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Let go, let go.
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This is Dateline: Springfield.
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From a distance, the Simpsons
were the perfect family.
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Homer and Marge were
high school sweethearts.
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She saved me from a dateless prom.
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He saved me from a life with my sisters.
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Those two are monsters.
Cut to them, you'll see.
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What are you filming us for?
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Marge and Homer raised their three kids
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in an atmosphere of love, laughter
and crushing economic anxiety.
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The only thing they
needed was each other.
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When I first met the Simpsons, in 1947,
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they were building affordable
homes in Pennsylvania.
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Little Maggie was going to
be the next Lindbergh baby.
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But John Foster Dulles had other ideas.
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Don't interview Grampa.
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He almost made Ken
Burns quit the business.
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That pompous old fool
was more boring than baseball.
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Little did the Simpsons suspect
that their American dream
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was about to be flipped upside
down by the spatula of crime.
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Home to a nuclear power
plant and an active volcano,
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Springfield seemed like the
safest place in the world.
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But that tranquility was
about to be shattered,
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00:02:02,019 --> 00:02:05,995
in a mysterious crime that would
tear the Simpson family apart.
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00:02:06,114 --> 00:02:09,050
Tear us apart? Nothing
can tear us apart.
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00:02:09,449 --> 00:02:10,769
Tear us apart.
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00:02:11,004 --> 00:02:14,699
- Mom, stop saying "tear us apart."
- It's tearing us apart!
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Who wants mac and cheese?
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Our conscienceless reenactment
begins as Marge and Lisa
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return home from a trip to the market.
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Whatever we didn't spend, I'd donate
to Lisa's secret college fund.
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We hid it in the last place the
men in this family would look.
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A jar of cleanser.
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What happened next was one of
those life‐changing moments
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00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:39,112
that always seem to
happen under the sink.
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The entire college fund,
$670.42, was gone.
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00:02:44,645 --> 00:02:48,512
And just like that, Lisa's dream
of going to college for three weeks,
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without a food plan, was over.
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For any parent of young children,
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the thing you dread most is
losing a can full of money.
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00:02:56,787 --> 00:02:59,529
911 dispatch. State the
nature of your emergency.
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There's been a robbery! Send
help! 742 Evergreen Terrace.
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It wouldn't hurt you to say "please."
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It's an emergency! You
don't have to say "please."
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Sounds like what's been
stolen are your manners.
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Please!
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Help is on the way. You're welcome.
48
00:03:15,148 --> 00:03:18,827
Can I get your name, please?
And your supervisor?
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If I may?
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00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:24,019
Help is no longer on the way.
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00:03:24,044 --> 00:03:25,066
Jerk.
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00:03:26,332 --> 00:03:27,746
Uh, Chief, you found something?
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00:03:28,144 --> 00:03:31,887
Zero evidence of Pringles, so...
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So we were back at square one.
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It was not your typical break‐in.
No sign of forced entry.
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00:03:38,049 --> 00:03:39,497
I mean, the dog didn't even bark.
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00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:44,404
Somebody knew exactly
where to rub him. The tummy.
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00:03:46,279 --> 00:03:49,076
A police reenactment confirmed
the chief's theory.
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00:03:49,292 --> 00:03:53,330
Oh, oh, God, that's great.
Oh, there's no way I'm barking.
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00:03:53,427 --> 00:03:55,916
Oh, Lou, you got to
teach my wife to do this.
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With zero evidence of a break‐in,
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police suspicion turned to the family.
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00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:03,420
This just didn't pass what
cops call "the smell test."
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00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:05,795
I've watched a lot of
cop shows in my day.
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00:04:05,923 --> 00:04:08,899
I consider myself something
of an amateur policeman.
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00:04:09,324 --> 00:04:13,824
Let me just stop this documentary,
or "doc," here and now!
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00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,993
We are good people.
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We do not steal.
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That's borrowing.
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Borrowing. Borr‐ow‐ing.
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00:04:25,937 --> 00:04:29,941
And so this nuclear family
began to explode,
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00:04:29,966 --> 00:04:32,600
as suspicion focused on one man.
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00:04:32,694 --> 00:04:36,163
Oh, what about the important
clue the police missed?
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00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,850
Somebody set a drink down
here without a coaster.
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00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:40,921
That had to be a stranger.
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This is an expensive table,
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and my family knows I
don't want it stained.
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D'oh...
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Springfield detectives made a
desperate plea to the public for help.
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00:04:53,504 --> 00:04:54,964
They didn't have to wait long.
81
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:59,821
Nelson came to school today
with a salon‐quality haircut.
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00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:02,308
His family doesn't even
have money for milk.
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00:05:02,455 --> 00:05:04,603
He eats cereal with rain water.
84
00:05:05,258 --> 00:05:07,182
Mr. Teeny stole the money,
85
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like he steals all my scenes.
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I swear it on my very bone.
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00:05:11,947 --> 00:05:14,369
Sincerely, anonymous caller.
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But just as you're about
to give up after two calls,
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you hit pay dirt.
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00:05:19,788 --> 00:05:21,934
I would like to accuse Marge Simpson
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00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:24,522
of stealing that money to
feed her gambling habit.
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She told my husband, the minister,
that she was an addict.
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In confidence, but, you know.
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Marge Simpson. This suburban mother with
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Olive Oyl good looks had kicked
her gambling habit years ago.
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Or had she?
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I admit it. I couldn't
resist the temptation.
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00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:46,983
But then I did.
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Marge walked out of the
casino and off the suspect list.
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Shockingly, the mystery
would not be solved
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00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,562
in the first five minutes of the show.
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With Marge's name cleared,
the police moved
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00:05:57,345 --> 00:06:00,469
to the next suspect on
their list, Homer Simpson.
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Homer's bar tab was
spiraling out of control.
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Five, six hundred bucks.
106
00:06:04,811 --> 00:06:06,649
That night, Moe cut him off.
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Yeah, our theory was that Homer
came home wasted, he fell,
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he shimmied and he found the
money under the sink there,
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and he figured he'd just
use it to pay his tab.
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Well it's indisputable that
Homer visited the kitchen
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before going to bed. You see,
we found spaghetti sauce splatter
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consistent with a very
violent late‐night snack.
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00:06:35,488 --> 00:06:39,588
This is, ah, this is not
a flayvin situation.
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Although, I still am compelled
to say flayvin.
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Sauce on the walls, the
ceiling, under Homer's fingernails.
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That pasta fought hard for its life.
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What that man did to those leftovers...
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I'm sorry, I‐I can't continue.
119
00:06:54,577 --> 00:06:57,421
But if the kitchen had been
a tomato‐soaked abattoir
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00:06:57,446 --> 00:07:00,616
that night, why had no one
noticed in the morning?
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00:07:01,285 --> 00:07:02,296
Hmm.
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He cleaned up the
kitchen after stuffing
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00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:05,585
all the money into his pocket,
124
00:07:05,610 --> 00:07:08,013
so we just had to get those pants.
125
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Fortunately, a simple
sting did the trick.
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Ooh, Super Bowl in July!
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No money in these pants.
128
00:07:22,855 --> 00:07:26,445
All we find is candy‐coated
peanuts, popcorn and a prize.
129
00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:28,742
Now, that's some Cracker
Jack detective work.
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Get it? Cracker Jack?
131
00:07:31,665 --> 00:07:34,860
Yeah. Yeah. But as for evidence,
we, uh, we got nothing.
132
00:07:35,123 --> 00:07:38,889
With Homer still the prime suspect,
and the investigation stalled,
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Deadline: Springfield
was in dire straits.
134
00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:45,242
The show desperately needed a
cliffhanger commercial break.
135
00:07:45,276 --> 00:07:50,526
What if the real criminal mastermind
was billionaire Montgomery Burns?
136
00:07:50,812 --> 00:07:54,616
Why would I steal $600?
That's nothing to me.
137
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This is what rich is. Smithers,
bring me some more money.
138
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:02,202
Need more convincing?
139
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No. We'll be right back.
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00:08:08,025 --> 00:08:10,024
Police returned to their first theory:
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00:08:10,258 --> 00:08:11,782
could Homer Simpson have done it?
142
00:08:12,181 --> 00:08:15,970
Oh, definitely. Hey, you're gonna
distort my voice for this, right?
143
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,901
'Cause I don't want no one knowing
that this is Moe Szyslak here.
144
00:08:19,038 --> 00:08:20,659
Oh, and cut the name, too, yeah?
145
00:08:20,847 --> 00:08:24,549
As Moe Szyslak said, Homer
was definitely a suspect.
146
00:08:25,079 --> 00:08:28,082
It was pretty clear, Chief liked
Homer Simpson for this case.
147
00:08:28,328 --> 00:08:32,034
Well, geez, Lou, I wouldn't
say that I liked‐liked him.
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00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:34,605
I just, uh... why, did he
say something about me?
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00:08:34,692 --> 00:08:36,727
I mean you thought he
was a person of interest.
150
00:08:36,961 --> 00:08:39,953
Shut up. I can find someone interesting
151
00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:43,642
without being interest‐ed
in them. Shut up.
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00:08:43,888 --> 00:08:46,645
Yeah, but then new evidence came
in that apparently cleared Homer.
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00:08:46,836 --> 00:08:49,911
Phone records showed a six‐hour
call from Homer's phone
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to a third party on
the night of the crime.
155
00:08:52,134 --> 00:08:54,848
The DNA revealed that
it was a butt dial.
156
00:08:54,966 --> 00:08:57,145
Yeah, and not just to someone
on his speed dial list.
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Uh‐uh. His dexterous cheeks
dialed all ten digits.
158
00:09:03,556 --> 00:09:06,036
Disco Stu is unavailable for you.
159
00:09:06,303 --> 00:09:08,501
At the beep, you know what to do.
160
00:09:08,787 --> 00:09:11,251
When police played back Homer's message,
161
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it revealed a horrifying truth.
162
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Homer didn't scrub the spaghetti
sauce off that kitchen with cleanser.
163
00:09:17,648 --> 00:09:20,437
The sick bastard licked
those walls clean.
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00:09:25,623 --> 00:09:26,791
He had a little help.
165
00:09:33,579 --> 00:09:36,882
My first thought was to
delete the message, sure,
166
00:09:36,907 --> 00:09:40,845
but then I started grooving
to that slurping safari.
167
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,659
I hadn't heard any other
music than disco in so long.
168
00:09:44,921 --> 00:09:49,484
Sometimes, a persona can just...
it becomes a trap, you know?
169
00:09:49,581 --> 00:09:53,437
I knew it couldn't be Homer.
Every Simpson is innocent.
170
00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:54,703
Until proven guilty.
171
00:09:54,756 --> 00:09:56,539
No. Just innocent.
172
00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:59,765
What are you doing? Stop
panning across the family.
173
00:09:59,853 --> 00:10:01,023
They didn't do it.
174
00:10:01,546 --> 00:10:03,500
Finally. I've been expecting you.
175
00:10:06,944 --> 00:10:09,781
Like any normal healthy boy,
Bart has been the focus
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of numerous police investigations.
177
00:10:12,215 --> 00:10:14,684
But a mother knows when
her son is innocent.
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00:10:14,798 --> 00:10:16,399
And when she's kidding herself,
179
00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:18,393
and when she's turning a blind eye.
180
00:10:18,609 --> 00:10:20,086
This time he's innocent.
181
00:10:20,209 --> 00:10:21,586
Just ask his friends.
182
00:10:22,092 --> 00:10:25,131
‐ State your name for the record.
‐ Bart Simpson took the money.
183
00:10:25,263 --> 00:10:27,467
I admit I knew about
the money under the sink,
184
00:10:27,656 --> 00:10:30,349
but whatever I borrowed,
I always put back.
185
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:32,431
Also, $600?
186
00:10:32,584 --> 00:10:35,482
What would a ten‐year‐old
boy do with that much money?
187
00:10:35,617 --> 00:10:37,928
Slime. Bart was buying slime.
188
00:10:38,164 --> 00:10:40,466
I've never seen such
a cooperative witness.
189
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:43,115
I brought extra batteries
for your tape recorder, too.
190
00:10:43,369 --> 00:10:49,095
Slime. The gooey, harmless plaything
wildly popular with kids today.
191
00:10:50,904 --> 00:10:55,454
I'd seen all the fads: yo‐yos,
pogs, Pokémon, crunking,
192
00:10:55,635 --> 00:10:57,947
the short stories of John Cheever.
193
00:10:58,061 --> 00:10:59,923
But this beat them all.
194
00:11:33,336 --> 00:11:36,138
My plan was, if I owned all
the slime, I'd set the price,
195
00:11:36,327 --> 00:11:38,404
except that's when the bottom fell out.
196
00:11:45,209 --> 00:11:47,144
Lucky for me, there
was one gullible schlub
197
00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:49,104
who didn't realize the craze was over.
198
00:11:49,197 --> 00:11:51,065
I sold my entire stash to him.
199
00:11:52,039 --> 00:11:55,953
I have not agreed to be in
your documentary. Please go.
200
00:11:56,947 --> 00:11:59,049
So I put the money back I had borrowed
201
00:11:59,074 --> 00:12:01,328
from under the sink, and I filmed it
202
00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,437
because I knew no one would believe me.
203
00:12:03,586 --> 00:12:05,711
So that's everyone
in the Simpson family,
204
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:08,851
except for Lisa, of course.
It couldn't be her, right?
205
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:11,500
Nah. Well, let's look at the...
206
00:12:11,525 --> 00:12:13,026
Oh, for God's sake.
207
00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:15,873
I asked Lisa where she was
when the money was stolen
208
00:12:15,898 --> 00:12:20,367
and she said, "Chillin'. You
know, maxin' and relaxin'."
209
00:12:20,392 --> 00:12:23,000
Now these are the words
of a very cool person,
210
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,693
but Lisa Simpson is
not even a little cool.
211
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,242
So... huh.
212
00:12:27,687 --> 00:12:29,088
Oh, come on.
213
00:12:29,241 --> 00:12:32,961
No one, I repeat no one, would
believe Lisa could do it.
214
00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:36,319
But she's also a girl who
wants a new saxophone.
215
00:12:36,502 --> 00:12:37,616
I'm just saying.
216
00:12:41,691 --> 00:12:43,626
I've been Lisa's supplier for years.
217
00:12:43,756 --> 00:12:45,859
Reeds, wipes, valve grease.
218
00:12:46,036 --> 00:12:48,138
Would she commit a crime over a new sax?
219
00:12:48,705 --> 00:12:51,195
Did Dave Brubeck compose in 9/8 time?
220
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,359
He did. We'll count it out together.
221
00:13:07,893 --> 00:13:09,627
Go ahead, give it a spin.
222
00:13:28,618 --> 00:13:31,556
Oh, it's the best bari
sax on the market,
223
00:13:31,581 --> 00:13:34,595
a Smoothphone Jazzhonker
in black nickel.
224
00:13:34,677 --> 00:13:37,931
But I wouldn't steal for it.
225
00:13:38,237 --> 00:13:40,017
When we come back, Lisa did it.
226
00:13:40,227 --> 00:13:43,164
‐ No, I didn't.
‐ Lisa, it's your bedtime.
227
00:13:43,419 --> 00:13:46,375
I got to go. My mom's reading
me Harry Potter book four.
228
00:13:46,488 --> 00:13:48,636
Oh, yeah, the one
where Cedric Diggory dies?
229
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:50,237
- You suck.
- You did it!
230
00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:52,606
No, you did it, jerk.
231
00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:57,286
Okay, okay. Time's up.
232
00:13:58,567 --> 00:14:01,953
The reed's mine.
233
00:14:02,081 --> 00:14:04,674
You can't spell greed without reed.
234
00:14:04,699 --> 00:14:05,699
Check it out.
235
00:14:09,252 --> 00:14:11,729
Why did we agree to do this documentary?
236
00:14:11,971 --> 00:14:13,940
Because all our biggest stars today
237
00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:15,967
come from true crime documentaries:
238
00:14:16,207 --> 00:14:20,574
The Jinx, Making a Murderer,
and Matt Lauer on the Today Show.
239
00:14:20,653 --> 00:14:23,690
It turns out Lisa did not
buy the new saxophone.
240
00:14:24,282 --> 00:14:25,293
Someone else did.
241
00:14:25,541 --> 00:14:28,377
I've always wanted to play bari sax,
242
00:14:28,578 --> 00:14:31,027
but my father insisted on tenor.
243
00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:35,027
In you go.
244
00:14:38,161 --> 00:14:41,473
‐ What do you think of this?
‐ You're still a disappointment.
245
00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:45,258
But if Lisa was innocent,
246
00:14:45,465 --> 00:14:48,735
why was she so reluctant
to explain her whereabouts
247
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,071
at the time of the crime?
248
00:14:50,312 --> 00:14:54,024
Shut up about my Lisa! I
can tell you where she was.
249
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,404
‐ She was...
‐ Uh, bup, bup, bup, bup!
250
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,348
Mom! Mom! No! Err!
251
00:14:57,524 --> 00:14:59,551
Apparently, some of the
girls at school were...
252
00:14:59,576 --> 00:15:02,612
Let's just say I stole the money,
okay? End of documentary.
253
00:15:02,637 --> 00:15:04,457
See you at the
Independent Spirit Awards.
254
00:15:04,781 --> 00:15:06,918
I took her to her hopscotch tutor.
255
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:09,339
I was hanging on by a thread,
256
00:15:09,506 --> 00:15:11,776
and now the whole world will joke about
257
00:15:11,801 --> 00:15:16,425
how I am the only girl who
ever needed a hopscotch tutor.
258
00:15:16,824 --> 00:15:18,644
Lisa, just repeat after me.
259
00:15:18,713 --> 00:15:21,277
One foot, two foot, one foot,
one foot, two foot, one foot,
260
00:15:21,302 --> 00:15:22,470
two foot, one foot...
261
00:15:22,553 --> 00:15:25,980
So stupid. Who invented this game?
262
00:15:26,187 --> 00:15:29,644
The Scotch invented
hopscotch and Scotch tape!
263
00:15:30,079 --> 00:15:32,586
‐ What about scotch whiskey?
‐ Never heard of it.
264
00:15:32,795 --> 00:15:35,431
See, I told you, all innocent.
265
00:15:35,639 --> 00:15:38,344
So maybe now you vultures
can leave us be.
266
00:15:38,796 --> 00:15:40,556
We've taken up enough of your time.
267
00:15:40,711 --> 00:15:41,879
Let's go, guys.
268
00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:50,342
What are you doing?
My family's in the clear.
269
00:15:50,444 --> 00:15:53,420
I want you to apologize to my wife!
270
00:15:53,774 --> 00:15:56,543
Apologize? Us?
271
00:15:56,595 --> 00:15:58,563
Oh, you will, and you know why?
272
00:15:58,677 --> 00:16:02,790
I am the last person that
watches network television,
273
00:16:03,043 --> 00:16:06,602
including the commercials.
274
00:16:08,354 --> 00:16:09,516
I apologize.
275
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:12,648
Now promise that this
scene will not be removed in editing.
276
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,344
I can't promise that,
only the editor can.
277
00:16:15,469 --> 00:16:17,328
‐ I got him.
‐ I'm gonna report you
278
00:16:17,353 --> 00:16:19,718
to the American Cinema Editors.
279
00:16:20,377 --> 00:16:24,064
- It's just an honorary society.
- You take that back!
280
00:16:27,124 --> 00:16:30,166
Whew. What a relief. So who did do it?
281
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,923
It was obviously Bart. It's always Bart.
282
00:16:33,088 --> 00:16:35,736
Hey, nothing is my fault
'cause Dad raised me so rotten.
283
00:16:35,821 --> 00:16:39,080
Well, nothing is my fault 'cause
my dad raised me so rotten.
284
00:16:39,328 --> 00:16:41,236
Don't blame me.
285
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:44,003
It was a race out the
door and your mother won.
286
00:16:44,201 --> 00:16:45,405
‐ Oh, yeah?
‐ It was Bart!
287
00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:49,015
...To show how irresponsible you are!
288
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,975
Shut up, all you innocent people.
289
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,858
I wish I was never responsible for you.
290
00:16:52,883 --> 00:16:54,551
Stop it, stop it!
291
00:16:54,719 --> 00:16:56,921
You're tearing this family apart.
292
00:16:57,168 --> 00:16:59,749
And stop calling the sofa a love seat!
293
00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:01,140
I barely like it!
294
00:17:01,510 --> 00:17:04,400
The great Simpson
Robbery remains unsolved.
295
00:17:04,784 --> 00:17:06,728
Justice may never be served,
296
00:17:06,861 --> 00:17:09,508
but at the end of the day,
what matters is that we enjoyed
297
00:17:09,533 --> 00:17:13,306
watching bad things happen
to human beings who aren't us.
298
00:17:13,461 --> 00:17:15,627
Ah! Help, Mother.
299
00:17:22,379 --> 00:17:25,246
You try not to dwell on
your innumerable failures.
300
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:28,129
Instead, you stare out to
sea and try to look like
301
00:17:28,154 --> 00:17:29,582
you're thinking deep thoughts.
302
00:17:29,989 --> 00:17:31,857
Just like this.
303
00:17:32,072 --> 00:17:33,261
Yeah.
304
00:17:34,590 --> 00:17:35,603
You got what you need?
305
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,344
'Cause I got an itch,
I got to scratch it.
306
00:17:42,448 --> 00:17:43,738
Now let's celebrate.
307
00:17:43,853 --> 00:17:46,954
We got through a documentary
looking better than before it started.
308
00:17:47,206 --> 00:17:49,776
Nobody's done that
since André the Giant.
309
00:17:51,496 --> 00:17:53,728
Homer Simpson, you'll leave a ring.
310
00:17:54,316 --> 00:17:57,071
Ta‐da! A snap‐on coaster.
311
00:17:57,191 --> 00:17:58,251
Nifty, huh?
312
00:17:58,385 --> 00:18:00,235
What the...? Where'd you get this thing?
313
00:18:00,314 --> 00:18:01,501
I invented it.
314
00:18:02,336 --> 00:18:05,110
How many of these
things did you have made?
315
00:18:05,469 --> 00:18:08,118
A thousand. I wanted
to start a business.
316
00:18:08,342 --> 00:18:12,360
A thousand, huh? That
must've been expensive.
317
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:16,220
That's what I thought, but
it was only 65 cents apiece.
318
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:19,774
So 650 bucks total?
319
00:18:19,909 --> 00:18:21,977
When did you get so
good at your timeses?
320
00:18:22,107 --> 00:18:25,805
It was you, but the
whole time you denied it.
321
00:18:25,865 --> 00:18:27,567
It was always you!
322
00:18:27,869 --> 00:18:32,837
- I‐I can explain.
- No! No explanation.
323
00:18:32,961 --> 00:18:34,212
Kids, get in here!
324
00:18:34,505 --> 00:18:37,595
For once in this marriage,
you did the wrong thing.
325
00:18:37,718 --> 00:18:39,439
I am going to savor this.
326
00:18:39,482 --> 00:18:43,079
I am gonna wait until I do
something wrong, and then...
327
00:18:44,518 --> 00:18:45,743
Okay, we're even.
328
00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:48,009
Well, let me just explain why.
329
00:18:48,151 --> 00:18:50,900
Every day, you go out to
your friends, to Moe's.
330
00:18:51,135 --> 00:18:53,037
Life to you is an adventure.
331
00:18:53,222 --> 00:18:55,991
And I had an idea, an idea for something
332
00:18:56,016 --> 00:18:58,151
that might make me somebody.
333
00:18:58,484 --> 00:19:02,421
But I admit it, I was
gambling, on myself.
334
00:19:03,623 --> 00:19:05,278
I understand, honey.
335
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,232
I completely understand.
336
00:19:11,004 --> 00:19:13,465
‐ What's going on?
‐ Well, Lisa,
337
00:19:13,578 --> 00:19:16,593
‐ I'm afraid I have to say...
‐ Lisa, I just want you to know
338
00:19:16,618 --> 00:19:20,398
your mother's about to say that
the money was eaten by rats.
339
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:23,350
‐ But...
‐ How did rats get inside the can?
340
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:25,397
Uh... Grampa left it open.
341
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,850
Oh, why do they blame
everything around here on me?
342
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,741
Oh, good, the cat's done.
343
00:19:31,396 --> 00:19:35,111
Marge, I'd like to take a walk
with the greatest woman ever.
344
00:19:35,281 --> 00:19:36,338
Oh.
345
00:19:36,585 --> 00:19:40,572
From that moment on, Homer
and I had never been closer.
346
00:19:40,711 --> 00:19:42,963
We shared a dark secret.
347
00:19:43,256 --> 00:19:45,009
It was so sexy.
348
00:19:46,736 --> 00:19:48,938
Marge, I have a secret, too.
349
00:19:49,232 --> 00:19:51,731
I'm losing my hair.
350
00:19:56,319 --> 00:19:59,067
"The Great Simpson
Robbery remains unsol..."
351
00:19:59,202 --> 00:20:01,500
W‐Wait, what do you mean unsolved?
352
00:20:01,638 --> 00:20:03,841
What the hell is this?
353
00:20:04,004 --> 00:20:06,770
My public expects me to
solve the mystery, Bob.
354
00:20:06,813 --> 00:20:09,622
It's not like we can just change
the format of the show.
355
00:20:09,754 --> 00:20:11,583
You just read the copy.
356
00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:13,872
Our viewers want one thing, it's simple:
357
00:20:13,972 --> 00:20:16,682
solve the freakin' crime,
be told who did it.
358
00:20:16,786 --> 00:20:20,614
And I am the soothing voice,
the reassuring voice that... Ah!
359
00:20:20,835 --> 00:20:22,282
Did you hear that? Oh, my God,
360
00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:25,070
I snapped my right vocal
cord... that's the dulcet one.
361
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,492
Quick! Prep him for cord transplant.
362
00:20:29,838 --> 00:20:31,039
We don't have a human donor.
363
00:20:31,066 --> 00:20:32,667
All we have is the
vocal cord of a sheep.
364
00:20:37,675 --> 00:20:39,462
And I'm ba‐a‐ack.
365
00:20:39,743 --> 00:20:42,266
He has an unbelievable work
ethic for a voice‐over actor.
366
00:20:42,862 --> 00:20:47,941
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
29169
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