Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with a smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all

seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can have a town, why don't you take it?

You're going to make it after all.

I'm upset.

Outraged and angered. Oh, well, what happened, Ted?

Didn't you like your prize and your Froot Loops?

No, that was fine.

What's in this paper?

Read it, Mary. It'll make you sick.

New York news personality Gordon Howard, the former WJM weatherman, arrived last

night for a visit in the Twin Cities.

Hey! How about that? Gordy's back. That's great.

Wait, wait. You didn't hear the rest.

In an airport interview, Howard confirmed the signing of a contract to

network morning show, as well as four primetime specials at a reported salary

$250 ,000 a year.

See? I told you it'd make you sick.

That son of a gun. I always knew he had talent. I knew it when I hired him as

weatherman. There was just something about the way he handled his pointer.

Oh, yeah. Well, I saw it, too.

I mean, remember when I used him as co -anchorman with Ted?

You know, that was the first time Gordy ever did the news. Oh, yeah. Well, I

hate to take credit for someone's success, but once he was crossing the

and I didn't hit him with my car.

You're right. We're being silly.

The only one responsible for Gordy's success is Gordy himself, and he made it

through talent, perseverance, and... Uh, Gordy! Hey, congratulations. We just

read the good news.

Yeah? Oh, sure, come on down.

Sure, hurry up.

He's up there at the station owner's office. He's coming right down.

Listen to this. The morning show will feature candid conversations with major

celebrities. Production will begin as soon as the network selects a suitable

-host. Co -host?

Co -host.

So, my dear, sweet, intimate friend needs a co -host.

Aw, Ted.

You know what he's going to do, don't you? He's going to embarrass all of us.

No, he's not.

And I'm going to make sure he doesn't. Ted?

A co -host. He's going to have to pick a co -host.

Ted, will you listen to me?

Ted! The minute Gordy walks in here, I don't want you to fawn, beg, or toady

that co -host job.

Okay, Lou.

Can I grovel?

I mean it, Ted. Don't be ridiculous, Lou.

When I meet Gordy, it's going to be one professional meeting another.

Hey, anybody here seen my pointer?

Great news, Ted. How are you, man?

I wonder

why

Gordy wanted to have lunch here.

I mean, we could have gone to Antoine's. Mary, Gordy's a simple guy, and I'm

sure he likes things easy and relaxed.

I'm sure it makes him quite uncomfortable to have people make a big

him. Do you understand?

Mr. Grant, are you implying that I'm making Gordy feel uncomfortable?

Well, I don't know about Gordy, but you're sure making me uncomfortable.

I mean, panting and gushing over him the way he talks about meeting all those

celebrities. I didn't pant and gush.

Oh?

You actually had lunch with Charles Nelson Riley?

little more blase.

Thank you.

This is the commissary. Yeah.

You remember the commissary, don't you, Gordo? Oh, yeah. Or as we call it,

cramped city.

Is everything just as you remember it?

Everything.

Say, Gordo, speaking of remembering, do you remember when we did the news

together? I mean, as a team?

Yeah, sure, Ted.

Did it give you any ideas?

Ideas? Ted, aren't you supposed to meet Georgette for lunch today?

Well, that was over an hour ago. She's probably finished by now.

Georgette, you got yourself a new girlfriend, huh? Oh, hey, that's right.

don't know. Ted got married last year.

Well, Ted got married. Somebody finally chopped a silver fox.

Yep, and they have a little baby girl, and they adopted a 12 -year -old boy. A

12 -year -old boy. How about that?

A great kid, too.

Yeah, I sure would like to meet him sometime, Ted. You would? Wait here or

him out of school.

Perky?

No, Ted's all right.

Oh, thanks.

So, Gordy, tell us all about the people that you... the,

uh, people you've met.

Mary, I can't believe it.

The money they're paying me to interview celebrities on television.

You know, last week I interviewed Barbara Streisand. Huh?

Barbara... Streisand. Yeah.

And the week before that, Sir Lawrence Olivier.

The English fellow.

Yeah, but I really couldn't believe it when I found myself two weeks ago

on a mountaintop in Utah shooting the breeze with Robert Redford. Huh?

Robert Redford.

Good little actor.

He's really a simple guy. Likes skiing in the outdoors.

You two would probably hit it off pretty good.

Well, I certainly wouldn't be averse to meeting Redford if the situation ever

aroused.

Arose?

the idea of meeting all those celebrities.

Yeah, well, who isn't?

I mean, on the outside, I'm Mr. Cool, but on the inside, I'm jumping up and

and saying, hey, man, you are Willie Mays.

You actually meant Willie Mays.

Well,

you guys are beautiful.

I sure am glad I had time to stop by and see you.

Hey, I got a great idea. Why don't we make a little party for Gordy tonight?

Hey, terrific.

Yeah, I don't know, Lou. I've been invited out by the station owner, and I

know if I can get out of it. Bring him along.

The more the merrier.

Okay, I'll see if I can swing it. Great.

Excuse me, Mr. Howard.

I'm Janet Downing from WJM Publicity. Yeah. There's some reporters and

photographers downstairs. I wonder if you'd mind talking to them for a little

while. Boy, that's the way it's been ever since I got this job.

Photo sessions, articles, interviews.

Boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Do you want me to tell them you're not here? Are you crazy?

So what time should I be there?

Be where?

It's your place for the party.

Mr. Grant, I'm not going to give the party tonight.

Sure you will.

No, I won't.

Mr. Grant, I have a thousand things to do.

I've got to prepare the budget report for tomorrow morning.

I've got letters to write. I have to do my tax return. Okay, okay. I'll have the

party at my place. Good.

What time shall I be there?

Hey, where's Gordo?

He's out there.

Too bad. I wanted him to meet my adopted son.

That's not your son.

If I get that job, he will be.

Jack.

There's a party tonight. Can you come?

Oh, sure. What time, ma 'am?

Don't ask me, Murr. It's at Mr. Grant's house.

Right. 8 .30. Special occasion.

Oh, terrific, Lou. Terrific.

Special occasion, huh? Like maybe a surprise going -away party for a local

anchorman soon to be skying to Gotham? Oh, Ted.

We face back. Don't you think that if Gordy were going to ask you to be his co

-host, he would have asked you by now?

Yeah, you're right.

I'd better ask him.

Ted, don't.

do that.

Why, Mary, they're going to need a co -host. It could very easily be me.

And in this business, it's not how good you are that gets you hired, it's who

you know.

Now I know someone. God bless him, I know Gordy.

Hey, we're on for a night, Lou.

Okay, great.

Say 30 my place. Gordo, I've got to talk to you for a minute, Lou. I'll need

your office. Look, Gordo, Lou, when I make it, you'll know me.

In here, Gordo.

What's happening?

Be gentle.

Yeah, you want to see me?

Sit down, girl.

Sure.

What do you want to talk about?

Well, I just wondered if there was any favor I could do for you while you're in

town.

Well, thanks, Ted, but I don't need any favors done now.

Well, that's all I was going to say.

Okay.

Oh, by the way, there is maybe one little thing you could do for me. Name

Could you give me that co -host job on your show?

Gordo, believe me, I'm great.

I can talk way deeper than this.

Good evening, this is Ted Baxter with the news. Oh, Ted, don't do this. You

really put me in a rough spot.

All I'm asking you to do is recommend me, Gordo. Tell them how great I am.

not as if I were asking you to lie.

Gordo, believe me, we'll be a great team.

Me, a white Anglo -Saxon Protestant, and you, a black Anglo -Saxon Protestant?

Ted, I'm sorry.

I know how much this job means to you, but I just can't recommend you for it.

Why not?

Of course I can't.

I want to know why.

Well, I'm entitled to know the reason. I mean, you owe me that.

I want the truth. I mean, what is it?

You think I'm not good enough?

Oh, Ted.

No, no, no. Come on.

If that's the reason, I want to know.

I mean, is that what you think, that I'm not good enough?

I mean, go ahead, say it if it's true.

Don't worry, I'm man enough to take it.

Okay, Ted, maybe that's the reason. Maybe I don't think you're good enough.

Boy, he really took that rough.

If only you hadn't asked me why I couldn't recommend him. What'd you say?

I told him I didn't think he was good enough.

And he bought it?

Lou, I'll see you at your place tonight, huh? All right, take care.

Murray? See you, Corey.

Boo, you didn't replace me yet, did you?

No, Ted, the job's still yours.

Oh, thanks.

You know what Gordy said to me?

What, Ted?

None of your business.

Anyway, that clown doesn't know what he's talking about.

Third -rate opportunist made it on pure luck.

Well, Ted, if that's the way you feel, maybe you shouldn't go to the party

tonight.

miss it.

I didn't get a chance to tell that guy what I really think of him. Oh, I can't

wait. Believe me, sparks are going to fly tonight.

Why are you smiling?

Well, I just, I can't help it, Mr. Grant. There's a party tonight.

Two of the guests are ready to tear into each other.

The tension's mounting.

Sounds like one of my typical parties.

But it's not to yours.

It's open.

Hi. Thought I'd come by early and see if you need any help.

Oh, that's okay, Mary. Sit down, have a drink.

Mr. Grant, this place is not ready for a party.

Why? Why not?

You're kidding, aren't you?

What's wrong with the way the place is?

The place looks like a dump, Mr. Grant.

Hey, that's not nice.

You come into somebody's house and say it looks like a dump?

What do you think, I don't have any feelings?

This is my home.

Mr. Grant, in a few minutes, Gordy is going to be walking through that door

Mr. and Mrs.

Cobb, who happen to own the station where you and I work. And you don't have

hangers?

Just throw your coat on the bed.

That's not so unusual.

I've been to a lot of elegant parties where the hostess says, just throw your

coats on the bed.

Do you think you could make your bed first?

What for? They're only going to throw coats on it.

Well, Mary, maybe there is something in what you say.

Mrs. Cobb is sort of a fussy broad.

Come on, Mary, can't you just help a little?

are amazing.

You know that I am actually feeling a twinge of guilt.

And all I did was walk through that door as a guest.

No.

Clean it up yourself.

Well, I thought I had until you walked in here.

I guess maybe I had better tidy up a little more.

Aren't you even going to help me?

I'm not going to lift a finger.

Okay. Do what you want. Everybody will think you helped me anyway.

Just remember, don't make it like your place. Make it real.

Mr. Grant, your debts are going to be here any minute. Have you checked to

sure you have enough ice, soda, glasses?

I've got enough ice. I've got enough soda. I've got enough glasses.

I see only four glasses here.

Well, they can take turns.

All right, all right. I'll go in the kitchen, get some more glasses.

While you're at it, you better get me a vacuum cleaner.

Or a shovel.

Lou, this drink has really got a very interesting taste.

Vodka and something else I can't quite put my finger on. What is it? It's

boysenberry.

My favorite.

Well, frankly, it doesn't taste like boysenberry to me.

Yours is peanut butter.

Hi, Mary.

How's it going?

Pretty good for a first party.

Let me take your coat, honey.

Thanks, Dan.

Here, just put them in the bedroom.

Listen, Ted, I don't want you to make any trouble with Gordy tonight. Oh,

nothing to worry about, Lou.

I thought it all over and I realized I was being childish about the whole

In fact, I'm going over now to wish him luck.

Good.

Oh, Mr. Cobb, Mrs. Cobb.

Good evening, Ted.

You know, we were just talking.

Who would have thought when you were doing the news with Gordy?

that he would be the one to become a huge success, huh?

Well, I just came over to wish you well in New York, Arnold.

Hey, Ted, that's real nice of you. Thanks.

Well, best of luck.

Or as they say in showbiz, break a leg.

And an arm and a neck and a spine.

Well, am I behaving myself?

Yes, you are.

Aren't you going to introduce me to Gordy? Oh, all right.

me meet my wife, Georgette.

Georgette? How do you do? A woman I'd much rather have than $250 ,000 a year.

Wouldn't you?

Yeah, Ted, yeah.

Want to trade?

I'm sorry.

Just testing Gordo. I mean, good job's coming to go. I mean, you're hot one

minute and you're down the next.

But I'll always have this fine woman here.

I know how you feel, Ted. I got a wife myself.

You're a lucky man.

Oh, you've got a wife, too?

Yeah. Oh, I've got kids. I've got two kids.

I've got children myself.

How many?

It doesn't matter. How many?

Three.

Do you have a match?

Yeah, I think I do. Well, I've got a gold lighter.

Tell us, Gordo.

Tell us lowly creatures what it's like to be living on the top.

It's no different from your life, Ted.

Nothing special, no big deal.

Oh, well, I don't think you got your job the same way I got mine. I mean, we all

know how those jobs are gotten.

Right,

boss?

You know, Ted, when I told you before that my life is the same as yours, I was

lying. It's better.

Want to hear the terms of my contract, Ted? No, no, no.

That's right, Ted.

You know I get to work every day?

Chauffeured limo. Chauffeured limo, Ted.

That's right.

And my picture hangs right next to Walter Cronkite.

Oh, and about the clothes, Ted.

You know we got to tie in with the clothing store. That's right, Ted.

Free clothes.

All my clothes are free.

I'm sorry.

He had it coming.

You sure told him, honey.

Come on in, Ted.

Sit down.

Thanks for having us over, Mary.

I think Ted's feeling better already.

My life is over.

Ted.

You're doing...

Very well.

You make a good living.

You're a celebrity.

You've won some awards.

Six.

Four.

Four for news, two for bowling.

A lot of good it's done me, though.

Ted, I think I know what you're going through.

No, you don't. No one ever knows what you're going through, and they say they

know what you're going through.

I say it all the time. I haven't got a clue.

you just let me take a shot at it.

I think you had a dream.

You dreamed that you started from nowhere and you made it all the way to

top.

Became rich, successful in every way, loved.

And recently you've begun to become aware the time is slipping away and your

life has turned out a little differently from the dream.

In fact, compared to the dream, you think your life isn't all that terrific.

And it's begun to bother you.

It's amazing, Mary. How did you know that was my problem?

Ted, that's everybody's problem.

I had a dream once.

I dreamed of becoming a ballerina.

Took so many classes. I practiced so hard in the hopes that one day I'd dance

with the finest ballet company.

and I'd win the cheers of audiences all over the world.

So you wanted to be a world -famous dancer, and you wound up as a producer

local news show.

That's right.

Boy, you really blew it.

I mean, compared to you, I mean, how great. At least I'm an anchorman

That's right, Ted, you are.

But you're not a dancer anywhere.

Well, no, I'm not.

Boy, you must feel rotten.

Well, no.

I mean, it must really eat you up.

I mean, every day you have to say to yourself, I'm not a ballerina and I

will be.

No, I don't say that every day.

Oh, you poor kid.

Say. Sure, Ted, all of a sudden I feel a lot better about myself.

That's great, Ted.

And I'm not even mad at Gordy anymore. I guess I never was.

I was mad at life.

Because I thought it let me down, but it didn't let me down. It let Mary down.

Ted, I think we'd better be going. The sitter's waiting.

All right, let's go.

Thanks for cheering me up, Mary.

I hope Ted didn't say anything to upset you, Mary.

No, no.

Don't forget.