All language subtitles for Mr. D s06e09 Busploitation

Sir, it's hard to concentrate.

Sorry, I'll just put it there so it's
not a... Not

really.

So I take it.

How am I supposed to write my test?

It's your problem, not mine.

Sheila.

What? I'm gonna blow her a pat.

No, you might need... Can you

see that?

I'm awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't
lie.

I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my
mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my

life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Oh, God, this is awesome.

You watching Trudy's band perform?

That's good.

How about I shove my band down your
throat?

First of all, that doesn't even make
sense.

How's a whole band supposed to fit down
someone's throat?

Although I heard you tried to swallow
your whole band.

What do you mean, tried?

What are you watching?

Poor bus monitor, being bullied by a
bunch of horrid kids.

Look at that woman's hair.

Big Bird called, wanting her hairstyle
back.

You're worse than the kids, you know
that?

Okay, I'm kidding. That is terrible, but
let's be honest.

Her hair is low -hanging fruit.

Boom. See what I said?

The kid's got it.

Congratulations. You have the wit of a
seventh -grade moron.

Well, at least it paid off for her.

How? The Internet people felt sorry for
her, so they made a Kickstarter to raise

money to send her on a trip.

There you go. Happy ending for Big Bird.

It's already up to $150 ,000.

$150 ,000?

That lady's going to be rich from a few
little insults? You should be a

billionaire. Except her comments weren't
deserved.

You like threesomes, so you shouldn't
say anything.

Yeah, that is correct.

You're on fire, Jerry. Heard you tried
to swallow your band.

Uh, again, not a rumor.

Sounds like one of your band members is
stuck down there.

This is it, Bobby. You can do this.

Moment of truth.

Here we go.

No!

Okay.

Margin of error. Over 99 % accurate.

One more time. Let's go again.

Time's a charm.

Let me go.

No, not yet.

Oh, my gosh. Wow, this is something.

Malik, have you seen this? I do not
trust the liberal media.

Yeah, okay.

Um, but the police have released a
sketch of the person who murdered

wife. How did you do it?

I can't imagine what he's going through.

I can imagine.

And do something similar?

No, no, this very unique situation.

I was just saying, I can imagine.

Oh.

Poor Dwyer.

Poor Dwyer.

He's very, very pretty, though.

Hey, hi. Yeah.

Are you still a bus monitor? Seven years
running. Best part of my day, ensuring

the to and fro safety of those little
ducklings. I want to do it with you.

That's amazing.

I'll finally have someone to sit next
to. I'm going to make a fortune.

Ah, no, it's a volunteer position.

I learned that the hard way.

Did you see the video of the woman on
the bus with the monitor being picked

bullied by the kids? Tragic. It was such
a tragic tale. Had that uplifting

ending, though, where she got that trip,
but then I heard she got food poisoning

at the end of that trip, so real
emotional rollercoaster. I'm going to go

bus, get picked on, make hundreds of
thousands of dollars like she did.

Not the most ethical plan.

It's not about the money, Simon.

It's about shining a light on...

Bus monitor bullying.

That's what I want us to do. You're
using the buzzwords I love to hear.

it's about raising awareness, I am all
in. Hook, line, and sinker. I love it.

Make sure you bring your phone.

Make sure it's charged.

I'll just have to close some games. They
tend to eat up my battery. I got a

class right now. I'm in the middle of
class.

Closing these games.

Little Thief, Babies First, Bratware,
Tinder, Mama's Boy.

What the hell is this game?

Horny Milkman.

I eat lunch off this desk.

Babies are making babies.

That's a lot of positive tests.

I find these in garbage cans. What are
you doing sifting through the garbage,

Malik? Sometimes I get lucky.

I bet this is one of those pregnancy
packs that the kids are doing. Saw it on

Dateline. We need to find these girls
and we need to help them. Somewhere

are 12 scared pregnant little teens.

Or maybe there are just 12 pregnant
teenagers that are just processing this

whole thing, and they didn't realize
Malik was going to be rifling through

garbage and need to be left alone just
to figure things out on their own.

Probably that.

Well, that's ridiculous.

Bobby, as a health teacher, I need you
on the front lines with me. But I'm very

busy, Robert. This is a crisis. We need
to sniff out these pregnant little

women. Let's roll.

I bet Nick Davis is the baby daddy to
all of them. That boy could get me

pregnant.

Hi, Paul.

I just wanted to see how you're holding
up.

I've never been locked in a basement.

Couldn't be better.

Yeah, well, that's great.

Still, it must be tough seeing the face
of your wife's murderer on the news.

No doubt, but I met a special lady.
Life's good.

Nice. You know what they say. God takes
one lady away from you and brings you

another. Is that what God's doing?

There she is right there.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

She's real cool, too.

What's happening? Good? Good.

Who's this?

I'm a colleague.

I'm just a friend.

It's a platonic colleague.

Nisha, Donna, Donna, Nisha.

Nisha.

It's so nice to meet you, Nisha. Thank
you. What part of the city do you live

in? Oh, I moved.

Wait a minute. You're on Carlisle
Street. No, I moved.

When did you move?

Tomorrow.

We'll talk.

Bye, Nisha.

If this is the last time we see each
other, I want you to know.

I'm taking your parking space.

New bus monitor. New bus monitor.

And assistant.

All right.

Okay, let's go.

Oh, bus monitors usually sit at the
front.

All the bad kids walk in at the back.
Better chance.

Nice. Nice.

Hi.

Hey.

Hey, hey.

Okay, good. Put a little scare in them.
Egg them on a little bit.

I'm going to make fun of them.

They're going to say something mean
back.

We're going to focus on that. Okay. The
response.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Got the camera ready? Here we go.

Hey,

Laura. Nice pigtails. You're five years
old. The queen of mean. The king of

sting. Oh, yeah.

Laura.

Hey, Lucas. Jordan Knight called. He
wants his haircut back.

I don't know who that is, but I'm
picking up from your tone that it's

to be hurtful.

Congratulations. You succeeded.

Forget this. I'm going to walk home. You
ripped him.

Run away, Jordan Knight.

That was even working.

These private school kids are too soft.

We are?

Yes, Charlie, you are. Too soft.

Oh, great. Not you, too. You are killing
these kids.

Do you understand how this is supposed
to work?

No, actually. Okay, well then, stop
videoing right now, because it's not

working.

Look at this photo of Donna from Dwyer's
Facebook page.

How can he not see it?

They are identical.

Of course.

All white people look the same to Malik,
so hard to say. You too might be a

murderer. Boy, they do not teach you how
to handle this in teacher's college.

If I tell him, I could be ruining his
one shot at his second shot at love.

If you don't tell him, he might wake up
in pool of his own blood.

It's a tough call.

Not really, but it's okay.

Are you sure this is going to work?

Stick with the plan. This school doesn't
use bus monitors. They let the drivers

do it.

Here, throw these on.

All right. Cool as a cucumber.

Here we go. Here we go.

All right.

Act like we own this. We own this
school.

We got this. We got this. We got this.
We got this. Let's lock and load.

Just try to... What the hell is that?

Oh, so we don't get recognized. We're
not robbing a bank. What do you think's

going on here?

Honestly, Jerry, I'm a little bit
confused.

I told you to follow my lead. Take the
mask off.

Okay, I'll do the talking. Yeah.

I'll be George.

What? I'll be George. Call me George.

If they don't know who I am, I'll be
George. You'll be Jerry and George.

Oh, Seinfeld.

You'll be like, we're not robbing the
bus.

Hello? Patty?

Patty. This is Jerry. I'm George.

Oh.

Patty's a beautiful name. We are your
bus monitors. Today they had signed us.

When did that start?

Uh, they didn't tell you. Today. Today.

Today you should have got a memo in the
bus mailbox. Sounds great to me.

Hop on board. All right. Shut up,
George.

Finally, there you are. We can get
started.

What are you doing?

Pregnant people are in this group behind
me, okay? These are the loosiest of the

goofiest. Are you social profiling right
now? Uh, yes, I am. If somebody's

pregnant, they're in this group. Follow
my lead. Now.

So, morning, ladies. Before we get
started, does anyone have anything

like to confess?

Feeling sick this morning, or hot
flashes, cold feet?

Craving pickles or ice cream? Show of
hands if you're gashing. Okay, that's

enough, Robert.

This is not going nearly as I'd hoped.
You don't say.

Beep.

Hey, any of you gals pregnant?

Is that why we're here?

Okay. Me think the lady doth protest a
little too much.

You can tell me. I'm here to help.

Excuse me? If you tell us what's going
on, if you're brave enough to share your

news, then you'll pave the way for
others to be as brave as you are. It

better. Look, sir, I'm a virgin.

You're a turtle.

I'm a virgin.

Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Robert. That
was a curveball.

You know what? That's enough, ladies. Go
back to class.

That's on me. Yeah. I just thought
Francine was, like, a layup. Stop

Open like a 7 -Eleven. Enough. Well, not
like you to misread a woman, Robert.

Exactly. This is a sensitive time in
these girls' developments, okay? We have

be delicate with how we broach this
subject.

We can't just judge a book by its cover,
Robert.

You're absolutely right. Thank you.

We've been going about this the wrong
way. We've been superficial.

We have to treat the whole student
population like they're floozies. No. No

matter what they look like. No. That is
good work. Nope, that's not. Let's roll.

That's not what I meant.

That's not what I meant. Yeah, I know,
but good luck getting that train back to

the station.

Okay, speeding.

Here they come. Okay.

Look at this guy. Look at this guy. Look
at this guy. Easy, easy prey.

Nice sweater, Sally. Your grandma make
that for you?

She did knit it for me.

What's going on? I think this guy's
trying to say something mean about my

sweater. So why don't you give it back?
Go ahead.

That sweater?

The one your Nana made you before she
died? I didn't know she died.

Are you making fun of Nana's sweater?

Can we stop talking about Nana? How
about we focus on me? Look at this

vest I have to wear. Hold on. Hold on.

Dude says he's glad Nana's dead.

I never said that. That's a lie. I never
said that.

That's too much. Let's get him, guys.

How you doing, Paul?

Um, I'm gonna ask you a question.

What's up?

Who's that?

Yeah, that's the woman who murdered my
wife.

Yeah, it's your wife's murderer.

Now, who's that?

That's Donna.

That's right.

Love her.

Hate her, but love her. Can you hold
that up a little higher for me? There

are. Just hold it nice and close to
Donna.

What do you see?

Want you to look at the murderer?

I want you to look at your girlfriend.

Murderer, girlfriend.

Murderer, girlfriend. Follow me.

Okay.

Do you see any similarity?

Yeah, I see a similarity.

Yeah, they look exactly the same.

Well,

okay. So what are you trying to say?

Cool, I'll say it. It's like they're the
same person, Paul.

Okay? Yeah, it's like maybe you're
dating your wife's murderer.

You guys are killing me. You too?

He thinks that, too.

This is a good one. I'm going to call
her. She'll appreciate this.

There we go.

Hey, babe.

I got a good one for you.

Yeah, my co -workers think you murdered
my wife.

What?

Yeah. Oh, snap.

I got to go.

I'm sorry.

Life.

You know what?

At least she's an honest person.

What? He took the scenic route, but he
got there eventually.

Sure. These kids really beat the crap
out of you.

I let them, right? Because physical
abuse is worth more than verbal. I'm

to make a fortune here. We're going to
raise so much awareness for school bus

monitor bullying.

Yeah, that too.

But this beating just goes on and on.

It kind of escalates, too. It gets even
more ferocious. You'd think they'd tire

themselves out, but they just kept
going. Yeah, it was quite a performance

on. There's so much panic in your voice.

Get that online as quickly as possible,
okay?

Eat your heart out, Chiwetel Ejiofor.

Well, it's happened again.

Another case of school bus violence. A
third grade student... Viciously attack

bus monitor.

My word travels fast. Sure does. The
whole thing was caught on tape.

A warning to our viewers. The footage
can be difficult to watch. Unbelievable.

And is quite pathetic.

Never make fun of my dinner! Oh my God,
this worked.

Wow. They are really going to town on
you.

It's all part of the show, Bill. The
public reaction has been similar to

previous incidents, with the Kickstarter
campaign having already raised over $60

,000 of the show's support.

Oh, my gosh.

$60 ,000 already.

This time, however, the funds are being
raised to help the children.

Calling them victims of circumstance.
The kids?

The kids? What are the systemic failures
leading such young children to turn to

violence? What services can be created?

What the hell's that right there? No
justice in the world, Jerry. Do you even

get a swing in?

Shut up, Bill.

Well, you brought some of that anger to
the fight. You're taking one of these

kids out.

Nicole, I'm really sorry about Donna.

What are the odds, right?

One in a million.

Exactly.

My girl is one in a million.

What? Mr. Dwyer, you have a collect call
from Northgate Detention Center on line

three.

How you doing?

Yeah, I miss you too. What are you
doing? You just turned her in.

Listen, every relationship got ups and
downs, okay? Just like any other couple.

No, no. Call me back.

She said the food sucks in there. Poor
thing.

Poor thing.

Ladies, we wanted to rap with you about
a

big teenage preganante elephant in the
room. Yes. Thank you, Mr.

Cheely.

You know, an unplanned pregnancy can
happen to just about anybody.

Excuse me. Oh, dear. No, I'm okay. I'm
so sorry.

Come in.

You know, we've all made mistakes,
right? And some of them are huge,

mistakes. Easy. I mean, if you should
find yourself,

it's not the end of the world.

Because we are here as your... Did you
have salmon?

No. He's basically saying it's a shared
responsibility, all right, ladies? A

team effort.

Support from both people. You know, the
good news is because you're young, once

you do ptings and everything will just
back up to its firm, high place because

your body is essentially elasticized.

Oh, excuse me.

Okay.

Come on, Bobby, you're a disaster.

Trent, sounds like we might have a hot
mic. Can you kill the mic, please?

Oh, dick.

This took a bit of a strange turn, so
maybe we should call it. My door is

open. Call me, tech.

Why would I have tequila with Robert?

I can't believe that idiot's the father.

I'm going to have a little chili baby.

I come across on the Internet this video
of a bus

monitor getting beaten up.

Like destroyed.

What kind of video? It's that one where
a bunch of children jump a 40 -something

-year -old person about your bill. Poor
guy.

Cut the crap, Jerry. I know it was you.

Me what? Me? Why would you think that
was me? What are you doing, Jerry? Why

you on another school bus?

Okay, fine.

Sue me.

But I wanted to experience what it was
like to be a bus monitor.

Because that's every teacher's dream, to
be a bus monitor. Sorry, backfired a

little bit. Well, I am so sorry. I had
no idea that it was your lifetime goal

be a bus monitor. I will do the best
that I can to correct this oversight

I've made. Don't worry about it. No,
it's clearly a dream. No, it's too late.

Because as much as those kids smashed my
face in over and over again, you have

smashed my feelings.

Careful what you wish for.

Let's get going here.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, boy.

Move your foot.

Seat's taken, so get out of here. You
think I want to sit here? It's the last

seat on the bus. I don't like it any
more than you do.

Fine, but no talking.

You might want to put some steak on
that.

I said no talking.

Sure, no talking.

Hey, bus driver, speed up a little bit.
Speed up a little bit. Speed up a little

bit. Everybody!

Hey, bus driver, speed up a little bit.
You're going way too slow.

I just said no talking.

I wasn't talking. I was singing.

I like doing this the whole way.