All language subtitles for whos_the_boss_s05e04_yankee_doodle_micelli

There's a time for love and a time for
living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. A
brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail and at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path not
taken.

The choice is up to you, my friend.

Not so long, but you might awaken to a
brand new life, brand new life, a brand

new life both round the bend.

Bases loaded, three and two count.

Mattingly's at the plate and Clemens
working out of the stretch.

Here's the wind -up.

And the pitch.

That ball is going!

Going! And I wasn't even batting with a
regulation load.

And the silly scores!

Well, pin a rose on your nose.

Wait a minute. Why are we in such a
snit?

Mother! Time to clean the attic!

Does that answer our question?

There you are, Mother. You promised you
would help us clean the attic today. I

lied.

He's dusted and dust -busted.

All right.

Angela, it's bad enough that you have
worked me like a dog, but this poor,

innocent child... She's paying me three
bucks an hour. I made my bed.

All right, clean freaks, let's put the
rest of this stuff away and wish your

star pitcher good luck.

Let me tell you, this game today is
going to be rough because the guys we're

playing... They're animals.

They're killers. They're murderers.

Who are you playing?

Debbie's frozen yogurt.

All right. Hey, everybody.

Check out my praying mantis. Wait a
minute. Where'd you get this box, pal?

In the attic. Mom threw it away.

What the... Hey.

Be careful. He's eating lunch. Two
spiders and a moth. Oh, no.

It's nature's way, Tony.

I'm not talking about this praying
mantis. I'm talking about the bottle

that were in here. Where are they?

Beats me.

Well, didn't you see them?

Maybe they fell out in the attic
somewhere.

For where somewhere, Angela? What is the
big deal? It's just junk.

Junk? Junk, Angela?

Don't you ever talk about my bottle caps
that way again.

I gotta find them.

The pressures of suburban softball.

Okay, guys, stay still. I'll find...
What is so important, Tony? Oh, here's

Oh, good eye, Angela.

Wait a minute. No, it's a false alarm.
This is a diet call of late 80s.

I'm looking for you who late 50s and one
orange knee high.

Tony, I have a degree in psychology, so
here's a free diagnosis.

You're a wacko.

Well, hearty ha -ha, Mona. Let me tell
you something. My grandfather gave me

these caps. They're real important to
me. Which grandpa was this? The one with

the hair growing out of his ears or the
one with hair coming out of his nose?

Grandpa Masselli.

Oh, the ears.

Yeah, I remember when he came from
Palermo.

You know, he came to take care of me
because...

You know, my mom died when I was seven,
and she left me and Pop all alone, and

Grandpa came to help.

There's nothing like a little boy and
his grandpa.

You two must have been crazy about each
other. Well, actually, I hated him at

first. You hated your grandfather?

Well, he wasn't my mother.

Boy, those...

Those first few months were tough.

Now, son. For both of us.

He was trying to get along with his
grandson.

I just wanted to be left alone.

These boys got to have a new one or
nothing.

Oh, thank you.

Anything in this world too good for
these two.

And that includes you, too.

Hello, Ando.

How's my Anthony, huh?

Hello, Grandpa.

I don't know.

That's my good boy, huh?

I don't.

Turn off Mr. Head and come and talk to
me.

Fluffy. I'm so sorry, huh?

In Italy, we have only one show.

I love Lucia.

It's no good to sit in the house all
afternoon watching a talk in the dog.

Fluffy doesn't talk.

Excuse me.

And that's not where Mama kept the
oatmeal.

Excuse me.

Ando. How about a special dinner, huh?
Anything you want.

Even a spumoni is a domain of course,
huh?

I'm not hungry.

I spent it. I spent it.

I remember how he used to listen to this
radio program that played patriotic

songs. Grandpa loved anything American.

Baseball, Fourth of July, the Edsels.

He didn't have much faith in cards.

But more than anything else, he loved
George M. Cohen.

Ando, who am I, huh?

My father thank you, my mother thank
you, my sister thank you, and I thank

George M. Cohen.

Pretty good, huh?

Grandpa,

what are you doing? Your feet will go
out.

Pick up your feet.

I don't get it.

Up, up, up.

Come on.

That's the boy, huh?

I remember when my grandpa does this to
me.

Except that I had a bare feet.

Okay,

come on. Stand up and do like I do.

Come on, try one time for your grandpa,
please.

All right, if you promise, one time.

Close to my heart and I hope it to fly.

Let's try.

Never say die to all the men, huh?

Let's try.

There's something about the sound those
cats made against the linoleum.

Even though I didn't want to like it, I
did.

A lot.

Want to do some more?

Yeah.

Imagine.

You kept those bottle caps as a precious
memory of your grandfather all these

years, and I just tossed them away.

Don't blame yourself.

I mean, how were you to know they were
so important to me? You know, you could

have asked.

Tony, we're going to find those bottle
caps.

You really think so?

Cross my heart and hope it to fly.

Okay, come on, then. Let's keep looking.
Okay, Sam, you take the stairs. I'll

take the chimney. I'll take the trunk.
I'll supervise. I don't want anybody to

shirk their duty.

All right, let's see. Now, if I found
the cigar box there, then I might have

thrown the bottle caps here.

You found the bottle caps. Close.

Your training bra.

Dad,

what does it say?

look like?

Yoo -hoo. Dad.

What?

What are you looking at? Oh, nothing.

It's a U .S. citizenship tag.

Yeah, yeah. It was my grandfather's.
Come on. Let's look for them caps. Wait

minute. I want to see it.

Whoa.

He aced it.

Talk about a brain. He even knew who
Lyndon Johnson was.

Look how he signed his name.

The same way you do.

Illegible. Tony, this is a priceless
memento of your grandfather. I think we

should get it framed.

Well, I think we should drop it. Tony,
it's part of your history.

Well, let's keep it like that. History.

Tony, I thought you wanted mementos of
your grandfather.

Well, look, Angela, I got a game to
play, okay? Let's forget about the

forget about the caps, and let's forget
about this stupid test.

Hi, Angela.

Oh, hi.

Oh, sorry you lost your game.

How'd you know we lost?

Well, you came in here and you said, Hi,
Angela, instead of, Yo, Angela.

Wow, you really do know me, huh?

Yes, I do.

You want to talk about things?

I guess.

First, Ronnie got thrown out at the
plate.

And then Roy, he missed an easy pop fly.

And then Frank, how do you want to tell
you?

What I meant.

I know.

Angela, I, uh... I did something
terrible to my grandfather.

See, because of me, he never became an
American citizen.

It was back in 1964, and I was 13.

I was supposed to go with Grandpa to
watch him stand up and take the oath.

He was so excited.

He had his only suit cleaned, and he
even treated himself to a new tie.

Boy, was it ugly.

Ah, Matteo Michelli.

Ah, Matteo Michelli.

Ah, Matteo Michelli.

Uh, Grandpa?

Oh, Andona. I'm so glad you're home.
Now, we're not going to be late, eh?

Um, someone's here to see you.

I'm -a thinkin' we're gonna be late.

Good afternoon, Mr. Michelli.

Guess who's been stealin' subway signs
again?

I overlook things once, twice, but three
times, and we start practicing law and

order. I should bet, I should bet.

Hold on.

Did you steal the sign?

Philly Fingers made me do it.

Why? Why would he make you steal a
subway sign, huh?

Because he needed a present for Mother's
Day.

What's the matter with you, huh? You
always cause trouble.

This is America.

Here, you can make a common thing
yourself.

I know, I know.

Grandpa, I keep telling you, there's
nothing I'm good at.

What are you talking about, huh? You
good at baseball?

Oh, sure. The Yankees are knocking down
my door.

Maybe one day they might be, huh?

Hang on.

Learn to dream.

Hey, look at me, huh?

All of my life, I want to be an
American, huh?

Today, I gonna be.

But that's different.

It's easier to become a citizen than a
baseball player.

Well, all right.

Maybe so, huh? Maybe so, but look at Joe
DiMaggio, huh? Joe DiMaggio,

he's a Yankee, he's a famous, he's a
rich.

And he's Italian.

That's right.

Look, I can't stand here all day.

I'll give you a choice.

A, we call the punk's father. Oh, hey.

Hey, oh.

I don't want to call my grandson a punk.

Excuse me. We call the young gentleman's
father, and he has a talk with the

captain. That's a no -good either.

I'm going to break my son's heart.

He works so hard to support this little
punk.

Okay, then.

I haul him down to the station house and
lock him up. Oh.

Can I go into my son's place?

But, Grandpa, what about getting sworn
in?

Ah, who's going to miss me, huh?

The widow Toscarino?

She flirts with any man who has his own
teeth.

You got your suit cleaned and
everything.

That's okay, huh?

Next month, there's going to be another
ceremony.

Come on.

We go.

We talk.

You learn to behave.

Otherwise, I send you to my brother
Vincenzo in Sicily.

A

couple

of weeks later, he was arguing the price
of a bell pepper with the vegetable man

when he bought it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

The thing is, he died before the next
swearing -in ceremony.

Boy, was the little Tuscarino
disappointed.

Mother, I've been thinking about life.

Is this Orville Redenbacher, that
generic stuff?

Generic.

Do you ever wish you could change the
past?

Yes.

I would have seen Cats with the original
Broadway cast.

Would you be serious? I am trying to
talk about Tony.

Well, then why are you blabbing about
popcorn?

Mother, what...

What would make a guy who was really
down feel a whole lot better?

I

don't

think you're willing to do that, dear.

I can't. I just can't stand to see Tony
in such pain.

Yeah.

Guilt stinks.

But, Angela, what is done is done.

He's just going to have to learn to live
with it. No, it's unfair. It's just

unfair. I mean, here is this poor,
motherless little boy who did one thing

wrong, and he's been kicking himself
ever since.

In the best of all possible worlds, what
would you want?

Well, I'd want Grandpa Methele to become
an American citizen.

Then do it.

He's dead.

I can't believe you've never heard of
posthumous naturalization.

I haven't. Me neither.

But think about it. Now, if a dead man
can get a pardon, he can certainly

an American citizen.

He just won't be able to vote.

Except in Chicago.

I'm Judge Hamilton.

I believe you're supposed to rise when I
come into a room.

Now you're supposed to sit.

But you're so young.

You still have to sit.

Now, let's see.

It says here in Judge Stanton's notes
that, uh, Ms. Bauer requested

naturalization of a Mr.

Maselli.

I assume that's you.

No, no, this is for my grandfather.

Fine, fine.

Where is he?

Well, he's under an oak tree in Sleeping
Meadows.

Dead? Yes.

Do you want me to naturalize a dead
person?

Well, he passed the requisite test.
Yeah, and see, he just didn't make it to

swearing -in ceremony.

Your Honor, this is called posthumous
naturalization.

Who thought that one up?

She did.

Actually,

it was my mother.

Huh? I'm sorry. My docket is full with
live people.

No, if you don't mind. Oh, wait a
minute.

Listen, Your Honor, haven't you ever
done anything you really regretted when

were a kid?

No.

Well, maybe you can understand this
anyway. You see, Your Honor, a little

with a funny accent moves into your
house and... and tries to be your

I mean, he makes you clean behind your
ears and eat oatmeal, and he's always

nagging you to try to be somebody.

Well, the funny thing is that you end up
with the cleanest ears in the

neighborhood, and you end up being
somebody.

Of course, I still hate oatmeal, but
that's another story.

What I'm trying to say is it was my
grandfather who taught me how to dream,

I was just hoping that maybe...

I could make one of his dreams come true
today.

There's no statute to cover this
request.

But you're a judge. You can set
precedent.

I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if they
wrote this up in the law journals or

wrote you up as a case history or
appointed you to the Supreme Court.

That was one too many, wasn't it?

Yeah.

But I won't hold it against you.

Are you to be the proxy, Mr. Maselli?

You mean you'll do it?

I was going to do it after his speech,
but he kept going.

Would you raise your right hand and
repeat after me?

Hi.

I can't read the name. It's illegible.

Mateo. Mateo Maselli.

Hi.

Mateo Maselli.

Hereby declare on oath.

I, Matteo Masselli, hereby declare on
oath.

That I will support and defend the
Constitution and laws of the United

America. That I will support and defend
the Constitution and laws of the United

States of America.

Against all enemies, foreign and
domestic.

Against all enemies, foreign and
domestic.

That I will bear true faith and
allegiance to the same. That I will bear

faith. An allegiance to the same.

And that I take this obligation freely
without any mental reservation or

of evasion. And that I take this
obligation freely without any mental

reservation or purpose of evasion.

So help me God.

So help me God.

Amen.

Welcome to America, Mr. Maselli.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Nice country.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have this
overwhelming desire to call my

grandfather.

Angela?

Yes, Tony?

I thank you.

My father thanks you. My mother thanks
you. And most of all, Grandpa Maselli

thanks you.

I love this. Dad, nobody does this
anymore. Oh, come on. It's a Miss

tradition. Try once for me. Please,
please, please, please.

Okay, okay, if you promise just one
time. Okay, great, great. I'll keep it

simple, okay? Ready?

Summer camp's great, except for all
those counselors that make you do things

don't want to do.

That's why we invented Camp Nick at
Night. There are no counselors, and you

whatever you want as long as it's
watching.