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Okay, Mommy and Daddy are going to a
concert tonight, so we're going to be
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late. Remember the rules.
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No rough housing.
4
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You can use the microwave, but not the
oven.
5
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And no going on the Internet pretending
you're 14 -year -old girls.
6
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Stinky.
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What do you think?
8
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Wow.
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They're my rock concert pants.
10
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Great. I always wear these to rock
concerts.
11
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Excellent. I bought them ten years ago
for a Huey Lewis concert, but it still
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fit.
13
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:34,760
They sure do.
14
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,140
You're right. I look like an idiot. I'll
go change.
15
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:43,540
Hello?
16
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,960
Hey, Jane. You getting ready to rock and
roll?
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You're kidding. We've had these tickets
for months.
18
00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:51,380
What's going on?
19
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,060
Team Jane got into a fight and now they
can't go.
20
00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:57,820
It's Aerosmith. They can fight there. No
one will hear them.
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00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,600
What's the fight about?
22
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:02,179
Uh -huh.
23
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,180
The recliner.
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00:01:04,180 --> 00:01:05,180
Melted butter.
25
00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:09,920
Oh, I'm going to have to go with Pete on
that one. An enema is never a nice
26
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:10,920
surprise.
27
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What are they fighting about?
28
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The usual.
29
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Don't worry. We'll find somebody else.
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Bye. Well, got two extra tickets to
Aerosmith. Which lucky friend should we
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call?
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Steve, Greg Montgomery.
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Yeah, yeah, it has been a while. Listen,
Darman and I have a couple of extra
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tickets to see Aerosmith tonight. You
guys want to come?
35
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Oh, well, maybe next time.
36
00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:38,660
Okay, tell Elaine I said hi.
37
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Oh, of course.
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Marilyn.
39
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,660
Sorry. When did he divorce Elaine?
40
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,520
A couple extra tickets to the Aerosmith
concert tonight. Thought maybe you and
41
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,220
the Big Beaver might want to join us.
42
00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:02,260
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the concert's more
than 90 feet away from your house.
43
00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:08,020
Okay, well you just give us a call when
you get that ankle bracelet off.
44
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:11,080
How's the rest? I think...
45
00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:25,950
Want to just call some wrong numbers,
see if we find anybody?
46
00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:29,970
Now I met Jane.
47
00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:35,450
I'm sure no listing under Spider
McNamara.
48
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,810
Okay, how about under Spidey?
49
00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:41,650
How about Spidey Macaroon?
50
00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:46,530
We'll check under his wife's name, Lorna
Dune.
51
00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:50,550
Lorna Dune Macaroon.
52
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Hey, Arnie, Greg Montgomery.
53
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You remember from archery camp.
54
00:03:03,820 --> 00:03:07,920
Well, what do you think? Abby and Larry
would love to see Aerosmith. No, we are
55
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:11,120
grown -ups. We have our own friends. We
don't have to go to a concert with your
56
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,460
parents. Now, think.
57
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,360
Okay, Abby, maybe some other time.
58
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Going up?
59
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:00,780
Thanks, Pete.
60
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:05,460
You coming?
61
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:07,300
Can't. Why not?
62
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,380
Jane put super glue on the button.
63
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,360
Why did she do that?
64
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:14,720
I don't know.
65
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,260
Because she's crazy is why.
66
00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:23,720
Where is she now? I hope she's packing.
I lost her in a card game.
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00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,300
We definitely need new friends.
68
00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:35,760
Now, it was just one concert. Don't
obsess about it.
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00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:37,600
I'm not obsessing, but think about it.
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00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:41,540
Besides Jane and Pete, we have no couple
friends we can go to concerts with or
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dinner or away for the weekend.
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00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:46,260
And what about our kids? If we don't
have couple friends who have kids, who
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our kids going to play with? No one.
They'll grow up to be sad, lonely people
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who talk to themselves and don't take
care of their yards properly.
75
00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:58,380
Honey, we don't have kids. And we
shouldn't until we get our act together.
76
00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:01,560
This is what I mean by obsessing.
77
00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:05,700
You know who could be our friends, Paul
and Sarah Marsh?
78
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,460
Sure, of course.
79
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,520
Do we know a Paul and Sarah Marsh?
80
00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:13,940
He was a lawyer at the Justice
Department. His wife's like a sculptor
81
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:15,700
something, and he always wanted us to
get together.
82
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000
Well, they sound perfect.
83
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,740
How many kids don't they have?
84
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,040
I can't believe you were at the
Aerosmith concert, too.
85
00:05:29,740 --> 00:05:30,740
Fifth row center.
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00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:31,819
Eighth row center.
87
00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:35,080
Were you near that crazy woman who kept
screaming, Turn it down!
88
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,380
Um, yeah, pretty close.
89
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,460
Uh, who's ready for some dessert? Count
me in.
90
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:44,920
Just a minute.
91
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:48,020
So, how did you two meet?
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00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:52,340
Oh, well, do you want to tell it or
should I? Go ahead. Okay, well, I was
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working at this coffee shop down the
street from the Catholic seminary where
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Paul was going. Wait a minute.
95
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,240
You were studying to be a priest?
96
00:05:58,640 --> 00:05:59,640
Uh -huh.
97
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,680
hearing some call from God?
98
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,100
Well, yeah, I suppose.
99
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,620
Okay, so God's calling, you put him on
hold, and you go out with her.
100
00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:11,200
That is the most romantic love story I
have ever heard in my entire life.
101
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:12,899
Isn't it?
102
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,840
Oh, this is so cool.
103
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,620
Okay, now let me ask you a question,
Paul.
104
00:06:17,380 --> 00:06:23,620
How did you know that she was your true
love and not some temptation set up by
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Satan to lure you away from God?
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00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:34,010
traditions, there's always a test of
faith.
107
00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:36,730
So how did you know that she wasn't just
that?
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00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:38,730
I mean, look at her.
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00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:42,910
If Satan were to set a trap, he'd
certainly use a hotsy -totsy piece of
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like Sarah.
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00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:47,330
I'm sorry, what?
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00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:52,390
Oh, come on, you're gorgeous. You could
make an archbishop by a lap dance.
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Forgive me, Lord.
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I have forsaken my true vocation and
yielded to the temptations of the flesh.
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00:07:02,910 --> 00:07:05,910
Grant that I might be your humble
servant once again.
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Amen.
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00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:16,570
Come on. How could I have known?
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He was weeping.
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I just asked a simple question. No, no,
no. A simple question is, seen any good
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00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:23,869
movies lately?
121
00:07:23,870 --> 00:07:27,170
Hot enough for you? Anything except, did
you know your wife was sent by Satan?
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00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:30,420
That is not fair.
123
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:37,160
All I said was, did you ever consider
the possibility that your wife was sent
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Satan?
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00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:41,900
Hey. Hey, Jane.
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00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,860
Can I use your shower? Sure.
127
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:45,920
Jane.
128
00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:49,020
Anything wrong? You look a little blue.
129
00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:53,400
My idiot husband put dye in the shower
head.
130
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,960
Jane, why are you walking around naked?
131
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,020
Because I'm going to take a shower.
132
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,860
You know, what happened to Paul and
Sarah tonight was going to happen
133
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:09,240
eventually. Maybe 20 years from now, in
the meantime, we would have had friends.
134
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,080
A fallen priest and the devil's
handmaiden.
135
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,040
Have you guys seen Jane? No.
136
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,400
No. Okay, sorry to bother you.
137
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,960
Look, whatever happened, happened. But I
think we can agree that Paul and Sarah
138
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,840
are not going to be our new couple
friend. Oh, yeah, I think that's safe to
139
00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:32,490
Maybe it's time we stop digging through
the address book and start going out and
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00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:34,450
meeting new people. And how do you
propose we do that?
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00:08:34,809 --> 00:08:35,809
Well, let's think.
142
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,490
What are we looking for in France?
143
00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:40,870
Are you sure? There's a blue footprint,
Zen, right at your door.
144
00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:43,809
Maybe she backtracked.
145
00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:45,750
Tricky little mix.
146
00:08:49,430 --> 00:08:51,050
Well, we know what we're not looking
for.
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00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,770
Well, nice meeting you.
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00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:56,830
Enjoy your stay in America.
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00:08:58,960 --> 00:08:59,960
Auf Wiedersehen.
150
00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:01,180
Later, Hosen.
151
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,600
Okay, we're 0 for 4.
152
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,120
You want to go back to Ikea? No.
153
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,660
Oh, what about a Volvo dealership?
154
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:13,020
I don't think so.
155
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,240
Nine o 'clock, dockers and a blue
sweater.
156
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,120
Aren't we kind of robbing the cradle?
157
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,520
No.
158
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,880
They'll keep us young and we'll buy them
beer.
159
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,040
Follow my lead.
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00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,240
Do you have a plan?
161
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:34,900
You guys come here often?
162
00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:36,060
We're members.
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00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,200
Members.
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00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,140
You hear that? They're members.
165
00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:46,220
Say something.
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00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:51,720
Your pants are like my pants.
167
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,440
Just walk away.
168
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,300
Your pants are like my pants?
169
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,360
Yeah, but you don't want to eat like a
pig and make a bad first impression.
170
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,360
Okay.
171
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,000
Wait a minute. Is that what you're going
to wear?
172
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:25,800
Yeah.
173
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,020
I can see your belly button.
174
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,120
What are they going to think?
175
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:31,920
I don't know.
176
00:10:32,140 --> 00:10:35,060
That I was fed through an umbilical cord
and I'm out of it?
177
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,220
Um, let's take a sweater.
178
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,000
Hey, you never told me.
179
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,620
How'd you hook up with this couple? Um,
they were, uh, they were recommended.
180
00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:45,580
Recommended? By who?
181
00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:46,930
By whom?
182
00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:49,070
Greg, answer the question.
183
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,450
My mother.
184
00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:55,990
We got picked up by your mom?
185
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:57,910
Like we were doing so well on our own?
186
00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:02,790
Greg, are we that lame?
187
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,450
If we were horses, they would shoot us.
188
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,720
Did you ever think we'd meet another
couple we had that in common with?
189
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,700
You came from catalog, too?
190
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:01,740
I'm sorry, what?
191
00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:03,660
I met Betty through a service.
192
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,820
You mean a dating service?
193
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,280
I think he means more like the postal
service.
194
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:11,920
Got her mail order.
195
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,440
The Russian girls are real popular now,
but you don't want one of those big bone
196
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,800
gals walking on your back.
197
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:24,150
Forgive me? for being judgmental, but
don't you feel exploited by this
198
00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:28,730
arrangement? Oh, no. I don't have to
sleep with him. I just tie him up and
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00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:29,730
him names.
200
00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:33,310
He likes that very much.
201
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:36,110
Ain't that right, stinky boy?
202
00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:40,670
How exactly do you know my mother?
203
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:42,090
I do her nails.
204
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,380
should order? Where the heck's the
waiter?
205
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,820
You want to see good feet?
206
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,640
Show them your feet, sissy man.
207
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,740
Well, that was pretty unpleasant.
208
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,380
Stinky boy did have beautiful feet.
209
00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,080
We should thank your mom.
210
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,500
Maybe buy her some corn pads.
211
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,400
Problem? No, we're all right. I have
triple A.
212
00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:24,799
Use mine.
213
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:25,800
Oh, thanks.
214
00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:28,860
AAA's number four on the speed dial. Not
number one?
215
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:30,460
I went alphabetically.
216
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,020
I considered that.
217
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:34,780
Sweet car.
218
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:35,920
Oh, thanks.
219
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,720
My husband hates her.
220
00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:41,700
Why? Well, he says she stalls out a lot.
Of course, it's only when he's driving.
221
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,280
Think maybe she doesn't like him?
Wouldn't be surprised.
222
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,620
Always talking about trading her in.
223
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:51,180
Well, there you go. Her feelings are
hurt.
224
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,840
Classic grudge stall.
225
00:13:54,030 --> 00:13:55,029
What's her name?
226
00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:59,690
Sally. Of course. Greg, the Mustang's
name is Sally. Isn't that cute?
227
00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:03,730
My wife's idea. I understand. We have a
toaster named Pop -Up Willie.
228
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,030
Greg. Doug. Darman. Cynthia.
229
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:08,770
Doug. Darman. Cynthia.
230
00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:10,010
Greg.
231
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:14,770
and Doug on their machine about dinner
tonight and they never called back.
232
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:18,430
Huh. I didn't get an answer to the email
I sent Doug about playing golf.
233
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:20,110
That's weird.
234
00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:23,870
Not too eager.
235
00:16:28,990 --> 00:16:29,990
Hello?
236
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:32,670
Oh, hi, Cynthia. We were just talking
about Utah.
237
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:33,970
Utah.
238
00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:39,270
Well, we were discussing the states and,
well, we're almost done. Listen, how's
239
00:16:39,270 --> 00:16:40,270
dinner tonight for you guys?
240
00:16:42,570 --> 00:16:44,050
Well, what about tomorrow? I think we're
free tomorrow.
241
00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:47,170
Oh.
242
00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:48,490
Well, what about Sunday?
243
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:50,850
No, I take it back.
244
00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:53,550
Sunday's bad. We are definitely booked
on Sunday.
245
00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:57,130
Unless you're free, then we could
probably shuffle some stuff around.
246
00:17:20,910 --> 00:17:23,369
have been, it's not completely out of
the blue. I mean, you have been coming
247
00:17:23,369 --> 00:17:24,369
pretty strong.
248
00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:27,810
What?
249
00:17:27,890 --> 00:17:31,170
You invited them to meet your parents.
Don't you think it's a little soon for
250
00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:34,910
that? Well, excuse me, but I'm not the
one who used the L word.
251
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:37,510
What?
252
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:40,510
We love you guys.
253
00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:44,990
We love you guys. You said it like 12
times.
254
00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:49,810
I'd had a couple of glasses of wine. It
felt kind of good to say it.
255
00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,220
Now you've scared them off.
256
00:17:56,120 --> 00:18:00,240
We don't know that. They're probably
having a quiet dinner by themselves.
257
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:03,420
Let's find out.
258
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:06,040
Stormy, you can't call somebody up and
ask them that they're dumping you.
259
00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:10,460
Right. But we can go see what they're
doing without us.
260
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:15,220
Oh, you mean stalk them. No, stalking is
what crazy people do. We are not crazy.
261
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,260
We're just going to see if they're
cheating on us.
262
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:23,640
Oh, well, that's reasonable.
263
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:30,750
If we'd taken my car instead of your
father's dumb van, I wouldn't have lost
264
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:35,250
him. They know your car. And what did I
tell you about calling this van D -U -M
265
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,250
-B?
266
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:39,110
Oh, there's the Mustang. Pull over, pull
over.
267
00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:47,590
See him anywhere?
268
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,520
restaurant we took them to.
269
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:56,220
when you stopped smoking those awful
cigars. Needless to say, the car stayed.
270
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:00,780
What a surprise!
271
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,160
Dharma. Cynthia.
272
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,340
Greg. Doug. Doug. Dharma.
273
00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:07,700
What have we here?
274
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:12,780
These are our friends, Richard and
Patricia. Richard and Patricia.
275
00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:29,970
Is that so?
276
00:20:30,970 --> 00:20:31,970
You hear that, Greg?
277
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,150
They're their friends.
278
00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:36,310
Dharma, honey, I think maybe we crossed
some kind of line here.
279
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,750
We thought we had something with you
people.
280
00:20:40,170 --> 00:20:41,510
What is she talking about?
281
00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:45,010
I don't know. I thought I knew, but it
turns out I don't. Dharma, honey, time
282
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,010
go.
283
00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:47,530
Here.
284
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,270
Obviously, this meant nothing to you.
285
00:20:54,730 --> 00:20:58,290
For the record, I love you guys. It's
just a figure of speech.
286
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,560
Bye now.
21815
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