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1
00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:21,053
Hey, pay attention,fuckers.
2
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:23,155
I'm riding thishonesty bullshit
3
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,790
all the wayto City Hall.
4
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,225
If you're so honest,
5
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:29,261
then where have you been
the last 25 years... dad?
6
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,462
Dot's on the way to the clinic
7
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,098
with your toothbrush,
and your...
8
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,133
seamen sample.
9
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,467
You do have one
thing in common...
10
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,503
you both hate your
biological fathers.
11
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,338
So...
12
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,407
Oh, genetic
compatibility testing.
13
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,575
You've got to give me
something to take the edge off.
14
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:45,310
I can't stand
the sight of her.
15
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:47,312
Can't stand the sight
of who, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
16
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:49,114
Who the fuck do youthink I mean, you quack?
17
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,216
Can't. Sorry.
Alone.
18
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,786
What do you want from me?
What do you want?
19
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:55,387
Destroy that bitch
Natalie's research
20
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,722
and level the playing field.
21
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,290
Where did the baboon go?
22
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,392
He's HIV positive!
He's dying!
23
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,560
It's up to you, Josh.
24
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,128
Lure that little fucker out
here with your ape-like ass.
25
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:07,466
Go for the fruit!
Please go for the fruit!
26
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,635
I never want to see you
again. Any of you motherfuckers.
27
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,403
Great news!
You're not the father.
28
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,372
Let the press know, will ya?
29
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:14,706
I got shit to do.
30
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,145
You want to getahead in the world,
31
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:24,349
it pays to inspirea little sympathy.
32
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,617
New girl.
33
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,319
My lucky day.
34
00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:33,158
The lost wallet routine?
Really?
35
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,260
Step one:be pathetic.
36
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,429
Forgot my wallet one time
37
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,231
and I'm branded for life.
38
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,266
I guess it's also
my fault I was mugged.
39
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,102
If you call getting smashed
in the back of the head
40
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,536
with a two-by-four a mugging.
41
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,138
That's terrible.
42
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,406
Not as terrible as finding out
43
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:48,774
my daughter's
sleeping with the man
44
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,342
who put me in the hospital.
45
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,711
Or having my kidney stolen
while I was unconscious.
46
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,279
Or learning that my fiancee
47
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,782
ran off with her ex
on our wedding day.
48
00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,185
You poor, poor man.
49
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,520
And now I can't work anymore.
50
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,821
My memory's shot.
51
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,690
I forget things
all the time...
52
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:07,726
like my wallet...
53
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,661
and I've lost the
ability to do math
54
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,464
so I can't even
figure out your tip!
55
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,599
Fuck!
56
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:16,635
Step two: reject thefirst offer for help.
57
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:22,141
It's on the house.
No,
I don't want your sympathy.
58
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,742
I... I just want my life back.
59
00:02:25,778 --> 00:02:27,146
Don't worry.
60
00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:28,914
She'll step up to the plate.
61
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,282
Because human nature
62
00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:33,819
doesn't make you actcompassionate and shit.
63
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:36,355
Ego does.
64
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:39,791
I know how to cheer you up.
65
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,493
But if blowing me in the alley
66
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:45,164
makes her feel superior,who am I to judge?
67
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:47,566
One more thing.
68
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,700
Can I count on your vote
69
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,169
in the upcoming
municipal election?
70
00:02:51,504 --> 00:03:01,613
♪
71
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,425
See this, nut-crunch?
72
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:47,993
This is how you
wake someone up.
73
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:50,662
I can't condone scotch
this early in the day.
74
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,397
So many empty calories.
75
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,732
Shut up, Larry.
76
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:54,833
We're celebrating.
77
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,935
We've jumped ahead
26 points in the polls.
78
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:57,970
Fucking A!
79
00:03:57,972 --> 00:03:59,972
Yet still two points
behind Chester.
80
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:01,540
If you want to
develop a real lead,
81
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,442
we need to get you ready
for today's debate.
82
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:07,713
Yeah, public speaking
isn't really my bag.
83
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,915
You wanna build
on this momentum?
84
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,984
Play the sympathy card.
85
00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:14,286
Make these hillbilly
cousin fuckers
86
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:16,655
feel bad for good old Fitzy.
87
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,891
That'll crush Chester,
not some fucking debate.
88
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,326
Yeah.
89
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:22,594
Some kind of illness.
90
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,895
Something crippling.
91
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:26,398
Yeah.
But not the face.
92
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,533
We can't manufacture sympathy.
93
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,736
You're the last honest man!
94
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:31,870
Don't you ever get tired
95
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,372
of being the Homosexual
Jiminy Cricket?
96
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,974
Iris says insults are
a sign of weakness.
97
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,476
They make talking
blow-up dolls?
98
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:38,744
You're just jealous.
99
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,479
I can have
any man I want. Anytime I want.
100
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:41,980
Not that you understand
the complexity
101
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,349
of female-male relationships...
or anything.
102
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,985
We are not cancelling this
debate and that's final.
103
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,889
It would be the death
of this campaign.
104
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,592
Larry...
105
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,394
You're absolutely right.
106
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:56,728
I am?
He is?
107
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,930
And I need you to get my
black suit from the cleaners.
108
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,766
You got it, Councillor.
109
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:07,939
You better sober up if you're
going to go through with this thing.
110
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,408
This is
Richard Fitzpatrick.
111
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,610
I have to cancel
that thing today...
112
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:12,744
the debate.
113
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,046
Why?
114
00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:17,316
Because my sister's dead.
Genius.
115
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,751
How did she die?
Horribly.
116
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:23,055
Thank you. Sir.
Thank you very much.
117
00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:24,890
We better find
that bitch.
118
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:30,729
Once again, a politician hidesbehind liberal buzzwords
119
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:34,666
like "mental illness"and "family tragedy".
120
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:39,604
What the fuck?
This time, it's freshmancandidate Richard Fitzpatrick
121
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,106
dropping out of today's debate
122
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:45,410
"to mourn" the allegedsuicide of his sister Meghan.
123
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,579
What the fuck?
124
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:50,015
Inevitable? Probably.
125
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,417
Sad? Not particularly.
126
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:53,485
But one thing is certain:
127
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,487
Richard Fitzpatrickowes the people
128
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,557
of Coverton one debate.
129
00:05:58,559 --> 00:05:59,858
Oh.
130
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,527
And rest in peace, Meghan.
131
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,529
What the fuck?
132
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,965
This is Melody Gray, reporting.
133
00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:09,835
That's terrible.
134
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:10,969
I know.
135
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,138
Fitzpatrick's popularity
is going to skyrocket.
136
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,740
Okay.
137
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,476
Thinking caps on.
138
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:20,612
What trumps "dead sister?"
139
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,547
Like deaf sister.
140
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,082
Or who do we know with AIDS?
141
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:28,053
Chester, I can't believe we're
having this conversation.
142
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,756
I'm not saying
anyone has to die.
143
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:35,761
How far along are we again?
144
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:36,795
Chester!
145
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:40,966
But everyone loves premature babies.
They're little bundles of hope.
146
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:42,801
Real little fighters.
147
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:50,776
I feel like I can't say
anything to you these days!
148
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:57,816
Yeah.
149
00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,886
Black... Red...
150
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,422
Where is my leaking
haemorrhoid of a brother?
151
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,489
Haven't seen him.
152
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,924
He's too busy running around
153
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,726
being Big Shot Politician
154
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,528
to hang out with
his old buddy Josh.
155
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:10,896
Cry me a fucking river.
156
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,697
Apparently I'm dead.
157
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,166
It was all over the news.
158
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:18,203
Do I look dead to you?
Do I? Do I?
159
00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:21,139
You kinda smell dead.
160
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,707
Asshole.
161
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,576
Tell Dick I'm looking for him.
162
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:25,944
No.
Don't tell him.
163
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,213
I'll find him myself.
164
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,148
So if you're not dead...
165
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,751
You must be the...
166
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:35,487
...undead.
167
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:36,855
[screaming]
168
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,490
Fucking stoner.
169
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:39,991
Joint!
170
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,797
Oh I've missed you so much.
171
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,667
How many sisters have to die
172
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,703
before a man can get
a drink around here?
173
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:55,006
Richard, I came as soon
as I heard the news.
174
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,641
I'm so sorry.
175
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,079
All right, you
overgrown abortion.
176
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,781
What the fuck did you do?
177
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,816
Your daughter is dead,
and that's your response?
178
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,153
She's not dead,
you little shit.
179
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,154
Elaine?
180
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,989
Look who decided to drop in.
181
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:14,025
If there was ever a time
to set your anger aside,
182
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,560
that time is now.
183
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,562
Go stick your
dick in a toaster.
184
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,498
I can smell
a con a mile off...
185
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,066
and I want my cut.
186
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,167
Of course you do.
187
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,035
Because that's all
you care about.
188
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:27,572
Are you still harping on
that abandoned child shtick?
189
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,508
You've had - what?
Twenty years to get over it.
190
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,276
More like twenty-nine
years, mom.
191
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,178
See? Plenty of time!
192
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,914
You always were lazy.
193
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:38,049
So, how did she die?
194
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,218
You do it yourself?
195
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,020
Uh... well.
196
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,122
I knew it was a con.
197
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,124
Lazy and a bad liar.
198
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,592
And you wonder why I left.
199
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,160
How dare you?
200
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,296
Your son is clearly shaken.
201
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,532
The medical examiner
is calling it
202
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,033
an... overdose.
203
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,768
Downed a bottle
of tranquilizers
204
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,103
like it was candy.
205
00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,871
Meghan can't swallow pills.
206
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,240
She chokes like a
cat on a hairball.
207
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,675
I always told her:
208
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:04,876
"you'll never keep a husband
209
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,778
with that gag reflex."
210
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:09,781
I don't know which is worse,
211
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:15,320
the fact that you think I'm lying,
or that you don't care that
your own daughter is dead.
212
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,556
Well, someone in this family
213
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,890
has to give a
shit about Meghan.
214
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,192
I guess it's up to me
to give that shit.
215
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,327
I give a shit.
216
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:23,762
The funeral is Tuesday.
217
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,330
You can see for yourselves.
218
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,775
You buying that bullshit?
219
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,080
All you have to do is
go away and pretend to be dead.
220
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,181
For how long?
221
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,649
A couple of days.
222
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:45,884
Is that too much
to fucking ask?
223
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,919
My family is so
fucking selfish.
224
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,654
Saul disappears with
my son because I'm-
225
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,323
"An incompetent caregiver".
226
00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:52,924
Dad only wants me
to be his front
227
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,292
for his new dealership.
228
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,661
You tell people I'm dead
for your stupid campaign
229
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,063
and the only thing
mom ever cared about
230
00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,664
was stupid cigarettes.
231
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,266
Yeah, you're right.
232
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:04,002
Throwing a funeral
would be a bad idea.
233
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,004
All those people missing you.
234
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,640
Talking about
how great you are.
235
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,041
Were.
236
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,644
You'd never do that.
237
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,112
Yeah...
238
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:18,049
It was going to be
a great funeral.
239
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,185
With...
like flowers?
240
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:22,120
Lots of flowers.
A few flowers.
241
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,022
And a new dress?
242
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,190
Fuck.
Fine.
243
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,758
Yes, a new dress.
244
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,793
It would teach
everyone a lesson
245
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,795
about taking me for granted.
246
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,798
And think of all that
sympathy for you...
247
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,200
and a certain freshman
candidate
248
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,402
who wants to shake
up the status quo.
249
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,938
And everyone will be
emotionally vulnerable.
250
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:43,708
Who needs internet dating
when you have funerals.
251
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:45,010
Yeah -
252
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,811
it would be great.
253
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,381
But what happens when everyone
finds out I'm still alive?
254
00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:52,050
By then I'll be in office
and it's too late.
255
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,319
Besides, Politicians go back
on their word all the time.
256
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,787
"I am not a crook";
257
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,322
"I didn't have sexual
relations with that woman"
258
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,658
It's no different from
"I didn't know my sister wasn't really dead".
259
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,696
I want it to be open casket.
260
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,431
I want to be able to
hear everyone crying
261
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,433
and talking about
how they miss me.
262
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,968
I want the coffin to be oak.
263
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,370
And it has to be
lined with silk...
264
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,305
It would be easier
to just kill her.
265
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,909
Don't fucking
tempt me.
266
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,378
And you can't hold it
at the DUI.
267
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,924
God, you are so fucking cheap.
268
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,259
The dealership?
Really?
269
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,127
You couldn't at least
rent a community center?
270
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:39,097
Nobody would believe that I'd waste
any more money on you than I'd have to.
271
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,099
I suppose...
but still...
272
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,467
I had to have my wedding here.
273
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,703
So many memories.
274
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,804
Will you get in
the fucking box
275
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,172
before Larry or
somebody important
276
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:48,406
sees that you're not dead?
277
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:49,841
Here.
278
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,242
I wrote a poem for the eulogy.
279
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,311
It's going to make everyone
so sad they'll puke.
280
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:56,081
I think the guest of honour
deserves a glass of champagne.
281
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,215
Champagne.
282
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,184
Now I really am a princess.
283
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,952
A dead one.
284
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,253
But still a princess.
285
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:05,256
To me.
286
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:08,259
[laughs]
287
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,428
The bubbles tickle my nose.
288
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:11,963
Hey, why aren't
you drinking...
289
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,198
Son of a bitch.
What's in this?
290
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,800
Just a little something to ensure
you stay still during the funeral.
291
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:17,235
Not again.
292
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,803
Mother...
293
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:20,505
fuckers.
294
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,340
Get her feet.
295
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:29,481
[organ music throughout]
296
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,157
I did not approve
this funeral.
297
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,359
He still owns 30 percent
of the dealership.
298
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,761
At least we can take advantage
299
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:46,364
of the heathen grief
to sell the Mazda.
300
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:49,067
You are exceedingly
insensitive.
301
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,273
I guess that pile of
shit with a pompadour
302
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,009
was telling the truth.
303
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,178
Hard to believe she's dead.
304
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,113
Hard to believe she's quiet.
305
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,015
Show some fucking respect.
306
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,517
A little late to
give a shit, isn't it?
307
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,354
Thank you for being here.
308
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:10,855
Vote for Fitz.
309
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:11,990
I appreciate the support.
310
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,158
Show your support.
311
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,459
It means so much.
312
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,427
He needs you now
more than ever.
313
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,495
Very appreciated.
314
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,063
Don't forget to vote.
315
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,099
Look at them all
feeling sorry for me.
316
00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:26,104
Black suits you.
317
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:30,074
Could we have one conversation
where you don't hit on me?
318
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,544
Nope.
319
00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:36,147
Look, I'm really sorry
about your sister.
320
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:40,952
She was...
she was so...
321
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,121
Yeah.
322
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:48,493
Anyway, when you
get a minute, we need to talk.
323
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,228
Richard...
324
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,198
Yeah.
325
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,867
It's good to see you,
I guess.
326
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,836
How are you holding up?
327
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,971
I'm gettin' through it...
328
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,973
...guy.
329
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,976
And you are...
330
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,145
Still trying to
process the news.
331
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,380
I think I'm in denial.
332
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,015
I never thought
this day would come.
333
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,851
Yeah.
334
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,255
Mmm.
335
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:20,491
Well built. No Ring.
Hair. Dibs.
336
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,293
Keep it in your pants, Red.
337
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,895
This is supposed
to be a funeral.
338
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:24,896
Look who's talking.
339
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,164
Would it hurt you to
shed a few tears?
340
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,566
Fitzpatricks don't
have tear ducts.
341
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,969
Ask my doctor.
342
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,503
Richard...
343
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,972
I'm here for you.
344
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,440
If you need anything.
345
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,642
I could use a hug.
346
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,077
You could?
You could?
347
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,345
Yeah...
348
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:44,082
[whispers]
Get the photographer.
349
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,984
It's tragedies like
the loss of a loved one,
350
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,385
even Meghan,
351
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,121
that lead to
self-reflection,
352
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,056
and personal
growth.
353
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,658
Richard Fitzpatrick,
get ready...
354
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,126
it's coming for you.
355
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:58,396
Got it, thanks.
356
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,665
[sobbing]
357
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,939
Ha! Ya!
358
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,375
Josh...
359
00:15:11,443 --> 00:15:13,044
Whoa, man!
360
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,979
[exhales]
361
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:17,115
I am wondering
if you can assist
362
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:20,685
an emotional but not
biological brother.
363
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,253
Little busy here, Buddy.
364
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:27,425
But do you have any more
of that intoxicating herb?
365
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,261
Meghan's death is affecting
me more than I thought -
366
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,996
because it is affecting me -
367
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,632
and I need something
to take the edge off.
368
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:40,004
You silly, naive
little brown man.
369
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:44,676
This...
this is all you're gonna need.
370
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:46,377
Take it!
371
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,113
You kill the brain and
you kill the ghoul.
372
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,516
You got it?
It's go time buddy.
373
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,251
Operation Blackout.
374
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,253
It must have been a top
secret government experiment.
375
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,255
The resurrection of the dead.
376
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,390
It's the only explanation.
377
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,625
Zombies.
378
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:03,294
Zombies.
379
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,397
Please, I don't have time
for your immature foolishness.
380
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,200
I need to get high.
381
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:14,272
Save the last bullet
for yourself.
382
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:17,008
For yourself.
383
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,349
Here you go.
Almost fresh.
384
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:27,085
I'm looking for my smokes,
dipshit.
385
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,323
[gags]
386
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:40,631
Champagne?
387
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,201
Thanks, no.
I don't drink.
388
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,003
Not anymore.
389
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:48,539
So what do you do?
390
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:51,609
I just want to be
up front with you.
391
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,411
I haven't dated
since my divorce.
392
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:57,181
Oh...
I'll be gentle.
393
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,496
Oh, my little girl.
394
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,532
My poor little princess.
395
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:24,809
It is so odd to see her
without her mouth moving.
396
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:28,146
She looks like a
ventriloquist doll.
397
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:31,749
I have decided
I will miss her.
398
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:34,485
She was a tigress in bed.
399
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,421
Yes, a gentle tigress.
400
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:39,424
With an insatiable appetite.
401
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:43,428
An insatiable appetite
for cuddling...
402
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,531
I will give you a moment.
403
00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:54,539
Allahu akbar!
404
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,507
Zombie!
405
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:01,546
upbeat ♪
406
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,314
[indistinct chatter]
407
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:09,420
So, you enjoying the funeral?
408
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,155
Cut the small talk, toots.
409
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:12,523
We both know
why you're here.
410
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,492
I seriously doubt
you have any clue.
411
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,094
You signed my nomination form.
412
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,329
Been following me around
like a lost puppy.
413
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:21,232
Admit it,
you want me to win.
414
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:25,303
Fitz,
I am here to pay my respects.
415
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:29,474
To something that's
been on my mind
416
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,610
for the last...
30 weeks now.
417
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,846
Do you get me?
418
00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:37,849
Okay, Fitz...
419
00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:40,151
you're the...
420
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:42,653
you are the...
421
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,188
I'm the what?
422
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,557
You're the bravest
man I know to push on
423
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:50,328
with the election campaign
despite this tragedy.
424
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:52,697
Chester?
What the hell?
425
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:56,267
Although, none of us
are strangers to tragedy.
426
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,536
This is low.
Even for you.
427
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,238
How dare you mock
my acute case
428
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,406
of Guillain-Barré Syndrome?
429
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:03,841
A disease I probably
picked up
430
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,776
volunteering
at the soup kitchen.
431
00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:09,247
[cough]
432
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,649
Rosanne Barr syndrome my ass.
433
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,284
It's a good thing
he brought that wheelchair.
434
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:14,418
He's going to need it.
435
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,620
Richard, no.
436
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,355
You need to grieve.
437
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,789
I'll handle this.
438
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,292
Trying to exploit our sympathy
439
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:24,462
for his own petty
political gain.
440
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:25,696
The nerve...
441
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:26,764
Couldn't agree more.
442
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:36,174
Where did those
goddamn cigarettes go?
443
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,742
Cut the act.
444
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,443
This is my last one.
445
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,945
Sure it is.
446
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,447
One thing the little retard
was always good for.
447
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,316
Going to the store for smokes.
448
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,784
That's because she
stole the change.
449
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,286
That crafty little bitch.
450
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:50,388
She must have got
it from her mother.
451
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,956
All right, one-nut.
452
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,658
What's your angle?
453
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,460
I've seen the way you've been
eyeball fucking me all day.
454
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,662
No angle.
455
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:58,796
A proposal.
456
00:19:58,798 --> 00:19:59,897
Forget it.
457
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,366
I don't want to park
my shoes under your bed.
458
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,601
We both know we're like oil
459
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,870
and whatever that shit is
that oil won't mix with.
460
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,738
Then what?
461
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:12,310
What's the one thing we were
always good at together?
462
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:13,644
Rape fantasies.
463
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:15,646
And slinging tin.
464
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:18,249
[laughs]
465
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,418
A new dealership?
You and me?
466
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,752
Just like the old days.
467
00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:26,324
Well,
I'd consider it.
468
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,893
As soon as you apologize.
469
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,361
For what?
470
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,530
Let's start with our
whole fucking marriage
471
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:33,731
and take it from there.
472
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,500
I knew you'd be a cock
crunching shrew about this.
473
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:37,735
Fuck that.
474
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,937
A Fitzpatrick
never apologizes.
475
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,839
I'm sorry, but that's
just the way it is.
476
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:45,509
Then we've got nothing
left to talk about.
Fuck.
477
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:57,722
The mental health apple
never falls far from the tree.
478
00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,590
So,
if his sister killed herself,
479
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:03,861
who's to say Fitzpatrick
isn't just as unstable.
480
00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,563
Okay...
481
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:09,767
So you're saying we can't risk
a madman on city council.
482
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,335
Exactly.
483
00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:13,871
Then just say it.
484
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:17,308
We... can't risk a madman
on city council.
485
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:18,442
Beautiful.
486
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,946
[theatrical laugh]
Fascinating.
487
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,981
Would you excuse us
for a moment?
488
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,316
This is off the record.
489
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:26,550
Of course.
490
00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:31,589
I think I have proven
491
00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:34,458
I will tolerate many
things, Chester Vince.
492
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,327
Many, many things.
493
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,296
But co-opting this
family's funeral
494
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,865
to further your
political aspirations?
495
00:21:40,867 --> 00:21:42,366
Not one of them.
496
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:43,434
Oh really?
497
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:44,602
I asked around the
police station,
498
00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:47,872
and no one remembers a
911 call for a suicide.
499
00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:52,009
How dare you defile the memory
of Richard's dear sister.
500
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:54,378
Okay!
It's time to go.
501
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:55,913
Oh, no, no!
502
00:21:55,915 --> 00:21:57,948
You're not going anywhere.
503
00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:59,950
Not until that casket
is in the ground
504
00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:02,720
and you apologize for doubting
the deep feelings of sadness
505
00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:05,456
this family is
experiencing right now.
506
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,425
It's a free country, Larry.
Let them go.
507
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:08,659
No, Richard.
508
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,429
Chester Vince accused you of
staging this whole funeral
509
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:12,997
to elicit voter sympathy.
510
00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:15,766
We're going to make
him eat those words.
511
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:19,737
At the graveyard when
we bury Meghan Fitzpatrick.
512
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,539
I can't wait.
513
00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:24,375
All right,
let's go.
514
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:25,576
Nice work, Larry.
515
00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:26,911
I've always got
your back, buddy.
516
00:22:26,913 --> 00:22:27,912
Oh, you've got a -
517
00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:29,613
Get your fuckin'
hands off me.
518
00:22:31,049 --> 00:22:32,917
Trouble?
Depends.
519
00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:34,885
How much air do you
think this coffin holds?
520
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,387
Don't worry.
521
00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:39,457
She'll wake up long
before the air runs out.
522
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:40,891
Fuck!
523
00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:45,529
Hey everyone, could we hurry
the fuck up to the graveyard?
524
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,898
This corpse isn't
gonna bury itself.
525
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:50,901
Ha! Okay,
here we go, let's go.
Let's go, guys...
526
00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:57,842
And it sure as shit
ain't gonna rise.
527
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:09,553
[indistinct chatter]
528
00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:17,728
Meghan wrote this
before she died.
529
00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:20,965
Fuck.
530
00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:23,868
Dear Richard,
I'll make this brief.
531
00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:27,772
I just want to take a second
to say how wonderful it is
532
00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:30,775
that you all turned out
to support my brother.
533
00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:33,844
It's a touching gesture
in a time of need,
534
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:35,146
and when he is elected-
535
00:23:35,148 --> 00:23:36,547
I've got something to say.
536
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:37,848
Son of a bitch, can't it wait?
537
00:23:37,850 --> 00:23:40,084
Fuck off.
538
00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:41,452
Elaine.
539
00:23:41,454 --> 00:23:43,421
We've had our ups and downs.
540
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:47,091
But if there's one person
I want in my corner, it's you.
541
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:48,492
Oh, for fuck's sake.
542
00:23:48,494 --> 00:23:49,894
So if it takes an apology
543
00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:51,662
to get you back in
business with me,
544
00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:52,963
then Elaine-
545
00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:55,433
Richard, here it comes...
546
00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:56,967
emotional growth...
547
00:23:56,969 --> 00:23:58,869
I am sorry.
548
00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:02,039
Yeah, I'm not feeling it.
549
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:04,141
I'm sorry you're a
filthy lying whore!
And there it goes.
550
00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:06,777
You know what
I've been through?
551
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:09,713
I can't believe you'd stoop
so low.
552
00:24:09,715 --> 00:24:11,749
I have an election to win.
553
00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:13,017
And I need your help.
554
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:15,986
Try thinking about someone
besides yourself for a change.
555
00:24:15,988 --> 00:24:18,989
That's all I've been doing
for the last 30 weeks.
556
00:24:18,991 --> 00:24:20,624
[shouting continues]
557
00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:21,692
You could have fooled me.
558
00:24:21,694 --> 00:24:24,028
Oh, really?
Watch me.
559
00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:25,896
Now, if I may continue...
Fitz!
560
00:24:28,834 --> 00:24:31,769
Chester, I'm leaving you!
561
00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:36,173
And I'm sorry for your loss.
562
00:24:37,709 --> 00:24:39,577
Ali-bear?
563
00:24:39,579 --> 00:24:41,045
Wait!
564
00:24:41,047 --> 00:24:43,113
[crowd gasps]
565
00:24:43,115 --> 00:24:46,684
You faked an illness
to get sympathy?
566
00:24:46,686 --> 00:24:50,154
What kind of monster
would do that?
567
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:53,190
[crowd murmuring]
568
00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:54,959
Why is it so dark in here?
569
00:24:54,961 --> 00:24:58,028
Fitz! Hurry up!
570
00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:01,165
So, in conclusion,
571
00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:03,901
and in light of Chester
Vince being retarded
572
00:25:03,903 --> 00:25:06,971
and not handicapped,
Vote Fitz!
573
00:25:06,973 --> 00:25:09,273
Now let's get to the wake.
First round's on Larry.
574
00:25:09,275 --> 00:25:10,774
[screaming]
575
00:25:10,776 --> 00:25:14,011
You motherfucker!
You never read my poem!
576
00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:15,546
You're alive?
577
00:25:15,548 --> 00:25:16,881
Fucking right I am.
578
00:25:16,883 --> 00:25:18,549
Get mommy some smokes.
579
00:25:18,551 --> 00:25:20,117
Fuck you!
580
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,086
[indistinct crowd murmuring]
581
00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:23,988
Motherfucking assholes.
582
00:25:25,824 --> 00:25:27,625
Saul?
583
00:25:27,627 --> 00:25:31,762
You brought a date to your
ex-wife's fucking funeral?
584
00:25:31,764 --> 00:25:33,797
You ruined my life.
585
00:25:33,799 --> 00:25:34,999
[laughs]
586
00:25:35,001 --> 00:25:36,200
You slept with her?
587
00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,301
Hey...
588
00:25:37,303 --> 00:25:39,803
I drank a 3 into a 7 and
woke up married, okay?
589
00:25:40,739 --> 00:25:43,240
You, get away from him!
590
00:25:43,242 --> 00:25:45,276
Die, zombie fiend.
591
00:25:45,278 --> 00:25:47,645
Zombie! She must die!
592
00:25:47,647 --> 00:25:49,046
Again.
593
00:25:51,182 --> 00:25:53,083
You shot me!
594
00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:54,652
Oh my God!
595
00:25:54,654 --> 00:25:55,753
Try again!
Try again!
596
00:25:55,755 --> 00:25:57,154
What does a woman
have to do around here
597
00:25:57,156 --> 00:25:58,722
to get a cigarette?
598
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:00,858
[screaming throughout]
599
00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:02,059
Are you in?
600
00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:03,627
Fine.
601
00:26:03,629 --> 00:26:05,596
[gunfire continues]
602
00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:06,764
Fuck it!
603
00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:11,201
[screaming]
604
00:26:11,203 --> 00:26:15,873
You faked your sister's death
to get votes?
605
00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:17,041
Oh, Richard.
606
00:26:17,043 --> 00:26:21,912
What do you have to say for
yourself, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
607
00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:23,347
My sister's alive.
608
00:26:23,349 --> 00:26:25,316
It's... a miracle!
609
00:26:25,318 --> 00:26:27,151
[awkward laughter]
48282
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