All language subtitles for The.Thick.Of.It.S01e03.1080p.Web.H264-Poppycock_track3_[eng]

It seemed like slow motion.
I had time to
answer questions.

You looked the most
relaxed I've seen.

Yeah,
and did you see it when he...

Olly, did you see him
when I said your thing about,

in the opposition's case,
home is where
the heartlessness is?

- Yeah.
- He looked almost hurt,
I loved it.

He didn't even get it.

No, he got it, he flinched,
he was hating it.

- He was fiddling
with his catheter.
- Yeah.

It was a very satisfactory
report stage debate.

Only three
amendments in the committee.

How many did Doug's
piece of shit get?

(Terri) Oh, God,
at least 200 or something.

He got fist-fucked
in the Lords. It was more
amendment than Bill.

(Terri) Did you say
we'd do a press release?

Yes.

"Following a successful
report stage debate,

"Secretary of State
for Social Affairs,
Hugh Abbot, today announced,

"'I'm the fucking daddy'."

(Laughter)

There was a smarmy piece in
the Guardian,
though, did you see it?

Dan fucking Miller.

"Oh, all the work I've done
on the Standing Committee..."

Yeah, he's...
My pie is extremely large,
you may have noticed.

- (Terri) He's brilliant.
- Pie for all my friends.

Yeah,
my Jacuzzi is king-sized,

and everybody can
poke their arses
on the bubble jets.

(Terri) Was that
from something?

Dan Miller is
a junior minister

and he's not
done at all badly,
he's just a bit green.

You're turning a bit green
yourself there, Minister.

What are you saying?
Are you saying I'm
jealous of Dan...

- No, it's just a little...
- Do you know
the invisible line?

- You just stepped over it.
- Yeah, yeah.

That's the problem
with it being invisible.

Again...

- I have just
been invited to a...
- (Knock at door)

(Glenn) Just a moment...
(Olly) Danny boy!

(Terri) How lovely.
(Olly) Man of the hour.

I've been...

That is gorgeous.
Shake your little hand.

- Lovely to see you.
- Mm!

- Well done,
you did so bloody well.
- Thank you.

- You're looking well.
- It was fantastic.

Could you do GMTV
for me tomorrow?

- I would love to
do GMTV for you.
- Great.

- Dan...
- Thank you.

- Nice and early.
- I don't mind.

- Thanks, that's fantastic.
- How you feeling, good?

Well the debate did go very,
very well and the Bill is
going through, so...

- Um, I've got some
stuff I need to...
- Fine, fine. Carry on.

- I have been invited...
- How are you, Glenn?

Good, thank you. Actually,
you were very heavy-handed
with the backbenchers.

There's no need for it
in this day and age.

Listen, Glenn.

You know as well as I do,
if you're going to
make an omelette,

you're going to have to have
some frank and
honest discussion

with the eggs.

- And that's all I was doing.
- (Phone)

- Hello Malcolm.
- (Loudly) Dan. How you doing?

(Dan) How are you,
you terrier?

Listen, I'm just
calling because, erm...

You're gathering
a lot of very
influential admirers.

Oh, am I really?

You're irresistible,
you know that, don't you?
You are.

I have a sort of feeling
you're pulling my pisser.

I wouldn't pull your pisser,
pal, I know where
it's fucking been.

(Dan laughs)

Oh, hang on, listen I've got
to go, I've got Tom
on the other line.

OK, but, er, we'll talk soon.
Thanks for the DVDs,
by the way.

Oh, hey, listen, Malcolm,
before you go, can you...

Did you get bumped
for someone more important?

- He's always doing that.
- I've got to go.

I've got squash
with Pete from the Treasury.

(All) Ooh!

- Pete from the Treasury?
- He cut us
a fair bit of slack,

so I offered a game
to smooth things over.

Good luck.

- I've got
an appointment myself.
- Cool.

Yes, it's just supper
with the prime minister.

Just the two of us,
it should be fun.

Oh, that's very impressive.

No it isn't,
it's just what we do,
it's normal.

Well, enjoy that, anyway, sir.

Can you phone me
about GMTV later?

(Terri) Yes.
See you. Well done.

- Thanks. Thank you.
- Well done.

- Well done you,
well done everyone.
- Bye-bye.

(Terri) Fantastic.

I'm not complacent, Tom.

Yeah I know we
did take a hit over
the focus group thing,

but it wasn't a big hit.

Oh, yeah? Says who?

Oh the prime minister
told you that, huh?

Well, get you.

Look I can only cook
with what I've been given.

You know,
it's like Ready Steady Cook.

You give me Hugh Abbot,
I'll give you
bangers and mash.

But if you give me Gerry
from the Home Office,

well, then I can raise it to
fucking risotto and scallops,

do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, OK, OK, bye.

Sam?

Can you get me Terri Coverley
and Glenn Cullen,

make them
an appointment to come over?

I think I've got to shout
at some people now.

Oh, actually,
get me John at
Culture on the phone.

Think I'll have
a bit of a shout now.

- Is this tie all right?
- It's fine.

I don't want to come across
as some sort of...

Sales rep.

What, do I look like
a bloody sales rep?

No, no, no, no, it's fine.

What are those?
They're little hippos,
aren't they?

I don't know what
they are, actually,

I think they're
unidentified
amusing creatures.

I hate this,

being called in
for a bollocking from Tucker,

just cause he's
been twatted by the PM.

All he'll do is spread us
all over the office a bit
and then we'll be off.

Yes,
and we've got every reason
to be very happy bunnies.

Day three of the report stage
and it's all
gone like a dream.

A good dream, not one of those
ones where you can't
move your legs.

- Absolutely. Now...
- Are you sure about this tie?

It's good, it's funny.

- Funny?
- Terri...

- This is
political breakthrough.
- No...

- I don't want
laughs off my clothes.
- Not funny ha ha...

- Maybe I should
go without the tie.
- It's not a laugh, it's fine.

Fuck yes, wish me luck,
I'm going to go
without the tie.

- Right.
- I meant to ask you,

did you stay in
the flat last night?

Yeah, for about
a minute and a half.

Kate rang and Alicia had
an ear infection.

It's obviously
a life and death situation,

an infected ear. Huge crisis.

Hold the front page,
shuttle disaster.

So I had to drive 20 miles
through the night,

so that I could
be ten feet away
from Alicia's ear,

which, it turns out,
wasn't infected anyway.

And Malcolm's been on at me
about the flat,

he thinks there could be
some problems with
the Housing Bill.

You having a flat
in Notting Hill and living
within commuting distance?

It is empty quite
a lot of the time,
and with the key workers...

But, I mean, I need...
I need to have
a place in London.

Everybody else important
has got a huge fuck-off
grace and favour pad.

Why haven't I got one?

I think I can
sort this out for you
if you leave it to me.

You know,
we do what we said, yes?

- The sale, but not a sale.
- Yeah, right, whatever.

Well,
er, I'll see you later then,
we're off this way.

- OK.
- Enjoy your supper.

- Enjoy your bollocking.
- (Laughs)

For God's sake,
I'm not going to kiss him.

Evening, Minister,
if you'd step this way.

Thank you.

Excuses, excuses,
take your failure
like a man, Olly.

All right, but next time
I want a rematch

and I'm going
to take you down,
motherfucker.

- I'm gonna take you down.
- Where are you from?

Lincolnshire,
with all the windmills
and the potatoes and the shit.

(Glenn) Are they...
(Hugh) An item?

You need me to suck up to you,
as a politician.

He's made a pretty
good job of, erm...

made a pretty good job of
shagging Angela Heaney.

- He could be bi.
- A lot of them are, you know.

It's just interesting, seeing
the dynamics play
within the staff.

- There we are, look.
- He's a cheeky...

- (Hugh) He's seen us.
- See you...

I'm going
back into the office.

(Dan) The minister's ducking.

He's actually ducked.

So what time does
this Daily Mailhack get here?

- Ten minutes.
It's Angela Heaney.
- So she left the Standard?

- That's right.
- Go on,
ask me some questions.

OK, I'll be Angela
and ask you some questions...

My God, that's uncanny.

Mind you,
your tits are
a bit bigger than hers.

Is it true that

although this Housing Bill
went through Parliament

with incredible ease...

Actually, can you
just do it as yourself?

Sorry, it's just
slightly unsettling.

Right, erm... That you'll find
a lot of difficulty
in the real world...

On the contrary, this Bill
is going to do an
extraordinary amount of good

for an extraordinarily
large number of people.

Ordinary people,

but ordinary people
who deserve a bit of the
extraordinary in their lives.

(Laughs) Perfect,
that's brilliant.

- It's a piece of piss.
- There you are, you see.

Go on ask me something hard.

Where's the Nazi gold,
you donkey shagger?

I'm very pleased you
asked that, Angela,
because let me just say

that this Bill is going to do
an extraordinary
amount of good...

(Dan) I'm not gonna...

- Oh, hello.
- You've
showered off, have you?

- Good morning.
Showered off, yes.
- Yes, thanks, Glenn.

- Have you been playing...
- An early morning
game of squash, yeah.

Very good, I love...
Squash is a fabulous game.

- Do you play?
- A lot of luck...

- I don't any more,
I used to play...
- What, club level?

- Yeah.
- Were you on a ladder?

No.

- Anyway...
- Time for us to go
and meet Angela now.

Thanks. I hope she doesn't
bounce me off the walls.

Anyway, great to
have talked to
you guys, and...

Did you know Angela
was in the building?

Er, yes.

Will she be jealous?

Hi, Tom.
What can we do for you?

Well, I didn't know
what he was
doing with his flat.

I told him,
that fucking flat...

Well, they're not
running with this?

No, well,
I know he's got an interview
now with that Angela Heaney,

you know, that twat bubble
from the Standard.

Fuck,
she's just gone to the Mail.

I'm onto it.

I wish you'd ask me
a bit more about the Bill

because it is
an extraordinary triumph.

- I am asking
you about the Bill.
- Good, good.

Specifically about the
empty house
management orders...

How do they square with
the fact that you have
a second empty property

- that you won't sell?
- It's not technically empty.

I would have stayed there
recently, but my daughter
was seriously ill.

- I've spoken to an Asian...
- She's seven.

I've spoken to an Asian family

who say they've put in
four separate
offers on your flat,

had them all rejected
with no explanation.

Right, OK.

Get out of the way.

- Is it because they're Asian?
- No. No, God, no.

- Where is he?
- (Man) The goldfish bowl.

Fuck!

No, no, I'm very glad
you brought that up,

because that...that gives me
the opportunity to...

Sorry...I...

Er...just mucking about.
Erm...

I have always
maintained very clearly...

Hi, Angela.
Sorry, can I just borrow
the minister for one moment?

Sure. Sorry,
be right back with you.

Why the fuck
didn't you tell me
it was with that stupid cunt?

How am I supposed to control
what's going on

if I do not know
what the fuck is going on?

You're a fucking prick!

Angela, can I get you
a fresh cup of coffee?

- No, I'm fine thanks.
- Um, would you like some tea?

- Nope, nope.
- ..the fuck...

- No biscuits or anything?
- No.

Do let me know
if you need anything else.

I will. Thanks very much.

Get back in there
and wrap this bullshit up.

Ah. Hah!

- Bit of a disagreement.
- Blimey.

Yeah. Erm...could you...
I'm just curious,
could you hear?

Because we were actually...
We can be quite
brutal to each other,

because we're actually
very, very good friends.

Right.

- You haven't
accepted any offers?
- No!

- Jesus.
- That wasn't the point.

The whole deal was, we put
the flat on the market so
if the press ask,

we say,
"Fuck off, he's selling it,"

they go away
and Hugh has a place in town.

Why is your girlfriend
hitting us with this?

She's not my girlfriend,
so I've no idea.

You won't mind if
I kill her, then,
will you?

It'd solve a lot
of issues for me.

Hey, hey,

if you could sweet-talk that
sour-faced bitch
into dropping it...

If I could talk
that sour-faced bitch
into anything,

I would have had
a better four months.

I'll just have to kill
the both of you then.

Yeah, well.

That's a joke, by the way,
not a very nice one,

which masks a lot
of negative feelings
about this fucking department.

- (Phone)
- Oh, Jesus.

Tom Davies. Tom?
Hello, how are you? Yes.

No, he was already there when
I got there,
he was talking to her.

What is happening?
What the hell was that?

That was supposed to be
a nice interview.

What on earth
did you say to her?

I think I denied
being a racist.
I hope so.

You didn't say you have
lots of black friends...

Of course not.
Well, I haven't got any.

- What did you say
about the offers?
- I said I wasn't...

someone else was
handling the sale and I wasn't
aware of any offers.

Hugh?

Did you mention me by name?

Erm, possibly...
I don't think...

I may,
in between denying racism,
possibly have, yes.

Thank you,
thank you very much,
thanks a fucking bunch.

- OK.
- OK, so what's
the line on this then?

I don't know,
what is the line on this?

Jesus!

- I don't know,
don't look at me.
- We need a line on this.

- OK, we got movement,
we got a break.
- What? What? What?

- The flat's sold...
- What?

To the Asian family,
for 40 grand below
the asking price.

- But it's OK.
- What is it?

- Malcolm?
- Yeah?

- We're too late.
- What?

All the papers have
got it, the Express
has been making offers on it,

at the asking price
and also £30,000 more,

Jesus.

- Haven't been accepted.
- We've got to stall.

This is madness,
I just own a flat,
I haven't raped somebody.

Yeah. They're calling
the scandal Flatgate.

Scandal?

That's crap.
It's a crap
name for a scandal.

They should call it
Notting Hill Gate-gate.

Can we at least
stop calling it a scandal?

Yeah.

Are you joking?
Are you joking, now?

- On my way to stall.
- Yeah, get stalling.

Ohh.

Maybe we can just
blame it all on Terri.

That is an option, isn't it?

- It's a flat.
- It is a second home.

In a borough with
thousands of homeless people,

which you have
kept empty for ages.

Have you not read
your own Housing Bill?

I only kept it
empty for a little while
to see my bloody family.

Obviously, on reflection,
I should have filled it with
prostitutes and rent boys

and crack cocaine
pimp tattoo freaks.

Thanks to Dan
Miller and his like,
the Housing Bill is a success,

but this is
burying the whole thing.

Well, what do you
want me to do? Resign?

No, no, no, that is...
I'm not going over this.

The way out of
this is for you to...

This is madness,
this desire for perfection.

I am not perfect,
I am just a person, right,

I need to sleep, I need
to eat, occasionally I
need to take a dump.

So what's next?

Do we put that on
the evening news,
on the front page?

"Minister In Disgusting
Defecation Outburst?"

Morris Tempton at Number Ten.
"Enjoy your shit, Mr Abbot?"

They should just
clone ministers,
so we're born at 55

with no past
and no flats and no genitals.

Just a world of
robots in a sort of...

It's like a futuristic film,
and you'd enjoy that,

you'd be in your little
space station surrounded by
obedient androids,

like that fucking
brushed aluminium
Dan Miller cyberprick.

It is possible
to have a good resignation,
you know?

A good resignation?

Oh, I'm looking forward
to how you're going
to sell this to me.

Look, people really like it
when you go just a bit early,

you know, steely-jawed,
faraway look in your eyes,

before they get to sitting
round in pubs saying "That
fucker's got to go."

You surprise them.
"Blimey, he's gone,
I didn't expect that.

"Resigned?
You don't see
that much any more.

"Old school, respect,
I rather liked the guy,

"he was hounded out
by the fucking press."

How about that, huh?

What a way to go, yeah?

It's probably going to be...
it's going to be Hugh that
has to go this time.

Yeah. (Laughs)

Yeah, it is,
it's very sad, very sad.

OK, Tom,
yes, indeed, yes, indeed.

Er, two minutes. Two minutes.

That's Tom,
he's finishing with
the prime minister.

I'm going to go and join him.

- You might as well stay here.
- Yeah.

- I'll try and make it quick.
- Sure it wouldn't
help if I went in?

No, no, I mean
we're going to be
talking about you.

- It would be awkward, yes?
- Yeah.

- Very awkward.
- Yup.

You just relax,
help yourself to
a paper or something.

It'll be fine in the end,
we'll just get another doomed
middle-aged man in

on Monday morning,
come through
the door, stride about a bit,

spunk off
and I'll have to
mop up the mess.

It'll be business as usual.

The whole heat could come out
of this situation if I went.

It's not come to
any kind of
resignation yet, surely?

Do you know
what pisses me off?

After 37 years,
without a moment's thought,

he's prepared to
drop me right in it.

He just panicked.
If anyone's going
to resign, I should.

No, no, that's decent of you,
but I'll go.

You should stay, you know,

any fucker can
sit at the end of
a corridor behind a pot plant.

But you're the man
who stands behind his desk
making sure the pen works.

So maybe you should go? Yeah.

- Now, hang on.
- Yeah, you've convinced me.

I think it would be better.

No, I'm just saying,
in the scheme of things.

- I'm not saying I should go.
- You just said you should.

- I'm talking academically.
- You said...
That wasn't academic talk.

- It absolutely was academic.
- It wasn't.

- I'll write it down...
- That's real virtual talk.

I'm having
an academic discussion.

No. I'm having
a real discussion with you.

- We can reset for
a real discussion...
- Resign now,

and I'll put
the letter on Hugh's desk.

Well I could very easily
say the same thing. I...

- I'm not doing that.
- Why the fuck not?

Hugh's my friend.
I won't do that for him.

I'll stay and
stand behind him.

I'm just the counter man
in McDonald's. You're
the clown running the shop.

You're the one
who they want to see

strung up from a lamppost
by his fucking wig.

- What does that make me?
- Ronald McDonald.

Well, fuck off.

- I'm not going, mate.
- No, neither am I.

So, what did the PM say?

There's going
to be an inquiry.

(Sighs)

Oh, yes, oh, yes.

- Thank you,
you're a fucking star.
- No problem.

Sam. Yeah, of course.

Hugh, Hugh.
It's the prime minister.
Could you...

Whoo!

(Sighs)

- Mmm.
- Hello.

Oh! Hello.

- Is everything
all right, Minister?
- Mmm.

These weren't
special biscuits,
were they?

No, no.

- Good.
- How are you?

Well I've been
better to be honest,

but there's going
to be an inquiry so,
fingers crossed.

- Right, well we're
all rooting for you.
- Oh! Thank you very much.

Can I get you a chair?
Would you like to sit down?

- Yes, please.
- OK.

- By the biscuits.
- Thank you.

All right?

Erm, can I get you
some more biscuits
or a coffee?

- Yes, please.
- OK.

(Phone)

- Olly Reeder.
- What?

- Put me on the speakerphone.
- It's the minister.

- They're going
to have an inquiry.
- Where are you?

I'm still at Number Ten,
they're going to
have an inquiry.

- Yes!
- Great.

Who are they going to have?

I don't know, I don't know
whether we get any say in it.

But, I mean,
Lord Hibbert's very nice.

I was with him
at the FA Cup
semifinal last year

and we were both trying
to make out we had a clue
what was going on.

We've talked before about
the ideal person
to head an inquiry.

It was a tie between
Eamonn Holmes and Alan Benett.

(Glenn) I tell
you who'd be good,
Lord Monckton.

- Lord Monckton?
- (Glenn) Yeah.

Oh, Lord Monckton certainly
is in the frame
here at Number Ten.

- (Glenn) Uh-huh?
- Yeah.
I'm with the PM's people now.

- Hugh?
- Oh,
Malcolm's just joined us.

Right Hugh, good news.

The PM's approaching the Right
Honourable Lord
Monckton of Cheshunt

to head the inquiry.

- Good, it is Monckton.
- (Glenn) Yes! Hugh!

All right, fuck off.
We've got a department to run.

- Thanks, Malcolm.
- Yeah, yeah.

Thanks, yeah.

Look at this one.
"PM Just Can't
Kick The Abbot."

Dreadful picture.
You look like a sales rep.

They've Photoshopped that.

Surprising they haven't got
anything better to write
about after, what?

Four, five days now?

Until Monckton reports,
they're going to stay on this.
They want blood.

- (Phone)
- Oh, hang on.

Good morning, Malcolm.

I want you, Terri and Olly
over here right now.

Not Hugh,
do not bring Hugh
to Downing Street.

- Put him on for
me for a minute.
- Yes, hang on.

It's Malcolm.
He wants to speak to you.

Go on.

Right Hugh,
I've seen Monckton's report.
It's not good.

OK.

He's talked to that driver
you got rid of.

Oh my God. I never liked him,
I told Glenn I
didn't liked him.

The driver.
He was a smirky bastard.

He told them he
heard you and Glenn

talking about putting
your flat on the market

but not accepting any offers.

In passing,
it was just mentioned
in passing, just words.

It's not as though we were
plotting like Guy Fawkes,

concocting our evil
master plan to not sell
a two-bedroom flat.

I didn't know
Glenn had gone ahead.

I'm just tired, Malcolm,
is that a crime now?
Feeling shattered?

That is not going
to be the headline,

the headline is going to be,
you have lied.

Right, look, I want your guys
over here, but not you,
understand? Not you.

Would it help if I was there?
Or will you all be
talking about me?

We'll all be
talking about you.

Right, I'll ring for a cab.
It's quicker than calling one
of the cars up. OK?

- (All) OK.
- Right, well let's get going.

- Yeah.
- Ah, Hugh, bye.

- OK. Yep.
- Yep. See you later.

- OK.
- Probably, anyway.

(Hugh whistles)

Hugh. I mean,
with the other two, it's just
another day, isn't it?

- I know, I know.
- I want you to
know I'm on your side.

You know? I wouldn't...

- We'll ride again.
- OK.

Department of Social Affairs.

Department of fucking,
shocking,
shitty, charlatan shits.

That's what...
Feet off the furniture,
you Oxbridge twat.

You're not in a punt now.

Yeah.

Yes! I am king
of remembering
my own password.

- (Knock at door)
- Yep?

- Hello, Dan.
- Hi Hugh.
Is Olly about? I need him...

No, he's with Tucker.
Well, they all are.

Is something up?

No,
they're just talking about...

A directive came from
one of the think-tanks

about how
the press secretaries

should minute meetings
with lobbyists and, erm...

Right.

So they're just talking about
how fucked I am.

Oh, the report?

Yeah. It's like Monkton
sat in front of
the word processor

and let the righteous anger
of the independent
judiciary flow out.

It's such
a something and nothing issue
to get crucified over.

- Isn't it?
- It's just a flat.

Precisely, just because
I'm not some brushed aluminium
cyberprick like, er...

- Like, er...
- Like Olly.

Yeah. But, anyway,

- I've missed my
ideal resigning point.
- Yes.

With every day I delay,

it's another year
before I can get back again.

Mm.

If I had resigned
the day I was appointed,

I'd actually be
prime minister by now.

The line is
that we don't throw
a good man out to the wolves

over one single
little fuck-up.

- So Hugh's staying?
- Yeah.

- We tell
the wolves to fuck off.
- Not exactly.

They need a blood sacrifice.

Indeed they do,
they want a head on a plate.

We've got to give them head,
is that what you're saying?

You're clever aren't you?
Very, very clever.

How much does your head weigh?
I don't know. Eight pounds?

Maybe more.

Mm.

It's not my head.
I've only got half a head.

I'm a half-head.

- One of you's got to decide.
- Jesus Christ.

Which of you will
do the decent thing?

We've been through this.
Apparently I'm
Ronald fucking McDonald.

Hang on,
why are you not
included in this?

Why is it one of us two?

If I've got to resign,
then you've got to resign.

- "If I've got to resign..."
- I answer to you
on matters of policy.

In which case, he's got to go,
because I answer to him.

- So we've all
got to go now, eh?
- Well, I am going nowhere.

I didn't do anything,
I did nothing.

- I am as clean as a whistle.
- Oh, Terri, grow up.

Don't give me that
pile of fucking bollocks.

Just because you're
a civil servant, don't think
your shit doesn't smell.

- I know things about you.
- What?

- What do you know?
- Yeah, we know things.

- Oh, knob off.
You know bugger all.
- (Terri) What?

All you know is how to suck up
to the new kid on the block.

(Camply) "Oooh,
what a lovely backhand."

Fuck off.

- "Oooh,
my stroke is so hard."
- You're so fucking repressed!

- I was just playing squash.
- Glenn, what do you know?

- What do you think you know?
- I know.

- What is it?
- I'm going to
go and see Tucker.

- I'm going to resign.
- You don't need to.

- Yeah, I know.
- Then don't, Hugh.

No, I've been thinking,
it will be very, very good.

The report isn't out
for three days and, er...I can
leave before it with dignity.

I'll be seen as
an honourable man.

I'll be in government
in two years with a clean
slate and a fresh tie.

And I'll be shot of
this fucking department.

It takes four days
to get a memo through.

Social Affairs. What the fuck
does that actually mean?
It's so vague.

You know, "Hello, I'm
Hugh Abbot, the Minister for,
I don't know, stuff."

Look at these
civil servants here.

You wouldn't get these dweebs
at the Foreign Office.

This place is packed to
the gills with dreck...

No offence.

Well I accept that.

On behalf of the PM,
I accept your resignation.

As you've worked out,
it's probably for the best.

- Can I help?
- Just going to see Mr Tucker.

- He has someone with him.
- It won't take
long and it's urgent.

- I'm sorry,
you'll have to wait.
- Right.

- (Sighs)
- Can I get you a biscuit?

No, thank you.

You won't regret this, Dan.
Trust me, you won't.

- Yeah, let's hope not.
- (Laughs)

- Hey, you must be gutted.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- Hi.
- Dan.

- Oh, you're
seeing Malcolm, are you?
- Yep.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Susan.
That was fine.

Malcolm, I've made a decision.

Do you know,
what I said about memos
in the department,

I mean, that's sortable,
we can just sort it,

you know,
it's just an admin thing...

- Don't worry, we understand.
- (Glenn) No one's...

- Lovely new memo
on urban renewal.
- Oh, good.

You see, here's a memo
and it's only taken
me a day to get...

to get to me,
so things are
looking up already.

Dan really did himself
some favours there, you know.

Would you like to hear
what our leader thinks?

This is the PM's reply
to his resignation letter.

"You are
a dazzlingly bright, talented,

"committed and
honourable new force
in British politics.

"I am immensely
sorry to lose you,

"but I predict you will
one day find yourself in very
high office indeed."

Well that's just easy, though.

Resigning's just...
that's cheap and lazy.

(Glenn) Yeah.

(Terri) He's
a little shit anyway,
Dan Miller.

(Olly) I never liked him.

I never liked him,
I never ever liked him.

(Olly) It's
really late, let's...

- Come on Glenn,
time to go home.
- (Glenn) Coming.

(Hugh) I thought Dan was good.

(Olly) See you.
(Terri) Night.

(Glenn) Good night, Hugh.

(Glenn) Oh, God.

(Sighs)

Actually, can I stay
on your sofa tonight?

- Yep.
- Thanks.

Take your time,
I'll wait for you, then.

(Glenn sighs)