All language subtitles for dharma_greg_s03e14_good_cop_bad_daughter

Shall I wait to my breath on a list of
dessert, or do you just want the check?

Just the check.

And some whipped cream to go.

I'm sorry, Greg, but the man was rude.

Forget something?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Here you go.

Thanks. I'll just make an imprint of
this on my forehead.

I think he wants cash. I didn't bring
any cash. That's him.

That's the man.

Calm down, sir.

We got your wallet. Thanks to this lady
right here. Oh, thank you so much.

You're welcome.

I'd like to give you a reward.

Here's your $40.

Thank you.

Here you go.

Was there something wrong with the
service?

Not enough running, perhaps?

You could use another can. We eat there
a lot.

Thank you.

I'll be right back with your mint.

We were making out at the restaurant, so
I was pretty revved up.

Well,

why don't I just write this up as a
citizen's arrest?

Cool. Hey, can you put down that I gave
Chase and collared the perp?

That's how I'll do it.

Hey,

I have something to ask you.

You and Officer Gorgeous over there, you
got something going on?

What do you mean?

I saw the way he looked at you when you
slapped those cuffs on that guy. These

are very busy people. Just let them do
their job. One moment, sir. How did he

look at me? Like he was wishing that
you'd put the cuffs on him.

Really?

We've been partners for two years. He's
never even seen me out of this uniform.

Oh, believe me, he has.

Thank you.

Okay, we're all done here.

Listen, if there's anything we can do
for you, let us know. We owe you one.

Can you take a peek at your butt and see
if Cupid's arrow is sticking in it?

Thanks very much. We should do this
again.

Something you can do for me.

Did you know she always wanted to do
this? No, but that's not unusual.

What the hell is she doing?

Oh, that's her mean face.

And the whole time, I'm thinking that he
dropped his wallet.

me but before we start pinning medals on
her did anybody stop to think about the

real thief the one who got away do

you know where he's going with this i
think so but i don't want to ruin it for

you the real thief is a system that
oppresses individuals and forces them to

steal and the police are the unwitting
arm of this oppressive system do you

people get what i'm saying

Any special plans?

No, I don't think so.

Oh, that reminds me.

Now what's going on?

Larry and Dharma are planning my
surprise birthday party.

Well, shouldn't you be in there?

No, if I rush right in there, Abby's
going to get suspicious.

Dharma, would you, uh...

Show me how your sink works.

Sure, Larry.

I never really liked surprise parties
myself.

Then you should have Larry throw you
one.

Please let me bake the cake.

Why? Everybody loves my cakes.

Do you remember the cake you cooked for
Abby's 40th birthday party?

No.

Neither does anyone else.

Let me bake the cake.

fake mugshot. Oh, cool.

Wow. Oh, beautiful frame. Where did you
get that?

We went antiquing. We drove down to
Carmel.

Carmel?

Did you stay the night?

You have the right to remain silent.

Oh, you did, didn't you?

Don't, Dharma, don't, don't tease people
with guns.

Anything you found here was found
without a warrant and is therefore

inadmissible. Unless you do have a
warrant, in which case, we're house

It's okay, Larry. These are my friends.

What do you mean, your friends? They're
cuffs.

Yeah, and they're my friends.

Larry, please don't make a big deal out
of it.

I'm not making a big deal out of it. She
wants to betray the values that I

taught her. If she wants to spit in the
face of everything I stand for, that's

not a big deal.

Maybe we should go.

No, no. You know what? We should
probably go. What's it going to be, Dom?

the people who raised you, who put a
roof over your head for 14 of the 18

you lived with us?

Or the enemies of everything they stand
for?

Larry, you're wrong about this one. Bill
and Ellen are the people.

Fine.

That's it, then.

Let's go, Abby.

Very nice to meet you.

Remember, peace officer begins with
peace.

So you, uh, met Owen's parents yet?

You believe this?

Two years I'm driving and then we start
sleeping together.

You don't have the guts to drive.

It's cute, you're a couple now.

Stop it, how are we going to be dad?

Not so good. We're not talking.

Anything we can do to help?

Well, do you think you could explain to
him that you're not part of a conspiracy

to suppress the masses on behalf of the
multinational fascists who secretly rule

the world?

Is that what we do? No wonder we're so
tired at the end of the day.

Oh, I know those guys.

Can we pull them over? What for?

Just to screw with them.

You got it.

I didn't do anything.

Hey, switch seats with me.

Where should I catch a ticket?

Because if I get another one, I'm going
to lose my license.

Come on, switch with me. I don't even
have a license.

Then you've got nothing to lose.

Oh, man, are they switching places?

You know that or the little one's trying
to throw the big one out of the car.

Attention seat switchers.

you drive this is great how

do you get any real work done

Still pretty upset, huh?

Well, he's a Taurus, Greg, and his
moon's in Capricorn. I don't need to

what that means. No, no.

You certainly don't.

I'll go talk to him. You might want to
wait until Mercury's out of retrograde.

I'll take my chances.

Hey.

Hey. What you doing?

Jigsaw puzzle.

Is that Nixon?

Yeah.

Getting on a helicopter after he
resigned in Detroit.

I love this puzzle.

Oh, here's somebody's eye.

Yeah, is it shifty? It looks kind of
bloodshot. Oh, that's Pat.

Listen, Larry, we need to talk about the
situation between you and your

daughter. I have no daughter.

Come on, you don't mean that. Damn right
I mean it.

Larry, why is this a problem? You had
trouble with me because I worked for the

government. In fact, I think you called
me a mindless zombie of the overclass.

Rabbit pitbull of the federales.

Postal workers are mindless zombies of
the overclass.

My point is, once you got to know me,
you realized I wasn't the enemy. Why

you do the same for Dartmouth's friends?
Because they're the police. The steel

toe or the jackboot of the
establishment.

given, but the times they are changing,
right?

Hey, listen to me, Greg.

You weren't there. You don't know what
it was like to protest against an unjust

war and be beaten by sticks and bitten
by police dogs and gassed and tagged and

dragged off into jails because your
opinions weren't acceptable.

All that happened to you? I think so.

I'm not going to change your mind here.

What about Abby's surprise party?

What about it? Well, how are you and
Dharma going to work together if you're

talking to each other? I don't need to
talk to Dharma. I can throw a party for

my old lady all by myself.

Okay. I guess I better get going.

Ride.

Tourist.

Listen, Larry, maybe we should call off
the party.

Party. I don't know what you're talking
about.

Okay, just tell me you're not going to
make a scene with Dharma.

Hey, I won't make a scene. I promise
you, if anybody ruins your surprise

it won't be me.

Thank you.

A little tough love.

I promise.

Good work today, guys.

Take care. See you, buddy.

Good cop, good cop.

Listen, I was talking to your dad, and
believe it or not, some of the stuff he

said kind of made sense.

It was all wrapped up in bumper stickers
and T -shirt slogans, but the guy has

been through some stuff. I know, I know.
I've heard it all my life.

But he's wrong about Bill and Ellen, and
that is all there is to it. But aren't

you the one who's always saying there is
no right and wrong, it's a duality, and

dualities are an illusion?

How does that apply?

You tell me. I didn't even know what it
means.

Thanks so much for taking me to play
miniature golf, Greg. It really made it

special birthday.

You're certainly welcome, Abby. It was
fun for me as well.

Surprise!

Where's Dharma? We should talk about
that. Be right back.

She's being pretty stubborn.

So she's not coming?

throwing separate parties. Surprise!

Separate parties?

Only one of which, for the record, was a
surprise.

Way to go, living room!

Thank you! Thanks, everybody!

Can I have your attention?

The kitchen party is now serving a
delightful 1984 Bordeaux.

And Greg, your parents are here.

Honey, isn't this a little silly?

Look closer, Abby. It's insane.

No, it's perfectly reasonable.

Everyone's welcome to go to Larry's
party. They just have to get their hands

stamped in order to come back to my
party.

Don't be my party.

I'll be right back.

Hold on, Blondie.

You're cool.

This punch is delicious.

You're right. That tastes a little like
punch.

Maybe we should call the truth and have
just one party.

No, there is another party. No. Yes.

Does that one suck, too?

Come on, you're being childish.

Let's have just one party for everybody.

Fine. In the kitchen. Larry.

We got punch.

We got pretzels.

We can make toast.

But I've got birthday cake, Chinese
food, and three kinds of pasta in the

room. Oh.

Yes. Why?

No reason.

Get the camera ready. We're going to be
rich.

Hey. Hey.

What a surprise.

We were working, but we just wanted to
drop by and give this to Dharma's mom.

Dharma told us how much he liked the
antique quilt.

Hey, look who's here.

Hello. Hi.

Hi. Thanks for inviting us. Oh, no
problem. Listen.

a little bit of a situation.

Hey!

What the hell are they doing here?

Larry, let's not do this.

No, I want an answer.

I invited them to my party. You invited
them to my house.

And the only way cops come into my house
is the regular way with a warrant and a

battering ram.

They're not real cops, Fagelstein. Come
on, officers.

Take it off. Take it off.

for Abby's sake?

Fine.

Do you want these people in your home?

Well, Larry, they seem so nice.

That's it, then.

My whole family turned against me.

You got short memories, people. Well,
you know what?

Larry Finkelstein doesn't forget.

I don't forget the cruelty and the
injustice and the cruelty.

Take him in the squad car. Not the squad
car.

Mr. Pickleston, let us help you. On
three. Ready?

One, two, three.

Passive resistance.

Passive resistance.

Go with your mom and dad. We'll be right
behind you.

You'll never take me alive.

Here. Here.

Take my dress. It has magical powers.

I'm so sorry, Dad. I shouldn't have
invited Bill and Ellen. No offense,

Okay.

I was just being a big jerk.

No, I'm the one who should be sorry.

I've been so pig -headed.

No offense.

That's okay.

I don't want you to just think of me as
a man who stood stubbornly by his

principles, but as a compassionate,
loving man.

A man who was open to change and who
accepted people who were different than

himself, even though they abused and
trampled his rights.

He will be a man.

Larry, you're not dying.

Larry Finkelstein.

Was a family man.

A good provider.

None of your business, Hal.

And now... Oh, Larry.

Did I say something? We've got
breathing.

Oh,

that sounds better.

Is it okay for you to eat that? Yeah. As
long as your mother

doesn't find out. Hey, what's the
matter? Is the boss watching? Load up

onions. Oh, geez.

Larry.

You called me dad when you thought I was
going to die.

I know.

It's kind of nice.

You know, if you don't overdo it.

Don't worry.

You'll always be mine, Larry.

Hey, Mr.

Finkelstein, how you feeling?

Much better, thank you.

Turns out it was gas.

Really?

Hey, can you guys do me a favor?

Sure, what do you need?

Come on, Larry, get in the car.

What? Trust me, it'll be worth it.

Edward, are you speeding?

I don't think so.

Well...

Edward, do something.

Here, here, here.

Here's a hundred dollars. Tuck it in
your bra and flirt a little.