All language subtitles for Mr. D s04e12 Bizarro

Man, I had a crazy dream yesterday.

So did I.

I felt terrible.

I think it was something I ate.

Oh, my. I do have the dreams crazy.
Brown meat pudding.

Oh, that tasted funny.

You work through lunch again?

It's not work if you love what you're
doing, Jimmy.

Regarding the tests you just wrote, I
have already marked them.

You'll get those at the end of the class
because I don't want you to be

distracted during my lesson.

Now, last health class, we talked about
the bones of the hip, the ilium, the

ischium, the pubis. Today, we're going
to talk about the bones of the hands,

carpals, the metacarpals, and the
phalanges.

Question, Jimmy.

Okay. This is less of a question, more
of a statement. Okay. I just wanted to

thank you.

for all of your hard work all year.

I didn't expect this.

Your unit on injury prevention made me
realize that I want to be a phys ed

teacher just like you.

Way to go, Jimmy.

What do I always say, Lori?

Reach for the stars.

Reach for the stars, Jimmy. Atta boy.

Yes, David.

I hope you don't mind, Mr. D, but we've
all requested that you be named Teacher

of the Year for the fourth year in a
row.

No!

I'm giving it to someone else if I win.

Jimmy?

I've decided to stay for another year
with you. I feel like I have so much

to learn.

No! I want you to graduate and get on
with your life.

Get in here, silly!

Everybody get in here!

No! I just love this...

My kids, my class, you're like my
children.

I'm awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't
lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in

my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of
my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Sorry to bother everybody. If I could
just make a quick announcement. Hey,

talking.

Hey, Jerry.

Hey, Lisa.

I will be doing my fourth Ironman this
year in support of juvenile deaf

dyslexia. If any of you could make a
small donation, that would be greatly

appreciated. I'll give $500.

Wow. On behalf of dyslexic deaf
children, Lisa.

I wish I could do what you do.

Be kind to yourself.

Yeah.

Good morning, everyone.

Settle down, please. Settle.

Hey, Vice Principal Galka speaking,
everyone. Sit down. Thank you, Simon.

you, everybody, for sitting down, albeit
slowly.

This is... You're late, Mr. Dwyer.

What do you mean, you people?

I don't think I said that. I think I
probably would never.

Okay, anyway, this is an important day
because I am introducing our fearless

leader, my hero, August... Okay, Bobby,
thank you. I got this. You got it.

All right, quick announcement.

We've received our final reviews from
the board. And unfortunately, the

are not good. Boo.

Mr. Callahan, your team was disqualified
from the semifinals because you forgot

there was a game.

My bad.

Mr. Malik, you recently requested that
your students remove their heads from

betwixt their buttocks.

Would you prefer they kept them up
there?

You know what? That attitude is... Okay.
I've got this. Yep.

People, this is unacceptable.

You all have to shape up.

Well, everyone except you, Duncan,
obviously.

Impossible to improve upon perfection.

Thank you, Principal Walsh, but I
believe we're all trying to do our best

through this crazy thing we call life.
Shit's only crazy because the white man

made it crazy.

Perhaps Paul has a point, so on behalf
of all white people, I would like to

apologize. Yep.

All the white people are sorry, Paul,
okay?

You're good, Malik. I just want to take
this opportunity.

No, we're good. Teach hard.

Okay.

What in the name of all that is holy?

Dude, do you know my photocopy code?

Are you serious?

It's 1955.

I tell you every day. Really?

If only there was an easy way to
remember that. It's your birth year, you

jackass. Wow, I'm getting up there. Hey,
Mike, do you know where the French

department is?

No.

Idiot. Hey, I stayed up all night
drawing up plays for today's game.

Those are wonderful, Bill, but I already
did that, you see? I just rustled that

up. See the pick and the man coming
around?

Gee, that's why you're the head coach.

Don't. No, I have no dexterity with a
paintbrush.

I got a couple of hockey tickets if
you're interested, Jerry.

You know what, Emma? That is awesome. I
will take Steve. Thank you.

Who's Steve?

Steve, our math teacher, who just found
out he has arthritis.

He's down in the dumps. He loves this.
He'll go unless you want to go with him.

I'm so ashamed. I assumed that I would
take one of the tickets, but now I

realize how selfish that was. Thank you
for teaching me.

Anywho, a bunch of us were talking, and
we've all decided that we are totally

fine with a sister -wife situation.

Ladies, we've gone through this.

Please.

Bobby, you're like my boss.

For the record, I saw myself as the
primary wife.

Hey, what are you doing later?

Feel like grabbing a manly scotch or
something? I can't, Lisa.

I have to tutor a boy in the hospital at
night.

I'm free.

No.

Come on, Jerry.

Some other time, then? No, he's very
sick and...

He's in a coma, and I know he hears me
because his eyes flutter like this, and

we talk through his eye communication.

Oh.

You're my hero, buddy.

Yeah. Throw another time, then.

Take it easy, Lisa. He said he's busy.
You know what? You just need to back

okay? That's not necessary, girls. You
back off.

Okay, ladies. Okay, you know what? You
both actually need to back off.

This is so hot.

Hit her again. I gotta go. Teach.

Now look, you drove him away, you bitch.
How you doing, man? Son of a bitch.

Robert,

how might I be of service?

Sorry to bother you.

Um, as I've mentioned before, I can't
go... Shant.

I shant go until everyone has left the
building. That's when I can lock up. All

the other teachers have been gone for
hours, so if you wouldn't mind...

I wasn't clear enough the first hundred
times we've had this conversation.

My work necessitates this whiteboard,
which is secured to

the wall.

Perhaps... You can take advantage of
this time to make sure the school

is absolutely spotless.

Consider it a mop -portunity.

How do you do that with words?

Run along now.

Would you mind?

You made me, coach.

Raph, stop. Stop, Raph.

John.

Jerry. I filled up all the water
bottles.

I'm so glad you're here, Bill.

Terrence, get in there.

What? What?

You heard me. Get in there. Let's see
what you got.

Jerry, you crazy? We're down one.

Are you sure about this?

I've never been more sure about anything
in my entire life.

Let's go. Get in there, T -man.

See what you got, buddy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Without the wheelchair.

Hey, I don't condone this at all.

He's paralyzed here. That's not how it
works.

I'm doing it. We're doing it.

Let's go, D -Man!

A miracle.

Let's go. Let's go.

Move it around. Move it around. Watch
for that pick.

Watch for that pick.

Principal Walsh.

That was quite the performance, Duncan.

Oh, that? No, that kid always had it in
him. He just needed someone to show him

he could do it.

Walk? Yeah, walk. That was really
wonderful.

In fact, everything you do is really
wonderful.

Well, thank you.

It's too wonderful.

What? You're making everybody else look
bad.

Nobody can measure up to you. And you
know what? The board's starting to take

notice. I'm only human. I'm just doing
my thing.

You're superhuman. And if you continue
on this way, I'm going to have to...

I'm going to have to fire the entire
staff.

No. I need you to dial it back to subpar
at best.

Wow. You want me to teach badly and
never plan classes, always be late, take

months to hand things back?

Wonderful thinking again.

Thanks, Duncan.

I'll try.

If I was the French department, where
would I be?

I love you.

I love you.

Okay. Jot, one of the greatest movies of
all time. Roy Scheider, great actor.

Sir, did you show us that film to
demonstrate the dangers of overfishing?

Well, that is one reason, but I also
wanted to drill home the damaging

of man's encroachment on... That's a
stupid question,

actually, David. Obviously, I had
nothing planned today, so I just popped

movie, okay? Are you all right, sir? I'm
fine.

Get out, Jimmy.

Yeah, get out of my class.

Well, sir, you never show us movies in
class.

Well, that's changing now. I'm going to
show a lot of movies, movies I like. And

you still haven't given our tests back.

And you might not get them for a month.

Get to work. I'm sick of you guys.

What are you doing? Oh, my God, I'm so
sorry. I'm so sorry.

So when do you guys teach?

We mostly just have coffee.

Oh,

hey, Mr. D.

Alex here is competing in the National
Chess Championship.

That's great.

And everybody knows that nobody plays
chess like you do.

I'd be so grateful, sir, if you would
coach me before the tournament.

I'm sure Miss Mason can do it, Alex.

Oh, I can't do that.

I'm just a woman. I'm not good at games
of strategy.

Well, I can't help you, Alex.

I can't help anyone. Now go. Get out of
here.

Stop crying.

Jerry, what's the matter with you?

You want to talk about it? Maybe have a
lie down?

No, I can't talk about it to anyone.

You get out of here, too. Go.

Terry. Ah,

Robert. Mr. Malick, I noticed you're
leaving at a decent hour today. Just

to say thank you. How dare you hold me
hostage to the light. Consider yourself

lucky that I did not smite you. What?

Enjoy unsoiling my classroom.

Wow.

the devil? That's right, Mr. Malick. I
am the devil. And if it's a war you

it's a war you've got.

Bad dramatic, isn't it? You think so?

Don't forget, I own all the garbage at
the school.

I know everyone's secret. I know that
you speak with a fake British accent

because you're ashamed of being
Australian.

Crikey. Wouldn't you, by?

You think Miss Walsh runs the school?

I run the school.

That's why you never mess with the
janitor. What are you going to do

to me? What am I going to do?

I'm going to take this bleach and I'm
going to go wash out the urinal.

Look,

Miss Walsh.

I don't know if I can do this anymore.
I'm not being a very good teacher. I

hardly have my lesson plans done.

I'm showing a lot of movies lately. I
hardly know the answers to some of the

kids' questions.

It's like you're sabotaging me. It's
like you're trying to ruin my life.

Jimmy? Hey, sir.

Why would you do this to me? Because I
can.

Well, look who's back.

Trudy, what are you doing there?

It's a little thing called work. You
might want to give it a try sometime.

Ow!

Do that again, and by tomorrow morning,
those will be hanging with these.

Okay.

Okay, Trudy.

Doctor's note, Duncan.

Robert.

Well, if I was healthy enough to go see
the doctor, I would have just come to

school, right?

You know what I'm sick of, Duncan?

This malaise -faire attitude towards
being sick.

There's the puns I love.

Everything's back to normal. This is
normal.

Thank you.

Aha!

Excuse me.

Hey, Simon.

Hey. Hey. Yeah, um, have you seen the
French department room?

Are you kidding me? The French
department? They haven't had their own

like, 50 years.

Right.

It was real.

Here you are, you son of a bitch.

I thought I told you, never come to my
work. When we got divorced, we both

agreed to the settlement.

I knew I should have killed you in your
sleep while I still had the chance.

Nope. Just a dream.

My bad.

Ah, Mr. Malick. Good.

I've been looking for you everywhere to
talk about the chewing gum under the

tables in the cafeteria.

Can I point something out?

Look at all the fingerprints on these
windows. There's about a week's worth of

buildup on them.

I'll be in my office, but if anybody
asks, I'm not.

So?

Lucky you were this time.

English spoken here.

But if you can do me a favor and
remember when you're cleaning to do it

circular motion, that would be just
great.

Bye.

Did you have the meatloaf here?

Yes, I did. I had three helpings of the
meatloaf. The meatloaf caused those bad

dreams. I do suffer the meatloaf dream.

The meatloaf dream.

The meatloaf dream.

Man, it was brutal.

I will never eat the meatloaf here
again.

No, I'm packing my own lunch from now
on.

No, no, no, no, no.

What?

Meatloaf at the cafe.

My favorite.

Uh, Robert, I... Sweet

dreams. It's like biting into an angel's
diaper.

awesome awesome awesome

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