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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,480 Okay, Mommy and Daddy are going to a concert tonight, so we're going to be 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:04,840 late. Remember the rules. 3 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,320 No rough housing. 4 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,940 You can use the microwave, but not the oven. 5 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,240 And no going on the Internet pretending you're 14 -year -old girls. 6 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:14,700 Stinky. 7 00:00:18,940 --> 00:00:19,940 What do you think? 8 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,620 Wow. 9 00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:24,000 They're my rock concert pants. 10 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,200 Great. I always wear these to rock concerts. 11 00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:31,540 Excellent. I bought them ten years ago for a Huey Lewis concert, but it still 12 00:00:31,540 --> 00:00:32,540 fit. 13 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:34,760 They sure do. 14 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,140 You're right. I look like an idiot. I'll go change. 15 00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:43,540 Hello? 16 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,960 Hey, Jane. You getting ready to rock and roll? 17 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,940 You're kidding. We've had these tickets for months. 18 00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:51,380 What's going on? 19 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,060 Team Jane got into a fight and now they can't go. 20 00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:57,820 It's Aerosmith. They can fight there. No one will hear them. 21 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,600 What's the fight about? 22 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:02,179 Uh -huh. 23 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,180 The recliner. 24 00:01:04,180 --> 00:01:05,180 Melted butter. 25 00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:09,920 Oh, I'm going to have to go with Pete on that one. An enema is never a nice 26 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:10,920 surprise. 27 00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:16,200 What are they fighting about? 28 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:17,680 The usual. 29 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,280 Don't worry. We'll find somebody else. 30 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,920 Bye. Well, got two extra tickets to Aerosmith. Which lucky friend should we 31 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,920 call? 32 00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:29,420 Steve, Greg Montgomery. 33 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,840 Yeah, yeah, it has been a while. Listen, Darman and I have a couple of extra 34 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,640 tickets to see Aerosmith tonight. You guys want to come? 35 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,160 Oh, well, maybe next time. 36 00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:38,660 Okay, tell Elaine I said hi. 37 00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:40,960 Oh, of course. 38 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:42,500 Marilyn. 39 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,660 Sorry. When did he divorce Elaine? 40 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,520 A couple extra tickets to the Aerosmith concert tonight. Thought maybe you and 41 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,220 the Big Beaver might want to join us. 42 00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:02,260 Yeah, I'm pretty sure the concert's more than 90 feet away from your house. 43 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:08,020 Okay, well you just give us a call when you get that ankle bracelet off. 44 00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:11,080 How's the rest? I think... 45 00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:25,950 Want to just call some wrong numbers, see if we find anybody? 46 00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:29,970 Now I met Jane. 47 00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:35,450 I'm sure no listing under Spider McNamara. 48 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,810 Okay, how about under Spidey? 49 00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:41,650 How about Spidey Macaroon? 50 00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:46,530 We'll check under his wife's name, Lorna Dune. 51 00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:50,550 Lorna Dune Macaroon. 52 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:55,380 Hey, Arnie, Greg Montgomery. 53 00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,820 You remember from archery camp. 54 00:03:03,820 --> 00:03:07,920 Well, what do you think? Abby and Larry would love to see Aerosmith. No, we are 55 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:11,120 grown -ups. We have our own friends. We don't have to go to a concert with your 56 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,460 parents. Now, think. 57 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,360 Okay, Abby, maybe some other time. 58 00:03:59,020 --> 00:03:59,779 Going up? 59 00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:00,780 Thanks, Pete. 60 00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:05,460 You coming? 61 00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:07,300 Can't. Why not? 62 00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,380 Jane put super glue on the button. 63 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,360 Why did she do that? 64 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:14,720 I don't know. 65 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,260 Because she's crazy is why. 66 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:23,720 Where is she now? I hope she's packing. I lost her in a card game. 67 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,300 We definitely need new friends. 68 00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:35,760 Now, it was just one concert. Don't obsess about it. 69 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:37,600 I'm not obsessing, but think about it. 70 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:41,540 Besides Jane and Pete, we have no couple friends we can go to concerts with or 71 00:04:41,540 --> 00:04:42,900 dinner or away for the weekend. 72 00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:46,260 And what about our kids? If we don't have couple friends who have kids, who 73 00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:49,180 our kids going to play with? No one. They'll grow up to be sad, lonely people 74 00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:51,600 who talk to themselves and don't take care of their yards properly. 75 00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:58,380 Honey, we don't have kids. And we shouldn't until we get our act together. 76 00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:01,560 This is what I mean by obsessing. 77 00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:05,700 You know who could be our friends, Paul and Sarah Marsh? 78 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,460 Sure, of course. 79 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,520 Do we know a Paul and Sarah Marsh? 80 00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:13,940 He was a lawyer at the Justice Department. His wife's like a sculptor 81 00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:15,700 something, and he always wanted us to get together. 82 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000 Well, they sound perfect. 83 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,740 How many kids don't they have? 84 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,040 I can't believe you were at the Aerosmith concert, too. 85 00:05:29,740 --> 00:05:30,740 Fifth row center. 86 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:31,819 Eighth row center. 87 00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:35,080 Were you near that crazy woman who kept screaming, Turn it down! 88 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,380 Um, yeah, pretty close. 89 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,460 Uh, who's ready for some dessert? Count me in. 90 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:44,920 Just a minute. 91 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:48,020 So, how did you two meet? 92 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:52,340 Oh, well, do you want to tell it or should I? Go ahead. Okay, well, I was 93 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:55,080 working at this coffee shop down the street from the Catholic seminary where 94 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,140 Paul was going. Wait a minute. 95 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,240 You were studying to be a priest? 96 00:05:58,640 --> 00:05:59,640 Uh -huh. 97 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,680 hearing some call from God? 98 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,100 Well, yeah, I suppose. 99 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,620 Okay, so God's calling, you put him on hold, and you go out with her. 100 00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:11,200 That is the most romantic love story I have ever heard in my entire life. 101 00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:12,899 Isn't it? 102 00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,840 Oh, this is so cool. 103 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,620 Okay, now let me ask you a question, Paul. 104 00:06:17,380 --> 00:06:23,620 How did you know that she was your true love and not some temptation set up by 105 00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,360 Satan to lure you away from God? 106 00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:34,010 traditions, there's always a test of faith. 107 00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:36,730 So how did you know that she wasn't just that? 108 00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:38,730 I mean, look at her. 109 00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:42,910 If Satan were to set a trap, he'd certainly use a hotsy -totsy piece of 110 00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:43,910 like Sarah. 111 00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:47,330 I'm sorry, what? 112 00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:52,390 Oh, come on, you're gorgeous. You could make an archbishop by a lap dance. 113 00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:57,830 Forgive me, Lord. 114 00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:01,890 I have forsaken my true vocation and yielded to the temptations of the flesh. 115 00:07:02,910 --> 00:07:05,910 Grant that I might be your humble servant once again. 116 00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:11,750 Amen. 117 00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:16,570 Come on. How could I have known? 118 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:18,310 He was weeping. 119 00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:23,030 I just asked a simple question. No, no, no. A simple question is, seen any good 120 00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:23,869 movies lately? 121 00:07:23,870 --> 00:07:27,170 Hot enough for you? Anything except, did you know your wife was sent by Satan? 122 00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:30,420 That is not fair. 123 00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:37,160 All I said was, did you ever consider the possibility that your wife was sent 124 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,160 Satan? 125 00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:41,900 Hey. Hey, Jane. 126 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,860 Can I use your shower? Sure. 127 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:45,920 Jane. 128 00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:49,020 Anything wrong? You look a little blue. 129 00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:53,400 My idiot husband put dye in the shower head. 130 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,960 Jane, why are you walking around naked? 131 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,020 Because I'm going to take a shower. 132 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,860 You know, what happened to Paul and Sarah tonight was going to happen 133 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:09,240 eventually. Maybe 20 years from now, in the meantime, we would have had friends. 134 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,080 A fallen priest and the devil's handmaiden. 135 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,040 Have you guys seen Jane? No. 136 00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,400 No. Okay, sorry to bother you. 137 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,960 Look, whatever happened, happened. But I think we can agree that Paul and Sarah 138 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,840 are not going to be our new couple friend. Oh, yeah, I think that's safe to 139 00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:32,490 Maybe it's time we stop digging through the address book and start going out and 140 00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:34,450 meeting new people. And how do you propose we do that? 141 00:08:34,809 --> 00:08:35,809 Well, let's think. 142 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,490 What are we looking for in France? 143 00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:40,870 Are you sure? There's a blue footprint, Zen, right at your door. 144 00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:43,809 Maybe she backtracked. 145 00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:45,750 Tricky little mix. 146 00:08:49,430 --> 00:08:51,050 Well, we know what we're not looking for. 147 00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,770 Well, nice meeting you. 148 00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:56,830 Enjoy your stay in America. 149 00:08:58,960 --> 00:08:59,960 Auf Wiedersehen. 150 00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:01,180 Later, Hosen. 151 00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,600 Okay, we're 0 for 4. 152 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,120 You want to go back to Ikea? No. 153 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,660 Oh, what about a Volvo dealership? 154 00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:13,020 I don't think so. 155 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,240 Nine o 'clock, dockers and a blue sweater. 156 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,120 Aren't we kind of robbing the cradle? 157 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,520 No. 158 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,880 They'll keep us young and we'll buy them beer. 159 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,040 Follow my lead. 160 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,240 Do you have a plan? 161 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:34,900 You guys come here often? 162 00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:36,060 We're members. 163 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,200 Members. 164 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,140 You hear that? They're members. 165 00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:46,220 Say something. 166 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:51,720 Your pants are like my pants. 167 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,440 Just walk away. 168 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,300 Your pants are like my pants? 169 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,360 Yeah, but you don't want to eat like a pig and make a bad first impression. 170 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,360 Okay. 171 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,000 Wait a minute. Is that what you're going to wear? 172 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:25,800 Yeah. 173 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,020 I can see your belly button. 174 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,120 What are they going to think? 175 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:31,920 I don't know. 176 00:10:32,140 --> 00:10:35,060 That I was fed through an umbilical cord and I'm out of it? 177 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,220 Um, let's take a sweater. 178 00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,000 Hey, you never told me. 179 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,620 How'd you hook up with this couple? Um, they were, uh, they were recommended. 180 00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:45,580 Recommended? By who? 181 00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:46,930 By whom? 182 00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:49,070 Greg, answer the question. 183 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,450 My mother. 184 00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:55,990 We got picked up by your mom? 185 00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:57,910 Like we were doing so well on our own? 186 00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:02,790 Greg, are we that lame? 187 00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,450 If we were horses, they would shoot us. 188 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,720 Did you ever think we'd meet another couple we had that in common with? 189 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,700 You came from catalog, too? 190 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:01,740 I'm sorry, what? 191 00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:03,660 I met Betty through a service. 192 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,820 You mean a dating service? 193 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,280 I think he means more like the postal service. 194 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:11,920 Got her mail order. 195 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,440 The Russian girls are real popular now, but you don't want one of those big bone 196 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,800 gals walking on your back. 197 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:24,150 Forgive me? for being judgmental, but don't you feel exploited by this 198 00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:28,730 arrangement? Oh, no. I don't have to sleep with him. I just tie him up and 199 00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:29,730 him names. 200 00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:33,310 He likes that very much. 201 00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:36,110 Ain't that right, stinky boy? 202 00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:40,670 How exactly do you know my mother? 203 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:42,090 I do her nails. 204 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,380 should order? Where the heck's the waiter? 205 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,820 You want to see good feet? 206 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,640 Show them your feet, sissy man. 207 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,740 Well, that was pretty unpleasant. 208 00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,380 Stinky boy did have beautiful feet. 209 00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,080 We should thank your mom. 210 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,500 Maybe buy her some corn pads. 211 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,400 Problem? No, we're all right. I have triple A. 212 00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:24,799 Use mine. 213 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:25,800 Oh, thanks. 214 00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:28,860 AAA's number four on the speed dial. Not number one? 215 00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:30,460 I went alphabetically. 216 00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,020 I considered that. 217 00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:34,780 Sweet car. 218 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:35,920 Oh, thanks. 219 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,720 My husband hates her. 220 00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:41,700 Why? Well, he says she stalls out a lot. Of course, it's only when he's driving. 221 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,280 Think maybe she doesn't like him? Wouldn't be surprised. 222 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,620 Always talking about trading her in. 223 00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:51,180 Well, there you go. Her feelings are hurt. 224 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,840 Classic grudge stall. 225 00:13:54,030 --> 00:13:55,029 What's her name? 226 00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:59,690 Sally. Of course. Greg, the Mustang's name is Sally. Isn't that cute? 227 00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:03,730 My wife's idea. I understand. We have a toaster named Pop -Up Willie. 228 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,030 Greg. Doug. Darman. Cynthia. 229 00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:08,770 Doug. Darman. Cynthia. 230 00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:10,010 Greg. 231 00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:14,770 and Doug on their machine about dinner tonight and they never called back. 232 00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:18,430 Huh. I didn't get an answer to the email I sent Doug about playing golf. 233 00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:20,110 That's weird. 234 00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:23,870 Not too eager. 235 00:16:28,990 --> 00:16:29,990 Hello? 236 00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:32,670 Oh, hi, Cynthia. We were just talking about Utah. 237 00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:33,970 Utah. 238 00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:39,270 Well, we were discussing the states and, well, we're almost done. Listen, how's 239 00:16:39,270 --> 00:16:40,270 dinner tonight for you guys? 240 00:16:42,570 --> 00:16:44,050 Well, what about tomorrow? I think we're free tomorrow. 241 00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:47,170 Oh. 242 00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:48,490 Well, what about Sunday? 243 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:50,850 No, I take it back. 244 00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:53,550 Sunday's bad. We are definitely booked on Sunday. 245 00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:57,130 Unless you're free, then we could probably shuffle some stuff around. 246 00:17:20,910 --> 00:17:23,369 have been, it's not completely out of the blue. I mean, you have been coming 247 00:17:23,369 --> 00:17:24,369 pretty strong. 248 00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:27,810 What? 249 00:17:27,890 --> 00:17:31,170 You invited them to meet your parents. Don't you think it's a little soon for 250 00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:34,910 that? Well, excuse me, but I'm not the one who used the L word. 251 00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:37,510 What? 252 00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:40,510 We love you guys. 253 00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:44,990 We love you guys. You said it like 12 times. 254 00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:49,810 I'd had a couple of glasses of wine. It felt kind of good to say it. 255 00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,220 Now you've scared them off. 256 00:17:56,120 --> 00:18:00,240 We don't know that. They're probably having a quiet dinner by themselves. 257 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:03,420 Let's find out. 258 00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:06,040 Stormy, you can't call somebody up and ask them that they're dumping you. 259 00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:10,460 Right. But we can go see what they're doing without us. 260 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:15,220 Oh, you mean stalk them. No, stalking is what crazy people do. We are not crazy. 261 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,260 We're just going to see if they're cheating on us. 262 00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:23,640 Oh, well, that's reasonable. 263 00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:30,750 If we'd taken my car instead of your father's dumb van, I wouldn't have lost 264 00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:35,250 him. They know your car. And what did I tell you about calling this van D -U -M 265 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,250 -B? 266 00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:39,110 Oh, there's the Mustang. Pull over, pull over. 267 00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:47,590 See him anywhere? 268 00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,520 restaurant we took them to. 269 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:56,220 when you stopped smoking those awful cigars. Needless to say, the car stayed. 270 00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:00,780 What a surprise! 271 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,160 Dharma. Cynthia. 272 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,340 Greg. Doug. Doug. Dharma. 273 00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:07,700 What have we here? 274 00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:12,780 These are our friends, Richard and Patricia. Richard and Patricia. 275 00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:29,970 Is that so? 276 00:20:30,970 --> 00:20:31,970 You hear that, Greg? 277 00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,150 They're their friends. 278 00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:36,310 Dharma, honey, I think maybe we crossed some kind of line here. 279 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,750 We thought we had something with you people. 280 00:20:40,170 --> 00:20:41,510 What is she talking about? 281 00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:45,010 I don't know. I thought I knew, but it turns out I don't. Dharma, honey, time 282 00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,010 go. 283 00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:47,530 Here. 284 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,270 Obviously, this meant nothing to you. 285 00:20:54,730 --> 00:20:58,290 For the record, I love you guys. It's just a figure of speech. 286 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,560 Bye now. 20567