All language subtitles for Anchorman

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali Download
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:46,830 --> 00:00:50,136 There was a time, a time before cable, 3 00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:55,006 when the local anchorman reigned supreme, 4 00:00:58,007 --> 00:01:01,921 when people believed everything they heard on TV. 5 00:01:01,964 --> 00:01:06,052 This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. 6 00:01:07,921 --> 00:01:12,532 And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man than the rest. 7 00:01:12,576 --> 00:01:14,706 His name was Ron Burgundy. 8 00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:19,838 He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. 9 00:01:19,881 --> 00:01:24,274 He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr, 10 00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:27,232 and suits so fine 11 00:01:27,232 --> 00:01:29,667 they made Sinatra look like a hobo. 12 00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:34,712 In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls. 13 00:01:36,016 --> 00:01:39,191 Mmm. I look good. 14 00:01:40,279 --> 00:01:43,149 I mean, really good. 15 00:01:43,193 --> 00:01:47,889 Hey, everyone! Come and see how good I look! 16 00:01:56,109 --> 00:01:59,545 Mm, ehh, mm. 17 00:01:59,589 --> 00:02:03,154 Ribs. I had ribs for lunch. That's why I'm doing this. 18 00:02:03,198 --> 00:02:06,808 How now brown cow. How now brown cow. 19 00:02:06,851 --> 00:02:08,373 How now brown cow. 20 00:02:08,373 --> 00:02:11,940 How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? 21 00:02:13,026 --> 00:02:15,158 Maybe don't wear a bra next time. 22 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,680 No, I was talking to you. No, not her. 23 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:22,116 I don't know her name. What is it? 24 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,247 Lanolin? 25 00:02:26,421 --> 00:02:28,509 La-lanolin? Like sheep's wool? 26 00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:31,596 Unique New York. 27 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,510 Unique New York. 28 00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:35,511 Mm, I love Scotch. 29 00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:37,947 I love Scotch. Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch. 30 00:02:37,989 --> 00:02:39,512 Here it goes down. 31 00:02:39,512 --> 00:02:41,948 Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm. 32 00:02:41,991 --> 00:02:44,251 The arsonist has oddly shaped feet. 33 00:02:44,295 --> 00:02:48,253 How much time? 30? 30 seconds? 34 00:02:48,296 --> 00:02:51,515 - You are on. - I'm on right now? 35 00:02:51,558 --> 00:02:53,385 I don't believe you. 36 00:02:53,385 --> 00:02:56,342 - ♪ Doo doo doo. ♪ - Ron! 37 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,473 Oh, come on. Audrey. 38 00:02:58,517 --> 00:03:01,256 I look like hell. I got bags under my eyes. 39 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,387 What's that? If you were a man, 40 00:03:03,431 --> 00:03:05,345 I'd punch you right in the mouth. 41 00:03:05,345 --> 00:03:07,301 That's bush. Bush league. 42 00:03:07,301 --> 00:03:10,650 The human torch was denied a bank loan. 43 00:03:10,694 --> 00:03:14,390 You hear me? Audrey, look at me! 44 00:03:14,433 --> 00:03:15,869 I'm sorry. 45 00:03:15,869 --> 00:03:17,652 All right? I'm sorry. 46 00:03:17,652 --> 00:03:21,001 Ha ha! Ha ha ha ho! 47 00:03:21,045 --> 00:03:22,654 Ha ha ho. 48 00:03:22,654 --> 00:03:24,741 Ha oh! 49 00:03:26,220 --> 00:03:28,525 All right, we're on. 50 00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:30,526 Ready, Phil. 51 00:03:30,526 --> 00:03:32,613 We're on in five, four... 52 00:03:33,396 --> 00:03:35,527 When the clock struck 6:00, 53 00:03:35,571 --> 00:03:37,527 it meant one thing for Ron Burgundy 54 00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:39,963 and his news team: Go time. 55 00:03:40,007 --> 00:03:40,137 Channel 4 News, 56 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,224 Channel 4 News, 57 00:03:42,224 --> 00:03:45,051 with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor 58 00:03:45,051 --> 00:03:46,835 Ron Burgundy. 59 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,617 Champ Kind, sports. 60 00:03:48,617 --> 00:03:50,704 Ooh! Hoo-hoo! 61 00:03:51,488 --> 00:03:53,575 Brick Tamland, weather. 62 00:03:55,793 --> 00:03:58,620 And your reporter in the field, Brian Fantana. 63 00:04:02,316 --> 00:04:04,924 It's Channel 4 News at 6:00. 64 00:04:08,404 --> 00:04:10,406 Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy, 65 00:04:10,406 --> 00:04:12,797 and this is what's happening in your world tonight. 66 00:04:12,841 --> 00:04:16,276 A La Jolla man clings to life at a university hospital 67 00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:19,625 after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs 68 00:04:19,668 --> 00:04:21,452 in an abandoned pool. 69 00:04:21,452 --> 00:04:26,063 Hey, everybody! Shut the hell up! Ron Burgundy's on! 70 00:04:26,105 --> 00:04:28,975 Authorities are still uncertain as to why the man 71 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,585 - was loitering... - Ron Burgundy. 72 00:04:31,627 --> 00:04:33,715 Oh, my gosh! She said her first words! 73 00:04:33,715 --> 00:04:36,673 Right now it's 82' in our fair city, 74 00:04:36,716 --> 00:04:40,632 and compare that to 48' in the upper Northwest 75 00:04:40,632 --> 00:04:43,631 and 38' in the Middle East. 76 00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:46,023 Off the coast of Tampa Bay yesterday, 77 00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:48,459 one lucky cameraman happened to catch 78 00:04:48,502 --> 00:04:51,068 an unusual aquatic daredevil. 79 00:04:51,112 --> 00:04:54,765 What you're about to see is a Channel 4 News exclusive. 80 00:04:54,809 --> 00:04:57,591 His name is Nutty the Squirrel, 81 00:04:57,635 --> 00:04:59,724 and he's three years old. 82 00:04:59,724 --> 00:05:03,114 How 'bout that? 83 00:05:03,159 --> 00:05:06,943 That squirrel can water-ski. 84 00:05:08,464 --> 00:05:11,509 - Man, that's hilarious. - Yeah, that's good. 85 00:05:11,552 --> 00:05:14,205 For all of us here at News Center 4, 86 00:05:14,249 --> 00:05:15,727 I'm Ron Burgundy. 87 00:05:15,727 --> 00:05:17,640 You stay classy, San Diego. 88 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:22,119 You stay classy, San Diego. 89 00:05:22,163 --> 00:05:25,208 Listen up. The ratings just came in for last month. 90 00:05:25,251 --> 00:05:28,427 We are number one. We just grabbed every key demographic. 91 00:05:28,470 --> 00:05:30,601 - Super-duper, gang! - Yeah! Yeah! 92 00:05:30,644 --> 00:05:32,689 Super-duper! That's nice! 93 00:05:32,689 --> 00:05:34,340 Way to go! Neat-o, gang. 94 00:05:34,340 --> 00:05:36,036 - Yes! - Boy, Ed. 95 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,255 That is good news. I gotta be honest. 96 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,994 - Congrats, congrats. - That is good news! 97 00:05:41,037 --> 00:05:42,735 - All right! - Stick around. 98 00:05:42,735 --> 00:05:44,953 Make sure these guys don't party too much. 99 00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:47,692 - They don't really ever listen to me. - Just get it done. 100 00:05:47,736 --> 00:05:47,823 Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? 101 00:05:47,823 --> 00:05:51,693 Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? 102 00:05:51,693 --> 00:05:54,041 I've just been handed an urgent 103 00:05:54,085 --> 00:05:57,043 and horrifying news story. 104 00:05:57,086 --> 00:06:00,043 I need all of you to stop what you're doing 105 00:06:00,086 --> 00:06:01,522 and listen. 106 00:06:01,522 --> 00:06:03,740 Cannonball! 107 00:06:07,523 --> 00:06:10,611 Yes, these fellas were a real news team. 108 00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:14,351 Burgundy, of course, was the foundation, the rock. 109 00:06:14,394 --> 00:06:18,526 But each member brought their own special something to the equation. 110 00:06:18,569 --> 00:06:20,701 People call me the Bri-man. 111 00:06:20,745 --> 00:06:23,137 I'm the stylish one of the group. 112 00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:25,224 I know what you're asking yourself, 113 00:06:25,224 --> 00:06:28,486 and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis. 114 00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:30,529 It's called the Octagon. 115 00:06:30,529 --> 00:06:32,531 But I also nicknamed my testes. 116 00:06:32,531 --> 00:06:34,530 My left one is James Westfall, 117 00:06:34,530 --> 00:06:37,140 and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. 118 00:06:37,184 --> 00:06:40,880 You ladies play your cards right, you might get to meet the whole gang. 119 00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:43,141 Bang, boom, they were showing lasers 120 00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:45,576 every Friday night. 121 00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:49,056 Champ here. I'm all about havin' fun. 122 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:51,927 You know, get a couple of cocktails in me, 123 00:06:51,927 --> 00:06:54,014 start a fire in someone's kitchen. 124 00:06:54,057 --> 00:06:56,536 Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off. 125 00:06:56,579 --> 00:06:58,581 Anyway, I've become kind of famous 126 00:06:58,581 --> 00:07:01,581 for my signature catchphrase, "Whammy!" 127 00:07:01,625 --> 00:07:04,886 As in, "Gene Tenace at the plate... 128 00:07:04,929 --> 00:07:07,843 and whammy!" 129 00:07:07,887 --> 00:07:09,975 Whammy! 130 00:07:16,455 --> 00:07:17,846 I'm Brick Tamland. 131 00:07:17,846 --> 00:07:20,413 People seem to like me because I am polite 132 00:07:20,455 --> 00:07:22,326 and I'm rarely late. 133 00:07:22,326 --> 00:07:24,325 I like to eat ice cream, 134 00:07:24,325 --> 00:07:27,545 and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. 135 00:07:27,588 --> 00:07:29,849 Years later, a doctor will tell me 136 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,633 that I have an IQ of 48 137 00:07:32,676 --> 00:07:34,763 and am what some people call 138 00:07:34,807 --> 00:07:36,808 "mentally retarded." 139 00:07:36,808 --> 00:07:38,417 Hello! 140 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:41,070 - Whoo! Marco! - Polo! 141 00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:44,418 - Brian. - You having a good time? 142 00:07:44,418 --> 00:07:46,811 - I'm having a great time. - That makes two of us. 143 00:07:46,853 --> 00:07:48,593 You've gotta meet this girl. 144 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:51,768 She used to be a Charger cheerleader, but she broke her pelvis. 145 00:07:51,812 --> 00:07:54,117 Sherri, meet Ron Burgundy. 146 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,291 - Hey, Ron. - Hello. 147 00:07:56,335 --> 00:07:58,597 - I've got a big story for you. - Mm-hmm. 148 00:07:58,639 --> 00:08:00,466 And it's right here. 149 00:08:00,466 --> 00:08:02,553 Well, hello. 150 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,338 You pointed to your boobies. 151 00:08:06,338 --> 00:08:08,468 Oh, my God, you did! 152 00:08:10,294 --> 00:08:12,643 - Ron Burgundy? - Yes? 153 00:08:12,643 --> 00:08:16,123 I have had a crush on you since I was a little girl. 154 00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:17,775 Let's go somewhere. 155 00:08:17,775 --> 00:08:20,951 I'm telling you, it don't get no better than this. 156 00:08:20,994 --> 00:08:23,690 We've been coming to the same party for 12 years, 157 00:08:23,734 --> 00:08:25,821 and in no way is that depressing. 158 00:08:29,169 --> 00:08:30,519 Ahh. 159 00:08:30,519 --> 00:08:32,692 ♪ Gonna make our own lightning ♪ 160 00:08:32,736 --> 00:08:36,171 ♪ Yeah, she got the way to move me, Cherry ♪ 161 00:08:36,214 --> 00:08:38,258 ♪ She got the way to groove me ♪ 162 00:08:38,258 --> 00:08:39,520 ♪ Cherry, baby ♪ 163 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,172 ♪ She got the way to move me ♪ 164 00:08:42,172 --> 00:08:44,348 ♪ She got the way to groove me... ♪ 165 00:08:47,696 --> 00:08:50,001 By the beard of Zeus! 166 00:08:54,393 --> 00:08:56,480 Excuse me. 167 00:08:57,742 --> 00:09:01,526 Ron, where you going? What, are you crazy? Ron! 168 00:09:01,526 --> 00:09:05,439 If you're coming down the baseline, you gotta take home plate from me! 169 00:09:05,483 --> 00:09:08,963 So there I go, head first, boom! 170 00:09:12,398 --> 00:09:14,485 I've lost her. 171 00:09:24,226 --> 00:09:26,314 Ohh. 172 00:09:33,056 --> 00:09:35,143 Hello. 173 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,230 Hello. 174 00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:40,797 Hope I'm not disturbing you, but, uh, 175 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,797 I saw you from across the party, and, uh, 176 00:09:43,841 --> 00:09:47,451 I don't usually do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. 177 00:09:50,104 --> 00:09:51,452 You have... 178 00:09:51,452 --> 00:09:53,975 an absolutely breathtaking... 179 00:09:54,018 --> 00:09:56,105 heinie. 180 00:09:56,584 --> 00:09:58,802 I mean, that thing is good. 181 00:09:58,845 --> 00:10:01,063 I want to be friends with it. 182 00:10:02,411 --> 00:10:05,412 Well, you certainly know how to compliment a woman. 183 00:10:05,456 --> 00:10:07,456 Now, if you'll excuse me. 184 00:10:07,456 --> 00:10:09,674 Do you know who I am? 185 00:10:11,414 --> 00:10:13,457 No, I can't say that I do. 186 00:10:13,457 --> 00:10:17,416 I don't know how to put this, 187 00:10:17,458 --> 00:10:20,589 but I'm kind of a big deal. 188 00:10:20,634 --> 00:10:22,112 Really? 189 00:10:22,112 --> 00:10:24,243 People know me. 190 00:10:24,287 --> 00:10:26,286 I've very happy for you. 191 00:10:26,286 --> 00:10:27,810 I'm very important. 192 00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:29,679 I have... 193 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:31,898 many leather-bound books, 194 00:10:31,941 --> 00:10:34,332 and my apartment 195 00:10:34,376 --> 00:10:36,812 smells of rich mahogany. 196 00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,856 That's stupid. 197 00:10:41,987 --> 00:10:45,378 No, no, that's... very exciting. 198 00:10:45,422 --> 00:10:47,555 Listen, can I-- 199 00:10:47,598 --> 00:10:49,728 can I start over again? 200 00:10:49,772 --> 00:10:51,772 Sure. 201 00:10:51,772 --> 00:10:54,817 I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there. 202 00:10:54,861 --> 00:10:56,818 If you like it, you can take it. 203 00:10:56,818 --> 00:10:58,426 If you don't, send it right back. 204 00:10:58,426 --> 00:11:00,513 Mm-hmm. 205 00:11:00,513 --> 00:11:02,601 I wanna be on you. 206 00:11:04,341 --> 00:11:07,341 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 207 00:11:07,385 --> 00:11:09,473 I-- 208 00:11:12,646 --> 00:11:15,256 I wanna be on you. 209 00:11:29,304 --> 00:11:31,304 Yoo-hoo! 210 00:11:31,304 --> 00:11:33,348 Baxter! 211 00:11:33,348 --> 00:11:34,958 Papa's home. 212 00:11:34,958 --> 00:11:37,046 There he is. There's my little man. 213 00:11:37,088 --> 00:11:39,349 You're okay? 214 00:11:39,393 --> 00:11:41,699 Of course I met a lady tonight. 215 00:11:43,655 --> 00:11:45,786 This one was different. I have to be honest. 216 00:11:47,048 --> 00:11:48,352 Quite different. 217 00:11:48,352 --> 00:11:51,049 What-- 218 00:11:51,093 --> 00:11:53,353 I'm lonely? I'm not lonely! 219 00:11:53,396 --> 00:11:56,876 I'm beloved by everyone in San Diego. 220 00:12:00,399 --> 00:12:03,052 Wow. 221 00:12:03,096 --> 00:12:06,010 You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. 222 00:12:06,052 --> 00:12:08,793 You're so wise. 223 00:12:10,053 --> 00:12:12,707 You're like a miniature Buddha 224 00:12:12,707 --> 00:12:14,490 covered in hair. 225 00:12:14,490 --> 00:12:16,663 Come again? 226 00:12:18,622 --> 00:12:21,534 You know I don't speak Spanish. In English, please. 227 00:12:21,578 --> 00:12:23,666 Huh? 228 00:12:23,666 --> 00:12:26,493 You pooped in the refrigerator? 229 00:12:26,536 --> 00:12:30,537 And you ate a whole wheel of cheese? 230 00:12:30,581 --> 00:12:32,450 How'd you do that? 231 00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:34,930 I'm not even mad. That's amazing. 232 00:12:34,973 --> 00:12:38,539 I forgive you. 233 00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,279 What do you say we get you in your pj's and hit the hay? 234 00:12:41,323 --> 00:12:45,194 Bedtime. Okay, come on. Let's go. Come on. 235 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,502 Oh, that was one crazy party. 236 00:13:02,545 --> 00:13:05,285 I am hung over. 237 00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:07,808 I woke up this morning 238 00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:20,768 All right, guys. Let's focus up. 239 00:13:20,812 --> 00:13:23,290 Morning, everyone. 240 00:13:23,334 --> 00:13:26,073 Here are the stories we're going to be chasing today. 241 00:13:26,116 --> 00:13:27,813 It looks like Ling Wong, 242 00:13:27,813 --> 00:13:30,727 the rare panda at the San Diego Zoo, is pregnant. 243 00:13:30,771 --> 00:13:32,424 This is a big one. 244 00:13:32,424 --> 00:13:35,250 This could be the big story of the summer. 245 00:13:35,294 --> 00:13:38,164 Network is gonna be wanting plenty of coverage. 246 00:13:38,164 --> 00:13:40,903 And speaking of network, word on the street is 247 00:13:40,947 --> 00:13:42,948 they're looking for a new anchor. 248 00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:44,949 - So, Ron... - Huh? Network? 249 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,036 Are they here? 250 00:13:51,516 --> 00:13:54,342 A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining 251 00:13:54,386 --> 00:13:57,213 about a lack of diversity on the news team. 252 00:14:03,606 --> 00:14:05,823 What in the hell's diversity? 253 00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:08,172 Well, I could be wrong, 254 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:11,737 but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship 255 00:14:11,737 --> 00:14:15,087 that was used during the Civil War era. 256 00:14:15,131 --> 00:14:17,827 I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned 257 00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:20,001 about the lack of an old wooden ship, 258 00:14:20,045 --> 00:14:22,306 but nice try. 259 00:14:22,349 --> 00:14:25,003 Diversity means that times are changing, 260 00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:27,221 and with that in mind-- 261 00:14:27,264 --> 00:14:30,222 - Ron, are you paying attention? - Nope. 262 00:14:30,264 --> 00:14:32,396 - This concerns all of us. - Okay. 263 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:36,179 Keeping that in mind, I'd like to introduce the latest addition 264 00:14:36,222 --> 00:14:38,354 to the KVWN News Team, 265 00:14:38,397 --> 00:14:41,094 directly from WYPN 266 00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:44,312 in Asheville, North Carolina, 267 00:14:44,356 --> 00:14:47,357 Ms. Veronica Corningstone. 268 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,356 - ♪ Who's that lady? ♪ - Hello. 269 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,835 - ♪ Who's that lady... ♪ - Hello, everyone. 270 00:14:52,879 --> 00:14:55,314 - Oh! - I just want you all to know 271 00:14:55,358 --> 00:14:57,576 that I look forward to contributing 272 00:14:57,576 --> 00:15:00,751 to this news station's already sterling reputation. 273 00:15:03,448 --> 00:15:05,752 I mean, come on, Ed! It's bullcrap! 274 00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:08,188 Don't get me wrong. I love the ladies. 275 00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:11,623 They rev my engine, but they don't belong in the newsroom! 276 00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:14,972 It is anchorman, not anchorlady! 277 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:18,582 - And that is a scientific fact! - Uh-huh. 278 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,757 I don't know what we're yelling about! 279 00:15:22,931 --> 00:15:24,670 Ron, what do you think? 280 00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:26,757 She-- sh-- it's terrible! 281 00:15:26,757 --> 00:15:29,672 She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon! 282 00:15:29,716 --> 00:15:31,019 Mm-hmm. 283 00:15:31,019 --> 00:15:33,108 Loud noises! 284 00:15:34,021 --> 00:15:37,718 All right, everyone relax. She's not gonna take anyone's airtime. 285 00:15:37,761 --> 00:15:41,327 I read somewhere that their periods attract bears. 286 00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:44,110 Bears can smell the menstruation. 287 00:15:44,154 --> 00:15:47,720 Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? 288 00:15:47,764 --> 00:15:50,677 Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy. 289 00:15:50,721 --> 00:15:53,243 I will say one thing for her, Ed, 290 00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:56,419 she does have a nice, big old behind. 291 00:15:56,462 --> 00:15:59,635 I'd like to put some barbecue sauce on that butt 292 00:15:59,679 --> 00:16:02,288 and just bite, bite, bite, bite, munch, munch, munch! 293 00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:04,898 - Ah-whoo! - Stop it! Oh, Jeez. 294 00:16:07,856 --> 00:16:11,074 Look at the full-moon butt! 295 00:16:11,118 --> 00:16:13,205 Champ! Champ! Champ, Champ! 296 00:16:14,684 --> 00:16:16,771 Mr. Harken, I was just wondering 297 00:16:16,771 --> 00:16:18,814 if you knew when my office would be ready. 298 00:16:18,814 --> 00:16:20,903 Well, that might take some time. 299 00:16:20,903 --> 00:16:24,121 For now, why don't you just grab a desk in the bullpen? 300 00:16:24,164 --> 00:16:27,295 You can use my office! Then afterwards maybe we can go to lunch! 301 00:16:28,643 --> 00:16:30,166 Lower your voice, Ron. 302 00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:32,167 Mm-hmm! 303 00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:35,254 All right. Thank you, Mr. Harken. 304 00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:38,168 I'll go get my desk set up. 305 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,736 Oh, she is a saucy mama! I mean, I would... 306 00:16:50,562 --> 00:16:52,911 Here we go again. 307 00:16:52,954 --> 00:16:54,998 Every station it's the same. 308 00:16:54,998 --> 00:16:57,563 Women ask me how I put up with it. 309 00:16:57,607 --> 00:17:00,173 Well, the truth is, I don't really have a choice. 310 00:17:00,217 --> 00:17:02,174 This is definitely a man's world. 311 00:17:02,174 --> 00:17:04,392 But while they're laughing and grab-assing, 312 00:17:04,435 --> 00:17:06,088 I'm chasing down leads 313 00:17:06,088 --> 00:17:08,829 and practicing my nonregional diction. 314 00:17:08,872 --> 00:17:11,829 Because the only way to win is to be the best. 315 00:17:11,873 --> 00:17:13,960 The very best. 316 00:17:17,004 --> 00:17:18,613 Touchy situation. 317 00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:22,092 I think the best thing to do with this Corningstone, 318 00:17:22,092 --> 00:17:24,702 to keep her in line, is bed her quick. 319 00:17:24,745 --> 00:17:28,181 Oh, that behind is driving me loco! 320 00:17:28,225 --> 00:17:30,661 I'm like a night wolf. 321 00:17:30,747 --> 00:17:33,182 Guys, take it easy. Just take it easy! 322 00:17:33,225 --> 00:17:36,749 - She's got feelings, too. - Oh, my God! 323 00:17:36,791 --> 00:17:38,357 Listen to Burgundy. 324 00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:41,403 He's gone soft on us, like some schoolboy bitch. 325 00:17:41,446 --> 00:17:43,532 You sound like a gay. 326 00:17:45,881 --> 00:17:47,448 Hey! Come on! 327 00:17:47,448 --> 00:17:50,274 It's me, Papa Burgundy, all right? 328 00:17:50,317 --> 00:17:53,884 As far as I'm concerned, Corningstone's fair game. 329 00:17:53,928 --> 00:17:56,623 Huh? Let the games begin! 330 00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:58,799 Hi-ohhh! 331 00:17:58,842 --> 00:18:01,277 There he is. There he is. 332 00:18:01,277 --> 00:18:03,364 I'm very aroused. 333 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,757 What's this? 334 00:18:10,062 --> 00:18:12,149 Well, well, well. 335 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,891 Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team. 336 00:18:17,934 --> 00:18:20,021 Hello, Wes Mantooth. 337 00:18:20,064 --> 00:18:21,890 Hello, Evening News Team. 338 00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:23,414 Nice clothes, gentlemen. 339 00:18:23,414 --> 00:18:26,109 I didn't know the Salvation Army was having a sale. 340 00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:30,763 Am I right? Look at these guys. 341 00:18:33,285 --> 00:18:36,633 Hey, where did you get those clothes? 342 00:18:36,677 --> 00:18:38,765 At the toilet store? 343 00:18:41,636 --> 00:18:44,462 What are you doing on our station's turf, Burgundy? 344 00:18:44,505 --> 00:18:46,941 You're about to get a serious beat-down. 345 00:18:46,985 --> 00:18:50,420 I will smash your face into a car windshield 346 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,638 and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, 347 00:18:52,682 --> 00:18:57,161 out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again! 348 00:18:57,204 --> 00:19:00,031 Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? 349 00:19:00,074 --> 00:19:02,597 - Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! - Hey. 350 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,293 Leave the mothers out of this, all right? 351 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,860 It's unnecessary. 352 00:19:11,034 --> 00:19:14,165 Besides, I'm sure Wes here 353 00:19:14,209 --> 00:19:18,689 is just upset over finishing second in the ratings again. 354 00:19:18,732 --> 00:19:20,516 Ooh! 355 00:19:20,516 --> 00:19:23,038 That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy. 356 00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:25,169 You know those rating systems are flawed. 357 00:19:25,212 --> 00:19:27,431 They don't take into account houses that have 358 00:19:27,431 --> 00:19:31,039 more than two television sets and other things of that nature. 359 00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:34,389 I guess I have to take you at your word, 360 00:19:34,432 --> 00:19:36,519 Number Two. 361 00:19:38,650 --> 00:19:41,390 You have a great day, fellas. 362 00:19:41,434 --> 00:19:43,521 We'll see you around the bend. 363 00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:48,131 Son of a bitch! 364 00:19:48,174 --> 00:19:51,305 Excusez-moi, Numero Two. 365 00:19:53,785 --> 00:19:56,003 Hey, Burgundy. 366 00:19:56,047 --> 00:19:58,526 You know those sample audiences aren't big enough! 367 00:19:58,569 --> 00:20:02,047 Stop hiding behind those phony numbers, Burgundy! I'm coming after you! 368 00:20:02,091 --> 00:20:06,700 I hate you, Ron Burgundy. I hate you! 369 00:20:06,744 --> 00:20:09,876 You can't say one word? 370 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,050 Even the guy who can't think says something! 371 00:20:12,093 --> 00:20:14,703 You guys just stand there? Come on! 372 00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:20,053 Right, but I think my son is just going through a phase. 373 00:20:21,227 --> 00:20:22,923 I have no idea where 374 00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:25,750 he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. 375 00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:27,881 But you and I are mature adults. 376 00:20:27,925 --> 00:20:31,272 We've both seen our share of pornographic materials. 377 00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:32,795 Oh, you never have? 378 00:20:32,795 --> 00:20:35,534 Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. 379 00:20:35,578 --> 00:20:37,840 I was just speaking in generalities. 380 00:20:37,883 --> 00:20:42,276 I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye. 381 00:20:42,276 --> 00:20:45,277 Ed, she insisted on coming in. 382 00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:46,930 Mr. Harken, sir, 383 00:20:46,930 --> 00:20:49,929 I will not have my first story at this news station 384 00:20:49,929 --> 00:20:51,931 be about a cat fashion show. 385 00:20:51,931 --> 00:20:54,583 Miss Corningstone, ma'am, 386 00:20:54,627 --> 00:20:57,802 you will do the stories to which you are assigned. 387 00:20:57,845 --> 00:21:00,715 Mr. Harken, I am a damn good journalist, 388 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,934 and this cat show thing is grade-A baloney. 389 00:21:03,977 --> 00:21:06,978 It is not baloney. Now, go do your job, missy! 390 00:21:07,022 --> 00:21:09,239 It is baloney! 391 00:21:13,719 --> 00:21:16,111 Hey, Ron, 392 00:21:16,154 --> 00:21:18,504 I'm gonna take a run at the new girl. 393 00:21:18,546 --> 00:21:20,633 Let the games begin. 394 00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:23,764 Oh, Champ, Champ, we're not really gonna actually do that. 395 00:21:23,808 --> 00:21:26,026 - We were just flapping our gums. - Oh, yeah. 396 00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:28,158 You kill me, Burgundy. 397 00:21:28,897 --> 00:21:32,507 Let me just grab this. Oh, sorry about that. 398 00:21:32,551 --> 00:21:34,725 - Whammy. - Hmm. 399 00:21:34,769 --> 00:21:37,073 - Uh, Champ? - Yeah. 400 00:21:37,116 --> 00:21:39,683 You're trying to touch my breasts, aren't you? 401 00:21:39,725 --> 00:21:43,466 What can I say? I like the way you're put together. 402 00:21:43,509 --> 00:21:46,119 What do you say we go out on a date? 403 00:21:46,162 --> 00:21:48,642 Have some chicken, maybe some sex. 404 00:21:48,685 --> 00:21:50,337 You know, see what happens? 405 00:21:50,337 --> 00:21:53,251 Oh, let me get this over here. 406 00:21:54,774 --> 00:21:56,644 Sorry. 407 00:21:56,644 --> 00:21:58,992 Oh, there it is. 408 00:21:59,036 --> 00:22:01,209 I'll give this little cookie an hour 409 00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:03,341 before we're doing the no-pants dance. 410 00:22:03,341 --> 00:22:05,646 Time to musk up. 411 00:22:08,516 --> 00:22:09,907 Wow. 412 00:22:09,907 --> 00:22:12,779 It never ceases to amaze me. 413 00:22:12,822 --> 00:22:14,996 What cologne you gonna go with? 414 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,648 London Gentleman, or-- 415 00:22:16,648 --> 00:22:19,824 wait. No, no, no. Hold on. 416 00:22:19,867 --> 00:22:21,519 Blackbeard's Delight. 417 00:22:21,519 --> 00:22:24,303 No, she gets a special cologne. 418 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,260 It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. 419 00:22:28,303 --> 00:22:32,262 It's illegal in nine countries. 420 00:22:32,305 --> 00:22:34,784 Yep, it's made with bits of real panther. 421 00:22:34,784 --> 00:22:37,611 - So you know it's good. - It's quite pungent. 422 00:22:37,654 --> 00:22:38,959 Oh yeah. 423 00:22:38,959 --> 00:22:41,003 It's a formidable scent. 424 00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:44,091 It stings the nostrils. 425 00:22:44,135 --> 00:22:46,048 - In a good way. - Yep. 426 00:22:46,048 --> 00:22:48,875 I'll be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline. 427 00:22:48,918 --> 00:22:51,310 They've done studies, you know. 428 00:22:51,353 --> 00:22:55,137 60% of the time, it works every time. 429 00:22:55,137 --> 00:22:57,137 That doesn't make sense. 430 00:22:57,137 --> 00:22:59,572 Well... 431 00:22:59,572 --> 00:23:02,008 Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr. 432 00:23:07,183 --> 00:23:10,706 Hey, sweet cheeks. Got an invite I'd like to extend your way. 433 00:23:14,490 --> 00:23:16,186 My God. 434 00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:18,187 What is that smell? 435 00:23:18,187 --> 00:23:19,490 - Oh! 436 00:23:19,490 --> 00:23:21,666 That's the smell of desire, milady. 437 00:23:21,710 --> 00:23:23,797 God, no, it smells like-- 438 00:23:23,839 --> 00:23:27,145 like a used diaper filled with Indian food. 439 00:23:27,189 --> 00:23:29,189 Oh! Excuse me. 440 00:23:29,189 --> 00:23:31,190 Desire smells like that to some people. 441 00:23:31,190 --> 00:23:35,017 What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair! 442 00:23:39,453 --> 00:23:41,584 It smells like Bigfoot's dick! 443 00:23:43,628 --> 00:23:45,716 Oh, hell, that's rank! 444 00:23:47,976 --> 00:23:50,064 Oh, what's that smell? 445 00:23:54,328 --> 00:23:57,632 This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier. 446 00:23:57,674 --> 00:23:59,154 Yeah. 447 00:23:59,154 --> 00:24:00,806 It's very distracting. 448 00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:03,677 - When we get to the pet shop-- - Cough! 449 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,329 Look over here. 450 00:24:05,329 --> 00:24:07,242 Excuse me, Veronica. 451 00:24:07,242 --> 00:24:09,940 Yes, what is it, Brick? 452 00:24:09,983 --> 00:24:11,983 I would like to extend to you 453 00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:14,157 an invitation to the pants party. 454 00:24:15,202 --> 00:24:16,506 Excuse me? 455 00:24:16,506 --> 00:24:19,289 The party. The pants-- 456 00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:22,160 With the pants. Party with pants? 457 00:24:22,204 --> 00:24:23,638 Brick, are you saying 458 00:24:23,638 --> 00:24:26,160 that there's a party in your pants and I'm invited? 459 00:24:26,204 --> 00:24:27,814 That's it. 460 00:24:27,814 --> 00:24:30,728 Hmm. Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick? 461 00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:32,686 No-- yes, he did. 462 00:24:32,686 --> 00:24:37,338 Okay. No, I don't want to go to a party in your pants. 463 00:24:37,381 --> 00:24:39,078 Very well. Ian? 464 00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,077 Would you like to go to a party in my pants? 465 00:24:41,077 --> 00:24:42,992 No, Brick. 466 00:24:42,992 --> 00:24:45,079 All right. Let's go! 467 00:24:47,168 --> 00:24:51,254 All right, now... 468 00:24:51,254 --> 00:24:54,430 I'm telling you, she is a real ball-buster. 469 00:24:54,474 --> 00:24:56,561 A real ice queen. 470 00:24:56,604 --> 00:24:59,909 Mm. I just burned my tongue. 471 00:24:59,952 --> 00:25:02,214 The only way to bag a classy lady 472 00:25:02,257 --> 00:25:05,084 is to give her two tickets to the gun show... 473 00:25:08,129 --> 00:25:10,216 and see if she likes the goods. 474 00:25:12,259 --> 00:25:14,305 1,001. 475 00:25:14,305 --> 00:25:18,262 1,002. 476 00:25:18,306 --> 00:25:20,480 - Uh, Mr. Burgundy? - 1,003. 477 00:25:20,524 --> 00:25:22,828 Helen said that you needed to see me? 478 00:25:22,872 --> 00:25:24,263 Oh, Miss Corningstone. 479 00:25:24,263 --> 00:25:27,308 I wasn't expecting company. 480 00:25:30,482 --> 00:25:32,701 Just doing my workout. 481 00:25:32,744 --> 00:25:34,701 Tuesday's arms and back. 482 00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:37,919 - You asked me to come by, sir. - Oh, did I? 483 00:25:37,962 --> 00:25:40,050 Yes. 484 00:25:41,268 --> 00:25:43,529 Oh, it's the deep burn! 485 00:25:43,573 --> 00:25:46,661 Oh, it's so deep. 486 00:25:46,704 --> 00:25:49,706 I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. 487 00:25:49,748 --> 00:25:53,359 I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over 1,000. 488 00:25:53,401 --> 00:25:55,402 You have your ubulus muscle 489 00:25:55,402 --> 00:25:58,228 that connects to the upper dorsinus. 490 00:25:58,272 --> 00:26:00,534 It's boring, but it's part of my life. 491 00:26:00,577 --> 00:26:03,404 I'm just gonna grab this shirt, if you don't mind. 492 00:26:03,447 --> 00:26:06,752 Just watch out for the guns. They'll get you. 493 00:26:06,796 --> 00:26:08,536 You are pathetic. 494 00:26:08,536 --> 00:26:11,015 This has to be the feeblest 495 00:26:11,102 --> 00:26:13,668 pickup attempt that I have ever encountered. 496 00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:17,626 I expected it from the rest of them, Mr. Burgundy, but not from you. 497 00:26:17,626 --> 00:26:19,974 Wait a minute! I-- pickup attempt? 498 00:26:20,018 --> 00:26:21,539 I'm offended. 499 00:26:21,539 --> 00:26:23,931 I have little time to get to the gym, 500 00:26:23,974 --> 00:26:26,584 so I have to sculpt my guns at the office. 501 00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:29,542 Oh, stop calling your arms "guns." 502 00:26:29,586 --> 00:26:31,585 Look. 503 00:26:31,585 --> 00:26:33,760 My plan was to ask you 504 00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:36,412 if I could squire you about town 505 00:26:36,457 --> 00:26:39,110 as one professional helping another professional, 506 00:26:39,154 --> 00:26:42,197 because I know what it's like to be lonely in a new city. 507 00:26:44,546 --> 00:26:46,633 - Really? - Yes. 508 00:26:46,633 --> 00:26:49,242 But now I am too hurt. 509 00:26:49,286 --> 00:26:51,939 And shocked and offended 510 00:26:51,983 --> 00:26:53,331 and-- and hurt. 511 00:26:53,331 --> 00:26:55,244 I could do that. 512 00:26:55,244 --> 00:26:56,463 Really? 513 00:26:56,463 --> 00:26:58,419 Well, yes. 514 00:26:58,419 --> 00:27:00,419 As a journalist, I should get to know 515 00:27:00,419 --> 00:27:02,376 the city that I'm covering. 516 00:27:02,376 --> 00:27:05,334 - But this is not a date. - No, of course not. 517 00:27:05,378 --> 00:27:08,074 - Strictly professional. - Wonderful. 518 00:27:08,117 --> 00:27:10,466 - Hmm. - Great. 519 00:27:12,292 --> 00:27:13,814 Shall I pick you up 520 00:27:13,814 --> 00:27:15,902 8:00? 521 00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:19,598 Mm, 9:00. 522 00:27:20,730 --> 00:27:22,164 Downstairs? 523 00:27:22,164 --> 00:27:25,165 Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection. 524 00:27:25,165 --> 00:27:27,252 Really? 525 00:27:28,644 --> 00:27:31,123 Yes, I do. Um... 526 00:27:31,167 --> 00:27:33,906 I'm sorry, it's the-- 527 00:27:33,950 --> 00:27:36,297 - it's the pleats. - Mm. 528 00:27:36,342 --> 00:27:38,603 It's actually an optical illusion. 529 00:27:38,647 --> 00:27:40,647 It's the pattern on the pants. 530 00:27:40,647 --> 00:27:44,039 It's not flattering in the crotchal region. 531 00:27:44,082 --> 00:27:46,170 I'm actually taking them back right now. 532 00:27:46,214 --> 00:27:49,171 Taking them back to the pants store. 533 00:27:50,170 --> 00:27:52,476 Oh, this is awkward. 534 00:27:53,912 --> 00:27:56,782 and I will see you later. 535 00:28:05,610 --> 00:28:07,698 Don't act like you're not impressed. 536 00:28:07,785 --> 00:28:09,655 Frame up two. 537 00:28:09,655 --> 00:28:12,568 - Let's go to Brian Fantana live... - Gimme a tighter one on two. 538 00:28:12,612 --> 00:28:15,004 ...with a Channel 4 News exclusive. 539 00:28:15,048 --> 00:28:16,439 Brian? 540 00:28:16,439 --> 00:28:18,744 Panda watch. The mood is tense. 541 00:28:18,786 --> 00:28:21,441 I have been on some serious, serious reports, 542 00:28:21,484 --> 00:28:23,136 but nothing like this. 543 00:28:23,136 --> 00:28:26,181 I-- I-- Ching-- King is inside now. 544 00:28:26,225 --> 00:28:29,225 I tried to get an interview, but they said, "You can't. 545 00:28:29,269 --> 00:28:32,053 He's a live bear. He will literally rip your face off." 546 00:28:32,096 --> 00:28:35,053 Hey! You're making me look stupid! 547 00:28:35,096 --> 00:28:37,967 Get out here! Panda jerk! 548 00:28:38,011 --> 00:28:40,706 Great story. Compelling and rich. 549 00:28:42,620 --> 00:28:44,969 That's gonna do it for all of us at Channel 4 News. 550 00:28:45,012 --> 00:28:47,272 You stay classy, San Diego. 551 00:28:47,316 --> 00:28:49,405 I'm Ron Burgundy? 552 00:28:50,492 --> 00:28:54,232 Damn it! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter? 553 00:28:54,276 --> 00:28:57,580 For the last time, anything you put on that prompter, 554 00:28:57,624 --> 00:28:59,712 Burgundy will read. 555 00:29:01,929 --> 00:29:04,581 Oh, God, this is a mistake. 556 00:29:04,625 --> 00:29:06,495 This is a mistake. 557 00:29:06,495 --> 00:29:09,627 He's very cute. Very cute. No, he's not. He's hairy. 558 00:29:09,670 --> 00:29:12,106 There she is! Veronica! 559 00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,585 My little China doll. 560 00:29:14,629 --> 00:29:16,585 I am full of it tonight. 561 00:29:16,585 --> 00:29:19,064 Oh, silly. Hi. 562 00:29:19,108 --> 00:29:21,195 You look ravishing. 563 00:29:21,195 --> 00:29:24,196 It truly is beauty and the beast. 564 00:29:25,761 --> 00:29:27,676 I might add a handsome beast at that. 565 00:29:27,676 --> 00:29:29,415 Are you ready for our rendezvous? 566 00:29:29,415 --> 00:29:31,068 It's not a date. 567 00:29:31,068 --> 00:29:33,721 No, strictly professional. 568 00:29:33,764 --> 00:29:36,287 Doesn't mean we can't have fun. 569 00:29:36,331 --> 00:29:38,417 - Shall we? - Yes. 570 00:29:42,679 --> 00:29:44,768 San Diego. 571 00:29:45,767 --> 00:29:47,768 Mm! Drink it in. 572 00:29:47,768 --> 00:29:49,855 It always goes down smooth. 573 00:29:52,029 --> 00:29:54,031 What a beautiful view, Mr. Burgundy. 574 00:29:54,031 --> 00:29:57,378 I know. I love this city. It's a-- 575 00:29:57,422 --> 00:29:59,162 it's a fact. 576 00:29:59,162 --> 00:30:01,424 It's the greatest city in the history of mankind. 577 00:30:03,164 --> 00:30:06,512 Discovered by the Germans in 1904. 578 00:30:06,512 --> 00:30:09,686 They named it San Diago, 579 00:30:09,730 --> 00:30:13,774 which of course in German means a whale's vagina. 580 00:30:16,036 --> 00:30:18,950 N-- no, there's no way that's correct. 581 00:30:23,385 --> 00:30:26,212 I'm sorry. I was trying to impress you. 582 00:30:26,256 --> 00:30:28,038 Oh. 583 00:30:28,038 --> 00:30:30,779 I don't know what it means. 584 00:30:30,822 --> 00:30:33,779 I'll be honest. I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. 585 00:30:33,823 --> 00:30:36,172 Scholars maintain that the translation was lost 586 00:30:36,215 --> 00:30:38,216 hundreds of years ago. 587 00:30:38,216 --> 00:30:40,607 Doesn't it mean Saint Diego? 588 00:30:41,739 --> 00:30:44,522 No. No. 589 00:30:44,566 --> 00:30:47,088 No, that's-- that's what it means. 590 00:30:47,132 --> 00:30:48,480 Really. 591 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,002 Well, agree to disagree. 592 00:30:55,394 --> 00:30:57,351 May I take your order? 593 00:30:57,351 --> 00:31:00,700 Yes, I am going to have three fingers of Glenlivet 594 00:31:00,743 --> 00:31:03,614 with a little bit of pepper, and, uh, some cheese. 595 00:31:03,658 --> 00:31:05,571 Very good. 596 00:31:05,571 --> 00:31:07,528 A Manhattan, and kick the vermouth 597 00:31:07,528 --> 00:31:09,659 in the side with a pair of steel-toed boots. 598 00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:11,573 - Certainly. - Thank you, Scott. 599 00:31:11,573 --> 00:31:13,616 Thank you. 600 00:31:13,616 --> 00:31:16,182 Wow. Quite a drink order. 601 00:31:16,226 --> 00:31:19,400 Oh, well, when in Rome. 602 00:31:19,444 --> 00:31:21,010 Yes? 603 00:31:21,010 --> 00:31:22,924 Please, go on. 604 00:31:22,924 --> 00:31:26,402 Uh, do as the Romans do? 605 00:31:26,446 --> 00:31:28,185 It's an old expression. 606 00:31:28,185 --> 00:31:30,403 Oh! I've never heard of it. 607 00:31:30,446 --> 00:31:32,230 - Oh. - It's wonderful, though. 608 00:31:32,230 --> 00:31:34,492 Mr. Burgundy. 609 00:31:34,535 --> 00:31:36,928 - Tino! How are you? - So good to see you. 610 00:31:36,971 --> 00:31:38,623 You're looking fantastic. 611 00:31:38,623 --> 00:31:40,623 Tino, Veronica. 612 00:31:40,623 --> 00:31:43,233 Veronica. What a pretty girlfriend. 613 00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:45,277 - Drinks are on Tino tonight. - No, no, no. 614 00:31:45,277 --> 00:31:47,755 We're work associates. I work at the station. 615 00:31:47,799 --> 00:31:50,931 - I'm a journalist. - Oh, okay. This is a good guy. 616 00:31:50,975 --> 00:31:53,105 Tino's the finest club owner in the city. 617 00:31:53,149 --> 00:31:54,714 - My best friend, right? - Yes. 618 00:31:54,714 --> 00:31:57,846 Yes, we have a saying in my country about people like him. 619 00:31:57,889 --> 00:32:00,411 "The coyote of the desert 620 00:32:00,499 --> 00:32:02,673 always likes to eat the heart of the young, 621 00:32:02,717 --> 00:32:06,456 where the blood drips down to children for breakfast, lunch and dinner, 622 00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:09,283 - only the ribs will be broken in two." - Tino. 623 00:32:09,327 --> 00:32:12,066 Okay. Well, Mr. Burgundy, we will be honored 624 00:32:12,110 --> 00:32:14,807 if you will play "yazz" flute for us. 625 00:32:14,851 --> 00:32:16,764 - I can't. - Please. 626 00:32:16,764 --> 00:32:18,937 You play jazz flute? 627 00:32:18,981 --> 00:32:21,113 - I dabble. - Oh. 628 00:32:21,156 --> 00:32:24,288 Would everyone love to hear Ron Burgundy play "yazz" flute? 629 00:32:24,331 --> 00:32:27,593 - Get it goin', Ronnie! - Yes! Please. 630 00:32:27,636 --> 00:32:28,854 You, on stage now. 631 00:32:28,854 --> 00:32:31,637 Okay, I guess I can play a little ditty. 632 00:32:31,681 --> 00:32:33,420 - Honestly, I'm-- - Come on. 633 00:32:33,420 --> 00:32:37,117 - Give him a hand. - I'm not prepared. Not at all. 634 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,987 - Yeah! - This is a surprise, I'll tell you. 635 00:32:41,379 --> 00:32:44,032 Guys, "East Harlem Shakedown," E flat? 636 00:32:44,076 --> 00:32:45,684 Keep the cymbals splashy, 637 00:32:45,684 --> 00:32:47,815 and, Jay, let's take the bass line for a walk. 638 00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:53,512 Hold on. 639 00:32:53,512 --> 00:32:56,384 I'm not hearing it right. Hold on. 640 00:33:03,689 --> 00:33:05,776 We got it now. It's all right. 641 00:33:05,820 --> 00:33:07,908 Fire up, Ronnie! 642 00:33:09,561 --> 00:33:13,083 Little "Ham and Eggs" comin' at you. Hope you got your griddles. 643 00:33:19,824 --> 00:33:22,172 That's baby-makin' music, that's what that is. 644 00:33:28,217 --> 00:33:30,652 Let's go! 645 00:34:12,620 --> 00:34:14,708 Hey, Aqualung! 646 00:34:27,145 --> 00:34:28,320 Thank you. 647 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,408 Thank you! 648 00:34:36,844 --> 00:34:39,410 You were amazing. 649 00:34:39,454 --> 00:34:41,323 Mm. Thank you. 650 00:34:41,323 --> 00:34:43,454 Where did you learn to play like that? 651 00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:45,193 Well, jazz flute 652 00:34:45,193 --> 00:34:48,238 has always been a small passion of mine. 653 00:34:48,325 --> 00:34:51,283 So what other passions do you have, Mr. Burgundy? 654 00:34:51,326 --> 00:34:56,066 Well, I have one great passion that-- 655 00:34:56,111 --> 00:35:00,590 that lives deep within my loins, like a-- 656 00:35:00,634 --> 00:35:04,633 Like a flaming golden hawk: 657 00:35:04,677 --> 00:35:07,809 To one day become a network anchor. 658 00:35:07,852 --> 00:35:10,941 Well, believe it or not, 659 00:35:10,984 --> 00:35:13,028 we share the same dream. 660 00:35:14,027 --> 00:35:16,071 I too want to be an network anchor. 661 00:35:17,855 --> 00:35:19,986 God, you are so beautiful. 662 00:35:24,595 --> 00:35:26,683 We really should be going. 663 00:35:26,727 --> 00:35:29,814 I swore that I would never get involved with a coworker. 664 00:35:31,511 --> 00:35:33,599 Wait. 665 00:35:35,598 --> 00:35:38,600 What if, just for tonight, we weren't coworkers? 666 00:35:38,687 --> 00:35:41,426 We were co-people? 667 00:35:42,513 --> 00:35:44,557 - I don't-- - Shh. 668 00:35:45,819 --> 00:35:47,906 You be a woman. 669 00:35:47,950 --> 00:35:50,342 I'll be a man. 670 00:35:50,385 --> 00:35:52,473 That's all. 671 00:35:53,081 --> 00:35:54,690 Oh. 672 00:35:54,690 --> 00:35:57,822 You continue to surprise me, Mr. Burgundy. 673 00:36:18,391 --> 00:36:21,741 Oh, I'm storming your castle on my steed, milady. 674 00:36:26,395 --> 00:36:29,222 Oh, mi corazón es en fuego! 675 00:36:29,266 --> 00:36:31,527 Julio, fuego, fuego, fuego! 676 00:36:31,570 --> 00:36:33,875 Wait, stop. Stop talking like that. 677 00:36:33,918 --> 00:36:36,440 - I can't understand you. - Sorry. 678 00:36:40,877 --> 00:36:42,877 Take me to Pleasure Town! 679 00:36:42,877 --> 00:36:44,964 - Oh, we're going there! - Oh! 680 00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:52,184 ♪ Love is like candy on a shelf ♪ 681 00:36:53,663 --> 00:36:57,620 ♪ You want to taste and help yourself... ♪ 682 00:36:57,620 --> 00:37:00,186 I friggin' love you! 683 00:37:00,230 --> 00:37:02,273 I friggin' love you back! 684 00:37:02,273 --> 00:37:04,753 ♪ Help yourself, take a few ♪ 685 00:37:04,796 --> 00:37:07,623 ♪ That's what I want you to do... ♪ 686 00:37:07,666 --> 00:37:10,624 Look! The most glorious rainbow ever! 687 00:37:10,668 --> 00:37:12,451 Oh, do me on it! 688 00:37:12,451 --> 00:37:15,538 ♪ Just say the word and they are yours... ♪ 689 00:37:15,582 --> 00:37:19,452 Whee! 690 00:37:19,496 --> 00:37:24,411 ♪ In my heart your smile has opened up the door ♪ 691 00:37:24,454 --> 00:37:28,411 ♪ The greatest wealth that exists in the world. ♪ 692 00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:30,499 Mmm. 693 00:37:30,499 --> 00:37:32,586 Well done, sir. 694 00:37:37,110 --> 00:37:39,805 Tip of the cap to you as well, Miss Corningstone. 695 00:37:46,504 --> 00:37:49,069 I'm having very strong feelings for you, Mr. Burgundy. 696 00:37:49,113 --> 00:37:50,679 Mm. 697 00:37:50,679 --> 00:37:54,071 But it's very important to me that I be viewed as a professional. 698 00:37:54,115 --> 00:37:56,114 - Right. - Hmm. 699 00:37:56,114 --> 00:37:58,941 When in Rome. 700 00:37:58,984 --> 00:38:00,333 Yeah. 701 00:38:00,333 --> 00:38:02,246 That, uh, expression 702 00:38:02,246 --> 00:38:04,768 doesn't really apply to what I'm talking about. 703 00:38:04,812 --> 00:38:06,855 - Oh, I'm-- - What I was saying. 704 00:38:06,855 --> 00:38:09,857 I still don't quite understand what it means. 705 00:38:09,857 --> 00:38:12,119 Oh, no. You'll find it. 706 00:38:14,510 --> 00:38:16,511 No, I was saying that, 707 00:38:16,511 --> 00:38:18,598 if we continue seeing each other, 708 00:38:18,641 --> 00:38:22,382 that we should keep it relatively quiet around the station. 709 00:38:22,426 --> 00:38:24,208 Absolutely, 710 00:38:24,208 --> 00:38:26,862 my wild love tigress. 711 00:38:30,166 --> 00:38:32,299 Tasteful discretion is the name of the game. 712 00:38:32,341 --> 00:38:34,428 Mm-hmm. 713 00:38:36,734 --> 00:38:39,735 Veronica Corningstone and I had sex, 714 00:38:39,735 --> 00:38:42,908 and now we are in love! 715 00:38:43,952 --> 00:38:46,171 Did I say that loud? 716 00:38:46,214 --> 00:38:48,475 Yeah, you pretty much yelled it. 717 00:38:48,519 --> 00:38:50,607 Well, I can't help it. 718 00:38:50,607 --> 00:38:52,172 It's fantastic! 719 00:38:52,172 --> 00:38:55,303 - What's it like, Ron? - The intimate times? 720 00:38:55,347 --> 00:38:57,825 Outta sight, my man! 721 00:38:59,217 --> 00:39:02,610 No. The other thing. 722 00:39:02,654 --> 00:39:04,219 Love. 723 00:39:04,219 --> 00:39:06,872 Yeah. What is that? 724 00:39:06,915 --> 00:39:10,699 Well, it's tough to explain. 725 00:39:10,743 --> 00:39:14,614 - I think I was in love once. - Really, what was her name? 726 00:39:14,656 --> 00:39:16,091 I don't remember. 727 00:39:16,091 --> 00:39:19,049 That's not a good start, but keep going. 728 00:39:19,093 --> 00:39:21,136 She was Brazilian. 729 00:39:21,136 --> 00:39:23,572 Or Chinese, or something weird. 730 00:39:23,615 --> 00:39:26,573 I met her in the bathroom of a K-mart, 731 00:39:26,616 --> 00:39:28,791 and we made out for hours. 732 00:39:28,834 --> 00:39:32,227 Then we parted ways, never to see each other again. 733 00:39:32,270 --> 00:39:34,706 I'm pretty sure that's not love. 734 00:39:34,750 --> 00:39:36,140 Damn it! 735 00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:38,228 I love... 736 00:39:39,533 --> 00:39:41,621 carpet. 737 00:39:43,404 --> 00:39:46,100 I love desk. 738 00:39:46,143 --> 00:39:49,970 Are you just looking at things in the office and saying you love them? 739 00:39:49,970 --> 00:39:51,839 I love lamp. 740 00:39:51,839 --> 00:39:55,581 Do you really love the lamp, or are you saying it because you saw it? 741 00:39:55,624 --> 00:39:59,320 I love lamp! I love lamp. 742 00:39:59,364 --> 00:40:01,582 You really want to know what love is? 743 00:40:01,626 --> 00:40:03,886 - Yeah. - Yes, tell us. 744 00:40:03,930 --> 00:40:06,019 More than anything in the world. 745 00:40:06,887 --> 00:40:09,802 Well, it's really quite simple. 746 00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:13,454 It's kind of like... 747 00:40:15,021 --> 00:40:18,108 ♪ Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight ♪ 748 00:40:18,152 --> 00:40:21,588 ♪ Gonna grab some afternoon delight ♪ 749 00:40:21,630 --> 00:40:24,631 ♪ My motto's always been "When it's right, it's right" ♪ 750 00:40:24,631 --> 00:40:28,240 ♪ Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night ♪ 751 00:40:28,284 --> 00:40:34,461 ♪ When everything's a little clearer in the light of day ♪ 752 00:40:34,504 --> 00:40:36,809 ♪ And we know the night ♪ 753 00:40:36,852 --> 00:40:41,244 ♪ Is always gonna be there anyway? ♪ 754 00:40:41,288 --> 00:40:44,116 ♪ Thinkin' of you's working up my appetite ♪ 755 00:40:44,159 --> 00:40:46,984 ♪ Lookin' forward to a little afternoon delight ♪ 756 00:40:46,984 --> 00:40:49,986 ♪ Rubbin' sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite ♪ 757 00:40:50,030 --> 00:40:53,421 ♪ And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting ♪ 758 00:40:53,510 --> 00:40:55,379 ♪ Sky rockets in flight ♪ 759 00:40:55,379 --> 00:40:58,293 - ♪ Boo! ♪ - ♪ Afternoon delight... ♪ 760 00:40:58,336 --> 00:41:01,120 - Whoop! - You guys have it, I think. 761 00:41:01,163 --> 00:41:04,294 ♪ Afternoon delight. ♪ 762 00:41:04,337 --> 00:41:08,296 I don't know, Ron. That sounds kinda crazy. 763 00:41:08,339 --> 00:41:10,514 Sounds like you have mental problems, man. 764 00:41:10,557 --> 00:41:13,296 - Yeah, you got mental problems, man. - Yeah, he really does. 765 00:41:13,339 --> 00:41:14,515 Man. 766 00:41:14,515 --> 00:41:17,341 ♪ Afternoon delight. ♪ 767 00:41:17,385 --> 00:41:19,646 - Wanna make a phone call. - Freshen this up. 768 00:41:28,039 --> 00:41:31,780 Oh, look out. Next up, it's Whiskerus Maximus. 769 00:41:31,824 --> 00:41:33,867 He's ready to do battle in the arena 770 00:41:33,867 --> 00:41:36,694 against the tiniest lion you've ever imagined. 771 00:41:38,564 --> 00:41:41,087 I'm getting some great stuff, Miss Corningstone. 772 00:41:41,129 --> 00:41:43,348 Shut up. 773 00:41:43,391 --> 00:41:45,218 Oh, I hate cats. 774 00:41:45,218 --> 00:41:47,827 Let's just do my sign-off and get outta here. 775 00:41:49,089 --> 00:41:51,697 It was quite a show down here at the Pet Shack. 776 00:41:51,741 --> 00:41:55,872 Just for today, fashion curiosity did not kill the cat. 777 00:41:55,917 --> 00:41:59,396 I'm Veronica Corningstone for Channel 4 News. 778 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:03,049 That was our newest reporter, Veronica Corningstone. 779 00:42:03,093 --> 00:42:04,745 She's really great. 780 00:42:04,745 --> 00:42:07,963 I'd also like to share with you that we are currently dating 781 00:42:08,006 --> 00:42:10,704 and that she is quite a handful in the bedroom. 782 00:42:10,748 --> 00:42:12,573 Uh... 783 00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:15,227 That's gonna do it for all of us here at 6:00. 784 00:42:15,270 --> 00:42:17,966 For the Channel 4 News Team, I'm Ron Burgundy. 785 00:42:18,010 --> 00:42:20,097 You stay classy, San Diego. 786 00:42:21,053 --> 00:42:23,097 All clear. 787 00:42:23,097 --> 00:42:25,185 Uh-oh. 788 00:42:25,185 --> 00:42:27,881 I might be in trouble on that one. 789 00:42:27,925 --> 00:42:31,839 I can't believe that you said that we were dating on the air. 790 00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:35,535 Mmm! Mmm. That is good fondue. 791 00:42:35,579 --> 00:42:38,928 Don't you get it, Ron? I wanna be an anchor. 792 00:42:38,971 --> 00:42:41,407 That is never gonna happen if everyone in San Diego 793 00:42:41,451 --> 00:42:43,450 thinks that I'm your bimbo gal pal. 794 00:42:43,450 --> 00:42:45,452 I don't know what to say. 795 00:42:45,452 --> 00:42:48,061 I just-- I got excited. 796 00:42:48,104 --> 00:42:52,235 I just wanted to shout it from on top of a mountain. 797 00:42:52,278 --> 00:42:55,498 But I didn't have a mountain. I had a newsroom and a camera. 798 00:42:55,540 --> 00:42:57,063 Look. 799 00:42:57,063 --> 00:42:59,063 I report the news. That's what I do. 800 00:42:59,063 --> 00:43:03,456 And today's top story, in Ron Burgundy's world, 801 00:43:03,456 --> 00:43:05,718 read something like this: 802 00:43:05,762 --> 00:43:08,197 I love Veronica Corningstone. 803 00:43:12,329 --> 00:43:14,416 Oh, Ron. 804 00:43:18,807 --> 00:43:20,808 This is nice, gang, sittin' here. 805 00:43:20,808 --> 00:43:23,200 - Oh, yeah. - Brown baggin' it. 806 00:43:23,244 --> 00:43:26,723 The team pancake breakfast is tomorrow morning at 9:00 instead of 8:00. 807 00:43:26,767 --> 00:43:28,768 Oh! Almost forgot. 808 00:43:28,768 --> 00:43:31,072 I won't be able to make it, fellas. 809 00:43:31,115 --> 00:43:33,464 Veronica and I are trying this new fad called, 810 00:43:33,508 --> 00:43:35,421 uh, jogging. 811 00:43:35,421 --> 00:43:38,901 I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft "J." 812 00:43:38,943 --> 00:43:41,640 I'm not sure, but apparently you just run 813 00:43:41,684 --> 00:43:43,815 for an extended period of time. 814 00:43:43,858 --> 00:43:46,338 - It's supposed to be wild. - So Ron's not coming? 815 00:43:46,380 --> 00:43:48,033 No, Ron's coming. 816 00:43:48,033 --> 00:43:51,121 It's the pancake breakfast. We do it every month. 817 00:43:51,164 --> 00:43:53,035 I realize that. 818 00:43:53,035 --> 00:43:56,687 Sometimes you gotta look yourself in the mirror and say, "When in Rome." 819 00:43:56,731 --> 00:43:58,818 The bottom line is, 820 00:43:58,862 --> 00:44:01,906 you've been spending a lot of time with this lady. 821 00:44:01,950 --> 00:44:05,820 You're a member of the Channel 4 News Team. 822 00:44:05,864 --> 00:44:08,343 - That's a given. - We need you. 823 00:44:09,779 --> 00:44:11,866 Hell, I need you. 824 00:44:13,127 --> 00:44:15,345 I'm a mess without ya. 825 00:44:15,388 --> 00:44:17,781 I miss you so damn much. 826 00:44:17,824 --> 00:44:20,562 I miss being with you. 827 00:44:20,606 --> 00:44:24,216 I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. 828 00:44:29,741 --> 00:44:31,914 I miss-- I miss your scent. 829 00:44:31,958 --> 00:44:34,567 I miss your musk. 830 00:44:37,133 --> 00:44:39,654 When this all gets sorted out, 831 00:44:39,698 --> 00:44:42,700 I think you and me should get an apartment together. 832 00:44:44,743 --> 00:44:47,222 Just take it easy, Champ. 833 00:44:47,266 --> 00:44:49,702 Why don't you stop talking for a while? 834 00:44:49,745 --> 00:44:51,919 Maybe sit the next couple of plays out. 835 00:44:51,963 --> 00:44:53,529 You know what I mean? 836 00:44:53,529 --> 00:44:55,530 Yeah, I'm gonna quit sayin' things 837 00:44:55,530 --> 00:44:57,877 when they crop up in the ol' skull, huh? 838 00:44:57,921 --> 00:45:00,835 See what it's like when you're not here? 839 00:45:00,879 --> 00:45:03,879 You're our leader. Look what you're doing to the group. 840 00:45:03,922 --> 00:45:06,271 Champ's been a mess. Brick can't sleep at night. 841 00:45:06,314 --> 00:45:08,489 Here's the thing, 842 00:45:08,533 --> 00:45:10,360 I don't trust this chick. 843 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:13,056 We need you around, and she is just using you. 844 00:45:13,100 --> 00:45:15,273 Everyone, just relax. All right? 845 00:45:15,317 --> 00:45:19,405 Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women. 846 00:45:19,797 --> 00:45:22,058 I don't know, Ron. 847 00:45:22,102 --> 00:45:24,320 Guess what. I do. 848 00:45:24,363 --> 00:45:27,711 I know that one day, Veronica and I are gonna get married 849 00:45:27,755 --> 00:45:30,146 on top of a mountain. 850 00:45:30,190 --> 00:45:32,278 And there's going to be flutes playing 851 00:45:32,322 --> 00:45:35,191 and trombones and flowers 852 00:45:35,234 --> 00:45:37,758 and garlands of fresh herbs. 853 00:45:39,107 --> 00:45:42,368 And we will dance till the sun rises. 854 00:45:42,411 --> 00:45:45,195 And then our children will form a family band. 855 00:45:45,237 --> 00:45:47,238 And we will tour the countryside, 856 00:45:47,238 --> 00:45:49,326 and you won't be invited! 857 00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:55,937 I'm telling you, this lady has really crawled into Ron's head. 858 00:45:59,415 --> 00:46:02,634 Good. Good one! 859 00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:04,591 Oh, okay. I understand. 860 00:46:04,591 --> 00:46:07,505 You have a nice day, sir. Bye. 861 00:46:07,549 --> 00:46:10,288 Um, I could come back later, Mr. Harken. 862 00:46:10,332 --> 00:46:11,767 No, no, no. 863 00:46:11,767 --> 00:46:13,506 It's just parent stuff. 864 00:46:13,506 --> 00:46:16,159 It seems that our youngest, Chris, was 865 00:46:16,203 --> 00:46:18,030 on something called acid 866 00:46:18,030 --> 00:46:20,595 and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. 867 00:46:20,638 --> 00:46:22,725 - Mm. - You know how kids are. 868 00:46:22,769 --> 00:46:24,639 Oh. Right. 869 00:46:24,639 --> 00:46:27,336 Anyhoo, what can I do you for? 870 00:46:27,380 --> 00:46:28,684 Well, Mr. Harken, 871 00:46:28,684 --> 00:46:31,685 I feel like I have proven myself as a journalist 872 00:46:31,772 --> 00:46:33,773 and that I deserve the opportunity 873 00:46:33,773 --> 00:46:35,904 to take on more challenging stories. 874 00:46:35,946 --> 00:46:38,078 Well, ask and you shall receive. 875 00:46:38,122 --> 00:46:41,428 Ah, yes, this just came across my desk. 876 00:46:41,470 --> 00:46:43,862 Here is a story of a 103-year-old woman 877 00:46:43,906 --> 00:46:47,732 who claims to have a recipe for the world's greatest meat loaf. 878 00:46:47,776 --> 00:46:49,863 Ooh, now that's a hot lead. 879 00:46:49,907 --> 00:46:53,213 It was very hard for Veronica. 880 00:46:53,255 --> 00:46:55,952 But she was a pro and hung tough. 881 00:46:55,952 --> 00:46:59,301 But soon, with a simple act of littering, 882 00:46:59,343 --> 00:47:01,867 everyone's life would change forever. 883 00:47:01,910 --> 00:47:03,998 ♪ La la la la la. ♪ 884 00:47:07,172 --> 00:47:10,565 ♪ Oh, Baxter, you are my little gentleman ♪ 885 00:47:10,609 --> 00:47:12,653 ♪ I'll take you to foggy London Town ♪ 886 00:47:12,653 --> 00:47:14,130 ♪ Because you are what? ♪ 887 00:47:14,130 --> 00:47:16,915 ♪ My little gentleman. ♪ 888 00:47:16,958 --> 00:47:19,872 This burrito is delicious, but it is filling. 889 00:47:19,916 --> 00:47:22,221 Whoa! 890 00:47:23,612 --> 00:47:25,700 Antony and Cleopatra! 891 00:47:32,352 --> 00:47:34,659 Goddamn son of-- 892 00:47:36,007 --> 00:47:37,615 What the hell, bro'? 893 00:47:37,615 --> 00:47:39,833 Hello, neighbor. 894 00:47:39,877 --> 00:47:42,095 Did you just throw a burrito out your window? 895 00:47:42,139 --> 00:47:43,356 I believe I did. 896 00:47:43,356 --> 00:47:46,314 Are you high or something? Did you see what happened? 897 00:47:46,357 --> 00:47:49,140 I did. That was a terrific spill. That's quite a raspberry. 898 00:47:49,183 --> 00:47:51,923 That's my chopper you just thrashed, Broseph. 899 00:47:51,967 --> 00:47:55,490 Easy, compadre. I'm your friend out here, all right? 900 00:47:55,534 --> 00:47:58,969 I want you to fix my chopper before I stomp your goofy ass! 901 00:47:59,011 --> 00:48:01,057 If you want to throw down, fine. 902 00:48:01,057 --> 00:48:04,448 I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for you. 903 00:48:04,492 --> 00:48:06,797 You destroyed the only thing I love. 904 00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,972 All right? There it is. What do you love? 905 00:48:10,016 --> 00:48:12,103 I love poetry. 906 00:48:12,103 --> 00:48:14,364 And a glass of Scotch. 907 00:48:14,408 --> 00:48:17,191 And, of course, my friend Baxter here. 908 00:48:17,235 --> 00:48:19,931 Well, guess what. Now this is happenin'. 909 00:48:19,975 --> 00:48:22,975 Excuse me. Excuse me. What are you doing? 910 00:48:25,672 --> 00:48:28,151 That's how I roll. 911 00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:32,195 Baxter! 912 00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:36,022 No...! 913 00:48:37,805 --> 00:48:40,066 - Where the hell is he? - He'll be here. 914 00:48:41,806 --> 00:48:44,633 - I thought he was Mr. Dependable. - It's not like Ron. 915 00:48:44,676 --> 00:48:48,287 I'd put Brick on, but unless he's tracking a storm front, he's useless. 916 00:48:48,330 --> 00:48:50,156 - Excuse me, gentlemen. - Oh. Hello. 917 00:48:50,156 --> 00:48:53,549 Just want you to know if Ron does not show up, I am ready to go on. 918 00:48:53,592 --> 00:48:55,941 You and I have had this discussion a million times. 919 00:48:55,984 --> 00:48:57,767 There's never been a woman anchor. 920 00:48:57,767 --> 00:48:59,245 Mr. Harken, 921 00:48:59,245 --> 00:49:02,246 - this city needs its news. - Oh. 922 00:49:02,246 --> 00:49:05,378 You're gonna deprive them of that because I have breasts? 923 00:49:05,422 --> 00:49:06,943 Exquisite breasts? 924 00:49:06,943 --> 00:49:11,335 I am gonna go on, and if you want to stop me, bring it on. 925 00:49:11,379 --> 00:49:13,423 Because I am good at three things: 926 00:49:13,466 --> 00:49:15,772 fighting, screwing and reading the news. 927 00:49:15,815 --> 00:49:19,555 I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be? 928 00:49:21,774 --> 00:49:23,121 Uh-- 929 00:49:23,121 --> 00:49:25,208 Screwing? 930 00:49:28,297 --> 00:49:31,210 I will be in makeup. 931 00:49:32,645 --> 00:49:34,777 Jesus, she's terrifying! 932 00:49:34,820 --> 00:49:38,257 Fantana. 933 00:49:39,387 --> 00:49:40,734 Ron, are you okay? 934 00:49:40,734 --> 00:49:42,822 The man punted Baxter! 935 00:49:42,822 --> 00:49:44,909 Calm down. 936 00:49:44,953 --> 00:49:46,649 Breathe, Ron, breathe. 937 00:49:46,649 --> 00:49:49,128 The man that loved the motorcycle! 938 00:49:49,172 --> 00:49:51,042 What did the bad man do? 939 00:49:51,042 --> 00:49:55,173 The motorcycle on the bridge! I hit him with a burrito! 940 00:49:55,217 --> 00:49:56,521 - Ron! - He took him! 941 00:49:56,521 --> 00:49:59,870 He took him with his foot and he kicked him! 942 00:49:59,914 --> 00:50:01,348 That's what he did! 943 00:50:01,348 --> 00:50:02,698 Someone punted him? 944 00:50:02,698 --> 00:50:05,438 No, wait. Wait. Let me say something. 945 00:50:05,481 --> 00:50:10,829 Let me say something. 946 00:50:10,873 --> 00:50:13,874 What? 947 00:50:16,657 --> 00:50:19,788 I-- I don't-- I didn't understand one word you said. 948 00:50:19,832 --> 00:50:22,224 Ron, are you okay? Ron? 949 00:50:28,617 --> 00:50:30,835 Ron. Where are you? 950 00:50:30,878 --> 00:50:34,532 I'm in a glass case of emotion! 951 00:50:34,575 --> 00:50:36,663 He's gonna put Corningstone on. 952 00:50:36,663 --> 00:50:39,143 He's gonna put Corningstone on! 953 00:50:41,186 --> 00:50:43,273 I've got to do the news! 954 00:50:57,016 --> 00:50:59,104 You're not Ron. 955 00:51:00,713 --> 00:51:03,409 We're on in 10. Good luck, lady. 956 00:51:03,409 --> 00:51:05,497 Ready the announce. 957 00:51:09,367 --> 00:51:11,541 - Power. - Roll in. 958 00:51:11,585 --> 00:51:13,673 Power. Power. 959 00:51:17,847 --> 00:51:20,110 One slip, 960 00:51:20,153 --> 00:51:22,631 and you're gone. Whammy. 961 00:51:22,675 --> 00:51:25,023 And your reporter in the field, 962 00:51:25,067 --> 00:51:26,415 Brian Fantana. 963 00:51:26,415 --> 00:51:29,286 It's Channel 4 News at 6:00. 964 00:51:31,112 --> 00:51:33,678 Good evening. Ron Burgundy is off tonight. 965 00:51:35,069 --> 00:51:37,548 I'm Veronica Corningstone. 966 00:51:37,592 --> 00:51:39,114 Tonight's top story: 967 00:51:39,114 --> 00:51:41,594 - Okay, we're off and running. - Three armed men 968 00:51:41,638 --> 00:51:45,333 wearing ski masks made off with over $20,000 from an area bank 969 00:51:45,376 --> 00:51:47,463 in a daring early morning robbery. 970 00:51:52,465 --> 00:51:53,900 Hey! 971 00:51:53,900 --> 00:51:57,076 And the winner of the frog-leaping contest was Hoppy, 972 00:51:57,119 --> 00:52:00,032 with a jump of seven feet, 10 inches. 973 00:52:00,076 --> 00:52:01,945 Hmm. 974 00:52:01,945 --> 00:52:06,078 I used to date a guy named Hoppy down in Alabama. He was quite a jumper, too. 975 00:52:08,122 --> 00:52:10,340 That will do it for us at 6:00. 976 00:52:10,384 --> 00:52:12,906 From all of us here at Channel 4 News, 977 00:52:12,950 --> 00:52:15,167 I'm Veronica Corningstone, 978 00:52:15,210 --> 00:52:18,341 and thanks for stopping by, San Diego. 979 00:52:18,385 --> 00:52:19,734 All clear! 980 00:52:19,734 --> 00:52:22,517 Yes! Yes! 981 00:52:23,647 --> 00:52:25,822 Lady! Lady! 982 00:52:25,866 --> 00:52:28,736 Not bad, Miss Corningstone. Not bad at all. 983 00:52:28,779 --> 00:52:30,911 Thank you, Mr. Harken. That felt good. 984 00:52:30,954 --> 00:52:33,867 - That felt really good. - I liked your sign-off line, too. 985 00:52:33,911 --> 00:52:36,868 You did? It just came through me. It was so organic. 986 00:52:36,912 --> 00:52:39,000 Thank you. 987 00:52:40,478 --> 00:52:42,479 Oh, Ron! Ron! Ron, darling! 988 00:52:42,479 --> 00:52:45,174 I'm so glad you're all right. Oh, God. 989 00:52:45,218 --> 00:52:47,131 I have something magnificent to tell you. 990 00:52:47,131 --> 00:52:49,567 I'm here. We can do the news now. 991 00:52:49,611 --> 00:52:52,437 It's all right, everyone! We can do the news. 992 00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,309 Hold on. Why are we all standing around? Let's go! 993 00:52:55,352 --> 00:52:58,440 Ron, we did it. Veronica filled in for you. 994 00:52:58,483 --> 00:52:59,831 What? 995 00:52:59,831 --> 00:53:01,918 Sweetheart, we were so worried about you, 996 00:53:01,962 --> 00:53:04,789 and we waited as long as we could, but-- 997 00:53:04,833 --> 00:53:08,789 Darling, I did the news, and I nailed it. I nailed it. 998 00:53:08,833 --> 00:53:13,443 Wait, wait! Veronica, please, tell me this is some kind 999 00:53:13,487 --> 00:53:15,966 of sick, tasteless joke. 1000 00:53:16,010 --> 00:53:18,313 You weren't here. Why are you being this way? 1001 00:53:18,357 --> 00:53:20,359 Why can't you be proud of me 1002 00:53:20,359 --> 00:53:23,141 as a peer and as my gentleman lover? 1003 00:53:23,141 --> 00:53:24,707 Oh, Jeez. 1004 00:53:24,707 --> 00:53:27,533 I can't believe you did this to me! 1005 00:53:27,577 --> 00:53:29,578 You read my news! 1006 00:53:29,578 --> 00:53:32,622 I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. 1007 00:53:32,666 --> 00:53:34,233 I told you that. 1008 00:53:34,233 --> 00:53:36,667 I thought you were kidding! 1009 00:53:36,710 --> 00:53:38,711 I thought it was a joke! 1010 00:53:38,711 --> 00:53:41,015 I even wrote it down in my diary! 1011 00:53:41,059 --> 00:53:44,277 "Veronica had a very funny joke today." 1012 00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:46,366 I laughed at it later that night! 1013 00:53:46,366 --> 00:53:48,670 I can't believe that I cared for you. 1014 00:53:48,713 --> 00:53:50,715 Get out! Just go! 1015 00:53:50,715 --> 00:53:53,498 We are through! Through! 1016 00:53:53,541 --> 00:53:56,497 Because of your actions, you scorpion woman! 1017 00:53:56,541 --> 00:53:59,455 You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. 1018 00:53:59,499 --> 00:54:01,630 You have broken my heart. 1019 00:54:05,891 --> 00:54:07,675 From there on out, 1020 00:54:07,675 --> 00:54:10,197 things just got worse for Ron Burgundy. 1021 00:54:10,241 --> 00:54:12,328 Corningstone was a star, 1022 00:54:12,328 --> 00:54:15,200 and everything started to move awfully fast 1023 00:54:15,243 --> 00:54:17,895 - after her big break. - Where's Ian? Ian! 1024 00:54:17,895 --> 00:54:20,374 All right, I got a call from network. 1025 00:54:20,417 --> 00:54:22,810 It looks like our broadcast last night 1026 00:54:22,852 --> 00:54:25,853 received a two-point ratings boost, 1027 00:54:25,941 --> 00:54:28,333 and the decision has been passed down 1028 00:54:28,376 --> 00:54:31,160 to make Veronica our co-anchor. 1029 00:54:31,202 --> 00:54:33,247 - What? - No. No! 1030 00:54:33,247 --> 00:54:35,334 No! 1031 00:54:35,377 --> 00:54:37,117 - No! - No! 1032 00:54:37,117 --> 00:54:38,553 - No! - This is wonderful. 1033 00:54:38,553 --> 00:54:42,032 Ed, come here, you big silly man. You big silly man. 1034 00:54:42,118 --> 00:54:45,033 - We did it. - What is this, amateur hour? 1035 00:54:48,425 --> 00:54:51,078 - That's great. - Thank you. 1036 00:54:51,121 --> 00:54:53,078 - ♪ Sunshine, go away today... ♪ - Damn it! 1037 00:54:53,078 --> 00:54:57,427 ♪ I don't feel much like dancing ♪ 1038 00:54:57,471 --> 00:55:00,646 ♪ Some man's gone, he's trying to run my life ♪ 1039 00:55:00,689 --> 00:55:04,821 ♪ Don't know what he's asking ♪ 1040 00:55:06,647 --> 00:55:10,430 ♪ When he tells me I better get in line ♪ 1041 00:55:10,474 --> 00:55:14,084 ♪ I can't hear what he's sayin' ♪ 1042 00:55:14,128 --> 00:55:18,040 ♪ When I grow up I'm gonna make it mine ♪ 1043 00:55:18,084 --> 00:55:19,259 ♪ These ain't dues... ♪ 1044 00:55:19,259 --> 00:55:21,086 What Brian didn't tell you 1045 00:55:21,086 --> 00:55:24,086 was that those were not real pirates. 1046 00:55:24,130 --> 00:55:26,609 - They looked convincing, though. - Oh, yes. 1047 00:55:26,653 --> 00:55:29,218 Well, for all of us here at Channel 4 News, 1048 00:55:29,262 --> 00:55:30,654 I'm Ron Burgundy. 1049 00:55:30,654 --> 00:55:32,653 You stay classy, San Diego. 1050 00:55:32,653 --> 00:55:34,697 And thanks for stopping by. 1051 00:55:34,697 --> 00:55:36,743 But mainly stay classy. 1052 00:55:36,743 --> 00:55:39,482 - Thanks for stopping by. - Stay classy, I'm Ron Burgundy. 1053 00:55:39,524 --> 00:55:41,396 - Thanks for stopping by. - Stay classy. 1054 00:55:41,396 --> 00:55:43,962 Ron Burgundy. 1055 00:55:46,310 --> 00:55:49,397 You are a real hooker, and I'm gonna slap you in public. 1056 00:55:55,225 --> 00:55:58,443 You have man boobs. 1057 00:55:58,486 --> 00:56:00,836 You've got a dirty, whorish mouth. 1058 00:56:05,185 --> 00:56:07,576 I'm gonna punch you in the ovary. 1059 00:56:07,620 --> 00:56:09,751 - A straight shot. - Ooh, ow. 1060 00:56:09,794 --> 00:56:11,838 Right to the baby-maker. 1061 00:56:11,838 --> 00:56:14,926 Ah, jazz flute is for little fairy boys. 1062 00:56:14,970 --> 00:56:17,057 Okay, you know what? That's uncalled for. 1063 00:56:17,100 --> 00:56:19,319 I can't work with this woman. It's terrible. 1064 00:56:20,971 --> 00:56:23,929 It's ringing. 1065 00:56:25,277 --> 00:56:27,103 Veronica Corningstone. 1066 00:56:27,103 --> 00:56:30,147 Hello, Veronica, this is Mike Rithjin 1067 00:56:30,190 --> 00:56:32,495 from the network. You've just been promoted. 1068 00:56:32,539 --> 00:56:34,671 You're gonna need to move to Moscow. 1069 00:56:34,713 --> 00:56:36,497 Start cleaning up your desk. 1070 00:56:36,497 --> 00:56:38,846 See you in the morning. We'll pick you up in a van. 1071 00:56:38,888 --> 00:56:40,497 What did you say your name was? 1072 00:56:40,497 --> 00:56:42,716 Mike Ritnitjun. It's not important. 1073 00:56:42,759 --> 00:56:44,281 Start cleaning your desk, 1074 00:56:44,325 --> 00:56:46,760 and we'll pick you up in the morning. 1075 00:56:46,804 --> 00:56:49,108 Tell her she might want to get a coat. 1076 00:56:49,108 --> 00:56:51,761 Hold on. Veronica? What was it? 1077 00:56:51,805 --> 00:56:53,327 Tell her to get a coat. 1078 00:56:53,327 --> 00:56:56,502 Also, I don't know if you know Moscow. It's pretty cold. 1079 00:56:56,502 --> 00:56:58,069 You might want to buy a coat. 1080 00:56:58,069 --> 00:57:00,373 Are you and Champ having a good time, Ron? 1081 00:57:00,416 --> 00:57:01,547 Are we what? 1082 00:57:01,547 --> 00:57:03,677 I can see you, Ron. 1083 00:57:03,721 --> 00:57:05,113 What? 1084 00:57:05,113 --> 00:57:08,113 I can see you. 1085 00:57:08,157 --> 00:57:10,549 Okay. Bye-bye. 1086 00:57:10,593 --> 00:57:12,681 - What happened? - She knew it was me. 1087 00:57:16,508 --> 00:57:18,944 You're watching Channel 4 News 1088 00:57:18,944 --> 00:57:21,291 with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor 1089 00:57:21,335 --> 00:57:23,423 Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee. 1090 00:57:24,856 --> 00:57:27,728 Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. 1091 00:57:27,771 --> 00:57:29,858 Tits McGee is on vacation. 1092 00:57:33,164 --> 00:57:35,208 And I'm Tits-- I'm Ron Burgundy. 1093 00:57:38,818 --> 00:57:41,340 - Veronica Corningstone. - This is your doctor. 1094 00:57:41,340 --> 00:57:44,514 I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what. 1095 00:57:44,558 --> 00:57:47,820 You got knocked up. You should probably get out of news. 1096 00:57:47,864 --> 00:57:50,343 - Who is this? - This is Dr. Chim. 1097 00:57:50,386 --> 00:57:53,822 - Dr. Chim Richalds. - Ron, is this you? 1098 00:57:53,865 --> 00:57:56,126 I'm a professional doctor. 1099 00:57:56,170 --> 00:57:58,691 You saw me. You don't remember. 1100 00:57:58,736 --> 00:58:01,737 We-- you should move. 1101 00:58:01,780 --> 00:58:03,999 - Get out of the business. - This is pathetic. 1102 00:58:03,999 --> 00:58:06,129 You're pathetic. 1103 00:58:06,172 --> 00:58:07,826 What'd she say? 1104 00:58:07,826 --> 00:58:10,262 She-- I don't-- I think she bought it. 1105 00:58:10,305 --> 00:58:12,741 She's looking this way. 1106 00:58:12,783 --> 00:58:15,914 - Oh, uh-oh. Whoa! - Here she comes. 1107 00:58:20,089 --> 00:58:22,568 I'll tell you what, it's just not working. 1108 00:58:22,612 --> 00:58:25,004 She's making us look like a bunch of fools. 1109 00:58:25,047 --> 00:58:28,091 Ellen, where's the party? 1110 00:58:29,180 --> 00:58:31,876 Children, grow up. 1111 00:58:32,962 --> 00:58:34,962 Son of a bee sting. 1112 00:58:34,962 --> 00:58:37,094 She's turning the entire office against us. 1113 00:58:37,137 --> 00:58:39,747 - This is grim. Real grim. - What are we gonna do? 1114 00:58:39,791 --> 00:58:42,051 There's only one thing a man can do 1115 00:58:42,051 --> 00:58:46,010 when he's suffering from a spiritual and existential funk. 1116 00:58:46,054 --> 00:58:48,272 Go to the zoo, flip off the monkeys? 1117 00:58:48,314 --> 00:58:50,924 No. Buy new suits. 1118 00:58:50,968 --> 00:58:52,751 Yea! 1119 00:58:52,751 --> 00:58:54,881 ♪ That girl ♪ 1120 00:58:57,143 --> 00:58:59,622 ♪ I'm gonna make her mine if it takes all night ♪ 1121 00:58:59,665 --> 00:59:01,231 ♪ Can you dig it? Can you dig it? ♪ 1122 00:59:01,231 --> 00:59:02,927 ♪ Can you dig it? Can you dig it? ♪ 1123 00:59:02,927 --> 00:59:03,015 Where's the suit store? We've been walking for 45 minutes. 1124 00:59:03,015 --> 00:59:06,057 Where's the suit store? We've been walking for 45 minutes. 1125 00:59:06,101 --> 00:59:08,537 Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut. 1126 00:59:08,581 --> 00:59:09,886 Fantastic. 1127 00:59:09,886 --> 00:59:12,364 - Is it a shortcut or not? - Okay. 1128 00:59:13,495 --> 00:59:15,582 Jeez. 1129 00:59:18,235 --> 00:59:20,061 Hey. 1130 00:59:20,104 --> 00:59:23,714 Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. 1131 00:59:26,150 --> 00:59:28,847 Burgundy and the ladies went out for a stroll, huh? 1132 00:59:30,325 --> 00:59:33,327 You boys walkin' around and talkin' things through? 1133 00:59:33,327 --> 00:59:35,414 Keep a tight perimeter. 1134 00:59:37,197 --> 00:59:39,284 Yes, sirree. 1135 00:59:40,110 --> 00:59:42,198 Well, well, well. 1136 00:59:43,155 --> 00:59:45,112 Ron Burgundy 1137 00:59:45,112 --> 00:59:47,112 and the Channel 4 News Team. 1138 00:59:47,112 --> 00:59:49,113 Where's your mommy? 1139 00:59:49,113 --> 00:59:51,592 You back off, Evening News Team. 1140 00:59:56,375 --> 00:59:58,593 You know, I understand that, uh, 1141 00:59:58,637 --> 01:00:01,116 they had to bring a female in. 1142 01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:03,856 Change your diapers. 1143 01:00:03,856 --> 01:00:06,379 Wipe the dribble away from your bubblin' lips. 1144 01:00:08,075 --> 01:00:09,989 Rub Vaseline all over your heinie 1145 01:00:09,989 --> 01:00:13,294 and tell you that it's special and different from everyone else's. 1146 01:00:15,207 --> 01:00:17,425 He said "heinie"! 1147 01:00:17,469 --> 01:00:19,164 Brick, get back over here! 1148 01:00:19,164 --> 01:00:20,642 Heinie! 1149 01:00:20,642 --> 01:00:22,730 Does she tuck you in, Ronnie? 1150 01:00:23,774 --> 01:00:26,166 Give you a little kiss on your forehead? 1151 01:00:26,166 --> 01:00:28,079 Tell you everything's gonna be okay? 1152 01:00:28,079 --> 01:00:30,340 I've had enough of you, Mantooth. 1153 01:00:30,340 --> 01:00:33,386 This is gonna end right here, right now. 1154 01:00:33,430 --> 01:00:35,255 Let's dance, dickweed. 1155 01:00:35,255 --> 01:00:37,342 You wanna dance, Ronnie? 1156 01:00:40,692 --> 01:00:42,780 I wanna polka. 1157 01:00:51,042 --> 01:00:53,521 Come get a taste. 1158 01:00:57,261 --> 01:00:59,306 Brick, where'd you get a hand grenade? 1159 01:00:59,306 --> 01:01:01,392 I don't know. 1160 01:01:02,306 --> 01:01:05,351 All right. Let's do this! 1161 01:01:06,568 --> 01:01:08,655 Hey! 1162 01:01:11,352 --> 01:01:13,353 If you're gonna have a fight, 1163 01:01:13,353 --> 01:01:15,745 then don't forget Channel 2 News with me, 1164 01:01:15,789 --> 01:01:18,048 lead anchor Frank Vitchard. 1165 01:01:18,092 --> 01:01:21,354 You dirtbags have been in third place for five years. 1166 01:01:21,354 --> 01:01:25,225 Yeah? Well, you're about to be in dead place. 1167 01:01:30,922 --> 01:01:34,967 Not so fast, you ingrates! 1168 01:01:35,011 --> 01:01:38,098 Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive 1169 01:01:38,142 --> 01:01:39,794 to kick some ass. 1170 01:01:39,794 --> 01:01:42,012 No commercials! No mercy! 1171 01:01:55,233 --> 01:01:57,277 Cómo están, pinches! 1172 01:01:57,277 --> 01:01:59,364 Spanish Language News is here. 1173 01:01:59,408 --> 01:02:00,800 Tonight's top story: 1174 01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:04,236 The sewers run red with Burgundy's blood. 1175 01:02:04,236 --> 01:02:06,323 Hyah! Hyah! 1176 01:02:12,672 --> 01:02:16,021 Well looks like we got ourselves a bilingual bloodfest. 1177 01:02:22,849 --> 01:02:26,590 Now, before we do this, let's go over the ground rules. 1178 01:02:28,894 --> 01:02:31,112 Rule number one: 1179 01:02:31,156 --> 01:02:33,853 No touching of the hair or face. 1180 01:02:34,896 --> 01:02:36,114 Of course. 1181 01:02:36,114 --> 01:02:38,288 And that's it! 1182 01:02:38,332 --> 01:02:40,593 Now let's do this! 1183 01:02:48,725 --> 01:02:51,247 Begin! 1184 01:03:28,997 --> 01:03:31,389 I'm gonna straight-up murder your ass! 1185 01:03:31,433 --> 01:03:33,520 - Blade! - Here you go, mate! 1186 01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:35,608 Ahh! God! 1187 01:03:35,651 --> 01:03:38,217 Oh! I did not see that coming! 1188 01:03:41,913 --> 01:03:44,001 Oh! Aaah! 1189 01:03:44,001 --> 01:03:47,219 - Now I'll be number one. - No, you won't! 1190 01:03:49,351 --> 01:03:52,221 Policía! 1191 01:04:05,615 --> 01:04:08,617 Boy, that escalated quickly. 1192 01:04:08,659 --> 01:04:11,616 I mean, that really got out of hand fast. 1193 01:04:11,660 --> 01:04:14,270 - It jumped up a notch. - It did, didn't it? 1194 01:04:14,314 --> 01:04:16,705 Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart. 1195 01:04:16,749 --> 01:04:20,314 I saw that. Brick killed a guy. 1196 01:04:20,358 --> 01:04:22,532 - Did you throw a trident? - Yeah. 1197 01:04:22,532 --> 01:04:25,926 There were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident. 1198 01:04:25,968 --> 01:04:28,274 I've been meaning to talk to you about that. 1199 01:04:28,317 --> 01:04:31,145 Find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. 1200 01:04:31,187 --> 01:04:35,362 Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder. 1201 01:04:35,406 --> 01:04:36,885 I'm proud of you fellas. 1202 01:04:36,885 --> 01:04:38,712 You kept your head on a swivel. 1203 01:04:38,712 --> 01:04:41,668 That's what you gotta do when you're in a vicious cockfight. 1204 01:04:41,712 --> 01:04:44,495 Can you believe Mantooth and the Channel 9 Evening News Team? 1205 01:04:44,538 --> 01:04:46,973 "Where's your mommy? Someone's gotta change your diapers." 1206 01:04:47,017 --> 01:04:49,757 This Corningstone business is really hurting our rep. 1207 01:04:49,757 --> 01:04:51,758 I know exactly what you mean, Brian. 1208 01:04:51,758 --> 01:04:54,238 Every newsman in this city's laughing at us. 1209 01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:58,065 - And I don't like it. - I don't like the put-downs. 1210 01:04:58,108 --> 01:04:59,891 We're gonna do something about it. 1211 01:04:59,891 --> 01:05:02,457 It is time to put an end to this! 1212 01:05:02,500 --> 01:05:05,849 Last time I looked, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name? 1213 01:05:05,892 --> 01:05:07,458 - Brian Fantana. - Champ Kind. 1214 01:05:07,458 --> 01:05:09,155 - Brian Fantana. - No, you're Brick. 1215 01:05:09,155 --> 01:05:10,371 - Brian. - I'm Brian. 1216 01:05:10,371 --> 01:05:11,938 Veronica. 1217 01:05:11,938 --> 01:05:15,286 And I've shown you, old man! 1218 01:05:15,329 --> 01:05:18,505 Garth, I need to look at these tapes for a potential lead. 1219 01:05:18,548 --> 01:05:20,331 Ron's using the machine 1220 01:05:20,331 --> 01:05:23,070 to play his local Emmy acceptance speech from last year. 1221 01:05:23,114 --> 01:05:24,983 I tried to ask her out on a date. 1222 01:05:24,983 --> 01:05:28,724 Turn the music off! I'm still talking! 1223 01:05:28,724 --> 01:05:31,247 - This is ridiculous! - I don't remember doing it. 1224 01:05:31,334 --> 01:05:33,552 - Excuse me. - What are you doing? 1225 01:05:33,596 --> 01:05:36,901 I need this machine so I can watch a tape for a story. 1226 01:05:36,943 --> 01:05:39,030 I'm using the tape. 1227 01:05:39,030 --> 01:05:41,119 I'm showing Jeffrey my Emmy tape. 1228 01:05:41,119 --> 01:05:42,816 We are watching history. 1229 01:05:42,816 --> 01:05:45,337 Mr. Burgundy, I'm a professional, 1230 01:05:45,381 --> 01:05:48,947 and I would like to be able to do my job. 1231 01:05:48,991 --> 01:05:51,121 Big deal! I am very professional! 1232 01:05:51,164 --> 01:05:53,731 Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby. 1233 01:05:53,773 --> 01:05:57,471 I'm not a baby, I am a man. I am an anchorman! 1234 01:05:57,514 --> 01:06:00,385 You are not a man. You are a big fat joke! 1235 01:06:00,429 --> 01:06:02,386 I'm a man who discovered the wheel 1236 01:06:02,386 --> 01:06:05,647 and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. 1237 01:06:05,691 --> 01:06:07,475 That's what kind of man I am. 1238 01:06:07,475 --> 01:06:10,170 You're just a woman with a small brain. 1239 01:06:10,170 --> 01:06:14,042 With a brain a third the size of us. It's science. 1240 01:06:14,084 --> 01:06:16,999 I will have you know that I have more talent 1241 01:06:16,999 --> 01:06:19,434 and more intelligence in my little finger 1242 01:06:19,477 --> 01:06:21,956 than you do in your entire body, sir! 1243 01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:24,480 You are a smelly pirate hooker! 1244 01:06:24,522 --> 01:06:26,783 You look like a blueberry. 1245 01:06:26,827 --> 01:06:29,914 Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island? 1246 01:06:29,958 --> 01:06:33,220 Well, you have bad hair. 1247 01:06:35,524 --> 01:06:37,569 What did you say? 1248 01:06:37,569 --> 01:06:39,352 I said 1249 01:06:39,352 --> 01:06:41,092 your hair 1250 01:06:41,092 --> 01:06:43,874 looks stupid. 1251 01:06:50,746 --> 01:06:54,051 - Let 'em work it out! - It's between the two of them! 1252 01:07:06,533 --> 01:07:09,056 They're just talking. Just talking. 1253 01:07:09,098 --> 01:07:11,578 - I hate you! - I hate you more! 1254 01:07:23,319 --> 01:07:24,884 Ow! 1255 01:07:24,884 --> 01:07:27,451 Shut up! Shut up! 1256 01:07:31,496 --> 01:07:32,931 All right, stop! 1257 01:07:32,931 --> 01:07:34,931 Stop what you're doing right now! 1258 01:07:34,931 --> 01:07:37,976 I will not have my newsroom be divided. 1259 01:07:39,498 --> 01:07:41,847 Ah! Knights of Columbus, that hurts! 1260 01:07:44,064 --> 01:07:46,152 I was like, "Who is that guy?" 1261 01:07:49,848 --> 01:07:52,849 I just can't believe what Ron did to you. 1262 01:07:52,893 --> 01:07:55,328 It is so awful. 1263 01:07:55,328 --> 01:07:57,373 Yes. 1264 01:07:57,373 --> 01:08:00,590 Have you ever thought about fighting fire 1265 01:08:00,590 --> 01:08:02,982 with fire? 1266 01:08:04,156 --> 01:08:06,027 What do you mean? 1267 01:08:06,027 --> 01:08:10,114 I have some information that you can choose to use or not use. 1268 01:08:10,157 --> 01:08:11,593 Up to you. 1269 01:08:11,637 --> 01:08:13,811 Ron Burgundy 1270 01:08:13,855 --> 01:08:17,334 will read anything that is put on that Teleprompter. 1271 01:08:17,377 --> 01:08:19,378 And when I say anything, 1272 01:08:19,378 --> 01:08:21,814 I mean an-y-thing. 1273 01:08:30,599 --> 01:08:31,902 Arnold, cue one. 1274 01:08:31,902 --> 01:08:33,991 After the FotoMat was destroyed, 1275 01:08:33,991 --> 01:08:36,773 the bear scampered back into the woods. 1276 01:08:36,817 --> 01:08:39,687 Apparently he wasn't too happy with his color prints. 1277 01:08:39,731 --> 01:08:41,819 Oh. 1278 01:08:42,689 --> 01:08:44,688 From the entire Channel 4 News Team, 1279 01:08:44,688 --> 01:08:46,471 I'm Veronica Corningstone. 1280 01:08:46,471 --> 01:08:47,864 And I'm Ron Burgundy. 1281 01:08:47,864 --> 01:08:50,430 Go fuck yourself, San Diego. 1282 01:08:56,474 --> 01:08:58,954 What in the name-- 1283 01:08:58,997 --> 01:09:00,997 No! 1284 01:09:00,997 --> 01:09:03,259 Nobody talks about my city that way! 1285 01:09:03,303 --> 01:09:05,390 Ron Burgundy's ass is grass! 1286 01:09:08,129 --> 01:09:11,045 Nice work, everyone. Sharp broadcast. 1287 01:09:11,087 --> 01:09:13,478 Really good. Everyone on the floor as well. 1288 01:09:13,522 --> 01:09:15,610 Really a lot of hustle. I liked it. 1289 01:09:16,568 --> 01:09:18,786 Dump out! Dump out! 1290 01:09:18,829 --> 01:09:20,916 Hello, Edward. 1291 01:09:20,959 --> 01:09:23,786 - Ron, I've got to fire you. - I've got to fire you. 1292 01:09:23,830 --> 01:09:25,874 Bing, bong, bong. You're fired, Ed. 1293 01:09:25,874 --> 01:09:28,919 Do you even know what you just said? 1294 01:09:28,961 --> 01:09:32,180 Great Odin's raven! 1295 01:09:32,223 --> 01:09:34,267 Are you happy, Ron? 1296 01:09:34,267 --> 01:09:37,181 Veronica. She put that in the Teleprompter. 1297 01:09:37,225 --> 01:09:41,530 You're probably right, but this is bad, Ron. Real bad. 1298 01:09:41,530 --> 01:09:43,618 My hands are tied. I-- 1299 01:09:43,618 --> 01:09:45,401 I gotta fire you. 1300 01:09:45,401 --> 01:09:47,880 Ed, let's hold on. Let's count to 10. 1301 01:09:47,923 --> 01:09:51,662 That's a rash decision. Is this about something else? 1302 01:09:51,706 --> 01:09:56,055 Ed, there's 300 very angry San Diego-ites. 1303 01:09:56,100 --> 01:09:58,578 San Diego-ins. San Diego-uns. 1304 01:09:58,621 --> 01:10:00,926 - San Dieg-ons. - San Diegans. 1305 01:10:00,970 --> 01:10:03,188 San Diegans out in front of the station. 1306 01:10:03,232 --> 01:10:05,016 They want Ron's blood. 1307 01:10:05,016 --> 01:10:06,449 They want to hurt you. 1308 01:10:06,449 --> 01:10:09,755 Why did you say that? Why? 1309 01:10:09,755 --> 01:10:12,278 Why, Ron? Why? 1310 01:10:12,321 --> 01:10:14,670 You're my hero, Ron. 1311 01:10:14,714 --> 01:10:16,062 Garth, I-- 1312 01:10:16,062 --> 01:10:20,062 And you come out with stink like that poop! 1313 01:10:20,106 --> 01:10:24,933 You poop mouth! Get all the poop out of your mouth! 1314 01:10:24,933 --> 01:10:28,847 If I were to give you money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain? 1315 01:10:28,891 --> 01:10:32,065 I hate you, Ron Burgundy! I hate you! 1316 01:10:37,850 --> 01:10:39,937 Ron? Ron! 1317 01:10:40,024 --> 01:10:43,069 I can't believe you did this to me! Are you happy? 1318 01:10:43,590 --> 01:10:44,938 No, Ron, I'm not! 1319 01:10:44,938 --> 01:10:47,112 I have nothing left! Nothing! 1320 01:10:47,156 --> 01:10:49,331 I've been reduced to rubble! 1321 01:10:50,767 --> 01:10:53,071 Let's go. These people are about to pull you apart. 1322 01:10:55,376 --> 01:10:58,681 No! No! 1323 01:11:11,206 --> 01:11:13,598 Mr. Burgundy, you should be ashamed of yourself. 1324 01:11:13,642 --> 01:11:16,555 - Please, I-- - You're an awful man! 1325 01:11:16,599 --> 01:11:20,426 You are truly a disappointment to us all, Mr. Burgundy! 1326 01:11:22,383 --> 01:11:24,210 Bob Dylan once wrote, 1327 01:11:24,253 --> 01:11:26,253 "The times, they are a-changin'." 1328 01:11:26,298 --> 01:11:28,689 Ron Burgundy had never heard that song. 1329 01:11:28,732 --> 01:11:32,777 So when he fell, he fell hard. 1330 01:11:36,126 --> 01:11:40,258 It's Channel 4 News at 6:00! 1331 01:11:40,301 --> 01:11:41,910 Good evening, San Diego. 1332 01:11:41,910 --> 01:11:45,520 I'm lead anchor Veronica Corningstone. 1333 01:11:45,563 --> 01:11:48,650 Tonight's top story: an ultrasound of Ling Wong, 1334 01:11:48,693 --> 01:11:50,825 the most famous panda in the world, 1335 01:11:50,868 --> 01:11:53,695 shows that her baby is doing quite well. 1336 01:11:53,739 --> 01:11:56,827 No! 1337 01:12:02,002 --> 01:12:04,177 Ron Burgundy, stay classy. 1338 01:12:04,219 --> 01:12:06,525 Hello, this is Ron. 1339 01:12:06,569 --> 01:12:07,872 Hello. 1340 01:12:07,872 --> 01:12:10,656 Who's there? I'm talking. Hello. 1341 01:12:10,700 --> 01:12:12,354 Who is this? 1342 01:12:12,354 --> 01:12:15,005 Baxter, is that you? 1343 01:12:15,049 --> 01:12:16,440 Baxter! 1344 01:12:16,440 --> 01:12:18,528 Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee. 1345 01:12:19,529 --> 01:12:21,572 Is this Wilt Chamberlain? 1346 01:12:21,572 --> 01:12:24,660 Have the courage to say something. Hello! 1347 01:12:26,964 --> 01:12:29,053 Hello! 1348 01:12:34,532 --> 01:12:37,184 Hey, you watch yourself, mister. 1349 01:12:37,228 --> 01:12:39,925 Hey, lady in the red hat. Yeah. 1350 01:12:39,968 --> 01:12:42,056 You smell. 1351 01:12:44,449 --> 01:12:47,796 Guys. Guys, it's me, Ron. 1352 01:12:47,841 --> 01:12:49,362 Fellas! 1353 01:12:49,362 --> 01:12:51,841 Harken said he'd fire us if we talked to you. 1354 01:12:51,885 --> 01:12:55,277 - What? - I'm sorry. 1355 01:12:55,321 --> 01:12:57,713 I-- Brian! 1356 01:12:57,713 --> 01:12:59,843 - It's Ronnie! - Ron! 1357 01:12:59,887 --> 01:13:01,975 - Champ! - Ron! 1358 01:13:02,018 --> 01:13:04,062 Champ, come on. Come on! 1359 01:13:04,062 --> 01:13:05,454 Go, Brick. 1360 01:13:05,454 --> 01:13:07,627 My sweet Brick. 1361 01:13:07,671 --> 01:13:10,715 Brick, come hug me. I know you want to. 1362 01:13:12,326 --> 01:13:15,587 I am completely miserable, San Diego! 1363 01:13:18,935 --> 01:13:21,023 It's so damn hot! 1364 01:13:23,807 --> 01:13:25,894 Milk was a bad choice! 1365 01:13:33,157 --> 01:13:35,157 Yes, yes. Chris, listen to me. 1366 01:13:35,157 --> 01:13:38,420 Put down the gun and let the marching band go. 1367 01:13:38,462 --> 01:13:40,942 We'll play it off as a prank. 1368 01:13:40,942 --> 01:13:43,768 We'll straighten it out later. I'm getting another call. 1369 01:13:43,768 --> 01:13:45,768 Ed Harken. 1370 01:13:45,768 --> 01:13:47,900 What? Oh, my God! 1371 01:13:47,944 --> 01:13:52,597 Listen, everybody, Ling Wong the panda is giving birth! 1372 01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:55,598 Get Corningstone over there right away! 1373 01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:57,686 The network is picking up the feed. 1374 01:13:57,686 --> 01:14:00,685 I want a shot of that panda being born! 1375 01:14:07,384 --> 01:14:09,906 This is Ted Nightingale, Channel 6 News Los Angeles, 1376 01:14:09,948 --> 01:14:11,601 reporting from the San Diego Zoo. 1377 01:14:11,601 --> 01:14:13,298 And this is the moment 1378 01:14:13,298 --> 01:14:15,907 the entire world has been waiting for. 1379 01:14:15,950 --> 01:14:19,169 I can only speculate as to the sex of the panda, 1380 01:14:19,169 --> 01:14:22,256 but if I had to guess, I'd say female. 1381 01:14:22,299 --> 01:14:24,561 - Excuse me. Press. - Hey, lady, watch it. 1382 01:14:24,604 --> 01:14:27,127 Excuse me, I'm press. Thank you. What do you got? 1383 01:14:27,171 --> 01:14:29,433 Nothing. All I can see is a blue curtain. 1384 01:14:29,475 --> 01:14:31,562 Oh, damn it. 1385 01:14:31,562 --> 01:14:36,043 Go over there and see if you can get a shot. I'll go this way. 1386 01:14:36,086 --> 01:14:39,131 Hey, lady, why don't you go fetch me a sandwich? 1387 01:14:39,173 --> 01:14:41,740 Okay, I'll go get your sandwich. 1388 01:14:41,783 --> 01:14:44,959 Then I'll show you the ratings where you're number two to a woman. 1389 01:14:45,002 --> 01:14:47,829 Ouch. Don't lose any more hair over it. 1390 01:14:49,046 --> 01:14:51,177 - Whatever. - We're live, Mr. Mantooth. 1391 01:14:53,048 --> 01:14:55,134 Good afternoon, San Diego. 1392 01:14:55,178 --> 01:14:57,831 We're here today to celebrate the birth of a panda. 1393 01:14:57,831 --> 01:15:00,615 ♪ Sky rockets in flight ♪ 1394 01:15:01,702 --> 01:15:06,007 ♪ Afternoon delight ♪ 1395 01:15:06,051 --> 01:15:08,529 ♪ Af-- ♪ 1396 01:15:08,529 --> 01:15:11,792 ♪ I make fart noises with my mouth ♪ 1397 01:15:13,140 --> 01:15:15,358 - ♪ And I like to cut-- ♪ - Hey, nut job! 1398 01:15:15,401 --> 01:15:17,054 Quit the singin'! 1399 01:15:17,054 --> 01:15:19,141 Creeping out all the regulars. 1400 01:15:19,141 --> 01:15:23,273 I'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song! 1401 01:15:23,316 --> 01:15:26,361 Look, drunkie, you been coming in here every day, 1402 01:15:26,361 --> 01:15:28,492 stinking up the joint with your craziness. 1403 01:15:28,535 --> 01:15:30,579 Now, what the hell is wrong with you? 1404 01:15:30,579 --> 01:15:32,579 I got no heart! 1405 01:15:32,579 --> 01:15:34,884 Because a she-devil stole it! 1406 01:15:34,927 --> 01:15:37,537 You know what the worst part about it is? 1407 01:15:39,581 --> 01:15:41,668 She's better than me! 1408 01:15:43,192 --> 01:15:45,278 She's better than me. 1409 01:15:46,408 --> 01:15:48,496 You know, times are changing. 1410 01:15:49,671 --> 01:15:51,932 Ladies can do stuff now. 1411 01:15:51,976 --> 01:15:54,803 You're gonna have to learn how to deal with that. 1412 01:15:54,846 --> 01:15:57,325 What? Were you saying something? 1413 01:15:57,369 --> 01:15:59,675 Look, I don't speak Spanish. 1414 01:15:59,717 --> 01:16:01,804 Ah. 1415 01:16:11,024 --> 01:16:12,329 Scotty. 1416 01:16:12,329 --> 01:16:14,938 Scotty, I have the shot. 1417 01:16:14,981 --> 01:16:17,027 Scotty. Scotty! 1418 01:16:17,027 --> 01:16:19,027 Hey, uh, 1419 01:16:19,027 --> 01:16:21,983 that is some fantastic shot you got there. 1420 01:16:22,027 --> 01:16:25,419 The kind of shot that gets you to the top of network news. 1421 01:16:25,419 --> 01:16:28,855 - Oh, well, we hope. - We at public television, 1422 01:16:28,899 --> 01:16:33,335 we're really down with the woman's lib thing. 1423 01:16:33,379 --> 01:16:35,683 That is so refreshing to me. 1424 01:16:35,727 --> 01:16:38,205 Because the struggle I've-- 1425 01:16:41,467 --> 01:16:44,773 Howie, we have the shot. 1426 01:16:44,773 --> 01:16:46,773 Up a little. Up, up. 1427 01:16:46,816 --> 01:16:48,903 Oh. You son of a bitch! 1428 01:16:48,947 --> 01:16:50,948 Shh! 1429 01:16:50,948 --> 01:16:53,078 Don't want to wake up your friends. 1430 01:17:04,039 --> 01:17:05,342 Help! 1431 01:17:05,342 --> 01:17:07,952 - Simply vanished. - How do you lose your lead anchor? 1432 01:17:07,995 --> 01:17:10,474 - I can't find Corningstone. - Where the hell is she? 1433 01:17:10,517 --> 01:17:12,519 - No one's seen her. - I can't believe this. 1434 01:17:12,519 --> 01:17:16,041 Every news outlet in the world is looking for coverage on this. 1435 01:17:16,085 --> 01:17:19,130 I've got no damn lead anchor! 1436 01:17:19,172 --> 01:17:21,608 Damn it! Get me a phone. 1437 01:17:21,652 --> 01:17:24,001 I can't believe I'm about to do this. 1438 01:17:26,870 --> 01:17:28,697 Rocky's, bar, grill, fine dining. 1439 01:17:28,697 --> 01:17:31,654 - Is there an anchorman there? - Hold on. 1440 01:17:31,697 --> 01:17:34,481 This is killing me. I'd rather slit my throat. 1441 01:17:34,524 --> 01:17:37,090 - Hello? - Hello? 1442 01:17:37,134 --> 01:17:39,134 - Is this Ron? - Who is this? 1443 01:17:39,134 --> 01:17:41,135 - It's me. Ed. - Who? 1444 01:17:41,135 --> 01:17:43,657 - Ed Harken. - I don't know a Ned. 1445 01:17:43,701 --> 01:17:45,962 - Ed Harken! - Ed! 1446 01:17:46,006 --> 01:17:48,267 - Ed, hello. - Listen, Ron. 1447 01:17:48,310 --> 01:17:52,137 Corningstone disappeared in the midst of the biggest story of the year. 1448 01:17:52,181 --> 01:17:54,269 We need you down here right away. 1449 01:17:54,269 --> 01:17:55,965 Wait, Ed. 1450 01:17:55,965 --> 01:17:59,139 Does this mean you're asking me to report the news again? 1451 01:18:00,879 --> 01:18:02,879 - Yes. - Ed! 1452 01:18:02,879 --> 01:18:05,010 That's wonderful! Thank you! 1453 01:18:05,054 --> 01:18:07,403 Ed, hold on. I want to say a few words. 1454 01:18:07,446 --> 01:18:10,752 - You have always been a good friend! - Right. 1455 01:18:10,795 --> 01:18:12,882 - Always! - Right. 1456 01:18:14,883 --> 01:18:17,361 Get down here as quickly as you can. 1457 01:18:17,405 --> 01:18:19,449 Ed, I'll be down there. 1458 01:18:20,537 --> 01:18:23,189 And I'm going to look good. 1459 01:18:32,888 --> 01:18:36,323 Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy. 1460 01:18:36,366 --> 01:18:38,759 Damn! That dude cleans up good! 1461 01:18:38,759 --> 01:18:42,935 If I'm gonna do this, I'll need my news team at my side. 1462 01:18:50,675 --> 01:18:52,719 News team! 1463 01:18:52,719 --> 01:18:55,285 Assemble! 1464 01:19:02,417 --> 01:19:05,939 News team, assemble! 1465 01:19:07,854 --> 01:19:09,768 Hey, Ron. 1466 01:19:09,768 --> 01:19:11,420 What's up? 1467 01:19:11,420 --> 01:19:12,942 Oh. 1468 01:19:12,942 --> 01:19:15,203 Hi. Didn't see you there. 1469 01:19:15,246 --> 01:19:18,596 We've been here literally the entire time you have. 1470 01:19:18,639 --> 01:19:21,553 I'm a little embarrassed. 1471 01:19:21,597 --> 01:19:23,685 Look. 1472 01:19:23,728 --> 01:19:27,990 I just got the call from Harken. He wants me back. 1473 01:19:28,033 --> 01:19:30,338 But I can't do this without my news team. 1474 01:19:30,382 --> 01:19:32,035 I don't know, Ron. 1475 01:19:32,035 --> 01:19:34,774 That was half a lifetime ago. We're different people now. 1476 01:19:34,818 --> 01:19:36,817 When you left, the hurt was so deep. 1477 01:19:36,817 --> 01:19:39,383 I don't know if I can go through that again. 1478 01:19:39,427 --> 01:19:41,428 Think about what you're asking. 1479 01:19:41,428 --> 01:19:43,428 Man. 1480 01:19:43,428 --> 01:19:45,516 Gentlemen, 1481 01:19:46,472 --> 01:19:48,821 there was a time 1482 01:19:48,821 --> 01:19:51,822 when you called me your lead anchor. 1483 01:19:54,997 --> 01:19:57,216 Will you follow me again? 1484 01:19:59,172 --> 01:20:01,302 I'm gettin' too old for this shit. 1485 01:20:01,346 --> 01:20:03,347 To the news van! 1486 01:20:03,347 --> 01:20:06,086 - To the news van! - Okay! 1487 01:20:15,698 --> 01:20:18,090 Ahh! 1488 01:20:18,133 --> 01:20:20,264 Well, I'll be. Ron Burgundy. 1489 01:20:20,307 --> 01:20:22,003 He's back! 1490 01:20:22,003 --> 01:20:25,004 Gentlemen, let's try to get in a good position for the story. 1491 01:20:25,004 --> 01:20:27,005 - How does the hair look? - Magnificent. 1492 01:20:27,005 --> 01:20:29,136 You have hair like an angel. 1493 01:20:29,178 --> 01:20:32,050 Oh, whoa, whoa. Network talent scout. 1494 01:20:32,094 --> 01:20:35,530 - This is a hot one. - I'm actually nervous. 1495 01:20:35,572 --> 01:20:37,659 Let's go get 'em. 1496 01:20:37,703 --> 01:20:39,616 Wait! Did you just hear something? 1497 01:20:39,616 --> 01:20:42,357 Help. 1498 01:20:42,401 --> 01:20:44,879 - Ron, help! - Veronica! 1499 01:20:44,879 --> 01:20:47,097 - Are you okay? - Shh! 1500 01:20:47,097 --> 01:20:48,793 How did you get down there? 1501 01:20:48,793 --> 01:20:50,880 Just go get someone. Please. 1502 01:20:50,880 --> 01:20:53,229 Hold on. Hold on! 1503 01:20:56,404 --> 01:20:58,231 We've got to do something. 1504 01:20:58,231 --> 01:21:00,710 Whoa, Ron, I don't want to sound cruel, but-- 1505 01:21:00,710 --> 01:21:03,057 There's a network talent scout over there. 1506 01:21:03,101 --> 01:21:05,189 This is a tough decision. 1507 01:21:05,233 --> 01:21:07,841 So much to think about. 1508 01:21:07,885 --> 01:21:10,408 Basically the biggest story of my career, 1509 01:21:10,408 --> 01:21:14,235 launching me to a level I've never known before, 1510 01:21:14,235 --> 01:21:15,713 or saving the woman 1511 01:21:15,713 --> 01:21:19,063 I used to have familiar relations with. 1512 01:21:19,063 --> 01:21:21,758 This is hard! 1513 01:21:21,801 --> 01:21:24,411 I am in a pickle! 1514 01:21:24,455 --> 01:21:26,847 Ron, I know it sounds harsh, 1515 01:21:26,847 --> 01:21:29,369 but God does not want her to live. 1516 01:21:29,412 --> 01:21:31,499 No. Hold on. 1517 01:21:32,806 --> 01:21:34,893 It's clear now. 1518 01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,980 We go into the bear pit. 1519 01:21:40,286 --> 01:21:42,373 Ron, don't. 1520 01:21:44,373 --> 01:21:46,460 Oh! 1521 01:21:48,592 --> 01:21:51,549 I immediately regret this decision. 1522 01:21:51,592 --> 01:21:54,115 What are you doing? Why didn't you get help? 1523 01:21:54,158 --> 01:21:56,550 These bears are massive! 1524 01:21:56,594 --> 01:21:59,246 They looked a lot smaller from up there. 1525 01:21:59,290 --> 01:22:02,118 Fan out. Let's go find Harken. 1526 01:22:02,161 --> 01:22:04,770 Stay calm. 1527 01:22:06,815 --> 01:22:10,162 It's all right. I think it's all right, my sweet chinchilla. 1528 01:22:10,206 --> 01:22:12,293 - Oh, Ron. - Yes, yes. 1529 01:22:12,337 --> 01:22:14,469 In case we die here today, 1530 01:22:14,511 --> 01:22:17,382 there's something that you should know. 1531 01:22:17,424 --> 01:22:20,426 That dirty trick with the Teleprompter, it wasn't-- 1532 01:22:20,470 --> 01:22:23,906 Sweet Eli Whitney's nose! It wasn't you, was it? 1533 01:22:23,950 --> 01:22:26,341 It was Wes Mantooth. 1534 01:22:26,385 --> 01:22:29,298 - Oh, I should have known. - No, no. 1535 01:22:29,342 --> 01:22:31,690 - No, I did it. - You bitch! 1536 01:22:31,734 --> 01:22:34,821 Shh! 1537 01:22:35,996 --> 01:22:38,300 You woke the bears. Why did you do that? 1538 01:22:41,388 --> 01:22:44,999 There's somebody in the bear pit! 1539 01:22:47,521 --> 01:22:50,434 It took my impending death 1540 01:22:50,477 --> 01:22:53,130 for me to realize how much I need you. 1541 01:22:53,173 --> 01:22:55,478 Oh, Ron. 1542 01:22:58,828 --> 01:23:00,827 Those bears are gonna hurt them! 1543 01:23:00,827 --> 01:23:03,654 News team, let's hunt. 1544 01:23:05,090 --> 01:23:07,179 News team! 1545 01:23:10,178 --> 01:23:12,265 Bear fight! 1546 01:23:14,527 --> 01:23:17,050 Come on. Come on! 1547 01:23:23,617 --> 01:23:25,008 Damn! 1548 01:23:25,008 --> 01:23:27,096 Hit 'em in the uvula! 1549 01:23:28,010 --> 01:23:29,357 Hey, Ron! 1550 01:23:29,357 --> 01:23:31,445 I'm riding a furry tractor! 1551 01:23:32,359 --> 01:23:34,794 The bears have descended on the news team 1552 01:23:34,836 --> 01:23:36,489 and it's not going well. 1553 01:23:36,489 --> 01:23:39,490 Clearly, after today, I will no longer-- 1554 01:23:39,534 --> 01:23:42,187 Come on! Oh, God! 1555 01:23:42,231 --> 01:23:44,666 It's getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous! 1556 01:23:46,362 --> 01:23:47,797 Oh, no. 1557 01:23:47,797 --> 01:23:50,885 We woke up the mama. 1558 01:23:53,451 --> 01:23:55,538 Oh, God! 1559 01:23:56,451 --> 01:23:58,887 I don't wanna die. 1560 01:24:04,585 --> 01:24:08,715 Baxter! 1561 01:24:46,988 --> 01:24:49,465 Look! They're following their mother! 1562 01:24:49,465 --> 01:24:50,857 It's instinct. 1563 01:24:50,857 --> 01:24:53,162 Oh, Baxter! 1564 01:24:53,206 --> 01:24:57,598 Oh! Oh, Baxter, you're still alive! 1565 01:24:57,598 --> 01:25:00,991 Oh, I'm so happy! 1566 01:25:01,034 --> 01:25:04,688 I'm so happy! You are alive! 1567 01:25:04,731 --> 01:25:07,339 I'm so happy! 1568 01:25:13,690 --> 01:25:15,168 I will lick you! 1569 01:25:15,168 --> 01:25:18,256 I will lick you in front of everyone to show my joy. 1570 01:25:18,300 --> 01:25:20,387 Oh. Ohhh! 1571 01:25:20,387 --> 01:25:23,475 Boy, he really likes that dog. 1572 01:25:23,519 --> 01:25:25,954 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1573 01:25:25,998 --> 01:25:28,345 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1574 01:25:28,389 --> 01:25:30,998 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1575 01:25:31,042 --> 01:25:33,304 Hi, Ron. 1576 01:25:33,347 --> 01:25:36,478 It's always a long fall from the top, isn't it? 1577 01:25:36,521 --> 01:25:38,001 Easy, Wes. 1578 01:25:38,001 --> 01:25:41,392 I've been waiting to say this to you for a long time. 1579 01:25:41,435 --> 01:25:43,827 - All right. - Deep down in my stomach, 1580 01:25:43,827 --> 01:25:45,524 with every inch of me, 1581 01:25:45,524 --> 01:25:48,350 I pure, straight 1582 01:25:48,394 --> 01:25:50,482 hate you! 1583 01:25:55,179 --> 01:25:57,571 But, God damn it, do I respect you! 1584 01:26:10,618 --> 01:26:12,096 Thank you, 1585 01:26:12,096 --> 01:26:14,184 brother. 1586 01:26:15,793 --> 01:26:19,055 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1587 01:26:19,055 --> 01:26:21,535 Today we spell redemption 1588 01:26:21,535 --> 01:26:23,578 R-O-N. 1589 01:26:23,578 --> 01:26:26,404 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1590 01:26:26,447 --> 01:26:28,318 Ron, you're my hero! 1591 01:26:28,318 --> 01:26:32,144 Ron, I think you've got a story to report. 1592 01:26:34,231 --> 01:26:36,319 Are you sure, Ed? 1593 01:26:36,711 --> 01:26:38,624 Do it. 1594 01:26:38,624 --> 01:26:41,233 It's the story you were born to tell. 1595 01:26:46,279 --> 01:26:48,758 San Diego's waiting. Go get 'em. 1596 01:26:48,801 --> 01:26:50,410 Make way! 1597 01:26:50,410 --> 01:26:53,411 Ron Burgundy's about to report on pandas! 1598 01:26:55,890 --> 01:26:57,499 Count me down. Three. 1599 01:26:57,499 --> 01:26:59,586 You're live, Mr. Burgundy. 1600 01:26:59,586 --> 01:27:01,588 This is Ron Burgundy, 1601 01:27:01,588 --> 01:27:05,457 proudly reporting once again for Channel 4 News. 1602 01:27:05,501 --> 01:27:09,329 Today's story is one of the more remarkable things 1603 01:27:09,373 --> 01:27:12,459 ever to happen to San Diago 1604 01:27:12,503 --> 01:27:14,243 or even the world. 1605 01:27:14,243 --> 01:27:17,244 But in order to properly retell it, 1606 01:27:17,244 --> 01:27:19,592 I'm going to need some help 1607 01:27:19,636 --> 01:27:21,983 from my co-anchor, 1608 01:27:23,202 --> 01:27:25,245 Miss Veronica Corningstone. 1609 01:27:27,377 --> 01:27:30,074 - High-pressure system-- - No, no, no, no, Brick. 1610 01:27:30,117 --> 01:27:32,204 - High-pressure system-- - Go stand over there. 1611 01:27:36,161 --> 01:27:37,597 Oh, Ron. 1612 01:27:37,597 --> 01:27:39,946 Ron, there are literally thousands of men 1613 01:27:39,988 --> 01:27:41,598 that I should be with instead, 1614 01:27:41,598 --> 01:27:44,730 but I am 72% sure that I love you. 1615 01:27:51,949 --> 01:27:55,123 Yes, redemption was sweet for Ron Burgundy. 1616 01:27:55,167 --> 01:27:57,863 Yes! Ron! 1617 01:27:57,906 --> 01:28:01,560 - As for the news team: - Stop it! Ron! 1618 01:28:01,604 --> 01:28:04,995 Champ Kind went on to become a commentator for the NFL, 1619 01:28:05,039 --> 01:28:07,604 but was later fired after being accused 1620 01:28:07,648 --> 01:28:11,302 of sexual harassment by Terry Bradshaw. 1621 01:28:11,345 --> 01:28:13,390 Excuse me. 1622 01:28:13,390 --> 01:28:15,955 Is that Sex Panther you're wearing? 1623 01:28:18,260 --> 01:28:20,782 Brian Fantana went on to have great success 1624 01:28:20,826 --> 01:28:23,349 as the host of the hit reality TV show 1625 01:28:23,391 --> 01:28:26,262 "Intercourse Island" on the Fox Network. 1626 01:28:26,306 --> 01:28:29,002 Anyone seen Brick? 1627 01:28:29,046 --> 01:28:31,090 - Brick? - Don't! That tickles! 1628 01:28:31,090 --> 01:28:34,307 No, that tickles me! Come on! 1629 01:28:34,351 --> 01:28:37,308 Brick Tamland is married with 11 children 1630 01:28:37,352 --> 01:28:39,570 and is one of the top political advisors 1631 01:28:39,614 --> 01:28:41,353 to the Bush White House. 1632 01:28:41,353 --> 01:28:44,005 I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you! 1633 01:28:54,574 --> 01:28:57,748 And Ron and Veronica didn't stay in San Diego long. 1634 01:29:01,663 --> 01:29:03,794 I chose them as my replacement, 1635 01:29:03,837 --> 01:29:07,229 and they became the first mixed-gender network news team, 1636 01:29:07,272 --> 01:29:09,533 and they're still doing it today. 1637 01:29:09,577 --> 01:29:12,665 From all of us here at the World News Center, 1638 01:29:12,709 --> 01:29:14,492 I'm Veronica Corningstone. 1639 01:29:14,492 --> 01:29:16,362 And I'm Ron Burgundy. 1640 01:29:16,362 --> 01:29:19,015 You stay classy, planet Earth. 1641 01:29:19,276 --> 01:29:21,973 Brought To You By MohammaD [SHoCk Movies] 1642 01:29:22,277 --> 01:29:26,235 Brought To You By MohammaD [SHoCk Movies] ♪ Carry on, my wayward son ♪ 1643 01:29:26,235 --> 01:29:30,279 ♪ There'll be peace when you are done ♪ 1644 01:29:30,323 --> 01:29:34,584 ♪ Lay your weary head to rest ♪ 1645 01:29:34,584 --> 01:29:36,672 ♪ Don't you cry no more... ♪ 1646 01:29:36,716 --> 01:29:40,021 Oh! Great Odin's raven! 1647 01:29:40,063 --> 01:29:43,542 Oh! By the hammer of Thor! 1648 01:29:43,587 --> 01:29:47,196 Oh! Saint Damien's beard! 1649 01:29:47,240 --> 01:29:49,763 Sweet grandmother's spatula! 1650 01:29:49,806 --> 01:29:52,589 Oh! Hot pot of coffee! 1651 01:29:52,633 --> 01:29:56,068 Uncle Jonathan's corncob pipe! 1652 01:29:58,721 --> 01:30:01,591 I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. 1653 01:30:01,635 --> 01:30:03,636 In the back of the head. 1654 01:30:03,636 --> 01:30:06,158 I'm sorry. 1655 01:30:07,635 --> 01:30:09,897 You're not very bright. You know that, right? 1656 01:30:09,941 --> 01:30:11,638 You're actually quite a dullard. 1657 01:30:11,638 --> 01:30:14,031 Everyone here knows it. 1658 01:30:14,073 --> 01:30:18,205 If I'm a dullard, you're the, uh, the dull-- 1659 01:30:18,248 --> 01:30:21,423 Oh! Can't think of anything to say, can you? 1660 01:30:21,466 --> 01:30:24,468 Yes, I can. I can think of a lot of things to say. 1661 01:30:24,468 --> 01:30:26,554 Like, you're a dirty bitch. 1662 01:30:29,468 --> 01:30:31,773 Well, Ron, I'm gonna put poison-- 1663 01:30:31,816 --> 01:30:33,904 Oh, my God! 1664 01:30:38,383 --> 01:30:41,602 I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava. 1665 01:30:41,645 --> 01:30:43,994 I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. 1666 01:30:44,037 --> 01:30:48,473 It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said. 1667 01:30:48,516 --> 01:30:50,127 My stomach's itchy. 1668 01:30:50,127 --> 01:30:51,344 I pooped a hammer. 1669 01:30:51,344 --> 01:30:53,518 I pooped a tape recorder. 1670 01:30:53,561 --> 01:30:55,649 I pooped a Cornish game hen. 1671 01:30:58,259 --> 01:31:00,172 Uh... 1672 01:31:00,172 --> 01:31:02,259 Nope. 1673 01:31:03,216 --> 01:31:05,260 You do not take a tone with me, 1674 01:31:05,260 --> 01:31:08,522 'cause I will give you a rap right on the Jack Johnson! 1675 01:31:08,566 --> 01:31:10,088 - Okay. - Yes. 1676 01:31:10,088 --> 01:31:11,870 Now this is happenin'. 1677 01:31:11,870 --> 01:31:13,524 What are you doing? 1678 01:31:13,524 --> 01:31:15,612 - Hah! - What are you doing? 1679 01:31:15,655 --> 01:31:17,741 What are you-- 1680 01:31:22,004 --> 01:31:23,222 Action. 1681 01:31:23,222 --> 01:31:25,310 We'll go back to doing what I do best-- 1682 01:31:25,353 --> 01:31:28,137 I guess we'll go back to doing what I do best, show off. 1683 01:31:28,179 --> 01:31:30,136 When do we get started? 1684 01:31:30,136 --> 01:31:31,876 When do we get started? 1685 01:31:31,876 --> 01:31:33,876 - That's my line. - When do we get started? 1686 01:31:33,876 --> 01:31:35,877 You say, "Whenever you like." 1687 01:31:35,877 --> 01:31:37,617 Whenever you like. 1688 01:31:37,617 --> 01:31:39,704 Keep it rollin'. This is good stuff. 1689 01:31:40,704 --> 01:31:43,531 ...an area bank in a daring... 1690 01:31:43,575 --> 01:31:46,794 Probably not the same one. Probably not the same guy. 1691 01:31:54,535 --> 01:31:56,579 Brick, before I let you go, 1692 01:31:56,579 --> 01:31:59,188 are you still having your celebrity golf tournament this summer? 1693 01:31:59,188 --> 01:32:01,188 No, too many people died last year. 1694 01:32:01,232 --> 01:32:03,406 So we're not gonna do-- 1695 01:32:03,450 --> 01:32:05,537 Sorry. Sorry. 1696 01:32:06,233 --> 01:32:09,538 They named it San Diego. 1697 01:32:09,538 --> 01:32:13,322 Which in German means, "a whale's vagina." 1698 01:32:19,889 --> 01:32:22,412 This is the most ridiculous thing ever. 1699 01:32:43,503 --> 01:32:47,113 ♪ Carry on, my wayward son ♪ 1700 01:32:47,157 --> 01:32:50,940 ♪ There'll be peace when you are done ♪ 1701 01:32:50,940 --> 01:32:54,638 ♪ Lay your weary head to rest ♪ 1702 01:32:54,681 --> 01:32:55,811 ♪ Don't you cry ♪ 1703 01:32:55,811 --> 01:32:58,769 ♪ Don't you cry no more ♪ 1704 01:33:15,990 --> 01:33:18,252 Way to handle him. That was nice. 1705 01:33:18,296 --> 01:33:20,165 It sure is good to be number one. 1706 01:33:20,165 --> 01:33:22,819 It sure beats the hell out of number two. 1707 01:33:24,253 --> 01:33:26,646 We are laughing! 1708 01:33:26,646 --> 01:33:28,993 And we are very good friends. 1709 01:33:29,037 --> 01:33:31,995 Good buddies sharing a special moment. 1710 01:33:32,039 --> 01:33:34,865 Don't say anything, Ron. Just let it happen. 1711 01:33:34,909 --> 01:33:37,953 We're laughing, enjoying our friendship. 1712 01:33:37,953 --> 01:33:41,432 And someday we'll look back on this with much fondness. 1713 01:33:42,520 --> 01:33:45,651 Yeah. 1714 01:33:46,305 --> 01:33:52,711 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org123610

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.