All language subtitles for Mr. D s05e03 Wrestling for Love

This woman is my destiny.

She took my...

That's my cardio.

That's my towel.

Sorry.

It was fun.

So those were quite the dance moves.
Let's do it again for real sometime.

What?

Pam. That's me.

Wow, your number.

Jerry. Nice to meet you. That was quick
and easy. It was really easy. Well, I

don't have to. No, no.

I like easy.

All right, then.

All right. Save that. Nice to meet you,
Jerry.

Well, thank you, Pam.

I'll call you.

Shut up and dance.

Doesn't make sense.

Excited, though. Excited.

I'm awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't
lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in

my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of
my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

This changes everything.

You are still my son.

Game changer.

Simon.

What's going on? You're all a tizzy.

Ain't nothing going on except I'm Jewish
now. No way.

Turns out my dad was Jewish and my mom
converted before she had me, so you're

looking at the newest Jew.

So jelly.

You know, Madonna didn't find out she
was Jewish until she was in her 40s, and

that worked out awesome.

That's a good point. And I finally know
how Moses felt, so check that off the

old bucket list. I see this as a win.

Oh, goodbye bacon, shrimp, and cheese
omelets every Sunday and Monday and

Tuesday. Hello.

What do Jewish people eat? Bagel.

Bagel. Want to hear a joke?

Yeah. Why are seagulls called seagulls?
Why?

Because if they flew over the bay,
they'd be bagels.

That's offensive.

Jerry, just what I was looking for. I
can't believe I'm asking you this,

especially after last year with what
happened to Coach Keenan.

That was so sad.

Yeah, it was sad.

Anyway, Mr. McKay is off sick for the
week, and I need you to take two of his

wrestlers to a really important meet.

Sure. I can do that. I asked Bobby.

She's super busy.

I asked a lot of people.

Nobody could do it.

Well, you got me now, so I will do it.
It's easy. Even thought about asking

Malik? Can you believe that that's not
legal?

Okay. Bring the two kids back.

Not only will I bring back two children,
I will bring back two trophies, because

that's our role when I coach. It doesn't
matter the sport.

Great. It's about time.

All right, guys.

I understand we're going to regionals. I
will be taking you there.

If I win, I go to nationals, sir.

Let's get you to nationals. Not if you
win, when you win, Lucas, because that's

how I coach.

If I win, it'll be my third win in a row
at regionals.

Well, okay, that's not going to lie.
That's hard to believe that you've won

anything. There's no one else in his
weight class.

He's been cruising through every
tournament.

Okay, well, it doesn't count if you're
not really fighting anyone.

Tell that to the six trophies sitting on
my mantle. Yeah, but those trophies

mean nothing. They're just tokens of
nothing. You haven't done anything.

Try me.

Yeah, I'm game.

Try what?

Chicken.

You want me to wrestle you?

I'm not down here to smell the mats.

Sure. Let's see the point of this.

Okay. All right.

Hello there.

You know what? I'll come back to you.
You wait there. You wait right there.

wait right there. And this thing I think
I've got.

Six trophies.

There we go.

That's a reverse pin.

How's that mad smell?

Okay, you happy?

Three out of five.

Okay. Oh, wow.

Four out of seven.

we was wrestling my grandpa.

Okay, all right, here we go.

All right, there we go.

Damn it, I thought I had you this time.

Oh, boy.

So then I say to her, well, that's not
yeast, but it is definitely infected.

Oh, yeast, like baking.

Frank? Oh, hey, Lisa, what's up? I'm
going to need to see you in my office.

She needs to see me in her office.

You know what that means?

No, what?

Vag city.

Population, this guy.

Oh, I can do this.

I need your permission forms. Let's go.

What's on your neck?

That looks like a hickey. Why would I
have a hickey? I'm not 14, okay? It's

probably a bug bite or something. He's
right. What woman would stoop that low?

Uh, for information, I've had three
women give me hickeys three times in...

are you doing?

Yeah, that's ringworm. What?

What the hell is ringworm? It's a fungal
infection on the skin. It runs rampant

in wrestling circles.

Why the hell would I have it? I'm not a
wrestler.

I don't know. Maybe you're disgusting.

Or maybe I got it from two wrestlers
that I've been hanging around with

That's impossible.

Neither of us have it yet. If I get
ringworm, I'll be disqualified.

You're not going to get ringworm. It's
pretty contagious.

Look, you don't have it right now, so
I'll make sure you don't get it. I'll

some cream on it. Now suck it up and
toughen up. It's a little itchy bug

I can't even see anything.

Where? There's nothing there.

Oh, give me a break, you guys. Are you
serious?

Way to spread your filth around, sir.

Oh, no, you guys got it too?

Well, it's not my filth. You're patient
zero. This is definitely your fault. And

plus, you were supposed to spray the
mask before practice. All right, how am

supposed to know you're supposed to
spray the mask? Coaching 101.

They're going to be college scouts with
me. This will cost me a scholarship.

It's not going to cost you a
scholarship.

All I had to do was show up and collect
another trophy.

That's why they call me Golden Boy.

Okay, no one calls you that, Alex.

Well, they certainly won't now.

Take it easy.

You really crapped down the chimney on
this one, sir. I told Miss Mason we'd

come back with two trophies, and we will
come back with two trophies. Leave it

with me. I'm in charge, and I'll get out
of here.

Find me some cream or something for
this.

Here is my attendance, Trudy.

Thank you.

Oh, Robert, quick question.

I was wondering if we could do something
about the lack of kosher options in the

cafeteria. Certainly look into it,
Simon. Don't see why not. God bless you.

Also, I'm going to have to start leaving
early on Fridays for Shabbat. Doesn't

start till sundown. Yeah, but I'm going
to need prep time, get my Sabbath on. I

don't see letting you go before the end
of the school day.

I see what's going on here.

You're an anti -Semite.

I can see that.

Can't believe I missed it.

Blonde hair, nice jaw, blue eyes.

You're beautiful.

Well, thank you. You're an Aryan
miracle.

You look like the man who bought my
sister.

No way.

Hitler's wet dream.

Hey, Shlomo.

You know you're not really Jewish,
right?

Not unless you've had a bris.

A what?

Circumcision. You know, snip -snap.

I get the snip -snap.

You're Jewish?

Manscaping accident.

So the guy who bought your sister
handsome?

What'd your sister go for?

He's by the pond.

Oh, dear God. Okay.

Cool, be cool.

Okay, here we go, here we go.

Hola, como esta?

Muy bien, gracias.

Terrible.

But it's not shit. Anyway, fresh from
our training camp in Mexico, Xavier

Academy, here for inspection.

You know the drill coach?

You're not aware of any infections or
diseases in your wrestlers? Please note

that withholding of information can lead
to team suspensions or bans. We have

nothing like you said.

Maybe a little Montezumas, right?

Lower your finger, please.

Unburned. Told you to put sunscreen on.

You ought to look good to feel good.

Step forward. It's got a point.

29 .5. That puts you at 31 and under.

Anyone else in that weight class?

Doesn't look like it. Golden boy wins
again.

Woo! Come on up, Jose.

That's what I call him.

I gained five pounds?

Yeah, you're at the buffet every day, El
Jefe. Maybe you needed to get

Montezumas. You should have drank the
water.

Way to go, Nacho Grande.

Here I am. The whole package.

Have a seat, Frank.

I called you in to talk about your
inappropriate behavior with Nisha.

Okay. I understand.

You do?

Yes, of course. You're jealous.

Excuse me?

As flattered as I may be.

This has to stop. You're the principal
now. You wouldn't be right.

What in God's name are you talking
about, Frank?

Does the raw chemistry between us still
burn a white hot?

No. Like the power of a thousand suns,
yes.

There are no suns, Frank.

And are we meant to be together?

Obviously. Okay, I think you really
misinterpreted why I called you in here.

Don't make this any harder than it has
to be.

I'm an incredibly virile man standing in
front of an impossibly lonely woman,

asking her to let go.

Goodbye, Lisa.

Sorry.

Goodbye, Principal Mason.

What just happened?

All right, let's go. Let's go. Take that
trophy home.

See what's going on here.

Obviously, you've got it and we've got
it. Keep this between us. It's our

secret. By the way, spray tans and
genius.

Thank you.

Makeup, not so bad either.

May the best man win.

Pace yourself, Lucas. Pace yourself.

Let's get that trophy.

Here we go.

Hello, Trudy.

Behold, I am now officially Jewish from
crown to urethra.

Mazel tov. My foreskin is now a
threeskin.

No more dipping the old dangle.

Oh, my God, are you all right? It's the
most pain I've ever experienced in my

life. I've got to wear a sock on it to
try and cushion the blood.

It sort of plaps up against the inside
of my leg when I walk. Yeah, I don't

the detail.

Plop, plop.

It is no picnic.

But Moyle says that old Simon will be
okay so long as Simon Jr. doesn't wake

from his nap to catch my drift.

Malik Jr. still bleeds when I sneeze.

Yeah, that's quite a turn on, Malik.
Hey, Simon.

Hi. I'm Trudy. I've got those entries
for the morning bulletin that you asked

for. Oh.

Oh, no.

Did you do something different?

Haircut? I don't know.

Oh, okay.

There we go.

Hey, Trudy. You know that kid that

was supposed to be not here today?

He is here. So is that... Hey, Sam.

Hi, Bobby.

Hi. Oh.

You're a sight for sore eyes. Gosh,
thank you.

Just keep doing what you're doing.
You're welcome.

Oh, Simon.

Oh, wait, Bobby, don't... I got it.

Stuck to the floor a bit, but I got it.

Bobby. Look at me. I'm Simon. I take the
spare sock to school just in case.

That's what I do.

Bobby, give me the sock, please.

Oh, look at me. I'm Simon, and I have a
spare sock that I'll... Bobby, please

give me the sock. Okay.

That's fun.

What's with him? He had a little work
done. I don't think it would have

off if he'd put it over his balls.

Now, the red on the sock, don't worry
about that. That was probably just a

little blood because a couple of
stitches must have let go. No biggie.

And then I... Seriously?

Don't sit there.

Why would you sit there?

This is where winners sit. This is where
winners sit.

Okay?

Man.

No, no.

This whole section is for winners, okay?

Okay? Thank you.

No, no, no. No, no. Winners who did
something.

Got everyone out there today, kid.

But you can't win them all. I can.

Not now, Alex. No one cares.

Good game to you, too, coach.

Yeah.

Yeah. Good game.

Good match.

Good fight.

Better luck next time. Yeah, better luck
next time. Why don't you come rub it

in?

Hey, uh, Dr. Oz.

Uh, that young man over there has some
ringworm on his neck covered up by

makeup. Are you serious?

Yeah, I'm serious.

I wouldn't joke about that for the
safety of the kids.

Okay. Guys, let's go. We gotta go. Hurry
up. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry,

hurry. Let's go.

Hurry up.

Grab your participation medal there.

Let's go.

Come on. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up,
hurry up.

This ought to put a little sunshine in
your face.

Two trophies I said I would bring back.
What?

Well, those are your first two trophies.
I thought Lucas lost.

Yeah, I did lose.

No, the other guy was disqualified.

That's incredible.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow. So, first two trophies ever as
principal brought to you by

Jerry Duncan.

So I won? Fair and square.

I won.

Yeah? You're welcome.

Thank you, Lucas.

And make sure that you thank Mr. McKay
when he gets back. The work that man has

put into this. It's so nice to see it
pay off. The guy who called in sick for

the big meet.

Yeah, let's thank him. Let's thank him.
No, make sure you thank him. Because he

did a lot of work in bed.

Cafeteria ladies.

How about thanking them?

Wouldn't want to thank me who brought
them in.

Cafeteria ladies, without those lunches,
without those hash browns and french

fries every day, chocolate milk, that's
healthy.

They call it penile gigantism. That's
the medical term anyway.

You don't say.

Yeah, small curse, huge blessing.

No kidding.

Sounds good and bad.

Nisha, I'm sorry. Could you excuse us
for a minute? Oh, yeah.

Here we go again.

Frank.

Your behavior lately has been
completely... Shh.

I know, Lisa.

I know.

But I'm trying to say you're being
inappropriate.

I know.

I always know. What do you know? We are
sexual beings. We just can't go there.

Will we be living a lie? For sure.

But it's a lie this school needs right
now. I will always remember you.

I'll never forget you.

But I will move on.

If you're not interested, no big deal. I
don't know.

I'm not interested. Of course I'm
interested.

It's embarrassing, but I had a rash.

It was all over my body. It was ringworm
or something. I wanted that rash to

clear up before I wanted to take you out
for a drink.

Are you kidding?

That's nothing to be embarrassed about.
I get it all the time.

Sorry? Oh, yeah. I've had it on and off
for months now. I can't seem to shake

it, but whatever, right?

Look, I got this couple there on my
chest.

Oh, and these ones on my arm here.

I have some great ones on my back, a
nice big group of them. I've got one on

thigh. I think you'd really like it.

It's pretty special.

That's my towel. My towel. Can you see
it? Yeah. And this one up here on my

neck. Big one.

Yeah. So why don't we just, I'll grab my
stuff and we can go get that drink

tonight. Tonight is not good, but I have
your number.

And you'll go. I'll call you.

Why don't you get rid of the...

Boy, I'm blotting.

That's hitting all the right notes.

Really infusing my body with all the...
Oh, my God.

Oh, why is that happening?

Oh, why is that... Oh, gosh. Oh, why is
that happening?

Bobby, could you get in here for a
second, please? What is it?

What's wrong?

You okay?

Oh, yeah.

What's happening?

Would you mind just sitting there while
I finish my soup?

lunch time together i'd love that we
haven't had lunch together for ages you

don't have to say anything you could
just sit there okay you get my lunch and

then we can actually eat something on my
top