All language subtitles for The Big C S02E06 The Little C 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:09,576  - PREVIOUSLY ON   THE BIG C...  2 00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:11,745  - I STILL THINK IT'S   BETTER IF WE GO SLOW.  3 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,213  OKAY?  4 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,350  - WHAT THE FUCK   WERE YOU THINKING?  5 00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:18,985  SHE'S A HOOKER.  6 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,855  - SINCE YOU'RE UP.  7 00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,256  - OH, I LOVE IT!  8 00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:24,891  - NOW I GOTTA WORRY   ABOUT FINDING A JOB  9 00:00:24,924 --> 00:00:26,326    AND GETTING INSURANCE AGAIN.      10 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,560  I WORK HERE NOW.  11 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:28,795  I'M GONNA KEEP LOOKING   FOR SOMETHING GOOD.  12 00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:29,896      BUT UNTIL THAT HAPPENS...  13 00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:32,332  - I THINK IT'S AWESOME.  14 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:43,610  [Leftover Cuties'   Game Called Life]  15 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:45,612  - ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪  16 00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:49,649     ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪  17 00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:54,287  ♪ STEP OUT ♪  18 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:59,092      ♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪  19 00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:04,864  ♪ IS THIS   SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪  20 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:09,202  ♪ WILL SOMEONE   WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪  21 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:15,075     ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST       A GAME WE PLAY ♪  22 00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:19,012  ♪ CALLED LIFE ♪  23 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:09,729  - YOU'RE GOOD.  24 00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:10,964  I'M MRS. JAMISON,  25 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,132  BY THE WAY.  26 00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:14,033  - YEAH, I KNOW.  27 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,168  EVERYBODY KNOWS.  28 00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:16,936  I'M GRETA.  29 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,238  - WELL...  30 00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:20,540  THANKS FOR KICKING   MY BUTT, GRETA.  31 00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,742      IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I     WORKED UP A SWEAT IN A POOL.      32 00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:24,844  - I'M ON THE SWIM TEAM.   I PRACTICE A LOT.  33 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,146      BEATS SITTING ON MY BUTT,  34 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,847  WAITING AROUND FOR   THE NEW COACH.  35 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,449    WHAT HAPPENED TO MR. GIBSON?      36 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:32,352  - HE QUIT 'CAUSE HIS WIFE'S JOB       GOT RELOCATED TO DES MOINES.      37 00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:33,853  WE'RE TOTALLY SCREWED.  38 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,856  PROBABLY WASTING MY TIME TRYING         TO KEEP UP WITH PRACTICE.  39 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,025  TEAM'S GOING TO MAJORLY SUCK BY        THE TIME THEY GET SOMEBODY.      40 00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,727  [sighs]  41 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,495  [school bell rings]  42 00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:46,132     - IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU TO   OFFER, BUT WE'LL FIND SOMEBODY.    43 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,300  - I'M NOT OFFERING.   I'M APPLYING.  44 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,403      - COACHING THE SWIM TEAM   IS A TOUGH JOB.  45 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,373     GETTING UP FOR PRACTICE AT     DAWN, FREEZING YOUR ASS OFF.      46 00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:55,275  TRAVELING TO THOSE   OUT OF TOWN MEETS.  47 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,010  ARE YOU SURE YOU   CAN HANDLE THAT...  48 00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,379  WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE   GOT GOING ON?  49 00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:00,780  - OH, I CAN HANDLE IT.  50 00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:02,849      I WAS CAPTAIN OF THE SWIM   TEAM IN HIGH SCHOOL.  51 00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:04,350  I EVEN GOT A NICKNAME.  52 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,519  "THE TOLKE TORPEDO."  53 00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:09,322  [laughs]       I WAS KIND OF A BIG DEAL.  54 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,925  - KATHY, WE'VE BEEN STATE CHAMPS   FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS.  55 00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:14,928     THERE'D BE AN AWFUL LOT OF     HIGH EXPECTATIONS PUT ON YOU.     56 00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:17,697  - KEEP LOOKING FOR ANOTHER COACH   IF YOU THINK YOU CAN FIND ONE.     57 00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:20,833  UNTIL THEN, LET ME GET   THEM BACK IN THE RACE.  58 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,702  IF YOU NEED MY RESUME,   HERE IT IS:  59 00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:26,206    I SWAM FOR THE UNIVERSITY OF           MINNESOTA FOR FOUR YEARS.  60 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:28,107  I HAD THE TEAM'S BEST   TIME IN THE 400 I.M.  61 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:31,511  AND I THROW A KICK-ASS   VICTORY PARTY.  62 00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:35,815    - WELL, WE'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.     63 00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:37,483  - GREAT!  64 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:44,123  - I DON'T GET THIS.   [laughs]  65 00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:48,428  - I DON'T KNOW WHY I BANISHED MY   OLD SWIMSUITS TO THE BASEMENT.     66 00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:49,729      - MOM, YOU'RE THE COACH.  67 00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:52,432  OKAY, NO ONE WANTS TO   SEE YOU IN A BIKINI.  68 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:54,234    - YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN I MIGHT          HAVE TO GET IN THE WATER.  69 00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:57,737     IT WOULDN'T HURT TO HAVE A      FEW EXTRA SWIMSUIT OPTIONS.      70 00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,739     - I CANNOT WAIT TILL I CAN   WEAR A BIKINI AGAIN.  71 00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:02,275  I WANT TO GO TO CABO   AFTER THE BABY'S BORN.  72 00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,644     - YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE       AFTER THE BABY'S BORN.  73 00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:06,079    YOU'RE BARELY GOING TO SLEEP.     74 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,914    - OH, MY GOD, YOU HAVE TO ADD      THIS ONE TO YOUR COACH WARDROBE.  75 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:11,251  IT'S CUTE, BUT IN THAT BAD-ASS      MOFO KIND OF WAY.  76 00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:12,418  - THANK YOU, MIA.  77 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,320  - NICE MEDALS, MOM.   - YEAH.  78 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,689  IT'S SO COOL THAT   YOU WERE A JOCK.  79 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,691  HEY, WHY AREN'T YOU   ON THE SWIM TEAM?  80 00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,294  YOU WOULD LOOK CUTE   IN A SPEEDO.  81 00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:24,831  [laughs]  82 00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:27,700    - THEY ARE TOTALLY DOING IT.      83 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:30,370  LOOK AT THEM.   SMELL THEM.  84 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,805  THEY EVEN SMELL LIKE TEEN SEX.     85 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:33,973  - THAT IS GROSS.  86 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,542  AND I WOULD KNOW      IF SOMETHING WAS GOING ON.  87 00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,945  MIA AND I HAVE ACTUALLY   BECOME PRETTY CLOSE,  88 00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:40,880    AND I'M NOT PICKING UP ON THE        SEX VIBE FROM EITHER OF THEM.     89 00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:42,048  THANK GOD.  90 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,083  - MY INTUITION BEGS TO DIFFER.     91 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,519  MOM'S HAVE INSTINCTS   ABOUT THESE THINGS.  92 00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:48,888     - YOU'RE NOT A MOTHER YET.  93 00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:49,956  WHEN YOUR BABY IS   OUTSIDE OF YOUR BODY,  94 00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:51,190    THEN YOU CAN COME TALK TO ME.     95 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,825  - HEY!  96 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,628     THAT'S A NICE COLOR ON YOU.       - THANKS.  97 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:58,631  MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE   CHANGED JOBS SOONER.  98 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:00,033  - THANK YOU FOR   THE SNACK, CATHY.  99 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,367  BYE-BYE, GUYS.  100 00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:02,769  - SEE YA.   - BYE.  101 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,905  - THEY'RE ARE DOING IT   EVERY DAY.  102 00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:08,775     - JEEZ, DAD, CAN'T YOU JUST      103 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:11,144  CHANGE BEFORE YOU LEAVE   WORK OR SOMETHING,  104 00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:13,513  BEFORE THE ENTIRE WORLD      SEES YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT?      105 00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:14,747  - HEY!  106 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,983  YOUR FATHER WORKS   INCREDIBLY HARD.  107 00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:18,818    MAYBE EVEN AS HARD AS YOU'RE       WORKING THAT ATTITUDE.  108 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:20,720  GROW UP!  109 00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,726  - THAT'S GREAT.  110 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:29,562      JUST WHEN THIS CRAPPY JOB   COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE,  111 00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:31,297  NOW MY SON IS   ASHAMED OF ME.  112 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,432  HA-HA.  113 00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:34,767  WHAT ARE THOSE   BATHING SUITS FOR?  114 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,369    - I'M COACHING THE SWIM TEAM.     115 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,338  - COACHING?  116 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:39,772  SERIOUSLY?  117 00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:41,107  THAT'S CRAZY.  118 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,142  HONEY, YOU NEED TO   CONSERVE YOUR STRENGTH.  119 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,978  - I WANT TO USE MY STRENGTH TO        DO THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY.     120 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,447  LIKE SWIMMING.  121 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,681  AND BESIDES,  122 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,718  THIS JOB PAYS AN EXTRA   $5,000.  123 00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:52,885  - WOW!  124 00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,020  THAT'S LIKE TWO SCANS  125 00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:55,888  AND A MOUNTAIN DEW   IN THE WAITING ROOM.  126 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,429  - WHAT IS THIS?  127 00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:06,165  - THIS IS WHERE OUR   LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY,  128 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,233  SLASH ANXIETY,  129 00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:08,501  IS GOING TO COME   INTO THE WORLD.  130 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,470  I'M JUST UH...   CHECKING FOR LEAKS.  131 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:13,673     - I THOUGHT WE AGREED I WAS          GIVING BIRTH IN A HOSPITAL.      132 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,007  - A HOSPITAL YES.  133 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,676      TRAPPED ON A GURNEY, AND   WHACKED OUT ON PAINKILLERS, NO.    134 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,244  I CHECKED,  135 00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:21,114     AND WE'RE ALLOWED TO BRING       IN OUR OWN BIRTHING POOL.  136 00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:22,582    - TELL ME YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.     137 00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:26,185  LET'S, UH...      LET'S GIVE IT A TRY, OKAY?  138 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,987  - NOW?  139 00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,088  - OOH.  140 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,190  - [laughs] OH, MY GOD.  141 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,728  - OH, YEAH.   WATER'S NICE.  142 00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,865  COME ON IN.  143 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,466  - [laughs]  144 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,569  YOU'RE CRAZY.  145 00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,706  WHOA!   [screams]  146 00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:47,840  - [chuckling]   - [groans]  147 00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,442  - SEE, DOESN'T   THAT FEEL NICE?  148 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,711  JUST THE WAY   NATURE INTENDED.  149 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,079  - ARE YOU GOING TO GET   IN THE POOL WITH ME?  150 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:54,614     - SURE, IF YOU NEED ME TO.  151 00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,749  MIGHT EVEN BRING   MY SWIM NOODLE.  152 00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,355  - EVERYTHING LOOKS       BETTER IN 3-D, YOU KNOW.  153 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,524      IT'S LIKE MUSIC, SPORTS.  154 00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,726  UH!      NOW THAT  LORD OF THE DANCE  155 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,361      HAS BEEN RELEASED IN 3-D,  156 00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:09,996  TAP DANCING, SERIOUSLY.  157 00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,931  I HAVE SEEN IT.   IT IS AWESOME.  158 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,633  IT'S LIKE, IT'S LIKE   YOU'RE GETTING AN IRISH  159 00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:14,967  LAP DANCE OR SOMETHING.  160 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,369  IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.  161 00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:18,337  - THANKS.       WE'RE GONNA SHOP AROUND.  162 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:20,873  - OH.   ALL RIGHT, MAN.  163 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:23,109  THANKS FOR COMING IN.  164 00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:24,977  - HEY, BUDDY.   - OH, HEY OWEN.  165 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,312  - HOW YOU DOIN'?  166 00:07:26,345 --> 00:07:27,713    DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT       LOSING THAT SALE.  167 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:28,881  THEY WERE TOUGH.  168 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,049    YOU'LL GET THE HANG OF IT...      169 00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:31,717  WHEN YOU'VE BEEN   HERE A LITTLE WHILE.  170 00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:34,787  - JUST FINDING   MY SEA LEGS, BOSS.  171 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:35,988  - THAT'S COOL.  172 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,056  MIKHAIL, WHAT'S UP?  173 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,524  - MYKAILO.  174 00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:41,260  OWEN?       - WHAT DO YOU NEED, DUDE?  175 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,496    - I WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD         SWITCH THIS SATURDAY'S SHIFT      176 00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:45,298  FOR SOMETHING DURING THE WEEK.     177 00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:48,201     DUDE, I SPENT, LIKE, HOURS   DOING THE SCHEDULE.  178 00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,369     YOU START PULLING THREADS,   IT'S GONNA TOTALLY SCREW US UP.    179 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,537  - OKAY, OKAY.  180 00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,773  I'LL BE HERE.  181 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,483  - HE'S A BIG PAIN IN THE ASS FOR     SUCH A LITTLE TURD, ISN'T HE?     182 00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:04,650  - YEAH, COULD BE WORSE THOUGH.     183 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,953     I COULD BE HOME IN UKRAINE.      184 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,921  - HUH.     IT'S THAT BAD IN THE UKRAINE?     185 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:11,491  - AH, UKRAINE IS FINE.   I MISS MY FAMILY BUT  186 00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:14,727  OPPORTUNITY-WISE,   AMERICA KICKS ASS.  187 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,995  - RIGHT ON.  188 00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:18,698      - MOST PEOPLE, WORKING IN   SHIPPING AND RECEIVING,  189 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,166  THEY'RE BITCHING 24-7.  190 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:21,901      I THINK THE FACT THAT YOU       SEE IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY,  191 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,202  THAT IS AWESOME, FELLA.  192 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,971  - YEAH, AN OPPORTUNITY   TO GET THE FUCK OUT  193 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,105     OF SHIPPING AND RECEIVING.  194 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:27,473  [laughs]  195 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,380  - WOW!  196 00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:37,083  GIRLS, GATHER ROUND.  197 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,353      FIRST OFF I JUST WANT TO   SAY HOW EXCITED I AM  198 00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:41,921  ABOUT THIS YEAR.  199 00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:44,891  AND I'VE MADE SOME PRELIMINARY      ASSIGNMENTS BASED ON YOUR TIMES    200 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,526  FROM LAST YEAR.  201 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,227  PASS THESE AROUND.  202 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,496     SO...EVERYBODY IN THE POOL.      203 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,933  IF YOU CAN WALK AND TALK AT THE        SAME TIME WHEN YOU'RE DONE,      204 00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:55,568  YOU ARE NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH.  205 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,537  SO GIVE ME SIX 100s.  206 00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,605  75 SWIM, 25 KICK.  207 00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:03,075     - COME ON, STRETCH IT OUT,   STRETCH IT OUT.  208 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:08,514     KEEP YOU ELBOWS UP, GRETA.   AND RELAX YOUR HANDS.  209 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,251     KEEP YOUR ELBOWS UP, HONEY.       YOU'RE DOING GREAT.  210 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,520     - YOU MUST BE GRETA'S DAD.  211 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:18,024  - LES JOHNSON.   NICE TO MEET YOU.  212 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,492  YOU KNOW, IT'S GREAT THAT YOU'RE       SUPPORTING YOUR DAUGTHER,  213 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,995  BUT BEING HER COACH   IS KIND OF MY JOB.  214 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,463  - SORRY, COACH, DIDN'T   MEAN TO HELICOPTER.  215 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,565  JUST HERE TO HELP.  216 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:28,100  - I KNOW.   ME TOO.  217 00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,069  THE CRAZY THING IS TOO MUCH HELP   CAN FEEL A LOT LIKE  218 00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:33,839  TOO MUCH PRESSURE.   - GRETA CAN HANDLE IT.  219 00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,241      BY THE WAY, THE OLD COACH  220 00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,576      USED TO HAVE THEM WARM UP   WITH DRILLS.  221 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,878     KEEPS THEIR TECHNIQUE SHARP       FOR THE WHOLE WORKOUT.  222 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,746      - I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.  223 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,415  - GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT.  224 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:45,785  - MAYBE IT WOULD BE BEST IF YOU         WAIT IN THE PARKING LOT.  225 00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,620  - EXCUSE ME?  226 00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:50,423  - ACTUALLY, IF ALL THE PARENTS      COULD PLEASE WAIT FOR YOUR KIDS    227 00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:51,490  IN YOUR CARS.  228 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:55,394  DON'T WORRY.      I HAVE THINGS COVERED HERE.      229 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,862  THANKS.  230 00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,273  - OH, HEY.   I NEED A FAVOR.  231 00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:10,676  I CAN'T TELL WHETHER THESE MEDS     I'M ON ARE WORKING OR MAKING ME    232 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,044    CRAZIER THAN A SHITHOUSE RAT.     233 00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:13,746  - WHY?   WHAT'S GOING ON?  234 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,848     - WELL, I KEEP HAVING THESE           THOUGHTS, AND I JUST NEED  235 00:10:15,881 --> 00:10:17,483  TO SAY THEM OUT LOUD   TO SOMEBODY RATIONAL.  236 00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:19,819  WHAT ARE YOU...  237 00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,988  ARE YOU RUBBING YOUR VAGINA ON      THE COFFEE TABLE?  238 00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:23,589  - NO.  239 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,626  JEEZ, SEAN.   WHAT DO YOU WANT?  240 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,761    - THIS WHOLE CHILDBIRTH THING          IS REALLY DOING A NUMBER  241 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,096  ON MY PSYCHE.  242 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:33,265  I SAW A RACCOON FAMILY DRINKING         OUT OF OUR BIRTHING POOL  243 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,001     IN THE BACKYARD LAST NIGHT.      244 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:38,537     THEY ARE MEAN FUCKERS, BUT     THEY'RE DEFINITELY A FAMILY.      245 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:42,074    FYI, THEY DO NOT LIKE HAVING         BROOMS WAVED IN THEIR FACES.      246 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:47,013    ANYWAY, I REALIZED I HAVEN'T       BEEN CLOSE TO MY FAMILY  247 00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:48,981      LIKE THIS IN A LONG TIME.  248 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:51,183  LIKE RACCOON CLOSE.  249 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:54,020  AND I JUST THOUGHT WOULDN'T BE      AWESOME IF REBECCA AND OUR BABY    250 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:56,288  COULD FEEL THAT CONNECTION TOO.     - SEAN...  251 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,491     WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  252 00:10:58,524 --> 00:11:00,626  - I'M THINKING OF   PROPOSING TO REBECCA.  253 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,798  - OH, SEAN.  254 00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:09,368  I THINK THAT IS...  255 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,536  TERRIFIC.  256 00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:12,905  - OH.   - AND RESPONSIBLE.  257 00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:17,376  AND INCREDIBLY SANE.  258 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,112  [laughs]  259 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:24,250  [sighs]  260 00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:27,920  - YO!   - HI!  261 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,492  - WHY ARE YOU WEARING   TWO SHIRTS?  262 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,462  - MY COVER SHIRT.       SO MY SON DOESN'T SHUN ME  263 00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:37,763     WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK.  264 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:38,998    - HE'LL GET USED TO YOUR JOB.     265 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,266  - I DON'T WANT HIM TO   GET USED TO IT.  266 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:41,934      I WANT HIM TO RESPECT ME.  267 00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:43,769    YOU KNOW, LIKE THIS UKRAINIAN      KID AT WORK, MYK.  268 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,237  TO HIM,   I'M JUST A REGULAR GUY.  269 00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,940  AND WE SHOOT THE SHIT AND STUFF.   BUT YOU KNOW...  270 00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:49,141     HE COMES TO ME FOR ADVICE.  271 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:51,410      YOU KNOW, IT'S NICE TO BE   APPRECIATED  272 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:55,347  EVEN IF IT'S   NOT BY MY OWN SON.  273 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:58,517     WHAT'S GOIN' ON DOWN THERE?      274 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,487  - I'VE BEEN ITCHING THE   LAST COUPLE OF HOURS  275 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,456  BUT A LOT.  276 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:04,924  I THINK   I'M GETTING A RASH.  277 00:12:04,957 --> 00:12:06,459     - AND WHY ARE YOU SMILING?  278 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:08,227  [whispering] IS IT 'CAUSE IT'S      IN SORT OF A FUN AREA?  279 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:12,665    - NO, BECAUSE THE...NURSES...        AT THE CLINIC, THEY SAID THAT     280 00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:15,468  ITCHING AND RASHES THAT   THEY'RE...THEY'RE  281 00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:18,771  SIDE EFFECTS OF MY IMMUNE SYSTEM     RESPONDING TO THE TREATMENT.      282 00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,606  - SO THEN THE ITCHING'S   A GOOD THING.  283 00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:22,274  - [gasp]   - WOW!  284 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,543  - YOU KNOW SOMETHING?  285 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,414  I THINK I'M HAVING   SOME SYMPATHY ITCHING.  286 00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:31,650  - [laughs]  287 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,352  - BECOMING   A SALES ASSOCIATE HERE  288 00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:35,454  WOULD BE AN   AWESOME OPPORTUNITY.  289 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,389  I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT   ELECTRONICS BECAUSE I PRACTICED    290 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,392  ENGLISH READING THE   INSTRUCTION MANUALS.  291 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,863  - WHY SHOULD I GIVE THE JOB TO A   REFUGEE INSTEAD OF AN AMERICAN?    292 00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,965  - I AM NOT A REFUGEE,   YOU ASS-WIPE!  293 00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,367  - THAT'S WHAT   I'M TALKING ABOUT.  294 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,603  LOOK, OWEN'S GOING TO BE LOBBING   YOU ALL KINDS OF CRAZY,  295 00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,138    BUT YOU GOTTA KEEP YOUR COOL.     296 00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:54,840  - TREATS ME LIKE A CAME TO THIS     COUNTRY IN A FUCKING INNERTUBE.    297 00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:58,811  LOOK, ONE DAY YOU'RE GOING TO BE      IN A POSITION TO FIRE GUYS  298 00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,079  LIKE OWEN.  299 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,647     UNTIL THEN, YOU GOT TO WORK       WITHIN THE SYSTEM, MAN.  300 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,315  YOU'VE JUST GOT TO TELL   YOURSELF,  301 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:07,620  "I'M A VALUABLE MEMBER OF THIS      STAFF, AND I DESERVE RESPECT."     302 00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:09,922  [scratching]  303 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,157  - I'M NOT DOING THAT.  304 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:13,959  - OH. SORRY.  305 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:30,576  - I'M SEEING A LOT OF   BUBBLES, LADIES.  306 00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:32,244      IT'S LIKE YOU'RE SWIMMING   IN TONIC WATER.  307 00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:33,379  - GRETA, HONEY,  308 00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:34,413  YOU'RE OVERREACHING   ON THE CATCH.  309 00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:35,714      - TRACY, WHAT IS GOING--  310 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,683    - HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GONNA          HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THAT?  311 00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,718  - MR. JOHNSON.  312 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:42,922  IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO   THIS BETTER THAN ME,  313 00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:45,224  PROVE IT.  314 00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:46,759  I'LL RACE YOU.  315 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:48,027  RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.  316 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,695    AND THE LOSER HAS TO SHUT UP.     317 00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:51,030  AND BY THE WAY,  318 00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:54,433  YOUR DAUGHTER CUT ALMOST THREE      SECONDS OFF HER TIME.  319 00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:56,869     THIS IS MY JOB, NOT YOURS.  320 00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:59,138  AND THIS AREA IS   FOR SWIMMERS ONLY.  321 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,874  SO GET IN THE POOL,   OR GET OUT.  322 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,982  ♪ LADIES FIRST ♪  323 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,150  ♪ THROW YOUR HANDS UP ♪  324 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,551  ♪ IT'S PARTY TIME ♪  325 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,553     ♪ ALL THE GIRLS, THE GIRLS   ARE ABOUT TO SHINE ♪  326 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:15,721  ♪ LADIES, STAND UP ♪  327 00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:17,256     ♪ 'CAUSE IT WON'T BE LONG ♪      328 00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,191    ♪ AND YOU'RE LOOKING SO GOOD       AND THE PARTY'S ON ♪  329 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:21,961    ♪ 'CAUSE THE BEAT DON'T STOP,        YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD ♪      330 00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:23,395  - THIS IS THE MOST   BLACK PEOPLE  331 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,331  I HAVE EVER SEEN AT   ONE TIME IN MINNESOTA.  332 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:28,100  - HEY!   - OH, HEY!  333 00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,501  I NEED YOUR EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT.     334 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,703     MY CRAPPY CELL PHONE DIED.  335 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,104  - YOU SURE IT'S NOT   JUST THE BATTERY?  336 00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,706     YOU WANT ME TO TAKE A LOOK   AT IT WHEN I GET HOME?  337 00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,007     - OH, YOU ARE PAUL'S WIFE.  338 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,409  - HELL NO!   HE'S MY DADDY.  339 00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:38,911  CAN'T YOU TELL BY THE   FAMILY RESEMBLANCE?  340 00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:40,813  - MYK, THIS IS ANDREA.  341 00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,448  ANDREA'S JUST LIVING   WITH US FOR A WHILE.  342 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:43,883  - HEY, MYK.  343 00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:45,684      I THREW MY OLD PHONE OUT.   I NEED TO UPGRADE.  344 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,087  - OH, I CAN SHOW   YOU SOME PHONES.  345 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,922  DO YOU MIND, PAUL?  346 00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:51,390  - BE MY GUEST.   HEY!  347 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,225  YOUR FIRST CUSTOMER.  348 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:56,028    - I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT          ANY CHEAP-ASS FLIP PHONES.  349 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,963  I'M A BUSY GIRL WITH A       LOT OF SHIT TO ORGANIZE.  350 00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:59,899      YOU CAN TAKE ME STRAIGHT   TO THE SMART PHONES.  351 00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,734  - OKAY.  352 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:04,236  THE RIGHT PHONE DEPENDS       ON THE FEATURES YOU NEED.  353 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,705  YOU LIKE MUSIC?   - IS A PIG PORK?  354 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,674  - I LIKE MUSIC TOO.  355 00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,709  SO WE HAVE SOME COOL   PHONES FOR MUSIC FANS.  356 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,645  LOTS OF MEMORY,   EASY TO NAVIGATE--  357 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:15,147    - YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ESCAPED           FROM A JAMES BOND MOVIE.  358 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:16,315  ARE YOU RUSSIAN?  359 00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:18,484     - FROM UKRAINE...WITH LOVE.      360 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:21,220     I'M A HUGE JAMES BOND FAN.       I'VE SEEN ALL THE FILMS.  361 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,788  - NO SHIT!   ME TOO.  362 00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:24,156  HE'S PRETTY FINE   FOR A WHITE DUDE,  363 00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:25,958  BUT THEY NEED TO MAKE   THE NEXT BOND BLACK.  364 00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:28,360  - AND THEN YOU COULD   BE HIS PUSSY GALORE.  365 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,529  - MAYBE I COULD BE   IN THE MOVIE TOO.  366 00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:33,132  [both laughing]  367 00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:39,004  - HEY.   IS THIS WHAT YOU NEED?  368 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,507  COULDN'T FIND THE PHILLIPS HEAD     IN MY DAD'S TOOLBOX.  369 00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:44,310  - I SHOULD SEND THIS MONSTROSITY   BACK TO THE FACTORY.  370 00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:46,612  BUT REBECCA SAYS WE   NEED A BABY BOUNCER.  371 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,314  APPARENTLY KNEES   ARE OUT OF FASHION.  372 00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:50,115  HEY...  373 00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,017  WHY ARE YOU SCRATCH-TURBATING?     374 00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,720  - IT FEELS LIKE MY   DICK IS ON FIRE.  375 00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:56,422  MUST BE A SEX THING.  376 00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:00,759  - ALL RIGHT.  377 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,895  ALL RIGHT.   DROP TROU.  378 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:04,663      I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT   HOOKER YOU BROUGHT HOME  379 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,765  WOULD LEAVE YOU   A PARTING GIFT.  380 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,900  DO IT!  381 00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:24,450  HOLY SHIT!  382 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,951     YOU'RE CRAWLING WITH CRABS.      383 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,019  - GOD!  384 00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:28,354  HOW DO I GET THEM OFF?  385 00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:29,755    - THEY'RE FUCKING EVERYWHERE.     386 00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:31,790  I'M SURPRISED YOU HAVE   ANY PENIS LEFT.  387 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,726     - YOU GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE       RIGHT NOW DUDE.  388 00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:36,028     ONE STIFF BREEZE, YOU COULD           INFEST THIS ENTIRE HOUSE.  389 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,130      - DON'T TELL MY PARENTS.  390 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:40,332      - SWEET JESUS, CATHY WAS   GRINDING A TABLE THIS MORNING.     391 00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,900  YOU MUST HAVE   GIVEN THEM TO HER.  392 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,169     - ADAM, YOU GOTTA TELL YOUR       PARENTS RIGHT NOW.  393 00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:45,971  IF YOU DON'T SAY   SOMETHING, I WILL.  394 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,239  - OKAY.   - GO!  395 00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:50,042  THIS IS A FUCKING   PUBLIC HEALTH CRISIS!  396 00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,586  - WHAT'S GOIN ON, BUD?  397 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,823      - IS IT YOUR ALGEBRA TE--   OH, DAMN IT!  398 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,191  ADAM, IS IT YOUR ALGEBRA TEST?     399 00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:07,526  - NO, MOM.  400 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,428  - IS IT DRUGS?  401 00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:10,829  OH, GOD, THAT'S WHAT   IT IS, ISN'T IT?  402 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,665  - NO.   IT'S NOT DRUGS.  403 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:14,700  - YOU'RE GAY.  404 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,201  - BUDDY,  405 00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:18,170    IF YOU'RE QUEER, WE'RE HERE.      406 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,405      AND WE'LL GET USED TO IT.  407 00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:20,739  - I'M NOT GAY.  408 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,107  OKAY, STOP GUESSING.  409 00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,709  - WELL THEN   TELL US WHAT IT IS.  410 00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:26,211  - I HAVE CRABS!   AND SO DO YOU GUYS.  411 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:30,249  AND YOU PROBABLY GOT IT   FROM ME.  412 00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:33,519  - CRABS?  413 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,622     - WAIT, YOU'RE HAVING SEX?  414 00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:37,756  NO!  415 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:38,891  NO!  416 00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,726  YOU'RE TOO YOUNG.  417 00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:42,027  - HOW DID WE GET   CRABS FROM YOU?  418 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,529  - I HAD SEX IN YOUR...  419 00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:44,630  IN YOUR BED.  420 00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:48,033  - OH! OH!   - WHAT?  421 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,402  EXCUSE ME?  422 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:51,737  [gasping]  423 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,640    - AND I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THE       TREATMENT WAS WORKING.  424 00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:55,941  GOD DAMN IT!  425 00:17:57,676 --> 00:18:00,612  [doorbell chimes]  426 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:08,153  - WAIT, I DON'T GET IT.  427 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:10,255  - IT'S A SHAMPOO, MIA.  428 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:11,790  TO GET RID OF CRABS.  429 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,559  - I TRUSTED YOU.  430 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,094  AND WHAT'S WORSE IS   ADAM TRUSTED YOU.  431 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,029  AND YOU HAVE HURT HIM   BY SLEEPING AROUND.  432 00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:21,066     AND NOW YOU HAVE GIVEN HIM     AND OUR ENTIRE FAMILY CRABS.      433 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,735  AND I KNOW THAT IT MIGHT SOUND          SELFISH, BUT I NEED TO BE  434 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,371  AS HEALTHY AS I CAN       DURING A CLINICAL TRIAL.  435 00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:27,606  DO YOU UNDERSTAND?  436 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,377    - ADAM AND I HAVEN'T HAD SEX.     437 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:35,781  - OH, JESUS--  438 00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:36,949    - I'M DONE WITH THAT ASSHOLE!     439 00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:38,784  NO! NO! NO!  440 00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:40,686     - DO NOT BREAK UP WITH HIM.       I AM THE ASSHOLE.  441 00:18:40,719 --> 00:18:41,854  NOT ADAM.  442 00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:44,156      YOU ARE A TERRIFIC GIRL.  443 00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,358  AND I KNOW ADAM   REALLY CARES ABOUT YOU.  444 00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:49,962  SO JUST PROMISE ME   YOU'LL THINK ABOUT IT.  445 00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:51,330      - DON'T DO ANYTHING RASH.  446 00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,832    AND I USE THAT TERM LOOSELY.      447 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,669  - [sighs]  448 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,211  - [sighs]  449 00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:08,680  - I CAN'T FIND MY   FAVORITE SWEATER.  450 00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:11,583     AND I JUST HOPE IT ISN'T IN       HERE, GETTING INFESTED.  451 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:14,953     OTHERWISE, MY DRY-CLEANING       BILL IS GOING TO BE HUGE.  452 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,356     YOU MUST BE SO SKEEVED OUT.      453 00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:18,624  CRABS!  454 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,192  ON ALL OF YOUR STUFF.  455 00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:23,829  YOU'VE HAD HUNDREDS OF     PARASITES LIVING ON YOUR VAG.     456 00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:26,632  I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE.  457 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,367    - HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN SOPHMORE      YEAR AND YOUR SEMESTER  458 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,535  OF SYPHILIS?  459 00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:30,769  - THAT WAS IN COLLEGE.  460 00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:33,572  AND I GOT THEM FROM MY   BOYFRIEND, NOT MY SON.  461 00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:36,208  - GRANTED, IT'S NOT   ADAM'S FINEST HOUR.  462 00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:38,310     - DO YOU THINK YOU HELD HIM          ENOUGH WHEN HE WAS A BABY?  463 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,846  - WHAT?     - ALL THE PARENTING BOOKS SAY     464 00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:44,183  A MOTHER'S TOUCH IS A VITAL PART       OF A CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT.  465 00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:45,851  - NO OFFENSE, REBECCA,  466 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,053     BUT I DON'T NEED A BOOK TO     TE ME HOW TO RAISE MY SON.  467 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:51,123  - IT ISN'T CHEATING TO   ASK FOR HELP, CATHY.  468 00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:52,724     FROM A BOOK, FROM A FRIEND.      469 00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,460  I WAS RIGHT ABOUT   ADAM HAVING SEX,  470 00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:57,029  WASN'T I?   - YOU WERE HALF RIGHT.  471 00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:00,499      - AND NOW THANKS TO YOU,   I ACCUSED MIA OF BEING A SLUT,     472 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,867  AND NOW I'VE MADE   EVERYTHING WORSE.  473 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,068     - I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.  474 00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:04,870      - PARENTING IS NOT ABOUT   GUESSING WHEN YOUR KID  475 00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:06,138  IS HAVING SEX.  476 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:08,907      IT'S ABOUT COMMUNICATING   BEFORE SEX HAPPENS.  477 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,742     - YEAH, HOW'S THAT WORKING   OUT FOR YOU?  478 00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:12,978  - HERE!   HERE'S YOUR SWEATER.  479 00:20:13,011 --> 00:20:14,646  - [gasps]   GREAT!  480 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,282  THANK YOU.  481 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:22,421  [doorbell rings]  482 00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,856  - HEY.   UH, SORRY I'M LATE.  483 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,858      BUT, UH, WE STILL GOT AN   HOUR TILL MOVIE STARTS.  484 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,594  SO YOU READY TO GO?  485 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:31,063  - I DON'T KNOW.  486 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,931  IS THERE ANYTHING YOU   WANT TO TELL ME FIRST?  487 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,167  - NOT REALLY.  488 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,270  - THERE'S NOTHING NEW   GOING ON WITH YOU?  489 00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:42,674  - NO, NO. JUST   THE SAME OLD CRAP.  490 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:47,045  - YOUR MOM TOLD   ME ABOUT YOUR CRABS.  491 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,782  YEAH, SO WHOEVER YOU   ARE SLEEPING WITH,  492 00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:53,585  I HOPE THAT SHE KNOWS   WHAT A PIG YOU ARE.  493 00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,287  AND I DON'T EVER   WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.  494 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,521  - WHAT?   NO, WAIT!  495 00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:58,023  WAIT.  496 00:20:58,056 --> 00:21:00,692    OKAY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT.         SHE BASICALLY ATTACKED ME.  497 00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:02,894  COME ON!  498 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:06,832  I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DUMP         ME WHEN MY MOM IS SO SICK.  499 00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,145  - HEY, HONEY.  500 00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:21,980  - PAUL, YOU SHOULDN'T   COME HOME FOR LUNCH.  501 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,348  YOU JUST END UP   INHALING YOUR FOOD  502 00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:24,549  AND THEN RACING   OUT THE DOOR AGAIN.  503 00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:25,751  YOU'LL GET HEARTBURN.  504 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,853  - BUT IT IS SO WORTH IT  505 00:21:27,886 --> 00:21:29,454  FOR THE 45 MINUTES   OF FREEDOM.  506 00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:32,124  [bicycle crashes]  507 00:21:32,157 --> 00:21:34,693     - WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO,       MOM?  508 00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:36,295  - EXCUSE ME?  509 00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:37,629  - WHY DID YOU TELL   MIA I HAD CRABS?  510 00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,331     YOU JUST FUCKED EVERYTHING   UP BETWEEN ME AND HER.  511 00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:40,832  - HEY!   YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH!  512 00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:42,668  - YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS,         THEN LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS.      513 00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:44,202  BUT DON'T YOU DARE   YELL AT ME LIKE THAT.  514 00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:47,439  I'M YOUR MOTHER.   YOU ARE 15 YEARS OLD.  515 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,775  AND YOU HAVEN'T BEEN   HONEST WITH US.  516 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,476  WHO ARE YOU SLEEPING   WITH OTHER THAN MIA?  517 00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:52,878  JESUS!      MOM, YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW      518 00:21:52,911 --> 00:21:54,980      EVERY DETAIL OF MY LIFE.  519 00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:57,649  - OKAY.     THEN HOW BOUT JUST THE DETAIL     520 00:21:57,683 --> 00:22:00,952  THAT INVOLVES GIVING   THE ENTIRE FAMILY VD.  521 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:04,790  - OKAY, FINE.   I HAD SEX WITH A FUCKING HOOKER.  522 00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:09,861  - WHAT DID YOU SAY?  523 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:16,301  - I DON'T KNOW HOW TO   PARENT YOU ANYMORE.  524 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,203    I'VE TRIED MICROMANAGING YOU.     525 00:22:18,236 --> 00:22:20,005  I'VE TRIED      THE LAISSEZ-FAIRE APPROACH.      526 00:22:20,038 --> 00:22:21,506      SO WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME   WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?  527 00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:23,342      - HOW ABOUT YOU JUST STOP   FUCKING WITH MY LIFE?  528 00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:24,776  - WHOA, WHOA,   WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!  529 00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:26,611  - WHY DON'T YOU     STOP FUCKING WITH OUR LIVES?      530 00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:30,048  OH, AND STOP FUCKING.  531 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:32,951  YOU BROUGHT A DISEASE   INTO OUR HOME  532 00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:34,820      THAT NOW WE'RE ALL FORCED   TO DEAL WITH.  533 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:37,189  YEAH, WELL NOW YOU KNOW   HOW IT FEELS.  534 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:49,801  - HEY, BUDDY.  535 00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:50,969  - HEY, OWEN.  536 00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:53,605      - FEW MINUTES LATE, HUH?  537 00:22:53,638 --> 00:22:54,873  NO WORRIES, IT'S COOL.  538 00:22:54,906 --> 00:22:55,907  - THANKS, MAN.  539 00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:58,110  HEY, UH, OWEN LOOK.  540 00:22:58,143 --> 00:23:00,612      MYK IS REALLY INTERESTED   IN INTERVIEWING  541 00:23:00,645 --> 00:23:02,347  FOR THAT JOB   ON THE SALES FLOOR.  542 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,349  ANY CHANCE HE CAN CHAT   WITH YOU ABOUT THAT?  543 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,084    - YEAH, HE'S BEEN BUGGING ME       ABOUT THAT FOR WEEKS.  544 00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:07,753      IT'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING.  545 00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:09,254    THERE'S, LIKE, TEN DIFFERENT       ACCENTS IN THIS STORE.  546 00:23:09,287 --> 00:23:12,324    MEANWHILE, MY BROTHER'S BEEN          OUT OF WORK FOR TWO YEARS.  547 00:23:12,357 --> 00:23:14,025  CAN'T GET HIS FOOT   IN THE DOOR ANYWHERE.  548 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:15,961      FUCKING RETARDED, RIGHT?  549 00:23:15,994 --> 00:23:17,462  - HEY, WATCH IT.  550 00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:20,465    MY GRANDFATHER HAD AN ACCENT.         I MEAN, A BROGUE ACTUALLY.  551 00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:22,401      BUT, UH, EVERYBODY'S FROM   SOMEWHERE, RIGHT OWEN?  552 00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:23,568     I MEAN, IT'S A GOOD THING.  553 00:23:23,602 --> 00:23:25,103    - A HUNDRED YEARS AGO MAYBE.      554 00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:27,706      BEFORE EVERYBODY DECIDED   TO FUCK AMERICA OVER.  555 00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,274  CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM   WITH CUSTOMERS?  556 00:23:29,307 --> 00:23:30,542     "HELLO, MY NAME IS MIKHAIL.      557 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:32,444  CAN I PLEASE TO HELP   YOU PLEASE?"  558 00:23:32,477 --> 00:23:35,113  - LISTEN, YOU FUCKING   LITTLE WEASEL.  559 00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:36,615  - CALM DOWN, PAUL.   SHIT.  560 00:23:36,648 --> 00:23:38,417     - YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT SHIT           'CAUSE YOUR NAME TAG SAYS  561 00:23:38,450 --> 00:23:40,218  ASSISTANT MANAGER.  562 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,454    YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY TO WHAT           I'M ABOUT TO SAY TO YOU.  563 00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:45,023  THIS IS A SHIT JOB.   AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.  564 00:23:45,056 --> 00:23:46,525  - STOP YELLING AT ME.  565 00:23:46,558 --> 00:23:49,494  - THE WAY YOU TALK TO MYK IS NOT       ONLY WRONG, IT'S ILLEGAL.  566 00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:51,229  THIS IS THE UNITED   STATES OF AMERICA.  567 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:52,731  YOU WANT TO KEEP   YOUR LITTLE NAME TAG,  568 00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:56,735      YOU GET WITH THE PROGRAM,   FUCKING QUICK!  569 00:24:04,142 --> 00:24:07,112    YOU PEED IN YOUR PANTS, MAN?      570 00:24:09,314 --> 00:24:10,816  THAT'S AWESOME.  571 00:24:10,849 --> 00:24:13,185  [door knocking]  572 00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:15,253  - THANK YOU.   I GOT THE PROMOTION.  573 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,955  - WAY TO GO, MYK!  574 00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:18,123  HEY!  575 00:24:18,156 --> 00:24:20,125  WOW, FANCY VODKA.   IS THAT, LIKE,  576 00:24:20,158 --> 00:24:22,994  REAL GOLD FLAKES   IN THE BOTTLE?  577 00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:24,396  THAT IS SO COOL!  578 00:24:24,429 --> 00:24:26,565  - THAT'S FOR YOUR   DAUGHTER ANDREA TOO.  579 00:24:26,598 --> 00:24:29,034    AND THANKS TO HER, MAN, I WAS      ALREADY AN EXPERIENCED SALESMAN    580 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:31,937  WHEN I TALKED TO OWEN.  581 00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:34,973  CAN I ASK YOU   SOMETHING ABOUT HER?  582 00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:36,208  - SHOOT.  583 00:24:36,241 --> 00:24:38,677  - WOULD IT BE OKAY IF   I ASK HER OUT?  584 00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:40,245  - GO AHEAD.  585 00:24:40,278 --> 00:24:41,780  ASK ME.  586 00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,748     - ANDREA, WOULD YOU LIKE--  587 00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:45,484      - I'M JUST GONNA TELL YOU   STRAIGHT UP.  588 00:24:45,517 --> 00:24:47,652     IF YOU'RE A CHUBBY CHASER,   YOU'RE SHIT OUT OF LUCK  589 00:24:47,686 --> 00:24:49,521  'CAUSE I DON'T DO NOTHING FREAKY   WITH MY FAT.  590 00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:52,023  NOW I DON'T SEE MYSELF   AS SKINNY,  591 00:24:52,057 --> 00:24:54,159  BUT I DO SEE MYSELF   AS A LADY.  592 00:24:54,192 --> 00:24:57,629      SO YOU BEST COME CORRECT.  593 00:24:59,297 --> 00:25:01,166    - IS THAT AMERICAN FOR "YES?"     594 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,473  - SO WHY ARE YOU GUYS   OUT OF YOUR CARS?  595 00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,442  - OH, HI, CATHY.      PRACTICE HAS BEEN CANCELED  596 00:25:10,475 --> 00:25:13,712  UNTIL WE CAN FIGURE OUT       THIS COACHING SITUATION.  597 00:25:13,745 --> 00:25:18,650  IT'S COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT         YOU HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM  598 00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:20,352  WITH YOUR PRIVATE AREA.  599 00:25:20,385 --> 00:25:22,454  - WHAT?      - I KNOW IT'S EMBARRASSING.      600 00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:24,523  BUT IT'S HARD TO HIDE   SOMETHING LIKE THIS  601 00:25:24,556 --> 00:25:26,091  IN THE AGE OF FACEBOOK.  602 00:25:26,124 --> 00:25:28,894  - I DON'T HAVE CRABS.   I HAD CRABS.  603 00:25:28,927 --> 00:25:30,395  YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME   FIRED BECAUSE OF THAT?  604 00:25:30,428 --> 00:25:31,563  - NO, NO.  605 00:25:31,596 --> 00:25:33,231  WE'RE SIMPLY ASKING   YOU TO STEP ASIDE.  606 00:25:33,265 --> 00:25:35,066  WE REALLY APPRECIATE       YOU FILLING IN AS COACH.  607 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:36,902  NO, I AM THE COACH.  608 00:25:36,935 --> 00:25:38,537      - YOU EXPOSED THESE KIDS  609 00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:41,373    TO A POTENTIAL HEALTH RISK BY      GETTING IN THAT POOL.  610 00:25:41,406 --> 00:25:42,707  - ON TOP OF THE OTHER DISEASE.     611 00:25:42,741 --> 00:25:44,676  - EXCUSE ME?   - LET'S FACE IT.  612 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:46,878     NOBODY'S TALKING ABOUT THE   ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.  613 00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:49,047    THE FACT IS YOU HAVE CANCER.      614 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,149    HOW ARE YOU GONNA COACH WHEN       YOU'RE IN AND OUT OF HOSPITALS?    615 00:25:51,182 --> 00:25:52,584  I MEAN WHO KNOWS WHAT   ELSE IS GOING  616 00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:53,919  TO GO WRONG   WITH YOU THIS YEAR?  617 00:25:53,952 --> 00:25:56,187     - WE'RE CONCERNED ABOUT THE       FUTURE OF THE TEAM.  618 00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:57,622  AND YOU, OF COURSE.  619 00:25:57,656 --> 00:26:00,191      - IS THIS ABOUT MY CRABS   OR MY CANCER?  620 00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,561     - THIS IS ABOUT MY DAUGHTER       GETTING A SWIMMING SCHOLARSHIP     621 00:26:02,594 --> 00:26:04,462  TO PAY FOR COLLEGE.  622 00:26:04,496 --> 00:26:06,331    - THIS JOB MAY MAKE YOU FEEL         GOOD, BUT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT     623 00:26:06,364 --> 00:26:07,532  GRETA'S FUTURE HERE.  624 00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:09,167     - IF THIS IS HOW YOU FEEL,  625 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,136  WHY DID YOU HIRE ME   IN THE FIRST PLACE?  626 00:26:11,169 --> 00:26:14,639  - EVERYBODY'S AFRAID TO SAY NO          TO THE LADY WITH CANCER.  627 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:20,745  - WOW!  628 00:26:23,348 --> 00:26:26,885  CONGRATULATIONS TO ME,       I GOT MY FIRST PITY JOB.  629 00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:29,454      NOW, I'D TELL YOU TO TAKE   YOUR PITY AND SHOVE IT,  630 00:26:29,487 --> 00:26:32,190  BUT YOU KNOW WHAT...  631 00:26:32,223 --> 00:26:33,959  I DON'T CARE.  632 00:26:33,992 --> 00:26:36,461  I MEAN, IF THIS IS WHY I GOT THE     JOB, SCREW IT, I'LL TAKE IT.      633 00:26:36,494 --> 00:26:38,096  BECAUSE I LOVE MY JOB.  634 00:26:38,129 --> 00:26:39,764  YOU MAY HAVE HIRED ME   FOR THE WRONG REASONS,  635 00:26:39,798 --> 00:26:43,635  BUT IF YOU TRY AND FIRE   THE LADY WITH CANCER,  636 00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:45,704  YOU BETTER HIRE   A DAMN GOOD LAWYER.  637 00:26:45,737 --> 00:26:50,241  - WHAT A BITCH!   - YEAH, I AM A BITCH!  638 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:54,546      I'M A TOUGH, BRAVE BITCH.  639 00:26:54,579 --> 00:26:56,281  AND IF YOU LET ME,   I WILL TURN  640 00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:59,017  ALL OF THESE GIRLS     INTO TOUGH BRAVE BITCHES TOO.     641 00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:02,153  WHO COULD GO ALL THE       WAY TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP.  642 00:27:02,187 --> 00:27:04,389  NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND,  643 00:27:04,422 --> 00:27:06,625     I'M GOING TO TAKE MY TEAM,   WHOEVER'S STILL ON IT,  644 00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:09,661  OUT FOR A RUN.  645 00:27:09,694 --> 00:27:12,998      Captioning by  CaptionMax   www.captionmax.com  77962

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