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Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.
She didn't care if the whole world looked.
Joan of Arc was the lord to guide her.
She was a sister who really could.
Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't you glad she showed up?
Oh, yeah.
And the country was falling apart.
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.
And the dance party.
And then there's Maud.
And then there's Maud. And then there's Maud. And then there's Maud. And then
there's Maud. And then there's Maud.
That'll compromise and enterprise and anything but tranquilize. Happy
New Year.
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
Let's have a song for Walter.
For Walter
Finley, the greatest, I mean the greatest boss in
the world.
Look, gang, gang, you're making it very tough on me because I have an unhappy
announcement to make.
You're all fired.
Now, let's get over to that punch bowl and refill your glasses.
Come on, finish that eggnog on the double.
You're all behind schedule. Last time this year, four of you had passed out
already.
To Lord Finley, the greatest boss's wife in the world.
Thank you, thank you. No, no, no, we thank you for having us to your lovely
again. It's my pleasure.
Where else would Walter's wonderful associates have their office party? No,
belong here, in the warmth of our home, drinking festive eggnog out of our best
Dubinware. So enjoy yourselves.
Come on, get over and get yourself a drink. Walter, shut up. Get yourself a
drink. Maud, is this our best Dubinware? We don't have any Dubinware.
Martin is here.
More hors d 'oeuvres?
Oh, thank you.
It's a wonderful party.
You know, I don't know why we always wait until Christmas to get together
you and Fred.
Now, we must have you over to dinner some evening.
We'd love that.
Fine. What night would be convenient?
Like I told you last year, any night is fine.
Has it been a whole year since... Well, this year we're definitely going to get
together. As a matter of fact, I'm going to have Walter arrange it with Fred
right now. Walter!
Honey.
Darling, we must have Fred and Margaret over to dinner. We sure do.
What night is good for you, Fred?
Any night.
Any time, Ward. Then it's all arranged.
We'll see you then.
Merry Christmas, Mrs. Finley. And the very same to you.
Who are you?
I guess you don't recognize me out of uniform.
I'm Henry Peterson.
Your mailman?
The mailman, of course. Won't you come in? No, no, no.
Thanks. Look, I know this is not my usual hour, but my wife and I are
Jersey to be with the sister over the holiday, and I won't be stopping by
tomorrow. Oh, and you came about the gift.
Well, you won't be seeing me tomorrow.
Oh, then I'm so glad you came tonight, Mr. Peterson.
You know, one of the great joys of Christmas is being able to give gifts
to those who have given so unselfishly of themselves throughout the year.
But just because my husband pays your salary out of his federal taxes doesn't
mean that you have to come late and down with gifts for us. Leave our presents
in the car and be assured that your sincere wish for a Merry Christmas is
all Mr. Finley and myself.
And the very same to you.
You having fun, Harriet? Oh, great, great, great.
Harriet, you look lovely in that dress.
Oh, it's thank you, Mr. Spindley. Oh, come on now, Harriet. The matchbook
and the paper napkins do not say Mr. and Mrs. Spindley. They say Walter and
Maude, and so should you.
All right, Maude. That's much better, Harriet.
Walter, did you see how I made Harriet feel that we're not just employers, but
that we're friends on a first -name basis?
I think you made her feel uncomfortable.
Oh, nonsense, Walter. I want everyone to call me Maude. But I don't think she
wants everybody to call her Harriet.
Her name's Helen.
while we're all here?
Oh, it might spoil his Christmas, Gus. This is no time to tell Waller that his
employees are going to join a union.
Who cares about Finley's Christmas? The union comes first. But this is a social
evening. Charlie, either you're with us or you're against us. I say we tell them
now.
Florida, dear, I'll help you clean up so that you can leave by eight. I know you
want to be with your own family tonight.
Although, Florida, in a way, this is your home and we're your family, too.
Then it must have been an oversight.
What? I didn't see my name on the napkins.
Florida, your name is engraved in our hearts. We love you.
And that's why we understand why you want to be with your own family on
Christmas Eve.
It's been a habit ever since the missionaries converted us.
Florida, come on. This is your Christmas as much as it is ours.
You know, when Jesus was born and all those people came and gathered around
manger, three wise men came and gathered around also in Florida.
One of those wise men was black.
Probably the one that cleaned up after the gathering.
Excuse me, that's probably the garbage man with more gifts.
Okay. Okay, if you're too chicken to tell them, I will.
Listen. Let's ask Maude's opinion.
Merry Christmas, Maude. Merry Christmas.
Carol,
Chris is here.
Everybody, everybody, everybody.
I want you to meet Chris.
My daughter's intended.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Oh, that face.
That baby face. I could just squish it to pieces.
What's that abroad you?
Hi, Chris. Hi. Listen.
I really wanted to come wrapped as a gift, but the way your mother tweaks me,
was afraid she'd ruin the wrapping.
Hey, Philip, you practice your Christmas carols? Yep.
Hope the people give me lots of money.
Philip, we don't sing Christmas carols to make money.
Jesus taught us to sing out of love for the goodness and the kindness and the
spirit of brotherhood in the hearts of our fellow human beings.
And speaking of human beings, honey, don't go into any strange houses.
And if they give you candy, don't eat it. You never know what they put in it.
Father, I don't think Jesus taught us that.
Jesus was born in Bethlehem, not in New York.
Papa.
I don't understand you.
Why'd you ask her? She's his wife.
Maude, can I ask your advice?
Well, of course. About what, Charlie? Well, there's something we want to ask,
Walter. But I figured we should ask you first, because... Well, I wouldn't want
to spoil that wonderful guy's Christmas.
What is it, Gus?
Tell her, Charlie.
Well, we all had a meeting a couple of days ago, and we decided to unionize.
Our little store is finally big enough to be unionized? That's wonderful!
Oh, Gus, you thought Walter would be upset? Walter?
The staunchest union man in the world? Oh, Charlie Gus, this'll be Walter's
biggest thrill since the lettuce pickers won that toilet in the fields.
It's traditional, like his Easter bunny suit.
Okay, okay. Now, look.
Before I pass out your bonuses, I want you to know what an honor it is for
me to be your employer.
Oh, what the heck am I talking about? Not employer.
You're my friend.
That's right, we are. And this isn't liquor talking.
No? No, because I'm off the booze, as you know.
bonus checks every year is one of the big joys of my life.
We are all family at Findley's Friendly Appliances
with a great one -to -one relationship.
If you have a beef, we talk about it and we settle it. Right, Fred? Right.
We work together, not like Barclays, which had to shut down six weeks because
a strike. Right, Gus?
Right.
these friendly appliances take pride in our true team spirit.
Honey, before you finish... I just wish that the bonuses were larger this year.
Sweetheart, your associates have a wonderful surprise for you.
Ah, you bunch of guys. Honestly, I didn't expect anything. Your friendship
the only gift I want. Oh, no, Steve. This is a different kind of gift. This
something...
Priceless. Crying out loud, I told you, no gift. And what do you do? You turn
right around and buy me something priceless.
Pay attention, everybody, Walter.
Come stand in front of Gus and Charlie.
Tell them, Gus.
Tell them, Charlie.
Well, we all had a meeting a couple of days ago, and we decided to unionize.
I love him. I love him. You bunch are always up for some sort of joke.
Darling. No, Walter, this isn't a joke. They joined a union, right? Right.
Isn't that marvelous?
Okay, everybody.
Solidarity forever.
Wait a minute.
Come over, you people. Ten minutes ago, you were singing for he's a jolly good
fellow. We still think you're a jolly good fellow, Walter.
That's right. Only now we'll have a right to vote on it.
Walter,
isn't it wonderful?
This is the American dream.
Just think of it, Walter. That little tiny business that you started years ago
selling door to door from the back of your car has grown and grown until now,
Walter, you're big enough to be called management and they are labor.
Up the union!
Up the union! Up the union, right, Walter?
I'll go along with the up part.
And I thought we were family.
I told you you shouldn't tell them, Charlie.
I don't know what came over.
Walter! Walter, come back down!
Oh, it must be some sort of a joke.
We don't know about you, Walter, but we're going to have fun. Now, everybody,
around the piano. Come on.
A jingle bell.
Walter Findlay, it is Christmas Eve. You're supposed to be a merry, jolly
Claus, and look at the way you're acting.
You're a disgrace to the uniform.
He just went ahead and joined the union without even asking me.
Now, one word.
That's what really hurts, Mort.
They stabbed me in the back.
Walter, nobody stabbed you in the back.
Honey, all they did was join a union. That's their right, and I'm all for it.
Yes, Walter, at me.
And at all of them, huh?
Nine ets, Walter.
The vote was unanimous.
And they call that democracy in action, huh? Some democracy.
They didn't ask me to vote.
Of course not, Walter. You're management.
What a rotten thing to say.
In our store, we're all management.
That's been the spirit behind our store. Look, Walter Finley, I am not going to
let you make a fool of yourself.
Now, I expect you to go down and talk to those people. They are our guests,
Walter, and they're your employees.
And thanks.
Walter, if you don't go down and talk to them, I'm going to go down and talk to
them in your place. Go ahead, talk to them. Fine, I will.
Wait a minute.
What are you going to say?
Well, I'll start out by explaining to them why their bonuses are so small this
year, and then I'll show them the slides of our vacation on the French Riviera.
I'll go.
I guess I shouldn't have told Walter tonight.
The union is more important than Walter. We've got to be firm.
And anyway, who cares what he thinks?
I'm mad at you.
Tell them all. I'm mad at you.
Well, I am mad at them, Mort.
Look, everybody.
I just can't afford union problems right now.
The economy's strapped. My business is strapped. I'm strapped. The coffee I
served.
Why didn't I let her go home to her family?
Now, look.
If you were working for a big factory, well, then you wouldn't need a union.
But Finley's Appliances is just small potatoes.
I mean, you're not like employees. You're my close friends. I mean, look at
drinking out of my best Stubenware.
Stubenware? Wasn't I with you when he got these at the gas station?
You see how close you all are? You even go shopping together.
Look, Walter. What's all this? From now on, it's Mr. Finley.
And furthermore, our dinner date with you and your wife is off. It is not.
We made a date for sometime next year and we're going to keep it.
Look, gang, the union's going to come between us. It'll ruin the old team
spirit.
For instance, you know how it is when we're working late and we decide to all
pitch in and work sometimes till midnight to get the job done?
Yeah. Well, that'll all change now because the union won't allow it.
Oh, that'll ruin the team's spirit.
No, it won't, Waller. All you have to do is pay us time and a half.
Get the hell out of my house!
Go upstairs and get your coat and get out of my house!
You heard me!
Come on, get out of here!
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You can't leave like this.
Come on, where is the Christmas spirit?
One more step, Adnan, and I'll deck your halls.
He's saying, actually, it's all my fault. You know, he always gets like
when I let him eat cheese balls during the night.
I don't know, Mrs. Findlay. Maybe we'd better, you know? Yeah, Charlie knows
when he's not wanted. Oh, please. Oh, come on. Margaret, Harry, come on.
all our dear, dear friends.
Oh, Roger, please don't go.
My name is Max.
Oh, lovely name. You're married to Harriet, aren't you? Her name is Helen.
Well, you make a lovely couple no matter who you are.
I think we're standing under the mistletoe. That's right.
Now, Arthur, look, everybody, I swear to you, when Walter thinks this over,
he'll laugh about everything. Oh, Fred, look, Charlie, Gus, you haven't even
finished trimming the tree. Come on, now, Roger, play the piano, please.
why don't you and Edna go back upstairs?
Use the closet like last year.
Oh, come on. Enjoy yourselves. It's a party.
That's right, Florida. Pass around more hors d 'oeuvres. Come on. Let's sing
Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells.
Jingle Bells. Jingle. Come on, everybody. Join in. Oh, what fun it is
the one and louder Florida.
Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells. Jingle all the way. We'll have a party in the
kitchen. Good. Closer to the food.
Hey, what's going on here, Walter?
My employees are joining a union.
What, at Christmas time?
That's downright un -American.
Hey, Walter. Walter.
I'm really sorry.
I tried to tell him not to do it, but those hotheads wouldn't listen to me.
Good old Gus.
Well, I told him off.
How do you like that?
My own people joining a union.
Walter Fennel.
Walter, what are you doing in here? Your friends are out there. Tell him,
Arthur. Take your head out of the sand, Marty.
Walter's right.
That's the trouble with America today.
There's no rugged individualists anymore.
Everybody has to have an organization, a group, a union.
Nobody has the guts to go it alone.
I was saying that just last week at the American Medical Association.
That must have been a captive audience, sir.
500 sitting ducks listening to one quack.
That's all right, Marty. Go ahead and make fun. Let those poor people join the
union. All they'll know is strike, strike, strike. You know what I'd do if
were in your place, Walter? I would fire the lot of them. Oh, sure. On Christmas
Eve, just like Scrooge.
Scrooge was a grossly misunderstood man.
That's what I'm going to do. Oh, Walter. I'm going to fire the lot of them,
except for Gus.
I've always taken good care of them, and look how they repay me. You have always
taken good care of them? Walter, did you hear what you just said? You have
always taken good care of them.
You don't understand, Walter. It's like I've grown up with these men. We call
each other by our first names. I know their wives and their children.
When they've had financial difficulty, I've lent them money. Yes, I've always
taken good care of them, or just like they were my own family.
Oh, Walter, don't you see what you're acting like?
A benevolent despot.
Walter, your feelings are hurt because you think of yourself as the big daddy.
Oh, Walter.
Those are men and women out there.
They have their own futures to worry about. They're not your children.
Now, Walter.
Let your children go.
It's a good idea, Maude.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to let them go with two weeks' notice.
I just came down from the North Pole Hark. Do you not hear my reindeer on the
roof? What are you trying to do?
You think of yourself as a big daddy, Walter? I'm going to show you what a big
daddy really looks like.
Now, everybody, here are your bonuses.
All right. Merry Christmas.
Bonuses. Oh, Edna, here's something to put in your stocking besides Harry.
On this Christmas Eve, the happiest of all holidays, Big Daddy has a very
special gift for all his little kiddies.
He's giving you your freedom.
That's right.
Big Daddy has just fired everybody.
Except Gus.
Gee, Walter, I don't think we should fire them.
Oh, shut up, Gus!
I'm sorry, everybody, but Maude's right.
I guess I was acting like a big daddy.
I never quite realized the power I had in my hands to make everybody's
miserable.
Well, I guess if I can fire you because my feelings are hurt,
well, maybe you do need protection.
So go ahead!
Have your union!
I mean that, Walter.
Yes, I really mean that, Charlie. But that doesn't mean I'm going to like it.
Walter, Walter, I'm so proud of you. Come on, Christmas carols.
Everybody sing.
Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Oh, hi, Mrs. Finley.
It's me again.
Hello, you again.
I was on my way to Jersey and I happened to drop by the post office where I saw
a package for you from Tiffany's. And I just wanted to make sure you got it
okay.
It was marked fragile.
And the very same to you.
Maud was recorded on tape before a live audience.
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