Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with a smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all

seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can have the town, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

I can't

believe

it. How can they cancel Sue Ann's show just like that?

Ratings, Mary. Not enough people are watching a show.

Well, it still isn't fair.

Right. There are much worse things on the air.

Bye, guys.

I rest my case.

Did you hear about Sue Ann being canceled?

Yeah, Ted, we heard.

But she'll get something else. The rough thing is that we won't be seeing that

much of her anymore.

Lou, we've got to do something to boost up my ratings, otherwise I'm going to be

next. Please, Ted, you're making my heart race.

I'm serious, Lou.

I'm going to zap up my show, and I've got just the thing.

Every night near the end of the news, I'll make a telephone call to a

world leader, and I'll talk to him about the complex political, economic, and

social problems that confront our planet.

Like one night I'll call Edie Amin in Africa, and I'll say, what's happening

your part of the world, Edie? And she'll tell me.

I got it, I got it. You want to sleep on it. Okay.

Hi, everyone.

Oh, hi, Sue Ann.

Well, I suppose you've all heard the news. Yeah, Sue Ann, and I'm sorry. I

really am. Yeah, me too.

Tough break, Sue Ann. You have no idea how upset we all are.

Hi, Sue Ann. Here you got canned.

Not exactly. I have decided I'm going to work out my contract.

So even if I won't be doing my own show, I'll still be working here at WJM. Oh,

Sue Ann, that's wonderful.

Did you hear that, Mr. Grant? Sue Ann won't be leaving WJM after all.

Oh, boy.

That's great.

That's great, Sue Ann.

Really great.

Program manager will try to get me to... I quit by making my life miserable

around here, but I'm determined not to buckle. Good for you. You just stick to

your guns.

Thank you, Mary.

I'll show them.

Sue Ann Nivens doesn't give in without a fight.

That's not what the cab drivers tell me.

Oh, dear sweet Murray.

Oh, I'm so glad I'm not leaving WJM.

You have no idea how I'd miss you.

I'd probably cry every time I looked at a melon.

Lou. Come in.

I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciated your concern.

Huh? Oh, yeah. Well, you're welcome. And I wanted to tell you, Sue, and I think

you're taking this whole thing very well.

Why not?

I've just made up my mind I'm going to be very strong, very brave.

Oh, Lou.

I don't want to live anymore.

Come on, Sue Ann. It's not that bad.

Lou, that show was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Well, second best.

Lou, what's going to become of me?

Oh, Sue Ann. Come on. Sue Ann, don't worry. Everything's going to be all

Oh, Lou, you're so good. So strong.

Such nice, chubby little fingers.

You're like ten tiny sausages.

Come on, Sue Ann.

It's a place of business.

Will you do me a favor, Lou, please?

Does that have anything to do with my fingers?

I want a job in the newsroom.

You what? Any kind of job. I don't care what. Please don't turn me down, Lou. I

never turn you down.

Hey, Sue, I can't give you a job in the newsroom.

You don't like me.

I knew it would come to this.

I let you take advantage of me.

I have nothing but contempt. I knew this would happen.

Come on, Sue Ann, that's not true.

I'd love to see you working here.

Imagine spending eight hours a day with you.

Day in, day out.

Unfortunately, I can't hire you.

Shucks, what a shame.

Why can't you?

What? Oh, uh, uh, it's, uh, it's because, uh, Mary, it's up to Mary, you

Mary is the producer, and she makes all those decisions.

So it's out of my chubby little hands.

Would you ask her for me?

You want me to ask her? Oh, please, please, no.

I'm desperate.

I'm, I've no place to turn. I'm weak and helpless.

I'm lost in my own sorrow.

Oh, okay, okay, I'll ask.

Well... Hi.

Hi. Are you busy?

No, no. Come on in. Would you like a drink?

Yeah, thanks.

Mary, I came over here because I made a pretty important decision.

And I wanted to tell you about it. Oh?

Yeah.

I've decided to give you a lot more authority in the newspaper.

It's really, that's exciting.

What made you suddenly decide that?

Well, I was sitting in a bar just now having a beer.

I held up my glass and I looked at it.

You know what I saw?

A reflection of my face.

But I looked like an old man, Mary. It was my face, but I had all white hair.

You had white hair?

From the beer foam.

It made me realize something.

I'm not getting any younger.

And that's when I decided that now was the time to start delegating more of my

authority.

So, from now on, little Mary Richards is going to be

making some very big decisions.

Well, Mr. Grant, gee, that's... I don't know what to say. It's really nice that

you have that kind of confidence in me.

From now on...

You're going to be totally in charge of hiring people.

And you want to hire somebody, you don't have to check with me. It'll be your

decision. Wow.

And if you don't want to hire someone, that'll be your decision, too.

Do you think you can handle that, Mary? Oh, Mr. Grant, I know I can.

Good. Sue Ann wants a job in the newsroom.

Aw, gee.

She'll do anything. I said it's up to you.

So that's what this is all about.

Hmm? giving me more responsibility.

It has nothing to do with seeing your face in a beer glass.

You just don't have the nerve to say no to Sue Ann.

Mary, how can I turn her down?

She feels I owe it to her because of, you know.

Can I come in? Yes.

Mary, I couldn't wait till tomorrow, so I thought I'd drop by tonight and find

out what you decided.

Let me just say this, dear.

Now, I know you and I have not been the best of friends.

Well, there have been times when we've had our differences.

But, Mary, if you hire me, I'll do a wonderful job for you, and I'll be

forever, I swear it.

I'm sorry, Sue Ann. I... I can't. I hate to say no, but I have to think about

what's right for the newsroom.

I hope you understand.

Mary's decision.

All right, Mary. Listen, I understand.

Don't feel guilty.

No hard feelings.

Goodbye, Lou. Thanks for trying.

All right.

Look at me.

How could you do that to me?

I feel like such a rat.

That was a lousy thing to do, Mr. Grant.

You're right, Mary.

I just didn't know any other way to get out of it because of... Yes, I know, I

know.

Listen, I'm really, really sorry.

It was really rotten of me putting you on the spot like that. And I promise

I'll never do anything like that again.

Would you forgive me?

No.

Look, what would it take for you to forgive me?

You tell Sue Ann you lied, you tell her it was your idea, you tell her you're

sorry, you tell me you're sorry, and you promise me you will never put me in a

position like that again.

All right, hell with it.

Okay, get ready.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Be sure to stay tuned to WJM for another hilarious episode of My Mother the Car.

The fun begins when Mom gets a lube job.

That was wonderful, sweetheart.

I never thought I'd say this to a man.

But get your hand off my knee.

Hi, Sue Ann.

I thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing.

Hello, Mary.

I'm doing fine.

Just fine.

So this is where they have you working.

This is where they have me working.

Cozy.

It is that.

Of course, it gets a little cramped for a woman with a bosom.

Mary, I'm really glad you're here.

I mean, listen, if you've been feeling bad about not giving me a job in the

newsroom, don't. As you can see, I'm doing very well.

And, of course, working from 4 to midnight kind of interferes with my love

But then again, so did working 9 to 5.

Sue Ann, I feel just rotten about this. Mary, why in the world should you feel

rotten? After all, I have you to thank for putting me here.

Sue Ann, I had no idea. I didn't realize that they... Oh, now, not another word.

You sit right down here.

I want you to see exactly how it is.

Well, no, thanks, Sue Ann. That's all right.

You won't even do that for me?

Well, sure.

Mary,

say hi to Sam, our engineer.

Hello.

Oh, Mary, don't mind Sam.

It's just his way of saying...

When he gets to glad to see you, you have to worry.

You want to wet your whistle?

No, no, thank you. I prefer my whistle dry.

Okay.

Isn't that a beautiful aroma, Mary?

It's like living in Fidel Castro's mouth.

Of course, Sam isn't on duty every day. Sometimes I get to work with Tiny.

He weighs 480 pounds, but he carries it well.

And fortunately, he doesn't smoke cigars.

Well, that's good.

He chews tobacco.

Yeah, be careful on your way out. Don't step in the spittoon.

Oh, I wondered what that was.

Mary?

I've just seen what they've got Sue Ann doing, and it made me shudder. Go ahead,

Mary. I've changed my mind. Go ahead and hire Sue Ann.

No.

Okay, then. I'll take the responsibility.

I'll hire her.

Just hold it, buster.

Was that Mary? It wasn't me, Lou.

You can't use me like this, Mr. Grant. You gave me a responsibility, and I took

it. It wasn't easy for me, but I made the decision. And I am not going to hire

Sue Ann just because everyone feels sorry for her. Mary, what are you doing?

We're not allowed to stand up to Lou.

I'll tell you what.

You come with me now. You watch where they've got Sue Ann.

Then if you don't want to give her a job, you don't give her a job. All

fine.

Murray? Hmm?

If that were me... I mean, if I were fired, what do you think Lou and Mary

be doing right now?

Throwing confetti.

Dancing in the streets, turning cartwheels, drinking champagne.

Right. Anything to cover up their pain.

Okay, three minutes to rehearsal.

Can I help you?

Yeah, we're looking for Sue Ann Nivens.

Oh, she's Aunt Daisy today.

Aunt Daisy, some people are here to see you.

You look, go on, say it. I look preposterous. No, no, no, no. You look

fresh as a daisy.

Yeah, yeah.

Nice hat.

That people are patronizing me with compliments like that. Sue Ann, you're

on television.

It's not that bad.

Maybe you're right, Mary.

Okay, Sue Ann, we're ready to start.

shot. I thought you said you worked on television before.

You don't know enough to stand on your mark. I told them I didn't want her on

this show.

Well, we'll just have to live with it. If you're going to criticize me, why

can't you just come out here and at least have the courtesy to speak in your

natural voice?

Because, honey, some of us are professionals, and when we get into

stay in character, okay?

Well, how are my favorite fluffy little cottontails talking?

and Mucky.

Not so good.

They're friends of mine.

Mary, Lou, this is Hucky and Mucky. Hucky and Mucky, this is Mary and Louie.

Lou. Listen,

if you don't mind, we're not here to run a social hour. We're here to work. Sue

Ann, let's see if we can get through this without your screwing up. Hey,

You don't have to talk that way to this woman.

Sue Ann, will you tell your fat friend to get lost?

You want to come out here and say that?

What's the matter? You're too fat to come in here?

When

you

look at what you're doing...

I lost my head.

Mary, I think you better take me back to the newsroom.

Yeah, right.

Bye, C. Ann.

Oh, I wish you were taking me with you.

Yeah, well... I'm really sorry, Sue.

Can I take it?

I can't take any more.

Today was the final humiliation.

I was ordered off the set by two rabbits.

I just quit.

He's beaten me. I didn't even get my three months' pay.

Sue Ann, I feel just terrible about what you've been going through. I really do.

I wish I could help you, but I still feel the decision I made was right.

Please don't ask me to change my mind.

All right, Mary. I won't ask you to change your mind.

Lou, ask her to change her mind.

You bet I will.

Mary, where's your compassion?

Take a look at this woman.

Have you ever seen anyone so pitiful?

Mr. Grant, you want me to hire her out of...

Of course not.

It's okay by me.

Mary, this woman has seen more than just a few summers.

Not many.

Okay, so she's not perfect.

So she's a pain in the rump, a gossip.

Throws herself in every pair of pants she sees.

Maybe I better just send in a resume.

Look at this woman. In 20 years, this could be you.

Decisions that are tough and unpleasant and... Sue Ann, you start on Monday.

We'll give you a job.

Oh, Mary.

Mary, I'm very grateful.

Thank you for saving my job.

I won't let you down. Thank you.

That was a nice thing you did.

That was a terrible thing I did.

I hired someone for all the wrong reasons.

Not on the basis of merit or qualifications, but simply because I

her.

Come on, Mary, that's not such a terrible reason. What's wrong with that?

What's wrong with that?

Mr. Grant, there are people who went to journalism school who worked long, hard

hours to get a chance at a job in this newsroom.

And they deserved it.

And now they won't get that chance because I weakened, because I felt

Because I had pity for someone.

Well, it's not the first time it's happened.

Well, a good news executive wouldn't have done that.

I did.

When?

Seven years ago, a young girl walked into my office.

And even though she had never been in a newsroom before, she had the audacity.

To sputter out a request for a job as an associate producer.

You know who I'm talking about?

I didn't have very many qualifications, did I?

You had zilch.

Can I ever tell you the reason why I hired you?

A little run.

A tiny little run in your stocking on your knee.

And you kept trying to cover it up.

A little run.

And you noticed that?

It's hard not to notice something with two hands, a pocketbook, and a leg over

it.

I thought to myself, what kind of a girl is this who is so afraid of a thing

like that?

You think that was a bad reason to hire you?

It was kind of sweet.

is damn sweet.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

There are plenty of times in life when you do the competent, responsible thing.

But every once in a while, we need to be damn sweet.

If we're lucky, we'll never have to regret it.

Mr. Grant, have you ever, um, regretted it on hiring me?

I've done a pretty good job, haven't I?

Pretty good?

You kidding?

You've done a whale of a job. You've been just great.

Until you went and hired Sue Ann.