All language subtitles for The Big C S01E10 Divine Intervention 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,237  I CANNOT BELIEVE   I AM SEEING YOU.  2 00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:05,939  REBECCA.   - IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME  3 00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:07,307  TO DO LAUNDRY, SIS.  4 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,575     - WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND I      5 00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:10,377  MAKE A LITTLE FUN   OF OUR OWN?  6 00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:12,412  - I GOT A HAND JOB.   - THE RUGBY SLUT?  7 00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:15,682     - DO YOU PREFER WHITE WOMEN       OR BLACK WOMEN?  8 00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:18,018  - [laughs]  9 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,686     - YOU SLEPT WITH THIS COW?   - NO.  10 00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:22,088  - I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH     FOR YOUR SCRAWNY, VIRGIN ASS?     11 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,324  FUCK YOU   AND YOUR WHOLE FUCKED-UP FAMILY.  12 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,893  - MY PUNISHMENT   IS DRIVING MYSELF HOME?  13 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:29,562      - HE HAS SEVEN STITCHES,   BUT HE'S GONNA BE FINE.  14 00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:30,530  WHERE WERE YOU, HONEY?  15 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:31,598  I TRIED TO CALL YOU.  16 00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:32,899    - I COULDN'T HEAR THE PHONE.      17 00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:34,501  - I SAW YOU.   - PAUL.  18 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,804  - I WANT A DIVORCE.  19 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,882  [Leftover Cuties'   Game Called Life]  20 00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,917  - ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪  21 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:55,855     ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪  22 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,724  ♪ ♪  23 00:00:57,757 --> 00:00:59,659  ♪ STEP OUT ♪  24 00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:02,695      ♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪  25 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,533  ♪ ♪  26 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:10,637  ♪ IS THIS   SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪  27 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:14,874  ♪ WILL SOMEONE   WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪  28 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:20,313     ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST       A GAME WE PLAY ♪  29 00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:25,685  ♪ CALLED LIFE ♪  30 00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:33,626  - HEY, MOM,   I'M GOING TO BRENT'S.  31 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:34,828  - NO!   ADAM.  32 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:37,263  ADAM, YOU ARE SUPPOSED   TO BE IN BED.  33 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,398  YOU HAVE A CONCUSSION.  34 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,866      - HAD A CONCUSSION, MOM.  35 00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:41,067  - YOU ARE STILL--  36 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,169  YOU'RE RECOVERING   FROM THE ACCIDENT.  37 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,305  I DON'T WANT YOU TO END UP LIKE       ONE OF THOSE FOOTBALL PLAYERS     38 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:46,406  THAT DIDN'T LISTEN   TO THEIR DOCTOR,  39 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,540    AND NOW IT'S TEN YEARS LATER,     40 00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,008  AND THEY DON'T KNOW   HOW TO MAKE TOAST.  41 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,410     - MOM, I'M JUST GONNA PLAY   VIDEO GAMES.  42 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:51,978  IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA   GO OUTSIDE AND, LIKE,  43 00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:54,681  BANG MY HEAD   AGAINST THE CURB.  44 00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:55,849  - FINE.  45 00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,618  BUT YOU JUST PROMISE ME   YOU WILL TAKE IT EASY.  46 00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:00,120  - YES.   I WILL WEAR A HELMET  47 00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:01,321  IN HIS LIVING ROOM.  48 00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,423  - YOU'RE JOKING,   BUT I'D PREFER THAT.  49 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:06,826  HERE.   WAIT, WAIT ONE SECOND.  50 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,965  OKAY.   SAY CHEESE.  51 00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:14,067  - CHEESE.  52 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,970  YOU'RE SO WEIRD.  53 00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:22,642  - YOU KNOW, I SPECIFICALLY ASKED   THAT YAHOO AT THE STORE  54 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:23,910  FOR THIS PAINT IN FLAT.  55 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:25,778      THIS IS DEFINITELY SHINY.  56 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:26,913  IT MAKES THE WALLS LOOK  57 00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,281    LIKE THEY'RE COVERED IN SNOT       OR SOMETHING.  58 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:32,018  - IT IS LOOKING   PRETTY SNOTTY.  59 00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:34,287  PAUL WANTS A DIVORCE.   - AH, HELL.  60 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,055     - WELL, I CAN'T BLAME HIM.  61 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,457  I MEAN, REALLY, WHAT WA?  62 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,492  HE CAUGHT ME HAVING   AN AFFAIR.  63 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,928  - JUST BECAUSE   YOU HAVE CANCER  64 00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:45,665     DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT      TO BE A DESTRUCTIVE BITCH.  65 00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:48,101  - WOW.  66 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:50,537  IF YOU ASK ME, YOU NEED TO GET         YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS.  67 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:55,208  'CAUSE YOU'VE REALLY     MESSED SHIT UP FOR YOURSELF.      68 00:02:57,977 --> 00:02:59,412      SORRY ABOUT SLAPPING YOU.  69 00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:03,883  - GUESS SOMEBODY NEEDED   TO DO IT.  70 00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:10,323  - HEY! ARE YOU REALLY   NOT RETURNING MY CALLS  71 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,125  BECAUSE I'M FUCKING   YOUR BROTHER?  72 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,826  - WILL YOU KEEP   YOUR VOICE DOWN?  73 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,562      THIS IS MY NEIGHBORHOOD.  74 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:16,863  - SORRY.  75 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,264  SCREWING YOUR BROTHER?  76 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:19,599  - WELL, YOU'RE USING   THE PRESENT TENSE,  77 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,501  SO I ASSUME   THE ROMANCE CONTINUES.  78 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,970  - YEAH. WE MADE       THE SWEATY HUMPBACK BEAST  79 00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,004  JUST THIS MORNING.  80 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,406     - I HAVE A CLASS TO TEACH.   - HEY!  81 00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:27,407  IT WAS A JOKE.  82 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,375  REMEMBER JOKES?  83 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,044  ANYWAY, I'M NOT HERE   TO TALK ABOUT SEAN.  84 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:33,446  I...  85 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,782  I JUST--I'M IN TOWN,   AND I WOULD LIKE  86 00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,617  TO SEE YOU AND CATCH UP   AND BE FRIENDS.  87 00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:39,252  HOW IS THAT A PROBLEM?  88 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,921  - IT'S A PROBLEM   BECAUSE YOU MAKE IT A PROBLEM.     89 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,057  BECAUSE OUR FRIENDSHIP   HAS ALWAYS COME SECOND  90 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,959  TO YOUR DALLIANCES   WITH MEN,  91 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,761  AND NOW THE DALLIANCE   IS MY BROTHER.  92 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,997  AND I DON'T WANT TO BE   AT SOME LADIES LUNCH  93 00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:53,266  AND HAVE YOU TELL ME   ABOUT SEAN'S PENIS  94 00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,501  AND IF IT'S SMALLER   OR LARGER OR OTHERWISE  95 00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:57,036  THAN WHAT YOU'RE   ACCUSTOMED TO.  96 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,072      NOW I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.  97 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:01,341  - YOU KNOW,   THIS ISN'T ALL ME.  98 00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,542  FROM THE MINUTE   YOU MET PAUL,  99 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:03,543     HE'S ALL YOU TALKED ABOUT.  100 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,677     AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW,  101 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:06,546  YOU WERE LIVING     THE SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE DREAM,     102 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,515  AND MAKING ME   FEEL RIDICULOUS  103 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,951  FOR MY PARTYING   AND MY SERIAL DATING,  104 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:15,088  BUT WHAT THE HELL ELSE   WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?  105 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:17,323    NOBODY FELL IN LOVE WITH ME.      106 00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:21,427  - WELL...  107 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,630    I GUESS WE'RE BOTH SCREW-UPS.     108 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:26,466      MAYBE WE SHOULD BREAK UP.   HUH.  109 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,234  WE ALREADY DID.  110 00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:35,975  - ARE WE BACK   TO WHERE WE STARTED?  111 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,143     WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU?  112 00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,778  YOU'RE SHOWING UP LATE   TO CLASS.  113 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:41,047     YOU'RE SKIPPING WEIGH-INS.   GET INSIDE.  114 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,615  CLASS STARTED   TEN MINUTES AGO.  115 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,250      - I'M NOT GOING TO CLASS.  116 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,319  IN FACT,       I'M DROPPING YOUR CLASS.  117 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,887     I JUST CAME TO GET MY SHIT.      118 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,856  - WHAT?  119 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,458  - YEAH, I DON'T LIKE   THE WAY YOU TEACH.  120 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,727  - YOU CAN'T DROP OUT.  121 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,062  IF YOU DON'T   FINISH THIS CLASS,  122 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:57,497  YOU DON'T GET   TO GRADUATE NEXT YEAR.  123 00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:58,865  - OH, WELL.  124 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,768  - "OH, WELL"?  125 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,903     I HAVE BENT OVER BACKWARDS   FOR YOU.  126 00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:06,105  - IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU,   ISN'T IT?  127 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,141  IT MUST BE SO NICE   TO BE YOU.  128 00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:10,710  PRETTY WHITE GIRL   LIVING IN SUBURBIA  129 00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:13,313  WHOSE BIGGEST CONCERN       IS "FINDING AN EYE SHADOW  130 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,614  THAT DOESN'T   TOTALLY WASH HER OUT."  131 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:18,618  TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES   FOR A FUCKING DAY--  132 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,920  GROWING UP IN THE 'HOOD,  133 00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:22,655     HAVING TO HIT A DRIVE-THRU   FOR BREAKFAST  134 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,791  BECAUSE MOMMY SPENT     THE LAST OF THE GROCERY MONEY     135 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:25,925  ON HER MORNING FIX.  136 00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:29,195  BUT THAT'S OKAY.       I CAN ALWAYS RELY ON DAD.  137 00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:30,396  WAIT. I CAN'T.  138 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,664      'CAUSE WHEN I WAS A BABY,  139 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,567  HE WAS SHOT TO DEATH     TRYING TO ROB A LIQUOR STORE.     140 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,269  SO EXCUSE THE FUCK   OUT OF ME  141 00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:39,205    IF I'M NOT THE MODEL STUDENT       YOU WANT ME TO BE.  142 00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:42,642  - I DIDN'T KNOW.  143 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:46,946     - WE ALL HAVE OUR SECRETS,   DON'T WE?  144 00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:48,781  - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?  145 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:51,551  - I KNOW   YOU'RE FUCKING THAT PAINTER MAN.  146 00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:54,120  YEAH.   I KNOW A LOT OF THINGS.  147 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:56,155  THAT YOU'RE   A SELF-RIGHTEOUS SLUT.  148 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,024  THAT YOUR SON'S   A JUDGMENTAL ASSHOLE.  149 00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:00,360  AND THAT I'M THROUGH       WITH YOUR SORRY-ASS CLASS  150 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:02,528      AND THIS WHO SORRY-ASS   FUCKING SCHOOL.  151 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,597  - ANDREA.  152 00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:10,169  SHIT.  153 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,939  [chatter]  154 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:15,875  - HOW 'BOUT ANOTHER      LITTLE SPLASH THERE, CHIEF?      155 00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:20,480  - HEY.   BUY A LADY A DRINK?  156 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,949  - SHOW ME A LADY,   AND I MIGHT.  157 00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:25,051  - OH-HO.   FUCK YOU, PAULY.  158 00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:29,155  - [laughs]   ONE FOR THE LADY.  159 00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,557     - I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU AROUND          THE RUGBY FIELD IN A WHILE.      160 00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,760  I HOPE       I DIDN'T SCARE YOU AWAY.  161 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:35,461  - NAH.  162 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:39,165  JUST A LITTLE LIGAMENT DAMAGE,      YOU KNOW.  163 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:42,668  VERY COMMON INJURY   IN ELITE ATHLETES.  164 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:45,405  ON TOP OF THAT,   THE REST OF MY LIFE--  165 00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:48,574    COMPLETE FUCKING CLUSTERFUCK.     166 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,810  - UGH.   JOIN THE CLUB.  167 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:54,013  LAST WEEK, MY CAT WAS DIAGNOSED     WITH FELINE LEUKEMIA.  168 00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:56,616  AND THEN YESTERDAY   I DROP MY iPHONE  169 00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:57,750  INTO THE TOILET  170 00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:00,086     WHILE I WAS VIDEO-CHATTING   WITH A CLIENT.  171 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,889  AND I HOPE   THAT VIDEO FRIED OUT  172 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,425     BEFORE HE GOT A POTTY SHOT   OF MY POOTER.  173 00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,326  [laughs]  174 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,928  ARE YOU OKAY?  175 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:12,231  - CATHY AND I   ARE GETTING A DIVORCE.  176 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,334  - MM.   SORRY.  177 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,836  I KNOW YOU GUYS   WERE HAVING PROBLEMS.  178 00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:18,971    - SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING.     179 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:22,241     YOU KNOW, I KNEW SOMETHING   WAS UP FOR A WHILE,  180 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,776      BUT I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT   WHAT IT WAS.  181 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:26,679    AND THEN, A COUPLE DAYS AGO,       GET THIS.  182 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:28,748  I CATCH HER   IN OUR OWN BACKYARD  183 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,817  FUCKING SOME GUY.  184 00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:31,884  - HOLY SHIT.  185 00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:35,721  [exhales]   I'M SO SORRY, PAULY.  186 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:37,924  - THANK YOU, TINA.   I MEAN IT.  187 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,659    IT ACTUALLY FEELS REALLY GOOD      TO TALK ABOUT.  188 00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,861      YOU KNOW, TO TELL SOMEONE  189 00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:43,963  AND HAVE THEM LISTEN,   YOU KNOW?  190 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:45,531  - YEAH, I DO.  191 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:47,700  ANYWAY, SCREW CATHY.   IT'S HER LOSS.  192 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,902  I SAY WE DRINK UNTIL WE GET HER     OFF YOUR MIND.  193 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,938  - GET WHO OFF MY MIND?  194 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,273  - [giggles]  195 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,808      TO A NEWLY SINGLE PAULY.  196 00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,543  - HELL, YEAH.  197 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,145  - TELL ME MORE   ABOUT HOW BAD YOU ARE.  198 00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:00,546  - I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.  199 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,482     CATHY HAS ZAPPED MY LIBIDO.      200 00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:05,318  - OH, THAT BITCH!  201 00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:06,619  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?  202 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,888  - SHE HATES THE FACT   THAT I'M SEEING YOU,  203 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,056  AND I GET IT.  204 00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:11,657  I HAVEN'T SEEN HER   FOR 20 YEARS,  205 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:14,327  AND I SHOW UP,   AND I START DOING  206 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,528  WHATEVER WE'RE DOING,  207 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:17,330  AND I'VE DONE      THIS KIND OF THING BEFORE.  208 00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:19,332  - WITH WHO?   I'M HER ONLY BROTHER.  209 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,801    - IF WE COULD JUST MAKE THIS      210 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,370      LESS JUST ABOUT THE SEX,   I'D FEEL BETTER.  211 00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:26,973  WE COULD NURTURE   OUR FRIENDSHIP,  212 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:30,243    AND THEN MAYBE I COULD REPAIR      MY FRIENDSHIP WITH HER.  213 00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,614  - ALL RIGHT, FINE.  214 00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:38,050  TALKING ABOUT MY SISTER   HAS MADE ME LOSE MY SEMI ANYWAY.  215 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:41,287  - [laughs]  216 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,757  SO, UM,  217 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,627  I THINK iPHONES   ARE THE NEW DIAMONDS.  218 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:50,696  GUYS GIVE WOMEN ELECTRONICS NOW     FOR ROMANTIC OCCASIONS,  219 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,365      AND IT'S KIND OF A SHAME.  220 00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:56,202      - GIFT-GIVING IN GENERAL   IS KIND OF A SHAME.  221 00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,771  CAN WE AT LEAST TALK   ABOUT THIS WITH OUR PANTS OFF?     222 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,597  [doorbell rings]  223 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,468  - I'M SORRY.  224 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,237  I'M LOOKING      FOR THE JACKSON RESIDENCE.  225 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:32,872  - WELL, THIS IS IT.   CAN I HELP YOU?  226 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:36,842  - I'M ANDREA'S TEACHER,   CATHY JAMISON.  227 00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:40,413  - OH, IT'S SO NICE   TO MEET YOU.  228 00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:42,081  I'M DOROTHY,   ANDREA'S MOTHER.  229 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:44,483  ANDREA'S TOLD US   SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.  230 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,319  - SHE'S TOLD ME A LOT   ABOUT YOU TOO.  231 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,421  - WELL, SHE ABSOLUTELY   ADORES YOU.  232 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,089  SAYS YOU'RE   HER FAVORITE TEACHER.  233 00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:51,757  WELL, HERE,   COME ON IN.  234 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:56,162  - THANK YOU.  235 00:09:56,195 --> 00:09:58,831  - DONOVAN!   WE HAVE COMPANY.  236 00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:01,634     - I'M IN THE KITCHEN, HON.  237 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,337    - MMM, SMELLS GOOD IN THERE.       WHAT IS IT?  238 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:08,174  - MAKING STEAK.  239 00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,176  - DONOVAN, HONEY,   THIS IS CATHY,  240 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,545  THE TEACHER ANDREA'S       ALWAYS TELLING US ABOUT.  241 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:15,114  THIS IS ANDREA DAD.  242 00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:16,882      - SO YOU'RE HER STEPDAD?  243 00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:19,719  - NO. THE REAL DEAL.  244 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:22,288      ANDREA'S OUR LAST OF SIX.  245 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:26,459    - I-I MUST HAVE BEEN THINKING      ABOUT ANOTHER STUDENT.  246 00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,194  - [laughs]   YOU KNOW, ANDREA SURE DOES GO ON  247 00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:29,328  ABOUT YOU.  248 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:32,331      - WELL, SHE EXAGGERATES.  249 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,200  - WELL,      SHE SURE WASN'T REAL HAPPY  250 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,901     TO BE TAKING SUMMER SCHOOL.      251 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,470      CALLED IT RETARD SCHOOL.  252 00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:39,839  OH, SHE CAN BE CRASS,   THAT ONE.  253 00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:42,508  BUT SHE STUCK WITH IT   AND REALLY TURNED THINGS AROUND.  254 00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:44,844  - WE'VE HAD OUR TROUBLE   WITH HER.  255 00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,278    SHE'S OUR ACADEMIC CHALLENGE.     256 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,947  - MM-HMM.   WE TRIED EVERYTHING.  257 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,049    BUT YOU CAN'T LOVE 'EM SMART.     258 00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,852  - SO IS ANDREA HERE?  259 00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:54,086     - OH, YOU JUST MISSED HER.  260 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,588  SHE'S DOWN THE STREET   AT THE CHURCH.  261 00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:57,056  - AT CHOIR PRACTICE.  262 00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:58,858  BABY GIRL SINGS   LIKE A BIRD.  263 00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:00,593  - [laughs]  264 00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:04,363  - OKAY. OKAY.  265 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,998  UM, WHEN I WAS 18,  266 00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:08,567  I WAS      ON AN INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT,      267 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,604  AND I GAVE A BLOW JOB  268 00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:14,840  TO A COMPLETE STRANGER.  269 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,642  - ARE YOU SHITTING ME?   - NO.  270 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,678  OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.   YOUR TURN.  271 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,579    A SEXY OR EMBARRASSING STORY.      GO.  272 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:24,150  - I DON'T THINK THIS PAINTS ME         IN A VERY FLATTERING LIGHT.      273 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:27,787  BUT WHEN CATHY AND I     WERE GOING ON OUR HONEYMOON,      274 00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,855  I WANTED TO GO   TO THE SOUTH OF FRANCE  275 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:32,925  'CAUSE I WAS HOPING THERE MIGHT     BE SOME TOPLESS BEACHES THERE.     276 00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:36,095  [laughter]   - WHAT?  277 00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:38,864  YOU'RE NEWLY MARRIED   AND YOU WANT TO LOOK  278 00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,032  AT OTHER GIRLS' TITS?  279 00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:44,537  - I'M A TIT MAN.   SUE ME.  280 00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:46,772  - AH, THIS IS FUN.  281 00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,441  YOU'RE EASY TO TALK TO.  282 00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:50,342  I-I LIKE YOUR STORIES.  283 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,512      - YEAH. WELL, I ACTUALLY      ONLY HAVE ABOUT 15 OF THEM.      284 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,450     YOU GOT ME FOR ANOTHER HALF         HOUR, AND THEN I GET BORING.      285 00:11:57,483 --> 00:12:01,020  - ♪ I'M GONNA LAY DOWN   MY BURDENS ♪  286 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:04,490      ♪ DOWN BY THE RIVERSIDE ♪  287 00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:06,192      ♪ DOWN BY THE RIVERSIDE ♪  288 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:09,028      ♪ DOWN BY THE RIVERSIDE ♪  289 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:12,998  ♪ I'M GONNA LAY DOWN   MY BURDENS ♪  290 00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,834      ♪ DOWN BY THE RIVERSIDE ♪  291 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:19,905  ♪ STUDY WAR NO MORE ♪  292 00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:20,940  ♪ I AIN'T GONNA STUDY ♪  293 00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:23,375  ♪ WAR NO MORE ♪  294 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,445  ♪ AIN'T GONNA STUDY WAR   NO MORE ♪  295 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:30,449  ♪ STUDY WAR NO MORE ♪  296 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,951  - I LIKE YOUR HAT.  297 00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:34,120  - ♪ I'M GONNA LAY DOWN   MY SWORD AND SHIELD ♪  298 00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:37,389      ♪ DOWN BY THE RIVERSIDE ♪  299 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,960  - YOU KNOW,   I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED  300 00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:43,395  WHY BLACK WOMEN WEAR   THESE BEAUTIFUL HATS TO CHURCH.    301 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,499  I MEAN, WHENEVER MY DAD   WALKED INTO CHURCH,  302 00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:47,767     HE ALWAYS TOOK HIS HAT OFF.      303 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,402  WHEN HE WALKED       INTO ANY BUILDING REALLY.  304 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,072  NOT THAT HE WAS   ANY SHINING EXAMPLE OF ANYTHING.  305 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:56,475  - I WEAR A HAT   BECAUSE WOMEN--  306 00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:59,078     AND NOT JUST BLACK WOMEN--       SHOULD COVER THEIR HEADS  307 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,714     WHILE THEY'RE IN THE HOUSE   OF THE LORD.  308 00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:06,552  SAME REASON YOU JEWS   WEAR YARMULKES.  309 00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:10,556  - I'M NOT JEWISH.  310 00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:12,291  NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG     WITH BEING JEWISH.  311 00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:13,626     IT'S A BEAUTIFUL RELIGION.  312 00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:16,061  IT'S JUST...  313 00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,397  JESUS IS MY GUY.  314 00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:21,834  SORT OF. I MEAN, I HAVEN'T BEEN     TO CHURCH IN A REALLY LONG TIME.  315 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:25,037  - ♪ STUDY WAR NO... ♪  316 00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,807  - I DON'T THINK JESUS   WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR MANNERS.     317 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,775  - ♪ MORE ♪  318 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,378  - GOOD.   - AMEN.  319 00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:39,218    - THAT WAS REALLY BEAUTIFUL,       ANDREA.  320 00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:40,653     - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?  321 00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,021  - YOUR MOM TOLD ME   YOU WERE HERE.  322 00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:44,256  - MY MOM?   YOU WENT TO MY HOUSE?  323 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,560  - WELL, YOU KNOW, I HAD   TO SWING BY THE 'HOOD,  324 00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,663  MAKE SURE YOUR DRUG-ADDLED MOM      WASN'T DYING  325 00:13:50,696 --> 00:13:52,131  WITH A NEEDLE   STUCK BETWEEN HER TOES,  326 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,133      BECAUSE IF THAT HAPPENED,   YOU'D BE AN ORPHAN.  327 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:57,636      WHAT WITH YOUR DAD BEING   A DEAD FELON AND ALL.  328 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,338  WHY WOULD YOU LIE   TO ME ABOUT THAT?  329 00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,140  - WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU   TO CALL ME A LIAR?  330 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,976  MAYBE I LIED       BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU.  331 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,277      I DON'T NEED YOUR ADVICE.  332 00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:07,313  I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.   I DO JUST FINE.  333 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,581  THANK YOU.  334 00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,282  BESIDES, IT'S OBVIOUS       YOU ONLY CAME TO FIND ME  335 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:11,350  BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID  336 00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:12,551  I'LL TELL EVERYONE   ABOUT YOUR AFFAIR.  337 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,553  - I AM HERE       BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU.  338 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,355  I DON'T WANT YOU   QUITTING SCHOOL  339 00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,390  BECAUSE OF A MISTAKE   THAT I MADE.  340 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,226  AND JUST SO YOU KNOW,  341 00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:23,362      MY HUSBAND ALREADY KNOWS   ABOUT THE AFFAIR.  342 00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:25,998  - DOES ADAM KNOW?   - NO.  343 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,233  AND I WISH   YOU WOULDN'T TELL HIM,  344 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,335  BUT I CAN'T STOP YOU   IF YOU DO.  345 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,338    - YOU ARE SO NOT GOOD ENOUGH       FOR HIM.  346 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,939  - GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHO?  347 00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:36,508  - LENNY.  348 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,977  - OH, IS THAT   WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?  349 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,278  A CRUSH?  350 00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:40,880     YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON LENNY?   - WHAT?  351 00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:43,315      YOU THINK A GUY THAT FINE   WOULDN'T GO FOR A GIRL LIKE ME?    352 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:46,952  - I DON'T THINK HE'D GO FOR YOU        BECAUSE HE'S 25 YEARS OLDER      353 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:48,020  THAN YOU ARE.  354 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,923     DO NOT QUIT SCHOOL, ANDREA.      355 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,459  LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH   WITH AN EDUCATION.  356 00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:54,894  DON'T MAKE IT HARDER   ON YOURSELF.  357 00:14:54,927 --> 00:14:56,262  - GET OUT OF MY CHURCH,  358 00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:58,464    AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.      359 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,286  - IT'S NOT WEIRD   WE'RE DOING THIS  360 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:21,820      IN MY SISTER'S WATERBED,   RIGHT?  361 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:23,622    I MEAN, WE COULD BE DOING IT       IN HER GUEST ROOM,  362 00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:26,292     BUT THAT'S WHERE SHE KEEPS      HER CREEPY DOLL COLLECTION.      363 00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:30,362  BESIDES, THERE'S   A NICE POTPOURRI SCENT IN HERE.    364 00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,831  IT'S PLEASANT.   IT'S LIKE COUNTRY COTTAGE ROSE     365 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:38,037  OR SOME LAVENDER...  366 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:39,838  JESUS.  367 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:43,709    - I HOPE YOUR SISTER DOESN'T          MIND THAT I USED HER RAZOR.      368 00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:45,377  - UH-UH.  369 00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:54,620  OLD NUNS AND BASEBALL.  370 00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:59,625  OLD NUNS AND BASEBALL.   OLD NUNS AND BASEBALL.  371 00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:01,593  OLD NUNS AND BASEBALL.  372 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,763  - [giggles]  373 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,302  OH, SHIT.   - WHAT?  374 00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,838  - OH, SHIT.   I DON'T HAVE A CONDOM.  375 00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:15,908     MAYBE GO SEE IN THE KITCHEN          IF THERE'S SOME SARAN WRAP.      376 00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:17,376  SOMETHING LIKE THAT.  377 00:16:17,409 --> 00:16:18,444  - [giggles]  378 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,847  PAULY, SHUSH.  379 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,755  - IT'S A BIG ONE.   IT'SOO BIG.  380 00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:30,856  [laughter]  381 00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:32,358    - AND NOW SOME MORE FUN FACTS     382 00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:33,926    ABOUT OUR FORMER PRESIDENTS.       [laughter]  383 00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,194  LET'S SEE.  384 00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:37,396  WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT   WAS SO FAT  385 00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:39,231  THAT HE GOT STUCK   IN HIS OWN BATHTUB.  386 00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:40,399  [laughter]  387 00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:43,736      CONVERSELY, JAMES MADISON       WEIGHED ONLY 100 POUNDS.  388 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,138  WHICH IS IRONIC,      CONSIDERING THAT HIS WIFE,  389 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,240  DOLLEY MADISON,   WAS FEEDING HIM ZINGERS  390 00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:50,409  AND DONUT GEMS.   - SEAN.  391 00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:52,478  - OH.   HEY, SIS.  392 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:53,545  I'M JUST EDUCATING.  393 00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,014  WOULD YOU CARE   TO AUDIT THE CLASS?  394 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,315  - GET OUT HERE.  395 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,316  NOW.  396 00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:00,552  [class oohs]  397 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:03,522  READ. SOMETHING.  398 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,324  WHAT THE HELL   ARE YOU DOING?  399 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:06,592  - YOU'RE FUCKING   WITH MY LIFE.  400 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:08,227  I THOUGHT I'D ADD      A LITTLE WRINKLE TO YOURS.  401 00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:09,561    - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?     402 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:12,031  - REBECCA IS ABSTAINING   FROM SEX.  403 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,666  SHE'S ON SOME SORT   OF SACRIFICIAL MISSION  404 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,101     TO REGAIN YOUR FRIENDSHIP.  405 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,971  SORT OF A COCK   HUNGER STRIKE.  406 00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:20,139  - WHAT?   - YEAH.  407 00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:21,340  I DON'T FUCKING   GET IT EITHER.  408 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,975     I MEAN, IF I HAD TO CHOOSE   BETWEEN SPENDING TIME  409 00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:25,778  WITH YOUR PERSONALITY   OR MY PENIS,  410 00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,079  LITTLE SEAN'S   A HANDS-DOWN WINNER.  411 00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,214  - TELL HER   SHE'S WASTING HER TIME.  412 00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:30,482      AND YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY.  413 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,051  THE LONGEST SHE'S GONE   WITHOUT HAVING SEX  414 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:33,919      IS TWO WEEKS, AND THAT'S      BECAUSE SHE TORE HER LABIA  415 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,421  WHILE HORSEBACK RIDING   IN MAUI.  416 00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:39,091      I'VE GOT TO GET IN THERE   AND UNDO WHATEVER YOU'VE DONE.     417 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:46,999  [laughs]  418 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,301  - APSE.     WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?     419 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:52,571  - APSE. YOU KNOW,      LIKE THE FRONT OF A CHURCH.      420 00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:54,740  - YOU COULD HAVE   JUST SPELLED APES.  421 00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:57,443  - I PAID FOR     A FOUR-YEAR DEGREE, MARLENE.      422 00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:59,945  I WANT TO USE IT.  423 00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:01,346  YOU GO TO CHURCH?  424 00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,649  - EVERY SUNDAY.  425 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:06,752  - DO YOU GO   BECAUSE YOU WANT TO  426 00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:08,087  OR OUT OF OBLIGATION?  427 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,289  - IF YOU'RE ASKING   IF I BELIEVE IN GOD,  428 00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:12,157  THEN, YES, I DO.  429 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:14,326  PRAY EVERY DAY TOO.  430 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:15,861  - WHAT DO YOU PRAY FOR?  431 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:18,230  - USUAL STUFF I GUESS.  432 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,833  FOR MY FAMILY,      FOR EDDIE TO BE IN HEAVEN,  433 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,401     FOR ME TO JOIN HIM ONE DAY,      434 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:25,838  AND THAT, WHEN I DO,   FOR IT NOT TO HURT.  435 00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:29,775      - I USED TO GO TO CHURCH.  436 00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:32,911    MY PARENTS, THEY USED TO TAKE          SEAN AND ME ALL THE TIME.  437 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,347  AND THEN ONE SUMMER,   THIS FREAK TORNADO  438 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,616     TOOK OUT A BUNCH OF HOUSES   IN THE TOWN NEXT TO US  439 00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:41,053  AND KILLED THE PASTOR   AND HIS KIDS.  440 00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:43,622  AND WE STOPPED GOING.  441 00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:45,891  BUT...  442 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:49,895    NOW THAT I'M A DYING PERSON,      443 00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:54,566  I'M WONDERING IF I SHOULD REOPEN   MY SPIRITUAL OPTIONS.  444 00:18:56,401 --> 00:19:01,907  IF THERE IS A GOD,  445 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:05,244  DO YOU THINK HE COULD BRING ME      SOME SENSE OF PEACE?  446 00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:08,046    - HE'S NOT A MIRACLE WORKER.      447 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,848  - [laughs]  448 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,818  - I THINK   GOD GIVES US PROBLEMS  449 00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:14,720  SO WE CAN LEARN   TO DEAL WITH THEM,  450 00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:17,656  NOT SO HE CAN FIX 'EM.  451 00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:19,491  [door slams]   - WHAT'S UP, MOM?  452 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,895  HEY, MARLENE.   - HEY, HOTSHOT.  453 00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:27,366  I THINK   I'LL CALL IT A NIGHT.  454 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,134  - SAY A PRAYER   FOR ME, MARLENE.  455 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,404  - EVERY DAY.  456 00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:38,443  - I RAN INTO ANDREA,   AND SHE SAID YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.    457 00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:41,146  ANY IDEA   WHY SHE'D SAY THAT?  458 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,915  - PROBABLY ON THE RAG.   - ADAM.  459 00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:46,051  - WE HAD A FIGHT.   NO BIG DEAL.  460 00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:48,020    - TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO'S       PRETTY GOOD AT MAKING MISTAKES.    461 00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:50,722  IF THINGS ARE BAD   WITH ANDREA  462 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:51,857  BECAUSE OF SOMETHING   YOU DID,  463 00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:53,926  YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE.  464 00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:56,128  LIFE'S TOO SHORT.  465 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,833  - ♪ WHOA ♪   - ♪ WHOA ♪  466 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,803  - ♪ OHH ♪   - ♪ OHH ♪  467 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:07,005  - ♪ YOU CAUGHT ME ♪     - ♪ DANCING WITH THE SPIRIT ♪     468 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,341      - ♪ WELL, I GOT TO KEEP ♪  469 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:14,246  - ♪ GOT TO KEEP ♪   all: ♪ DANCING ♪  470 00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,547  [cheers and applause]  471 00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:17,783  - AMEN.  472 00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:21,954  I WATCHED MY KIDS   PLAY YAHTZEE YESTERDAY,  473 00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:24,723  AND ONE OF THE DICE   WENT OFF THE TABLE.  474 00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:28,694     AND THEY DEBATED WHAT TO DO           ABOUT THE OFFENDING DICE,  475 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:33,265  AND FINALLY AGREED   ON A DO-OVER.  476 00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:36,635  NOW I ASK YOU,   WOULDN'T IT BE NICE  477 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,737  AS ADULTS   TO HAVE A DO-OVER  478 00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:39,738  EVERY NOW AND THEN?  479 00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:41,073  [overlapping agreements   and cheers]  480 00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:46,411  WHO WANTS TO BE FREE   OF LIES AND HYPOCRISY  481 00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:49,681  AND BE REBORN   AND BEGIN AGAIN TODAY?  482 00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:51,316  WHO WANTS A DO-OVER?  483 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,986  - YEAH.   - HAVE MERCY.  484 00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:58,757  - SPEAK UP, AND LET THE   CONGREGATION PRAY FOR YOUR SINS.  485 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,125  - PRAY FOR ME,  486 00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:03,795  THAT I MAY BE PATIENT   AND ACCEPT  487 00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,664  MY SON FOR WHO HE IS.  488 00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:07,032  [applause]  489 00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:08,533  - AMEN.  490 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:11,670  - PRAY FOR ME.  491 00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:13,739      I CALLED BINGO LAST WEEK  492 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,741    EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T HAVE IT,     493 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:19,845  'CAUSE I KNEW NOBODY WAS COMING     TO CHECK THE CARDS.  494 00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:21,713  PRAY FOR ME.  495 00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:23,682  [applause]  496 00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:25,417  - PRAY FOR ME.  497 00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:31,823  I'VE LIED A LOT.  498 00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:34,059  I JUST--   I KEEP ON LYING,  499 00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:37,029  AND I'M SITTING   ON A HUGE PILE OF LIES  500 00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:39,798  RIGHT NOW.  501 00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:41,600  AND I'VE CHEATED   ON MY HUSBAND.  502 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:44,336  I'VE HAD AN AFFAIR.   [overlapping chatter]  503 00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:48,340  AND IT'S HURT PEOPLE      I DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO HURT.      504 00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:51,176     I DID NOT WANT TO HURT YOU.       I LIKE YOU.  505 00:21:51,209 --> 00:21:54,079  I AM REALLY SORRY.  506 00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:56,815      YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME.  507 00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:59,084  YOU ARE NOT   JUST ANOTHER STUDENT.  508 00:21:59,117 --> 00:22:03,555  YOU--YOU MAKE   MY LIFE BETTER,  509 00:22:03,588 --> 00:22:06,525  AND MY LIFE IS VERY COMPLICATED     RIGHT NOW.  510 00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:10,195     THERE'S--THERE'S SOME STUFF       THAT I CAN CONTROL,  511 00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:12,097  AND THEN THERE'S--       THERE'S THIS OTHER STUFF  512 00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:16,468      THAT'S--IT'S KILLING ME,   SO...  513 00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:19,338  [overlapping chatter]  514 00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:20,572  PRAY FOR ME.  515 00:22:20,605 --> 00:22:23,909  OH, HELP ME, GOD,   IF THERE IS A GOD.  516 00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:26,578      AND I HOPE THAT THERE IS,       BECAUSE I HAVE TO BELIEVE  517 00:22:26,611 --> 00:22:29,114    THAT THERE'S GONNA BE SOMEONE      ON THE OTHER SIDE  518 00:22:29,147 --> 00:22:30,916     WHO'S GONNA LEAVE THE LIGHT          ON FOR ME WHEN I GET THERE,      519 00:22:30,949 --> 00:22:32,784    THAT SOMEONE'S GONNA BE THERE      TO WELCOME ME.  520 00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:34,753  all: YES.  521 00:22:34,786 --> 00:22:39,191  - PRAY FOR ME,   BECAUSE I HAVE MANAGED  522 00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:42,761    TO TURN MY ONCE-AVERAGE LIFE         INTO A COMPLETE FUCKING MESS.     523 00:22:42,794 --> 00:22:44,062  [all gasping]   I'M SORRY.  524 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:45,530  I'M SORRY.  525 00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,966  I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY   FUCKING--OH, GOD.  526 00:22:47,999 --> 00:22:52,871     AND NOW I'VE SAID IT TWICE.      527 00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:56,475  [hushed chatter]  528 00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:06,485  - I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW   AT SCHOOL.  529 00:23:20,699 --> 00:23:22,801  - YOU KNOW   WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT?     530 00:23:22,834 --> 00:23:24,336  PANTS.  531 00:23:26,171 --> 00:23:28,940  - PANTS?  532 00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:30,976  - REMEMBER HOW WE USED   TO SHARE CLOTHES  533 00:23:31,009 --> 00:23:32,377  WHEN WE WERE ROOMMATES?  534 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:34,312      - YOU MEAN, HOW YOU USED   TO WEAR MY CLOTHES  535 00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:36,815  AND LIE ABOUT IT?   - EXACTLY.  536 00:23:36,848 --> 00:23:40,051  - AND THERE WAS A PAIR   OF BLACK SLACKS  537 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:42,287     THAT HAD A TINY RED STRIPE   UP THE SIDE  538 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,889  THAT I JUST LOVED.   - MM-HMM.  539 00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:45,724  YOU CALLED THEM   YOUR DATE PANTS.  540 00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:47,692     EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE MINE.      541 00:23:47,726 --> 00:23:48,894  - AND ONE DAY   YOU PUT THEM ON,  542 00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:50,295  AND THEY DIDN'T FIT YOU RIGHT,     543 00:23:50,328 --> 00:23:52,798  AND YOU ACCUSED ME      OF DOING SOMETHING TO THEM  544 00:23:52,831 --> 00:23:54,332    SO THAT THEY WOULDN'T FIT YOU      ANYMORE.  545 00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:57,702  - YEAH.  546 00:23:57,736 --> 00:23:59,838  - I DID.   - MM-HMM.  547 00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:01,306  - I HAD THEM TAILORED   TO FIT ME.  548 00:24:01,339 --> 00:24:03,008  - I KNEW IT.   I KNEW IT.  549 00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:05,010  I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!  550 00:24:05,043 --> 00:24:06,745      - I'M A TERRIBLE FRIEND.  551 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:10,215  - YOU AREN'T   A TERRIBLE FRIEND.  552 00:24:11,817 --> 00:24:14,085  - I MISSED   YOUR FUCKING WEDDING.  553 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,922     - I SCREWED UP A BUNCH TOO.      554 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:19,724  I'M NOT      COMPLETELY BLAMELESS HERE.  555 00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:22,060  I'VE DONE A LOT     OF CRAPPY THINGS IN MY LIFE.      556 00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:25,464      I'M TRYING TO BE BETTER.  557 00:24:25,497 --> 00:24:28,266  IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE       TO SCREW UP A FRIENDSHIP.  558 00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:32,170  - I PROMISE YOU,   FROM NOW ON--  559 00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:36,007  - DO NOT PROMISE.  560 00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:39,811  JUST BE YOU.  561 00:24:39,845 --> 00:24:43,748  I'VE MISSED YOU,   YOU KNOW.  562 00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:47,752  - I'VE MISSED YOU TOO.  563 00:24:47,786 --> 00:24:50,188      - AND I MISS THOSE PANTS.  564 00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:51,990  - [laughs]  565 00:24:52,023 --> 00:24:53,592      - MY ASS LOOKED FANTASTIC   IN THEM.  566 00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:56,628  [laughter]  567 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,708  - HEY.   - HEY.  568 00:25:09,741 --> 00:25:13,078  - LOOK, UM,   I JUST WANTED TO SAY  569 00:25:13,111 --> 00:25:15,714  THAT I DIDN'T MEAN   WHAT I SAID  570 00:25:15,747 --> 00:25:17,082  AT THE PARTY LAST WEEK.  571 00:25:17,115 --> 00:25:18,583  I MEAN,   I THINK YOU'RE COOL,  572 00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:21,720  AND I JUST KIND OF WANT THINGS      TO GO BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE.  573 00:25:24,389 --> 00:25:28,260  SO WE'RE GOOD?  574 00:25:28,293 --> 00:25:29,628      - WHY DON'T YOU PROVE IT?  575 00:25:29,661 --> 00:25:32,197  - HOW?  576 00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:33,798  - LICK MY LOCKER.   - WHAT?  577 00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:35,433  NO.   THAT IS GROSS.  578 00:25:35,467 --> 00:25:37,669    - YOU AIN'T THAT SORRY THEN.      579 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:55,954  - AHH.  580 00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:57,455     THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING.  581 00:25:57,489 --> 00:25:58,823      - YOU NASTY LITTLE BITCH.  582 00:25:58,857 --> 00:26:00,959  - OH, FUCK OFF.  583 00:26:00,992 --> 00:26:02,527  - [laughs]  584 00:26:09,367 --> 00:26:11,803  - IT'S A JAR OF OLIVES.  585 00:26:11,836 --> 00:26:13,471  THE STORE DIDN'T HAVE   ANY OLIVE BRANCHES,  586 00:26:13,505 --> 00:26:15,273  SO THIS WAS AS CLOSE   AS I COULD GET.  587 00:26:18,944 --> 00:26:21,446  I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.  588 00:26:21,479 --> 00:26:23,615    ACTUALLY, I'VE WANTED TO TELL      YOU SOMETHING FOR A LONG TIME,     589 00:26:23,648 --> 00:26:25,817     BUT I GUESS I WASN'T READY.      590 00:26:25,850 --> 00:26:28,787  SO I WANT TO COME CLEAN   WITH YOU.  591 00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:30,188  SORT OF A DO-OVER.  592 00:26:30,221 --> 00:26:33,158     - SO IF YOU FIND MY THONG,   YOU CAN JUST BRING IT  593 00:26:33,191 --> 00:26:35,694  TO THE NEXT RUGBY GAME.  594 00:26:39,397 --> 00:26:40,365  - TINA.  595 00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:42,000  - CATHY.  596 00:26:42,033 --> 00:26:43,501  HI.  597 00:26:45,637 --> 00:26:48,974  - CAN I HAVE A MINUTE   WITH PAUL?  598 00:26:49,007 --> 00:26:51,476  - YUP. SURE.   I'M GONNA GO.  599 00:26:51,509 --> 00:26:54,212  I'LL SEE YOU, PAULY.  600 00:26:57,182 --> 00:26:59,751  - WHAT?   NO YELLING?  601 00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,019  NO LECTURE?  602 00:27:01,052 --> 00:27:05,490     NO JUDGMENTAL CONDEMNATION       OF MY ABHORRENT BEHAVIOR?  603 00:27:05,523 --> 00:27:06,858  I FUCKED HER, CATHY.  604 00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:08,526  MULTIPLE TIMES IN FACT.  605 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,261      I MEAN, WHY SHOULDN'T I?  606 00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:12,998  YOU FUCKED SOMEBODY,       SO I FUCKED SOMEBODY TOO.  607 00:27:13,031 --> 00:27:15,333  AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE   TO SAY ABOUT THAT?  608 00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:19,270  - I HAVE CANCER.  609 00:27:21,673 --> 00:27:23,842     - ♪ DANCINGN THE SPIRIT ♪  610 00:27:23,875 --> 00:27:25,777  ♪ ♪  611 00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:28,146  - ♪ PRAISE HIM   TILL YOU FEEL IT ♪  612 00:27:28,179 --> 00:27:31,583  - ♪ WHOA ♪   - ♪ WHOA ♪  613 00:27:31,616 --> 00:27:34,786  - ♪ OHH ♪   - ♪ OHH ♪  614 00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:38,323  - ♪ OHH ♪   - ♪ OHH ♪  615 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,959  - ♪ OHH ♪   - ♪ OHH ♪  616 00:27:40,992 --> 00:27:43,862  - ♪ YOU CAUGHT ME ♪   all: ♪ DANCING IN THE SPIRIT ♪     617 00:27:43,895 --> 00:27:45,263  - ♪ DANCING ♪  618 00:27:45,296 --> 00:27:47,165  - ♪ PRAISE HIM   TILL YOU FEEL IT ♪  619 00:27:47,198 --> 00:27:48,533     - ♪ YOU GOT TO PRAISE HIM ♪      620 00:27:48,566 --> 00:27:51,770     - ♪ DANCING IN THE SPIRIT ♪       - ♪ DANCING ♪  74042

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