All language subtitles for Batman.S03E19.1080p.BluRay.x264-DEiMOS.eng

NARRATOR".
A festive day in Gotham City.

And at a civic luncheon
at the Gotham-Astoria...

...Police Commissioner Gordon
is being honored for 25 years of faithful service.

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

Which nobody can deny

Which nobody can deny

Oh. Thank you, Chief O'Hara.
But I really don't think I deserve all this.

- Daddy, you're too modest.
-Sure on that, he is.

Right, Mr. Wayne?

The commissioner deserves far more
than we can ever repay.

He's given the best years of his life
to Gotham City.

Where the devil is Mayor Linseed?

He's supposed to present a special award
to the commissioner.

There he is now, with Mrs. Linseed.

They seem to be arguing about something.

Ladies and gentlemen,
as a token of our appreciation...

...for Commissioner Gordon's long service...

...I wish to present him
with this 24-karat gold watch.

- Commissioner.
-Oh, thank you.

And now...

...due to circumstances beyond my control...

...uh, that is, um, due to
overwhelming considerations...

...I hereby discharge Commissioner Gordon.

And in his stead, I appoint...

...as the new police commissioner
of Gotham City...

...Ms. Nora Clavicle.

The famous Nora Clavicle.

I didn't realize her crusade for women
had gone this far.

I'd say she's won that crusade.

Saints preserve us.

Saints preserve us all.

Thank you, Mayor Linseed.

As the new police commissioner...

...I intend to carry on
my crusade for women's rights.

And to prove that women can run
Gotham City better than men.

Much better.

So my first official act
will be to appoint a new police chief.

Mrs. Linseed.

I had no other choice, Mr. Wayne.

My wife is such a devoted follower
of Ms. Clavicle's crusade for women...

...that she refused to cook or clean
or wash my shirts...

...until I appointed Ms. Clavicle
commissioner of police.

I've worn this shirt for a week.

I haven't had a decent meal in months.

It's all right, Mayor Linseed. We understand.

Commissioner...

...can you ever forgive me?

Of course, Mayor Linseed,
I understand how difficult it was for you.

The question is, how difficult
is it going to be for Gotham City?

One moment, sir.

I mean, ma'am.

It's her, sir.

Yes, Ms. Clavicle?

Commissioner Clavicle, Batman...

...calling to tell you
you can take an extended vacation.

We girls are handling things now...

...and we won't need
any help from you men...

...bat or otherwise.

Goodbye, Batman.

Hmm.
There's something curious about this affair.

Very curious, indeed, sir.

Well, we're dressed for investigating,
let's investigate.

There's nothing to investigate yet, Robin.

However, we could take a ride
around Gotham City just in case.

Well, good luck, sir.
We men are counting on you, you know.

Right, Alfred.

To the Batmobile.

NARRATOR". While, in the secret closet
behind Barbara Gordon's bedroom...

...Batgirl has a very similar idea.

But even as she starts
her own investigation...

...what's happening
in Commissioner Gordon 's--

Er, Commissioner Clavicle's office?

Nora, what you're doing is wonderful.

Women will finally take their rightful place
in the world.

Half the credit is yours, Millie dear.

You reorganized the police department.

It was nothing, really.

Nothing?

To fire every man on the police force
and replace them all with women...

...that was quite a job.

Well, I'd better see
that things are running smoothly.

You do that, dear.

Ah. Now that she's out of the way, you girls
may proceed with Operation Ransack...

...while I proceed
with Operation Disaster Insurance.

But what about Batman and Robin, boss?

Those masked menfolk? Pshaw.

And what about Batgirl?

Oh, yes. I forgot about her.

With a woman helping them...

...Batman and Robin might just
give us some trouble.

But all we have to do is make a call
and lead them into a trap.

We, uh, can't call them, boss.
You, uh, cut the wire.

So I did.
But we can still lead them into a trap.

Well, how? How can we find them?

Where does one usually find
Batman and Robin?

Well, usually they're at the scene
of some crime--

Aha.

Heh. Oh, yes, I see what you mean.

Later at the Gotham City Bank, Angelina
and Evelina are making the scene. Of a crime.

Hand over the goodies and don't dawdle.

- Officer!
-Oh!

Now look what you've made me do.

But there's a robbery.

It's all smeared.

Then add a little paprika
and simmer over a little flame for 15 minutes.

- Don't forget the bay leaves.
-And a peppercorn or two.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you?
When my bank's just been burgled?

I hadn't thought of bay leaves. Yeah.

Officer, chase them!
They've just robbed my bank!

How can I chase them
when they have the car?

And all I have are my new Givenchy shoes.
And I'm certainly not gonna wreck them.

What's that, Car 6?
A clearance sale at Arbech's?

Ooh!

Calling all cars.

Girls, listen. Arbech's has just marked
all their dresses down 20 percent.

I've been cruising around myself, Batman,
and everything seems to be normal so far.

Don't forget the shoe sale at Dubar's, girls.

Wonderful bargains.

Oh, by the way...

...Gotham National Bank
has just been robbed.

But the big news is the two-for-one sale
at Slob's Drugs.

- Holy bargain basements, Batman.
-Our concern is the bargain hunters...

...at the Gotham National Bank.
-Right, Batman.

Thank goodness you're here, Batman.

Two girl bank robbers just robbed my bank,
while the policewomen did nothing.

Then they took off into thin air
in a getaway car.

Sometimes you can see a great deal
in thin air, sir.

You mean, back to the Batcomputer
in the Batcave, Batman?

No time. We'll use the portable Batcomputer
in the Batmobile.

I think I'll tag along, Batman.

The instruments in the Batgirl-cycle
aren't as sophisticated...

...as those in the Batmobile.
-Thank you.

Following the portable Batcomputer's lead...

...the terrific trio drop in on the warehouse
of Dropstitch & Company...

...manufacturers of fine knitting needles.

But who has the drop on whom?

Don't make a move, Batgirl.

Nor you either, Dynamic Duo.

Holy knit one, purl two.

Exactly, Boy Wonder.

This needle is razor-sharp
and can puncture her jugular vein in an instant.

All right, girls.

Let's tie the terrific trio
into terrific Siamese human knots.

You are wise to stay motionless.

Or you will be the terminated trio.

The slightest move by any one of you
will only draw the human knot tighter.

Crush your bones...

...and strangle you.

Holy hamstrings.

Exactly, Robin.

This is torture...

...at its most bizarre and terrible.

I understand your desire to Checkmate us,
Ms. Clavicle.

Commissioner Clavicle, Batman.

But I strongly suspect
there's more to your scheme...

...than just tying us
in a Siamese human knot.

Very observant, Batman.

And you're right. There is more.

Much more.

As soon as night falls...

...I'm planning to destroy all of Gotham City.

- All of Gotham City?
-Why?

Do you know what this document is,
Batman?

If I dared move my head, I might recognize it.
But I daren't.

It's an insurance policy on Gotham City.

Holy underwritten metropolis.

Exactly, boy bowknot.

I've insured Gotham City
for 10 million dollars.

And what do you think it cost me?

Two hundred dollars, perhaps?

Two hundred dollars
for a 10-million-dollar policy?

Yes, Batgirl. Because the risk is so low.

The chances of destroying
an entire city are infinitesimal.

Right again, Batman.

But Gotham City will be destroyed.

I'll collect the 10 million...

...and there won't be any witnesses around
to make trouble.

Oh, you'll find it completely impossible
to ever get out of that human knot.

But it will all be over soon.

Come on, Evelina. Angelina should be outside
with the truck by now.

Don't move.

Do we dare breathe, Batman?

Cautiously, Robin. Cautiously.

Talking has been dangerous enough.

A deep breath might prove fatal.

Are they all set to go off?
One half hour after sunset?

Yes, boss.

Good. That will give them time
to distribute themselves throughout the city.

And when they explode...

...there won't be a building
left standing in Gotham City.

Oh, they're darling little creatures.

Lovely. Lovely.

I loathe standing in lines, Chief O'Hara.

Well, at least it's only one day a week,
commissioner.

Besides, uh, what else can we do?

Get other jobs.

But we've been policemen
almost all of our lives.

- We don't know how to do anything else.
-True enough, Chief O'Hara.

We only know one trade,
and suddenly that trade is closed to us.

Taken over by women.

Begorra, the shame of it.

I can't stand this much longer, Batman.

I'm getting terrible cramps in my legs.

- Good.
-Good?

Terrible cramps?

Exactly, Robin.

The involuntary muscular contractions
in Batgirl's legs...

...may indirectly relieve the tension
in your lower lumbar region.

Holy slipped disk.

Not quite, Robin.

If I can wiggle my ears...

...and if you are able to bend
the fourth finger...

...on your left hand
just a fraction of an inch...

You might strangle us all.

Release us, Batgirl.

It's the basic formula
for escaping from a Siamese human knot.

I just recalled it. Ready?

- Ready, Robin?
-Ready.

I'm beginning to wiggle my ears
under my cowl.

All right.

Releasing my fourth finger.

I'm wiggling.

I've got it.

Gosh, Batman. What a simple way
to get out of a Siamese human knot.

But what do we do now?

Yes, we really know nothing of Ms.--

Commissioner Clavicle's plan
to destroy Gotham City.

Perhaps we can start with that.

What's inside it?

A high explosive charge
and a timing device.

Apparently set to go off
a half an hour after sunset.

But how could a little charge--?

- Holy mechanical armies.
-Exactly, Robin.

There's a legion of these lethal mice whirring
through Gotham City at this very moment.

- We can't catch them all. Not before dark.
-I know.

Robin, call Chief O'Ha--
Chief Linseed on the police channel.

Tell her to mobilize her entire force
and send them out to gather up these mice.

I'll be back by the time you finish that call.

Connect me with Chief Linseed, please.
It's an emergency.

Chief Linseed?

Yes, Robin?

We know about the mice.

But I'm afraid my police force
won't be very much help to you.

Officer, are those mice still down there?

Yes, Chief Linseed.

Oh, excuse me, Robin,
I'm afraid I'm going to faint.

Me too.

I might have known you can't get policewomen
to help you catch mice.

It's diabolical.

I'm afraid you're right, Robin.
But we may have one last hope.

What are you doing, Batman?
This is no time for games.

Robin, look.

How did you do it, Batman?

There's no time to explain, Robin.

I want you both to play
exactly the same tune that you just heard.

Batgirl, you take the east side,
Robin, take west side.

East side, west side. I'll go through midtown.
We'll meet at the docks.

- But--
-Just play, Robin.

Play for all you're worth.

NARRATOR".
With only moments left before disaster...

...the terrific trio
and their retinue of rodents...

...arrive at dockside.

We made it.

With very few moments to spare.

But how did you know they'd follow us,
Batman?

I was able to determine
that the guidance systems in the mice...

...was built around the principle
of high-frequency radar.

So by selecting the right combination
of flute toots...

...I was able to cause those mice
and their homing mechanisms...

...to zero in on the source of the sounds:
the flutes.

The pied pipers of Gotham City.

You might say that.

I see you have
some interesting freight there.

That we do, Batman.
Caught them at the edge of town.

Just as you said we might
when you phoned me.

They were exceeding the speed limit
by a considerable margin, sir...

...so we thought it best
to take them into custody.

You can't arrest us. You have no power.

Citizen's arrest, me fine-feathered females.
Heh.

You should have bought
some prison insurance, Ms. Clavicle.

She'll need it where she's going,
Boy Wonder. A long-term policy...

...with Warden Crichton as the beneficiary.

It'll be nice to have our old jobs backs again,
won't it, commissioner?

It will indeed, Chief O'Hara. It will indeed.

Well, with Nora Clavicord behind bars--

- Chief O'Hara, that's Clavicle.
-Oh.

Well, a rose by any other name,
commissioner.

And what a rose she was.

With Mrs. Linseed under her thumb...

...and all those exploding mice
under her feet.

Yes. At least she didn't pull it off.
Thanks to Batman, Robin and Batgirl.

Do you think we'll have a breather now,
commissioner?

Oh, unless we get some disturbing phone call,
Chief O'Hara.

Commissioner Gordon.

Penguin?

Just let me ask you one thing,
commissioner.

Did you ever hear
of the lethal Lygerian fruit fly?

NARRATOR". And Commissioner Gordon
certainly will hear of lethal Lygerian fruit flies.

And so shall we all when Penguin
pulls his insidious insect antic...

...in our next episode.