All language subtitles for the_president_show_s01e15_nina_turner

Ladies and gentlemen, the 45th and final
president of the United States.

Thank you, thank you.

What an incredible turnout.

First, let me just say, when you look at
the tragic events in Houston, and you

look into the faces of these people who
have lost everything, I think we can all

agree. This has been my best week yet.

I mean, look at me.

I get to talk on a truck.

Sir, we can see that's not a real truck.
Yeah, that's right, dummy. It's a fire

truck. And I got my raincoat and my hat.

Isn't it cool?

I look like I'm helping.

How can you congratulate yourself at a
time like this? I'm not congratulating

myself.

We're not going to do that until this is
all over and cleaned up in two, three

days max.

I want to ask you about North Korea. You
tweeted that talking is not the answer.

So what is? I don't know the answer, but
I do know the question.

And that question is, what is the
answer?

What does that mean? Are you kidding?
Exactly.

Next question.

Okay, do you support your party's idea
to cut $1 billion from disaster funds to

pay for your border wall? Of course. The
wall would have prevented this entire

thing. I mean, where did Harvey come
from? The Gulf of where?

Where?

Mexico. You said it, not me.

It's an illegal storm.

They're sending their worst winds, their
hardest rains.

There's some bad storm brain.

This is not real. You can't be mean to
me. I'm wearing my raincoat.

I'm a storm time president.

I'm steering the ship. I'm leading the
truck.

And that's why tonight's theme is leader
truck.

I mean, leadership.

Dude, dude, honk, honk. I'm the
president. Can you relieve it? Let's

Welcome to the show.

Later, I'll be talking to progressive
activist and former Bernie Sanders

surrogate, Nina Turner.

But now, he's the leftover water in a
bag of mozzarella.

My thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you, everybody.

Thank you so much, sir. But I have to
say, I don't eat foreign cheese.

I notice you are wearing that hat that
you've been wearing all week long. Oh.

This hat? Yeah.

You mean the one that's available for
purchase on my website?

I used the exposure I got from a natural
disaster to promote my campaign

merchandise. Can you believe that I
actually did that? Yes.

That is shameless leadership, sir.

What a kiss -ass. Mike Pence, everyone.
Thank you, sir. Here you go, Mike.

Folks.

If you really want to help get something
done, make sure to go to my website and

buy a hat for $40.

And don't go to sites like the Houston
Food Bank, one of the few big banks not

represented in my cabinet.

That's right. Or the Hurricane Harvey
Relief Fund. All they do is provide much

-needed services to those affected by
the storm.

Big whoop. I bet they don't even have
hats. Well, I'm sure they don't have

sir. And neither does DonorsChoose. Hey,
DonorsChoose, I choose the one with the

hat.

Smart move, sir.

I'm glad no one is donating large
amounts of money to these charities

I mean right now.

Now get them out of here.

Good, good, sir.

You know, sir, I have been so impressed
this week with the acts of bravery and

self -sacrifice by average Americans.

Thanks, Mike, but I'm not average.

Well, let me prove it to you in
tonight's test piece. It's time for Good

Samaritan, Great American.

Here's our first Good Samaritan. This
picture of a Harris County deputy

that has gone viral.

Deputy Robert Gerlitz is sleeping
against his desk after working around

clock. Truly impressive, don't you
think, sir? That sheriff's deputy seems

a real good Samaritan. But you want to
meet a great American? Sure. Me!

I rescue the sheriff, Sheriff Joe
Arpaio.

I rescued him from the horrors of
Maricopa County prison system. I mean,

you seen those places?

They had people sleeping outside in 130
degree weather, working on chain gangs

and being denied their basic human
rights.

Whoever was in charge there should be
put in jail.

And you know, Mike, I didn't have to
pardon them. Isn't that right? That's

right, sir. You really went below and
beyond the call of duty.

Cool, man.

Cool. Yes. Our next Good Samaritan is
actually a group of brave volunteers.

The non -profit Team Rubicon organizes
military veterans to aid in disaster

relief. The organization is working to
deploy assistance in the wake of the

storm Harvey. So proud of our military.
If you're proud of them, you'll

definitely be proud of our next great
American.

Me!

I signed an order last week banning
transgender soldiers from joining the

military. They volunteered to serve
their country, and I volunteered

to not let them. Where's my purple
heart?

Oh, right. It's here, surrounded by
chicken fat.

Do another one. Oh, of course, sir. Good
Samaritan, Barack Obama.

What? Come on, Mike. It's not Good
Samaritan, Great Kenyan. No, sir,

Sir, let me finish. You know you're just
going to be the great American at the

end of it. Who, me?

As I was saying, good Samaritan Barack
Obama for tweeting a thank you to first

responders and letting people know how
to help in the relief effort. I got to

admit it, sir, that's pretty classy.
Well, here's my first response to that.

Ugh.

I found inspiration this week in the
actions of someone you might not expect.

Oh, really, sir? Who's that?

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

I went on Twitter in the buildup to the
hurricane and reassured anxious citizens

by telling them that Mexico is
dangerous, NAFTA is terrible, and great

great guy, highly recommended.

That. how you use Twitter, Mike, to
antagonize your allies and move some

Let's keep this going. This is fun.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Good Samaritan. Dallas area companies,
they're donating everything from diapers

to airline tickets in order to help in
the relief effort.

It's good to see the business community
chipping in. Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever

you said.

I've got...

Another great American for you, Mike.
Yes, of course, sir. I know. Probably

greatest one yet. I think we know who
it's going to be. This one is a total

shocker. Is it going to be you? You're
never going to believe who it is. I

it's going to be you, sir.

It's me, me, me, me, me, me, me,

me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

I'm sorry, sir. I'm just kidding.

No, no, no. Meet me.

Thanks, Mike. We'll be right back.

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

General Kelly said I needed to act more
leader. like, whatever that

means. So I met with some etiquette
experts to prove him wrong.

Hello.

This is Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick. How
are you, Patricia? Nice to see you.

Look at you. What a honey bunny, huh?

All right, what are we doing?

We are going to cover a few social
graces, if you don't mind.

I mind all of this.

Handshakes are appropriate for most
senior government officials.

It's always best to let them take the
initiative in extending the hand for a

shake. And then you touch, look, first
you touch here, and then you go, wait,

wait, wait, and one, no, no, no, no,
one, no.

You be Kim Jong -un. All right.

Okay. Don't I go like this and then go,
ow!

No, no.

So you're going to face, heart to heart,
belly button to belly button.

Now

you're

Putin.

Hey, Blair, how are you? I love you. I
love you so much.

No, I don't think so.

So let's talk about your appearance, all
right? Your white shirts are perfect.

Your navy boots are perfect. Pure white.
Your red power color. The white race.

So I would recommend you button your top
button.

Well, that's not right.

Perfect. No, the top button and the top
hole.

I always put it in the wrong hole.

Now, let's look in the mirror. Look how
much nicer that looks.

Who's that weird guy? What a great
impression you make when you're jacked.

at that. Who's this guy?

And then when you sit down... Who is
that guy?

Who is that?

What's happening?

Who is he?

Sir, that's you.

If it's you, it's going to be okay. It's
you in the mirror.

Oh, that's perfect. Look at me. All
right, I just want to make one

recommendation. The tie should come to
the middle of your belt buckle.

Why is everybody not going to know where
the party is? Well, I think they'll

know because you've told them many
times.

Please, give me a break.

Who is that?

Just try and focus. You're the
president.

Excuse me.

Shall we dine?

Did you find South Africa on this map?

Everybody knows that.

Oh, man.

The napkin. You fold it in half.

And the open part goes toward the table.
What am I?

What am I? I'm my dad at his meetings.

Mr. President. Right.

Are you going to embarrass the United
States by not knowing how to handle

things? No, I'm going to embarrass the
United States by sidling up to neo

-Nazis.

All right. Good for you.

So, find South Africa, please.

Okay. It was South.

Is it this?

No. What is that?

That's the logo on the globe.

Waiter, get over here, you idiot. Human
garbage. Mr. President, we call the wait

staff a little finger up.

Mr. President.

How about this?

Like this?

Just a simple hand gesture.

What about, do we want saluting?

No, not this.

Can I go?

No.

That's all sides.

Black power.

The same.

All sides.

Let's practice what we learned.

Okay. You see?

And then you're ruining the steak with
ketchup.

Ruin it.

All right. This is... Sir.

That's good.

Whoa!

Who's that?

There's a ghost in here.

And he's filled with hate.

And he said,

find a way to destroy as many people as
possible.

I hate the man in the mirror.

Because he knows my secrets.

I have a recommendation.

Right? Get rid of the mirrors.

Get rid of the mirrors.

How did you get in there?

Paul! Yes, sir?

No!

No! Get out of my mind!

No!

You.

I understand.

Yes, master.

Whatever you want, master.

Total waste of time. Didn't learn a
thing.

We'll be right back.

the president of Our Revolution, an
organization which continues to fight

the progressive platform.

Please welcome Nina Turner.

I won.

Nina, what is Our Revolution? Because I
want nothing to do with it.

But we want nothing to do with you
either, Mr.

President. Wow.

No, it is a progressive grassroots
fueling the grassroots all across this

country, local, state, federal,
empowering people, giving the people

power. Okay. That's what we do.

Wow.

It's really important, especially in
light of your presidency, especially,

we remind people that the power is
actually theirs and that they can decide

represents them on the local levels of
government, the state levels of

government, and also the federal levels
of government. And 2020 is coming,

President. Yeah, I know. I know how the
calendar works.

Can the Democrats become the party of
the working class again?

And when I say working class...

I mean white people. I hope you mean the
mosaic of humanity because that's

exactly what is going to take the
rainbow coalition.

And we rise or fall together, Mr.
President. And that's something that you

to have forgotten as your campaign
pitted people against one another.

The only way you make America great
again is making it great with everybody

not picking and choosing who makes the
country great. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I agree with you in the sense that I
passed out and don't know what you just

said.

Now that we're done talking about the
Democrats, aren't I doing a great job

the hurricane?

You know, I heard a rumor. I was
watching your favorite news station,

And I heard a rumor that you were going
to donate one million dollars.

To the cause. And I'm just wondering,
was that done because Ellen has done it

and other superstars? Or did you kind of
think of that on your own? Ellen? No

way. I don't do what Ellen does. Yes.
Except for dancing.

A million dollars. Are you really going
to do it? I owe a guy named Harvey

money. And I'm paying him a million
dollars.

And everyone got it wrong.

But no. The truth is, I'm donating.

millions of dollars of other people's
money that I won't even really donate

because I just said it offhandedly
because it sounded good in the moment

ultimately I'll backtrack and then I'll
say I did it and no one will care

because the media doesn't pay attention
and has the memory of a fruit fly.

Now, I'm such a juggernaut. So what kind
of media star... In your own mind. Oh,

I'm a total juggernaut. In your own
mind.

I want to go to space.

In your mind.

What kind of media star are the
Democrats looking for in 2020?

We don't need a media star.

We need somebody with authenticity and
integrity.

Good luck. And I got somebody like that.
Matter of fact, he's higher in the

polls right now than you are. Who's
that?

His name is Senator Bernie Sanders.

Wow. Wow.

Wow.

That's... But that's Bernie. I'm Bernie.
Right now, you're not. I'm Bernie.

We're the same.

You're not the same. Bernie and I are
the same, like Joker and Batman.

Not at all. We're not the same. I made
him and he made me. Like night and day.

We have the same followers. Like night
and day. We have the same likes and

dislikes. We do not have the same
followers. He has conscious -minded

following him. I don't know who's
following you.

Wow. And he believes that the power
should be in the hands of the people.

You want to hoard all the power for
yourself. Mr. President, you're selfish

self -absorbed. I mean, you really are.
You got to get a grip.

Did I do a good job faking emotion?

You've convinced me that our revolution
is my revolution because I haven't been

paying attention.

Obviously.

So I want to give you an incredible
gift.

I have a gift for you, though. Wow,
really?

Yeah, because I want you to know how to
make America great again.

Cool. See this, Mr. President? Make
American Union again is how you make

great again.

There it is.

Lift wages, lift people, lift families.

That's it. Are you going to wear that?

I'll put a hat on a hat.

Make America Union again, yeah.

Union. The union guy just departed, I
think.

I got you this incredible Trump made in
the USA hat that's $40 on my website.

Because my grandmother taught me not to
be rude. I'm going to take it, but, you

know, rainbow mosaic makes America great
again. Oh, that says UTSA.

UTSA. UTSA make America great again.

Nina Turner, everybody!

What a great show.

The experts are calling it a once in a
thousand years event. So true.

Harvey took a lot from us. So much that
for a week we even lost our partisan

bickering and racial divisiveness.

And of course, we lost our national
obsession with me.

And that one hurt.

It hurt bad.

This was my worst week yet. And let's
face it, I'm old and in the way.

The heroes are all down there in the
water.

Harvey united the country in a way I
never could and never will.

He brought out the best in people just
as surely as I bring out the worst.

The flood is more than just water.

It's also a flood of goodwill, civic
pride, and recognition that life is

So we all must take care of one another.

And that's a storm I can't weather.

So I'm doing what any flood victim would
do.

Heading for higher ground.