baby cries]  109 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:47,654    ARE YOU, UH, ARE YOU PLANNING        ON DOING SOMETHING WITH HER?      110 00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,023    - SHE'S JUST A LITTLE FUSSY,       OR SHE'S TIRED.  111 00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:51,291  - OR GASSY, OR WET,  112 00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,526  OR GETTING SICK.       IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.  113 00:04:53,559 --> 00:04:56,129  SHE CRIES A LOT.   - MMM, SHE'S A BABY.  114 00:04:56,162 --> 00:04:58,965  THAT'S WHAT BABIES DO.   CRY AND MANIPULATE.  115 00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:00,900  THEY'RE MACHIAVELLIAN   LITTLE SHITS.  116 00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,935  - YOU MIND NOT SWEARING   IN FRONT OF JANIE?  117 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,971  - SERIOUSLY?   - SEAN. SORRY.  118 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:08,207  - LOOK, LADY,     ALTHOUGH YOUR BABY CAN HEAR,      119 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,876  SHE WON'T BE ABLE   TO BE OFFENDED  120 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:12,679  UNTIL SOCIETY TELLS HER   WHAT TO BE OFFENDED BY.  121 00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:15,748  PRESENTLY THOSE THINGS INCLUDE,     UM, GAY MEN KISSING,  122 00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,283  BODY ODOR,  123 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:21,387  AND THE FEMALE NIPPLE.  124 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:24,057      - HE'S BEEN GOING THROUGH   A REALLY ROUGH TIME.  125 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,025  IF YOU WOULD LIKE     ANY OF THIS STUFF, PLEASE...      126 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,860  PLEASE TAKE IT.  127 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:28,895  - THANKS.  128 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:30,897  UH, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.  129 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,463  - I HAVE, LIKE,     SIX SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES.      130 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:08,901  TEAM SUGAR, MYSPACE,     FACEBOOK, BEBO, AND TWITTER.      131 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:11,704     ALTHOUGH I MAINLY USE THAT   TO PROMOTE MY BLOG.  132 00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,373     - OH YEAH, I THINK--I THINK           I'VE HEARD OF YOUR BLOG.  133 00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:15,441  UH, WHAT'S IT CALLED?  134 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,845  I'M A--I'M A       HIPSTER FUCKTARD DOT COM?  135 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:19,946  OH!  136 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:21,280  [laughter]  137 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,015  - OW, YOU HIT MY BOOB.  138 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,551     - I NEED A MAGNIFYING GLASS       TO FIND THAT THING.  139 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:27,053  - SCREW YOU.   - HELLO.  140 00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:28,955  - WHAT'S UP, MOM?  141 00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:29,989  - HI, MRS. JAMISON.  142 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,357  - POPPY.  143 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,394  WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT   THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, HERE.    144 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:38,197    UH, YOU AND ADAM HANGING OUT,      IT'S ODD. RIGHT?  145 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,799  - HOW DO YOU MEAN?  146 00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:42,935  - WELL, HE'S 15,  147 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:44,737  AND YOU'RE CLOSER TO MENOPAUSE      THAN PUBERTY.  148 00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,372  SO JUST TELL ME THERE'S     NOTHING SEXUAL GOING ON HERE.     149 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,508     - OH, JESUS, MOM, COME ON.   REALLY?  150 00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,810  - IT HAPPENS, ADAM.  151 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,745    AND YOUR RECENT TRACK RECORD       OF DECISION-MAKING  152 00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:54,714    HASN'T INSTILLED CONFIDENCE.      153 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,149  - ADAM'S JUST A KID,   MRS. JAMISON, WE'RE JUST, LIKE,    154 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,017  HANGING OUT,   'CAUSE WE'RE, LIKE,  155 00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:01,053  GOING THROUGH A LOT OF   THE SAME STUFF.  156 00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:06,492  - OKAY.  157 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,561  FAIR WARNING,  158 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,931  YOU HURT MY KID,   I WILL HURT YOU.  159 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,900     AND I AM NOT ABOVE SPITTING       OR HAIR-PULLING.  160 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:19,639  HMM.  161 00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:27,447  - I GOTTA GO.  162 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,883  OH! I HAVE A SURPRISE   FOR YOU TOMORROW.  163 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,118  I'M GONNA PICK YOU UP   AT 5:00.  164 00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:33,719      AND WEAR SOMETHING NICE,   OKAY?  165 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:36,722  - OKAY.  166 00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:39,091  - HEY!  167 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,893  - HI.       - HI, I WASN'T EXPECTING  168 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,495  TO SEE YOU HERE TODAY.  169 00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,664  - UM, YEAH,     DR. SHERMAN WANTED TO SEE ME.     170 00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:45,965  [laughing]   I FELT LIKE I WAS BEING CALLED     171 00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:48,267    INTO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.      172 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,669  - SOMETIMES THAT CAN BE   A GOOD THING.  173 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:50,970    YOU MIGHT BE GIVEN AN AWARD.      174 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:54,640  - I GOT THE AWARD     FOR MOST TUMORS IN THE TRIAL.     175 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,542  GOT MY SCAN RESULTS.  176 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:59,545  THEY TAKE A BEATING,       BUT THEY KEEP ON GROWING.  177 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:00,880  - OH, LEE.  178 00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,582  - DIDN'T GET A TROPHY,   WHICH BLOWS.  179 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:05,284  SHERMAN WANTS ME   TO STAY IN THE TRIAL,  180 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,120  BUT I--I THINK THAT'S       A PITY MOVE ON HIS PART.  181 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,589  - I'M SORRY.  182 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:12,592  - HOW 'BOUT YOU?  183 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:13,926  HOW ARE YOUR SCANS?  184 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:18,865  - UH, THEY'RE GOOD.  185 00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,300      MY TUMORS ARE SHRINKING.  186 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,336  - THE TRIAL'S WORKING FOR YOU,      THAT'S GREAT, CATHY.  187 00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:26,772  IT MAKES MY SHITTY NEWS   EASIER TO SWALLOW.  188 00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,174     HEY, THINGS COULD BE WORSE,       YOU KNOW?  189 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,877  I'M ALIVE,   AND I JUST GOT A LEAD  190 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:33,012  ON AN OLD-FASHIONED      BURGER AND MALT JOINT, SO--      191 00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:34,447  - HOW DO YOU DO THAT?  192 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,916  HOW DO YOU DO THE WHOLE   WATER-OFF-A-DUCK'S-BACK THING?     193 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:41,554  - YOU HAVE TO FOCUS ON THE GOOD       THINGS THAT MELANOMA BRINGS.      194 00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:44,490  WELL, THE PEOP THAT WE'VE MET,      AND--[clears throat]  195 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,425     THE THINGS THAT WE'VE DONE,       AND THE PLACES THAT WE'VE BEEN.    196 00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,895      - I KEEP FOCUSING ON ALL   THE STUFF I'LL NEVER GET TO DO.    197 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:52,632  - [laughs]   GLASS HALF EMPTY.  198 00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:55,134     THAT'S NO WAY TO WHILE AWAY       YOUR REMAINING HOURS.  199 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:58,037  I--I STILL HAVE   A VERY LONG TO-DO LIST.  200 00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:01,274  I NEED TO RIDE ON       THE BACK OF A FIRE TRUCK.  201 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:06,979  AND GET MY HANDS ON A BOTTLE OF     1982 LAFITE ROTHSCHILD  202 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,314  AND, JUDGE IF YOU WANT,  203 00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:11,384  BUT I WOULD STILL LIKE TO HAVE      MORE ADVENTUROUS SEX.  204 00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:12,552  WITH A MAN.  205 00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:14,887  - MORE ADVENTUROUS.  206 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:17,123     YOU HAVE SEX WITH STRANGERS       IN THE BACK OF BARS.  207 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,825  - YEAH.   WELL, IT GETS OLD.  208 00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:22,495  - CATHY JAMISON?   - BLOOD TEST.  209 00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:24,664  - GOOD LUCK.  210 00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,766  HEY, I HEAR   THAT THEY'RE GIVING OUT RIBBONS    211 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,569  FOR GOOD WHITE BLOOD CELL COUNT.  212 00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:33,005  - [sighs]  213 00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:43,950      - WHY ARE WE AT A HOTEL?  214 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:47,219  THIS ISN'T SOME DUSTIN HOFFMAN,        MRS. ROBINSON THING, IS IT?      215 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,822  - WOW, I'M SURPRISED     YOU EVEN KNOW THAT REFERENCE.     216 00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:52,725     - YEAH, I OVERHEARD MY MOM   SAY IT TO MY DAD.  217 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:56,128  - DON'T BE SUCH A DORK,   YOU'RE SO NOT MY TYPE.  218 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,500  - WAIT, UH, IS THIS       YOUR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION?  219 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,035  - SURPRISE!  220 00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,904  - OKAY.   KINDA WEIRD.  221 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,940  - PLEASE, WE WENT TO      A FETUS FUNERAL LAST WEEK.  222 00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,109  A HIGH SCHOOL REUNION,   BY COMPARISON,  223 00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,911  IS DECIDEDLY NOT WEIRD.  224 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:21,554  - ARE YOU OKAY?  225 00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:24,423  - YEAH, IT'S JUST   ALL THESE NAMES.  226 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,125     I'M HAVING A BAD FLASHBACK.      227 00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:27,994    PEOPLE KIND OF MADE FUN OF ME      BACK THEN.  228 00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:29,996    I WORE A SHERLOCK HOLMES HAT,      WHATEVER.  229 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,732  SO I TOLD MYSELF      THAT I HAD TO COME TONIGHT,      230 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,634  TO SHOW THEM   THAT I'M NOT THE LOSER  231 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:35,868  THEY ALL THOUGHT I WAS.  232 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:37,737  - [sighs]       - LOOK, YOU WANT TO BAIL?  233 00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:42,208  FINE, BAIL.     I CAN HANDLE THIS ON MY OWN.      234 00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:48,981  NO, IT'S COOL, I'LL--   I'LL STAY.  235 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,450  - WELCOME.  236 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:55,054  ADAM LEDOUCHE.  237 00:10:58,858 --> 00:10:59,959  [family outside sings   Pop Goes The Weasel]  238 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:00,993  - ♪ ALL AROUND   THE MULBERRY BUSH ♪  239 00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:02,595  ♪ THE MONKEY CHASED THE WEASEL ♪  240 00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:04,530  ♪ THE MONKEY THOUGHT   'TWAS ALL IN FUN ♪  241 00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,899      ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪  242 00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:09,168  [baby laughs]  243 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,070  - [sighs]  244 00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:13,205  ♪ ALL AROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH ♪  245 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,041  ♪ THE MONKEY CHASED THE WEASEL ♪  246 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,410  ♪ THE MONKEY THOUGHT   'TWAS ALL IN FUN ♪  247 00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:19,812      ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪  248 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,480  [baby cries]  249 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,149  ♪ ALL AROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH ♪  250 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,117  ♪ THE MONKEY CHASED THE WEASEL ♪  251 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,286  ♪ THE MONKEY THOUGHT   'TWAS ALL IN FUN ♪  252 00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,255      ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪   [baby cries]  253 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:32,224     - ♪ FUCK! GOES THE WEASEL ♪      254 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:38,264  [baby cries]  255 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,969      - HONEY, WHAT DO YOU WANT   YOUR NAME TO BE?  256 00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:47,573    - I'M KINDA PARTIAL TO CATHY.      - NO, NO, NO.  257 00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:50,076  THIS SCALE LETS YOU   CREATE PROFILE NAMES.  258 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:52,311  SO THAT WHEN YOU   STEP ON THE SCALE,  259 00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:55,448  A VOICE SAYS,     "HELLO, SVEN, WELCOME BACK."      260 00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:56,782  MY PROFILE NAME'S   GONNA BE SVEN.  261 00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:58,384  'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,   THE NORDICS  262 00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:02,288     ARE TALL AND THIN. AND THAT          PUTS ME HALFWAY TO SVELTE.  263 00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:03,355  - MAKE MINE "GOOD-BYE."  264 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,458  - GOOD-BYE?  265 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:06,959  WHY?   - I DON'T KNOW.  266 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:08,160  I THINK IT MIGHT BE FUN   TO HEAR IT SAY,  267 00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:09,695  "HELLO, GOOD-BYE,   WELCOME BACK."  268 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,696  - "GOOD-BYE" IT IS.  269 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,964  [knock knock]  270 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,365  JESUS CHR--  271 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,134  YOU SCARED THE SHIT   OUT OF ME.  272 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,436  - WELL, I GOT A WHOLE STACK OF      CLOTH DIAPERS OVER AT THE HOUSE,  273 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,472  JUST WAITIN'   TO MOP UP SOME POO.  274 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,640  THEY'RE ALL YOURS.  275 00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,411      - SEAN, WHAT DO YOU NEED?   - EARPLUGS.  276 00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:27,780      OR--OR, UH, COTTON BALLS,  277 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:30,049  OR, IF YOU DON'T HAVE   EITHER OF THOSE, UH,  278 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,584      AN ICE PICK MIGHT DO IT.  279 00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:34,320    JUST SOMETHING TO KEEP SOUND         FROM PENETRATING MY EARDRUMS.     280 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,088  - WHAT DO YOU NEED EARPLUGS FOR,   BUDDY?  281 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,657      - IT'S THAT FUCKING BABY.  282 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,292  SH--SHE--SHE GIGGLES,  283 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:43,362  SHE CRIES. HER PARENTS       ARE OUT THERE RIGHT NOW,  284 00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:47,233  ROCKIN' OUT WITH THEIR COCKS OUT   TO THIS--THIS, THIS...  285 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,102  KIDDIE MUSIC.      IT'S BORING INTO MY BRAIN.  286 00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:52,738  - SEAN,   JUST TAKE A BREATH.  287 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,908    YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU--WHEN YOU          GET LIKE THIS I GET SCARED.      288 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,310    MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT           GOING BACK ON YOUR MEDS.  289 00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:01,647  - OH, NO. NO, NO.   UM, I JUST NEED, UH,  290 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,115  I NEED SOMETHING   TO BLOCK OUT THE NOISE.  291 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,683    MAYBE I'LL GO TO A DRUGSTORE.      DO THEY SELL EARPLUGS?  292 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,485  THEY MUST.  293 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,187  HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK THEY COST?     CAN I BORROW A LITTLE MONEY?      294 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,688  - SEAN.  295 00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:12,191  - UH--   [sighs]  296 00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:18,130  I'M SORRY.   I'M FINE.  297 00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:23,502  I KNOW YOU'RE WORRIED,   BUT I'M FINE.  298 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,111  [techno music]  299 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:33,179  ♪ ♪  300 00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:35,047    - I FEEL LIKE I'M AT A PARTY      301 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,549  WITH A BUNCH OF   MY PARENTS' FRIENDS.  302 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,450      DON'T YOU WANT TO, LIKE,   TALK TO PEOPLE?  303 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:41,520  - I DON'T KNOW.  304 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,656  I ALREADY SEE      THE NATALIE CLIQUE FORMING.      305 00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,558     THEY'RE ALL NAMED NATALIE.  306 00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:47,493    NATALIES ARE ALWAYS BITCHES.      307 00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:48,828  MAYBE THIS WASN'T   SUCH A GOOD IDEA.  308 00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:49,829  [squeals]  309 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,664  - POPPY KOWALSKI!  310 00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:53,732  OH, MY GOD,   IT IS YOU!  311 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:56,669  I TOLD YOU IT WAS HER.   HOW ARE YOU?  312 00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:58,237  NATALIE PIOUS,   NATALIE SCOTT.  313 00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:00,372  - I'M GOOD,   HOW ARE YOU GUYS?  314 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,074  - REALLY GOOD.  315 00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:04,210     UH, THESE ARE OUR HUSBANDS,       JEFF AND DAN.  316 00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:06,879  POPPY WAS THE GIRL   I TOLD YOU ABOUT,  317 00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:09,114  WHO WORE A CAPE      ALL THROUGH FRESHMAN YEAR.  318 00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,517  - SOME TRENDS   NEVER REALLY TAKE OFF.  319 00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:13,819  - I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU     WITHOUT GOTH MAKEUP.  320 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:18,557  SO WHAT DO YOU DO?  321 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,861  - SHE DIRECTS   DOCUMENTARY FILMS.  322 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:22,928  - OH, IS THIS YOUR SON?  323 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,029  - I ALWAYS THOUGHT   YOU WERE GAY.  324 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,665  - I'M ADAM,   POPPY'S BOYFRIEND.  325 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,933  I'M 21.  326 00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:30,502  - YEAH, I--I KINDA GOT TIRED OF     DATING GUYS OUR AGE.  327 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,805  BALD AND PAUNCHY JUST   WASN'T DOIN' IT FOR ME.  328 00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:35,474  NO OFFENSE.  329 00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:36,976  - AND WHAT DO YOU DO   FOR A LIVING, ADAM?  330 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,845     - I, UH, CREATE AND LAUNCH   NEW MEDIA PROJECTS.  331 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,014    LIKE SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES,      ENTERTAINMENT PORTALS,  332 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,048  GAMING SITES,  333 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,717  STUFF LIKE THAT.  334 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:46,619  - THAT IS SUCH   A YOUNG MAN'S GAME.  335 00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:49,154    - YEAH, WELL IF YOU OLD DUDES      ARE JUST GONNA SIT BACK  336 00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:50,723  AND LET US   STEAL ALL YOUR MONEY,  337 00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:52,458  YOU KNOW, I'M--   I'M MORE THAN HAPPY TO TAKE IT.    338 00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:54,260  [laughter]  339 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:55,661  - WOW,  340 00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:57,429  POPPY, YOU'VE REALLY      MADE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF.      341 00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,731  AND ALL THIS  342 00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:01,467    FROM THE GIRL WHO PLAYED FOLK      MUSIC ON THE UKULELE  343 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,302     FOR TIPS IN THE CAFETERIA.  344 00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:05,804  [laughs]   - I HAD MY UKULELE,  345 00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:09,174  AND YOU TWO HAD YOUR HAND JOBS      AT THE BACK OF THE FOOTBALL BUS.  346 00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,409    - WE'RE GONNA HIT UP THE BAR.     347 00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:11,710  OKAY, WE'LL CATCH UP   WITH YOU GUYS LATER.  348 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:12,778  - GREAT SEEING YOU ALL.  349 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:19,418  [door knocks]  350 00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:24,356     - GUESS WHO FOUND A BOTTLE   OF LAFITE ROTHSCHILD.  351 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:25,925  NOW,      BEFORE YOU GET TOO EXCITED,      352 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,360  IT'S NOT AN '82.   - [laughs] WOW.  353 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:29,461      - TURNS OUT I DON'T HAVE  354 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,196  $5,000 BURNING A HOLE   IN MY POCKET.  355 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,666  THAT IS A 2007.  356 00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:36,602    BUT, YOU KNOW, ALL THE LABELS          LOOK THE SAME. SO WE CAN  357 00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,704      PRETEND THAT WE'RE HAVING       A RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE  358 00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:40,205  BOTTLE OF WINE.  359 00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:41,874  JUST AT A BIG DISCOUNT.  360 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:44,510     - WELL, AS MY FRIEND SAYS,   IT'S NOT THE WINE,  361 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:47,379     IT'S THE PEOPLE THAT YOU'RE       DRINKING IT WITH.  362 00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:51,450  BESIDES, 2007 IS NOT      A BAD LITTLE STEP-BROTHER.  363 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,722  - HOW YOU DOIN'?  364 00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,691  - I'M OKAY.  365 00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:01,493    I HAD MY MOMENT OF SELF-PITY,      AND NOW I AM READY  366 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,862  TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS,     AND MAKE ANOTHER RUN AT THIS.     367 00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:16,141     HERE IS TO A PRETTY AMAZING       BOTTLE OF WINE,  368 00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,510     AND THE BEST CLINICAL TRIAL       PARTNER I'VE EVER HAD.  369 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:28,153  - MMM.   - IT'S GOOD.  370 00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:31,156     ['80s music in background]  371 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:36,328  ♪ ♪  372 00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,665  [cell phone dialing]  373 00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:42,167  - HEY.  374 00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:43,502  - WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?     375 00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:45,571  MAKING A DOCUMENTARY   ON TOILET PAPER?  376 00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:47,940  COME ON, I WANT TO GO      MESS WITH SOME MORE PEOPLE.      377 00:16:47,973 --> 00:16:49,008  - [sighs]  378 00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:52,978  - POPPY,   EVERYTHING OKAY?  379 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,346    - NO, EVERYTHING'S NOT OKAY.      380 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,849  I GOT MY PERIOD.  381 00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,250  - OH.  382 00:16:58,283 --> 00:17:00,386  - AND I DON'T   HAVE ANY TAMPONS.  383 00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:01,420  - OKAY.  384 00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:03,689  I MEAN,   DO YOU NEED TO GO HOME?  385 00:17:03,722 --> 00:17:04,857  - NO, ADAM.  386 00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:08,527  I NEED A TAMPON.     AND I NEED YOU TO GET ME ONE.     387 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,662  - ME? WHERE?  388 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,365      I MEAN, DON'T THEY HAVE A   MACHINE IN THERE, OR SOMETHING?    389 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:14,666  - IT'S EMPTY!  390 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,770  JUST, UH, GO CHECK     THE HOTEL GIFT SHOP. PLEASE?      391 00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:19,371      THE LAST THING I NEED IS   EVERYBODY TALKING ABOUT  392 00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:21,273  HOW THE CAPE-WEARING GOTH GIRL      GOT HER PERIOD  393 00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:23,675  AT THE CLASS REUNION.  394 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:24,710  ADAM?  395 00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:25,911  - YEAH.  396 00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:27,246  YEAH, OKAY,   I'M ON IT.  397 00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:30,249  [easy listening music]  398 00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:36,655  ♪ ♪  399 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:47,633  - [sighs]   [cell phone dialing]  400 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,201  - DID YOU GET 'EM?  401 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,437  - I DON'T KNOW, THERE ARE, LIKE,       TEN DIFFERENT KINDS HERE.  402 00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:52,438  - OH, GOOD.  403 00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:53,672  NOT THAT YOU   NEED TO KNOW THIS,  404 00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:55,874     BUT I HAVE FUSSY PRIVATES.   TELL ME WHAT THEY HAVE.  405 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,510      - OKAY, SLENDER REGULAR,   SUPER PLUS,  406 00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:01,580  LIGHTS, THEY HAVE SOME       BIODEGRADABLE APPLICATOR.  407 00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:04,983  [whispering] THEY ALSO   HAVE A SANITARY NAPKIN.  408 00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,686  - [sighs] NO,     THAT'S LIKE WEARING A DIAPER.     409 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:08,987    TELL ME WHAT THEY HAVE AGAIN.     410 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:12,024  - SLENDER REGULAR, SUPER PLUS,      LIGHTS--  411 00:18:12,057 --> 00:18:14,893      - SLENDER REGULAR'S GOOD.  412 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,062  SLENDER REGULAR.   [blows air]  413 00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:27,973  [baby cries]  414 00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:33,979  - [groans]  415 00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:35,848  WHY?  416 00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:40,719      WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME?   GOD DAMN IT!  417 00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:43,055  [baby cries]  418 00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:45,624  [groans]   FUCK!  419 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:47,526  - OH, OH!  420 00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,394    WE HAVE A DEAD SOLDIER HERE.      421 00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:51,597  I AM GONNA GET US   [coughs]  422 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:52,998  ANOTHER BOTTLE OF WINE.  423 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:55,934  - WHA--ARE YOU TRYING   TO GET THE LADY TIPSY?  424 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,337      WELL, THE FIRST BOTTLE IS   TO SPOIL OUR SENSES,  425 00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:01,073    AND THE SECOND BOTTLE IS JUST      TO KEEP THE BUZZ GOING.  426 00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:03,775  - I'M ALREADY BUZZED.  427 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:07,112    [laughing] I THINK MAYBE I'LL      JUST SMELL THE CORK ON THAT ONE.  428 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,349  both: [laugh]  429 00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:11,450  - [coughs]  430 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:12,751  - YOU OKAY?  431 00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,653  - YEAH, HEY! NO.  432 00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:16,622  NO SAD EYES,   ALL RIGHT?  433 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,290  JUST FUN.  434 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,925  [coughs]   TELL ME  435 00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:23,595    SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE NEVER      TOLD ANYBODY ELSE.  436 00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,397  - OKAY.  437 00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:29,668  UM, OH.   [laughs]  438 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:32,037  OKAY, HERE'S--   HERE'S A GOOD ONE.  439 00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,972  IT WAS MY FRESHMAN YEAR   IN COLLEGE,  440 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,776  AND I BROUGHT MY BOYFRIEND HOME     TO MEET MY PARENTS.  441 00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:39,411     AND WE WERE HORNY AS HELL.  442 00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:41,513    AND WE KNEW THAT WE COULDN'T       HAVE SEX IN MY PARENTS' HOUSE.     443 00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:44,650  SO...   WE WENT FOR A DRIVE.  444 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:50,656    WE FOUND THIS LONG, DESOLATE,      DUSTY FARM ROAD.  445 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:53,125     AND WE GOT OUT OF THE CAR,  446 00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:56,228    AND HE BENT ME OVER THE HOOD      447 00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,964  AND WE FUCKED   UNDER THE MOONLIGHT.  448 00:19:58,997 --> 00:20:01,233  - WOW.   - YEAH, BUT THAT--  449 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:02,801      THAT'S NOT THE BEST PART.   - AH-HA.  450 00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:05,504  SO THE NEXT DAY, WE'RE PUTTING          THE LUGGAGE INTO THE CAR,  451 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,705  WE'RE SAYING GOOD-BYE   TO MY PARENTS,  452 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,241  AND THERE,   ON THE HOOD,  453 00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:12,110    PRESERVED IN DUST AND DEW...      454 00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:14,546  WAS MY IMAGE.  455 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:18,450  MY HANDS OUTSTRETCHED,   MY TITS, MY FACE,  456 00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:21,286    AND I KNOW--I KNOW MY FATHER           SAW IT, BECAUSE, I MEAN,  457 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,155  HE COULD BARELY LOOK ME     IN THE EYE FOR THE NEXT YEAR.     458 00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:24,890  - [laughs]  459 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,358  - [groans]  460 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:29,094  - [laughs]  461 00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:31,830  - WHAT?   WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?  462 00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,732  - [lip smack]  463 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:35,434    THAT YOU HAVE GREAT BREASTS.      464 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,837  IS THAT A COMPLIMENT?   YOU KNOW, COMING FROM A GAY GUY?  465 00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:41,173  OH, HEY, HEY, IT'S--       IT'S ALWAYS A COMPLIMENT.  466 00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:44,743    - BECAUSE SPEAKING AS SOMEONE         WHO'S NEVER FELT A BREAST,  467 00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:48,580     I CAN SAY THAT I APPRECIATE       THEIR AESTHETIC APPEAL.  468 00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:52,184    - YOU'VE NEVER COPPED A FEEL?     469 00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:53,652  - WELL, BY THE TIME   THE GIRLS HAD ANYTHING TO COP,     470 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,721     I WAS ALREADY STARING DOWN     THE GUYS IN THE LOCKER ROOM.      471 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,155  BUT I GET IT.  472 00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,557  [stammering]   I--I THINK THAT IF I CAME BACK     473 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,759  IN MY NEXT LIFE   AS A STRAIGHT GUY,  474 00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:02,194  [laughing]   I WOULD BE ABLE  475 00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:04,830  TO WRAP MY HEAD   AROUND A VAGINA.  476 00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:06,431  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  477 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,433      - LETTING YOU COP A FEEL.  478 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:11,203    I MEAN, LOOK, SINCE I DIDN'T       REALLY NAIL IT ON THE WINE WISH,  479 00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:14,206  I MEAN, LET'S--     LET'S SATISFY YOUR CURIOSITY.     480 00:21:14,239 --> 00:21:15,641  - AW, CATHY--  481 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:17,743  - IF THIS IS THE ONE THING YOU      GO TO YOUR GRAVE WITHOUT DOING,    482 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:21,179  I'M GONNA FEEL LIKE A SHITHEEL      FOR NOT OFFERING.  483 00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:23,015  I MEAN, LOOK, THEY'RE--   THEY'RE HERE.  484 00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:24,716  - YUP.       - THEY'RE ATTACHED TO ME.  485 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,386  THEY'RE FREE. I MEAN,      UNLIKE THAT BOTTLE OF WINE.      486 00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:29,821  SO COME ON.  487 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:31,556  LOOK, I MAY NEVER BE   THIS VULNERABLE AND DRUNK AGAIN.  488 00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:33,492  COME ON.  489 00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:41,400  - [indistinct mutter]   [sighs]  490 00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:46,672  - CLOSE YOUR EYES.  491 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,570  electronic voice:   HELLO, SEVEN.  492 00:22:51,603 --> 00:22:52,671  - SHIT.  493 00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:55,240  NOT SEVEN. SVEN.  494 00:22:55,273 --> 00:22:57,709  FUCKIN' CHINESE.  495 00:22:57,743 --> 00:22:58,777  - PRESS ONE   FOR YOUR WEIGHT.  496 00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:00,879  PRESS TWO       FOR YOUR BODY MASS INDEX.  497 00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:02,981  PRESS THREE   FOR YOUR METABOLIC AGE.  498 00:23:04,616 --> 00:23:06,718    BASED ON CURRENT INFORMATION,     499 00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:09,254      YOUR METABOLIC AGE IS...  500 00:23:09,287 --> 00:23:12,858  67 YEARS OLD.  501 00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:15,327  - WHAT THE FUCK?  502 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,728  - PRESS ONE FOR--   PRESS TWO--  503 00:23:16,762 --> 00:23:18,463  PRESS THREE FOR--  504 00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:20,899  YOUR METABOLIC AGE IS  505 00:23:20,932 --> 00:23:22,067  67 YEARS OLD.  506 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:24,436  [scale rattles]  507 00:23:26,171 --> 00:23:29,274  - [whistling]  508 00:23:29,307 --> 00:23:30,375  - [gasps]   OH.  509 00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:32,778  THANK YOU SO MUCH.  510 00:23:32,811 --> 00:23:34,813     I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT       WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED  511 00:23:34,846 --> 00:23:36,081     OR WHAT THEY WOULD'VE SAID   ABOUT ME,  512 00:23:36,114 --> 00:23:37,549  IF YOU WEREN'T AROUND   TO HELP ME.  513 00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:39,384  - WHY DO YOU CARE   WHAT THEY THINK?  514 00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:43,321  IF YOU ASK ME,   PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES.  515 00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:47,125  - GOD,   THAT IS SO TRUE.  516 00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:48,226  YOU ARE SO WISE.  517 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,762  YOU ARE MY WISE MAN.  518 00:23:50,796 --> 00:23:52,731  - [chuckles]   - ADAM LEDOUCHE,  519 00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,933  YOU ARE A GENTLEMAN.  520 00:23:54,966 --> 00:23:57,669  OH, MY GOD,   I LOVE THIS SONG!  521 00:23:57,702 --> 00:23:59,004  ♪ LAY A WHISPER ON MY PILLOW ♪     522 00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:04,843  ♪ LEAVE THE WINTER   ON THE GROUND ♪  523 00:24:04,876 --> 00:24:07,846  ♪ I WAKE UP LONELY ♪  524 00:24:07,879 --> 00:24:09,548  ♪ IS THERE A SILENCE ♪  525 00:24:09,581 --> 00:24:13,585  ♪ IN THE BEDROOM ♪  526 00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:16,922  ♪ AND ALL AROUND ♪  527 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:19,324  ♪ TOUCH ME NOW ♪  528 00:24:19,357 --> 00:24:22,794  ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES ♪  529 00:24:22,828 --> 00:24:27,699  ♪ AND DREAM AWAY ♪  530 00:24:27,732 --> 00:24:30,368     ♪ IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE ♪  531 00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:33,672  ♪ BUT IT'S OVER NOW ♪  532 00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:35,774     ♪ IT MUST HAVE BEEN GOOD ♪  533 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:39,544      ♪ BUT I LOST IT SOMEHOW ♪  534 00:24:39,578 --> 00:24:42,481     ♪ IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE ♪  535 00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:44,449  ♪ BUT IT'S OVER NOW ♪  536 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,051  - WHOA.  537 00:24:46,084 --> 00:24:48,220  YOU LOOK FANCY,   WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?  538 00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:50,188  - I WAS WITH POPPY.  539 00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:51,323  AT A HOTEL.  540 00:24:51,356 --> 00:24:53,358  OKAY, BUT BEFORE YOU   GO BALLISTIC,  541 00:24:53,391 --> 00:24:55,193  IT WAS JUST FOR HER   HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.  542 00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:57,028     AND BEFORE YOU GO BALLISTIC       ABOUT THAT,  543 00:24:57,062 --> 00:24:58,163  IT WAS TOTALLY WEIRD.  544 00:24:58,196 --> 00:25:00,999  JUST ME, POPPY,      AND A BUNCH OF OLD PEOPLE.  545 00:25:02,701 --> 00:25:03,735  - DID YOU HAVE FUN?  546 00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:08,073  - UM...   YEAH.  547 00:25:08,106 --> 00:25:11,676  YEAH, I--   I KINDA DID.  548 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,180  - WHEN DID YOU   START DRINKING COFFEE?  549 00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:17,549  - I TRIED IT TONIGHT,   AND I LIKED IT.  550 00:25:22,821 --> 00:25:25,557  - DO YOU REMEMBER   THAT LITTLE KID  551 00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:26,992  WHO USED TO LIVE   DOWN THE BLOCK FROM US,  552 00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:27,993     THAT USED TO BITE HIMSELF?  553 00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:30,795  - OH. YEAH.   SIMON.  554 00:25:30,829 --> 00:25:33,965  - WHY DID HE DO THAT?  555 00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:36,301  - WELL,   I THINK HE WAS PRETTY UNHAPPY.     556 00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:38,837      HIS PARENTS GOT DIVORCED.   HIS DOG GOT HIT BY THAT TRUCK.     557 00:25:38,870 --> 00:25:42,307  IT'S A LOT   FOR A KID TO DEAL WITH.  558 00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:44,209     - BUT NONE OF THOSE THINGS   WERE HIS FAULT.  559 00:25:47,078 --> 00:25:50,615  - I THINK SOMETIMES      WHEN YOU'RE SAD AND ANGRY,  560 00:25:50,649 --> 00:25:52,417  AND YOU DON'T WANT TO   TAKE IT OUT ON SOMEONE,  561 00:25:52,450 --> 00:25:54,853  YOU TAKE IT OUT   ON YOURSELF.  562 00:25:54,886 --> 00:25:57,689  - THAT'S FUCKED UP.  563 00:25:57,722 --> 00:26:00,492  - IT IS FUCKED UP.  564 00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:07,566  electronic voice:      HELLO, SEVEN, WELCOME BACK.      565 00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:09,200  - PAUL,   WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  566 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:11,403  - WELL, I'M JUST, UH,   I'M JUST TRYING THIS THING OUT     567 00:26:11,436 --> 00:26:13,405  ON A DIFFERENT SURFACE.     I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S BUSTED.      568 00:26:13,438 --> 00:26:16,541    - PRESS ONE FOR--PRESS TWO--       PRESS THREE FOR--  569 00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:20,211      YOUR METABOLIC AGE IS...  570 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:21,680  67 YEARS OLD.  571 00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:22,681  - SEE?  572 00:26:22,714 --> 00:26:23,815  [laughing]   IT KEEPS ON TURNING ME  573 00:26:23,848 --> 00:26:26,518  INTO A SENIOR CITIZEN.   HERE, YOU TRY IT.  574 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,927  - HELLO, GOOD-BYE.   WELCOME BACK.  575 00:26:35,961 --> 00:26:37,996  - [giggles]  576 00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:39,664  - OKAY,   PRESS THE BUTTON ON THE RIGHT.     577 00:26:39,698 --> 00:26:41,633  - BASED ON CURRENT INFORMATION,    578 00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:45,370      YOUR METABOLIC AGE IS...  579 00:26:45,403 --> 00:26:46,838  37 YEARS OLD.  580 00:26:46,871 --> 00:26:48,373  - HEY!  581 00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:50,075  LOOK AT THAT!  582 00:26:50,108 --> 00:26:51,209  - I'M DYING.  583 00:26:51,242 --> 00:26:53,211  - PAUL--   - NO, THIS IS CRAZY.  584 00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:55,847  I'M 45,   I'M ONLY 45 YEARS OLD.  585 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,083  I--I GOTTA GET IN BETTER SHAPE,     HONEY.  586 00:26:58,116 --> 00:26:59,884      I GOTTA GET THE TREADMILL   OUT OF THE GARAGE,  587 00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:01,252    I GOTTA GET--I GOTTA GET BACK      TO MY FIGHTING WEIGHT.  588 00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:03,054  YOU KNOW?  589 00:27:03,088 --> 00:27:06,191  AND,      I'M SURE YOU WOULDN'T MIND  590 00:27:06,224 --> 00:27:09,127  IF I LOST A FEW POUNDS,   RIGHT?  591 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,229  [distant knocking]  592 00:27:11,262 --> 00:27:13,231  - WHAT IS THAT?  593 00:27:13,264 --> 00:27:15,000  [Vib Gyor's  Take Cover]  594 00:27:15,033 --> 00:27:17,369  ♪ TAKE COVER ♪  595 00:27:17,402 --> 00:27:19,871  - SEAN,   YOUR DOOR'S OPEN!  596 00:27:19,904 --> 00:27:23,041  SEAN--  597 00:27:23,074 --> 00:27:28,213  ♪ OUR LIVES FADED ♪  598 00:27:28,246 --> 00:27:34,052  ♪ LOST FOREVER ♪  599 00:27:34,085 --> 00:27:36,388  ♪ ♪  600 00:27:36,421 --> 00:27:40,025  ♪ THOUGHT THAT I ♪  601 00:27:40,058 --> 00:27:44,095  ♪ COULD SAVE YOU ♪  602 00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:50,101  ♪ ♪  603 00:27:50,135 --> 00:27:53,138      Captioning by  CaptionMax   www.captionmax.com  71963

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