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1
00:00:00,431 --> 00:00:03,631
♪♪
2
00:00:07,178 --> 00:00:08,678
Morning, Tuck.
3
00:00:08,679 --> 00:00:10,679
Hey, did you hear that weird
high-pitched shriek last night?
4
00:00:10,681 --> 00:00:12,781
Kind of like a--
a cat dying?
5
00:00:12,783 --> 00:00:14,793
Where's my cuddle bear?
6
00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:16,185
Oh, there you are!
7
00:00:16,187 --> 00:00:17,947
That's the one.
8
00:00:17,948 --> 00:00:19,388
Oh. Ben, hi.
9
00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:20,690
I don't suppose you'd believe
10
00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:22,121
I was just down here
borrowing a cup of sugar?
11
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,593
Even though I kind of was.
12
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:25,995
Just so you know,
13
00:00:25,996 --> 00:00:27,496
I'm not normally
the kind of girl
14
00:00:27,498 --> 00:00:29,028
that does this sort of thing,
but ever since my divorce,
15
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,399
I've just been trying
to get out there more.
16
00:00:30,401 --> 00:00:32,301
But ironically, out there is
really just the fourth floor.
17
00:00:32,303 --> 00:00:33,863
I'm so lucky
to have my Tuckle-bear.
18
00:00:33,864 --> 00:00:35,274
I would be totally lost
without him.
19
00:00:36,807 --> 00:00:39,037
Dude, how do you
put up with her voice?
20
00:00:40,171 --> 00:00:41,341
Oh.
21
00:00:43,074 --> 00:00:44,284
I'm sorry,
did you say something?
22
00:00:44,275 --> 00:00:45,375
(chortles)
23
00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:47,016
Asked and answered.
24
00:00:47,017 --> 00:00:49,577
So, are you and Sondra
dating again?
25
00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:50,950
Dating? Please.
26
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,921
She knocks on the pipes
whenever her ex has the kid
27
00:00:53,924 --> 00:00:57,094
and comes down
to be Tucked into bed.
28
00:00:57,088 --> 00:00:59,128
Okay. Good to know.
29
00:00:59,130 --> 00:01:01,060
Is it? No.
No, not at all.
30
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,061
(phone rings)
31
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,535
Hello?
32
00:01:05,536 --> 00:01:07,036
Yeah, this is Ben.
33
00:01:08,038 --> 00:01:09,068
What?
34
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,239
Uh, yeah.
35
00:01:10,241 --> 00:01:11,871
Let me see
if I can find her. Thanks.
36
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,302
Dude, something's wrong
with Riley.
37
00:01:13,304 --> 00:01:14,984
She didn't show up
to work today. Here.
38
00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:16,745
Apparently, I'm still
her emergency contact.
39
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:22,010
Hey, well, if she's not dead,
we need milk.
40
00:01:22,012 --> 00:01:23,982
-(door closes)
-But actually, we need it
either way!
41
00:01:26,117 --> 00:01:27,257
Riley? Are you here?
42
00:01:27,258 --> 00:01:28,058
-Whoa! Oh!
-(yelps)
43
00:01:31,722 --> 00:01:33,162
Oh, good, you're okay.
44
00:01:33,164 --> 00:01:34,674
(theme music playing)
45
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,966
♪ It's amazing how
the unexpected ♪
46
00:01:38,969 --> 00:01:42,069
♪ Can take your life
and change directions ♪
47
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:48,076
I just don't understand why
you're her emergency contact.
48
00:01:48,078 --> 00:01:50,138
And I just don't understand
why you don't understand
49
00:01:50,141 --> 00:01:51,041
how an alarm clock works!
50
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:52,441
Oh, my God,
I am so late.
51
00:01:52,443 --> 00:01:55,253
Dude, it's just
an emergency contact.
52
00:01:55,246 --> 00:01:58,186
Calm down. It's not like
my name is tattooed on her ass.
53
00:01:58,189 --> 00:01:59,519
Although it could have been.
54
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,020
We were in a relationship.
55
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,051
Relationship?
56
00:02:02,052 --> 00:02:03,092
That's kind of
a stretch, isn't it?
57
00:02:03,093 --> 00:02:04,933
Uh, no. We dated.
58
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:05,955
So?
59
00:02:05,956 --> 00:02:07,426
She dated a lot of people.
60
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,958
This, this is a relationship.
61
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,160
Oh, so what you're saying
is that what I had with Riley
doesn't count?
62
00:02:13,164 --> 00:02:14,174
Yeah, kinda.
63
00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:16,135
Oh, I see what this is.
64
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,006
Yeah, you're just jealous
of what we had.
65
00:02:18,008 --> 00:02:20,338
Oh, so I'm jealous
of nothing? Got it.
66
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,811
Now, if you'll excuse me,
67
00:02:21,812 --> 00:02:23,112
I'd like to say goodbye
to my girlfriend.
68
00:02:23,113 --> 00:02:24,353
(door slams shut)
69
00:02:27,017 --> 00:02:29,247
She's probably just in a rush
to change her emergency contact.
70
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:33,152
Bonnie:
"All I can say
71
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:37,233
is Realtor Bonnie Wheeler
found me my dream home."
72
00:02:37,228 --> 00:02:38,528
There you go, Emma.
73
00:02:38,529 --> 00:02:40,789
Your very first online review.
74
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:44,303
If this doesn't drum up
more listings,
75
00:02:44,295 --> 00:02:46,395
Grandma's gonna need
you to tap dance in a bear suit
76
00:02:46,397 --> 00:02:48,667
while I hand out fliers
in Times Square.
77
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,270
Hey, Danny, oh, my gosh.
78
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:54,042
I have some amazing news.
79
00:02:54,044 --> 00:02:55,184
Okay, get this.
80
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,845
Out of all of the associates,
I was asked to give
81
00:02:57,848 --> 00:03:00,148
the retirement speech
for Bernard Bender,
82
00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:01,910
one of the firm's
founding partners!
83
00:03:01,912 --> 00:03:03,482
-That's cool!
-Bigger.
84
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,264
-That's amazing!
-Bigger.
85
00:03:05,256 --> 00:03:06,816
I am so proud of you!
86
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,619
Are you talking about
87
00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:13,160
the legendary real estate
attorney, Bernard Bender?
88
00:03:13,163 --> 00:03:14,233
The King of Condos?
89
00:03:14,225 --> 00:03:15,165
The Crown of Downtown?
90
00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:16,365
The Lord of Slumlords?
91
00:03:17,468 --> 00:03:18,498
Where are you going
with this?
92
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,869
Oh, my God, if I could
get him as a client...
93
00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:22,171
And we're there. No.
94
00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:23,202
No, no, no, no.
95
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,243
Mrs. Wheeler, please.
96
00:03:24,235 --> 00:03:25,335
He is a sweet,
97
00:03:25,336 --> 00:03:28,236
darling, old man
who occasionally mistakes me
98
00:03:28,239 --> 00:03:29,809
for his daughter--
Put those away!
99
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:30,940
-Okay, fine!
-All right?
100
00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:33,382
No.
101
00:03:33,384 --> 00:03:35,294
You have to promise me that
you will stay away from him.
102
00:03:35,286 --> 00:03:37,046
(scoffs)
What?
103
00:03:37,047 --> 00:03:38,447
I just want to meet him...
104
00:03:38,449 --> 00:03:40,249
shake his wallet-- hand!
105
00:03:40,251 --> 00:03:41,821
I mean hand!
Totally his hand.
106
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,292
(groans)
107
00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:45,764
Okay, fine.
108
00:03:45,756 --> 00:03:49,326
I promise to stay away from him.
109
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,001
-Good. Thank you.
-Yeah.
110
00:03:52,002 --> 00:03:54,342
All right, I am gonna go
work on my speech.
111
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,535
I will--
I'll see you later, Danny?
112
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:56,536
Bye!
113
00:03:58,339 --> 00:03:59,169
(door closes)
114
00:03:59,169 --> 00:04:00,209
What?
115
00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:02,840
I'm just trying to
figure out the loophole.
116
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:06,453
See, you promised
to stay away from him,
117
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:09,017
but you didn't promise
that he'd stay away from you!
118
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,151
Oh, my God,
you are my son.
119
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,352
Come here. I'm sorry.
120
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,858
Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben!
121
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,790
We've got a problem.
122
00:04:21,792 --> 00:04:23,262
Is it that my best friend likes
123
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,373
to walk around town
carrying a stuffed bear?
124
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,766
Because I accept you anyway.
125
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,599
-Though I'd rather
you get rid of the bear.
-(scoffs)
126
00:04:30,601 --> 00:04:33,471
No. And this was a gift...
127
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,284
-from Sondra.
-(click)
128
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,675
Sondra's voice:
Happy one month
anniversary, Tuckle-bear!
129
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,110
Dude, she thinks we're dating!
130
00:04:42,112 --> 00:04:44,282
Why would she want
to ruin a good thing
131
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,064
with actual feelings?
132
00:04:46,056 --> 00:04:48,316
What am I supposed to do now?
133
00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:49,589
Here's a thought.
134
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:51,560
Next time she bangs
on the pipes, don't bang back.
135
00:04:52,563 --> 00:04:54,373
Well, what about my pipes?
136
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,266
Hey, Tuck...
137
00:04:57,267 --> 00:04:59,197
you think Riley
and I had something, right?
138
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,269
Really?
139
00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:02,330
We can't have
one conversation about me?
140
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:05,544
It's like Danny wants
to pretend that what I had
141
00:05:05,536 --> 00:05:07,036
with Riley didn't even exist.
142
00:05:07,037 --> 00:05:09,507
Well, I guess
I understand that.
143
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,740
It's kind of like when
I gave my cousin my bike,
144
00:05:11,742 --> 00:05:13,542
and he wouldn't even
let me ride it once in a while.
145
00:05:15,346 --> 00:05:17,386
I just know that
if the roles were reversed,
146
00:05:17,388 --> 00:05:19,518
I would have the decency
to be jealous of him.
147
00:05:21,652 --> 00:05:24,092
They are, and you are.
148
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,325
No, I am not!
But he will be!
149
00:05:28,659 --> 00:05:30,659
Hey, guys!
How's it goin'?
150
00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:32,761
Riles, I just got a text
from Abbey and Steve.
151
00:05:32,763 --> 00:05:34,643
-Oh!
-Yeah, they were just saying
how much they miss us
152
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,135
at Couples-Only Game Night,
153
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,306
which you only get to go to
if you're a couple.
154
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:41,040
Well, we should have them over!
155
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,241
I love games!
156
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:43,812
Oh, my God, how much
fun would that be?
157
00:05:43,814 --> 00:05:45,554
Ben you have
their number, right?
158
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,547
It's in my phone.
159
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,749
(laughter)
160
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,381
-(laughing)
-Oh, my God.
161
00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:54,053
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
162
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:57,634
And that's why I have
dual citizenship in Guam!
163
00:05:57,628 --> 00:05:58,628
So...
164
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,491
Mrs. Wheeler.
165
00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:04,193
Mr. Bender, hi.
166
00:06:04,194 --> 00:06:06,374
What an odd,
why-am-I-not-surprised surprise.
167
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,396
What are you doing here?
168
00:06:07,398 --> 00:06:09,198
Oh, it's a funny story.
169
00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:10,239
Do you wanna tell it?
170
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,570
-Eh.
-Okay, yeah, I'll tell it.
171
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,254
So I came by
to meet you for lunch...
172
00:06:16,246 --> 00:06:17,446
We weren't having lunch.
173
00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:18,948
I know.
I forgot to invite you.
174
00:06:18,949 --> 00:06:21,309
And on my way out,
175
00:06:21,311 --> 00:06:23,611
Bendy here practically
ran me over,
176
00:06:23,614 --> 00:06:25,824
and somehow,
I ended up in his lap.
177
00:06:25,816 --> 00:06:27,416
Well, you know,
one thing led to another,
178
00:06:27,418 --> 00:06:30,018
and he insisted
on taking me out to lunch,
179
00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:31,120
so, well, here we are.
180
00:06:32,322 --> 00:06:33,492
So you kidnapped him.
181
00:06:34,665 --> 00:06:36,625
Isn't she hilarious?
182
00:06:36,627 --> 00:06:38,167
(louder)
She's hilarious!
183
00:06:38,168 --> 00:06:39,668
Ha!
184
00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:41,430
(wheezes, coughs)
185
00:06:44,535 --> 00:06:46,205
Oh, my God,
I love your laugh.
186
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,581
It's done.
187
00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:54,623
Sondra will not be
bothering us anymore.
188
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,515
If you need help
burying the body, count me out.
189
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:57,747
I hurt my back yesterday.
190
00:06:58,949 --> 00:07:00,789
No, man.
I told her the truth.
191
00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:01,891
That I wasn't interested
192
00:07:01,892 --> 00:07:04,732
in anything more
than a physical relationship.
193
00:07:06,096 --> 00:07:08,296
Tucker, women don't want
to hear the truth.
194
00:07:08,298 --> 00:07:10,098
Well, I mean, I guess
they probably do,
195
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:11,360
but it's just safer not to.
196
00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:15,113
Dude, but she just kept
going on and on about how
197
00:07:15,105 --> 00:07:18,505
we're so right for each other
and how she feels so betrayed.
198
00:07:18,509 --> 00:07:19,939
I mean, at least that's
what I think she said.
199
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,310
I had my earplugs in.
200
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,483
God, some people just
don't know how to move on.
201
00:07:26,076 --> 00:07:27,246
Oh!
202
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,317
That's what I should do!
203
00:07:28,318 --> 00:07:29,748
And we're back to you.
204
00:07:30,921 --> 00:07:32,151
I'm gonna show Danny
205
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,722
that Riley hasn't
completely moved on!
206
00:07:33,724 --> 00:07:34,794
But she has.
207
00:07:34,785 --> 00:07:36,585
-Well, you don't know that.
-But I do.
208
00:07:36,587 --> 00:07:37,887
You know what?
209
00:07:37,888 --> 00:07:39,528
I'm gonna find some
old photos of us together,
210
00:07:39,530 --> 00:07:41,260
leave them in her apartment
where Danny will see them,
211
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:42,861
and then he'll think
she's still pining over me.
212
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,063
But she's not!
213
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,874
You don't know that!
214
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,166
(knocking)
215
00:07:52,002 --> 00:07:53,342
Sondra, hi.
216
00:07:53,343 --> 00:07:54,953
-Look, I know this
must be hard on y--
-Shh.
217
00:07:56,547 --> 00:07:57,707
It's my turn, Tuckle-bear.
218
00:07:57,708 --> 00:07:59,508
I was doing a lot of thinking
219
00:07:59,510 --> 00:08:01,110
while I was cutting up
pictures of you.
220
00:08:01,111 --> 00:08:02,281
Um, I'm sorry,
221
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,452
what's up with your voice?
222
00:08:04,915 --> 00:08:07,215
If you must know,
I've also been drinking
223
00:08:07,217 --> 00:08:10,287
and alcohol makes my voice
kind of low and annoying.
224
00:08:11,962 --> 00:08:13,422
You know what?
225
00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:16,625
I think you might
have misunderstood
226
00:08:16,627 --> 00:08:18,697
what I was saying earlier.
227
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,499
Let's talk about this
over some wine.
228
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,971
Yeah. In my room.
229
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,244
Go ahead, girl!
I'mma get you! Go!
230
00:08:26,236 --> 00:08:27,476
(chuckles)
231
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,324
No, that's too obvious.
232
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:36,315
Oh! Nightstand.
233
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,447
What the hell are you doing?
234
00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:40,118
Riley! Hi! Uh...
235
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,590
I was just looking
for something I dropped earlier.
236
00:08:42,593 --> 00:08:43,993
-Hey, what is that?
Is that a picture of us?
-No.
237
00:08:43,994 --> 00:08:45,164
-Yes, it is.
-No, it's not.
238
00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:46,495
-Yes, it is. Let me see it.
-No, it's not, Riley.
239
00:08:46,496 --> 00:08:47,596
-Just let go. No.
-Ben, let me see the picture!
240
00:08:47,598 --> 00:08:48,658
(both grunt)
241
00:08:48,659 --> 00:08:49,929
What the hell is going on?
242
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,160
Dude, calm down.
243
00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:53,431
This is not
what it looks like...
244
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,313
but I completely understand
if you're jealous.
245
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,141
Ben, what is wrong with you?
246
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,572
I mean, are you actively
247
00:09:03,574 --> 00:09:05,224
trying to make Danny jealous?
248
00:09:05,215 --> 00:09:07,515
(sputters)
No, that's ridiculous.
249
00:09:07,517 --> 00:09:08,517
You think it worked?
250
00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:12,420
No, because he's not, all right?
251
00:09:12,422 --> 00:09:13,482
But if you keep this up,
252
00:09:13,483 --> 00:09:15,663
I mean, you can kiss
our friendship goodbye.
253
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:16,586
You want to kiss me goodbye?
254
00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:18,227
That would definitely
make Danny jealous.
255
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,689
Ben, oh, my God.
I am begging you.
256
00:09:21,692 --> 00:09:23,762
-Please! You cannot--
-Okay! Fine, fine, fine, fine!
257
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:24,944
I'm sorry, okay? Calm down.
258
00:09:24,935 --> 00:09:25,995
I'm sorry.
259
00:09:25,996 --> 00:09:27,066
Forgive me?
260
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,067
I'm sorry.
261
00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:31,771
Thank you.
262
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,572
-It's just that--
-Oh, my-- oh, my God.
263
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,983
-Oh, no, no, no!
-My-- my-- my-- my hand!
It-- it's okay. It's fine.
264
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,105
-No, don't pull it!
It's gonna snag!
-It's caught on your shirt!
265
00:09:37,107 --> 00:09:38,607
-This is an expensive shirt!
-Hey, Riley, I was just
wondering if you wanted to...
266
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,559
Hey, what's up, Danny?
267
00:09:52,322 --> 00:09:53,392
Bonnie:
What?
268
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,503
You're a real estate attorney?
269
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:57,325
I'm a real estate agent.
270
00:09:57,327 --> 00:10:00,297
With your money
and my sales associates...
271
00:10:02,532 --> 00:10:04,602
we would be unstoppable!
272
00:10:06,476 --> 00:10:08,806
You have kind eyes, Margaret.
273
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,209
(chuckles)
274
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,780
Again, it's Bonnie.
275
00:10:12,783 --> 00:10:13,943
But thank you.
276
00:10:15,545 --> 00:10:17,015
So do you...
277
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,787
in a bloodshot,
cataracty sort of way.
278
00:10:21,491 --> 00:10:24,091
I'm being honored
at a banquet.
279
00:10:24,094 --> 00:10:25,834
Will you come as my date?
280
00:10:26,857 --> 00:10:28,527
What do you say, Beatrice?
281
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:34,260
Well, I say let's party
like it's 1899!
282
00:10:34,264 --> 00:10:35,474
Yeah!
283
00:10:35,465 --> 00:10:37,765
Or whatever year
you're from. So...
284
00:10:37,768 --> 00:10:40,338
All right, you know,
I'm gonna go get us
some more drinks, okay?
285
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,610
Here you go.
286
00:10:41,611 --> 00:10:42,611
Yeah.
287
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:45,784
Tucker, I just got
the craziest idea.
288
00:10:45,776 --> 00:10:46,616
(whispering)
289
00:10:47,718 --> 00:10:48,848
Damn, girl!
290
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,879
I'm gonna need
different shoes for that!
291
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:55,592
Uh-oh, I can see
the bottom of my wine glass.
292
00:10:55,585 --> 00:10:57,385
(chuckles)
293
00:10:57,387 --> 00:10:58,527
I'm on it.
294
00:11:01,932 --> 00:11:03,792
Mrs. Wheeler.
295
00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:05,774
How's it going with Father Time?
296
00:11:07,097 --> 00:11:09,437
Oh, can you ask him
what happened to the dinosaurs?
297
00:11:09,439 --> 00:11:10,799
Oh.
(scoffs)
298
00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:12,501
Yeah, like you're any better.
299
00:11:12,502 --> 00:11:16,012
Trying to muzzle
that pterodactyl
with chardonnay.
300
00:11:16,006 --> 00:11:18,706
Hey, hey, she is getting
herself drunk, all right?
301
00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:20,509
What am I supposed to do?
302
00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:22,110
Not sleep with someone
303
00:11:22,112 --> 00:11:24,612
whose sober voice makes me want
to go cordless bungee jumping?
304
00:11:25,956 --> 00:11:27,386
And what am I supposed to do?
305
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,987
Not seduce one of the most
powerful men in real estate
306
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,260
to further my career?
307
00:11:34,624 --> 00:11:36,834
-We're horrible people.
-Yes.
308
00:11:36,827 --> 00:11:37,927
Yes, we are.
309
00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:39,668
-Well, you in particular.
-What?
310
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,531
Well, what do you think
we should do?
311
00:11:42,532 --> 00:11:44,202
Say a few "Hail Marys,"
do a couple of shots,
312
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,544
and pretend we're cool with it?
313
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,477
In the meantime,
314
00:11:48,478 --> 00:11:49,978
Bendy just invited me
to a hot party.
315
00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:51,180
-Do you want to come?
-Open bar?
316
00:11:51,181 --> 00:11:52,241
-You know it.
-We'll be there.
317
00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:58,247
Oh, hey, Tuck.
318
00:11:58,248 --> 00:11:59,388
About to head out.
319
00:11:59,389 --> 00:12:00,789
Oh. Away game?
320
00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:01,821
Yeah, just for us.
321
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,292
The other team's
playing at home.
322
00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:07,526
But you're gonna
miss Riley's speech.
323
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:08,557
That's okay.
324
00:12:08,558 --> 00:12:09,858
She practiced on me
this morning.
325
00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:12,530
You're probably gonna wish
you had an away game too.
326
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,562
I'm gonna go grab
a quick shower
before I take off.
327
00:12:14,564 --> 00:12:15,574
All right.
328
00:12:21,671 --> 00:12:22,911
(pipes banging)
329
00:12:22,913 --> 00:12:25,723
Aah. The pipes.
330
00:12:25,715 --> 00:12:27,645
I'll take this one...
331
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,419
Should probably take these too.
332
00:12:31,421 --> 00:12:32,621
(door opens)
333
00:12:32,622 --> 00:12:33,982
Knock, knock.
Oh, hey, Tuck.
334
00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:35,694
-Is Danny here?
-Yeah. He's in the shower.
335
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,267
(shower running)
336
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,801
Ben:
What the--
337
00:12:52,803 --> 00:12:53,703
-(Riley screams)
-(ratting, thump)
338
00:12:56,046 --> 00:12:57,076
Seriously?
339
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,747
Danny! Hey...
340
00:12:59,749 --> 00:13:01,009
Riley:
Oh, Dan-- Wait!
341
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,193
-Ugh.
-(door slams shut)
342
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,715
-Been working out?
-Get off of me.
343
00:13:12,762 --> 00:13:13,792
(shutter clicks)
344
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,403
Uh, what the hell
are you doing here?
345
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,095
Oh, I just came
to show my support
346
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,967
and thought I'd send Danny
a few snaps from your big event.
347
00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:20,799
-You want to get in one?
-Oh, my God. Stop.
348
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,230
Ben, this has to stop.
349
00:13:22,232 --> 00:13:23,972
Riley, this isn't
even about you.
350
00:13:23,974 --> 00:13:25,644
Oh, my God! I know.
351
00:13:25,635 --> 00:13:27,435
You know what?
It's never about me.
352
00:13:27,437 --> 00:13:29,177
It is always about you.
353
00:13:29,179 --> 00:13:31,139
You know what?
For once, it would be great--
354
00:13:31,141 --> 00:13:33,881
no, grand,
no, spectacular--
355
00:13:33,884 --> 00:13:36,154
if it could be about me!
356
00:13:36,146 --> 00:13:38,816
Do you have any idea
how hard this has been for me?
357
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,818
-Riley, it's not--
-Hard, Ben!
358
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,690
The answer is hard.
359
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,903
Do you know how many
age-appropriate single men
360
00:13:46,897 --> 00:13:48,257
there are in Manhattan?
361
00:13:48,258 --> 00:13:50,798
130,000!
362
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,460
Yep, I looked it up!
363
00:13:53,763 --> 00:13:55,813
Could I have fallen for,
like, one or two of those guys?
364
00:13:55,805 --> 00:13:59,535
Oh, no. I got to fall
in love with brothers!
365
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,769
And instead of being mature
366
00:14:00,770 --> 00:14:03,370
and realizing how crazy
this situation is,
367
00:14:03,373 --> 00:14:05,123
you are trying
to destroy me!
368
00:14:05,115 --> 00:14:06,245
Why, Ben? Why?
369
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,976
Why can't you just
let me be happy?
370
00:14:07,978 --> 00:14:10,778
Oh, my God, that felt so good
to get that all out at once.
371
00:14:13,924 --> 00:14:16,064
Now that you spell it all out,
I can kinda see how
372
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,856
this could be
a little stressful for ya.
373
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,327
Oh, could you?
374
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,532
Ben, please.
375
00:14:23,533 --> 00:14:25,643
I am begging you...
376
00:14:25,635 --> 00:14:27,165
to be the amazing guy
377
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,997
that I know
you can be and just...
378
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,200
let me move on.
379
00:14:33,904 --> 00:14:35,054
You're right.
380
00:14:35,045 --> 00:14:36,875
And I promise I won't be
a problem anymore.
381
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,108
(exhales)
Thank you.
382
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:41,750
Well, that's good.
383
00:14:41,751 --> 00:14:44,581
So, um, can you help me
find your mom and Mr. Bender?
384
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:45,794
He's the one
with her claws in him.
385
00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:50,589
I'll have another beer.
386
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,160
And for you, m'lady?
387
00:14:52,162 --> 00:14:53,662
Oh, nothing for me,
Tuckle-bear.
388
00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:54,933
My drinking days are over!
389
00:14:54,925 --> 00:14:56,195
What?
390
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,366
No. No, no, no.
391
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,827
Come on, girl.
Nobody likes a quitter.
392
00:14:59,829 --> 00:15:02,029
Well, I've just been drinking
way too much lately.
393
00:15:02,032 --> 00:15:04,002
Hello, wagon.
Meet this girl.
394
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:04,904
This girl is off the hooch.
395
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,744
"Hooch" is a funny word, right?
396
00:15:06,736 --> 00:15:08,406
-I had a cousin named Hooch.
He was a riot.
-Think I'll have a double.
397
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,908
He was this giant man
with a tiny chihuahua
with the worst gas ever.
398
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,310
Oh, my God, I really want
to get a dog,
399
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,412
but I don't know if I want
a big dog or a small dog.
400
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,443
You know, we can name it Stinky.
401
00:15:14,444 --> 00:15:15,654
You know, he named
his dog Stinky because
402
00:15:15,645 --> 00:15:17,445
his gas was really stinky
made this funny sound,
403
00:15:17,447 --> 00:15:19,947
so it'd be, like,
he'd be funny and be laughing
but he'd also be smelling it
404
00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:21,390
and be like,
"Ooh, that's Stinky,"
405
00:15:21,391 --> 00:15:22,921
so he'd be laughing
and gagging and laughing
and gagging.
406
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:23,992
There's, like, this whole
new word called "gagging."
407
00:15:23,994 --> 00:15:25,264
I don't think--
No, it's "gaughing."
408
00:15:25,255 --> 00:15:26,825
Is "gaughing" a word?
I don't think gaugh--
409
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,026
Did you know that you can make
a new word in the dictionary
410
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,758
if you just tell them a word
and then tell them the meaning
of the word?
411
00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:30,759
If they think
it's a good enough word,
412
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:31,760
they'll just add it
to the dictionary.
413
00:15:32,902 --> 00:15:36,072
Don't they make
motorized wheelchairs?
414
00:15:36,066 --> 00:15:38,506
Last time I pushed this long,
I went home with a kid.
415
00:15:39,769 --> 00:15:40,939
Bonnie, wait.
416
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,070
I-- I need your help.
417
00:15:42,072 --> 00:15:43,912
Oh, you want me to help you
418
00:15:43,913 --> 00:15:45,053
with your new
Wall Street project
419
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,475
by giving me
the exclusive listing?
420
00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:47,916
-Oh, Bendy!
-I can't--
421
00:15:47,917 --> 00:15:49,877
I can't believe it either!
422
00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:51,049
My-- my heart.
423
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:52,551
Well, my heart is
as full as yours!
424
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,722
I know!
425
00:15:53,723 --> 00:15:54,993
I'm-- I'm dying.
426
00:15:54,985 --> 00:15:56,725
I'm dying to start
working with you too!
427
00:15:56,726 --> 00:15:57,926
Oh, Bendy!
428
00:15:57,927 --> 00:15:59,987
My girls and I are
forever grateful!
429
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:02,430
Oh, my God!
430
00:16:02,432 --> 00:16:03,632
Oh, gosh!
431
00:16:05,695 --> 00:16:07,195
Bendy?
432
00:16:07,197 --> 00:16:08,497
Mr. Bender?
433
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,169
Are you...
434
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,241
are you okay?
435
00:16:12,242 --> 00:16:13,472
Are you? Huh?
436
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,983
Oh, God! No! God!
437
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,475
Oh, my God.
Okay, listen, all right?
438
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,377
Um, you just stay here
and I'm gonna go get some help.
439
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,910
God, why didn't
you say anything?
440
00:16:23,113 --> 00:16:24,383
Don't go into the light!
441
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,119
Mr. Bender!
There you are.
442
00:16:31,121 --> 00:16:32,891
Everyone has been
looking for you,
443
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,922
so let's get you in there.
444
00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:45,813
-What are you doing?
-I brought these!
445
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,505
What are you doing here?
What happened to your game?
446
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,977
I left right after
the final buzzer
447
00:16:48,978 --> 00:16:50,738
so I could be here
for my girlfriend.
448
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:52,040
What are you doing here?
449
00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,582
It's called friendship, Danny.
450
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,853
You know what?
Look, I'm sorry.
451
00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:58,085
I'll take my salt
and pepper shakers
452
00:16:58,088 --> 00:17:00,288
and my sugar caddy
and I'll be on my way.
453
00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:01,690
Good idea.
454
00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:03,821
No, no, no. Bad idea.
Ben, sit down.
455
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,263
Danny, take my seat, okay?
456
00:17:05,255 --> 00:17:07,025
No one is leaving
until after my moment.
457
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,996
I-- I mean...
458
00:17:08,998 --> 00:17:10,728
(louder)
after Mr. Bender's moment!
459
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:11,900
Okay.
460
00:17:14,104 --> 00:17:16,274
Oh, my God,
there you are.
461
00:17:16,266 --> 00:17:18,366
You had me freaking out.
462
00:17:18,368 --> 00:17:20,908
For a second there,
I actually thought you were...
463
00:17:22,372 --> 00:17:23,472
Yeah, that.
464
00:17:24,774 --> 00:17:26,784
I am gonna knock you dead, sir.
465
00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:29,446
(laughs)
Not gonna be that hard.
466
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:32,649
Um, don't you think you've had
enough to drink, Tucky?
467
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,262
No, because I can
still hear you.
468
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,285
What's that supposed to mean?
469
00:17:37,287 --> 00:17:39,827
It means the more I drink,
470
00:17:39,829 --> 00:17:41,129
the better you sound.
471
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,744
Ahem. Hello. Hi.
Hi, everyone.
472
00:17:46,736 --> 00:17:49,136
If I could please
have your attention.
473
00:17:49,139 --> 00:17:50,769
We are here to celebrate
474
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,200
a man so full of life.
475
00:17:53,203 --> 00:17:55,413
His very presence
lights up a room.
476
00:17:55,405 --> 00:17:58,105
Bernard Nathaniel Bender.
477
00:17:58,108 --> 00:17:59,108
(applause)
478
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,252
Well, you don't have to
hear this voice again
479
00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:05,824
because you know
who I'm done with?
480
00:18:05,815 --> 00:18:07,555
You!
481
00:18:07,557 --> 00:18:08,687
Oh!
482
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,818
I'm sorry, sir.
Did she get you too?
483
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:12,890
Oh, excuse me.
484
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,462
Sir?
485
00:18:14,464 --> 00:18:16,574
Holy crap!
This guy's dead!
486
00:18:16,566 --> 00:18:18,096
-(all gasp)
-Oh, my Lord!
487
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,297
He's just died
at this very moment
488
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,300
right now in front of everyone!
489
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:23,572
Stand back! I know CPR!
490
00:18:23,573 --> 00:18:25,143
-Yeah, so do I!
-What's your problem?
491
00:18:25,135 --> 00:18:26,375
This isn't a competition!
492
00:18:26,376 --> 00:18:27,836
Oh, really?
493
00:18:27,837 --> 00:18:29,307
'Cause I'm pretty sure you make
everything a competition!
494
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,139
You guys really think
it's a good time for this?
495
00:18:31,141 --> 00:18:32,381
Excuse me, excuse me.
496
00:18:32,382 --> 00:18:35,152
We have a dead guy
at table three!
497
00:18:35,145 --> 00:18:36,715
I already said I was sorry!
498
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,816
Sorry for what?
499
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,087
Grabbing my girlfriend's boob
500
00:18:39,088 --> 00:18:40,318
or me catching you
in the shower?
501
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,590
Wasn't the first time
for either!
502
00:18:41,591 --> 00:18:43,121
Oh, you're a dead man.
503
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,362
No, no, no, no.
This, this is a dead man!
504
00:18:45,355 --> 00:18:47,195
Oh, he's going down!
He's going down, people!
505
00:18:47,197 --> 00:18:49,657
-Can't you just for one second
admit that you're jealous?
-Jealous?
506
00:18:49,659 --> 00:18:52,129
I'm only jealous of people
who don't have you as a brother!
507
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,431
-Oh, it's on!
-It's not--
508
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,533
(screams)
509
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,674
Riley!
510
00:18:55,665 --> 00:18:57,835
Riley:
Oh, yep, he's definitely dead.
511
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,070
Oh, my God.
512
00:19:03,313 --> 00:19:05,113
Riley killed Mr. Bender.
513
00:19:06,976 --> 00:19:08,276
-Who wants to split a cab?
-I do.
514
00:19:08,278 --> 00:19:09,278
Okay.
515
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,785
Hey.
516
00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:17,886
Hey.
517
00:19:19,289 --> 00:19:20,329
(sighs)
518
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:21,260
We need to talk.
519
00:19:23,233 --> 00:19:25,373
I really am sorry
about this whole mess.
520
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:28,895
I was being childish
and immature, and...
521
00:19:28,898 --> 00:19:32,398
I just wanted you to admit
that I had meant something
to Riley.
522
00:19:33,643 --> 00:19:37,183
I wanted just for once
for you to be jealous of me.
523
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,178
Oh, my God.
524
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,979
Don't you get it?
525
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,881
I was lying.
526
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,963
Ben, I've watched
the girl of my dreams
527
00:19:45,955 --> 00:19:48,015
be in love with you
for two years.
528
00:19:48,017 --> 00:19:49,757
Every time she held your hand,
529
00:19:49,759 --> 00:19:52,819
every time she kissed you
and not me, it killed me.
530
00:19:53,863 --> 00:19:55,873
I'm tired of feeling jealous.
531
00:19:55,865 --> 00:19:57,195
I just want to get past this.
532
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,996
But I won't let you.
533
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,284
Maybe it's because
I never thanked you.
534
00:20:07,277 --> 00:20:08,337
For what?
535
00:20:08,338 --> 00:20:10,908
For what you did
at mom's wedding.
536
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,540
If it wasn't for you,
there would be no Riley and me.
537
00:20:13,543 --> 00:20:16,653
And I know that that was
probably the hardest thing
that you've ever done.
538
00:20:18,248 --> 00:20:19,218
So, thanks, bro.
539
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,790
Oh.
540
00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:23,251
So, I'm kind of
the hero in this story?
541
00:20:23,253 --> 00:20:24,453
-I'm good with that.
-Yeah.
542
00:20:24,454 --> 00:20:25,664
(chuckles)
543
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,456
Look, Danny...
544
00:20:28,458 --> 00:20:30,158
please trust me when I say
545
00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:32,159
I am truly happy
that you're with Riley now.
546
00:20:34,964 --> 00:20:36,144
How's she doing?
547
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,666
Eh, she'll be fine.
548
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:41,039
Has she been working out?
549
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,440
Yeah, man. She has.
550
00:20:45,315 --> 00:20:46,475
Don't tell her we did that.
551
00:20:51,281 --> 00:20:54,321
Okay, I've got
a fresh stack of fliers
552
00:20:54,324 --> 00:20:56,434
and the world's
cutest assistant.
553
00:20:56,426 --> 00:20:59,156
Okay, Emma. Can you show me
that dance we practiced?
554
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:00,788
Come on, show it.
555
00:21:00,790 --> 00:21:02,790
Yes! All right!
556
00:21:02,792 --> 00:21:04,192
All right.
557
00:21:04,193 --> 00:21:06,303
Let's go drum up
some business for grandma!
558
00:21:06,296 --> 00:21:08,196
Come on, sweetie.
559
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,239
Hey. What's going on?
560
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,340
Nothing.
561
00:21:12,342 --> 00:21:14,402
Just getting Emma ready
for Halloween.
562
00:21:14,404 --> 00:21:16,384
-Oh, cute.
-Mm-hmm.
563
00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:17,776
Let's hit Times Square, sweetie.
564
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:20,278
Wait a minute.
565
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,309
(door closes)
566
00:21:21,311 --> 00:21:22,281
Halloween's not for six months.
567
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,981
Mom? Mom!
37308
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