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1
00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,640
[indistinct chatter]
2
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,960
Nice of you to join us, Shauny.
3
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,560
OK, team, now that Shauny's here,
4
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:18,360
I'd like to officially welcome you
to our brand new store!
5
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,040
And that's not all.
6
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:29,400
I'd also like to welcome you to
our very own security guard.
7
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:33,480
Let's have a huge Electroworld
welcome... to Vish!
8
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,480
I will protect this store
with my life.
9
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:43,040
You don't need to worry about
anything anymore.
10
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,200
If anyone try to mess with you...
11
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,520
I will kill them.
12
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,160
No one can touch anything.
13
00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:01,520
OK, Vish... I'm not sure
that's necessary.
14
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,360
Now, Adsy's gotta
go through a few things.
15
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:05,840
-Adsy.
-OK, OK.
16
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,440
Guys, now, I've spoken
a lot about this
17
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,040
over the past few weeks
18
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,800
and you probably all know
what I'm gonna say.
19
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,440
Anyone?
20
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,760
Extended warranties.
21
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,280
We need you guys
pushing those warranties.
22
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,240
That's where our
profit margin is, guys.
23
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,080
And we're all in this together.
24
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,520
Now, our Legend of the Week
last week,
25
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,600
with a whopping 54 warranties,
26
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,080
the big man himself,
the Brettinator!
27
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,600
-Hey!
-Whoa!
28
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,080
[imitates gunfire]
29
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,160
Now, you could learn a thing
or two from this guy.
30
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,640
He's an animal out there.
31
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,640
And that's what all you guys
need to be doing
32
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,640
to get us to number one store
in the region.
33
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,240
Well done, mate. Well done.
34
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,800
Now, lastly, I must say...
35
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,920
that all you guys look really snazzy
in your new uniforms.
36
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,640
Absolutely sensational!
37
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,480
Now, I just have to
let everyone know
38
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,400
Forty-eight dollars is gonna be
deducted from next week's pay.
39
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,840
-Gary, are you serious?
-Come on, Gary!
40
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,480
It's out of my hands.
41
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,480
So let's just get out there
and have a huge one.
42
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,120
[theme music playing]
43
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,760
-It's small but it's heavy.
-It's not small.
44
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,840
Mate, look, it's a thin
fucking cardboard thing.
45
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,400
This is not cylindrical.
I am a cylindrical-cocked man.
46
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,280
You're a fucking idiot.
Whatever.
47
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,480
Anyway, that is my cock size.
Yours is little.
48
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,160
-Tess!
-[Tess] Don't even try.
49
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,080
Oh, my God, someone's on
their rags today, aren't they?
50
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,880
So, what's going on, cock heads?
51
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,560
Winno, what's going on
with you and Tess?
52
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,480
Nothing.
53
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,120
Why, what have you heard?
54
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,640
He's heard what everyone
in the store's heard.
55
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,600
That you told Tess you could get
in her pants because Brett did.
56
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:52,960
Nice!
57
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,560
Why in the world
would you do that, mate?
58
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,520
I mean, I thought you guys
were good friends.
59
00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:00,560
We were good friends, but
in case you haven't noticed,
60
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,840
girls like to be treated like shit.
61
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,600
So I got some pointers off Brett.
62
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,080
-Fist me.
-Yeah, you did.
63
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,000
Pretty soon,
with a little bit of practice,
64
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,920
this guy's gonna be
reeking of pussy too.
65
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:12,440
Yeah, boy! Touch wood,
touch wood, touch wood!
66
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,160
-Mate, would you stop doing that?
-Don't be such a pussy.
67
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,160
Mate, are you really gonna take
68
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,120
relationship advice off this guy?
69
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,680
Well, no offence, Shaun,
70
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,200
but how many women have you
boned in the last... five years?
71
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:28,320
What's that? Oh, yeah.
I think... I think it's one.
72
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,320
Yeah, I don't mean to be rude,
73
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,720
but that would still be one more
than you, though, wouldn't it?
74
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,520
-[Both] Ooh!
-Shut the hell up, OK?
75
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,960
I'm sick of always being
the cute friend.
76
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,440
You know, I'm sick of
always hearing,
77
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,040
"You're just like my brother."
78
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,840
Fuck that!
79
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,200
The only place that has gotten me
80
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,840
is my bedroom, alone,
81
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,800
beating off to Chun-Li cosplay pics.
82
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,480
Hadoken.
83
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,080
Mate, you haven't actually
thought about talking to her?
84
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,640
You know, like an adult would.
85
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,120
No. Why would I, Shaun?
86
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,400
I just told you that chicks like
being treated like shit
87
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,440
and that's what I'm gonna
be doing from now on.
88
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,040
OK, and you'll be losing
a good friend in the process.
89
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,040
Clever. Very clever.
90
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,280
Excuse me, guys.
Can I get some help?
91
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,800
Yeah, I'll give it to ya.
92
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,000
-[woman] Sorry, what?
-Help. I'll give ya some help.
93
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,519
[woman chuckles] Oh, good. I'm looking
for a present for my husband.
94
00:04:17,519 --> 00:04:19,000
And she's yours.
95
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,480
[Brett sighs]
96
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,800
Hi.
97
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,440
And that's all done!
See you. Bye.
98
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,240
Oh, my God, did you hear about
99
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,800
Winston and Tess'
little lovers' quarrel?
100
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,720
I know! Isn't it cute?
101
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,800
Cute? Are you serious?
102
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,560
No. No, I mean, like...
103
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,000
Yeah, as if we really even care!
104
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,600
Like, that's cute!
105
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,080
It is so pathetic!
106
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,000
She acts like
she's this little princess
107
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,240
and meanwhile, she's banging Brett
and God knows who else.
108
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,200
-She is such a slut!
-Such a slut.
109
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,160
-Oh! Tess!
-Hey, guys.
110
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,920
Babe, hey.
I heard about you and Winston.
111
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,120
I just want you to know
if you need anything...
112
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,320
a hug or a chat
or a girls' night out,
113
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,080
you just say the word, OK?
114
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,440
Oh, that's so sweet, Beeanka.
115
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,680
Thanks, guys!
116
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,160
[Beeanka] No worries! Bye!
117
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,440
Excellent.
Well, you have a fantastic day.
118
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,040
-Yeah, no worries. Thank you.
-Thank you.
119
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,280
-Excuse me.
-Yes, how's your day going, sir?
120
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,960
Not great.
121
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,360
OK. Is there something
I can help you with or...?
122
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,040
The fuck would you call this?
123
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,920
Well?
124
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,720
-Toast.
-Toast?!
125
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,080
You'd call this toast?
It's charcoal, mate!
126
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,520
OK, so you burnt the toast.
127
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,880
I burnt it 'cause
you rip-off merchants
128
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,960
sold me a faulty toaster!
129
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,560
OK, mate, if you wouldn't mind
calming down--
130
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,480
Don't tell me what to do!
131
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,000
It's pricks like you
that rip people off.
132
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,800
OK, so you're gonna come in here,
have a go at me.
133
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,360
I don't know anything about what--
134
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,400
Shaun, Shaun, Shaun.
What's going on here?
135
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,120
-[Gary] Is everything alright?
-Who the hell's this?
136
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,080
My name is Gary, sir,
and I'm the manager.
137
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,160
Oh, great! Maybe someone
with half a brain. Look at this!
138
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,360
Oh! That's very burnt, isn't it?
139
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,240
-Shaun, did you see this?
-Yes, he showed me.
140
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,280
How am I expected
to eat this shit?
141
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,640
Oh, no, no.
You wouldn't eat this.
142
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,160
You wouldn't eat this,
would you, Shaun?
143
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,920
Well, this popped out of this
and I bought it here yesterday.
144
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:26,280
This came from one of ours?
145
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,680
[yelling] Yes!
146
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,280
So, what are you gonna
do for me?
147
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:34,320
Shauny, let's get this tested, mate.
Run and grab some bread.
148
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,160
I really don't think
we need to do that.
149
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,760
I think maybe the dial
might have been
150
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,560
turned up too high on the side.
151
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,240
Are you telling me I don't know
how to use a fucking toaster?
152
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,520
Look, Shaun, just run
and grab some bread, mate.
153
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,520
Just run and grab some bread.
154
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,920
Gary, it's a 20 dollar toaster.
155
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,720
Last week you got me to replace
156
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,000
a 300 dollar camera
that worked perfectly.
157
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,360
Just replace it
and get rid of the joker!
158
00:06:58,360 --> 00:06:59,840
Brother, brother, I know, I know.
159
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:03,600
But head office are
clamping down on returns.
160
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:08,280
I got a memo yesterday saying
all returns have to be tested.
161
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:11,280
Now, just run and grab
some bread, mate.
162
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,760
[whispers] Just run
and grab some bread.
163
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,240
It'll be right...
164
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,240
[Shaun sighs]
165
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,120
Fuck, Darren!
You scared the shit out of me!
166
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,240
Where the fuck
do you think you're going?
167
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,880
What do you mean?
168
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,960
Where are you going
with that loaf of bread?
169
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,120
-To toast it.
-Where?
170
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,000
-On the sales floor.
-Shaun, are you taking the piss?
171
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,680
No, Darren, I'm not,
but you're starting
172
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,280
to scare the shit out of me, mate.
173
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,280
Some dickhead's trying
to bring back a toaster,
174
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:38,760
so we've gotta test it.
175
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,960
Have a look at
the loaf of bread, Shaun.
176
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,520
What am I looking for...
177
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,440
Oh, this is your bread!
178
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,800
-Yeah.
-OK. Sorry, mate.
179
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,800
I honestly didn't know.
180
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,120
-I'll ask you next time.
-Yeah, just, um...
181
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,600
There's not gonna be a next time.
182
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,160
You see, there's not even gonna
be a fuckin' this time, mate.
183
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,000
You don't steal...
another man's loaf of bread!
184
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,760
Darren, I am really sorry, mate.
185
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,120
May I please have
a piece of your bread?
186
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,320
Nuh.
187
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,880
-Seriously?
-Nuh.
188
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,360
Fuck off.
189
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,920
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
190
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,720
Fuck your bread!
191
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,159
Hmm, yeah, I don't know.
192
00:08:43,159 --> 00:08:45,080
It's so hard to choose.
193
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,280
-[chuckles] It's a kettle.
-Yeah.
194
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,280
So, which is the better
out of these two?
195
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,920
Uh... Probably this one.
196
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:56,680
-This one? Alright.
-Yeah. Yeah.
197
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,240
OK.
198
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,520
So, like, how does...
How does this work?
199
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:08,320
Oh, right. It has springs...
opening that. Is th...
200
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,840
Which heats up the fastest?
201
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,840
Well, the one that heats up
the quickest--
202
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,280
Winno, can I borrow you
for two seconds?
203
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,160
Adam, I'm just with a customer
at the moment.
204
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,600
Oh, no, no. It's OK.
I'm gonna be thinking for a while.
205
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,000
-Yeah? OK.
-Great. Thank you.
206
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,600
-Now.
-OK.
207
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,120
Hey, buddy!
How are those sales going?
208
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,560
Yeah, yeah, not bad, actually. Yeah.
209
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,600
Mmm? Yeah, well...
210
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,680
Actually, this says
they aren't going great.
211
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,160
Really?
212
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,440
Not to mention your items per sale
is pretty... [groans]
213
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,680
[groans and chuckles]
Also, mate... no warranties.
214
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,160
Come on, mate. What's the story?
215
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,080
-Well, look, I--
-Look, I get it.
216
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,480
You see a guy like me
and you think, "He's made it!"
217
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,280
-Yeah.
-"He's got it all!"
218
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,960
But.. shocker!
I'm just like you.
219
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,440
I'm cool. I'm not all business.
220
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:04,440
You know, I've got an Xbox.
I've watched... Archer.
221
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,760
You know, I share memes
with all my friends.
222
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,240
-Harambe!
-Right?
223
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,720
But I know when to buckle down
224
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,520
and I know when to get the job done.
225
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,120
Now, don't just sell this woman a kettle.
226
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,480
Let's get those items per sale up
and get that warranty!
227
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,800
You want me to pitch a warranty
on a kettle?
228
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,920
There you go!
229
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,680
You can't put a price
on peace of mind, Winno.
230
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:29,160
I'm glad we had this chat, mate.
231
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,720
I've got a feeling
somebody's gonna be
232
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,800
smashing those warranties
out of the park from now on!
233
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,600
Yeah. Thanks, Adam.
234
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,160
You're welcome! [clicks tongue]
235
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,120
So, how'd you go?
236
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,720
Ahh! It's so hard to choose!
237
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,800
[chuckles] Oh, I know. Yeah.
238
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,280
So does one... stay hot longer?
239
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,040
Does one cool down faster
than the other or...
240
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,280
I honestly couldn't tell you.
I'm so sorry.
241
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,760
OK. Hmm.
242
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,160
I'm just gonna go for this one.
243
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:08,120
Great! Yes, you did it.
We did it! [laughs]
244
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,400
Phew! What a relief, hey? Hey? Great.
245
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:15,040
Uh... Great!
246
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:19,000
Uh... Now that you have
the kettle,
247
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,480
what if something were to...
happen to it?
248
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,600
Like what?
249
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,880
Like, what if it were to,
I don't know... break?
250
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,360
But surely it's under a warranty
or something like that?
251
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,600
Yes, you're right. But that's
only for the first two years.
252
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,760
What about after that?
253
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,000
You know, for 50 dollars,
you can extend your warranty
254
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,480
to up to five years.
255
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,480
-Crazy.
-That's... more than the kettle.
256
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,880
Hey, you can't put a price
on a peace of mind.
257
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,520
I don't think you're
very good at your job.
258
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,200
Sorry.
259
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:03,840
[Winston] At least it was honest.
260
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,800
How'd you go?
261
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,760
Yeah, she thinks I'm a moron.
262
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,960
I mean, the warranty is more than
263
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,480
double the price of the kettle itself.
264
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,280
Well, did you tell her you can't
put a price on peace of mind?
265
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,280
[sighs] Yes. Adam.
266
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,640
Maybe you just need
more confidence.
267
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,280
Shoulders back.
268
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,640
-You're a sloucher.
-My dad was a sloucher.
269
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,120
-Yeah?
-I get it from him.
270
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,080
OK, mate.
We'll chat about that later. OK.
271
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,920
About fucking time, mate.
272
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,920
What, did you go off and bake
the bread yourself or something?
273
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,800
OK. Let's just fire this lot up.
274
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,960
Oh, look, the dial on the side
is turned right up.
275
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,440
Yeah, I like it well done.
Not burnt.
276
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,280
Did you try any of
the other settings?
277
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,480
No! I just took it back
when it burnt my fuckin' toast!
278
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,200
OK, OK. Let's just...
Let's just see how this lot goes.
279
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,960
OK? Let's just see
how this lot goes.
280
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,880
See what I mean?
Burnt to a crisp.
281
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,160
Oh, yes.
That is burnt, isn't it?
282
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:42,720
Mmm, well, you might find
if we just turn the dial down a bit,
283
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,720
it won't actually
burn the toast.
284
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,720
I shouldn't have to.
285
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,640
OK, Gary.
What are we doing, mate?
286
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,160
-Are we replacing it or what?
-Yep. Let's replace it.
287
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,640
Well, shouldn't I be compensated?
288
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,120
You know, for my trouble.
289
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,640
Trouble? What trouble?
290
00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,240
I had to come all the way down here
and deal with this fuckin' shit!
291
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,960
Mate, this whole thing
could have been avoided
292
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,440
if you'd just turned the dial down!
293
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,920
OK, OK.
294
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,560
Look, you can have
a toaster of your choosing,
295
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,040
any toaster within the store.
296
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,520
How's that?
297
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,280
What about an Xbox or something?
298
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,080
-What, an Xbox?
-[man] Why not?
299
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,080
No, no, no...
300
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,880
You know, I could go to
A Current Affair and tell them
301
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,080
you pricks sell dodgy
fuckin' toasters.
302
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,480
[sighs]
303
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,760
You can pick any toaster
that you like.
304
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,720
Any toaster in the store.
How's that?
305
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,200
What's the most expensive toaster
you've got?
306
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,840
I'll take that.
307
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,520
Of course, sir.
Shaun can look after you there.
308
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,200
Thanks, Shaun.
309
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,680
Of course I can. [sighs]
310
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,160
This way.
311
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,520
What about your mum?
312
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,960
What about her?
313
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,920
Well, you gonna treat her
like shit too?
314
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,720
I'm not really trying to get her
into bed with me, am I?
315
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,480
OK. But let me
get this straight.
316
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,520
You and Tess, you hang out
almost every day at work.
317
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,880
-Mm-hm.
-You've become good friends.
318
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,360
But you want something more.
319
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,320
She seems to want something more.
320
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,280
But you don't do anything about it.
321
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,240
Then she hooks up with Brett
at the Christmas party.
322
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,920
Then, because Brett
treats girls like shit,
323
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,880
you decide that you're gonna
treat Tess like shit
324
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,560
because you think this will take you
from the friend zone
325
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,160
to the sex zone, like Brett.
326
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,640
You're right,
it does sound pretty mental
327
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,200
when you put it like that, yeah.
328
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,000
And you haven't talked to her
about any of this.
329
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,720
No! Why would I speak to Tess
about this?
330
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,440
I mean, you know, after she...
porked Brett, I mean, I...
331
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,480
Look, I don't care anymore, OK?
I just don't.
332
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,960
[sighs]
333
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,480
Maybe I do.
334
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,920
Maybe she was my...
Maybe she was my dream girl.
335
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:57,440
Dream girl? [scoffs]
What are you fairies talking about?
336
00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,320
I... I was... I was
kind of into Tess.
337
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,600
Tess was your dream girl?
338
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,240
-Yeah.
-[Brett laughs]
339
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,360
Mate, I did you a favour
by smashing her, then.
340
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:12,520
Sorry, but, Brett, how is...
how is boning my dream girl
341
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,080
doing me any favours or justice?
342
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,600
Winno, mate,
sometimes I swear to God
343
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,280
you are as naive as a chick
getting roofied on schoolies.
344
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,760
Boys, you never go for
your dream girl, OK?
345
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,240
Why not?
346
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,080
Because your dream girl's
up on a pedestal, alright?
347
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,960
She's the one
with all the power.
348
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,600
I mean, you know, you worship
the ground that she walks on.
349
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,080
You care about what she
thinks, you know.
350
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,600
You try and dress
to impress her.
351
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,080
You're worried about
where she is.
352
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,080
If some other guy looks at her,
you get jealous.
353
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,560
It's fuckin' pathetic.
354
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,040
I mean, not to mention,
355
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,960
I mean, if you're thinking
that she's your dream girl,
356
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,080
she is sure as hell not thinking
that you're her dream man.
357
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,360
So someone's gotta settle.
358
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,920
And if she settles for you,
359
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,720
she's the one
with all the power, right?
360
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,920
-So...
-Right. Hey, um...
361
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,560
So you gotta go
find yourself someone
362
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,360
that's hot enough to bang
363
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,760
and, you know, someone that
you like enough to keep around,
364
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,440
but she's down a few notches.
365
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,920
So that way...
366
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,200
you're the one that's up
on the pedestal, right?
367
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,560
Hey? You're the one
with all the power.
368
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,480
You know? I mean,
she's wondering where you are.
369
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,720
You know, she's getting freaky
in the bedroom, right,
370
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,720
so that you won't think
about other women.
371
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,520
You know, she's gonna
be cooking you shit,
372
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,359
mmm, buying you shit,
you know what I mean?
373
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,400
No, can't say that I do, no.
374
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,680
-That made no sense.
-Ah, well. I tried to tell ya.
375
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,440
-See you, boys.
-[grunts]
376
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,480
I'm sorry. It's OK.
377
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,760
Dude, I'm never gonna have children.
Fuck me.
378
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:34,760
It's alright.
379
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,760
Hey, guys. Can one of you guys
pop this through for me, please?
380
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,520
We'll take that off your hands, mate.
381
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,720
Great, fantastic. Uh, I just
need a receipt, please, sir.
382
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,680
I don't have a receipt.
383
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,000
-Of course you don't.
-What was that supposed to mean?
384
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,840
It means I should have just assumed
385
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,080
you didn't have your receipt.
386
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,680
Listen, mate,
I got conned by this store
387
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,160
into buying a faulty toaster
388
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,600
and all I get from you is attitude.
389
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,840
Mate, why don't you take
your shiny new toaster home,
390
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,320
run yourself a nice, long bath
391
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,440
and see what happens when you
run the toaster under the water,
392
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,400
you stupid, inbred fuck!
393
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,760
Are you listening to me?
394
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:23,120
No. Not really.
395
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,840
But I can say
have a fantastic evening
396
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,120
and why not treat yourself to a bath
when you get home?
397
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,240
-A bath?
-Yeah.
398
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,680
Think about it.
399
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,960
Well, here we are at
the end of another day in retail
400
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,280
and again, like every day,
401
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:50,560
there is some idiot oblivious
to the fact that we are closing.
402
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,400
Some people just
will not take a hint.
403
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,760
'Scuse me, sir,
just letting you know
404
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,480
we're closing
in a couple of minutes.
405
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,080
Alright.
406
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,840
And there we have it. All done.
407
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:08,160
Oh, look at that! 5:29.
One whole minute for--
408
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,120
Excuse me, mate.
Are you guys open at all?
409
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:12,760
No, we're not! Fuck off!
410
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,040
Hello? You open?
411
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,600
Yeah.
412
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,080
Sweet.
413
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,040
[whispers] Fuck!
31170
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