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1
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:41,541
[classical Indian flute music playing]
2
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:03,146
[filter whirring]
3
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:08,234
[door creaks quietly]
4
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,459
[snoring]
5
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,180
[door creaks quietly]
6
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,163
[refrigerator rattles]
7
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,881
[ragged breaths]
8
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:16,594
[soft gasps]
9
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,226
[gulps]
10
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:39,868
["Locomotive Breath" by Jethro Tull]
11
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:50,044
♪ In the shuffling madness ♪
12
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:53,089
♪ Of the locomotive breath ♪
13
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:58,219
♪ Runs the all-time loser ♪
14
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,222
♪ Headlong to his death ♪
15
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:05,143
♪ Oh, he feels the piston scraping ♪
16
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:09,147
♪ Steam breaking on his brow ♪
17
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:12,984
♪ Old Charlie stole the handle ♪
18
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:18,573
♪ And the train, it won't stop going
No way to slow down ♪
19
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:22,243
♪ Oh-oh! ♪
20
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,166
♪ He sees his children jumping off ♪
21
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,502
♪ At stations one by one ♪
22
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:36,507
♪ His woman and his best friend ♪
23
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,510
♪ In bed and having fun ♪
24
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:43,431
♪ Oh, he's crawling down the corridor ♪
25
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,935
♪ On his hands and knees ♪
26
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,563
♪ Old Charlie stole the handle ♪
27
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,317
♪ And the train, it won't stop going ♪
28
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,527
♪ No way to slow down ♪
29
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,740
♪ Yeah-eah! ♪
30
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,121
♪ Ow! ♪
31
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,165
[microphone feedback]
32
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,460
[man] Testing, testing. Mic testing.
33
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:16,464
Check, one, two, one, two. Testing.
34
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:20,718
Topping the preliminary round
with 29 out of 30...
35
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:26,933
Bangalore Uni A,
represented by Naman Bala...
36
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,103
Ramu Iyengar...
37
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,647
Ilash Ismail...
38
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,565
-Where's Ilash?
-[knocking]
39
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,652
-[announcer] ...and Ajay Iyer.
-Ajay.
40
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,991
Will the team captain
please come up for the draw of lots?
41
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,410
[all mutter] B.U.B.U.
42
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,203
[announcer] Team captain?
43
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,372
[announcer] Hmm...
44
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:53,793
Bangalore Uni A team has finally arrived.
45
00:04:54,919 --> 00:05:00,466
In the words of Shakespeare, better three
hours too soon than a minute too late.
46
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:04,053
You will have to sit in row six.
47
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:08,850
We should have come for the draft lots.
Row six is the worst strategically.
48
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,187
Who cares where we sit?
We'll win anyway.
49
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,399
We have worse problems.
Ilash is in Hyderabad.
50
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,942
[girl] Good luck, Naman!
51
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,487
There's your pet volcano, Stromboli.
52
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,906
Go rape your cow, Ra-moo.
53
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,535
Come on, ra. Give her Etna a chance.
54
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,788
Yeah, cover the face, fire the base.
55
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,082
[announcer] Are all the teams complete?
56
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:42,300
I have been preparing.
I'll be very helpful, I promise.
57
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:45,678
Just keep your mouth shut
and we'll win, okay?
58
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,973
-[applause]
-[announcer] Bangalore Uni B.
59
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,808
Back in the 18th century,
60
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:56,230
Eton College had a grammar book
which listed a set of words from Latin
61
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:59,567
which all meant "of little or no value."
62
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:04,155
As a joke, somebody put all four of these
together and created a new word.
63
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:10,578
The first recorded use
is by William Shenstone in 1741.
64
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,163
What is the word?
65
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,833
Looks like our juniors
have Calcutta ambitions.
66
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:20,588
Why go all the way to Calcutta when
the Black Hole of Bangalore is right here?
67
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:22,173
Time is running out!
68
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:26,594
The answer is
floccinaucinihilipilification.
69
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,263
[announcer] Correct answer.
70
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,891
Bangalore B are the leaders now.
71
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:37,814
And now for the ultimate question
to decide the winner.
72
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:44,362
Gerald Rusgrove and Charles
founded a publishing house in 1908.
73
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:47,990
Today they dominate a particular genre.
74
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:53,162
The company is named after
their famous surname. Name the company.
75
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,332
-Simon & Schuster?
-Hodder & Stoughton?
76
00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:59,502
They don't dominate any particular genre.
77
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:06,342
Bangalore University A,
do we have an answer?
78
00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:07,552
[indistinct whisper]
79
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,347
Is it Mills & Boon? Romance?
80
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,225
[announcer] It is...
81
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,771
indeed!
82
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,898
[cheering]
83
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:26,821
[announcer] Bangalore Uni A
are the winners of this quiz contest,
84
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:32,285
and will represent us at the
All India Quiz Competition in Calcutta.
85
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,162
-[applause]
-Thank you.
86
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,796
-Naman.
-We won book coupons worth 750 rupees.
87
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,256
That's your share.
88
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:49,552
No, that's not necessary. It was my honor
to be in the quiz with you.
89
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,475
I insist. After all--
90
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:59,520
Listen, Ash, we have 500 worth of
book coupons between the three of us.
91
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,899
We'll sell it to you
at the usual discount. 300?
92
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,318
Done. But on one condition.
93
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,653
I get to come with you guys
wherever you are drinking tonight.
94
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,448
Forget it. We'll find somebody else.
95
00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,949
No, no, no, no, no.
96
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,077
I always keep cash handy for your coupons.
97
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:27,715
Bye.
98
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,094
[motorbike horn]
99
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:37,141
Sure you don't want a lift to the dhaba?
100
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,477
-Ajay isn't dead.
-Yet.
101
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,445
Hey, you, junior!
102
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,371
What's your name?
103
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:02,792
-Randeep.
-Randy!
104
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,460
[pop music plays]
105
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,802
I, uh... I don't really drink.
106
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,179
Nonsense. Everybody drinks.
107
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,722
[Naman] It's like fucking.
108
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,891
Once your dick is inside the hole,
109
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:22,228
it goes all the way up to the cervix,
prompting the inevitable--
110
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,646
Cervix with a smile.
111
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:29,777
[all] Chairs!
112
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:36,033
-Bangalore University, bottoms up.
-B.U.B.U.
113
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,244
Go!
114
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:46,794
-Naman seven secs, Ajay nine secs.
-And Randy, no sex.
115
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,089
-Bravo.
-Garçon.
116
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,386
[man murmurs indistinctly]
117
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,390
What ra, dei?
That would have bought an extra pitcher.
118
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,976
Brahmans must be magnanimous
to the servant classes
119
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:04,729
-to preserve the natural order of things.
-[Ajay] Correct.
120
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,273
If everybody gets degrees,
who will clean our toilets?
121
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:10,610
In our village, even if an untouchable's
shadow touches my grandfather,
122
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,194
he has to have a bath.
123
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:14,780
The boy speaks.
124
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,288
Trichinopolies.
As smoked by Sherlock Holmes.
125
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,918
OK, guys, I have to leave.
My father will be waiting.
126
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:31,964
Ever wondered why the back
of Ramu's neck is black?
127
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:36,552
When Ramu was born, his father
rubbed his dick on the back of his neck.
128
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,013
-[Ramu mutters]
-[boys laugh]
129
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:49,023
Randy. If you continue to be
this correct blend of slavish deference
130
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:53,194
and obsequiousness to God, i.e. me,
131
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,238
who knows,
someday you could be our quiz team fourth.
132
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:03,371
-But I'm in Tina's team--
-Tina, Beena? Who cares? All cunts.
133
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:07,124
Stay second all your life, by all means.
134
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:08,959
It's your choice.
135
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:12,880
Well?
136
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,141
[coughs]
137
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,438
-He's done a George.
-Horses for courses.
138
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,523
Neigh!
139
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,613
You won't be allowed into Valhalla
if you don't know the argot.
140
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,450
I'll give you a clue. Painter.
141
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,454
John Stubbs. British painter
best known for his paintings of horses.
142
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:49,667
So when you "do a George,"
you stub out a cigar.
143
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:54,046
May the horse be with you.
144
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:06,767
A beaker full of the warm south
for the lad here.
145
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,145
-[Randy retches]
-[Naman and Ajay urinating]
146
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,939
But you're not allowed
to vomit on the tree.
147
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:20,531
But if you must, precision is key,
oh dilated pupil.
148
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:22,450
[man reads question]
149
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,834
[chanting Sanskrit mantras]
150
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:09,580
[Naman's father] As it says in
the holy Gita, "tranquility, restraint,
151
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:15,961
austerity, purity,
forgiveness, uprightness...
152
00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:20,925
knowledge, wisdom and faith in God
153
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,135
are the duties of the Brahmans...
154
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,472
born of our innate nature."
155
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,809
[Naman's father chants]
156
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,396
[Naman joins in]
157
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:42,613
[chanting]
158
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,249
[bell jingling]
159
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,552
Naman.
160
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,735
[applause]
161
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,995
["Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)"]
162
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,474
I feel like a new hermaphrodite again.
163
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:58,063
♪ Well, show me the way
to the next whiskey bar ♪
164
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,900
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
165
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,819
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
166
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:09,408
♪ Show me the way
to the next whiskey bar ♪
167
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:12,286
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
168
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:15,164
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
169
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:20,419
♪ For if we don't find
the next whiskey bar ♪
170
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,088
♪ I tell you we must die ♪
171
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,883
♪ I tell you we must die ♪
172
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:31,263
♪ I tell you, I tell you,
I tell you we must die ♪
173
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,224
[TV plays quietly]
174
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,272
[applause on TV]
175
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,567
[man] Welcome back
to Cos Theta Quiz Contest.
176
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,987
I am Brian D'Costa,
and my next question is...
177
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,990
[Brian reads question]
178
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,211
I'm ready to marry her for a week.
179
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,763
Aureolae, my friend.
180
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,891
God is in the aureolae.
181
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,602
[car horn]
182
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,857
♪ I'm Henry VIII, I am ♪
183
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,443
♪ Henry VIII, I am, I am ♪
184
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,196
♪ I got married to the widow next door ♪
185
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,448
♪ And she's been married
seven times before ♪
186
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,659
-[all] Henry!
-Waste fuckers.
187
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:36,203
What ra cripple? Bull broke your leg?
188
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,580
[laughter]
189
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:39,665
Hey!
190
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,667
-Show me that.
-I'm having her tonight.
191
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,919
Why don't we all go and look at it
at my place?
192
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,338
No, no, no, no. No. No.
193
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,965
We have to prepare for tomorrow's quiz.
194
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,097
-[Naman] Henry.
-A trick.
195
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,767
When you've finished,
let go of your dick when you cum.
196
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:06,525
Cover your face, then you watch your dick.
Like an electric meter, it will flick.
197
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:09,194
[he makes a clicking sound]
198
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,030
[chuckles]
199
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:14,533
What ra, Naman? We all could have
magazined at Henry's house.
200
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,619
-[Naman] His sofa is full of cum.
-[giggling]
201
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,250
Oh, no.
202
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:26,712
-["Infatuation" by Rod Stewart plays]
-♪ Oh, no, not again ♪
203
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:31,550
♪ It hurts so good
I don't understand ♪
204
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,594
♪ Infatuation ♪
205
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,432
♪ Infatuation ♪
206
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,561
-♪ Infatuation ♪
-[no audible dialogue]
207
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,648
♪ Infatuation ♪
208
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,820
-[music stops]
-♪ Infatuation ♪
209
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:55,282
-♪ Infatuation ♪
-Chee chee, Ramu.
210
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:59,620
-[Ajay] Nice arse.
-You will not, none of you,
211
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:03,165
refer to your future sister-in-law
in a sexual manner ever again.
212
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,000
Ramu! Understood?
213
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,837
[snickering]
214
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,843
[snoring]
215
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,522
[funky music]
216
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,794
[woman moans]
217
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,922
[knocking on door]
218
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,175
[Naman's mother] Naman?
219
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,775
[fan speeds up]
220
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,864
[screams]
221
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,866
[screams continue]
222
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,743
[bell tolls]
223
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:06,121
You must be wondering what The Merchant
of Venice has to do with Hamlet.
224
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:10,375
You see, this Polonius is a dirty fellow.
225
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,085
Very shallow.
226
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:16,006
What he doesn't know is that
is if he spits into the air... pooo!
227
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,847
Hey, maths motherfucker.
228
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,352
To what do we owe this dubious honor?
229
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:32,731
I was in the vicinity, so I thought
I'd come see if you're around.
230
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:38,028
Now that you have drunk your ocular fill,
wench, a swift departure mayhaps.
231
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,822
Miles to go? Promises to keep?
232
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,700
-[Ash] But I...
-So, handicap.
233
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:47,496
-[Ash] Ilash.
-Who came second in the quiz?
234
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,456
-The junior team.
-Oh...
235
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,251
Let me tell you what happened
to my junior.
236
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:57,005
I was coming back from Hyderabad
on a train, AC first class, of course,
237
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,425
and there she was, on the lower berth.
238
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,929
It was lights out,
so I put my reading lights on
239
00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:09,434
and I looked down through the curtains
and she is staring straight back at me.
240
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:14,398
So I pull back, I'm reading my book.
241
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:16,984
She climbs up...
242
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:22,364
and she's... all over me, OK?
243
00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:26,910
She's rubbing.
244
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:31,206
She's rubbing herself.
245
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:34,543
[up-tempo dance music plays]
246
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,645
Where has that fellow gone?
247
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,690
I'm sure he's taken
our ticket money and run.
248
00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:58,692
[man] Have faith, grasshopper.
249
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:00,152
There he is.
250
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:14,750
Thank you, uncle.
251
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,752
Your seats are right next to mine.
252
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:22,090
I feel violated.
253
00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:26,511
Isn't there a law against visual rape?
254
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,598
In that case, we would all be doing
ten to 20.
255
00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:36,688
-[up-tempo music playing]
-[women gasping]
256
00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:58,376
Ramu.
257
00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:04,132
Appa.
258
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,425
Get in.
259
00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:19,064
You have to do everything possible
to endear us of Ramu's dad, don't you?
260
00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:32,035
[slow music plays]
261
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:40,710
"My love is like a red, red rose
that is newly sprung in June.
262
00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:44,381
My love is like a melody
that is sweetly played in tune."
263
00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:46,633
To the chariot!
264
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,385
[engine starts]
265
00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:53,598
-What am I supposed to do?
-Exist.
266
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:01,982
[indistinct chatter]
267
00:24:34,764 --> 00:24:37,726
-[Ajay] D'Souza, she's not a Brahman.
-[Naman] So?
268
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,729
-[Ajay] She's not even a Hindu.
-So?
269
00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,314
She's a Christian, ra.
270
00:24:43,231 --> 00:24:46,526
In Brahman tradition, one would conjoin
with the servant classes
271
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:49,487
in order to transfer our sins to them,
because they are fucked anyway.
272
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:51,156
[Ajay] Justification.
273
00:24:52,032 --> 00:24:55,452
You know how the Jesuits forcibly
converted most of us to Christianity?
274
00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:58,705
-Her grandparents are probably Brahman.
-Justification.
275
00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:01,791
[Naman] The scriptures say
that the role of a Brahman
276
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:04,044
is to uplift the downtrodden classes.
277
00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:06,379
Miss D'Souza will be my project.
278
00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:08,173
Infatuation.
279
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,802
[mid-tempo music plays on radio]
280
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:20,268
Dear Rita, shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?
281
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:22,312
But then I'm not the Bard.
282
00:25:22,395 --> 00:25:26,524
Interestingly, did you know
that Colonel Gaddafi of Libya
283
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:29,402
claimed that William Shakespeare
was actually a Muslim Libyan
284
00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:31,112
named Wali Miya Sheikh Zubair.
285
00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:37,953
There is also loose talk that a certain
Sheshappa Iyer, a Brahman from Mysore,
286
00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:40,413
went to England and authored the plays.
287
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:44,501
But enough of Avon.
288
00:25:44,584 --> 00:25:50,090
The Butler, in his immortal piece of poesy
titled, rather appropriately,
289
00:25:50,173 --> 00:25:52,425
A Drinking Song, he quoth...
290
00:25:55,178 --> 00:25:56,930
Thank you, Father.
291
00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:05,272
Thank you, Mother.
292
00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:08,233
[Brian reads question]
293
00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:17,450
[Naman] D'Souza, P... D'Souza, P...
294
00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:19,494
♪ Hello, operator ♪
295
00:26:19,577 --> 00:26:23,164
♪ You know that I've been waiting
on this call, da, da, da ♪
296
00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:25,750
-♪ I said hey, operator... ♪
-[Naman] Bingo!
297
00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:30,338
♪ You make me nervous
cos the line's engaged ♪
298
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:33,383
♪ I can't believe we let it
get to this stage ♪
299
00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:35,552
-♪ Sitting here-- ♪
-Shh! Shh! Shh!
300
00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:37,721
Hello. Hi, Rita.
301
00:26:37,804 --> 00:26:39,889
[man] Rita, Gita or Sita...
302
00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:43,935
You boys are just going to...
beat-a your meat-a.
303
00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:47,397
[heroic music]
304
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,650
[people chanting]
Ronnie! Ronnie! Ronnie! Ronnie!
305
00:26:54,529 --> 00:26:56,781
Devastating wit. I'm impressed.
306
00:26:56,865 --> 00:27:01,202
Smart boy. But while you guys were busy
polishing your pathetic one-liners,
307
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:05,123
-we just won the cricket championship.
-Let joy be unconfined.
308
00:27:05,206 --> 00:27:07,584
Tell me one physical activity
that you guys can do better than us.
309
00:27:07,667 --> 00:27:10,086
-Consume alcohol.
-In industrial quantities.
310
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,588
[laughter]
311
00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:13,631
-Done. It's a challenge.
-A royal challenge?
312
00:27:14,924 --> 00:27:16,968
Tomorrow at home, our victory party.
313
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:20,472
Get yourselves to Sadashivnagar
and ask anyone for Palace Tower.
314
00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:23,433
-Then see whose is bigger.
-We don't go for half measures.
315
00:27:23,516 --> 00:27:26,478
Ronnie, I'm hungry.
316
00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:28,104
Burger?
317
00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:38,073
-I can't believe we get the brains--
-And they get the girls.
318
00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:41,743
That too, Coco-panties herself.
319
00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:44,829
Many a boat has sailed up
that coconut lagoon.
320
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:47,791
[euphoric music]
321
00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:04,391
-[laughter]
-[guitar music playing]
322
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:06,935
Rich bastard.
323
00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:13,149
Ramu, "a man of wealth has many enemies,
324
00:28:13,233 --> 00:28:15,860
while a man of knowledge
has many friends."
325
00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:30,125
[Ronnie] Oh-ho-ho-ho!
326
00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:34,796
So kind of you all to drag yourselves away
from your busy schedules.
327
00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:36,256
Must have been a drag.
328
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:39,092
Ever used one of these babies before?
329
00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:42,470
-You have overcompensation issues.
-So you don't know how to use it?
330
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:44,431
Just pose.
331
00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:45,974
Girls...
332
00:28:51,312 --> 00:28:54,774
So what do you think of the old pad?
Pretty impressive, huh?
333
00:28:55,692 --> 00:28:58,903
-Very Las Vegas.
-Dad's favorite city. We go every year.
334
00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:01,573
And where do you go for your hols,
big boy?
335
00:29:02,949 --> 00:29:06,077
I must inform you that we have
an excellent bovine maintenance--
336
00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:09,873
A cow farm? Ramu goes to a cow farm!
337
00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:12,584
I also heard you rape your cows.
338
00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:14,502
That's our joke.
339
00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:17,922
[Ronnie] Here, have a drink.
Better than your normal swill, I'm sure.
340
00:29:19,340 --> 00:29:21,843
-B.U.B.U.
-What else?
341
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:28,892
Do you do everything so fast?
342
00:29:28,975 --> 00:29:31,227
He wouldn't know, baby.
He's never done it.
343
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:34,355
Those who can't drink
should not throw stones.
344
00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:37,066
OK, bugger, put your mouth
where the bottle is.
345
00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:42,947
Praemonitus, praemunitus.
346
00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:44,657
-Huh?
-Forewarned is forearmed.
347
00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:48,453
Treatises of Fistula, circa 1425,
J. Arderne.
348
00:29:48,536 --> 00:29:52,207
-Also Don Quixote's Cervantes--
-Just shut up and drink, quiz fucks.
349
00:29:52,290 --> 00:29:54,626
[dance music playing]
350
00:30:06,387 --> 00:30:07,722
Drinks, I say!
351
00:30:15,688 --> 00:30:17,690
[record scratching]
352
00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:21,236
[music stops]
353
00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:23,571
I think my father is calling me.
354
00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:26,115
[snores]
355
00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:36,626
[Ajay] Look what I found.
356
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:39,796
Naman takes the bottle...
357
00:30:40,964 --> 00:30:43,466
uncorks it...
358
00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:47,053
and sniffs it deeply.
359
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:53,184
A deep, rich and complex nose.
360
00:30:53,726 --> 00:30:55,728
[sniffs]
361
00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:57,814
-Dry orange peel.
-Mmm.
362
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,525
Espresso.
363
00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:04,863
And incandescent notes of Gruyère
and smoked Parma ham.
364
00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:06,823
But you're vegetarian.
365
00:31:12,328 --> 00:31:14,998
I'm married. So...
366
00:31:16,916 --> 00:31:20,128
-You flick, I'll click.
-OK!
367
00:31:27,343 --> 00:31:28,720
I can't do it.
368
00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:34,726
-It's the fault of our caste.
-[burps]
369
00:31:34,809 --> 00:31:36,561
Why are we Brahmans so conservative?
370
00:31:37,562 --> 00:31:41,316
Oh, for a bit of Labour
in these Tory times!
371
00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:44,402
Such a waste!
372
00:31:48,656 --> 00:31:53,328
There is, however,
another course of action.
373
00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:02,921
-[laughter]
-[camera clicking]
374
00:32:03,838 --> 00:32:05,131
[bell tolls]
375
00:32:09,010 --> 00:32:09,969
So!
376
00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:13,723
-Back again from Hyderabad?
-On a plane.
377
00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:16,267
Business class, of course.
378
00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:19,938
There was this, uh... mwah!
...girl next to me.
379
00:32:20,021 --> 00:32:23,524
-So you started feeling her up.
-Why didn't you fuck?
380
00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:26,110
Who said I didn't?
381
00:32:26,861 --> 00:32:28,488
There was this toilet.
382
00:32:28,571 --> 00:32:31,407
-And you joined the mile-high club.
-Coffee, tea or me?
383
00:32:31,491 --> 00:32:34,452
The uninhibited memoirs
of two airline stewardesses.
384
00:32:34,535 --> 00:32:36,079
-Rachel Jones.
-Trudy Baker.
385
00:32:36,162 --> 00:32:40,291
No, no, I used a Pleasure Sutra condom.
386
00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:44,337
-God promise.
-[school bell rings]
387
00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:53,179
Wow, you guys are actually
attending class.
388
00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:57,934
-It's Wednesday.
-Coco-panties day.
389
00:32:58,017 --> 00:33:00,645
What is the color of the color TV?
390
00:33:00,728 --> 00:33:03,773
[humming indistinctly]
391
00:33:03,856 --> 00:33:06,234
[all harmonizing]
392
00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:11,447
[old-timey song plays]
393
00:33:17,912 --> 00:33:19,205
[indistinct chatter]
394
00:33:33,761 --> 00:33:35,763
I say white.
395
00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,307
I'm a dirty fellow, so I would say yellow.
396
00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:41,436
-Pink. Think pink.
-Red.
397
00:33:50,528 --> 00:33:54,490
Class. Today, that sonnet without equal.
The esteemed...
398
00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:57,535
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
399
00:33:57,618 --> 00:34:01,247
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
400
00:34:01,330 --> 00:34:04,625
Rough winds do shake
the darling buds of May,
401
00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:08,379
and summer's lease
hath all too short a date."
402
00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:12,550
And your lease will also expire shortly
if you don't stop that infernal giggling.
403
00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:17,597
In that case, my darling buds of May,
kindly pollinate away.
404
00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:22,602
This is a first.
Ronnie wanting to contribute to a class.
405
00:34:22,685 --> 00:34:25,021
-Speak!
-Or forever hold your piss.
406
00:34:25,104 --> 00:34:27,148
Quiz team, out now.
407
00:34:27,231 --> 00:34:32,653
Sir, by "pollinate away,"
are you asking the girls to eff off?
408
00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:34,489
Your private tuitions are helping.
409
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,451
"Exit stage right, pursued by bear."
410
00:34:38,534 --> 00:34:40,953
[girl] Looks like the cricket team
comes in a package deal.
411
00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:43,122
Good things come in big packages.
412
00:34:43,206 --> 00:34:44,082
[laughter]
413
00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:47,460
You can touch my silly point
with your fine leg any time.
414
00:34:51,422 --> 00:34:54,550
Your middle stump is very long.
415
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:57,345
The stitches on your balls
seem quite nice.
416
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:04,477
I'm sure you had
something to do with this. Thanks.
417
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,480
Oh, and uh, enjoy your pocket billiards.
418
00:35:17,031 --> 00:35:18,699
Fucking lounge lizards.
419
00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:21,744
[up-tempo drums]
420
00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:24,997
[men chanting]
♪ Oh, you asshole ♪
421
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:28,668
♪ Completely loathsome pain in the bum ♪
422
00:35:28,751 --> 00:35:32,255
[indistinct chanting]
423
00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:35,716
♪ Brahman Naman
Fuck you up ♪
424
00:35:37,176 --> 00:35:40,221
Enough is enough. Let's call Henry.
425
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,890
[car horn]
426
00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:46,644
[honking]
427
00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,021
Coming, coming!
428
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:51,941
Coming.
429
00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:55,069
"Coming, coming."
430
00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:57,530
Save some cum for the bitches! [laughs]
431
00:35:57,613 --> 00:36:00,074
A man and his cum are soon parted.
432
00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:04,203
Something to get us in the mood.
433
00:36:04,287 --> 00:36:06,038
What mood?
434
00:36:06,122 --> 00:36:10,168
All you need is a hooker and a hard-on.
435
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:11,627
[Henry laughs]
436
00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:14,213
["Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)"]
437
00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:20,303
♪ Well, show me the way
to the next little girl ♪
438
00:36:20,386 --> 00:36:23,055
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
439
00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:25,600
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
440
00:36:25,683 --> 00:36:30,813
♪ Just show me the way
to the next little girl... ♪
441
00:36:33,816 --> 00:36:36,235
I always like a starter
before the main course.
442
00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:38,279
Best way to start innings.
443
00:36:40,948 --> 00:36:45,119
50 rupees lollipop.
75 rupees mouthwash. 100 rupees full.
444
00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,079
Lollipop. Get inside.
445
00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:54,420
No, no, no, stay!
446
00:36:54,503 --> 00:36:57,924
When stadium is full,
batsman always performs better. Come on.
447
00:37:02,637 --> 00:37:03,471
[unzips pants]
448
00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:09,101
[Henry chuckles]
449
00:37:25,826 --> 00:37:27,787
[Henry whimpers]
450
00:37:27,870 --> 00:37:30,206
[yells]
451
00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:33,793
Give me 75 rupees, mouthwash.
452
00:37:34,627 --> 00:37:36,379
Fifty-one secs!
453
00:37:54,355 --> 00:37:56,983
Now, your chance.
454
00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:00,152
[rock music plays nearby]
455
00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:05,157
-This is it, boys.
-Uh, Henry...
456
00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:08,244
Hey! You Brahman boys
have got the guts or no?
457
00:38:08,327 --> 00:38:10,079
Maybe for safety's sake, just a lollipop.
458
00:38:10,162 --> 00:38:12,373
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome
and all that.
459
00:38:12,456 --> 00:38:14,083
[groans]
460
00:38:14,166 --> 00:38:17,712
Your money, your choice. Come.
461
00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:22,883
[woman moaning]
462
00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:30,933
Uh...
463
00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:37,356
My friends, uh, they want blowjobs,
mouthwash, lollipop.
464
00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:42,820
What friends? Huh?
465
00:38:50,745 --> 00:38:52,580
Uh... Blowjob?
466
00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:02,173
[bleating]
467
00:39:06,886 --> 00:39:08,429
[cow moos]
468
00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:14,393
[man shouts indistinctly]
469
00:39:37,124 --> 00:39:39,168
Did you know
that this area was gerrymandered?
470
00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:40,503
Gerry who?
471
00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:43,589
Named after Massachusetts governor
Elbridge Gerry,
472
00:39:43,672 --> 00:39:45,299
who manipulated his electoral district
473
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:47,343
so that the people who voted for him
the last time
474
00:39:47,426 --> 00:39:49,303
voted in a block for him the next time.
475
00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:51,472
And cut away the people
who did not vote for him,
476
00:39:51,555 --> 00:39:54,558
-and put them into another district.
-Correct.
477
00:39:55,059 --> 00:40:00,398
They did the same thing here to prevent
the Muslim candidate from winning again,
478
00:40:00,481 --> 00:40:03,609
adding a large Hindu majority block
to dilute the vote.
479
00:40:04,443 --> 00:40:05,945
What?
480
00:40:06,028 --> 00:40:09,365
Right now we could have been
in between the thighs of whores,
481
00:40:09,448 --> 00:40:11,158
losing our virginities.
482
00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:13,619
And here we are trading electoral trivia.
483
00:40:16,914 --> 00:40:18,582
That at all we have, Ajay.
484
00:40:20,709 --> 00:40:22,169
Trivia.
485
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:25,256
Correct.
486
00:40:28,801 --> 00:40:33,347
[man] Rubber On. Set up in the year 1972,
487
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:38,185
with a dogged determination
to achieve world-class standards,
488
00:40:38,269 --> 00:40:43,190
Rubber On is India's finest
rubberized coil mattress.
489
00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:46,360
With technology imported from Austria,
490
00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:50,156
a dedicated workforce of more than 70,
491
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:55,703
Rubber On strives to be the mattress
of copulation to the nation's population.
492
00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:59,915
A mattress that always ensures
a healthy hump,
493
00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:05,254
optimizing orgasm frequency
and facilitating fluid flow.
494
00:41:05,337 --> 00:41:08,174
As is said by the holy Rita,
495
00:41:08,257 --> 00:41:13,554
a bed with the best booby bounce
results in deeper penetration.
496
00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:17,808
Rubbing, rubbing, rubbing.
497
00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:20,895
Who do you think I built up
the business for?
498
00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:26,775
After my retirement,
Rubber On will be only for you.
499
00:41:26,859 --> 00:41:28,986
Coffee? Buttermilk?
500
00:41:29,069 --> 00:41:32,072
-Half a cup for me.
-Nothing for me, Ma.
501
00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:36,952
When I was your age, I used to wake up
at 4 a.m., milk the cows,
502
00:41:37,036 --> 00:41:41,916
wake up my brothers, make myself coffee,
have a bath,
503
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:45,503
then go all the way to the Christian house
to give their children maths tuition.
504
00:41:45,586 --> 00:41:48,797
-Then I would--
-Go to grandfather's accountancy firm.
505
00:41:48,881 --> 00:41:50,382
Tell me something new, Appa.
506
00:41:50,466 --> 00:41:53,677
Hard work was our only ethic.
507
00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:56,138
And here you are drunk every night.
508
00:41:56,222 --> 00:41:58,474
You worked so hard
so that I wouldn't have to, Appa.
509
00:41:58,557 --> 00:42:00,935
Plus I'm paying for my drinks
with my own quizzing money.
510
00:42:01,018 --> 00:42:03,729
Quizzing? What will happen after college?
511
00:42:03,812 --> 00:42:07,691
Will your quizzing feed you
for the rest of your life?
512
00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:11,862
To keep up with the times,
I'm importing new machinery from Austria.
513
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,573
The unique feature
of this main sheeting plant
514
00:42:14,657 --> 00:42:18,494
is that it facilitates
vertical fiber orientation.
515
00:42:18,577 --> 00:42:23,916
A process that results in the deeper
penetration of the latex into the sheet,
516
00:42:23,999 --> 00:42:26,377
making it very classic.
517
00:42:26,460 --> 00:42:30,464
This provides the mattress
with a uniform density throughout
518
00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:33,175
and an extra cushioning effect.
519
00:42:33,259 --> 00:42:37,012
There you have a mattress
that is healthy for your back.
520
00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:41,225
What? Time for another quiz?
521
00:42:41,308 --> 00:42:42,768
Calcutta, Appa.
522
00:42:42,851 --> 00:42:45,145
[Brian reads question]
523
00:42:56,156 --> 00:42:57,700
[Ash] Naman!
524
00:43:00,035 --> 00:43:02,246
-Naman.
-[Naman] What?
525
00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:06,750
I just came to wish you good luck.
And goodbye.
526
00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:11,922
Well, you have.
Therefore, dasvidanya, arrivederci.
527
00:43:13,048 --> 00:43:15,175
Is there anything you need
for the journey?
528
00:43:15,259 --> 00:43:16,510
No.
529
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:20,598
Actually, yes. Come with me.
530
00:43:22,224 --> 00:43:23,392
Hello, Ash.
531
00:43:32,318 --> 00:43:35,487
Ask for Rita.
It's easy if it's a girl's voice.
532
00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:41,160
Hello. May I speak to Rita, please?
533
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:45,664
[funky music]
534
00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:47,916
[phone rings]
535
00:43:50,961 --> 00:43:53,088
[ringing continues]
536
00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:02,681
-Hello?
-[Naman] Hello?
537
00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:04,642
Hi, Rita.
538
00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:11,148
-Who's this?
-This is an admirer.
539
00:44:11,231 --> 00:44:12,483
Admirer?
540
00:44:13,692 --> 00:44:15,361
Uh, I sent you that letter.
541
00:44:15,444 --> 00:44:17,279
What letter?
542
00:44:17,363 --> 00:44:20,741
-The one with the perfume.
-[line distorts]
543
00:44:23,118 --> 00:44:24,370
Hello?
544
00:44:24,453 --> 00:44:25,788
Hello?
545
00:44:26,538 --> 00:44:28,791
-Hello?
-Hello? Rita?
546
00:44:28,874 --> 00:44:31,669
-Hello? Are you in a station?
-[trains whistling]
547
00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:33,337
Yes.
548
00:44:34,463 --> 00:44:37,508
Are you coming... or going?
549
00:44:38,133 --> 00:44:40,260
I... I don't know.
550
00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,096
[laughs]
551
00:44:43,722 --> 00:44:47,935
Hello? Did you know you're the most
beautiful person on this Earth?
552
00:44:49,144 --> 00:44:50,354
Hello?
553
00:44:50,437 --> 00:44:52,356
Rita, hello? I love you.
554
00:44:54,691 --> 00:44:56,652
[indistinct shout]
555
00:45:02,741 --> 00:45:04,368
-Come on.
-[train whistles]
556
00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:15,337
You made it.
I was going to pull the chain.
557
00:45:15,421 --> 00:45:17,297
What happened to Ramu?
558
00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:20,092
He didn't ask his father for permission.
559
00:45:20,175 --> 00:45:21,927
There goes the fourth member for the quiz.
560
00:45:22,010 --> 00:45:25,681
[man] I may be old, but I'm not dead yet.
561
00:45:25,764 --> 00:45:27,891
According to the rules
of the championship,
562
00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:30,894
your chaperone is allowed
to step into the breach.
563
00:45:31,687 --> 00:45:33,272
[Naman] That's all good, then.
564
00:45:33,355 --> 00:45:36,233
Sir, can we play some music?
565
00:45:36,316 --> 00:45:39,611
-What? Can you repeat the question?
-Can we play some music?
566
00:45:39,695 --> 00:45:43,615
If music be the food of love, play on.
567
00:45:43,699 --> 00:45:46,410
[funky rock music]
568
00:45:55,043 --> 00:45:56,295
[snoring]
569
00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:01,175
[knocking on door]
570
00:46:03,093 --> 00:46:04,845
[switching music off]
571
00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:11,143
What is this noise? The other people
have complained, you know.
572
00:46:11,226 --> 00:46:14,480
Sir, we are young.
Can enjoy only once.
573
00:46:14,563 --> 00:46:17,232
-Maintain decency.
-Definitely, sir.
574
00:46:25,657 --> 00:46:27,326
[music resumes]
575
00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:46,970
[gargles]
576
00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:53,060
[Naman] Padma R, F-18. Naina K, F-18.
577
00:46:53,143 --> 00:46:56,605
These F-18s can bomb my airbase anytime!
578
00:46:56,688 --> 00:46:59,066
[Ajay] Rani P, F-17.
579
00:46:59,149 --> 00:47:01,902
[Randy] Augusta D, F-58.
580
00:47:03,779 --> 00:47:08,825
Unfortunately, here, if I'm not very much
mistaken, are the exhibits themselves.
581
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:11,870
[Randy] These look one drop kick away
from an arranged marriage.
582
00:47:22,548 --> 00:47:25,634
Sir, why does Madras exist, as a concept?
583
00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:30,847
You know, I have a deathly relationship
with Madras.
584
00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:34,101
The first time I passed through the city,
the chief minister died.
585
00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:35,936
The second time, the governor died.
586
00:47:36,019 --> 00:47:39,189
This time, I hope
the cursed minorities die.
587
00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:42,192
[Naman] Sir, surely that's a bit bigoted.
588
00:47:42,276 --> 00:47:43,652
Bigoted, shigoted.
589
00:47:43,735 --> 00:47:47,155
We Brahmans are the biggest
bigots and racists on this planet.
590
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:51,201
Why be ashamed of it?
Revel in your supremacy, I say.
591
00:47:51,285 --> 00:47:53,203
Quarter kilo.
592
00:47:56,707 --> 00:47:58,667
-Naman?
-Sir?
593
00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:01,753
-Dig out that gin bottle.
-Huh?
594
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:04,631
I may be old, but I'm not blind. Yet.
595
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:07,676
An old man is allowed
to enjoy his drink, too.
596
00:48:07,759 --> 00:48:13,640
Cherry in the gin is cherry on the cake.
597
00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:15,350
[laughs]
598
00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,396
Are all of you in your cups?
599
00:48:19,479 --> 00:48:21,857
-Cheese to the bees.
-Cheers to the beers.
600
00:48:21,940 --> 00:48:25,068
-Diamonds are forever.
-Cherries to the berries.
601
00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:32,242
The aspiring chief minister
is not dead yet.
602
00:48:32,326 --> 00:48:34,286
But that can change.
603
00:48:34,911 --> 00:48:38,790
She used to live down my street
when she was a schoolgirl.
604
00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:42,127
The bitch in her green school uniform,
605
00:48:42,210 --> 00:48:47,132
skirt ending just below her panties.
606
00:48:47,215 --> 00:48:49,718
She literally dripped
as she walked along the street.
607
00:48:49,801 --> 00:48:54,848
And the dogs on heat
followed the bitch in heat.
608
00:49:01,146 --> 00:49:02,856
[stammers] Ch-- Ch--
609
00:49:02,939 --> 00:49:05,525
Chrysalis, I believe that's the word
you were struggling for.
610
00:49:06,401 --> 00:49:08,236
[girl] Away from the parental cocoon.
611
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:12,532
Not to mention the most conservative city
in the world.
612
00:49:13,367 --> 00:49:16,536
-Madras.
-The nympha become butterflies.
613
00:49:16,620 --> 00:49:18,830
Interesting that you use the word
"nympha."
614
00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:22,709
If you're going to flog that old
nymphomaniac joke, forget it.
615
00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:26,546
Be that as it may,
whatever mania you girls subscribe to,
616
00:49:26,630 --> 00:49:29,299
you seem to be of the quizzing persuasion.
617
00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:33,428
You don't need much persuasion
in a Brahman family, sir.
618
00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:37,599
Study, study, study.
Quizzing is good for you.
619
00:49:37,683 --> 00:49:41,311
I mean, who will marry you if you don't
have at least a postgraduate degree?
620
00:49:41,395 --> 00:49:44,856
That is correct. Who will indeed?
621
00:49:46,149 --> 00:49:49,152
-Have we seen you in Bangalore quizzes?
-We've seen you.
622
00:49:49,236 --> 00:49:51,780
-We were at the South Zone championship.
-Which we won.
623
00:49:51,863 --> 00:49:53,365
Oh, really, how could you tell?
624
00:49:56,868 --> 00:49:59,746
I'm Randeep... Randy.
625
00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:02,457
Padma. Paddy.
626
00:50:02,541 --> 00:50:04,835
No predictable Irish jokes, please.
627
00:50:04,918 --> 00:50:08,046
I was going for the rice theme. I'm Ajay.
628
00:50:08,964 --> 00:50:11,258
-Rani.
-Yasmin.
629
00:50:11,341 --> 00:50:12,259
Naina.
630
00:50:13,552 --> 00:50:15,429
He's Naman, our team captain.
631
00:50:15,512 --> 00:50:19,683
I have seen Trappist monks
speak more than your team captain.
632
00:50:19,766 --> 00:50:24,563
Forget it. He's in love. With me.
633
00:50:27,899 --> 00:50:29,860
[Naman] Where was she all my wife?
634
00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:32,612
Madras.
635
00:50:35,031 --> 00:50:36,992
You really must be in love.
636
00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:39,369
What makes you say that?
637
00:50:40,245 --> 00:50:43,373
Physical action instead of
a smart verbal comeback.
638
00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,250
But what can I do?
639
00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:47,669
Talk to her, maybe.
640
00:50:49,045 --> 00:50:50,505
It's been known to work.
641
00:50:53,216 --> 00:50:55,427
I'm going to try and chat with Paddy.
642
00:50:57,137 --> 00:50:59,598
-How about Rita?
-Who?
643
00:50:59,681 --> 00:51:02,267
[Brian reads question]
644
00:51:08,106 --> 00:51:10,025
[chaperone] So, the essence of my book,
645
00:51:10,108 --> 00:51:13,445
which I am titling
Nostradamus's Inevitable Hinduism,
646
00:51:13,528 --> 00:51:17,991
is that your superstar Christ
was in fact sired by a Roman guard.
647
00:51:18,074 --> 00:51:20,744
Tiberius Iulius Abdes Pantera.
648
00:51:20,827 --> 00:51:23,872
-Centurion much higher than a god.
-[woman] How quaint.
649
00:51:23,955 --> 00:51:27,709
Clearly there were traces of
miscegenation in your own family tree,
650
00:51:27,793 --> 00:51:31,755
-hence you're out to taint Christianity.
-No, no, there is proof.
651
00:51:31,838 --> 00:51:36,259
The Greek philosopher Celsus
said so in his work Alethès Lógos.
652
00:51:36,343 --> 00:51:40,138
-Which was refuted by his friend Origen--
-In his eight-volume work Contra Celsum.
653
00:51:42,724 --> 00:51:46,812
Naina, can I have a word with you alone?
654
00:51:49,397 --> 00:51:53,485
No. No mixing with boys.
What would your father say?
655
00:51:53,568 --> 00:51:55,862
Let her go, O Augusta Delphin.
656
00:51:55,946 --> 00:52:01,743
They are typical quiz boys.
Harmless, gutless, feckless.
657
00:52:03,870 --> 00:52:08,708
Clearly your protégés, then,
Bernard Judekumar Irudayarasan.
658
00:52:08,792 --> 00:52:12,671
I'll have you know, Miss Augusta,
that in 1968,
659
00:52:12,754 --> 00:52:17,175
when I used to come to your school,
there was not a single...
660
00:52:17,259 --> 00:52:19,135
[train horn blows]
661
00:52:19,219 --> 00:52:21,805
[Naina] Well, none for me?
662
00:52:21,888 --> 00:52:23,974
A beaker full of the warm south.
663
00:52:24,057 --> 00:52:25,934
The blushful Hippocrene.
664
00:52:28,812 --> 00:52:30,564
You know your stuff.
665
00:52:32,023 --> 00:52:33,024
Mmm.
666
00:52:33,108 --> 00:52:35,193
It's a funny thing about knowledge.
667
00:52:35,277 --> 00:52:37,863
It's been known for more than one person
to have it.
668
00:52:37,946 --> 00:52:41,157
-That's not what I meant.
-That is exactly what you meant.
669
00:52:41,241 --> 00:52:44,578
But you didn't say what you meant
when you said that--
670
00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:46,371
That you were in love with me.
671
00:52:47,539 --> 00:52:49,708
It's painfully obvious.
672
00:52:49,791 --> 00:52:56,214
I am good-looking,
smart, female, Brahman,
673
00:52:56,298 --> 00:52:59,217
now imbibing alcoholic libations with you.
674
00:52:59,301 --> 00:53:04,055
I even speak in that funny convoluted way
that quizzers seem to automatically adopt.
675
00:53:04,639 --> 00:53:08,560
And if I were to ask you for that cigar,
you would propose right away.
676
00:53:09,769 --> 00:53:13,231
And I'm not awed
by your quiz-champ status.
677
00:53:16,151 --> 00:53:18,653
You know so much about me. How?
678
00:53:18,737 --> 00:53:20,488
I've seen you onstage.
679
00:53:20,572 --> 00:53:22,240
Admired me from afar.
680
00:53:22,949 --> 00:53:26,703
Seen you onstage. You are a great quizzer.
681
00:53:26,786 --> 00:53:33,585
Brahman fundamentalist, alcoholic,
sexist, et cetera, et cetera.
682
00:53:33,668 --> 00:53:35,295
Thanks.
683
00:53:35,378 --> 00:53:38,298
And only you would take that
as a compliment.
684
00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:44,596
-You still haven't answered.
-I still don't know what the question is.
685
00:53:44,679 --> 00:53:47,557
[train horn blowing]
686
00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:49,893
[Rita] Are you coming or going?
687
00:53:49,976 --> 00:53:51,144
Forget it.
688
00:53:51,227 --> 00:53:52,562
-Brahman family.
-Naman.
689
00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:53,730
-[Naman] Rita?
-Naina.
690
00:53:53,813 --> 00:53:55,607
-[Ajay] She's a Christian, ra.
-No!
691
00:53:57,943 --> 00:54:00,654
[Bernard] And what was worse,
was that I lost a fortune
692
00:54:00,737 --> 00:54:03,448
due to termites getting
into my deposit box.
693
00:54:04,699 --> 00:54:06,451
Sir, what happened?
694
00:54:06,534 --> 00:54:08,578
We're stuck at the Orissa-Bengal border.
695
00:54:08,662 --> 00:54:10,872
The ruling party has called for
a bandh, a general strike.
696
00:54:10,956 --> 00:54:13,375
No movement for the next 12 hours.
697
00:54:17,128 --> 00:54:20,840
-And the reserve, sir?
-I finished it all while you were asleep.
698
00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:22,634
Miss Augusta helped.
699
00:54:23,885 --> 00:54:26,388
And the train has run out of food.
700
00:54:26,471 --> 00:54:28,181
Wake up, bastard.
701
00:54:29,683 --> 00:54:32,477
-[groans]
-Wake up, bastard, wake up.
702
00:54:39,109 --> 00:54:41,611
[traditional Indian guitar song plays]
703
00:55:24,237 --> 00:55:25,321
[Ajay] Nipple.
704
00:55:27,949 --> 00:55:28,908
Aureolae.
705
00:55:34,205 --> 00:55:36,124
[Naman] We need food.
706
00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:38,168
Booze.
707
00:55:39,919 --> 00:55:41,379
[stammers] Train.
708
00:55:42,338 --> 00:55:45,008
[both mimic train]
709
00:55:45,091 --> 00:55:46,301
Stop.
710
00:55:46,384 --> 00:55:48,011
Food, food.
711
00:55:48,094 --> 00:55:49,721
Aah...
712
00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:52,390
And, uh, booze, booze.
713
00:55:52,474 --> 00:55:53,767
Mmm.
714
00:56:00,273 --> 00:56:01,149
Booze.
715
00:56:01,232 --> 00:56:03,610
[chickens clucking, rooster crows]
716
00:56:33,473 --> 00:56:36,101
-[soft overlapping chatter]
-[slow music plays on a radio]
717
00:57:15,223 --> 00:57:17,267
[belches]
718
00:57:18,768 --> 00:57:20,603
Sorry.
719
00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:22,564
In China--
720
00:57:22,647 --> 00:57:27,610
Belching is considered to be a sign
of gratitude and satisfaction. I know.
721
00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:31,781
-Always a step ahead.
-Obviously.
722
00:57:33,366 --> 00:57:39,122
Anyway, I am grateful and satisfied.
Thank you for getting all this.
723
00:57:39,205 --> 00:57:43,751
Well, when one is described
as gutless and harmless--
724
00:57:43,835 --> 00:57:46,171
You left out feckless.
725
00:57:46,254 --> 00:57:49,549
James Joyce used the word "feck"
as a synonym for stealing.
726
00:57:49,632 --> 00:57:53,178
In A Portrait of the Artist
as a Young Man. Yeah.
727
00:57:54,053 --> 00:57:57,348
-Not bad.
-For a girl?
728
00:57:58,057 --> 00:58:01,394
-No. Not bad per se.
-Oh.
729
00:58:01,478 --> 00:58:04,022
A compliment. Not grudging.
730
00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:12,614
You were right when you said
that I don't really even understand--
731
00:58:12,697 --> 00:58:16,493
-Naman, don't you have a girlfriend?
-Yes.
732
00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:19,704
No. Not yet.
733
00:58:20,663 --> 00:58:22,999
[chuckles] Either way, you're unfaithful.
734
00:58:23,082 --> 00:58:28,421
No doubt you have some twisted
Brahman justification to explain it away.
735
00:58:28,505 --> 00:58:29,797
He does.
736
00:58:29,881 --> 00:58:32,967
Naina, Augusta ma'am says it's bedtime.
737
00:58:33,051 --> 00:58:36,554
-[Naman] The last song on the--
-White Album. Good night.
738
00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:56,115
You realize who Naina is, don't you?
739
00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:58,701
Who?
740
00:59:00,620 --> 00:59:02,080
She's you, Naman.
741
00:59:04,457 --> 00:59:06,209
Female Naman.
742
00:59:09,128 --> 00:59:13,132
So, if you fuck her...
743
00:59:15,260 --> 00:59:17,220
it'll be like fucking yourself.
744
00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:23,851
That makes it homo sex.
745
00:59:23,935 --> 00:59:25,478
[rock music playing]
746
00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:28,314
[chanting]
747
00:59:33,319 --> 00:59:35,238
-[Brian] Good evening, everybody.
-[applause]
748
00:59:35,321 --> 00:59:39,033
How's Calcutta doing today?
How's Calcutta doing today?
749
00:59:39,117 --> 00:59:40,952
-[cheering]
-Very good.
750
00:59:41,035 --> 00:59:44,414
This year is a very special year
751
00:59:44,497 --> 00:59:49,002
because we are celebrating
the 17th anniversary of quizzing in India,
752
00:59:49,085 --> 00:59:51,796
which, as you all know,
began right here in Calcutta.
753
00:59:51,879 --> 00:59:56,050
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Quiz Superstars.
754
00:59:56,676 --> 01:00:00,680
The biggest quiz in India,
and I'm Brian D'Costa.
755
01:00:01,681 --> 01:00:03,391
-Oh, less of brain.
-Yeah.
756
01:00:03,474 --> 01:00:06,561
As usual, we have teams
from all across India,
757
01:00:06,644 --> 01:00:11,566
from Delhi, Bombay, Bangalore, Madras
758
01:00:11,649 --> 01:00:17,280
and, of course,
our very own kollolini Kolkata.
759
01:00:17,363 --> 01:00:19,991
-[cheers and applause]
-I have great news for you.
760
01:00:20,074 --> 01:00:24,370
This year, our sponsors are not only
hosting the outstation teams,
761
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:28,750
but are also paying for the food
and beverage expenses.
762
01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:32,253
-What did he say?
-He said drinks are on the house.
763
01:00:34,547 --> 01:00:38,426
India has a proud tradition of quizzing.
764
01:00:38,509 --> 01:00:42,430
This is because
we Indians thirst for knowledge...
765
01:00:43,389 --> 01:00:46,809
Hey. How are you? All well?
Good to see you.
766
01:00:46,893 --> 01:00:49,646
[Brian] We Indians also revel
in displaying said knowledge.
767
01:00:49,729 --> 01:00:54,525
Trivia, esoterica, science, technology.
768
01:00:54,609 --> 01:00:58,905
-16 whiskeys, please. On the quiz tab.
-Yes, sir.
769
01:00:58,988 --> 01:01:03,910
...our very lovely scorer for tonight,
Kitty Chatterjee.
770
01:01:04,619 --> 01:01:09,916
You look absolutely gorgeous.
Come on up. Wonderful. Welcome.
771
01:01:10,541 --> 01:01:13,920
Can we have a big round of applause
for Kitty tonight? Thank you.
772
01:01:15,171 --> 01:01:19,509
Thank you so much. All right,
my next question is for Bangalore.
773
01:01:19,592 --> 01:01:21,803
Are you ready for this question?
774
01:01:21,886 --> 01:01:26,766
On Calcutta's suburban trains,
what are the pen sellers called?
775
01:01:26,849 --> 01:01:28,768
Your time starts now.
776
01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:32,772
This is a pass-on round... Yes?
777
01:01:32,855 --> 01:01:36,192
-Lalu-Bhulus.
-That is the right answer.
778
01:01:36,275 --> 01:01:39,362
Big round of applause, please.
Thank you so much.
779
01:01:39,445 --> 01:01:40,947
Kitty, two points for Bangalore.
780
01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:42,699
Delhi, my next question,
781
01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:46,411
who was the cowriter of Layla,
along with Eric Clapton?
782
01:01:46,494 --> 01:01:48,037
George Harrison.
783
01:01:48,121 --> 01:01:52,333
I'm sorry, that's the incorrect answer.
The question now passes to Madras.
784
01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:55,253
-What is the answer?
-Jim Gordon.
785
01:01:55,336 --> 01:01:57,004
Absolutely right! Perfect!
786
01:01:58,297 --> 01:02:03,052
Team Bangalore, which 1942 painting
by Edward Hopper
787
01:02:03,136 --> 01:02:05,722
-depicts people in a downtown--
-Nighthawks.
788
01:02:05,805 --> 01:02:09,600
Perfect. Thank you so much.
Two points for Bangalore.
789
01:02:09,684 --> 01:02:13,646
Calcutta, the nationality
of Christopher Columbus.
790
01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:15,022
[boy] We guess he was Spanish.
791
01:02:15,106 --> 01:02:17,483
I am so sorry,
that's the incorrect answer.
792
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:20,820
The question now passes to Bangalore.
793
01:02:20,903 --> 01:02:23,281
-Italy.
-Absolutely right.
794
01:02:23,364 --> 01:02:26,242
Bangalore is on a roll tonight.
795
01:02:26,325 --> 01:02:28,244
Who bowled him that first ball?
796
01:02:28,327 --> 01:02:30,913
-Graham McKenzie.
-That is perfectly right.
797
01:02:30,997 --> 01:02:34,542
-All right, Calcutta, what is the answer?
-1911.
798
01:02:34,625 --> 01:02:38,921
Absolutely right. May we have a big round
of applause for Calcutta! Thank you.
799
01:02:39,839 --> 01:02:43,134
This is a first. A tie.
800
01:02:43,217 --> 01:02:45,178
The reigning champions, Calcutta,
801
01:02:45,261 --> 01:02:51,392
and challengers Bangalore
are both tied on 32 points.
802
01:02:51,476 --> 01:02:53,770
As this is a winner-takes-all quiz,
803
01:02:53,853 --> 01:02:57,982
I shall now have to ask
a final tiebreaker question.
804
01:02:58,566 --> 01:02:59,984
Are you ready?
805
01:03:00,902 --> 01:03:04,155
Bangalore, this tiebreaker question
is for you.
806
01:03:04,238 --> 01:03:10,077
What is the American popular slang
for motels run by Indians?
807
01:03:10,995 --> 01:03:14,749
Most US hotels are run by Patels. Potels.
808
01:03:15,583 --> 01:03:16,417
What?
809
01:03:16,501 --> 01:03:18,377
[Brian] Your time is running out,
Bangalore.
810
01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:21,714
-Oh, sorry. Can you repeat the question?
-[Brian] Yes.
811
01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:27,220
What is the American popular slang
for motels run by Indians?
812
01:03:27,303 --> 01:03:31,808
Simple. Potels. Motels run by Patels.
813
01:03:33,684 --> 01:03:36,729
Bangalore, that is the wrong answer.
814
01:03:37,688 --> 01:03:40,274
Calcutta, it's your turn.
815
01:03:40,358 --> 01:03:43,152
I believe the correct answer
would be Patels.
816
01:03:43,236 --> 01:03:47,073
That is absolutely right.
Calcutta have the right answer!
817
01:03:47,156 --> 01:03:49,575
-Calcutta wins again!
-[cheering]
818
01:03:49,659 --> 01:03:51,744
Potels, not Patels,
is the correct answer, sir.
819
01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:56,499
-Potels. Potels, Calcutta, potels.
-It's Patels.
820
01:03:57,708 --> 01:04:00,545
It's a fix. I knew it.
821
01:04:04,131 --> 01:04:06,008
[sound fades]
822
01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:15,935
[echoing] I curse you,
you fucking brainless Brian baboon.
823
01:04:16,018 --> 01:04:17,937
[up-tempo drums]
824
01:04:19,397 --> 01:04:22,316
♪ Oh, you asshole ♪
825
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,820
♪ Completely loathsome pain in the bum ♪
826
01:04:25,903 --> 01:04:29,490
[indistinct chanting]
827
01:04:29,574 --> 01:04:32,743
♪ Brahman Naman
Fuck you up ♪
828
01:04:32,827 --> 01:04:34,370
[indistinct chatter]
829
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,723
Sorry, Naman. You deserved to win.
830
01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:57,476
-It's a fix. That fucking brainless--
-[man clears his throat]
831
01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:58,769
[Naina] Naman, this is my father.
832
01:04:58,853 --> 01:05:01,606
Sorry, uncle. It's just that--
833
01:05:01,689 --> 01:05:05,443
Whatever the scenario, the use of foul
language is not appropriate, young man.
834
01:05:06,527 --> 01:05:07,904
Sorry, uncle.
835
01:05:07,987 --> 01:05:09,572
What are you studying?
836
01:05:10,948 --> 01:05:14,410
Commerce. St. James, Bangalore, sir.
837
01:05:14,493 --> 01:05:17,663
It's a good college. What are your plans?
838
01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:21,292
-Plans?
-I mean career plans.
839
01:05:21,375 --> 01:05:24,545
You're studying B-com? Hello?
840
01:05:24,629 --> 01:05:26,839
You're studying B-com, next year, MBA?
841
01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:29,425
Sir, I haven't really decided.
842
01:05:30,593 --> 01:05:33,763
Well, that's a problem with today's boys.
843
01:05:33,846 --> 01:05:37,558
Look at my Naina. She's already preparing
for her MBA entrance.
844
01:05:38,309 --> 01:05:39,143
[sighs]
845
01:05:40,227 --> 01:05:43,230
Naina, let me go and check the tickets.
846
01:05:45,816 --> 01:05:49,111
I'm so sorry.
He's not as bad as he sounds.
847
01:05:49,195 --> 01:05:52,281
My father asks me the same questions.
[clears throat]
848
01:05:53,658 --> 01:05:57,912
Anyway, what was he saying about
the tickets? Aren't you returning with us?
849
01:05:57,995 --> 01:05:59,914
No. Uh...
850
01:05:59,997 --> 01:06:03,000
We're going to Jamshedpur to see my aunt.
851
01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:06,128
-So when...?
-Who knows?
852
01:06:08,506 --> 01:06:09,715
And us?
853
01:06:09,799 --> 01:06:13,052
Naman, just because a girl spends time
with you on equal terms
854
01:06:13,135 --> 01:06:15,429
doesn't qualify for an "us."
855
01:06:20,601 --> 01:06:21,769
Do you even like me?
856
01:06:24,438 --> 01:06:29,193
You're oddly likable.
Or likable, which is odd.
857
01:06:43,791 --> 01:06:46,419
On the quiz tab.
858
01:06:46,502 --> 01:06:48,295
[laughing]
859
01:07:03,978 --> 01:07:08,190
Naman, if you don't mind,
I have a suggestion.
860
01:07:10,317 --> 01:07:13,029
What can you possibly add
to this wonderful evening?
861
01:07:15,322 --> 01:07:19,702
Why don't you give Rita a call?
She was Plan A, after all.
862
01:07:23,247 --> 01:07:25,791
Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings!
863
01:07:26,917 --> 01:07:28,711
Bloody master.
864
01:07:29,628 --> 01:07:31,922
[rock music plays]
865
01:07:36,093 --> 01:07:37,845
[indistinct chatter over PA]
866
01:07:39,597 --> 01:07:42,058
-Details?
-So...
867
01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:45,686
was Padma aka Paddy a virgin?
Rivers of blood, et cetera?
868
01:07:46,270 --> 01:07:49,398
-We didn't really...
-What? But you were with her all night.
869
01:07:49,482 --> 01:07:53,319
-Actually, we didn't do it.
-Why, bambino? No lead in the old pencil?
870
01:07:53,402 --> 01:07:55,488
No, you didn't let me finish.
871
01:07:55,571 --> 01:08:00,159
I was going to say, actually,
we didn't do it with a condom.
872
01:08:00,242 --> 01:08:01,702
Bareback.
873
01:08:03,245 --> 01:08:05,915
It slipped in smooth with no obstacles.
874
01:08:05,998 --> 01:08:08,167
So who popped it? The milkman?
875
01:08:08,250 --> 01:08:10,836
She said it broke
from excessive cycle riding.
876
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:13,422
Not from excessive Ajay riding.
877
01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:17,510
I wonder what she'll tell her husband?
878
01:08:17,593 --> 01:08:20,554
I believe hymenoplasty
is an option these days.
879
01:08:21,388 --> 01:08:22,223
Hmm.
880
01:08:34,318 --> 01:08:36,153
[train whistle blows]
881
01:08:47,748 --> 01:08:50,251
[moody electropop music]
882
01:08:55,506 --> 01:08:59,844
-♪ Where did you go? ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
883
01:08:59,927 --> 01:09:04,306
-♪ I don't know ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
884
01:09:04,390 --> 01:09:08,018
-♪ I don't know ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
885
01:09:08,102 --> 01:09:12,815
-♪ Where did you go? ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
886
01:09:12,898 --> 01:09:17,319
-♪ I am in pain ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
887
01:09:17,403 --> 01:09:21,532
-♪ You were in train ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
888
01:09:21,615 --> 01:09:26,036
-♪ I am in train ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
889
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:30,416
-♪ Are you in pain? ♪
-♪ Ah ♪
890
01:09:30,499 --> 01:09:34,545
-♪ Is this a game? ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
891
01:09:34,628 --> 01:09:38,841
-♪ This is a shame ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
892
01:09:38,924 --> 01:09:45,931
♪ This is a game ♪
893
01:09:46,807 --> 01:09:50,102
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
894
01:09:50,186 --> 01:09:53,147
Quick. Piss her out.
895
01:09:54,315 --> 01:09:56,567
-On the tracks?
-Where else?
896
01:09:58,277 --> 01:09:59,904
[both unzipping pants]
897
01:10:02,823 --> 01:10:04,950
[Brian reads question]
898
01:10:15,794 --> 01:10:18,339
[sultry music]
899
01:11:06,136 --> 01:11:08,305
[moans quietly]
900
01:11:20,526 --> 01:11:23,070
[Rita] Listen, you can't keep
calling me like this.
901
01:11:23,153 --> 01:11:25,155
My parents have been wondering.
902
01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:28,158
And you keep hanging up
when anybody else picks up.
903
01:11:28,242 --> 01:11:31,078
That's because I want to talk only to you.
904
01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:33,455
Can I call you darling?
905
01:11:34,123 --> 01:11:35,708
Darling Rita.
906
01:11:36,667 --> 01:11:37,501
Hmm.
907
01:11:37,584 --> 01:11:39,503
You're looking beautiful.
908
01:11:39,586 --> 01:11:41,171
-Hello?
-Hello?
909
01:11:41,255 --> 01:11:42,548
Hello.
910
01:11:42,631 --> 01:11:44,758
[Naman] You're looking beautiful.
911
01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:48,053
Hmm...
912
01:11:49,888 --> 01:11:51,390
How do you know?
913
01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:55,144
Because girls look beautiful
when they are angry.
914
01:11:55,227 --> 01:11:58,564
But I don't even know what you look like.
915
01:11:58,647 --> 01:12:01,442
In the fullness of time,
at the appropriate juncture.
916
01:12:01,525 --> 01:12:04,236
-Hello?
-[distorted] At the appropriate juncture.
917
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:05,779
-Hello?
-I can't-- [static]
918
01:12:05,863 --> 01:12:07,781
Please give me a clue.
919
01:12:07,865 --> 01:12:10,492
I wrote an article in
the St. James' College magazine last year.
920
01:12:11,410 --> 01:12:12,870
-Hello?
-Hello?
921
01:12:12,953 --> 01:12:16,373
-What was it called?
-It was called Depression: A Treatise.
922
01:12:17,666 --> 01:12:20,169
Hello? Rita, hello?
923
01:12:20,252 --> 01:12:21,462
[Rita laughs]
924
01:12:21,545 --> 01:12:23,130
Depression: A Treatise.
925
01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:25,382
Hello?
926
01:12:28,427 --> 01:12:30,804
There you are. I looked everywhere.
927
01:12:30,888 --> 01:12:32,264
What do you want?
928
01:12:32,973 --> 01:12:37,102
-I just heard about Calcutta and--
-You've come to gloat about our defeat.
929
01:12:37,186 --> 01:12:40,481
You know I would never even dream
of anything like that.
930
01:12:40,564 --> 01:12:44,234
Good news, good news, the Lord
is coming, the savior is coming!
931
01:12:44,318 --> 01:12:49,281
-But I am already here.
-No, Lord Jesus Christ is coming.
932
01:12:49,365 --> 01:12:52,326
Austin Town football ground.
7 p.m. Wednesday.
933
01:12:52,409 --> 01:12:53,744
Is he coming in person?
934
01:12:57,289 --> 01:12:58,791
[motorbike approaches]
935
01:13:04,046 --> 01:13:05,798
-This one?
-Yeah.
936
01:13:06,757 --> 01:13:08,592
Are you Naman?
937
01:13:16,683 --> 01:13:18,519
Are you Naman?
938
01:13:19,853 --> 01:13:22,523
Depression: A Treatise indeed.
939
01:13:23,524 --> 01:13:24,983
And do you know what?
940
01:13:25,067 --> 01:13:28,153
The stupid language of your stupid piece
941
01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:31,990
totally matched the stupid language
of your stupid letter.
942
01:13:32,074 --> 01:13:33,075
Stupid!
943
01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:37,621
So you're the one
who's been calling me all this while.
944
01:13:40,207 --> 01:13:43,919
Never ever call me again. Coward.
945
01:13:52,261 --> 01:13:54,596
At least she spoke to you face-to-face.
946
01:13:55,389 --> 01:13:57,224
[rock music]
947
01:13:57,307 --> 01:14:00,477
♪ My baby left me ♪
948
01:14:00,561 --> 01:14:02,438
♪ She was mad ♪
949
01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:06,108
[Ajay] "Never ever call me again.
950
01:14:06,191 --> 01:14:08,694
-Coward."
-Fuckers.
951
01:14:08,777 --> 01:14:10,571
With friends like you, who needs enemas?
952
01:14:10,654 --> 01:14:12,656
This is what I told you in the beginning.
953
01:14:12,739 --> 01:14:15,451
Don't have anything to do with girls.
They are stupid.
954
01:14:15,534 --> 01:14:18,203
How about your fling with Padma
in Calcutta?
955
01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:22,374
The best thing to do is jerk her out.
956
01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:24,918
She'll disappear from your heart
as soon as you cum.
957
01:14:25,002 --> 01:14:26,879
Don't worry, she's probably
an untouchable anyway.
958
01:14:27,963 --> 01:14:30,716
To the victory of sex. Sex is truth.
959
01:14:30,799 --> 01:14:32,926
In vino veritas.
960
01:14:33,010 --> 01:14:35,429
There's truth in alcohol, too.
961
01:14:35,929 --> 01:14:38,223
Forgive me, I lied to you in Calcutta.
962
01:14:38,891 --> 01:14:43,437
At least you got laid, ra.
Padma ain't no Sylvia Kristel, but...
963
01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:44,563
That night after the quiz,
964
01:14:44,646 --> 01:14:47,649
her boyfriend had followed her to Calcutta
to get time alone with her.
965
01:14:47,733 --> 01:14:51,153
Miss Augusta let her go with me
because Bernie told her we were harmless.
966
01:14:51,737 --> 01:14:54,990
I took her to her boyfriend's hotel
and waited while she went upstairs.
967
01:14:55,824 --> 01:14:58,076
She took hours and hours to come back.
968
01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,787
-[laughter]
-At least somebody got laid!
969
01:15:07,419 --> 01:15:11,465
Hey. Why chase after Nainas and Ritas
when you have her?
970
01:15:11,548 --> 01:15:13,509
-I wouldn't go there.
-I would.
971
01:15:13,592 --> 01:15:17,971
So what if she's got pimples.
Nice tits, nice arse.
972
01:15:18,055 --> 01:15:20,599
Cover the face, fire the base.
973
01:15:22,559 --> 01:15:26,146
I know I'm not invited here,
but Rita told me what she said to you--
974
01:15:26,230 --> 01:15:29,566
For a change, you aren't gloating.
Take a pew.
975
01:15:34,613 --> 01:15:36,698
♪ Fuck you! ♪
976
01:15:36,782 --> 01:15:39,117
♪ I'll be fine ♪
977
01:15:45,457 --> 01:15:48,835
I want green salad.
978
01:15:48,919 --> 01:15:53,757
-Sorry, sir, kitchen is closed.
-But I want green salad.
979
01:15:59,304 --> 01:16:03,100
-I think you should go home now.
-[Randy] I want green salad.
980
01:16:03,183 --> 01:16:05,894
I want revenge. Bloody leper Rita.
981
01:16:07,729 --> 01:16:09,523
You'll get your revenge, baba.
982
01:16:09,606 --> 01:16:12,609
[Ramu] "If you prick us, do we not bleed?
983
01:16:12,693 --> 01:16:15,279
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?"
984
01:16:15,362 --> 01:16:17,072
"If you poison us, do we not die?"
985
01:16:17,155 --> 01:16:20,784
"If you wrong us, shall we not revenge?"
986
01:16:20,867 --> 01:16:22,244
Shakespeare.
987
01:16:24,037 --> 01:16:26,164
-[Randy] I want...
-Randy!
988
01:16:26,248 --> 01:16:27,666
...green salad.
989
01:16:27,749 --> 01:16:30,711
-[Ramu] Come down. Come down now.
-[Ash] Please, what are you doing?
990
01:16:30,794 --> 01:16:32,629
But I want green fucking salad.
991
01:16:32,713 --> 01:16:34,590
[Ash] Randy, please just come down.
Please.
992
01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:38,677
No green. No women.
993
01:16:40,053 --> 01:16:41,597
No salad.
994
01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:45,392
What's the point in living?
995
01:16:47,477 --> 01:16:49,229
[panicked chatter]
996
01:16:49,313 --> 01:16:51,607
Come down, ra.
Don't make a scene here.
997
01:16:51,690 --> 01:16:53,525
-[Ash] Please, Randy.
-[Naman] Waiter, salad, now.
998
01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:58,405
-[Naman] It's coming.
-This way. Come down, please. Careful.
999
01:17:00,699 --> 01:17:02,784
There's your green salad.
1000
01:17:25,682 --> 01:17:29,394
Precision... is the key.
1001
01:17:34,858 --> 01:17:38,320
God, what have I created?
1002
01:17:39,821 --> 01:17:41,615
[motorbike engine]
1003
01:17:49,331 --> 01:17:52,918
Watch and learn.
The revenge of the Brahman.
1004
01:17:56,546 --> 01:17:57,798
[whistle blowing]
1005
01:17:57,881 --> 01:18:00,217
-[Ash laughs]
-[rock music plays]
1006
01:18:10,143 --> 01:18:11,812
Where to now?
1007
01:18:12,979 --> 01:18:15,607
You want to see something
you've never seen before?
1008
01:18:16,441 --> 01:18:19,903
Romantic, soft, bouncy.
1009
01:18:21,196 --> 01:18:23,490
I would love to!
1010
01:18:28,245 --> 01:18:31,206
Joseph! Joseph!
1011
01:18:31,289 --> 01:18:35,210
Yaarappa? Sir, you so late.
1012
01:18:35,293 --> 01:18:37,838
Leave the light on, maado,
and go back to bed, understand?
1013
01:18:40,841 --> 01:18:43,009
[Ash laughs]
1014
01:18:47,973 --> 01:18:50,434
-Wow.
-Impressive.
1015
01:18:50,517 --> 01:18:53,395
My father imports these machines
from Austria.
1016
01:18:53,812 --> 01:18:54,855
Really?
1017
01:19:14,916 --> 01:19:17,377
[Ash laughs]
1018
01:19:35,395 --> 01:19:39,483
For madam, the finest
rubberized coir latex
1019
01:19:39,566 --> 01:19:43,153
featuring a fabulous jute hessian
quilted cloth.
1020
01:19:43,236 --> 01:19:44,738
[giggling]
1021
01:19:44,821 --> 01:19:51,661
Or perhaps this one. This one sinks
to make perfect contours for your body.
1022
01:19:51,745 --> 01:19:56,875
Or should I say...
contours for your perfect body?
1023
01:20:08,345 --> 01:20:10,180
I have a surprise for you.
1024
01:20:25,946 --> 01:20:28,573
A Brahman cannot sip
from the same bottle as you.
1025
01:20:29,658 --> 01:20:32,327
Our lips are going to touch anyway.
1026
01:20:32,410 --> 01:20:35,580
Besides, I'm a Brahman, too.
1027
01:20:59,771 --> 01:21:01,565
Ow! Naman!
1028
01:21:03,066 --> 01:21:05,277
Ouch. What are you thinking?
1029
01:21:07,028 --> 01:21:08,405
Sorry.
1030
01:21:09,823 --> 01:21:11,700
How bad is it?
1031
01:21:22,002 --> 01:21:23,503
Ash?
1032
01:21:26,006 --> 01:21:27,924
Cover the face.
1033
01:21:30,385 --> 01:21:32,304
Fire the base.
1034
01:21:50,238 --> 01:21:51,948
[silent mouthing]
1035
01:22:12,552 --> 01:22:15,305
I've waited so long for this, Naman.
1036
01:22:37,661 --> 01:22:39,371
Where are you going, bastard?
1037
01:22:56,554 --> 01:23:00,558
Sorry for you, Naman. Very sorry.
1038
01:23:01,559 --> 01:23:06,982
I came here tonight because I loved you,
despite the constant mocking and...
1039
01:23:07,524 --> 01:23:10,443
underneath I thought
that there was some affection for me.
1040
01:23:11,277 --> 01:23:13,571
I was so wrong.
1041
01:23:13,655 --> 01:23:17,575
Your arrogance is just a front
for your ugliness.
1042
01:23:18,284 --> 01:23:20,704
Yes, Naman, you're ugly.
1043
01:23:27,752 --> 01:23:31,548
Rita was right.
You're nothing but a coward.
1044
01:23:32,799 --> 01:23:36,761
You think because you have all the answers
you're so clever. You don't.
1045
01:23:37,429 --> 01:23:39,097
And you're not.
1046
01:23:39,931 --> 01:23:42,934
Once your cheerleader friends
grow up and see through you,
1047
01:23:43,018 --> 01:23:47,897
you're going to be left all alone
for the rest of your miserable life.
1048
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:27,604
[starts motor]
1049
01:24:39,616 --> 01:24:40,784
[turns off motor]
1050
01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:50,794
What are you waiting for? Fuck off.
1051
01:24:53,379 --> 01:24:55,924
-It's a long walk back.
-I said, fuck off.
1052
01:25:02,305 --> 01:25:03,640
[revving engine]
1053
01:25:08,394 --> 01:25:10,188
[bike races away]
1054
01:25:28,581 --> 01:25:31,251
[school bell rings]
1055
01:25:51,146 --> 01:25:53,398
-Naman, I--
-The Iriya Samiti,
1056
01:25:53,481 --> 01:25:56,067
the regulation of walking
in Jain scriptures,
1057
01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:59,445
it states that one should walk
looking carefully six feet distance ahead.
1058
01:25:59,529 --> 01:26:02,740
So as not to cause the pain or death
of any living being.
1059
01:26:02,824 --> 01:26:04,784
"I like long walks.
1060
01:26:05,743 --> 01:26:08,705
Especially when they're taken
by people who annoy me."
1061
01:26:13,334 --> 01:26:15,128
[both] Noël Coward.
1062
01:26:20,967 --> 01:26:23,636
-Guess what.
-Hyderabad?
1063
01:26:23,720 --> 01:26:27,432
I was coming back on a coach,
luxury class, of course.
1064
01:26:27,515 --> 01:26:30,852
This sex bomb was in the seat next to me.
1065
01:26:30,935 --> 01:26:32,687
Male or female?
1066
01:26:34,189 --> 01:26:38,193
She fell asleep with her head
on my shoulders so I fiddled it.
1067
01:26:39,319 --> 01:26:41,529
She pretended to stay asleep.
1068
01:26:42,280 --> 01:26:44,782
So I stuck a finger in her pussy...
1069
01:26:45,909 --> 01:26:48,703
[sniffs] ...and I smelled it.
1070
01:26:48,786 --> 01:26:50,330
Did it smell of fish?
1071
01:26:50,413 --> 01:26:54,209
It was heavenly, ra, like your
grandmom's freshly cooked biryani.
1072
01:26:54,292 --> 01:26:57,503
-Veg or non-veg?
-Did you fuck her?
1073
01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:01,299
[Brian reads question]
1074
01:27:07,305 --> 01:27:09,974
-Welcome, Bangalore.
-[cheering]
1075
01:27:10,058 --> 01:27:14,938
Welcome to the finals of the
Annual Sagaya Mary Memorial Quiz.
1076
01:27:16,648 --> 01:27:20,860
Now, before we begin this event,
let me inform you about
1077
01:27:20,944 --> 01:27:27,367
certain shameful shenanigans at the
Quiz Superstars event held in Calcutta.
1078
01:27:27,450 --> 01:27:31,162
Upset at being beaten by a superior team,
1079
01:27:31,246 --> 01:27:37,252
the Bangalore team abused our hospitality
and ran up a bill of 4,000 rupees,
1080
01:27:37,335 --> 01:27:41,589
including two bottles of single malt.
1081
01:27:41,673 --> 01:27:44,968
[cheers and applause]
1082
01:27:45,718 --> 01:27:48,179
[Brian] So this is for you, Naman Bala.
1083
01:27:48,263 --> 01:27:54,936
You and your entire team
are henceforth banned from this quiz.
1084
01:27:55,687 --> 01:28:00,984
If I had my way, from every other quiz.
1085
01:28:01,985 --> 01:28:06,572
Please leave the hall. Now!
1086
01:28:09,075 --> 01:28:10,702
Now.
1087
01:28:10,785 --> 01:28:14,789
Will the other finalists
please come up on stage?
1088
01:28:17,333 --> 01:28:19,043
What the hell are you doing, Naman?
1089
01:28:20,044 --> 01:28:23,214
If this is your apology,
then you're too late for it, trust me.
1090
01:28:25,675 --> 01:28:27,343
[man] Give him a chance, man.
1091
01:28:29,178 --> 01:28:31,222
[quietly] There is a word...
1092
01:28:31,806 --> 01:28:33,057
[microphone feedback]
1093
01:28:33,141 --> 01:28:37,854
There is a word in the English language,
derived from the Latin, of course,
1094
01:28:37,937 --> 01:28:41,733
that is an expression of contrition.
1095
01:28:44,235 --> 01:28:45,695
I have committed an offense.
1096
01:28:46,988 --> 01:28:51,993
And perception of that offense
can compound over time...
1097
01:28:52,994 --> 01:28:54,829
otherwise known as compounding remorse.
1098
01:28:56,080 --> 01:28:59,417
What I am doing here is to compunctulate.
1099
01:29:00,626 --> 01:29:03,671
No, to recompunctulate.
1100
01:29:18,644 --> 01:29:21,022
-I have decided.
-What?
1101
01:29:21,105 --> 01:29:23,441
I'll marry Ash
and make an honest woman out of her.
1102
01:29:23,524 --> 01:29:25,443
Where did that come from?
1103
01:29:25,526 --> 01:29:27,904
If you're looking for context,
young apprentice,
1104
01:29:27,987 --> 01:29:31,407
the events of the last few days
must not have escaped your notice.
1105
01:29:31,491 --> 01:29:32,909
She is Brahman.
1106
01:29:33,951 --> 01:29:37,205
While Ramu here gets ready to get
deflowered by a bull,
1107
01:29:37,288 --> 01:29:42,043
unless he's already lost his hymen to
a milkman or other assorted menial help.
1108
01:29:42,126 --> 01:29:45,755
It was a bull... that broke my foot.
1109
01:29:50,510 --> 01:29:51,803
Where was I?
1110
01:29:51,886 --> 01:29:53,721
Ramu was getting fucked.
1111
01:29:54,555 --> 01:29:58,976
No, I was in Ash, but I will be once
we are joined together in holy matrimony.
1112
01:29:59,060 --> 01:30:00,561
Hi, honchos.
1113
01:30:04,232 --> 01:30:06,692
Coming for alcoholic libations
at the dhaba?
1114
01:30:25,002 --> 01:30:27,296
[hums]
1115
01:30:32,051 --> 01:30:38,141
♪ Oh, show me the way
to the next whiskey bar ♪
1116
01:30:38,224 --> 01:30:40,726
[all] ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
1117
01:30:40,810 --> 01:30:43,604
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
1118
01:30:43,688 --> 01:30:48,943
♪ Show me the way
to the next whiskey bar ♪
1119
01:30:49,026 --> 01:30:51,571
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
1120
01:30:51,654 --> 01:30:54,198
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
1121
01:30:54,282 --> 01:30:59,162
♪ For if we don't find
the next whiskey bar ♪
1122
01:30:59,245 --> 01:31:01,831
♪ I tell you we must die ♪
1123
01:31:01,914 --> 01:31:04,458
♪ I tell you we must die ♪
1124
01:31:04,542 --> 01:31:07,044
♪ I tell you
I tell you ♪
1125
01:31:07,128 --> 01:31:09,672
♪ I tell you we must die ♪
1126
01:31:09,755 --> 01:31:12,300
[upbeat instrumental music plays]
1127
01:31:15,011 --> 01:31:18,264
[all humming together]
1128
01:31:19,098 --> 01:31:25,188
♪ Oh, moon of Alabama ♪
1129
01:31:25,271 --> 01:31:30,276
♪ We now must say goodbye ♪
1130
01:31:30,359 --> 01:31:36,574
♪ We've lost our good old mama ♪
1131
01:31:36,657 --> 01:31:41,454
♪ And must have whiskey
Oh, you know why ♪
1132
01:31:41,537 --> 01:31:47,335
♪ Oh, moon of Alabama ♪
1133
01:31:47,418 --> 01:31:52,298
♪ We now must say goodbye ♪
1134
01:31:52,381 --> 01:31:58,721
♪ We've lost our good old mama ♪
1135
01:31:58,804 --> 01:32:02,850
♪ And must have whiskey
Oh, you know why ♪
1136
01:32:09,357 --> 01:32:15,571
♪ Well, show me the way
to the next little girl ♪
1137
01:32:15,655 --> 01:32:18,241
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
1138
01:32:18,324 --> 01:32:20,743
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
1139
01:32:20,826 --> 01:32:26,624
♪ Just show me the way
to the next little girl ♪
1140
01:32:26,707 --> 01:32:29,335
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
1141
01:32:29,418 --> 01:32:32,046
♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪
1142
01:32:32,129 --> 01:32:37,677
♪ For if we don't find
the next little girl ♪
1143
01:32:37,760 --> 01:32:40,304
♪ I tell you we must die ♪
1144
01:32:40,388 --> 01:32:43,057
♪ I tell you we must die ♪
1145
01:32:43,140 --> 01:32:48,562
♪ I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die ♪
1146
01:32:53,985 --> 01:32:59,865
♪ Oh, moon of Alabama ♪
1147
01:32:59,949 --> 01:33:05,121
♪ We now must say goodbye ♪
1148
01:33:05,204 --> 01:33:11,127
♪ We've lost our good old mama ♪
1149
01:33:11,210 --> 01:33:16,090
♪ And must have whiskey
Oh, you know why ♪
1150
01:33:16,173 --> 01:33:22,013
♪ Oh, moon of Alabama ♪
1151
01:33:22,096 --> 01:33:26,892
♪ We now must say goodbye ♪
1152
01:33:26,976 --> 01:33:33,316
♪ We've lost our good old mama ♪
1153
01:33:33,399 --> 01:33:37,403
♪ And must have whiskey
Oh, you know why ♪
1154
01:33:39,905 --> 01:33:43,534
["Where Did You Go?"
by Dr. Jayram & Sriharikuudi]
1155
01:33:57,298 --> 01:34:01,677
-♪ Where did you go? ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
1156
01:34:01,761 --> 01:34:06,015
-♪ I don't know ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
1157
01:34:06,098 --> 01:34:09,935
-♪ I don't know ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
1158
01:34:10,019 --> 01:34:14,607
-♪ Where did you go? ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
1159
01:34:14,690 --> 01:34:19,111
-♪ I am in pain ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
1160
01:34:19,195 --> 01:34:23,366
-♪ You were in train ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
1161
01:34:23,449 --> 01:34:27,828
-♪ I am in pain ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
1162
01:34:27,912 --> 01:34:32,291
-♪ Are you in pain? ♪
-♪ Ah ♪
1163
01:34:32,375 --> 01:34:36,629
-♪ Is this a game? ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
1164
01:34:36,712 --> 01:34:41,008
-♪ This is a shame ♪
-♪ Ah, ah ♪
1165
01:34:41,092 --> 01:34:48,099
♪ This is a game ♪
1166
01:34:48,766 --> 01:34:52,812
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
83881
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