All language subtitles for whos_the_boss_s02e20_tony_for_president

There is more to life than what's your
lip. Take a chance and face the wind.

Open road and a road that's hit. Brand
new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail that at the end was you.

There's a path we're taking and a path
not taking. The choice is up to you, my

friend. Nights are long, but you might
wake to a brand new life, brand new

brand new life around the bend.

Okay, okay, here we go, here we go now.
The word we have all been waiting for.

There, hey, 89 points.

Wow.

Wait a minute.

Corch flap?

What's a corch flap?

A little flap on the back of a corch.

You think I made that up?

Yes. You want me to get the dictionary?

Yes.

Okay, so I cheated.

Sure. That is it. I am fed up with
Joanne Parker.

I mean, she's the worst president. She
doesn't care about the Parents

Association. All she wants to do is push
her husband's insurance.

Come on, Tony. She must know something
about the Parents Association.

Oh, yeah, Mona? Yeah?

Tonight we had to sit through life
insurance, the movie.

What happened to you? I left early. I
walked home. What are you kidding me? I

couldn't stand to watch Joanne Parker
get nominated again.

Who, me? Why, I'd be honored.

That's just what she said.

Just how she said it. Yeah, well, I just
wish somebody would run against her.

Good news.

Somebody will.

That's great.

Who?

Somebody with integrity.

Yeah? Who?

Somebody who cares about kids and the
community.

Who? Somebody we can be proud to have as
the president of our parents'

association. Angela, who?

You.

Perfect for the job. Besides, after you
left, I kind of gave him the impression

that you might be interested.

What did you say?

I nominate Tony Maselli for president.

I second the nomination.

All in favor of Tony for president, say
aye. Aye. Aye.

Aye. Mr.

Maselli, do you accept the nomination of
your party?

Who, me? Why, I'd be honest.

It's a good -looking guy.

I mean, I'd vote for him.

Hey, Angela, this is terrific. Look at
all this stuff.

Flyers, buttons, bumper stickers.

One of these.

Thumbs in purple, too. Try it on.

You like it?

Well,

I think it'll definitely get us to
killer B vote.

Oh, Angela, you are a terrific campaign
manager.

Oh, thanks, Tony.

Selling a candidate is just like selling
anything else. It's what I do for a

living. Yeah, well, my only criticism...
Oh, you have a criticism?

It's the slogan.

It doesn't seem to have the... It
doesn't have enough oomph.

Oomph.

You know.

Yes, I know. I invented oomph. And I can
tell you categorically that this slogan

has exactly the right amount of oomph.

I hurt your feelings, didn't I?

Oh, of course not. I'm a professional.

I'm used to dealing with pig -headed
clients who think they know it all.

Well, I mean, you know, on second
thought, Miss Shelby's our man, eh?

great. It's perfect.

It's perfect. Well, you're the client,
as long as you're happy.

Okay.

Aha! I'm glad I found you two together.

Look what I got for your campaign.

Ah!

That's what I call oomph. I mean,

it's not bad. It's not bad. Mother, I'm
surprised you didn't stoop lower.

That I like, Mona. I mean, you got them
coming and going.

Mother, you are pandering to the lowest
common denominator.

Oh, thanks.

I hoped you'd like it.

Oh, Mother.

Dear, just please don't wear it to the
debate on Friday night. The what on

Friday night?

Oh, yeah, it's just this little meet the
candidates thing that I set up. You and

Joanne, one on one. Angela, I hope
you're talking basketball.

Oh, Tony, trust me.

I'll get you ready. We'll go over every
possible question.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, come on, Tony, don't worry. All you
have to do is stand up there and be

yourself. Speak out about the issues.

Thanks, Molly.

And it wouldn't hurt if you took your
shirt off.

Now, we may be opponents, but we can
still be friends.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Sure. What are you paying for car
insurance?

Well, I'd have to look that up, Joanne.
Well, whatever it is, I'm sure Walt can

beat it.

No, it's too bad. I mean, she seems like
such a nice lady. Too bad we have to

mop the floor with her.

We're going to start now, candidates.
Please take your places.

Hello. Have you decided who you're going
to vote for yet?

Not yet. That's why I'm here tonight.
I'm keeping an open mind.

Hi, I'm Wendy Wittner. I'm your
chairperson tonight.

On my left is a lovely lady who needs no
introduction, so why bother?

The finest this community has to offer.

A man following in the tradition of
Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Weighing in at 165 pounds, Tony Metelli.

Tony! Tony!

Tony! Tony!

Tony!

Okay, we're going to start with a
question for Joanne, and then Tony has a

chance to rebut.

Let the games begin.

The chair recognizes Beverly.

Joanne, what do you consider to be your
greatest strength as a Parents

Association president?

I'm glad you asked that.

My greatest strength.

That would have to be my firm belief in
the family unit. A belief I share with

Walt, my husband of 14 years. A belief
in the traditional moral values.

I'm like my worthy opponent who's living
in sin with his so -called boss.

that certainly gets things rolling.

Tony, would you like to rebut?

Yeah, you bet I'll rebut. That is a
total lie.

I mean, Angela and I are employer
-employee and friends.

Oh, friends.

Wait a minute. What are you getting at?
Well, I mean two healthy, attractive

adults cohabitating. Are you telling me
nothing ever happened?

Nothing. No meaningful glances across
the dinner table?

No. No stolen crevices? as you pass the
butter or oil or whatever it is you

people use?

Never. You expect us to believe that all
this time you two have been living

together, you've never shared a bed?

Uh... Well, it was an accident.

Listen,

I thought I was getting into somebody
else's bed.

Handled himself well under pressure.

You see, we were watching this scary
movie, right?

So Sam, Sam had a nightmare.

So she came into my room, but Jonathan
was already there.

So she went to Angela's room. So then
Angela couldn't sleep.

So she went to Sam's room. So then
Jonathan got sick and tired of listening

me snore. So he told me that Sam wanted
me to sleep with her in her room. So I

went there thinking it was her.

And it wasn't until the next morning
that I found out it wasn't her.

Good morning, Tony.

Morning, Angela.

How was I supposed to know it was
Angela?

Mr. Metelli, the Parents Association
demands the truth.

Wait, that is the truth. Hey, we never
took our clothes off.

Tony, we are not on trial. We're here to
discuss the issues, not whether or not

we've seen each other naked.

Well, that was an accident, too.

Look,

I don't have a bathtub, and she does. I
didn't even know she was home. So I

picked up my Captain Bubble, and I
headed for work.

My bubble bath. Hi -ho.

Hi -ho. Hi -ho.

Hi -ho. Hi.

Holy smokes.

Well, so, as you can see, it was an
accident.

And, you know, statistics, they say that
90 % of all household accidents happen

in the bathroom.

I don't really have a question.

We're ruined.

Our names have been dragged through the
mud.

What are we going to do?

First thing in the morning, I'm going to
call Walt and answer your insurance

policy.

This is the worst night of my life.

Oh, that's nonsense, Angela.

Remember the night of your junior prom
when you had that huge, ugly zit on the

end of your nose?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you, Mother. And your date came by
and took one look at you? I thought he

was going to dump his groceries.

Yes, yes, Mother. You are right. That
was bad.

But this is worse.

See, my skin cleared up, but my
reputation is blemished forever.

Talk about blemished, huh?

Oh, boy. I mean, I gotta go stand in
line at the grocery store while people

down their National Enquirers and talk
about me.

And me.

Oh, yeah, Ranger. What was I thinking
of? Gee, I know you must feel a lot

than I do.

Oh, thanks.

That's very sensitive of you, Tony.
Yeah.

I know how I'd feel if it was all my
fault.

All my fault?

Well, I mean, the whole debate was your
harebrained idea, wasn't it?

Well, then you must feel really bad
since you're the one who choked.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You are
both on the same side.

Of course, it is the losing side.

I mean, if you don't stand up for each
other, it's becoming very apparent that

nobody else will.

Huh?

You know, Angela, she's right. She's
right. You know, Joanne is responsible

this. I mean, she's accusing us of doing
things that we never did.

Or even thought about.

Ah, here they are, the decadent duo.

You know that you two have been spotted
in the cemetery, romping naked in the

moonlight?

The last thing that we need right now is
more gossip.

Huh?

Even if it is about Joanne Parker?

Dish it out, Mona.

Well, it seems that her pool man visited
her four times last month.

So? So she hasn't got a pool.

All right, Mona.

All right.

Now we got it. We got it. And I'm going
to show her what mudslinging is all

about. All right.

She'll rue the day she raked your muck.

Sorry to rain on your parade, but we
can't use it. Why not?

Because two wrongs don't make a right.

What about three wrongs?

We are going to win this election fair
and square.

Well, that's the hard way.

It's the only way.

Well, let me know if you want to hear
about Joanne and Don the dry cleaner.

When she drops her clothes off, so does
he.

Angela, Angela, are you sure we can win
this election without using that stuff?

Absolutely.

I hope you're right, Angela. Gee, I want
this.

I want this. I mean, you know, this
place has been really good for Sam, you

know, and I would like to give something
back. I mean, these are good people

here. They're good people.

All right, they're a little uptight, but
hey, so were you before you met me,

huh?

Well, after an uptight stick in the mud
like me, the rest of the community

should be a piece of cake.

That's what I thought.

You know, this smear campaign's gonna be
rough, but I can handle it.

So can I. All right.

Hey.

Oh, wait.

Who gave you that china?

Some creeps at the park. They were
bugging us.

Pop them one.

Jonathan!

Well, actually, Sam popped them. I
kicked them when they were down.

All right, young lady. Now, what did I
tell you about fighting?

Lead with my left?

You know what I mean.

They deserved it. They've been riding us
all day.

About what?

Just your basic stuff.

Mom.

Tony doing something wrong?

Absolutely not, sweetheart.

That's what Sam told him.

Right before she made him eat dirt.

I don't believe it's gone this far.

Hey, look, kids.

Go wash up for dinner. Go ahead.

Oh, darn.

That kid's tooth chipped my nail polish.

He'll pay for that one.

I don't believe it. I mean, it's one
thing to pick on us, but they're picking

the kids.

Look, you're my campaign manager.

What do you think I should do?

Tony, Angela, no hard feelings. I hope
we all want what's best for the kids.

Yeah, sure, Joanne.

Joanne, that's a lovely blouse.

Oh, thank you.

Joanne, who does your dry cleaning?

Don Simpson.

Why do you ask?

Oh, well, I'm just looking for a new
place.

I understand Don has the best one -hour
service in town.

Attention. May I have your attention,
please?

It's time to elect our new president.

Wendy, I have something to say and I got
to say it before the election. A point

of privilege.

Point of what?

Is that really a thing?

I hereby withdraw from the election.

What?

Never mind.

Do you want to tell us why?

No.

I'll tell you why.

Angela, please. It's over. Forget it.

I don't want to forget it.

Tony Maselli has been living with me for
almost two years now.

But I see you all know that.

What you may not know is that this man
is a fighter.

He's never run away from a fight in his
life.

And I just saw him resign.

And I ask you why.

Do you want us to guess?

Tony Maselli moved here so that his
daughter could have the benefits of

up in a great community like ours.

But now she's being teased and tormented
by this smear campaign.

A campaign that is utterly without
foundation.

Or truth.

Really? You mean there's nothing between
you two?

Yes, there is.

There's friendship.

And there's respect.

And caring.

But nothing good?

This community needs a man like Tony
Maselli. Angela, it's two ladies already

dropped out of the race.

Well, that's our loss.

Because he's the finest man I know.

And I trust him with the most precious
thing in my life.

My son.

And she lets him drive her Jaguar, too.

Yes.

is the best thing that ever happened to
Jonathan.

He's the best thing that ever happened
to me.

And he is the best thing that could ever
happen to this parents' association.

I re -nominate Tony Maselli for
president.

I re -second the nomination.

Let's hear it for Tony Maselli.

Angela, that was beautiful. I mean, I
thought I'd have to be dead to hear

like that said about me.

It was a nice speech, wasn't it?

Wait a minute.

You were the one who talked me into
resigning.

Oh, was I?

You did that so you could get their
attention, and then you could make this

speech, huh?

What's a campaign strategist without a
strategy?

Just glad they went for it before I had
to sing God Bless America.

I don't know if I mentioned this to you,
Angela, but you've got a lot of oomph.

Oh, thank you, Mr. President.

We did, didn't we? Yeah, we really did.

Yeah, do you know all that stuff you
said about, you know, me being the best

thing that's ever happened to the
Parents Association?

Yeah. You know, and about me being the
best thing that's ever happened to

Jonathan?

And about me being the best thing that's
ever happened to you?

Did I say that?

I think I heard you, yeah.

Well, that was all part of the campaign.

That's what I thought.