All language subtitles for the_president_show_s01e17_paul_rieckhoff

Ladies and gentlemen, the 45th and final
president of the United States.

Somber, so somber.

You see that?

No applause.

My choice, because this has been a tough
week.

And folks, I understand tone.

We suffered such great loss at the hands
of a man who we were saddened to learn

is not a Muslim.

Wanted so badly for him to be a Muslim.

Even ISIS wanted him to be a Muslim.

Which is proof that sometimes it takes a
tragedy to unite us.

Wow, look at that tone.

This is a chance for all Americans to
set aside our differences.

No matter which side of the aisle you're
on. From the obstructionist freedom

-stealing Democrats to the un -American
witch -hunting Democrats.

We can't politicize our politics.

Somber.

It's in times like these we must search
for answers.

That's why tonight's theme is why.

I know as Americans we're all asking
ourselves the same question.

Why did this have to happen during my
presidency?

So many bad things. Three hurricanes.
All these investigations into my stupid

campaign. Getting trash talked by that
Puerto Rican lady mayor.

I mean, haven't I been through enough?

Tone.

Somber.

Nobody understands how hard it is for
me.

Somber Trump.

To walk out here tonight to no applause
at all.

These people want to clap.

You can't see them, but they're dying to
clap.

Isn't that right?

But I know.

But I told them not to.

And for that, I should be applauded.

Okay, now, do it.

We're already healing.

I'm the president.

Can you believe this?

Yeah, welcome to the show.

My guest tonight is veterans advocate
Paul Rykoff.

And with me, as always, is a human
styrofoam cup filled with eggshells.

Pence! Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much, sir. Much
appreciated.

Mike.

Can you believe how many people are
trying to get me to talk about gun

right now? Oh, at a time like this, sir,
now is not the time. We can't talk

about preventing something like this
from happening again.

No, it just happened. There should be a
mandatory waiting period before we can't

talk about the thing it's not time to
talk about now.

Exactly, sir. All in due time. I'm not
going to do time.

That's Jared's dad.

Oh, yes.

He'll do time, sir. He's your cover. My
time cover? No.

This is my time cover.

And that is definitely not Photoshop,
sir. Photoshop, not on my watch, because

my watch is a limited edition NRA. Now
is not the time timepiece.

With this watch, it's not the time all
the time.

Available for unlimited time.

We'll let you be available, sir.

Always, because it's never the time. Oh,
fabulous, sir. But you know what it is

time for? Oh, boy, oh, boy. It's time
for Screaming at the TV.

Let's see what's on the TV today.

We have an unkind leader. Whether you
vote for him or not, whether you support

him or not, most people will agree
Donald Trump is not a kind man.

He's a mean man. He's crude.

What? I'm not mean, you four -eyed
beaker Muppet Matthew Perry wannabe.

You're so low energy, you make Jeff Bush
look like Guy Fieri.

And crude? I got you crude right here.

Mother Mia, please, sir. Please.

I want to see a show that treats this
whole tragedy with dignity and respect.

There's an old saying.

that the show must go on, and it will.

But first, all of us at Dancing with the
Stars want to send our love, thoughts,

and prayers to everyone touched by the
senseless violence in Las Vegas.

Please know that we are doing tonight's
show with you foremost in our minds and

hearts.

Sir, sir, what's the problem? Those guys
were kneeling during the national

anthem, Mike.

No, no, sir.

Everybody Dance Now is not the national
anthem. I know what I saw.

Tom Bergeron was talking all somber.
Those hip -hop guys taking a knee, not

okay. And we can't just let everybody
dance now. We need extreme vetting.

See and see more TV facts.

A source close to this White House told
me today that the president's delayed

reaction to the crisis in Puerto Rico
was a combination of the president's

waning interest in hurricane response
after Hurricanes Harvey and Irma and a

general disregard for that which takes
place off the mainland.

No way!

How dare you say I'm losing interest in
whatever it was you said!

Oh, sir!

What?

Sir, he was talking about the hurricane
in Puerto Rico. Still? Why? I did a

great job down there.

Everywhere I went, the people in the
streets were chanting the Donald in

Spanish. El Diablo.

El Diablo. No, sir, that is not what you
think it means. Yo, Cucaracho, more TV.

Teller, sir, stunned a handful of
administration officials when he

referred to the president as a moron
after a meeting at the Pentagon.

He's the moron. Only a moron would still
be working for my administration.

And besides, could a moron juggle three
open cans of Pringles? What are you

going to do? See?

No, sir.

Jesus, Mike, look at this mess.

What did you do?

What did I do? I did what I always do,
sir. I sat by your side and tacitly

endorsed everything.

Well, we have to clean it up.

Wait a minute. No, we don't.

You people.

You, the American people, you clean up
my messes. Here we go. Take some paper

towels. Here we go. This is
presidential. We'll be right back.

Welcome back.

With everything that's going on, I
wanted to look like a good person. So I

with a group of veterans. Take a look.

Okay.

Thank you so much for all of your
service.

As you know, I'm the commander in chief.

And so I promise to ban trans.

and bring the military back to what it
used to be. And that's a promise.

I've got your back.

Actually, sir, we're all trans veterans.

What? Are you kidding me? You're trans
veterans?

I am not a trans veteran. Yeah, there
you go. This guy knows.

No, he don't. This guy knows.

No, he don't. Sir, I think there's some
things that you don't understand.

I have no military experience
whatsoever, which is why I want to

on why you're wrong.

The American military has always been
filled with brave men.

Then we added women, ugh, and the gays,
and now the trans.

And it's all falling apart.

First off, we need to ban the trans
because it's costing so much money. Sir,

defense budget is $700 million.

Trans health care costs only between $1
.4 and $4 million annually for the

actually serving 15 ,000 estimated
people.

But that's a lot of money. You know,
sir, your Viagra costs eight times as

as it costs for the health care for the
transgender veterans.

I don't use it.

Who told you that? What are you talking
about?

What are you saying?

Our enemies are at the gates.

North Korea, Iran, the press, Nambia,
Narnia,

Mordor. They're all out to get us. If
you're willing to switch your gender,

says you're not willing to switch sides?

Sir, this is beyond the pale. I did four
deployments with the Navy, one with the

Coast Guard.

Are you calling me a traitor?

No. I spent 17 years serving in the
military and earned a Purple Heart

that time. Do you think you're going to
question my integrity for our country?

No. I did two combat tours to Iraq and
one to Afghanistan.

Duh. We take an oath that says we swear
to protect and defend the people of the

United States, sir.

Stop ganging up on me, guy.

You get it, right?

No.

Definitely don't get it, sir. I served
four years in the Marine Corps infantry

with a combat tour to Afghanistan.

I may not be trans.

However, I support the trans veterans
next to me, and I definitely do not

support your ban on trans service
members.

Whoa. I put myself in harm's way so
others don't have to. I chose to serve.

What did you serve?

I'm serving now. I'm the head of the
military. I'm the toughest soldier. I

run around.

I can fight the mud and grab the rope.

Why are they laughing about the rope?

Wait a minute. They're laughing at me?

But I'm the top dog.

The big man.

I'll prove it to them.

Out in the trenches.

Welcome to hell.

me. Raise your voice!

Louder! Louder!

Let's go faster!

Faster! Let's go!

Get under the wire!

On the wire! I never watched the wire!

How are they so good at this?

What are you doing?

Get on the wall!

Lay down!

Get on your feet!

You're on the back! This is a great
wall.

This is one of the great walls.

because your teammate here obviously
does not have what it takes while these

trans soldiers and sailors and marines
have managed it just fine. Man, it's

embarrassing, isn't it? It's pretty
freaking embarrassing, isn't it?

muds up my butthole.

Isn't that funny?

I got a mud butt and there ain't nothing
I can do about it.

I taught those soldiers so much and I
thank me for my service.

We'll be right back.

My guest tonight is the founder and CEO
of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of

America. Please welcome Paul Rykoff,
everyone.

Now we're both in the military.

You served and I'm the president. So
we're like two soldiers just hanging out

with the canteen.

talking, smoking some Luckys.

So therefore, we can talk soldier to
soldier.

What does it mean to have generals
running the White House? Because it's

happening whether we want it to or not.

You know, when generals are at their
best, they can represent competency and

experience and an understanding of the
military.

It's unprecedented.

We've never had this many in these
positions of authority, but I'm hopeful

they can make a difference. I think
everybody's hopeful they can make a

difference. Do you know General Mills?

I was very familiar with him when I was
younger. Yeah, we want to try to get him

in there. Okay.

If you have so many generals who are in
the Oval Office, Is that almost a

stopgap measure against the idea of a
radical civilian control of the White

House that could put the military at
odds with the federal government?

Wow, maybe.

Fun follow -up, huh?

Well, it's important that we have
civilian control of the military. And

military ultimately works for the
American people. And we're accountable

American people. And we're not the
president's military. We're America's

military. I'm the American.

After putting very little thought into
it, I banned transgender people from the

military by tweeting about it. So what
do you think about the ban?

Tremendous or fantastic?

Absolutely wrong. Un -American.

Equality and freedom.

Equality and freedom are fundamental
American values.

And it's not just about... you know,
veterans or folks who've gotten out.

got trans troops in active duty in
harm's way right now. Right. So what

message is it sent to them and the
troops that are serving around them?

incredibly disruptive to the military.

Cohesion. No, it's actually going to
hurt cohesion because we've got trans

troops overseas right now. Okay. In Iraq
and Afghanistan. Where? They need to be

protected.

If you don't know, that worries me. They
deserve to serve. They have a right to

serve. They're serving honorably. We
have plenty of other things we need to

But wait a minute.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Everybody misunderstands me, Paul.

Yes, sir. I'm giving him a pass.

I'm saying get out. I didn't want to do
it. That's why I made up the bone spurs.

Who could have that many bone spurs?
What am I, a pterodactyl?

But the point being, I'm trying to
protect them.

Yes.

Now, let's talk about freedom of speech.

Great. You support the football players,
these football players, who are

kneeling during the national anthem, yet
you say you won't kneel yourself.

How is it possible for you to support
something but not do it?

Okay? That's not entirely correct.

That might be some fake news.

What it actually is, I support free
speech. Right. I think most Americans

support free speech. Veterans don't all
agree on this issue. Right.

Veterans don't all agree on this issue,
okay, but they agree that free speech is

something that must be protected. Even
if you don't like that they're taking a

knee, they have a right to do it. That's
what we fought for, that freedom of

speech, that freedom of expression, and
it must be protected from everyone,

including the commander -in -chief. So
I'm not going to kneel. That's my

But if Kaepernick or someone else wants
to kneel, that's their choice, and

that's part of America. That's freedom.

Kaepernick.

Kaepernick. No, Kaepernick.

People being unfair to me about
hurricane recovery.

I mean, you were in the military.

It's hard to help people, right?

Especially when there's this island with
all this water around it. How is the

military equipped to go across water?

The military is very well equipped. The
Navy is well equipped. The entire

military is very well equipped. If we
can find Osama bin Laden, we can get

and food to people in crisis.

The military has tremendous capability.

And we can be a global force for good,
as the ad says.

And it's an important part of our
diplomacy. Our veterans are a great

representation. Our military is a great
representation. And they can definitely

make a difference if they're given the
opportunity.

We found Osama bin Laden.

Ladies and gentlemen, today I'm proud to
announce that we caught Osama bin

Laden.

The long nightmare is over. And I did
it.

Oh, my God, everybody.

What a great tragedy show. I did it all.

Somber, solemn, so heartfelt.

Wow.

But we have yet to answer the most
important question.

Why? Why do these shootings keep
happening?

All right, that's it.

Because America's response to a tragedy
like this is semi -automatic.

After every mass shooting, cable news
rakes in the viewers by putting the

gruesome footage on repeat.

Americans keep buying more guns. Gun
manufacturer stocks go up. The NRA

continues to flood my Republican
brothers in arms with money.

And in return, Congress offers nothing
but meaningless thoughts.

and empty prayers.

Then cable news exploits it all again,
and everyone tunes in.

And that worked for me.

Violence is practically my brand.

I'm the one who asked for Second
Amendment people to take care of

I joked about shooting a man on Fifth
Avenue. I accepted $30 million from the

NRA for my campaign.

I can't renounce violence.

I love violence.

I am violence.

Maybe in the future, we'll have a chance
to break free from this cycle.

But if you're sick of asking why and
want to know when, now is not the time.