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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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♪ [The Mills Brothers'"Paper Doll"]
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SINGER: ♪ I'm gonna buya paper doll ♪
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♪ That I can call my own ♪
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♪ A doll that other fellowscannot steal ♪
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♪ And then the flirty,flirty guys ♪
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Good morning, Dottie.
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Good morning, Sue Anne.
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SINGER: ♪ With the flirty,flirty eyes ♪
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♪ Will have to flirt withdollies that are real ♪
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♪ When I come home at nightshe will be waiting ♪
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♪ She'll be the truest dollin all this world ♪
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All right, thank you.
Not a problem.
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SINGER: ♪ I'd rather havea paper doll ♪
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♪ To call my own ♪
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♪ Than have a fickle-mindedreal live girl ♪
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♪ ♪
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DUCKETT: Doctor.
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INVESTIGATOR: Can you tell us
precisely what your fight
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with McWatt on the tarmac
was about?
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Happiness.
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INVESTIGATOR: Happiness?
Your fight was about happiness?
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That was one of the themes,
yes.
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That's where it ended up,
anyway.
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INVESTIGATOR: Would you say
that McWatt was disturbed?
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Yes.
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INVESTIGATOR: And would you say
he was mentally unwell?
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Sure, yeah.
Yeah, why not?
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INVESTIGATOR: Would you
call him insane?
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Aren't we all?
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And would you say McWatt's
insanity led to the death
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of Kid Sampson?
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Yes.
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INVESTIGATOR: And would you
agree the United States
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military is in
no way responsible
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for McWatt's insanity that led
to the death of Kid Sampson?
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I would say the United States
military is entirely
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00:02:24,623 --> 00:02:27,464
responsible for McWatt's
insanity that led to the death
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00:02:27,466 --> 00:02:28,505
of Kid Sampson.
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KORN: Answer the question.
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I just did.
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INVESTIGATOR: Can you
positively identify these
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00:02:51,292 --> 00:02:55,096
to be the bodies of Lieutenants
Sampson and McWatt?
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Positively?
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INVESTIGATOR: Simply yes or no
will suffice.
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Well, I can't really give you
a simple yes or no.
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I'm...
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20% positive that's
Kid Sampson, and I'm...
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I don't know...
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00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:16,479
10% on McWatt.
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INVESTIGATOR: I'll take that
as a yes.
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[truck engine rumbling]
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DUCKETT: Thank you, bye.
YOSSARIAN: Oh.
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Hi, hi.
Uh, can I talk to you?
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Hi, sure.
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So, I think maybe you and I
are the only two sane people
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on this base.
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Sane person? Here?
Okay.
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I can't take this anymore.
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00:03:43,268 --> 00:03:45,389
And I think I've figured out
a way to get out of here,
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00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,271
and I just wanna see
how it registers
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00:03:47,273 --> 00:03:48,992
on a sane person's face.
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00:03:48,994 --> 00:03:51,315
Wow, I'm--I'm
almost flattered.
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00:03:51,317 --> 00:03:54,038
So, as it stands,
I still have 11 missions
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left to fly.
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00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,362
Cathcart'll raise the missions,
clearly.
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00:03:57,364 --> 00:03:58,883
It's a behavioral pattern.
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00:03:58,885 --> 00:04:01,566
But I'm gonna do those 11
so fast in secret,
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00:04:01,568 --> 00:04:02,888
he won't even know.
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00:04:02,890 --> 00:04:04,449
And I won't log them
on the day.
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I'll log them all at once
after I've flown them,
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and then I'm gone before
he even knows what happened.
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00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:15,902
So, just to get this straight,
your--your plan to get out
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00:04:15,904 --> 00:04:18,064
of here is to fly all
of the missions
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00:04:18,066 --> 00:04:19,586
you're required to fly anyway?
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00:04:19,588 --> 00:04:21,428
Yeah, that's my plan.
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Just, really fast.
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♪ [Anita O'Day's"Massachusetts"]
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♪ ♪
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Heya, fella.
Hey.
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00:04:38,168 --> 00:04:39,848
What say I fly
this one for you?
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Why?
I don't know.
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00:04:41,131 --> 00:04:42,691
I'm just itching
to get up there.
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00:04:42,693 --> 00:04:44,613
All right.
I'm gonna go swimming, then.
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00:04:44,615 --> 00:04:47,296
Appreciate it.
Take that for me, will ya?
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00:04:47,298 --> 00:04:52,181
♪ ♪
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All right.
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♪ ♪
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And...
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♪ ♪
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00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:03,754
ANITA: ♪ When the porteryells Massachusetts ♪
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Bombs away.
All right, that's it.
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00:05:06,319 --> 00:05:07,718
We're done.
Pull up.
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00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,520
ANITA: ♪ Homesick as can be,Massachusetts ♪
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YOSSARIAN: Pull up harder,
please.
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00:05:12,325 --> 00:05:14,365
Hey, uh,
what's your name, again?
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00:05:14,367 --> 00:05:17,129
BOBBY: Munster.Bobby Munster.
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00:05:17,131 --> 00:05:19,171
Nice job, Bobby Munster.
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00:05:19,173 --> 00:05:22,214
ANITA: ♪ How my heartwill knock Massachusetts ♪
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♪ To see Plymouth RockMassachusetts ♪
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♪ Want to roam aroundMassachusetts ♪
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00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,584
♪ In Nantucket townMassachusetts ♪
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♪ I can hardly waitI hope the train ain't late ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ You can't guess how much itmeans for me to be there ♪
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YOSSARIAN: Bombs away.
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00:05:41,918 --> 00:05:43,157
[cannons booming]
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[bombs shrieking]
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00:05:45,602 --> 00:05:48,443
Hey, there he is,
the king of the clouds.
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00:05:48,445 --> 00:05:49,724
YOSSARIAN: Hey, fellas.
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00:05:49,726 --> 00:05:52,087
New Kid Sampson,
New McWatt.
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00:05:52,089 --> 00:05:54,209
YOSSARIAN: John Yossarian.
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00:05:54,211 --> 00:05:56,171
John Yossarian.
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ANITA: ♪ Just like Jackand Jill Massachusetts ♪
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Come on, you fuck.
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Release.
Okay, take us out!
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00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:04,260
ANITA: ♪ Spreadthe news around ♪
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♪ I'm Massachusetts bound ♪
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♪ ♪
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Heya, boys.
Let's do it.
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00:06:19,398 --> 00:06:26,406
♪ ♪
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[booming]
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♪ ♪
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Release.
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00:06:53,235 --> 00:06:56,837
[plane engine droning]
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00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,160
ANITA: ♪ As you walkto Lexing-- ♪
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00:06:59,162 --> 00:07:01,042
[switch clicks,
music stops abruptly]
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00:07:01,044 --> 00:07:04,087
[inhales deeply]
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00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:10,094
[eerie silence]
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00:07:12,616 --> 00:07:15,898
[instruments clicking]
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00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:18,741
[eerie silence]
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00:07:18,743 --> 00:07:21,786
[instruments clicking]
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00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,762
[exhales]
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00:07:37,764 --> 00:07:39,243
[metallic creak]
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00:07:39,245 --> 00:07:41,045
[exhales deeply]
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00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:42,086
[lever clicks]
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00:07:42,088 --> 00:07:45,132
[eerie silence]
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00:07:48,616 --> 00:07:51,336
[booming]
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00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:52,898
♪ [Glenn Miller's"In The Mood"]
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Yes, that's it!
That's it for me!
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00:07:55,863 --> 00:07:57,904
I'm going home, fellas!
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♪ ♪
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You hear that?
144
00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:03,430
[groans]
I'm going home.
145
00:08:03,432 --> 00:08:05,712
What's your name, again?
Joseph, sir.
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00:08:05,714 --> 00:08:08,275
I'm going home, Joseph.
I won.
147
00:08:08,277 --> 00:08:09,636
I won!
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00:08:09,638 --> 00:08:12,119
♪ ♪
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00:08:12,121 --> 00:08:14,522
I hear someone's going home.
Oh, you hear right.
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00:08:14,524 --> 00:08:16,123
Go get 'em, Yo-Yo.
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00:08:16,125 --> 00:08:18,128
I will.
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00:08:18,969 --> 00:08:22,012
[whistling]
153
00:08:28,619 --> 00:08:29,738
Hi.
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00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:31,180
Haven't seen you in a while.
155
00:08:31,182 --> 00:08:33,182
Yeah.
Been in the hospital again?
156
00:08:33,184 --> 00:08:35,465
I have not.
I have not, no.
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00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:38,390
I have been flying.
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00:08:43,515 --> 00:08:45,518
For your signing.
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You're giving me these
all at once?
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00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,847
All at once.
There's 11 missions there.
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00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:01,973
Count 'em.
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00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,056
CLERK: Interesting way
of doing it.
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00:09:04,058 --> 00:09:05,818
11 in a row.
164
00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:08,060
I figure I'd save you a whole
lot of work if, you know,
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00:09:08,062 --> 00:09:10,064
I gave them to you all at once.
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00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:12,827
How thoughtful.
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00:09:16,351 --> 00:09:18,393
[Yossarian whistling]
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YOSSARIAN: A good day to you,
Colonel.
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This makes 50 missions, sir.
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Wait, you've flown--
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YOSSARIAN: 11 missions.
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11 missions?
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00:09:36,173 --> 00:09:39,014
That's right, sir.
In six days.
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That's not even possible.
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That's 11 missions, sir.
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YOSSARIAN: They're--They're
all stamped, sir.
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Who gave you permission?
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00:09:47,225 --> 00:09:49,625
I've just been making
myself available, sir.
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00:09:49,627 --> 00:09:51,628
There's always somebody
with the stomach bug
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00:09:51,630 --> 00:09:53,830
or a headache
or a hangover.
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00:09:53,832 --> 00:09:56,353
And I'm just doing
what I can to help.
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Just doing my bit.
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00:09:58,517 --> 00:10:00,117
This is highly irregular.
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00:10:00,119 --> 00:10:01,719
Yes, sir.
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00:10:01,721 --> 00:10:03,240
And when can I expect
to receive
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00:10:03,242 --> 00:10:04,722
my discharge papers, sir?
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00:10:04,724 --> 00:10:06,924
Well, as soon as I've stamped
your paperwork.
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00:10:06,926 --> 00:10:08,928
YOSSARIAN: Yes, sir.
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00:10:09,729 --> 00:10:11,731
Should I wait here?
190
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,254
There's a process
that proceeds
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00:10:16,256 --> 00:10:17,936
the actual stamping
of the stamp.
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00:10:17,938 --> 00:10:19,218
Yes, sir.
193
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:21,180
We'll notify you once that
process is complete.
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00:10:21,182 --> 00:10:22,902
Thank you, sir.
Is that sufficient?
195
00:10:22,904 --> 00:10:24,223
YOSSARIAN: Thank you very much,
sir.
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00:10:24,225 --> 00:10:26,227
You're welcome.
197
00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:31,351
Uh-huh.
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00:10:31,353 --> 00:10:34,554
♪ [Glenn Miller's"In The Mood"]
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00:10:34,556 --> 00:10:41,564
♪ ♪
200
00:10:45,528 --> 00:10:47,530
Yeah!
201
00:11:10,275 --> 00:11:11,595
Hey, Yo-Yo!
202
00:11:11,597 --> 00:11:12,756
YOSSARIAN: What are you doing?
203
00:11:12,758 --> 00:11:14,157
Oh, we went down.
204
00:11:14,159 --> 00:11:15,879
I was on a training run
with these fellas.
205
00:11:15,881 --> 00:11:18,564
Fellas, this is Yossarian.
Jump on, Yo-Yo.
206
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,168
We were--we were looping out
past Sardinia
207
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:25,890
in the new B-25.
208
00:11:25,892 --> 00:11:28,893
It's got a new Holley
carburetor which cruises lean
209
00:11:28,895 --> 00:11:31,296
but the bypass valve
is diaphragm-operated,
210
00:11:31,298 --> 00:11:32,938
which I did not know.
211
00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:35,621
The old ones have a baffle
in the air-mixing chamber
212
00:11:35,623 --> 00:11:38,224
and that's the one I'm used to,
obviously.
213
00:11:38,226 --> 00:11:41,107
But now there's this
self-sealing CCU
214
00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:44,190
strapped on to the bomb bay,
and the fuel gets transferred
215
00:11:44,192 --> 00:11:45,912
by an electric centrifuge pump.
216
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,074
And if you did not know that--
[mimics farting noise]
217
00:11:48,076 --> 00:11:50,079
You're not gonna prime it.
So...
218
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:54,241
Perfect belly landing.
219
00:11:54,243 --> 00:11:56,686
And I learned something
new for next time.
220
00:11:59,209 --> 00:12:01,169
Well, I didn't
know you'd gone.
221
00:12:01,171 --> 00:12:03,173
But welcome back.
222
00:12:04,334 --> 00:12:05,894
♪ [Ella Fitzgerald's"Don't Fence Me In"]
223
00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:07,696
ELLA: ♪ Oh give me landlots of land ♪
224
00:12:07,698 --> 00:12:10,499
♪ Under starry skies above ♪
225
00:12:10,501 --> 00:12:13,943
♪ Don't fence me in ♪
226
00:12:13,945 --> 00:12:18,748
♪ Let me ride through the wideopen country that I love ♪
227
00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:22,432
♪ Don't fence me in ♪
228
00:12:22,434 --> 00:12:27,397
♪ Let me be by myselfin the evening breeze ♪
229
00:12:27,399 --> 00:12:31,682
♪ Listen to the murmurof the cottonwood trees ♪
230
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:36,207
♪ Send me off foreverbut I ask you please ♪
231
00:12:36,209 --> 00:12:38,690
♪ Don't fence me in ♪
232
00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:40,852
♪ Just turn me loose ♪
233
00:12:40,854 --> 00:12:43,014
♪ Let me straddlemy old saddle ♪
234
00:12:43,016 --> 00:12:46,979
♪ Underneaththe western skies ♪
235
00:12:46,981 --> 00:12:51,664
♪ On my Cayuse let me wanderover yonder ♪
236
00:12:51,666 --> 00:12:55,668
♪ Till I seethe mountains rise ♪
237
00:12:55,670 --> 00:13:01,835
♪ I want to ride to the ridgewhere the west commences ♪
238
00:13:01,837 --> 00:13:06,159
♪ Gaze at the moontill I lose my senses ♪
239
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:09,643
♪ Can't look at hobblesand I can't stand fences ♪
240
00:13:09,645 --> 00:13:11,645
Knock, knock.
How you doing, Yo-Yo?
241
00:13:11,647 --> 00:13:12,847
Stupendous.
242
00:13:12,849 --> 00:13:14,128
Heard you went
down yesterday.
243
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:16,050
Sure did.
Good for you.
244
00:13:16,052 --> 00:13:17,692
I need to call in my favor.
245
00:13:17,694 --> 00:13:18,973
What is it?
246
00:13:18,975 --> 00:13:20,135
I'm gonna go
buy some things.
247
00:13:20,137 --> 00:13:21,376
I need you
to come with me.
248
00:13:21,378 --> 00:13:22,657
Where?
MILO: Everywhere.
249
00:13:22,659 --> 00:13:24,099
YOSSARIAN: When?
MILO: Gotta leave in an hour.
250
00:13:24,101 --> 00:13:25,501
I can't.
I'm going home.
251
00:13:25,503 --> 00:13:26,982
You're going home?
252
00:13:26,984 --> 00:13:28,904
I'm just waiting on a stamp.
253
00:13:28,906 --> 00:13:30,866
But, why do you need me?
254
00:13:30,868 --> 00:13:32,068
MILO: Come on,
it'll be fun.
255
00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:33,790
It'll be like a vacation.
256
00:13:33,792 --> 00:13:35,351
You won't have
to lift anything heavy.
257
00:13:35,353 --> 00:13:36,673
I promise.
258
00:13:36,675 --> 00:13:39,756
♪ ♪
259
00:13:39,758 --> 00:13:41,238
Can I come?
260
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,361
[plane engines rumbling]
261
00:13:44,363 --> 00:13:45,963
MILO: Yeah, she handles nice,
right?
262
00:13:45,965 --> 00:13:47,244
ORR: I'm impressed.
263
00:13:47,246 --> 00:13:48,926
MILO: It's outstanding
craftsmanship.
264
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,728
That's the Germans
for you, though.
265
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:53,010
Every little detail.
Hey, look at this stitching.
266
00:13:53,012 --> 00:13:55,453
Here, huh?
This is high-quality leather.
267
00:13:55,455 --> 00:13:57,135
You see this, Yossarian?
268
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:58,577
Very high quality.
269
00:13:58,579 --> 00:14:01,219
[man speaking indistinctlyover radio]
270
00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:03,262
Hello, this
is Milo Minderbinder.
271
00:14:03,264 --> 00:14:04,663
[man speaking indistinctlyover radio]
272
00:14:04,665 --> 00:14:06,585
Ah, Luca.
How are you, my friend?
273
00:14:06,587 --> 00:14:08,067
[Luca speaking indistinctlyover radio]
274
00:14:08,069 --> 00:14:10,069
Wait, slow down, Luca.
Slow down.
275
00:14:10,071 --> 00:14:11,671
[Luca speaking indistinctlyover radio]
276
00:14:11,673 --> 00:14:13,673
Uh-huh.
277
00:14:13,675 --> 00:14:15,075
Uh-huh.
278
00:14:15,077 --> 00:14:16,676
[Luca speaking indistinctlyover radio]
279
00:14:16,678 --> 00:14:19,359
Well, that was the agreement
we had, 500 goats.
280
00:14:19,361 --> 00:14:21,081
[Luca speaking indistinctlyover radio]
281
00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:23,324
Tell him to hold his horses.
I'm actually--
282
00:14:23,326 --> 00:14:26,407
I'm in the neighborhood.
I'll drop in.
283
00:14:26,409 --> 00:14:29,570
No, just tell him
not to slaughter.
284
00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:32,333
No slaughter.
Don't kill the goats.
285
00:14:32,335 --> 00:14:34,336
SINGER: ♪ Tu vuo' fa'll'americano ♪
286
00:14:34,338 --> 00:14:37,619
♪ Mericano, mericano ♪
287
00:14:37,621 --> 00:14:40,382
♪ Sient'a mme chit' 'o ffa fa'? ♪
288
00:14:40,384 --> 00:14:45,548
♪ Tu vuoi vivere alla modaMa se bevi whisky and soda ♪
289
00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:47,350
♪ Po' te siente 'e disturba' ♪
290
00:14:47,352 --> 00:14:50,313
[goats bleating]
291
00:14:50,315 --> 00:14:52,555
Mr. Milo.
292
00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:54,477
It's so wonderful
to have you back.
293
00:14:54,479 --> 00:14:56,880
[speaking Italian]
294
00:14:56,882 --> 00:14:58,201
ALESSANDRO: [grunts]
295
00:14:58,203 --> 00:15:00,124
Alessandro, I want you
to meet two very,
296
00:15:00,126 --> 00:15:02,406
very good friends of mine.
This is John Yossarian.
297
00:15:02,408 --> 00:15:03,567
Hiya.
Hi.
298
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,809
And Ivor Orr.
299
00:15:04,811 --> 00:15:08,212
My friends.
My friends.
300
00:15:08,214 --> 00:15:09,534
[laughs]
301
00:15:09,536 --> 00:15:12,377
Alessandro,
we had an agreement.
302
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,499
Yes, yes.
303
00:15:14,501 --> 00:15:17,983
But you said some goats.
304
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:20,025
You didn't say 500 goats.
305
00:15:20,027 --> 00:15:21,947
500 goats is good, no?
306
00:15:21,949 --> 00:15:23,429
You can milk them.
307
00:15:23,431 --> 00:15:25,872
No, no, Mr. Milo.
We cannot feed them.
308
00:15:25,874 --> 00:15:27,634
MILO: Don't they
just eat grass?
309
00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,035
Let them eat the grass.
310
00:15:29,037 --> 00:15:32,399
Oh, you don't understand goats.
[laughs]
311
00:15:32,401 --> 00:15:34,161
ALESSANDRO: The grass
is already gone.
312
00:15:34,163 --> 00:15:35,883
And now
they eat everything.
313
00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:38,325
They eat things
that are not even food.
314
00:15:38,327 --> 00:15:40,808
Let me assure you,
we are so thankful
315
00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:42,730
for everything you
have done for us.
316
00:15:42,732 --> 00:15:45,693
And this town has most
surely been blessed
317
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,215
by your generosity.
318
00:15:47,217 --> 00:15:49,057
You're very welcome.
319
00:15:49,059 --> 00:15:54,623
But 500 goats,
it's just too many goats.
320
00:15:54,625 --> 00:15:57,828
[goats bleating]
321
00:16:00,151 --> 00:16:01,711
[plane engines roaring]
322
00:16:01,713 --> 00:16:03,433
MILO: It's amazing the demand
you can create
323
00:16:03,435 --> 00:16:04,954
just by moving things around.
324
00:16:04,956 --> 00:16:06,956
That's what I do with the eggs.
325
00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:09,679
Now--Now, I don't understand
what you do with the eggs.
326
00:16:09,681 --> 00:16:12,082
You buy them for seven cents
apiece in Malta
327
00:16:12,084 --> 00:16:13,644
then you sell them
for five cents?
328
00:16:13,646 --> 00:16:15,526
I do it to make a profit.
329
00:16:15,528 --> 00:16:17,328
Well, why do people come
to Malta for eggs
330
00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,689
when they're so expensive,
there?
331
00:16:18,691 --> 00:16:20,131
Because they've always
done it that way.
332
00:16:20,133 --> 00:16:22,293
YOSSARIAN: Why don't they go
look for eggs in Sicily?
333
00:16:22,295 --> 00:16:24,335
Because they've never
done it that way.
334
00:16:24,337 --> 00:16:26,177
YOSSARIAN: Now I really
don't understand.
335
00:16:26,179 --> 00:16:28,019
Why--Why don't you sell
your mess hall's eggs
336
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:30,302
for seven cents apiece
instead of five cents apiece?
337
00:16:30,304 --> 00:16:32,624
Because my mess halls
would have no need for me then.
338
00:16:32,626 --> 00:16:34,466
Anyone can buy seven cents
apiece eggs
339
00:16:34,468 --> 00:16:35,948
for seven cents apiece.
340
00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:38,030
And at least this way I can
make a bid for myself
341
00:16:38,032 --> 00:16:39,272
as a middle man.
342
00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:40,793
What?
So you do make a profit.
343
00:16:40,795 --> 00:16:42,795
Ah, the syndicate benefits
when I benefit
344
00:16:42,797 --> 00:16:44,397
because everybody has a share.
345
00:16:44,399 --> 00:16:47,040
You'll see when we get
to Palermo.
346
00:16:47,042 --> 00:16:48,562
I thought you said
we were going to Malta.
347
00:16:48,564 --> 00:16:50,724
Ah, Palermo first.
[knocking]
348
00:16:50,726 --> 00:16:52,446
You hear that, Orr?
349
00:16:52,448 --> 00:16:53,968
♪ ♪
350
00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:55,970
SINGER: ♪ Tu vuo' fa'll'americano ♪
351
00:16:55,972 --> 00:16:59,093
♪ Mericano, mericano ♪
352
00:16:59,095 --> 00:17:01,616
♪ Sient'a mme chit' 'o ffa fa'? ♪
353
00:17:01,618 --> 00:17:03,618
♪ Tu vuoi vivere alla moda ♪
354
00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:05,380
Come on, fellas.
Let's go, guys.
355
00:17:05,382 --> 00:17:07,102
SINGER: ♪ Whisky and soda ♪
356
00:17:07,104 --> 00:17:08,824
♪ Po' te siente 'e disturba' ♪
357
00:17:08,826 --> 00:17:10,305
[goats bleating]
358
00:17:10,307 --> 00:17:12,508
SINGER: ♪ Tu abball' o'rocchenroll ♪
359
00:17:12,510 --> 00:17:15,311
♪ Tu giochi a baisiboll ♪
360
00:17:15,313 --> 00:17:17,994
♪ Ma e solde p' e' Ccamel ♪
361
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:20,757
[cheers and applause]
362
00:17:20,759 --> 00:17:22,118
♪ ♪
363
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:25,722
SINGER: ♪ Mericano, mericano ♪
364
00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:27,364
♪ Ma si' nato in Italy ♪
365
00:17:27,366 --> 00:17:30,367
♪ Sient' a mme, nun ce staniente 'a fa' ♪
366
00:17:30,369 --> 00:17:32,409
♪ Ok, napulitan ♪
367
00:17:32,411 --> 00:17:33,611
♪ Tu vuo' fa' ll'american ♪
368
00:17:33,613 --> 00:17:35,052
♪ Tu vuo' fa' ll'american ♪
369
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:40,859
♪ ♪
370
00:17:40,861 --> 00:17:42,581
YOSSARIAN: What's sindacho?
371
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,623
Sindacho.
It means mayor.
372
00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:46,665
I'm the mayor of Palermo.
373
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:48,026
YOSSARIAN: How?
374
00:17:48,028 --> 00:17:50,910
'Cause I brought Scotch
to Italy.
375
00:17:50,912 --> 00:17:53,352
Well, since when do
the Italians drink Scotch?
376
00:17:53,354 --> 00:17:55,715
They don't.
Scotch is very expensive.
377
00:17:55,717 --> 00:17:58,638
These people are very poor.
378
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,640
Well, why are you importing
it if nobody drinks it?
379
00:18:00,642 --> 00:18:02,082
To inflate the price.
380
00:18:02,084 --> 00:18:04,605
Sicily's now the third
largest exporter
381
00:18:04,607 --> 00:18:06,166
of Scotch in the world.
382
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,729
That's why they
elected me mayor.
383
00:18:08,731 --> 00:18:10,211
That's why they
elected him mayor.
384
00:18:10,213 --> 00:18:11,933
ORR: Good for you, Milo.
385
00:18:11,935 --> 00:18:14,976
[brass band playing]
386
00:18:14,978 --> 00:18:17,419
♪ ♪
387
00:18:17,421 --> 00:18:20,021
[speaking Italian]
388
00:18:20,023 --> 00:18:21,823
♪ ♪
389
00:18:21,825 --> 00:18:23,225
Grazie.
390
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,230
[cheers and applause]
391
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,441
[speaking Italian]
392
00:18:38,443 --> 00:18:40,003
Ah, Giuseppe.
393
00:18:40,005 --> 00:18:41,885
Telefono.
394
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:45,369
M&M Enterprises.
This is Milo Minderbinder.
395
00:18:45,371 --> 00:18:47,531
Uh-huh, Fernando.
396
00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:50,336
Okay.
Okay.
397
00:18:51,978 --> 00:18:54,139
Yeah, we should.
398
00:18:54,141 --> 00:18:56,741
We should absolutely do that.
399
00:18:56,743 --> 00:19:01,226
Okay, all right.
Give me, uh, four hours.
400
00:19:01,228 --> 00:19:05,551
Yeah, send my love to Marge
and the kids, okay?
401
00:19:05,553 --> 00:19:07,833
Artichokes.
Insane prices.
402
00:19:07,835 --> 00:19:09,635
I have to act fast.
403
00:19:09,637 --> 00:19:12,398
[grunts]
404
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,403
I'll be back.
Don't wait up for me.
405
00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:23,933
[plane engines approaching]
406
00:19:30,981 --> 00:19:32,983
YOSSARIAN: About fucking time.
407
00:19:55,207 --> 00:19:58,368
MILO: Hi, fellas!
I'm so sorry!
408
00:19:58,370 --> 00:20:00,491
I had to meet
the artichoke king.
409
00:20:00,493 --> 00:20:02,493
He's in Gibraltar.
It's quite the hike.
410
00:20:02,495 --> 00:20:05,416
Milo, we slept on goddamn
deck chairs.
411
00:20:05,418 --> 00:20:08,059
I can organize a massage
in Malta.
412
00:20:08,061 --> 00:20:09,981
Milo, what am I doing here?
413
00:20:09,983 --> 00:20:12,384
We gotta chop-chop now, boys!
414
00:20:12,386 --> 00:20:14,947
♪ [Glen Miller's"Begin the Beguine"]
415
00:20:14,949 --> 00:20:21,956
♪ ♪
416
00:20:24,679 --> 00:20:25,999
[tapping on glass]
417
00:20:26,001 --> 00:20:27,801
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you.
418
00:20:27,803 --> 00:20:30,483
Um, and, uh, we, um,
welcome tonight
419
00:20:30,485 --> 00:20:35,409
a very special guest.
A very special friend.
420
00:20:35,411 --> 00:20:39,133
And the first American
in over 120 years
421
00:20:39,135 --> 00:20:42,737
to ever hold the title
of Assistant Governor General
422
00:20:42,739 --> 00:20:44,258
of Malta.
423
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:46,501
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you
424
00:20:46,503 --> 00:20:49,664
Major Sir Milo Minderbinder.
425
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,748
[applause]
426
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:54,069
Hear, hear!
427
00:20:54,071 --> 00:20:56,312
Thank you, Governor General.
428
00:20:56,314 --> 00:20:58,274
And ladies and gentlemen,
it is an absolute honor
429
00:20:58,276 --> 00:20:59,275
to be here tonight.
430
00:20:59,277 --> 00:21:02,278
[applause]
431
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,320
♪ ♪
432
00:21:04,322 --> 00:21:07,364
MILO: These are a giftfor the Caliph of Oran.
433
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:08,685
YOSSARIAN: What is Oran?
434
00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:10,647
It's a city in Algeria.
435
00:21:10,649 --> 00:21:12,729
It was founded by the Moors
in the 10th century.
436
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:14,251
ORR: Why are you giving
the Caliph of Oran
437
00:21:14,253 --> 00:21:15,933
a plane full of parrots?
438
00:21:15,935 --> 00:21:18,296
MILO: Because it's customary
for the Pasha of Oran
439
00:21:18,298 --> 00:21:19,897
to give gifts to the Caliph.
440
00:21:19,899 --> 00:21:22,060
YOSSARIAN: And you're
the Pasha of Oran?
441
00:21:22,062 --> 00:21:23,221
MILO: Oh, it's an
honorary title.
442
00:21:23,223 --> 00:21:24,622
You know how these things go.
443
00:21:24,624 --> 00:21:26,505
It doesn't actually
mean anything.
444
00:21:26,507 --> 00:21:28,509
[birds squawking]
445
00:21:35,236 --> 00:21:37,757
MILO: Ah, they're beautiful,
aren't they?
446
00:21:37,759 --> 00:21:39,278
YOSSARIAN: What are you
doing with them?
447
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,242
Well, Oran is where
I call in my favor.
448
00:21:42,244 --> 00:21:44,084
Oran means one thing to me.
449
00:21:44,086 --> 00:21:46,246
And that thing is dates.
450
00:21:46,248 --> 00:21:47,888
Well, two things.
451
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,610
I'm thinking of taking out
some oil leases, too.
452
00:21:49,612 --> 00:21:51,332
But today it's all about dates.
453
00:21:51,334 --> 00:21:53,053
What dates?
Date dates.
454
00:21:53,055 --> 00:21:55,656
The dates you eat.
They're a palm fruit.
455
00:21:55,658 --> 00:21:57,979
Algerian dates are the best
in the world,
456
00:21:57,981 --> 00:22:00,221
and this guy that we're
going to see--the Caliph--
457
00:22:00,223 --> 00:22:03,585
he has a lot of them.
And I mean a lot of them.
458
00:22:03,587 --> 00:22:05,107
Okay.
459
00:22:05,109 --> 00:22:08,030
Now, the thing with this guy
is he's nervous.
460
00:22:08,032 --> 00:22:09,631
Maybe it's an Arab thing.
461
00:22:09,633 --> 00:22:11,674
Maybe he just wants a little
show of respect.
462
00:22:11,676 --> 00:22:13,676
The Arabs are
an ancient people.
463
00:22:13,678 --> 00:22:16,959
Ancient families doing business
with other ancient families.
464
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,361
Things move slow.
465
00:22:18,363 --> 00:22:20,443
I think the speed
of American enterprise
466
00:22:20,445 --> 00:22:22,165
gives him the willies.
467
00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:24,368
And I'm guessing he just wants
to know that he's getting
468
00:22:24,370 --> 00:22:26,290
into business with some
serious people.
469
00:22:26,292 --> 00:22:28,812
So I told him I was bringing
my friend with me today.
470
00:22:28,814 --> 00:22:31,896
My friend being a wealthy
American industrialist.
471
00:22:31,898 --> 00:22:36,701
That wealthy American
industrialist being you.
472
00:22:36,703 --> 00:22:39,704
[suspenseful music]
473
00:22:39,706 --> 00:22:46,754
♪ ♪
474
00:22:54,963 --> 00:22:56,322
MILO: Most high Caliph,
475
00:22:56,324 --> 00:22:58,084
it is so wonderful
to see you again.
476
00:22:58,086 --> 00:23:00,046
CALIPH: And you, too,
good Milo.
477
00:23:00,048 --> 00:23:03,410
You are always welcome
in my house.
478
00:23:03,412 --> 00:23:05,452
You have journeyed well.
479
00:23:05,454 --> 00:23:06,974
You look radiant.
480
00:23:06,976 --> 00:23:08,656
I feel radiant, Your Majesty.
481
00:23:08,658 --> 00:23:12,100
Perhaps it is the fragrant air
of your magical country.
482
00:23:12,102 --> 00:23:14,302
Perhaps it is,
good Milo.
483
00:23:14,304 --> 00:23:17,505
Perhaps you should find a way
of bottling it
484
00:23:17,507 --> 00:23:19,027
to take home with you
to America.
485
00:23:19,029 --> 00:23:20,429
Indeed we should.
486
00:23:20,431 --> 00:23:22,150
It would make my people
very happy.
487
00:23:22,152 --> 00:23:23,752
Your Highness,
if you will,
488
00:23:23,754 --> 00:23:25,955
allow me to introduce you
to a dear, dear friend.
489
00:23:25,957 --> 00:23:27,877
Your Greatness,
it's my pleasure to introduce
490
00:23:27,879 --> 00:23:31,240
to you a fantastically wealthy
American industrialist
491
00:23:31,242 --> 00:23:33,883
from an ancient
American family.
492
00:23:33,885 --> 00:23:36,208
Mr. Nelson D. Rockefeller.
493
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:43,093
Mr. Rockefeller,
it is such a great honor.
494
00:23:43,095 --> 00:23:46,057
I have heard so much about you.
495
00:23:46,059 --> 00:23:48,862
And I you,
great man.
496
00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:51,865
Ah...
497
00:23:53,387 --> 00:23:56,107
CALIPH: I is wonderful that you
are here today.
498
00:23:56,109 --> 00:23:58,030
Come.
499
00:23:58,032 --> 00:24:00,034
MILO: Thank you,
your greatness.
500
00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:07,440
CALIPH: This war is a terrible
nuisance, is it not?
501
00:24:07,442 --> 00:24:09,642
MILO: Oh, terrible.
Terrible nuisance.
502
00:24:09,644 --> 00:24:11,684
YOSSARIAN: It's terrible.
ORR: Terrible.
503
00:24:11,686 --> 00:24:13,927
Mr. Rockefeller,
504
00:24:13,929 --> 00:24:18,412
your negotiations in the
Mesopotamian Oil Agreement
505
00:24:18,414 --> 00:24:23,017
of 1938,
I was most impressed.
506
00:24:23,019 --> 00:24:24,258
You're very tough.
507
00:24:24,260 --> 00:24:26,420
Yes, I am, Your Highness.
508
00:24:26,422 --> 00:24:28,262
But fair.
509
00:24:28,264 --> 00:24:32,387
The Sultan of Assur
is a difficult man.
510
00:24:32,389 --> 00:24:35,350
Your powers of persuasion
must be formidable.
511
00:24:35,352 --> 00:24:39,995
He was a tricky customer,
but we got there eventually.
512
00:24:39,997 --> 00:24:41,597
I think you'll find
the Caliph to be
513
00:24:41,599 --> 00:24:42,999
not nearly so difficult.
514
00:24:43,001 --> 00:24:45,922
But I am a skilled
negotiator.
515
00:24:45,924 --> 00:24:47,323
I must warn you.
516
00:24:47,325 --> 00:24:50,687
As am I, Your Grace.
As am I.
517
00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:53,009
CALIPH: Well, then,
and what do you think
518
00:24:53,011 --> 00:24:57,414
the prospects of exploration
in my country might be?
519
00:24:57,416 --> 00:24:59,657
Good.
Mm-hmm.
520
00:24:59,659 --> 00:25:01,218
I think they'd be very good.
521
00:25:01,220 --> 00:25:04,061
The Saharan Desert presents
its problems.
522
00:25:04,063 --> 00:25:07,866
Oh, Sahara.
God forbid, so hot.
523
00:25:07,868 --> 00:25:11,510
My concern would be not
so much the heat
524
00:25:11,512 --> 00:25:14,873
as the possibility
of igneous layers
525
00:25:14,875 --> 00:25:16,475
over the shale deposits.
526
00:25:16,477 --> 00:25:19,759
They're a problem,
those igneous layers.
527
00:25:19,761 --> 00:25:21,841
And how would you
approach that?
528
00:25:21,843 --> 00:25:22,962
[inhales]
529
00:25:22,964 --> 00:25:24,324
Technology.
530
00:25:24,326 --> 00:25:26,726
And what technology?
531
00:25:26,728 --> 00:25:28,408
The latest technology.
532
00:25:28,410 --> 00:25:31,772
And what, pray tell,
is the latest technology?
533
00:25:31,774 --> 00:25:34,134
I don't know, Your Honor.
I'm a businessman.
534
00:25:34,136 --> 00:25:36,136
I'm not an engineer.
[laughs]
535
00:25:36,138 --> 00:25:38,219
CALIPH: You're an oil man,
aren't you?
536
00:25:38,221 --> 00:25:41,622
Surely you know how your oil
is extracted.
537
00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:44,025
I don't--I don't really--
538
00:25:44,027 --> 00:25:47,108
Our most recent experiences
with the igneous rock
539
00:25:47,110 --> 00:25:49,351
were more than adequately
handled with the new
540
00:25:49,353 --> 00:25:52,114
diaphragm-operated bypass valve
drill bit.
541
00:25:52,116 --> 00:25:54,797
The regular drill bits
have a baffle
542
00:25:54,799 --> 00:25:56,278
in the air-mixing chamber.
543
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,081
But the new ones have
a self-sealing CCU
544
00:25:59,083 --> 00:26:01,324
strapped onto the electric
centrifuge pump.
545
00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:04,127
[relaxing music playing]
546
00:26:04,129 --> 00:26:05,849
♪ ♪
547
00:26:05,851 --> 00:26:07,933
My geologist.
Kid's a genius.
548
00:26:16,342 --> 00:26:19,386
[plane engines roaring]
549
00:26:23,430 --> 00:26:26,231
MILO: I'm happy for you.
You flew your missions.
550
00:26:26,233 --> 00:26:28,874
You did your part.
551
00:26:28,876 --> 00:26:30,636
When do you get to go home?
552
00:26:30,638 --> 00:26:32,117
I'm not really gonna get
to go home
553
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:33,719
until this thing's done
and dusted.
554
00:26:33,721 --> 00:26:35,521
I mean, I'm not gonna go home
the normal way.
555
00:26:35,523 --> 00:26:37,123
The normal way?
556
00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:39,165
MILO: Well, I'm never gonna
catch up to my mission quota.
557
00:26:39,167 --> 00:26:40,487
Not at this rate.
558
00:26:40,489 --> 00:26:41,768
You have a mission quota?
559
00:26:41,770 --> 00:26:43,970
Yeah, we all do,
don't we?
560
00:26:43,972 --> 00:26:45,452
Where's it at now?
561
00:26:45,454 --> 00:26:46,453
50.
562
00:26:46,455 --> 00:26:48,015
How many
have you flown?
563
00:26:48,017 --> 00:26:51,458
Six, five.
Five or six.
564
00:26:51,460 --> 00:26:53,941
Wow.
565
00:26:53,943 --> 00:26:56,064
When this is all over,
566
00:26:56,066 --> 00:26:57,785
we should go into
business together.
567
00:26:57,787 --> 00:26:59,387
Well, back home?
568
00:26:59,389 --> 00:27:01,269
MILO: Oh, yeah, sure.
Back home, everywhere.
569
00:27:01,271 --> 00:27:02,430
And do what?
570
00:27:02,432 --> 00:27:04,473
Buy things, sell things.
571
00:27:04,475 --> 00:27:06,315
What, sell
amphibious vehicles
572
00:27:06,317 --> 00:27:07,636
to the fishermen of Minnesota?
573
00:27:07,638 --> 00:27:11,160
Sell everything to everyone.
574
00:27:11,162 --> 00:27:13,082
SINGER: ♪ Tu vuo' fa'll'americano ♪
575
00:27:13,084 --> 00:27:16,245
♪ Mericano, mericano ♪
576
00:27:16,247 --> 00:27:18,968
♪ Sient'a mme chi t''o ffa fa' ♪
577
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:24,054
♪ Tu vuoi vivere alla modaMa se bevi whisky and soda ♪
578
00:27:24,056 --> 00:27:26,977
♪ Po' te siente 'e disturba'Tu vuo' fa' ll'american ♪
579
00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:29,059
♪ Tu vuo' fa' ll'american ♪
580
00:27:29,061 --> 00:27:31,142
♪ Whisky and sodae rocchenroll ♪
581
00:27:31,144 --> 00:27:33,705
♪ Whisky and soda erocchenroll ♪
582
00:27:33,707 --> 00:27:36,227
♪ Whisky and sodae rocchenroll ♪
583
00:27:36,229 --> 00:27:39,353
♪ [Renato Carosone's"Tu Vuo' Fa' L'Americano"]
584
00:27:52,127 --> 00:27:54,047
YOSSARIAN: Colonel Korn, sir.
585
00:27:54,049 --> 00:27:55,448
KORN: What can I do for you?
586
00:27:55,450 --> 00:27:57,210
YOSSARIAN: I was just
checking in, sir,
587
00:27:57,212 --> 00:27:59,092
about my, uh--my
discharge papers.
588
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:01,375
Ah, yes.
It was, uh--
589
00:28:01,377 --> 00:28:03,817
It was almost the next thing
I was getting to.
590
00:28:03,819 --> 00:28:06,300
Oh, that's great, sir.
This was--
591
00:28:06,302 --> 00:28:08,983
Remind me, you were--
you were at 50 missions, huh?
592
00:28:08,985 --> 00:28:10,625
Correct, sir.
593
00:28:10,627 --> 00:28:12,146
Oh.
594
00:28:12,148 --> 00:28:15,470
Oh, that could be a problem.
Hmm.
595
00:28:15,472 --> 00:28:17,032
Why would that be a problem,
sir?
596
00:28:17,034 --> 00:28:19,034
Well, the missions
were raised last night.
597
00:28:19,036 --> 00:28:21,038
Didn't you hear?
598
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:24,079
No, uh, sir.
599
00:28:24,081 --> 00:28:25,721
I was in Algeria, sir.
600
00:28:25,723 --> 00:28:27,603
But--But this was already--
these were already put--
601
00:28:27,605 --> 00:28:29,485
Yeah, but the paperwork
hasn't been processed yet,
602
00:28:29,487 --> 00:28:31,808
as apparently is the case
in this instance.
603
00:28:31,810 --> 00:28:33,490
My apologies.
604
00:28:33,492 --> 00:28:36,052
And technically speaking,
you haven't been discharged.
605
00:28:36,054 --> 00:28:37,814
And if you haven't
been discharged,
606
00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:40,738
then technically speaking,
you're still on active duty.
607
00:28:40,740 --> 00:28:42,780
And if you're still
on active duty,
608
00:28:42,782 --> 00:28:46,183
then technically speaking,
you still have to fly
609
00:28:46,185 --> 00:28:48,106
the number of missions
required of you
610
00:28:48,108 --> 00:28:49,787
before you can be discharged.
611
00:28:49,789 --> 00:28:53,872
And as of yesterday,
that number is 55, my friend.
612
00:28:53,874 --> 00:28:55,754
But I did everything right.
613
00:28:55,756 --> 00:28:57,836
It's been such a busy week.
614
00:28:57,838 --> 00:28:59,999
That really is terrible timing.
615
00:29:00,001 --> 00:29:01,560
And, you know what?
I sympathize.
616
00:29:01,562 --> 00:29:03,562
I do.
But you know what?
617
00:29:03,564 --> 00:29:06,085
Think about it this way, right?
618
00:29:06,087 --> 00:29:07,727
Only five more to go.
619
00:29:07,729 --> 00:29:11,413
[laughs]
Right? Yeah.
620
00:29:19,101 --> 00:29:21,862
DUCKETT: What is it you'repretending is wrong this time?
621
00:29:21,864 --> 00:29:24,948
I don't know.
Uh, nothing.
622
00:29:26,589 --> 00:29:28,389
Well, did you manage
to secretly fly
623
00:29:28,391 --> 00:29:29,631
all those missions?
624
00:29:29,633 --> 00:29:31,833
Yeah, actually,
I did.
625
00:29:31,835 --> 00:29:33,996
And then they raised
them again.
626
00:29:33,998 --> 00:29:37,599
[chuckles]
627
00:29:37,601 --> 00:29:40,805
Well, you knew they would.
628
00:29:43,408 --> 00:29:45,528
You expend a lot
of energy, don't you?
629
00:29:45,530 --> 00:29:47,130
Apparently so.
630
00:29:47,132 --> 00:29:49,933
Seems to me that you expend
a lot of energy
631
00:29:49,935 --> 00:29:52,496
railing against things
that you can't control.
632
00:29:52,498 --> 00:29:54,540
And who says
I can't control 'em?
633
00:29:55,941 --> 00:29:58,102
This is war.
634
00:29:58,104 --> 00:30:01,385
It's a law of nature that war
concentrates power in the hands
635
00:30:01,387 --> 00:30:03,227
of those most likely
to abuse it.
636
00:30:03,229 --> 00:30:06,231
Can't overcome that power
while the war's still on.
637
00:30:06,233 --> 00:30:07,512
You just gotta hope
for it to end.
638
00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:09,755
Oh, it's gonna end.
639
00:30:09,757 --> 00:30:11,999
I just still wanna be alive
when it does.
640
00:30:14,321 --> 00:30:20,086
Or, maybe rather than simply
hoping for it to end,
641
00:30:20,088 --> 00:30:23,329
you could just fly
your missions.
642
00:30:23,331 --> 00:30:25,333
Do whatever you can
to end it yourself.
643
00:30:27,656 --> 00:30:30,337
Maybe.
644
00:30:30,339 --> 00:30:33,340
Or maybe you can mind
your own business.
645
00:30:33,342 --> 00:30:35,865
[laughs]
646
00:30:39,068 --> 00:30:41,071
[chuckles]
647
00:30:47,237 --> 00:30:50,281
[plane engines roaring]
648
00:30:50,841 --> 00:30:52,922
Yo-Yo.
649
00:30:52,924 --> 00:30:54,884
I wanted to ask you something.
650
00:30:54,886 --> 00:30:56,966
Oh, yeah?
What's that?
651
00:30:56,968 --> 00:30:59,809
I'm gonna ask Clara
to marry me.
652
00:30:59,811 --> 00:31:02,492
Nately--
Well, what do you think?
653
00:31:02,494 --> 00:31:05,976
I think you're 24 years old,
and she's a prostitute.
654
00:31:05,978 --> 00:31:07,898
Yeah, so?
I love her.
655
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:09,420
Doesn't that mean something?
656
00:31:09,422 --> 00:31:11,942
It means you're not
thinking straight.
657
00:31:11,944 --> 00:31:14,665
I've never felt clearer.
658
00:31:14,667 --> 00:31:16,908
So you're gonna marry
an Italian whore,
659
00:31:16,910 --> 00:31:18,549
you're gonna make a straight
woman of her,
660
00:31:18,551 --> 00:31:20,992
and you're gonna drag her home
to Connecticut?
661
00:31:20,994 --> 00:31:22,434
Connecticut?
662
00:31:22,436 --> 00:31:24,276
What the hell
is the matter with you?
663
00:31:24,278 --> 00:31:26,999
No, this is all amazing.
Here.
664
00:31:27,001 --> 00:31:29,241
The life is amazing.
Sex is amazing.
665
00:31:29,243 --> 00:31:31,924
Italy is the greatest.
We're gonna win the war.
666
00:31:31,926 --> 00:31:34,287
And then I'm gonna use
the GI Bill to stay here,
667
00:31:34,289 --> 00:31:36,089
marry Clara,
and open a restaurant.
668
00:31:36,091 --> 00:31:37,690
You know how this works,
don't you?
669
00:31:37,692 --> 00:31:40,736
You pay her money,
and she doesn't love you.
670
00:31:43,499 --> 00:31:46,540
Well, you weren't there.
What would you know?
671
00:31:46,542 --> 00:31:48,062
YOSSARIAN: Nothing.
Nothing.
672
00:31:48,064 --> 00:31:49,864
NATELY: Oh, fuck, buddy.
673
00:31:49,866 --> 00:31:52,066
You know, I was gonna ask you
to be my best man and all.
674
00:31:52,068 --> 00:31:54,070
Look at this thing.
675
00:31:56,032 --> 00:31:57,792
You're 24.
She's a prostitute.
676
00:31:57,794 --> 00:31:59,474
She's a prostitute now.
677
00:31:59,476 --> 00:32:01,518
She won't be once
I've married her.
678
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,843
Dang, buddy, I am telling
you something big here.
679
00:32:11,369 --> 00:32:13,371
You're right.
680
00:32:13,852 --> 00:32:15,612
This is great.
681
00:32:15,614 --> 00:32:17,133
I'll be your best man.
682
00:32:17,135 --> 00:32:19,818
I'm sorry.
I'm very happy for you.
683
00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:25,745
Thank you.
684
00:32:30,430 --> 00:32:33,473
[booming]
685
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,159
NEW MCWATT: How are we looking?
686
00:32:41,161 --> 00:32:42,801
AARFY: Holding.
NEW KID SAMPSON: Copy that.
687
00:32:42,803 --> 00:32:44,203
NEW MCWATT: That's what you
said a minute ago.
688
00:32:44,205 --> 00:32:45,805
AARFY: Nothing's changed.
We're holding.
689
00:32:45,807 --> 00:32:47,166
Hey, that's the river,
though, right?
690
00:32:47,168 --> 00:32:48,527
Yeah, that's the river.
691
00:32:48,529 --> 00:32:49,849
YOSSARIAN: So, is that
the bridge?
692
00:32:49,851 --> 00:32:51,411
No, different bridge.
693
00:32:51,413 --> 00:32:53,253
Well, how do you know we're
talking about the same bridge?
694
00:32:53,255 --> 00:32:54,654
I'm talking about that bridge.
695
00:32:54,656 --> 00:32:56,416
AARFY: I don't know what bridge
you're talking about,
696
00:32:56,418 --> 00:32:57,738
but it's not the bridge I mean.
697
00:32:57,740 --> 00:32:59,019
YOSSARIAN: But this
is the river, right?
698
00:32:59,021 --> 00:33:00,260
I can't see any other bridges.
699
00:33:00,262 --> 00:33:01,702
'Cause we're not there yet.
700
00:33:01,704 --> 00:33:02,823
YOSSARIAN: How far are we,
goddamn it?
701
00:33:02,825 --> 00:33:03,984
Close.
YOSSARIAN: What?
702
00:33:03,986 --> 00:33:05,146
I said we're close.
703
00:33:05,148 --> 00:33:07,268
Close to what?
The river or the bridge?
704
00:33:07,270 --> 00:33:08,870
I'm seeing the riverdown there.
705
00:33:08,872 --> 00:33:10,872
Come on, guys.
Keep it together up there.
706
00:33:10,874 --> 00:33:12,754
Come again, Bouncin' Betty,
over.
707
00:33:12,756 --> 00:33:14,636
I'm seeing the river
down there.
708
00:33:14,638 --> 00:33:16,118
He ain't talking to you,
Yo-Yo.
709
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,081
This is 7344,
approaching target, over.
710
00:33:19,083 --> 00:33:20,402
YOSSARIAN: What's going on?
711
00:33:20,404 --> 00:33:21,724
Bouncin' Betty,
do you read me?
712
00:33:21,726 --> 00:33:23,526
This is 7344
approaching target.
713
00:33:23,528 --> 00:33:24,887
What's going on
with Bouncin' Betty?
714
00:33:24,889 --> 00:33:26,449
NEW MCWATT: Bouncin' Betty'sbeen hit!
715
00:33:26,451 --> 00:33:27,730
She's going down!
716
00:33:27,732 --> 00:33:29,452
Bouncin' Betty,
that's Orr's plane, isn't it?
717
00:33:29,454 --> 00:33:31,294
Hey--Hey, Aarfy,
Bouncin' Betty is Orr's plane.
718
00:33:31,296 --> 00:33:32,656
Yossarian, are you on
a steady heading?
719
00:33:32,658 --> 00:33:33,817
We're approaching.
720
00:33:33,819 --> 00:33:35,499
Yes, I'm on a steady heading.
721
00:33:35,501 --> 00:33:36,980
Um, is that the bridge?
722
00:33:36,982 --> 00:33:38,742
What's Orr saying?
NEW MCWATT: Who's Orr?
723
00:33:38,744 --> 00:33:40,344
The Bouncin' Betty pilot.
724
00:33:40,346 --> 00:33:43,067
He says both engines are out.
He's taking it over the water.
725
00:33:43,069 --> 00:33:45,269
AARFY: Yossarian,
what's your drift angle?
726
00:33:45,271 --> 00:33:46,791
Uh--
727
00:33:46,793 --> 00:33:48,112
Uh, 12 degrees.
728
00:33:48,114 --> 00:33:49,514
You gonna correct that?
729
00:33:49,516 --> 00:33:50,555
YOSSARIAN: Yes, I'm gonna
correct that.
730
00:33:50,557 --> 00:33:51,716
Affirmative.
731
00:33:51,718 --> 00:33:52,838
NEW MCWATT: That's affirmative.
732
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:54,159
What's affirmative?
733
00:33:54,161 --> 00:33:55,560
He ain't talking to you,
Yo-Yo!
734
00:33:55,562 --> 00:33:57,042
I was talking
to Bouncin' Betty.
735
00:33:57,044 --> 00:33:58,524
They're gonna ditch.
736
00:33:58,526 --> 00:34:00,326
Shit.
737
00:34:00,328 --> 00:34:01,847
AARFY: Yossarian,
that's the bridge.
738
00:34:01,849 --> 00:34:03,089
Are you releasing?
739
00:34:03,091 --> 00:34:04,931
What? That's the bridge?
740
00:34:04,933 --> 00:34:07,453
AARFY: Yeah, that's the bridge.
That's the fucking bridge.
741
00:34:07,455 --> 00:34:08,615
Fuck!
742
00:34:08,617 --> 00:34:09,816
NEW KID SAMPSON: What happened?
743
00:34:09,818 --> 00:34:11,298
He didn't drop the bombs.
744
00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:13,780
He didn't drop
the fucking bombs.
745
00:34:13,782 --> 00:34:16,103
Yankee Doodle, did you miss
your target and drop?
746
00:34:16,105 --> 00:34:18,305
PILOT: Yes, yes, drop.
God damn it.
747
00:34:18,307 --> 00:34:19,386
MAN: God, son of a bitch.
748
00:34:19,388 --> 00:34:20,588
PILOT: God damn it.
749
00:34:20,590 --> 00:34:23,633
[booming]
750
00:34:32,443 --> 00:34:33,802
Hey, did they hit the bridge?
751
00:34:33,804 --> 00:34:35,444
Let's take a look.
752
00:34:35,446 --> 00:34:38,489
[plane engines roaring]
753
00:34:44,496 --> 00:34:46,256
AARFY: They were following
your lead, Yossarian.
754
00:34:46,258 --> 00:34:47,257
They released too late.
755
00:34:47,259 --> 00:34:48,498
Shit.
756
00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:49,900
AARFY: Stunning work,
Yossarian.
757
00:34:49,902 --> 00:34:51,261
Stunning work.
758
00:34:51,263 --> 00:34:53,744
Cathcart'll have us straight
back up here tomorrow.
759
00:34:53,746 --> 00:34:56,148
[plane engines roaring]
760
00:34:57,630 --> 00:35:00,311
Fuck.
Turn us around.
761
00:35:00,313 --> 00:35:01,592
AARFY: What?
762
00:35:01,594 --> 00:35:03,034
YOSSARIAN: Turn us around.
We're going back.
763
00:35:03,036 --> 00:35:04,516
Oh, you gotta be kidding me,
guys!
764
00:35:04,518 --> 00:35:05,677
Back where?
765
00:35:05,679 --> 00:35:06,718
YOSSARIAN: Back to the target.
766
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:07,759
But what for?
767
00:35:07,761 --> 00:35:08,880
YOSSARIAN: To drop the bombs.
768
00:35:08,882 --> 00:35:10,242
Are you serious?
769
00:35:10,244 --> 00:35:12,004
Look, I didn't release,
and they all missed.
770
00:35:12,006 --> 00:35:13,445
I'm really sorry, fellas.
771
00:35:13,447 --> 00:35:15,247
Let's just blow the Christ
out of this fucking bridge
772
00:35:15,249 --> 00:35:16,609
and go home.
773
00:35:16,611 --> 00:35:18,090
Why don't we just go home?
774
00:35:18,092 --> 00:35:20,813
Because I'm not coming back
up here tomorrow, all right?
775
00:35:20,815 --> 00:35:22,535
Motherfucker.
776
00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:25,581
[plane engines rumbling]
777
00:35:26,662 --> 00:35:28,061
This is Yankee Doodle.
778
00:35:28,063 --> 00:35:30,704
We are, uh--we're turning
back to target
779
00:35:30,706 --> 00:35:33,067
and we'll catch up with you.
780
00:35:33,069 --> 00:35:34,588
MAN: Roger that,
Yankee Doodle.
781
00:35:34,590 --> 00:35:36,030
Fly safe.
782
00:35:36,032 --> 00:35:39,075
[plane engines rumbling]
783
00:35:47,765 --> 00:35:50,808
[booming]
784
00:35:52,410 --> 00:35:55,411
[dramatic music]
785
00:35:55,413 --> 00:35:57,093
Christ.
786
00:35:57,095 --> 00:36:01,938
♪ ♪
787
00:36:01,940 --> 00:36:03,139
God damn it.
788
00:36:03,141 --> 00:36:04,901
AARFY: All right,
holding at 4200.
789
00:36:04,903 --> 00:36:07,424
Yossarian approaching quickly.
You got that?
790
00:36:07,426 --> 00:36:08,505
YOSSARIAN: I got it.
791
00:36:08,507 --> 00:36:10,628
[cannons booming]
792
00:36:10,630 --> 00:36:11,869
All right.
793
00:36:11,871 --> 00:36:14,312
AARFY: Holding steady,
266.
794
00:36:14,314 --> 00:36:17,115
YOSSARIAN: Okay, holding
steady. Holding course.
795
00:36:17,117 --> 00:36:18,156
Holy shit.
796
00:36:18,158 --> 00:36:20,639
AARFY: 30 seconds to target.
797
00:36:20,641 --> 00:36:22,641
YOSSARIAN: Holding.
798
00:36:22,643 --> 00:36:24,363
Hold.
799
00:36:24,365 --> 00:36:26,205
AARFY: Come on, Yo-Yo!
800
00:36:26,207 --> 00:36:28,447
Blast that bridge so we can get
the fuck out of this shit!
801
00:36:28,449 --> 00:36:30,730
♪ ♪
802
00:36:30,732 --> 00:36:31,731
YOSSARIAN: Hold.
803
00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:33,813
♪ ♪
804
00:36:33,815 --> 00:36:35,735
Hold.
805
00:36:35,737 --> 00:36:37,297
♪ ♪
806
00:36:37,299 --> 00:36:38,818
Hold still, you fuck.
807
00:36:38,820 --> 00:36:41,822
[dramatic music]
808
00:36:41,824 --> 00:36:42,823
♪ ♪
809
00:36:42,825 --> 00:36:44,264
And...
810
00:36:44,266 --> 00:36:47,388
♪ ♪
811
00:36:47,390 --> 00:36:48,509
Release.
812
00:36:48,511 --> 00:36:52,153
[booming]
813
00:36:52,155 --> 00:36:53,554
And we're off.
814
00:36:53,556 --> 00:36:55,196
All right,
get us out of here.
815
00:36:55,198 --> 00:36:58,199
[booming]
816
00:36:58,201 --> 00:37:05,209
♪ ♪
817
00:37:06,250 --> 00:37:11,494
[booming]
818
00:37:11,496 --> 00:37:13,056
[Nately screaming]
819
00:37:13,058 --> 00:37:16,059
AARFY: Jesus Christ,
what the fuck was that?
820
00:37:16,061 --> 00:37:17,420
NATELY: Yo-Yo!
821
00:37:17,422 --> 00:37:18,622
Nately!
822
00:37:18,624 --> 00:37:20,544
[Nately screams]
Nately, are you okay?
823
00:37:20,546 --> 00:37:22,946
NATELY: Yo-Yo!
No!
824
00:37:22,948 --> 00:37:24,909
[Nately screaming]
825
00:37:24,911 --> 00:37:31,115
♪ ♪
826
00:37:31,117 --> 00:37:34,839
[Yossarian grunting]
827
00:37:34,841 --> 00:37:37,803
♪ ♪
828
00:37:37,805 --> 00:37:39,284
Oh, fuck.
829
00:37:39,286 --> 00:37:41,847
NATELY: Yo-Yo!
Yo-Yo, throw me something!
830
00:37:41,849 --> 00:37:44,930
Oh!
Nately!
831
00:37:44,932 --> 00:37:47,133
Hang on!
832
00:37:47,135 --> 00:37:49,215
Nately!
833
00:37:49,217 --> 00:37:51,698
Nately, hold on!
834
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:54,020
Come on!
Give me your hand!
835
00:37:54,022 --> 00:37:56,062
NATELY: Come on, I'm stuck!
Yo-Yo, please!
836
00:37:56,064 --> 00:37:57,704
Come on!
YOSSARIAN: God damn it!
837
00:37:57,706 --> 00:37:58,825
Yo-Yo, please!
838
00:37:58,827 --> 00:38:00,908
Hey, get me a rope!
839
00:38:00,910 --> 00:38:03,791
[rumbling]
840
00:38:03,793 --> 00:38:10,841
♪ ♪
841
00:38:13,644 --> 00:38:16,725
[groaning]
842
00:38:16,727 --> 00:38:18,006
[screaming]
843
00:38:18,008 --> 00:38:21,052
[wind howling]
844
00:38:27,939 --> 00:38:30,940
[woman singing in Italian]
845
00:38:30,942 --> 00:38:37,990
♪ ♪
846
00:39:32,089 --> 00:39:39,137
♪ ♪
847
00:39:39,139 --> 00:39:44,139
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