All language subtitles for The Big C S01E07 Two For The Road 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:02,736    - PREVIOUSLY ON  THE BIG C...      2 00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:04,371  - WHAT'S THIS?   - I HAVE A LUMP.  3 00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:05,705  - WHERE?   - ON MY ASS.  4 00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:07,440      I REALIZE THIS ALL ISN'T   VERY SEXY.  5 00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,976  - I FIND EVERYTHING   ABOUT YOU SEXY.  6 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,011  - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?  7 00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:13,013      - SOMEONE TRIED TO STEAL   MY SLEEPING BAG.  8 00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:15,248    - I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.      PLEASE LET ME DO THAT.  9 00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:17,550    - SEAN CAN STAY IN MY HOUSE,       AND I CAN'T?  10 00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,586    - HE'S SLEEPING IN THE YARD.       - I GOT A HAND-JOB.  11 00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:22,555     - WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT?           - SO WE CAN GET PAST IT.  12 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,991  - I WAS PAST IT.     I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT, PAUL!     13 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,236  [Leftover Cuties'   Game Called Life]  14 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,271  - ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪  15 00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:43,443     ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪  16 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:46,980  ♪ STEP OUT ♪  17 00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:51,918      ♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪  18 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,424  ♪ IS THIS   SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪  19 00:00:57,457 --> 00:01:02,228  ♪ WILL SOMEONE   WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪  20 00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:07,667     ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST       A GAME WE PLAY ♪  21 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:12,338  ♪ CALLED LIFE ♪  22 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,112      - DOES YOUR NEW FISH HAVE   A NAME?  23 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:20,947  - HIS NAME IS SHUT UP       AND STOP MOVING YOUR ASS.  24 00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:23,650  - OKAY, CAN I JUST SAY   HAVING A LUMP REMOVED  25 00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:25,752  IS ALMOST AS ANNOYING   AS HAVING A LUMP.  26 00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:28,555  AN HOUR OF SURGERY,     A WEEK OF CHANGING BANDAGES,      27 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,689  A MONTH OF SCARRING.  28 00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:31,558     IT'S NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND       THIS SUMMER.  29 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:32,859  BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS  30 00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:34,727     IT'S TAKEN OUR RELATIONSHIP       TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL.  31 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,863  - THE LEAST I CAN DO   FOR FORGETTING  32 00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:39,199  TO PICK YOU UP   FROM SURGERY.  33 00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:42,602      - YOU KNOW, NOW CANCER IS      LITERALLY A PAIN IN MY ASS.      34 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:44,537  - AREN'T YOU AFRAID   OF DYING?  35 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,606  - I'M MORE AFRAID OF      NOT GETTING EVERYTHING DONE      36 00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,241  BEFORE I GO.  37 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,076    - NOBODY HAS THAT MUCH TIME.      38 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,179  PULL YOUR PANTS UP NOW.  39 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,714     - YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ACTUALLY       PRETTY GOOD AT THIS.  40 00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:58,751  - YEAH, WELL, BETWEEN       MY HUSBAND'S COLON CANCER  41 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,988  AND MY YOUNGEST   DAUGHTER'S LIPO,  42 00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:03,957  I'VE TAKEN CARE OF   A LOT OF ASSHOLES.  43 00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:06,159      - YOUR  YOUNGEST  DAUGHTER?  44 00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,594     I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD ANY.  45 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,395  I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE   COME IN HERE.  46 00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:11,231  - I HAVE TWO GIRLS.  47 00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:14,000      ONE OF 'EM MARRIED A JEW,   AND THE OTHER ONE'S A BULL DYKE.  48 00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:17,203     THEY CALL ME ONCE A MONTH,   IF I'M LUCKY.  49 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:20,573  IT'S THE SAME DAMN CONVERSATION     EVERY TIME.  50 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,143  HOW'S THE HOUSE?      AM I TAKING MY MEDICATION?  51 00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:27,213  HOW'S MY HIP?   IT'S PATHETIC.  52 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,082  WHAT?  53 00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:31,217  - NOTHING.       I JUST FEEL BAD FOR YOU.  54 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:32,552  - WELL, DON'T.  55 00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:35,188    YOU KICKED YOUR HUSBAND OUT,       YOUR KID HATES YOU,  56 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:36,322    AND YOUR BROTHER'S HOMELESS.      57 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:37,690  SAVE YOUR TEARS   FOR YOURSELF.  58 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,225  - HE'S NOT HOMELESS THIS WEEK.     59 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:41,861  HE'S BEEN SLEEPING   IN MY BACK YARD.  60 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:44,264      - YEAH, YOUR LIFE'S FULL   OF SUNSHINE.  61 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:48,801  [door shuts]  62 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:53,673  - WHEN'S THE LAST TIME   YOU SAW DAD?  63 00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,175  - OH, WOW, LET'S SEE.  64 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:57,243    THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SOMETIME         BEFORE I STARTED PRACTICING      65 00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:58,444      I-DON'T-GIVE-A-FUCK-ISM.  66 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:01,748  - I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM   SINCE LAST CHRISTMAS.  67 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,583  I DON'T EVEN VISIT HIM   ON HIS BIRTHDAY OR FATHER'S DAY.  68 00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:06,252  I JUST SEND CARDS.   IT'S RIDICULOUS.  69 00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:08,521      I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK   I'M AVOIDING HIM.  70 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:11,758  - YOU ARE AVOIDING HIM.   YOU HATE DAD.  71 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:13,726     - HE'S NOT THAT BAD, SEAN.  72 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,761  - AS MUCH AS I'D LOVE   TO COUNT THE WAYS  73 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:16,696      HE TOOK A DUMP ON MY LIFE   FOR YOU,  74 00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:18,598     I REALLY NEED TO GET GOING  75 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:20,633  BEFORE THE LACK   OF NATURAL LIGHT AND AIR IN HERE  76 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:23,603  IRREPARABLY DAMAGES   MY CIRCADIAN RHYTHM.  77 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:26,439  SO...AHH...  78 00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:28,608  I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU   FOR YOUR SOMEWHAT TOXIC  79 00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:32,312  BUT ODDLY CHARMING HOSPITALITY      THIS PAST WEEK.  80 00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:34,013      - WE NEED TO GO SEE DAD.  81 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:38,151  - I'D RATHER MASTURBATE   WITH A CHEESE GRATER.  82 00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:40,253      - WHERE'S YOUR SUITCASE?  83 00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:42,455  I TOLD YOU WE WERE   SPENDING THE NIGHT.  84 00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:43,690  - MOM, CAN I JUST SIGN   THE CARD,  85 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,658     AND THEN YOU GO DROP ME OFF       AT THE MALL INSTEAD?  86 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,560  - THERE IS NO CARD.   IT'S NOT HIS BIRTHDAY.  87 00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,229  WE'RE JUST VISITING.  88 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:50,196  - THAT'S LAME.  89 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,564  - THAT IS NOT   A VALID RESPONSE, ADAM.  90 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,199      I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE   WITH GRANDPA.  91 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,434  I TOLD HIM WE WERE   ON OUR WAY.  92 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,635  - I'M NOT SPENDING   THE WHOLE DAY  93 00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:59,072  TRAPPED IN A CAR   WITH YOU.  94 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,840  - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  95 00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,141  - THIS IS PROBABLY   A HUGE MISTAKE,  96 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,378  BUT I HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS      AT HOME TOO.  97 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,949  - HAPPY?   UNCLE SEAN'S GOING.  98 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,651  SO NOW THERE'S   A PROTECTIVE LAYER BETWEEN US.     99 00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:13,119  GO. GET YOUR SUITCASE.  100 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:14,220     - BUT I TOLD BRENT AND ALEX       THAT I'D  101 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,155  HANG OUT WITH THEM   THIS WEEKEND.  102 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,858    - YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.     103 00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:21,361  - WAIT, YOU'RE JUST   LEAVING ME HERE?  104 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,263  - YEP.  105 00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:26,065  - BUT, MOM, I'M HUNGRY!  106 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,234  WHAT AM I SUPPOSED   TO EAT?  107 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,902  - WAY TO GO, SIS.  108 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:33,373    IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU FINALLY       CUTTING ADAM'S UMBILICAL CORD.     109 00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:34,641     WHEN HE GETS HUNGRY ENOUGH,      110 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,943    HIS NATURAL SURVIVAL INSTINCT      WILL KICK IN,  111 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:38,344  IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY   BEAT IT OUT OF HIM.  112 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,880  - YEAH, RIGHT.   [cell phone beeps]  113 00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:42,749  [cell phone rings]  114 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,885    - CATHY, YOU FINALLY DECIDED       TO RETURN MY CALLS.  115 00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:47,020  THANK YOU.  116 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,122  OH, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT   IN A SNARKY WAY.  117 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:51,924  I KNOW SOMETIMES      I USE SARCASM AS A WEAPON.  118 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,526  - ARE YOU STILL SEEING   THAT THERAPIST?  119 00:04:53,559 --> 00:04:54,661  - I DON'T KNOW, CATHY.  120 00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,329  AM I STILL SLEEPING   ON MY SISTER'S COUCH  121 00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:57,297  FOR NO APPARENT REASON?  122 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,832  OH, THAT WAS SNARKY.  123 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,234  THAT'S WHY I HAD TO   SEE ANGELA TODAY.  124 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,469  YOU SEE,   I'M LASHING OUT AT YOU  125 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,072  BECAUSE, OBVIOUSLY,     I'M HAVING A HARD TIME COPING     126 00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:08,274      WITH THE FACT THAT I WENT     OUTSIDE THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE     127 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,976      FOR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION.  128 00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,944     - OKAY, I'M GONNA GO VISIT   MY DAD THIS WEEKEND,  129 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,314      SO IF YOU'RE NOT TO BUSY   GETTING A HAND-JOB,  130 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,082      WOULD YOU GO PICK UP ADAM     AND WATCH HIM WHILE I'M GONE?     131 00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,250  - IN FAIRNESS TO ME,  132 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,619      ANGELA SAYS THE HAND-JOB   ONLY HAPPENED  133 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,121    BECAUSE MY SELF IS SPLITTING.     134 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,990  - WELL, WOULD AT LEAST   ONE HALF OF YOUR SELF  135 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,124  GO PICK UP OUR SON?  136 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,927  THANKS.   [beep]  137 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,696     - WHAT'S WITH THE 12-PACK?  138 00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:31,497    IS THAT HOW YOU'RE INTENDING          TO GET THROUGH THIS VISIT?  139 00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:34,767  - NO, IT'S FOR DAD.       IT'S HIS FAVORITE BRAND.  140 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,536  BUT HE NEVER BUYS IT      BECAUSE IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE.      141 00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:41,407  - OH, SO YOU'RE BUYING HIS LOVE.   THAT'S NICE.  142 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,811  - THANK YOU       FOR COMING WITH ME, SEAN.  143 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,245  I KNOW THIS ISN'T EASY   FOR YOU,  144 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,614  AND I THINK IT IS   INCREDIBLY BIG OF YOU  145 00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,917      TO MAKE AMENDS WITH DAD.  146 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,919  - MAKE AMENDS?   WITH THAT ASSHOLE?  147 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,754  FUCK HIM!  148 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:56,789  I'M ONLY GOING      TO DIG UP THE TIME CAPSULE  149 00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,925      I BURIED IN THE BACKYARD   WHEN I WAS 15.  150 00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:01,661  - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?   A TIME CAPSULE?  151 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,129  - DON'T YELL AT ME   JUST BECAUSE  152 00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:07,200  YOUR LITTLE BORING-BETTY BRAIN      DIDN'T THINK OF IT.  153 00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:11,371  - GENERALLY SPEAKING,       IT IS EASIER FOR A WOMAN  154 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,606     TO FEEL AND BE IN HER BODY.      155 00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:15,742      SO SHE'S NATURALLY CLOSER   TO BEING,  156 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:18,177  AND POTENTIALLY CLOSER   TO ENLIGHTENMENT--  157 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,381     - ECKHART TOLLE HAS HELPED   A LOT OF PEOPLE.  158 00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:25,084     - OH, IS THIS BALL-SHRINKER       HELPING YOU?  159 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,987    IS THAT WHY YOU'RE ON A QUEST         TO BE THE PERFECT DAUGHTER?      160 00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,389  - FOR YOUR INFORMATION,  161 00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,290  MOST FAMILIES CONSIDER   VISITING YOUR FATHER  162 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:35,094  NORMAL BEHAVIOR.  163 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,130      - YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW,   DO YOU?  164 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:40,533  OH, GOD.  165 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:44,103    I THOUGHT MAYBE HE WAS DOING       THE SAME THING TO YOU.  166 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,672  MAYBE I WAS JUST HOPING   I WASN'T ALONE.  167 00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:49,442    - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?     168 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,477  - GOD, CATH...  169 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:53,546  I KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS   LOOKED UP TO DAD.  170 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,548      YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN HIS--  171 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:58,651     HIS LITTLE GOODY TWO-SHOES.      172 00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:00,253  FRANKLY, I WAS TOO MUCH   OF A WUSS  173 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,955    TO WANT TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE.     174 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,425      BUT SINCE WE ARE FINALLY   TALKING ABOUT IT,  175 00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:09,729  YOU SHOULD KNOW.  176 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:13,466  DAD MOLESTED ME.  177 00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,735  - JESUS, SEAN...  178 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,271  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  179 00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:22,275  - [laughing]  180 00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:25,244  - GOD, YOU--YOU--   DON'T DO THAT!  181 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:29,415  YOU STOP!     STOP, STOP, STOP DOING THAT!      182 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,684     - YOU--YOU'RE LIKE A REALLY       LOW-HANGING FRUIT.  183 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:33,152  - YOU'RE SICK.  184 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,420  - YOU'RE LIKE   A LOW-HANGING FRUIT  185 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,322  ON A DWARF FRUIT TREE.  186 00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:38,524  [cell phone beeps]  187 00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:51,571  [overlapping chatter]  188 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:55,208  [engine revving,   tires screeching on video game]    189 00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:56,275  [explosion]  190 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,277  - OH! OH!  191 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,280  - DAMN, YOU JUST GOT SCHOOLED,      MR. JAMISON.  192 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,449    - HEY, UNLESS YOU'RE AUDITING      MY TAXES,  193 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,784  YOU CALL ME PAUL.  194 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,586      NO, YOU KNOW, BETTER YET,   CALL ME PAULIE.  195 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,921  THANK YOU.   [car horn honks]  196 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:11,324      - DUDE, WE GOTTA BOUNCE.   - SEE YA, MAN.  197 00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:14,494  - OH, HOW CONVENIENT--BOUNCING      WHEN I'M JUST GETTING WARMED UP.  198 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:15,561  THIS AIN'T OVER, JOSH.  199 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,430  - THANKS, MR.--   PAULIE.  200 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,465  SEE YOU, GUYS.  201 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,502      - I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE   A TOAST TO MY SON  202 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,670  AND HIS AWESOME   GAMING PROWESS.  203 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:28,241  TODAY, YOU ARE A MAN.  204 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:30,676  - YES!  205 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,845      - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.   WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?    206 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,046  - YOU SAID I WAS   A MAN NOW, SO--  207 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,282  - YEAH, WELL,   UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU,  208 00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:37,717  IN THE UNITED STATES   OF AMERICA,  209 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,987  A 14-YEAR-OLD MAN   STILL CANNOT DRINK.  210 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,488  BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA   DRINK ALCOHOL, BUDDY,  211 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,290  I'D FEEL A HECK   OF A LOT BETTER  212 00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:47,660  IF YOU DO IT     WITH AN ADULT PRESENT, OKAY?      213 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:53,099  SO IN LIGHT OF YOUR   AWESOME DRIVING SKILLS,  214 00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:57,236  I HEREBY ENTITLE YOU...   TO HAVE A BEER.  215 00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:01,874  - SERIOUSLY?  216 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,784  [belches]  217 00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:15,054  - [belches three times]  218 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:20,660  - JUST SO YOU KNOW,     I WAS NOT A GOODY TWO-SHOES.      219 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,929     I SMOKED MY FIRST CIGARETTE       IN GIRL SCOUTS.  220 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:26,966  - OH, GOD, THAT CONVERSATION'S        SO TEN MILES AGO--LET IT GO.      221 00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:28,534      - ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT  222 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,469  WE BOTH DID THINGS   TO GET DAD'S ATTENTION.  223 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,505     MY THING WAS TO BE PERFECT.      224 00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:34,607  YOUR THING WAS TO BE   A JUVENILE DELINQUENT.  225 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,144      - MY THING WAS MORE FUN.  226 00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:39,345  - GIVE ME A BEER.  227 00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:40,980  - WHAT?  228 00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:42,682  - YOU HEARD ME.  229 00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,817     GIVE ME ONE OF DAD'S BEERS.      230 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,552  I'M THIRSTY, I'M TIRED,  231 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,321  MAYBE A LITTLE TENSE,  232 00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:52,758      AND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE     A FUCKING BEER...IN THE CAR!      233 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,328      - WELL, WHATEVER IT TAKES       TO MAKE YOUR PERSONALITY  234 00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,897  MORE TOLERABLE.  235 00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,599  - BUT YOU DRIVE.  236 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:07,840  - HERE. HERE.  237 00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:10,242  WOW, THE LAST TIME   I DROVE A CAR,  238 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,044      REAGAN WAS IGNORING AIDS.  239 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,687    WHOA, THAT'S FUEL INJECTION!      240 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,322  [applause]  241 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,958    - THAT IS ONE AMAZING WOMAN.      242 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,631  YOU AND ME ARE   TWO LUCKY GUYS.  243 00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,499      - YEAH, REAL LUCKY, DAD.  244 00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:35,434  SHE KICKED YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE.   THAT'S FUCKED UP.  245 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,036  - YOU'RE TOO HARD   ON YOUR MOM.  246 00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:39,205  YOU GOTTA CUT HER   SOME SLACK.  247 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:41,007     I KNOW SHE CAN BE ANNOYING,      248 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,442    BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE           THE MOST IMPORTANT THING  249 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,810  IN THE WORLD TO HER.  250 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,446  - HEY, DAD, WANNA PLAY   ANOTHER VIDEO GAME NOW?  251 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:52,685  - WHOO, THAT CATHY,     SHE'S WHAT YOU CALL A CATCH.      252 00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:56,122  - EWW, DAD.  253 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:59,959  - MY FRIENDS SAID       SHE MIGHT SLEEP WITH ME,  254 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:03,329  "BUT NO WAY IN HELL   A GAL LIKE THAT  255 00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:07,867  WILL EVER MARRY   A GUY LIKE YOU."  256 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,035  AND THEN SHE DID.  257 00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:12,238  OH, IT WAS SO AWESOME.  258 00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:17,743     OOH, DOESN'T YOUR MOM HAVE   AMAZING TITS?  259 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:21,213  OH...  260 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:24,250  HOW'D I FUCK IT UP   SO BAD?  261 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:28,421  I'M SO FUCKING FUCKED.  262 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:30,156    I MISS HER SO MUCH IT HURTS.      263 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,391  [Paul sobbing]  264 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,396  - WHOO!  265 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,934  WHY ARE WE STOPPING?  266 00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:44,070  - YOU'LL SEE.  267 00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:46,238  NO FUCKING WAY.  268 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:49,575    YOU THINK THIS SIGN WILL FIT           IN THE BACK OF YOUR CAR?  269 00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:53,279  - WHAT?  270 00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:54,547  - [laughing]  271 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,950  - THAT'S JUST SUCH      A DINGLEBERRY THING TO DO.  272 00:11:57,983 --> 00:12:01,353      - OH, YEAH, YOU PROBABLY     DON'T HAVE THE DINGLEBERRIES      273 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:05,591  TO DO IT.  274 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:07,159  - OW.  275 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:08,194  - OW!  276 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,730  [straining]  277 00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,732  - [laughing]  278 00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:15,835  [engine revving,   tires screeching on video game]    279 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,367  - I'M FAMISHED.  280 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,669  BEING A SIGN STEALER   IS EXHAUSTING.  281 00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:55,174  WHERE ARE YOU GOING?   - FOOD!  282 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,246  - [pained groan]  283 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,380  - HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?  284 00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:03,482    - FACT: OVER 50% OF THE FOOD      285 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:06,452     WE HARVEST IN THIS COUNTRY   GETS THROWN AWAY.  286 00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:08,354  FACT: EXPIRATION DATES   ARE BULLSHIT.  287 00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:12,091  FACT: THIS BOX OF LITTLE DEBBIES   IS HERMETICALLY SEALED.  288 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,593     DO LITTLE DEBBIES EVEN HAVE       EXPIRATION DATES?  289 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,594  I DON'T THINK SO.  290 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:19,532  - GOLDEN CREMES.   I LOVE GOLDEN CREMES.  291 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,669  OH, MY GOD!   IS THAT A CANNED HAM?  292 00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:25,871  - MM-HMM.  293 00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:33,145  MADE FRESH TODAY.  294 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:37,516  - HA! I CAN'T BELIEVE   I DUMPSTER DOVE.  295 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,919  I'M A DUMPSTER DIVER.  296 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:41,420  I CAN'T BELIEVE   I'M EATING TRASH.  297 00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:42,488  IT'S TOTALLY WEIRD.  298 00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:44,089  - PASS THE CARROTS,   PLEASE.  299 00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:48,527  - NOW, WHY WOULD THEY THROW OUT     A WHOLE BOX OF LITTLE DEBBIES?     300 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,630  - THE BOX WAS DENTED.   PASS THE PEAS.  301 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,767     - YOU KNOW MOM TURNED ME ON       TO THESE?  302 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,101      THESE WERE HER FAVORITES.  303 00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:59,471    - AT LEAST TILL DAD TOLD HER           THEY WERE MAKING HER FAT.  304 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,840  THAT JERK MADE SURE   NONE OF US WAS HAPPY  305 00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:03,275  LONG ENOUGH   TO ENJOY ANYTHING.  306 00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:04,176  - I WAS HAPPY.  307 00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:06,579      - HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY   BE HAPPY  308 00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:08,380  BENDING OVER BACKWARD   TRYING TO PLEASE HIM?  309 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:12,218  YOU KNOW WHO MANAGED   TO PLEASE DAD? SHARON.  310 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,820  PRETTY BALLSY OF HIM   TO FUCK AROUND WITH HER  311 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,422  WHILE MOM WAS LAID UP   IN THE HOSPITAL.  312 00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:17,923  WHO DOES THAT?  313 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:22,995  WHO CHEATS WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE   SOMEBODY WHO LOVES YOU?  314 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,364  - IS THAT IT?  315 00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:26,866  WE DON'T KNOW   HE HAD AN AFFAIR.  316 00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:30,569      - OH, SURE, MAYBE DAD WAS   SUCH A FUCKING ROMANTIC  317 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,339  THAT HE FELL IN LOVE   AND GOT MARRIED  318 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,040  THREE MONTHS AFTER   MOM DIED.  319 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:37,476     THAT'S TOTALLY REASONABLE.   - IT WAS 25 YEARS AGO.  320 00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:39,245  DAD NEEDED SOMEONE.   SHARON WAS THERE.  321 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:43,482    - YOU AND MOM, YOU BOTH JUST       LET HIM SHUT YOU DOWN.  322 00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:45,851  FOR YEARS, SHE WANTED   TO VISIT NEW ORLEANS.  323 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:46,886    HE WOULDN'T SPEND THE MONEY.      324 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,020  HE MARRIED SHARON,  325 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,622  TOOK HER THERE   ON THEIR HONEYMOON.  326 00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:51,590    - SHARON HAD HOTEL VOUCHERS.      327 00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:55,628  DO YOU HATE ME...  328 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,663      FOR TRYING TO MAKE PEACE   BETWEEN YOU AND HIM?  329 00:14:57,696 --> 00:14:59,665  - DO YOU HATE ME   FOR TRYING  330 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:03,135  TO GET YOUR HEAD   OUT OF YOUR ASS?  331 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,970  [cell phone beeps]  332 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,975  MAN, YOU GET A LOT   OF CALLS.  333 00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:14,313  SLOW DOWN!  334 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:22,655      - HEY, KID, ARE YOU DEAD?  335 00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:26,091  - [coughing]  336 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:29,795  - JESUS H. CHRIST!   WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER?  337 00:15:29,828 --> 00:15:32,731  - IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.  338 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,266  MY DAD'S HERE.   EVERYTHING'S FINE.  339 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:37,136  EVERYTHING IS COOL.  340 00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:50,182  - SEAN!  341 00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:51,617  [horn honks]  342 00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:53,552  [chuckles]  343 00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:55,721  HE SAW MY ASS.  344 00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:59,325  [cell phone beeps]  345 00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:00,826  [beep]  346 00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:04,296  [car door shuts]  347 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:07,666  JUST SO YOU KNOW,   TALL GRASS--  348 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,168  NOT IDEAL   FOR A SQUATTING WOMAN.  349 00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:12,905  - WHO'S LENNY?  350 00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:15,374  - OH, CRAP.  351 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:19,445  - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, CATHY?         ARE YOU FUCKING THIS GUY?  352 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,413  YOU FUCKING AROUND   ON PAUL?  353 00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:24,917  - YES. YES, I AM.  354 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:25,951  YES.  355 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,221  - JESUS, CATHY,   YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE.  356 00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:30,789  HERE I AM DEFENDING YOU  357 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,292    AGAINST YOUR JERKWAD HUSBAND       FOR YEARS,  358 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,061  AND--AND THE WHOLE TIME   YOU'RE HAVING A FUCKING AFFAIR?    359 00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,697  - NOT THE WHOLE TIME,   AND IT'S NOT AS SIMPLE AS THAT.    360 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:42,468  - CAN'T ANYBODY   TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH?  361 00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:49,608  YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR   AND A FUCKING COWARD.  362 00:16:49,641 --> 00:16:53,679      AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE DAD.  363 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,416  - STILL THINK I'M   A GOODY TWO-SHOES?  364 00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:59,218  STILL THINK I CAN'T BE   WILD AND CRAZY?  365 00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:00,753  WELL, THIS IS WHAT   IT LOOKS LIKE, SEAN.  366 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:03,389      MY CAUTION IS OFFICIALLY   THROWN TO THE WIND.  367 00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,524  - FUCK YOU, CATHY.  368 00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:15,200  [Buddy's  Say A Lot]  369 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:19,438  ♪ ♪  370 00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:21,273  - ♪ GOLDEN RINGS ♪  371 00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:23,442  ♪ AROUND YOUR HEAD ♪  372 00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:28,080  ♪ NEVER SHOW ♪  373 00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:31,483  ♪ WE DON'T SEEM LIKE OURSELVES ♪  374 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:34,353  ♪ ANYMORE ♪  375 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,122    ♪ NEVER REALLY TAKES A LOT ♪      376 00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:40,659  ♪ TO LOSE YOU ♪  377 00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:47,366  ♪ ♪  378 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,168  ♪ MAKE A WISH ♪  379 00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:51,970  ♪ UPON A FALLING STAR ♪  380 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,239  - WHERE ARE YOU GOING?   - I'M GETTING MY TIME CAPSULE.     381 00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:57,443  - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?       YOU'RE NOT GONNA COME IN?  382 00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:00,145  DAD!  383 00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:01,780  - HI, HI.  384 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,916    - THANKS FOR THE GINGER ALE.      385 00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:07,519    AND...I'M SORRY I PUKED IT UP      ON YOUR RUG.  386 00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:11,390      - THE RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN   YOU AND YOUR FATHER IS UNCANNY.    387 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:14,193  GO TO YOUR ROOM AND GET   A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.  388 00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:16,128    BUT FIRST THING YOU'RE DOING       IN THE MORNING  389 00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,362  IS CLEAN THIS CRAP UP.  390 00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,597  - I KNOW.  391 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:25,204    - ♪ I DON'T HAVE TO SAY A LOT      TO LOSE YOU ♪  392 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,673      - WAKE UP, YOU BIG LUSH!  393 00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:29,775  I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE      LIVING HERE OR ON THE MOON.      394 00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:31,777  BEING A FATHER'S NOT   A PART-TIME JOB.  395 00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:35,681      YOU CAN'T QUIT EVERY TIME      YOU FEEL LIKE TYING ONE ON.      396 00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:41,353  YOUR KID'S SICK, AND THIS PLACE     SMELLS LIKE RAW SEWAGE.  397 00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:44,823  TAKE CARE OF IT.  398 00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:53,799    [baseball game drones on TV]      399 00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:54,933      - I'D OFFER YOU SOMETHING   TO EAT,  400 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,702  BUT SHARON'S OUT   AT HER BRIDGE GAME.  401 00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,537  - OH, THAT'S OKAY, DAD.  402 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:02,641      [announcer droning on TV]  403 00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:04,510  CAN WE TURN THE TV OFF   FOR A LITTLE BIT?  404 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,812  I JUST--   I WANTED TO CATCH UP--  405 00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:08,714  - AW, HONEY,   IT'S A BIG GAME.  406 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,552  - HOW ARE YOU DOING   HEALTH-WISE?  407 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:14,686  YOU STILL TAKING   YOUR LIPITOR?  408 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,456  - EVERY MORNING.   - AND HOW'S THAT KNEE?  409 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:21,627  - GET THAT GUY OUT   OF THERE!  410 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,530  - DADDY...  411 00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:28,534      PAUL AND I ARE SEPARATED.  412 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:32,004  - OH, BOY.  413 00:19:32,037 --> 00:19:33,639      YOU GOTTA WORK THAT OUT.  414 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:37,342    I REALLY DON'T SEE YOU DOING       MUCH BETTER THAN PAUL.  415 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,511  - EXCUSE ME?  416 00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,380      - SWEET PEA, YOU HAVE TO       BE REALISTIC, THAT'S ALL.  417 00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:44,583     YOU'RE A 44-YEAR-OLD WOMAN.          YOUR OPTIONS ARE NOT GREAT.      418 00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:46,285  - 42.  419 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:49,087  AND--AND WHO KNOWS   WHAT I CAN ACHIEVE?  420 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,190  - WHAT DO YOU WANT ME   TO SAY, HONEY?  421 00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,825  YOU COME HERE,      TELL ME YOU'RE DIVORCED...  422 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,195  - NO, SEPARATED.       AND NOT EVEN OFFICIALLY.  423 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,430  - IF YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE THINGS,       YOU BETTER START PLANNING  424 00:19:58,463 --> 00:19:59,364  FOR YOUR OLD AGE.  425 00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,934      - I'LL TRY AND KEEP THAT   IN MIND.  426 00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:05,904  - LIKE I SAY,   JUST BE REALISTIC, THAT'S ALL.     427 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,841  - I THOUGHT THIS WOULD   GO DIFFERENTLY.  428 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,510      - WELL, YOU SHOULD LOWER   YOUR EXPECTATIONS.  429 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,413  - ALL I EXPECTED WAS   A CONVERSATION.  430 00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,885     THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME       I SEE YOU.  431 00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:23,155  - HEY...EASY.  432 00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:24,590  I'M NOT THAT OLD.  433 00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:27,326  - IT'S NOT ALWAYS   ABOUT YOU, DAD.  434 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:31,930  WE DROVE A LONG WAY   TO VISIT YOU.  435 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,800      - WELL, YOU'RE HERE NOW.      WHAT DO YOU WANT, A PARTY?  436 00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:36,501  - NO, ALL I WANT IS   SOME INDICATION  437 00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,403  THAT YOU ARE HAPPY   TO SEE ME.  438 00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:40,239  AND THAT YOU'D BE SAD   IF I WERE GONE.  439 00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:45,043      - CATHY, I'M REALLY HAPPY   YOU'RE HERE.  440 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,646  WELCOME HOME.  441 00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:50,082  IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?  442 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,523  - SO WHAT IF I HAD   HIGH EXPECTATIONS?  443 00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:00,392  SO WHAT?  444 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,428  AT LEAST ONE OF US   HAD DREAMS FOR ME.  445 00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:05,764  NO ONE WAS ALLOWED   TO DREAM IN THIS HOUSE.  446 00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:08,967     THE ONLY DREAM MOM EVER HAD           WAS TO GO TO NEW ORLEANS.  447 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,537      YOU KILLED THAT FOR HER,   AND NOW SHE'S IN THE FIREPLACE!    448 00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:13,438    WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THAT?      449 00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:14,840  IT'S DECORATIVE.   WE NEVER USE IT.  450 00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,541  - YOU TOLD ME NOT WASTE   THAT APPLICATION FEE  451 00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:18,110  ON THAT COLLEGE   THAT WAS OUT OF STATE  452 00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:20,279      BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T THINK   THAT I COULD GET IN.  453 00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:21,913  YOU MADE EVERYBODY JUST   TAP DANCE AROUND YOU  454 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,181  FOR YOUR APPROVAL.  455 00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:27,519  AND DO YOU KNOW   WHAT THE SAD THING IS?  456 00:21:27,552 --> 00:21:29,354      YOU HAVE A GREAT FAMILY.  457 00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:31,089      YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM.  458 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:36,495    SEAN IS SO MUCH MORE AMAZING       THAN YOU COULD EVER COMPREHEND.    459 00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:40,165     HE CAN PULL AN ENTIRE MEAL   OUT OF A DUMPSTER.  460 00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:44,836  AND MORE THAN THAT...   HE'S HONEST.  461 00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:47,372  AND HE CARES.  462 00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:51,643  WHICH IS MORE THAN   I CAN SAY FOR YOU.  463 00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:53,612  I CAME HERE   TO TELL YOU SOMETHING,  464 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,348  AND HERE IT IS--  465 00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:59,584  I LOVE YOU...  466 00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:03,121  AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!  467 00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:12,631  - WHAT THE HELL   DO YOU WANT?  468 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,933  - WHAT'S THE SCORE,   ASSHOLE?  469 00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:19,171      - MINNESOTA'S AHEAD 5-2,   JACKASS.  470 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:27,346  - WOW...1982.   [laughs]  471 00:22:27,379 --> 00:22:30,315  THIS IS GONNA BE, LIKE,   TOTALLY RAD!  472 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:34,286  - HEH HEH.   NOW, THAT IS A THING-O-BEAUTY!     473 00:22:34,319 --> 00:22:36,154  - THAT'S IT?  474 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,824  THAT'S YOUR ENTIRE   TIME CAPSULE?  475 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:42,694  WHAT, A POLAROID       AND A 28-YEAR-OLD DOOBIE?  476 00:22:42,728 --> 00:22:46,031  - BUT IT TAKES ME BACK.   - WHO IS THIS?  477 00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:49,801  WHAT DOES SHE HAVE   IN HER MOU--  478 00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:51,036  IS THAT YOUR PENIS?  479 00:22:51,069 --> 00:22:53,405  OH, GROSS, SEAN!  480 00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:57,075  - YEAH, THE '80s   REALLY  SUCKED FOR ME.  481 00:22:57,109 --> 00:22:59,578      HEY, THAT WASN'T HALF BAD  482 00:22:59,611 --> 00:23:00,746  WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ME   AT DAD'S.  483 00:23:00,779 --> 00:23:02,481  - DON'T LET IT GO   TO YOUR HEAD.  484 00:23:02,514 --> 00:23:06,451    - OH, YOU MEAN THE FACT THAT          ♪ YOU THINK I'M AMAZING ♪ ?      485 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,930  - BON VOYAGE, MOM.  486 00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:24,302  FIRST-CLASS TRIP   DOWN THE MISSISSIPPI.  487 00:23:24,336 --> 00:23:26,938     - SHE'LL BE IN NEW ORLEANS   BY MONDAY.  488 00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:30,442  COVERED IN BRITISH OIL.  489 00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:38,717      - YOU WANT TO BE CREMATED   WHEN YOU DIE?  490 00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,119    - I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT OUT       TO BE EATEN BY COYOTES.  491 00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:44,189     - I KNOW--I KNOW LOGICALLY   IT MAKES SENSE TO BE CREMATED,     492 00:23:44,222 --> 00:23:46,358      BUT I JUST CANT GET PAST   THE FACT  493 00:23:46,391 --> 00:23:47,826      THAT YOU'RE BEING BURNED,  494 00:23:47,859 --> 00:23:49,661  AND HOW PAINFUL   THAT WOULD BE  495 00:23:49,694 --> 00:23:52,130  IF BY SOME FLUKE   YOU COULD FEEL IT.  496 00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:55,033     I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE BURIAL.      497 00:23:55,066 --> 00:23:58,570  I DON'T KNOW,   IT'S HARD TO DECIDE.  498 00:23:58,603 --> 00:23:59,805  - WHAT'S THE BIG RUSH?  499 00:23:59,838 --> 00:24:02,207  IT'S NOT LIKE      YOU'RE GONNA DIE TOMORROW.  500 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,043  [grunts]  501 00:24:05,076 --> 00:24:06,778  - I'M SICK, SEAN.  502 00:24:06,812 --> 00:24:09,047  - [chuckles]   I KNOW. AREN'T WE ALL?  503 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,350  - I HAVE CANCER.  504 00:24:12,384 --> 00:24:14,486  - WHAT?  505 00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:16,988     - I'M SORRY TO BLURT IT OUT       LIKE THAT.  506 00:24:17,022 --> 00:24:19,891      WHEN I SAY IT IN MY HEAD,   IT SOUNDS A LOT MORE ELOQUENT.     507 00:24:19,925 --> 00:24:25,530  BUT IT TURNS OUT QUIET DIGNITY      IS HARD TO DO OUT LOUD.  508 00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:28,166  SO THAT'S IT.  509 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,502  I HAVE CANCER.  510 00:24:30,535 --> 00:24:33,839  MELANOMA, TO BE EXACT,   AND I'M DYING.  511 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,442     - ARE YOU GONNA DO ANYTHING       ABOUT IT?  512 00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:42,080    - OTHER THAN EAT MORE SWEETS,      NOT REALLY.  513 00:24:42,113 --> 00:24:45,383  I'VE LOOKED INTO IT.       THE OPTIONS AREN'T GOOD.  514 00:24:47,752 --> 00:24:50,655  - JESUS, CATHY.  515 00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:52,724  JESUS!  516 00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:02,634  [sighs]   WELL, OKAY. OKAY.  517 00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:05,203  OKAY.  518 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:06,938  WELL, PEOPLE DIE.  519 00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,840  YOU KNOW,   IT'S A GUARANTEE.  520 00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:12,477  SOMETHING IS GOING TO GET YOU.          NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS.  521 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,079  ME, I'M IN THE DARK.  522 00:25:14,112 --> 00:25:16,047  BUT PEOPLE DIE.  523 00:25:16,081 --> 00:25:17,482      THAT'S THE WAY IT WORKS.  524 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,684  PEOPLE--YOU JUST--   YOU'RE GONNA DIE,  525 00:25:19,718 --> 00:25:21,319  AND IT'S GONNA SUCK,  526 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:24,089     BECAUSE I WAS JUST STARTING       TO FIGURE YOU OUT, SIS.  527 00:25:24,122 --> 00:25:27,492  YOU KNOW?   I WAS JUST--  528 00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:34,366     [voice breaking] I WAS JUST           STARTING TO UNDERSTAND...  529 00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:37,636     THAT YOU'RE THE ONLY THING   I HAVE IN THIS WORLD.  530 00:25:37,669 --> 00:25:39,804  [sobbing]   OH, GOD!  531 00:25:46,411 --> 00:25:48,847  OH, GOD!  532 00:26:01,793 --> 00:26:08,033  - [laughing]  533 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:11,636  YOU THINK  I'M   A LOW-HANGING FRUIT?  534 00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:13,305  OH, YOU SHOULD SEE   YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW.  535 00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:15,206  [laughs]  536 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,543  - WAIT...WHAT...       ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?  537 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,016  YOU'RE GOOD.  538 00:26:25,050 --> 00:26:26,051  [laughing]  539 00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:28,587  GOD, I NEARLY--  540 00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:32,724  I REALLY--   I MEAN, YOU ALMOST--  541 00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:38,096  OH...THAT WAS  GOOD!  542 00:26:38,129 --> 00:26:40,098  - WHY DON'T WE SPARK UP   THAT DOOBIE?  543 00:26:40,131 --> 00:26:41,866  - YES.  544 00:26:49,674 --> 00:26:53,411      - ♪ I'M LYING WIDE OPEN ♪  545 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:57,182     ♪ ON THE HIGH WATER MARK ♪  546 00:26:57,215 --> 00:27:00,251  ♪ ♪  547 00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:03,755  ♪ LEFT BY THE OCEAN ♪  548 00:27:03,788 --> 00:27:07,892      ♪ ABANDONED BY THE TIDE ♪  549 00:27:07,926 --> 00:27:10,095  ♪ ♪  550 00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:13,865  ♪ I'M BEACH TAR   AND TIN CANS ♪  551 00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:17,869      ♪ I'M DRIFTWOOD BLEACHED   TO STRAW ♪  552 00:27:17,902 --> 00:27:20,071  ♪ ♪  553 00:27:20,105 --> 00:27:23,141    ♪ I'M SEAWEED AND WET SAND ♪      66806

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