All language subtitles for Dharma & Greg s05e06 Try To Remember This Kind Of September

Where are my pajama bottoms?

On me.

I got cold.

You took my pants off?

You take my pants off all the time.

Yeah, when you're awake.

Hey, um, if you go make some coffee, I
might let you get in your pants.

It's a great day, huh?

Farmer, there's a person out here.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm September.

Hi. Hi.

I'm Grace.

September?

Hi.

Oh,

honey. This is September.

We grew up on the commune together.

Isn't that nice?

So I thought you were going to be here
on Friday.

Oh, well, you know how it goes. I
stopped and talked to some migrant

And before you know it, I was picking
squash and ragging on Al Hefe. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I really should go put some pants
on.

He's not putting on pants because of me.
No, no, no. He's a lawyer. He has to

wear them for work.

Oh.

Hey, honey. Hey.

Something out there smells like
whatever's in here.

September's cooking.

Is she cooking tires?

I heard that.

Oh, this would be an awkward moment if
you hadn't already seen me with my pants

off.

Boy, Dorma, I never thought you'd live
someplace with a microwave, a Cuisinart,

and a lawyer.

Actually, the microwave and the
Cuisinart came with the lawyer. It was a

The astronaut came with boots and a
helmet.

I don't get it.

Honey, we're going to go to Abby and
Larry's for a macrobiotic potluck

September only eats food from the local
ecosystem.

Oh.

Right on.

Everything in this salad was harvested
from within a 10 -mile radius.

Here, try some.

Oh,

that's not bad.

And most of the greens I found growing
right in the cracks in the sidewalks

right in front of your building.

You know, I step on those weeds every
day and never even thought I've eaten

them.

What are the, um, what are the crunchy
things?

You know, I never know what to call
them. Are they pill bugs or are they

-poly?

They're pine nuts, Greg, and you had
that coming. I thought you were allergic

pine nuts.

I am. They're bugs.

Did I just eat bugs?

No, of course not. I'm just kidding.

Oh, my casserole is burning.

What was it doing before?

Is she staying long? Honey, I haven't
seen her in 15 years. The least we could

do is let her make fun of you.

Sure.

What are you doing with all this stuff?

I'm giving it away.

Why? Because my life's gotten too
cluttered.

Everything September owns fits in one
backpack.

Well, she eats weeds.

So, you eat bugs.

No, you know, you gotta be careful, you
know? You stop owning things and they

start owning you. Don't worry, I'm not
gonna give away any of your stuff. I

you can't live without your things.

Hold on, what things can't I live
without?

All of your little electronic buddies.

The TV, your computer, your
electronic...

Shaving cream warmer?

I have a coarse beard. The heat softens
it.

Okay, we should get going, guys, because
once this stuff separates, there's no

getting it back together again.

You know, if you don't mind, maybe I'll
just, you know, stay here and watch some

football. On your best friend, Mr. TV?
Let's not start judging each other's

friends here.

Hey, look what I found.

Oh, doesn't that bring back memories?

Boy, you'd think it would.

Oh, yeah, that was on Halloween when we
dressed up like endangered baby harp

seals. Then we went trick -or -treating
at all the fur stores.

You know, when I worked with Greenpeace,
I wound up living with harp seals.

Oh, wow, really?

Yeah, we had stopped these hunters, but
there was these two baby seals, and they

had imprinted on me, and so I had to
stay until they were weaned.

Wow.

Dermot hand -fed a baby bird that fell
out of a nest once.

It died.

All of that, we're out of tea.

Oh, hey, while I'm up, does anyone want
any dessert? Abby made a flourless

organic carrot cake.

Oh, do we know how far away those
carrots were grown?

No, no, you're right, we don't.

You know what? I'll go see if the crab
apples are ripe.

So did I tell you I ran into Treehouse
Bob from the commune when I was in Costa

Rica? No kidding.

Treehouse Bob McCluskey or Treehouse Bob
Dawson?

Oh, wow, what a shame. Those crab apples
are not ripe.

Oh, we have figs. Oh, good, figs.

Aren't you proud of September, Dharma?

You know, it's so easy to drift away
from her ideals.

She's really stayed the course.

Three hunger strikes in one year.

It's not such a big deal. She's a really
picky eater.

Let me try again.

Dharma, you should have brought your
video camera.

If I had known there was going to be fig
juggling, I would have.

And that's how Fig Newton discovered
gravity.

All right, it's getting late September.

Actually, it's mid -October.

No, this is fun. We should go, because
I'm getting a little tired.

Really? I'm not. I guess I'm still on
Amsterdam time.

You and me both.

You know what, honey? You could just
stay here.

You could use Darm's old room.

Oh, really?

That would be great, if that's okay with
you.

Oh, it's more than okay.

Actually, it was my idea. I was going to
say that before I got hit with the fig.

So I'll just call you, and then we'll
get some coffee in the morning?

Well, only if we wake up in Brazil.

I was so joking.

And then she led us all in a song that
Nelson Mandela taught her.

Nelson Mandela? Really?

I'm sorry, but Nelson Mandela... Oh,
you're right. She's incredible.

Did I tell you she weaned seals?

So, you saved that baby bird.

Sure.

How much... You're every bit as good a
person as September is.

Yeah, I am every bit as good as she is.

I just need to fundamentally change the
way I live.

How?

Well, for example, I know there's this
cave you can live in for five months out

of the year. I don't want to live in a
cave.

What's your suggestion?

Well, if you really want to simplify,
I'm thinking that maybe there was

something to what you were saying about
the television, and maybe it wouldn't be

the worst idea to think about giving it
away.

Go roll it down to the curb, and then
it'll be gone by morning.

I was thinking after the Super Bowl.

What you watching?

Streets of San Francisco.

Hey, I know that bar.

I was in that bar the night you were
born.

Where's Dharma?

She's out pricing beehives.

She wants to turn our electricity off
and make our own candles.

Is this normal for her, or has the
pimento slipped out of the olives?

I think I should say something, or...
Should I just be supportive and let this

play out?

Listen, son.

Sometimes in a marriage, a husband
doesn't have a very clear understanding

what's going on.

Uh -huh.

That's it.

Drink?

I'll teach you something.

Oh, Dharma, beautiful.

I was just out communing with nature,
you know, reconnecting with Mother

You know me.

And I saw these flowers. They were so
beautiful, and I thought of you. Oh,

Dharma.

Honey, these are golden poppies. Oh,
really? Yeah, they're so pretty.

No, we don't pick golden poppies, honey.
They're protected.

Apparently not very well.

You know what?

We'll put them in the compost, and it
can be our gift back to Mother Earth.

Good.

Where's September?

Oh, she's awesome. Where was your
father?

Boy, they have been absolutely
inseparable. She stayed up all night

listening to him sing his Watergate rock
opera.

All five hours?

Yeah.

Oh.

I never made it past, I suppose so, Bebe
Rebozo.

Hey. Hi.

Hi. What you got there?

Oh, some camping stuff for Larry.

Because he's a big baby and he's afraid
of a little rain.

I sleep on my back and I'm a mouth
breather. I could drown.

You guys going camping?

Oh, yeah.

You know that winter solstice trip your
mother and I always take to the desert?

Yeah. Well, I figured I'd have to miss
it this year because of the baby.

But September wants to go.

Oh,

I would have gone with you.

Well, Pumpkin, you can come too.

We'll just have to get another one of
these.

What is that?

I don't know, but we only have two.

Okay, let's try to set this stuff up.

Right. We're going to spend the night in
the backyard and test it out. Don't

bring us any food. We're going to live
off the land.

They're going to sleep together out
there in the backyard in the tent?

I guess so.

And you're fine with that?

What could be the problem?

Oh, my God.

Larry, did you turn off the sprinklers?

There you are.

I was just catching up on some news.

From what I hear, the castaways never
get off the island.

What are you doing here?

You needed to talk and you weren't at
home.

What's wrong?

September has the hots for my dad.

You mean like hot for sex?

Yes, hot. I'm sharing a pup tent.

I don't know that expression.

Small tent used for camping and they're
sharing it tonight.

In the backyard.

That doesn't mean that they're having
sex. That just means that they're really

weird.

Gregory, Celia has informed me we don't
own TV trays. However, if you would

like, we can take a tray from the tea
service and put it on a luggage stand.

Never mind, Mother. Can you give us a
minute?

Oh, all right.

Honey, I'm telling you, my friend is
trying to seduce my father.

He gives him massages, he braided his
ponytail, and then when he talks... She

gets this lovesick, dreamy look in her
eyes.

I'm sorry. This is Larry that we're
speaking of?

Sarma, September hasn't seen your
parents in a long time. They're kindred

spirits. She obviously likes your dad,
but not in that way.

Oh, I don't know. I think Dom is right
to be suspicious.

Mother. Gregory, you do not see what I
see.

Come to a country club luncheon, count
the number of men there with women one

-third their age. It is a national
epidemic, and you cannot raise money to

it.

You're not helping, Mother.

It is everywhere, Gregory, for heaven's
sake. Look, look, the gentleman with the

ascot being tempted by that young tart,
wearing a sequined cocktail dress in the

middle of the day.

That's all she brought on the boat.

Kitty, what do you think I should do?

Oh? I could give you the name of a
private detective that I have used from

to time. He's very discreet.

Mother, she doesn't need to hire a
private detective.

Yeah. It's not like I don't know what
they're doing. Oh, darling, you don't

what they're doing.

What is he talking about?

The woman has a trunk full of clothes.

Wow, it sure is warm on our camping trip
in the desert.

Not for long.

Am I interrupting something?

Oh, no. We're just playing with our
pants.

I should put the goat in the pen if
we're going to be sleeping in the

Yeah, I'll be right out.

Yeah, I wouldn't want that goat to ruin
your little camp out.

No, no, we wouldn't. Because three's a
crowd, right?

Yeah, I guess.

I mean, when one of them's a goat.

Okay, I'm not good at being all, ah, and
woo, so I'm just going to say it.

Are you sleeping with Larry?

What?

No. How could you even think that? The
massages, the camping, the detachable

pants. And I love my father, but no one
sits through his whole Watergate opera.

Okay. I guess I could see how you
thought that.

No. No, Dharma.

Okay.

Here's the deal.

I've never known who my father was. And
I didn't really care.

But when my mom died, it felt really
weird being all alone. So I went through

her letters and stuff, and I narrowed it
down to five guys that she might have

had a relationship with.

Do you think Larry might be your father?

Maybe.

Wow!

But the thing is, is I didn't want to
disrupt anybody's life, so I just, I

figured I would hang out with each one
of them, and that way I'd know that

somewhere in there, I spent time with my
dad.

Okay!

The tent is up!

No, no, false alarm!

He's such a goofball.

I know.

Oh, I should have told you before.

Okay. Oh, damn.

I'm going to go give him a hand. Okay.

Okay.

The Dow Industrial is down about 12 and
a half.

Well, you're right. They're not having
an affair.

Well, I'm not going to say I told you
so, but I am going to make the face.

That must have been in there for months.

You know, she was acting really weird
because she thinks Larry might be her

father.

Could he be?

No. Look, I went through Abby's picture
drawer and I found this. It's their

first day on the commune, right?

There's Abby holding me. There's Larry.

With hair.

No, he was combing it over. It was a
swoop -doo.

And that's September's mom.

She's already pregnant, and that's the
day she met Larry.

Did you show her this?

Oh, not yet.

She and Larry are having a sleepover. It
seemed like the right time.

And I got to say, you kind of lucked out
here.

What do you mean?

Well, this way you won't have to spend
the rest of your life, you know,

competing with a perfect sister who's
out to save the world, and we can have a

TV again.

You didn't give away the TV to compete
with her. Yes, you did.

Well, obviously, but don't make the
face. Let me out.

Thurma? Hi.

Hey.

You didn't say goodbye.

Are we okay?

Oh, yeah. No, yeah, no, no, no, no.
We're fine.

Well, listen, I'm going to split
tonight.

Why?

I didn't want to screw up anybody's
family, and I kind of feel that I am.

you're not.

No, I am.

I just was having so much fun with
Larry.

Listen. And he was the last guy on my
list, and he's the only guy I really

I hope he's my dad.

I hope he

is, too.

So I'll see you in a couple months,
right?

Really? What for?

For the camping trip.

Larry always gets us lost in the middle
of the desert. You're the only one who

knows how to make a meal out of twigs
and dirt.

So where are you off to?

Oh, Martin Sheen is going to chain
himself to something this weekend, so

going to help out.

Bye.

Hey, there weren't really bugs in the
salad, were there?

Who would put bugs in a salad?

You did a very nice thing there.

Yeah.

You want to go get yourself a new TV,
don't you? Oh, yeah.

Do you want to talk?

No, no, go.