All language subtitles for Cuckoo - 04x01 - Lawyer of the Year.iP.WEB-DL-RTN.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,900 I've got a good feeling about today. 2 00:00:37,940 --> 00:00:41,419 - Hiya. - Hi, guys. Hey, man! 3 00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:42,899 Oh, sorry. 4 00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:40,379 Morning, Chief Ken! 5 00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:41,899 It's a beautiful day, isn't it? 6 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:43,180 I'm sure. Give me a minute. 7 00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:50,099 No, no, no! It can't be! It can't be! 8 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:51,659 Ah! 9 00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:53,979 - Woo-hoo! - What's going on? 10 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:57,499 It's me! I've been nominated for Lawyer of the Year! 11 00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:01,340 Woo-hoo-hoo! Je suis the King! Yes! 12 00:02:12,528 --> 00:02:18,258 Subs by btsix www.addic7ed.com 13 00:02:18,260 --> 00:02:21,259 Tea for the King. Why, thank you. 14 00:02:21,260 --> 00:02:23,099 You little beauty! 15 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:26,812 Just imagine, Chief Ken, Best Lawyer in the Country! 16 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,539 Well, it's Lichfield. 17 00:02:28,540 --> 00:02:30,858 - Lichfield Lawyer of the Year. - Oh, got it. 18 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,779 So it's not half as big of a deal as I thought. Well... 19 00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:35,579 Still, Chief Ken, I'm excited for you to collect your prize, 20 00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:37,459 meagre though it may be. 21 00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:40,739 Every year, we just get drunk and bored at that fancy black tie do. 22 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:42,899 - This will give it all meaning. - Right. 23 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,499 Oi! It's our charity that runs that ceremony. 24 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,539 Me and Nina work very hard to get you drunk, Mum. 25 00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:49,859 Or at least I do. 26 00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:51,339 Nina networks. 27 00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:52,739 Network Nina! 28 00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,339 OK, Mum. Move your arse! 29 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:58,179 Dylan, your father has been nominated for an award! 30 00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:01,619 Oh! Congratulations! Loser of the Year? 31 00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:03,659 It's great you're finally getting recognised. 32 00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:05,179 Right. You work in phone sales. 33 00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:07,139 Your monthly wage couldn't buy a Mars Bar, 34 00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:09,259 and you're getting a lift to work with your mother. 35 00:03:09,260 --> 00:03:11,859 Money's tight, but he's not scrimping on hair gel, is he? 36 00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:13,739 Well, I can't help being a baller, Rach. 37 00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:15,179 God gave me balls, 38 00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:16,219 and I ball with them. 39 00:03:16,220 --> 00:03:19,019 Do you think your balls might give me some rent some time? 40 00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:20,739 Do you think you might suck my balls? 41 00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:22,379 Dylan! 42 00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:24,739 You should have let me hit him when he was smaller. 43 00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:26,259 I bloody should have done! 44 00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:27,300 - Mwah. - Bye, love. 45 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,379 Chief Ken, could I accompany you to work? 46 00:03:31,380 --> 00:03:33,219 I just... I have a small matter to discuss. 47 00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:34,699 All right, OK, hop to it, then. 48 00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:36,140 - You can take that. - OK. 49 00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:46,259 This award should really change things. 50 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,519 Jane has been totally undermining me 51 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,539 since I got back from paternity leave. 52 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,581 It'll be nice to remind people about 53 00:03:52,583 --> 00:03:55,699 who is senior partner and who is NOT senior partner! 54 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,219 You are senior partner, Chief Ken. 55 00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,460 You know I am, right? 56 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,139 Dale, are you all right? 57 00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:06,099 You don't seem to be your usual sickeningly cheerful self. 58 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:09,139 Me? Yeah, everything's fine. 59 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,119 I'm absolutely doodle dandy! 60 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,661 - Right. - OK. 61 00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:19,140 Wait, Dale! Dale! 62 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,899 What the hell is going on? And who's he? 63 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,339 I'm sorry, Chief Ken, 64 00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:33,979 I have so many tummy butterflies, the words aren't coming out. 65 00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:35,979 Right, well, get on with it. 66 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:37,939 This is my workplace! 67 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:40,979 Chief Ken, I have inhabited your home for several years now. 68 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:43,640 And I've recently been joined in romantic union with your daughter, 69 00:04:43,642 --> 00:04:44,979 as my father was before me. 70 00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,973 Yeah, probably best to keep schtum about that one. 71 00:04:46,975 --> 00:04:48,939 So... 72 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:53,339 I was wondering, Chief Ken Thompson, would you do me the honour 73 00:04:53,340 --> 00:04:56,979 of permitting me, Dale Ashbrick, to propose to your daughter? 74 00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:58,259 Is this why you're kneeling? 75 00:04:58,260 --> 00:04:59,819 I wanted to do it the traditional way. 76 00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:04,619 Mate, you and Rachel are great together. 77 00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:07,619 It's just... should your focus be wedding rings when you haven't 78 00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:10,060 got a job and you're sharing my bathroom? 79 00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:13,859 Wow! 80 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:16,099 Tough truths, Chief Ken. 81 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,659 I clearly did not think this one through. 82 00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,619 That is super unlike me. 83 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:23,459 There's plenty of time to get married. 84 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:24,500 All right? 85 00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:30,859 You're so right, Chief Ken. 86 00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:34,259 I'm going to get the best job that has ever existed, bar none. 87 00:05:34,260 --> 00:05:36,619 Then propose to your daughter and live happily ever after 88 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:37,860 in Lichfield, England. 89 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:41,659 OK. 90 00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:43,660 I paid for the whole day follow me. 91 00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:02,300 On the what?! 92 00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:10,939 Oh, Ken, there you are! Hi, guys. 93 00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:14,019 I've just seen the new Meet the Team board out in the lobby. 94 00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:17,739 Two things, one, why does my photo look like I'm drunk? 95 00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:21,019 And two, my motto makes zero sense. 96 00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:22,779 It's the motto you wanted. 97 00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:24,579 It says, "On the Whole!" 98 00:06:24,580 --> 00:06:26,819 - Why would I want that as my motto? - Let's see. 99 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:31,179 I asked for three words that sum up your approach. 100 00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:33,699 Yes, your e-mail read, "On the whole, 101 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:37,459 "I'd say the most important part of the job, yadda yadda." 102 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:40,219 Obviously, I had to do an edit. Oh, obviously! 103 00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:43,379 Also, you sent your photo in the wrong format, but Noel had 104 00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:44,739 a snap from the Christmas party. 105 00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:46,699 Got your back, bro! 106 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,099 Well, that is a shame 107 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:50,339 because all of that's going to have to come down. 108 00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:52,179 Is this some ego thing? 109 00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:53,459 No. 110 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:56,819 It's about putting our shiniest product in the shop window. 111 00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:58,019 And that is me. 112 00:06:58,020 --> 00:06:59,819 Because... 113 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:07,619 Well, I have been nominated for Lawyer of the Year. 114 00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:09,339 Boo-ya! 115 00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:11,699 Wow, Ken! That's actually impressive. 116 00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:13,259 Yes, it is, isn't it? 117 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:16,579 Looks like old Ken is still quite the asset. 118 00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:21,699 Oh, Ken, you know how valued you are. Oh, look, snap! 119 00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:22,980 I've been nominated too. 120 00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:25,339 What? 121 00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:26,619 Lawyer of the Year. 122 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,139 We're both up for it. 123 00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:30,619 That IS great news! 124 00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:32,539 I love that news! 125 00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:35,059 All other news should be cancelled because that is... 126 00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:36,299 ...that's the best news. 127 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:37,939 Oh! 128 00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:39,539 Three cheers for us. 129 00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:40,580 Hip hip! 130 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,300 Hip hip! ALL: Hooray! 131 00:07:48,580 --> 00:07:51,499 So your first job was as a cult member. Mm-hm. 132 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,899 Then you spent six months working for... 133 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,659 The Triads, right. 134 00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:57,899 They're an international criminal organisation 135 00:07:57,900 --> 00:08:00,619 specialising in drug smuggling and extortion. 136 00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:02,220 These days, I'm a child minder. 137 00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:07,499 Skills, black belt kung fu, torture technique, 138 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,179 large repertoire of nursery rhymes. 139 00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:13,099 It also says here, unspecified skill. Oh, yeah. 140 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,340 Right. It's this. 141 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:23,099 I mean, do you know what that's called? 142 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,899 Maybe just put shoe whirly thing. 143 00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,859 So what do you reckon? 144 00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:30,579 I was thinking maybe a train driver or something in high finance. 145 00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:32,219 I can put you in the system. 146 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:36,819 But my advice would be go away and work on yourself. 147 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,140 Really quite a lot. 148 00:08:42,460 --> 00:08:44,779 "..Behaviour as to avoid followership, 149 00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,659 "this occurs when firms develop..." 150 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:49,579 "..All about establishing the fact of disciplines and processes..." 151 00:08:49,580 --> 00:08:52,619 "..If a business already has a genuinely differentiated offering, 152 00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:54,259 "it is wise to follow..." 153 00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:56,899 "..Behaviour as to avoid followership..." 154 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:59,100 "..Injustice clear in business. Most..." 155 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,339 What's all this? 156 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:03,659 Such a good day! 157 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,699 I started looking for a new job. Oh! 158 00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:07,971 Unfortunately, I'm not maximalised for the job market 159 00:09:07,973 --> 00:09:09,779 due to the fact I possess zero education. 160 00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:11,859 - Problem there. - No problem there, though. 161 00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:15,059 Because today I found out there are people who are wildly 162 00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:17,299 successful with no training or meaningful education. 163 00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:21,022 They call themselves Americans, and today I read all their books. 164 00:09:21,023 --> 00:09:23,770 All of these? Yeah. Dale, that's amazing! 165 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,334 Yeah, I only managed two this morning, 166 00:09:25,336 --> 00:09:26,979 but then I read one on speed-reading, 167 00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:28,339 and then things really took off. 168 00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:31,059 Rachel, I have learnt the secrets of business. 169 00:09:31,060 --> 00:09:32,379 I learnt the rules of power. 170 00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:35,299 I learnt the power of Yes, and the rules of the power of Yes. 171 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:37,676 And the most important thing I learnt... 172 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:40,459 is I can do this! 173 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:41,539 You can do what? 174 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:44,579 This! Right here! Maybe I'm already doing it! 175 00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:45,619 I don't know! 176 00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:49,299 Dale! You don't need to rush into anything. 177 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,979 I'm working. We've got all that nannying money saved up. 178 00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:53,979 - Yeah. - Mum's home! 179 00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:57,939 I picked up some champers so we can celebrate your dad's award. 180 00:09:57,940 --> 00:10:00,339 All right, Dale? Good day? 181 00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:03,099 My day was wonderful, Lorna. Thank you for asking. 182 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,699 Right. There's something a bit different about you. 183 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,819 No magic to it, Lorn! 184 00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:09,939 Just eye contact and meticulously brushed teeth. 185 00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:11,819 Rachel, that awards ceremony, 186 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,179 you HAVE to get me into it. 187 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,379 It's invite-only. Why do you want to go? 188 00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:16,419 Are you kidding me? 189 00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:18,659 The top business minds in all Lichfield will be there! 190 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,819 It's the ideal spot for me to sell my skills. 191 00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:22,939 Hiya, Ken! 192 00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:26,980 Chief Ken! I've self-actualised as a winner and business visionary! 193 00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:37,299 Ken? 194 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,173 Jane's been nominated for the award too. 195 00:10:39,175 --> 00:10:40,379 - Oh. - Yeah. 196 00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:44,179 Once again, the universe takes a big shit on my face. 197 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:48,859 So what? And who says you won't still win? 198 00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:50,099 As if! 199 00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:51,139 Jane's a shoo-in. 200 00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:53,099 She brings all the big business to the firm. 201 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,432 If I hadn't taken paternity leave, 202 00:10:54,434 --> 00:10:57,019 she wouldn't have even have been nominated, you mark my words. 203 00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:59,739 Ken, you're a hero to me and to women everywhere. 204 00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:02,099 Oh, yeah, they don't stop cheering! 205 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:05,299 Oh, God, what's my life come to? 206 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:10,659 Loads! I mean... you have three wonderful children. 207 00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:12,779 I have two children that I like. 208 00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:15,059 And a best buddy that loves you. Oh, God! 209 00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:18,139 Steve! The cavalry has arrived. 210 00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:20,059 Ken's being a right old cranky pants. 211 00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:21,180 Leave it to me, Lorna. 212 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:28,019 Black dog on your back, eh, Ken? 213 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,539 Can't blame you. 214 00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:32,580 I mean, look at you, worthless schmoo. 215 00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:36,320 Dick Dunderhead who worked his life away for the Man 216 00:11:36,322 --> 00:11:37,939 and didn't even get a clock in return. 217 00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:39,299 Is this supposed to be a pep talk? 218 00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:41,499 I'm knocking you down, Ken, to build you back up again 219 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,700 because here's how we rebuild your mojo. 220 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,419 Little venture I'm starting. 221 00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:52,019 Three words, directed weaponised cocktailology. 222 00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:53,219 You're opening a bar? 223 00:11:53,220 --> 00:11:54,899 It's more than a bar, you fool! 224 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:57,259 It's a high-class cocktail lounge for yuppies and babes. 225 00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:59,619 And the name? Oh, this is going to be bad! 226 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:01,539 All Steve's Pals. 227 00:12:01,540 --> 00:12:03,299 Wow! Worse than I expected. 228 00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:07,099 So I combine my passion for strong drink and my medical know-how. 229 00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:08,139 Et voila! 230 00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:13,619 Bespoke cocktails laced with Steve Chance's own brand of legal high! 231 00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:15,299 I'll play the boogie-woogie piano. 232 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,460 I'll have to learn. 233 00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:21,459 Fuck! I just need a few thousand. 234 00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:23,259 Interested? No! 235 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:24,979 Not interested. 236 00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:28,379 Lichfield's sexy elite do not want to buy their liquor 237 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:30,299 from an insane puffin. 238 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,820 Your loss, not mine. 239 00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:36,940 Fuck you, Ken! 240 00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,659 So, what do you think, Nina? 241 00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:47,379 Um, sorry, you're asking if I can fix the Lawyer of the Year award 242 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:49,499 - so that Ken wins? - Not fix. 243 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,379 - God, no, not fix! - OK. 244 00:12:51,380 --> 00:12:53,539 Only you asked if I could make sure that Ken wins. 245 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,419 Sounds like fixing. 246 00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:57,139 It's just a silly award. 247 00:12:57,140 --> 00:13:00,179 The judges argued over it for days. 248 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,579 There was a secret ballot. 249 00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:05,259 So no-one knows who won, do they? 250 00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:07,979 I mean, it might as well be Ken as anyone else, 251 00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:10,819 and you're always saying what a friend he is to you. 252 00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,899 Yes, you're right. 253 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:14,939 We're best friends. 254 00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:19,899 Nina, Ken's having a nightmare time at work at the moment. 255 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,859 Nightmare! This might be just the fillip he needs. 256 00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:23,980 Ken needs a boost? 257 00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:26,540 Oh, why not? 258 00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:30,460 I'm loving this little female conspiracy. 259 00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:36,140 Fear not, Lorna, Ken will not go home empty-handed. 260 00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:44,993 - Ha! - Ooh! Handsome! 261 00:13:44,995 --> 00:13:46,212 Thank you, love. 262 00:13:46,213 --> 00:13:48,179 I like to look nice before I'm ritually humiliated. 263 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,059 Oh, come on, glum boots! 264 00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:52,419 Who knows? You might still win. 265 00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:53,459 Right. 266 00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:55,630 - Where's Dale? - He ran out earlier. 267 00:13:55,631 --> 00:13:57,064 Are you going to be all right with Sid? 268 00:13:57,066 --> 00:13:58,243 Yeah, piece of piss. 269 00:13:58,244 --> 00:13:59,819 I'm letting him play on Faceswipe. 270 00:13:59,820 --> 00:14:01,180 Kid's got good instincts. 271 00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:05,899 Oh! Uber's here. 272 00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:08,659 Forward to public disgrace! 273 00:14:08,660 --> 00:14:10,979 - Bye, loves! - See ya. 274 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:14,179 No! Sid, don't swipe right for her! 275 00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:16,899 Ah, fair enough, she'll probably do stuff. 276 00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:17,940 High five. 277 00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:20,380 Yeah! Good man! 278 00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:29,539 Welcome, Messieurs, sit yourselves down. 279 00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:32,339 Steve? What, you're an Uber driver now? 280 00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:35,380 I always drove a taxi at night, Ken, even when I was a doctor. 281 00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:40,819 Sparkling water in the seat well. 282 00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:44,299 Travel stove and eggs if you want to fix yourselves an omelette. 283 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,180 I think we're eating at the do, Steve. 284 00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:50,740 Traditional Japanese Gyoku music. 285 00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:55,259 So, Lorna, got a tasty business proposition for you. 286 00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:59,499 Lichfield's premier cocktail bar, All Steve's Pals. 287 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,619 On one side of the bar, a sauna. 288 00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:04,299 And on the other side, an ice-cream parlour. 289 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,539 Cold like my thinking, hot like my loins. 290 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,859 Yeah, this concept's changed quite a lot. 291 00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:12,059 Ideas evolve, Ken. 292 00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:13,179 So what do you say, Lorna? 293 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,798 I'm talking drinks that will take your head off 294 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,659 and girls which will blow your mind. 295 00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,939 Sorry, Steve. I'm out. 296 00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:23,219 No star Uber rating for you, my friends. 297 00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:38,499 Mm! Mm! Rachel, top-up time! 298 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:41,059 Do you know what? All this talking really looks like fun, 299 00:15:41,060 --> 00:15:43,179 but it's very hard work. 300 00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:45,480 Single-handedly keeping the whole event ticking over, 301 00:15:45,482 --> 00:15:46,612 that's hard work too. 302 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:50,939 Oh, babes, one day, you will be the boss and you will really miss 303 00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:52,659 all this stress and admin. 304 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:57,580 OK, back to the coal face! Cos I am Network Nina! 305 00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:03,110 Golly! Nina could use some pointers 306 00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:04,699 on ground-level, integrational leadership. 307 00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:07,723 Dale! You absolute nutter! 308 00:16:07,725 --> 00:16:09,075 What are you doing here? 309 00:16:09,076 --> 00:16:10,739 When you said there was no way into this party, 310 00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:13,339 I recalled a book I read called Don't Take No for An Answer. 311 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,739 You know what it's about? 312 00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,899 - Some kind of sci-fi saga? - No. 313 00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:19,979 It's about not taking no for an answer. So here I am! 314 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:22,979 Look at this place, what a networking opportunity! 315 00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:25,939 Just as soon as I hit my stretch break and I'm allowed to move. 316 00:16:25,940 --> 00:16:27,419 Newbie! No talking! 317 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,660 So sorry, my bad! Bye, Rach. 318 00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:39,420 A toast to our nominees. 319 00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:45,059 Jane, you've been an inspiration these last few months. 320 00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:49,619 Your leadership has helped us see that a better world 321 00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:51,060 is within reach of us all. 322 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:53,859 To Jane! 323 00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:55,139 To Jane! 324 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:57,259 Thank you. And also to Ken. 325 00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:58,419 Oh, thank you, Noel. 326 00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:00,365 Now Jane can enjoy the rest of the ceremony 327 00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:01,779 with a perfectly clean rectum. 328 00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:04,259 Whoever wins, it will be a triumph for the firm. 329 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:10,579 Woo-hoo! Hello, everybody! Welcome! Well, what a night! 330 00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:14,139 I am having an absolute ball. 331 00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:17,300 Let's hear it for the human statues. 332 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:26,059 Now, let's break it down. 333 00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:31,739 Tonight is the night that Lichfield honours its heroes 334 00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:33,299 with awards like 335 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:37,019 Best Chartered Surveyor, 336 00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:42,419 Foremost In-House Compliance Consultant 337 00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:48,460 and, of course, the biggie, Lawyer of the Year! 338 00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:52,060 Go, Jane! Go, Jane! 339 00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:57,300 But before all of that, let's take a short break. 340 00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:01,819 Oi, newbie! It's your break. 341 00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:04,019 You've got 15 minutes. 342 00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:06,259 A top job in 15 minutes. 343 00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:07,420 You've got this, Dale! 344 00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:12,219 Hi, everyone, my name's Dale. 345 00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,219 Here's a business card. Nice to meet you, sir. 346 00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:16,459 He's suddenly so keen to get a job. 347 00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:17,739 Where's he got that idea from? 348 00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:18,979 Nowhere. 349 00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:20,019 Perfect! 350 00:18:20,020 --> 00:18:22,179 I mean, it probably just popped into his head. 351 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,419 Anyway, it's good for Dale. 352 00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:25,699 Maybe something in high finance. 353 00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:27,459 It's important to have a career. 354 00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:28,939 Is it? 355 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,939 I don't know if I'm just drunk, 356 00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:33,139 - but your attitude is refreshing. - Thanks. 357 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:35,100 There is your salary. 358 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,339 Thank you, Ma'am. YOU will not be disappointed. 359 00:18:39,340 --> 00:18:42,700 This is the first step in a very exciting... journ... 360 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,859 What happened? Did you paint yourself all over? 361 00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:53,099 Yeah, every last inch. I wanted to be thorough. 362 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:55,779 His skin's asphyxiating! Dickhead's gone and done a Goldfinger! 363 00:18:55,780 --> 00:18:57,179 No, no, no, I'm OK. 364 00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:59,380 I've got this. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. 365 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:01,459 Oh, no! 366 00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:04,779 His skin needs to breathe! I need to take his trousers off now! 367 00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:07,339 - Oh, God! - This might hurt, soldier. 368 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:12,059 Relax, guys, the worst is over. 369 00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:14,339 I'll drive him to the hospital. 370 00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:16,419 Do you know what? We'll come with. 371 00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:18,059 I don't need to be here. 372 00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:19,139 Ken! 373 00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:20,499 The award! 374 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:23,259 What about it? I've shown my face. 375 00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:24,499 You've won, OK? 376 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,379 - What? - You've won. 377 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:28,539 I might have had a word with Nina. 378 00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:30,819 - I rigged it. - You did what?! 379 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:35,379 Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! 380 00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:38,459 Oh, you sneaky, beautiful wonder! 381 00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:41,419 Can't believe you, Mum! Dale'll be fine! 382 00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:42,660 Go and face your public. 383 00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:48,419 And don't say anything stupid. 384 00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:51,620 Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! 385 00:19:55,180 --> 00:19:57,780 - Oh! - Thank you! Thank you! 386 00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,819 Well, my wife said not to say anything stupid, 387 00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:03,179 so I'll keep it brief. 388 00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:07,739 Folks, working at Herbert Redcliffe 389 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:12,139 this past year has been a magical journey. 390 00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:15,579 And beside me on that magical journey, my partners, 391 00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:16,820 ladies and gentlemen. 392 00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:21,059 Some months ago, I went on paternity leave. 393 00:20:21,060 --> 00:20:24,259 I happen to be a proud feminist. 394 00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:26,979 Yes, why not? Thank you. 395 00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:31,099 And while I was looking after my child and my wife was working, 396 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:35,900 who should be politicking behind my back but Jane, the snake? 397 00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:38,139 Yes, Jane. 398 00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:40,019 You have betrayed the sisterhood. 399 00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:43,778 You shower of shithouses, 400 00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:46,459 it ends here! 401 00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:49,580 You can't do without me now because I... 402 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,859 I'm Lawyer of the Year. 403 00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:54,830 That's right. I, Ken Thompson, 404 00:20:54,832 --> 00:20:56,859 am the Lawyer of the Year! 405 00:20:56,860 --> 00:21:00,339 Read it for yourselves. I am the Tallest... 406 00:21:02,541 --> 00:21:04,993 Nina, there's a little mistake there, I think, 407 00:21:04,994 --> 00:21:07,139 because I think that should just say Lawyer of the Year. 408 00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,540 No, Tallest. 409 00:21:08,541 --> 00:21:11,539 No, no, it's just Lawyer of the Year. 410 00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:13,939 No, it's Tallest Lawyer of the Year. 411 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,818 It's an award I made up especially for you 412 00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:17,259 because we're such good friends 413 00:21:17,260 --> 00:21:19,471 and I know that you were feeling blue so... 414 00:21:19,473 --> 00:21:20,593 What? 415 00:21:20,594 --> 00:21:24,363 Oh, come! Give me a hug, you big wombat! 416 00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:27,299 You're very welcome. 417 00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:28,739 OK, so... 418 00:21:28,740 --> 00:21:30,659 Oh, wasn't that fun? 419 00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:36,099 And, um, the next award is the Lichfield Lawyer of the Year. 420 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,625 So the winner of the Lawyer of the Year 421 00:21:38,627 --> 00:21:41,219 is my best friend, Jane Defreitas! 422 00:21:50,540 --> 00:21:51,579 It will blow over. 423 00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:53,099 It'll be fine. 424 00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:54,379 With these things, 425 00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:57,499 they always seem worse than they actually are, you know. 426 00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:58,620 - Yeah! - Totally. 427 00:21:58,622 --> 00:21:59,713 - Yeah. - Yeah. 428 00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:07,139 Welcome home! Welcome home! 429 00:22:07,140 --> 00:22:09,579 Wow! Someone's feeling better! 430 00:22:09,580 --> 00:22:11,699 The kid just needed his blood cleaning. 431 00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:15,219 Nothing Uncle Steve couldn't do with a petrol siphon and a colander. 432 00:22:15,220 --> 00:22:16,659 Yeah! 433 00:22:16,660 --> 00:22:18,940 Now, everyone has to have a drink. 434 00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:21,499 The award-winner! Shut up. 435 00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,779 Ooh, sad socks. Did something go wrong? 436 00:22:23,780 --> 00:22:26,579 No, I'd just like to go to bed in my house without you here. 437 00:22:26,580 --> 00:22:27,779 Well, no can do. 438 00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:29,819 Even if you don't take any pleasure in your award, 439 00:22:29,820 --> 00:22:31,259 we still have something to toast. 440 00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:34,146 Oh, yes! We still have Dale's new job to celebrate! 441 00:22:34,148 --> 00:22:35,165 Oh, yeah! 442 00:22:35,166 --> 00:22:38,459 Right, actually, um, update, I'm not taking that job any more. 443 00:22:38,461 --> 00:22:40,126 What? How come? 444 00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:44,540 Well, let's just say a better offer came along. 445 00:22:45,980 --> 00:22:48,219 Oh! Oh, no! 446 00:22:48,220 --> 00:22:49,379 Why do I feel scared? 447 00:22:49,380 --> 00:22:50,859 Yep! 448 00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:55,419 You are looking at the 49% owner of All Dale & Steve's Pals! 449 00:22:55,420 --> 00:22:56,819 - Oh, my God. - Oh, fuck! 450 00:22:56,820 --> 00:22:59,009 We had a few cocktails when I was cleaning his blood. 451 00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:00,105 This is Steve's. 452 00:23:00,106 --> 00:23:02,179 I pitched Dale the idea, and he loved it. Yes. 453 00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:03,979 Dale, what about your actual job? 454 00:23:03,980 --> 00:23:05,539 Oh, that job means nothing. 455 00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:07,779 I mean, 50K? What good is a K to me? 456 00:23:07,780 --> 00:23:11,019 This way, I get paid in good old British pounds! 457 00:23:11,020 --> 00:23:13,019 OK. We should probably talk about this. 458 00:23:13,020 --> 00:23:15,579 Oh, well, we're going to be talking about it a lot, my love! 459 00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:18,099 After all, it is where I invested my entire savings. 460 00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:19,899 Steve's already got the lease. 461 00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,676 Dale! We were supposed to be saving for a deposit, 462 00:23:22,678 --> 00:23:24,020 getting out of here! 463 00:23:24,021 --> 00:23:25,259 Yes, you were! 464 00:23:25,260 --> 00:23:27,179 Actually, I had the same concern at first, 465 00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:29,659 but then I talked to Steve and he said, actually, 466 00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,623 it's a sure and certain bet. 467 00:23:31,624 --> 00:23:33,979 So peace of mind. 468 00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:35,579 Peace of mind. 469 00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:37,339 A drink to our success! Rachel? 470 00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:38,682 Yeah, I think I need one! 471 00:23:38,683 --> 00:23:41,259 - Lorna, Ken. - Yep. 472 00:23:41,260 --> 00:23:42,939 To All Dale & Steve's Pals! 473 00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:44,659 It's a bit wordy. Right. 474 00:23:44,660 --> 00:23:46,659 - To All... - Steve's Pals? 475 00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:49,060 - Steve's Pals! - Yeah! 476 00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:54,620 Oh, God! Ooh! 477 00:23:55,940 --> 00:23:57,419 I think it needs another chilli. 478 00:23:57,420 --> 00:23:58,940 It's burning all the way down! 479 00:24:01,260 --> 00:24:03,900 - Let the journey begin! - Yeah. 480 00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:11,460 Subs by btsix www.addic7ed.com 35727

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