Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after

That's your mail, Murr. Oh, thanks, Ted.

What's the occasion? You never bring in the mail. Well, I'll just pass in the

mail room. I thought I'd save the mail boy a trip.

Who knows, someday maybe he'll do something nice for me.

Can I get you some coffee, Murr? No, I can save you the trouble, Ted. I don't

ever intend to do something nice for you.

That's because you didn't read the book that Georgette got me. It's called Turn

the Other Cheek.

Oh, sounds like the history of inoculations.

This book says I carry the best weapon in the world inside here.

Well, it's certainly the best concealed.

I'm caught. That's all I need. If I think kindly of others, they can't hurt

Hey, go ahead, try it. Insult me some more. Not only will I turn the other

cheek, but I'll think of something wonderful to say in response.

Ted, please, don't do this to me. All right, I'll get the ball rolling. Ted is

so dumb that... Ted, you're taking all the fun out of this.

It's okay, really.

Give me your best shot.

Believe me, I don't know the meaning of the word offended.

You don't know the meaning of the word duck.

A clever jive by a witty man.

Let me get you some coffee. Oh, this is going to be the longest day of my life.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hey, Murr, guess what? I just got a letter from my Aunt Flo and she's coming

Minneapolis. A pleasant surprise for a wonderful person.

Who's your Aunt Flo?

Flo Meredith, Murr, I told you. But the columnist? Yeah. Oh, no, you never told

me she was related to you. I sure did. You just didn't listen.

An honest oversight by a decent guy.

Oh, my gosh.

Flo Meredith must be the best -known newspaper woman in America. What's she

coming here for? She's covering the Walker trial. Oh, that's right. All the

papers are covering that. How often does a prominent millionaire go around

butchering three people with a cleaver?

Still, I'm sure he has many delightful qualities.

And Flo has always been my idol. She leads the most fantastic life. She goes

everywhere, gets exclusive interviews with the biggest celebrities.

Hey, maybe while she's here she can interview me.

Sure. Why write about a butcher when you can go straight to the baloney?

Selling thrust by a droll chap.

Hey, Lou.

Did you know that Flo Meredith is Mary's aunt?

Your aunt? Well, no, she's not really my aunt. She's my mother's cousin, a

distant cousin. I haven't seen her since I was 11. She's one of the best

newspaper women in the country.

Although we've always been very close.

I guess journalistic talent must run in the family.

Oh, come on. No, I would never put myself in the same class as Flo

Why? You do the same job she does, keeping the people informed, and you do

without a lot of glamour, publicity, and expense accounts. No. Wise words.

And well -learned. From a man who knows whereof he speaks.

Besides, Flo Meredith doesn't have to put up with a pompous, overpaid, under

-talented anchorman.

Personally, Ted, I think the last part was pretty well -earned.

In your hat, skinhead.

pajamas. I haven't seen anybody wearing pajamas since Hubert Humphrey.

Don't get me wrong, Mrs. Humphrey was always present.

As a matter of fact, I had a note from Muriel just the other day.

She wanted the name of a little restaurant in Marrakesh. Baby, you look

fantastic.

Thank you. So do you.

Oh, gee, it's so great to have you here.

Uh, can I get you a drink?

Well, I wouldn't slug you in the mouth if you did.

Okay. You know, I wasn't...

I was expecting you until tomorrow.

Well, I thought I'd fly in tonight and kind of get a jump on things. Scotch

be fine on the rocks.

Easy on the rocks.

Anyway, it gives us a chance to talk. How have you been? Oh, just fine. Oh,

certainly look in the pink.

I hear you're a producer now.

Well, yeah.

It's just a little station, you know. Oh, well, kiddo, you've got to learn

someplace. Listen, tell me, what do you think about this murderer?

Oh, well, why did he chop all his victims into little pieces?

Was he cuckoo or just over -organized?

Well, I think, you know, it's pretty obvious that in order for him to have

something like that, you know, it'd have to be... Deranged, bonkers, wigged out,

fruitcake city.

Mentally ill.

That's it.

Well... I think I better talk to some news people.

Sometimes I've found that a good local reporter has a lead that everybody else

has missed.

You wouldn't happen to know anybody, would you?

What do you mean I wouldn't happen to know anybody?

Well, somebody who knows what's going on.

Well, and Flo, I am the producer of the 6 o 'clock news. I mean, who would know

any more?

Well, I don't know. I guess I was just thinking one of the old pros.

Okay, what's wrong with one of the young pros?

I mean...

This is my city. I know what's going on. I know people.

Baby, I never said you didn't.

Oh, listen, if I sounded that way, I'm sorry. I apologize on it. Well, no, no,

no. You don't have to apologize. Really, you don't.

Shall I freshen that for you?

Who's the defense attorney on the case?

Well,

that information is over at the station.

Oh, who's on the night desk?

Well, actually, we don't have a night desk.

Well, who's the editor of the evening paper?

Well, I never read the evening paper.

I read the morning paper, though. You know, straight through.

Well, what's the number for Associated Press?

Okay, okay, okay. The Associated Press.

That's, uh, when it's, uh, 5 -5 -3 -4.

Let me know that that's UPI. Um, it's, uh... Okay, well, I'll, you know, I'll

just look it up. I know the number. I know it. I'll just look it up. Mary,

wait a minute. That's all right. Never mind.

Let me ask you another question. Okay.

How's the family?

Fine. Fine.

She's incredible.

She's the most dynamic person I've ever met.

Do you ever feel that way about someone?

Do you ever say to yourself, boy, he's doing exactly what I'd like to do, only

he does more of it in a week than I do in a year? Yeah.

Warren Beatty.

Good morning. Oh. Hi. Mr. Grant. We're going to have a visitor this morning. My

Aunt Flo is going to stop by the newsroom.

No kidding?

Yeah. Boy, I was hoping I'd meet her. That's really great.

You two are really going to hit it off, too. You're both news people. I can't

wait to introduce you. Yeah, I only wish I was working on more exciting copy

than this.

Window makers irked by putty prices.

Hi, Mary.

Oh, Aunt Flo, hi.

Come on in.

Oh, Flo Meredith, I'd like you to meet our...

Chief writer, Murray Slaughter. Murray. And this is our executive producer, Lou

Grant.

Hi, fellas.

Pleased to meet you, Miss Mary. You have quite a reputation.

Oh, Mary seems to think you're pretty hot stuff, too.

I do my best.

Well, hey.

This is a cute little place you got here.

Not really.

Not all that little.

Not all that cute.

Sorry, no offense.

Mary, you got a cute little boss here.

Flo Meredith?

Well, what a thrill.

I'm Ted Baxter, the anchorman.

Hi.

I suppose Mary's told you all about me.

Yes, she has.

Well, now you can hear it from the horse's mouth.

Well, that's almost the way she described you.

This is wonderful.

It's so great meeting important people.

You must be very excited.

So, Murray, you're the writer, huh? You must be having a field day with this

Walker tribe. Oh, yeah, but I was just finishing working on a fast -breaking

story first on the putty situation.

Mary, it's your newsroom.

But, honey, if I were you, I'd drop everything and concentrate on this

trial. You'd never have a bigger story.

Well, I'm sure that Mary feels from a television standpoint that the trial's

gone for weeks.

Some of these other items will be old news tomorrow.

Well, yeah, that's really what I... It's none of my business, but from a

newspaper standpoint, she's dead wrong.

Murder sells.

It's a fact of journalism.

On the other hand, it's hard to argue with that. I know a little bit about

journalism myself.

Watch your scandal sheet scribbling.

but good old hard -nosed her 40.

My scribbling has won 16 journalism awards.

How many has your nose won?

How many has my nose won? Can I say something here?

I've never done anything like this, but I think we all know what's happening. I

mean, you two should really like each other, but somehow things have just

off to a bad start, you know, and I think we should be sensible enough to

that. You know, so that it doesn't get in the way of what could be a terrific

relationship.

Oh, all right, all right. I admit it. She was starting to get on my nerves.

Okay, now, Aunt Flo, you too. Come on, just out.

All right, baby, if it's going to make you feel any better, I was beginning to

think that he was a pompous, straight -laced blowhard.

There, you see? Now that it's all... We can just forget the last few minutes

ever took place and start fresh.

How do you do, Miss Meredith?

I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Grant.

It's a cute little place you got here.

Hey, you know, your aunt is really terrific.

Isn't she, though?

Gee, I just wish Mr. Grant thought so.

Well, I'm not going to give up. She's going to come to dinner tomorrow night

see if I can get him to come, too.

Hey, you know something, Mary?

You should have been a matchmaker at Madison Square Garden.

Mr.

Grant. What is it, Mary?

I'd like to ask you a favor.

Sure. What?

Well, it's a personal favor.

Yeah, what is it?

Listen, you want you to understand that it's not your ordinary favor. It's

something that I'm asking you on the...

basis of our friendship. It's a very personal favor.

I understand.

But before you ask me your personal favor, I think that there's something

should understand.

Sure.

If you ask me a personal favor and I do it, I could turn around tomorrow

and ask you a personal favor and you'd be obligated to me.

I understand.

Yeah. But I don't think you understand the kind of personal favor a guy like me

could ask.

For instance, I'm part of a weekly poker game with four other guys. Every fifth

week, the game is at my place.

It was fine when I was married.

But now I've got nobody to make the sandwiches, serve the beer, empty

the ashtrays, spray the stale air out of the room.

I... might ask you to come over one week as a personal favor.

I could do that.

Or, some weekends, I've been known to have one too many. You

might get a phone call, say, at four o 'clock in the morning from any bar in a

radius of 30 miles.

And you'd have to come over.

Get me in the car somehow.

Drive me home.

I don't drive when I've been drinking.

Commendable.

Get me up to my apartment, which is three flights up.

Clean me up.

And dump me in bed as a personal favor.

I could do that.

Or... I've got this friend.

Iggy Wochuk.

Saved my life once in the army.

And he comes to town once, twice a year.

And he always asks me the same thing. Can I get him a date?

But he doesn't phrase it that way.

Are you sure you want to ask me this personal favor?

How often did you say Iggy comes to my house?

Okay, what's your favor? Okay.

My Aunt Flo is coming to my house for dinner tomorrow night, and I want you to

come, too.

All right.

As a personal favor to you, I accept your invitation to come to dinner. Thank

you, Mr. Grant. And now...

It's time for me to ask you a personal favor.

Mr. Grant, what is it?

Cancel the dinner.

All right, all right. Good.

Hey, wait, wait, wait.

I want you to remember one thing, though.

When you go out with Iggy Wojcik, stay away from

candlelit restaurants. Fire makes him crazy.

He took criticism well. I like that. You could look him smack in the eye and

say, Sir Winston, your painting stinks.

Did you ever meet him?

No, I never met Churchill. No. I thought maybe during the war.

No. We must have just missed each other.

Lou, hit me again, will you? I feel like celebrating tonight.

What are you celebrating?

The Walker trial.

This afternoon, I filed an exclusive interview with the accused.

You're kidding.

How did you get in to see him? Well, I can't reveal the details, kiddo. Let's

just say it was a combination of arm -twisting, bribery, and deceit.

All the tools that we reporters employ to safeguard democracy.

Congratulations.

Thanks, Lou. I'm sure you've done the same.

Oh, no, no.

I never interviewed a murderer.

Highest I ever got was burglary.

With aggravated assault.

Wait, what about the water commissioner in Chicago? Tell him that.

This is... Go ahead, tell him.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good story.

There was this crooked commissioner.

Joe Funderburg?

Yeah.

How did you know?

I sent his boss to prison.

I almost got killed collecting the evidence. I had to crawl.

a half a mile through a sewer pipe to escape.

Oh, but it wasn't worth it. He was a tough cookie, wasn't he, Lou? Yeah,

it sure was.

I interrupted you. What was your story?

No story.

Oh, come on.

No story. Dull story.

Oh, come on, Mr. Grant.

No story.

Mr. Grant was with the Detroit Free Press.

That was a great paper, wasn't it, Mr. Grant? Great paper.

Oh, you don't have to tell me. I turned down a chance to be their managing

editor.

I've always wondered if I made the right choice.

Managing editor?

Yeah, so believe me, I know it's a great paper.

Fair paper.

But in this business, you have to move right along. Life is too short to get

stuck behind a desk.

Come on, let's have a real drink.

Um, I've had enough.

Oh, and you call yourself a newspaper man?

Ah, you guys.

Listen, speaking of drinking, Mr. Grant, tell her about your city editor.

I don't want to. Oh, go on.

had this city editor who used to wear a tag around his neck and it said, it

said, if I'm found unconscious, don't notify anybody I'm a lush.

Oh, kiddo, that's an old, old story. I've never been on a newspaper in my

where somebody didn't claim to have seen that tag.

Listen, kiddo, I don't claim I saw

that tag. I said I saw it.

And if I said I saw it, I saw it, see?

Listen, I believe you. If you say that you saw that tag, you saw that tag.

Don't say you believe me if you really don't believe me.

I believe you.

Good. Because I never saw that tag. And you call

yourself a newswoman?

Good night, Mary.

Thanks for another wonderful party.

How could you do that?

Do what?

You kept topping him on everything he said.

Oh, Mary, look.

Grant is a big boy. He can take care of himself.

Harry Truman once said to me, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the

kitchen. Harry Truman said that to you?

Well, actually, he said it to his chef, but I was standing right behind him.

I can't believe you're this upset about last night.

I know how anxious you were for things to be okay between your aunt and me, but

is that any reason for you to be hanging out alone in a bar at this time of day?

Huh? Is that any reason, Mary? Give me a reason. Give me a good reason, Mary,

why you should be sitting here like this at this time of day.

I'm meeting my Aunt Flo for lunch.

Mr. Dan, I'm really sorry about what happened last night. I mean, the way my

aunt treated you.

That's one of the reasons I'm having lunch with her today. I'm going to try

straighten her out. It's all straightened out. I called your aunt

apologized to her.

You apologized to her?

How could you change your mind like that after the way she treated you?

Oh, Mary, she's okay. You just have to understand her.

We had a woman like that on the paper in Chicago.

One woman among 24 guys.

She was the best reporter there.

So naturally, the others gave her the works.

Dirty tricks, hostility, insults.

One rotten bum even took her typewriter apart at night and left all the pieces

on her desk.

Didn't bother her.

She just picked out the roller and hit the dirty bum over the head with it.

Well, I don't... Mr. Grant, what does this have to do with my Aunt Flo?

You see, Mary, when your aunt started out, she was a pioneer.

All working women were.

Pioneers have to be tough. They don't win popularity contests.

People like Flo Meredith broke the ground.

For people like Mary Richards.

You see what I mean?

Boy, you know something?

Sometimes you really surprise me.

I mean, you're not what I'd ever call a liberated man, but sometimes, Mr. Grant,

wow.

Yeah, well.

Of course, I'm never really sure about your story. I'm not convinced there ever

was a woman on the paper in Chicago.

That some jerk took her typewriter apart or that she batted him over the head

with the roller.

You want to see the scar?

Oh, Mary.

Look, I can't stay till lunch. I have to leave town this afternoon. I wanted to

say thank you for everything.

I'm sorry about the tiff we had.

Oh. Well, listen, Aunt Flo, if you can't fight with your family, who can you

fight with?

Well, I really had a great time last night.

That was a terrific little joint you took me to.

You took her to a little joint?

When I called her up last night, I invited her for a nightcap.

Yes, one nightcap in six different places. And you know something?

You ought to see this little devil tango.

You dance with this little devil?

And only once in three hours did he let the rose drop from his lip.

That was to bite her on the shoulder.

Lou, next time I'm in Minneapolis, maybe we can finish up where we left off.

It's a date.

Bye -bye, baby.

If I was good enough for Churchill.

So, they finally found him guilty, huh? Well, that's hardly a surprise.

Hardly. I'm going to miss reading your aunt's reports on the trial. Where's she

off to now?

I don't know. She said something about a beheading in Iraq.

Oh, gee.

That's a pretty grim assignment.

Oh, well, no, it's... It's not an assignment. It's just something she's

wanted to see.

Well, if she thinks I'm going to wait around to give her an interview, she's

crazy. You hear that, Mary? Yeah, I got it, Ted. Interview you. She's crazy. She

had her chance and she blew it.

I don't need any help to get my name in print.

That's right. He's been printing his name for years.

You know what's wrong with your aunt, Mary?

She's got a big ego.

That's something no one in this business can afford.

Take me.

I mean, I'm good. I'm exceptionally good.

But I don't go around showing.

That's very true, Ted.

You sound feminine, Mary. I have to tell you this. Your aunt is pushy and

arrogant. This goes against nature.

Women should be gentle and refined.

If God had intended him to be pushy and arrogant, he would have made them men.