Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

Where did the asparagus tips go?

Oh, George, why don't you leave that till later? I'll do it. It's okay, Mary.

do it every Saturday. I know where everything goes except asparagus tips.

You never buy those.

Oh, yeah. Well, every couple of years I pick up a can to see if I still hate

them.

That's what I like about you, Mary. You're so fair -minded.

Yay, I got a letter from Phyllis in San Francisco.

I really miss Phyllis. Of course, I never knew her very well.

Maybe that helps.

with both Rhoda and Phyllis gone.

When I used to drop in for a visit, there was always someone here I knew.

If you leave, I may have to stop coming here altogether.

Right.

Oh, boy, good old Phyllis. She says last week she went swimming with a bunch of

seals. She must really miss Lars.

Well, she said she's got a job, she's making new friends, and she's dying to

find out what's new with me.

Wait till she hears about the asparagus tips.

Geez, that's depressing.

I mean, it was bad enough with just Rhoda. Now I've got two friends telling

about their new lives, their new job, new friends.

Here I am.

With old Georgette.

Oh, no, Georgette, I didn't mean that. You and I are on the same boat. We're

both still doing the same things.

I'm not married.

I'm going to school at night.

I'm learning to speak Italian.

Hey, Georgette, that's terrific.

Why Italian?

Because on my vacation, I'm going to Rome.

It's a place I've always wanted to go, ever since I saw a picture of it on a

Jerry Vale album.

Oh, Georgette, that's sensational.

I know.

Ted's furious.

He's afraid I'll come back earthy and voluptuous and full of pinch marks.

Well, I have to go do my homework, Mary.

Arrivederci. Bye.

I didn't say I was in a rut.

I mean, I just said that compared to some of my friends, my life hasn't

that much. But, you know, I never said I was in a rut.

That's what I said, Mary. You're not in a rut.

Yeah, well, if you don't think I'm in a rut and I don't think I'm in a rut, why

are we both standing here discussing whether or not I'm in a rut? I don't

But at least it gave you something different to do for a change.

predictable. Oh, take it easy, Mayor. See, like, I knew you were going to say,

you always say, take it easy, Mayor.

But what do you expect?

I mean, you've been carrying on ever since it came in. You didn't even ask me

how my weekend was.

Don't you think, Murr, I always ask you how your weekend was on Monday?

I know, and it's nice to have someone take an interest.

How was your weekend, Murr?

The usual.

I mean it, Murr. Everything in this newsroom is just the same, day in, day

For example, it's Monday, so Mr. Grant will walk in the door with a terrible

hangover and say he wants to be left alone.

Good morning, Mr. Grant.

I don't want to see anyone.

So big deal. Who wants to see him anyway?

She does.

Morning, people.

Hey, this is getting spooky. Can't you ignore what I tell her? Here he is, Lou,

in his office. Yes, he is, but he doesn't want to be disturbed.

Thank you, dear.

Bye, guys.

Listen, Mary.

If anyone wants you, you'll be in your dressing room with your jet answering

your fan mail.

Mary, you interrupted me. Oh, sorry, Ted.

All right. What I was going to say was exactly what you said. Exactly.

And I, of course, will say there is no fan mail today. You'll say, why not? And

Murray will say some kind of joke like, because your fan died, Ted.

If this is easy, I can do it, too. Georgette will come in and say, good

everybody.

Buongiorno, a tutti.

Everybody,

Lou was so excited about my wonderful news, and I know you all will be, too.

I have just been offered my own fried chicken franchise.

Isn't that glorious?

By the end of next summer, people in 20... 36 cities will be able to look out

their windows and see Sue Ann's big pink bucket in the sky.

Well, there's something new for you.

Oh, come on, Murr. It's happening to her, not to me. Oh, come on, Mary.

Everybody feels in a rut now and then. Listen, why don't you go and talk to

Because that's what I always do. I always talk to Mr. Grant. It's part of

rut. Most of the time, I'm not going to talk to Mr. Grant.

for a minute.

Mary, did you ever feel so rotten that you'd have to rally to die?

No, no, I haven't.

Mr. Grant.

They ought to raise the legal drinking age to 70.

Sir.

Mr. Grant, I'm bored with my job.

You want a raise? Just come out and say it. Oh, no, no, Mr. Grant, it's not the

money. Good, because you're not getting another raise. We can't afford it. No,

the salary is fine, Mr. Grant. It's my life that bores me.

Your life bores you?

Well, I realize that sounds like a dumb thing to say. It's just that I've done

it all before.

I come to the newsroom, I do my job, which is a good job, I realize.

That. I'm not saying that it's not.

You're not getting a raise, Mary.

It's just that maybe I've been a newswoman long enough. You know, maybe

time to try something else.

I'll make a raise you try before.

I'm not, Mr. Grant. I'm just saying that if I left WJM and tried something new,

I might find I really like it. No, I wouldn't like it.

Being in television news is what I've always wanted to do all my life, and I'm

very happy here. I've been talking like an idiot.

Thank you for being so understanding and patient.

All right.

Ten bucks more a week, but that's it.

Morning,

Murray. Oh, morning, Dad.

Hey, Murray, can I ask you a question?

Yeah, go ahead, Ted. Okay, here's the problem.

Let's assume that you've had a long and satisfactory relationship with a member

of the opposite sex.

Suddenly, she decides she has to leave the country.

What would you think?

I don't know, Ted.

Did Georgette get you in trouble?

Come on, Murray, be serious.

I mean, why does she want to go to Rome?

I mean, what has Rome got that's so special?

Lots of things, Ted. For instance, the Colosseum.

Georgette hates sports.

I know why she wants to go to Rome. I've seen those movies.

What kind of movies? La Dolce Vita, that kind of movies.

I know what they do in Rome all day.

Orgies. With whips and midgets.

I don't believe this conversation. Ted, Rome is the eternal city.

Since when?

This is what comes of women's lives.

They're all going crazy these days. You don't know what they're going to do

next.

Really want to get to work.

So, what's new?

Nothing. What were you guys just talking about?

Rome. Oh, well, that's not new.

Old. Very old. Ancient.

About my hair. Come on, you guys.

Blonde, isn't it?

Mary, I'll tell you what I think.

I think it looks absolutely fantastic.

Mary, you never looked better in your whole life.

And you know something else? It proves something very important. It proves

you're not in a rut.

Because nobody in a rut would ever have the guts to dye their hair like you did.

Now, Mary, you mustn't feel depressed.

Everyone feels in a rut from time to time.

Even I do.

And if I can be bored with my life, Lord knows how you must feel about yours.

You know, dear, the first thing we're going to have to do is decorate your

apartment. What do you mean redecorate?

You mean it's been done before?

Well, don't feel bad.

I mean, what can one expect when one rents a furnished apartment?

Sue Ann, all of the furniture here is mine.

I knew that, Mary. I was just trying to give you a graceful way out.

You see, dear, an apartment should express the personality of whoever lives

there. Well, take mine, for example. The minute you walk in, the decor says, Sue

Ann Niven.

Right.

early American.

Poor Mary.

Poor, dear, sweet, adorable Mary.

If it makes you feel better to spew forth your filthy venom, go right ahead.

Hi, Mary.

Well, well, what brings you two here?

We decided to stop by to cheer you up, but I hope you're not too gloomy because

we can only stay a few minutes.

She's going to decorate her apartment, aren't we?

Well, I don't know if I'm going to redecorate. Maybe move a few things

Good idea. We'll all pitch in.

Except me.

I'm not lifting things.

All right, Ted. I could lie to you, Mary, and say I've got a bad back, but I

don't. I just don't feel like lifting things. All right, Ted.

He really does have a bad back, Mary, but he hates to admit it. He thinks it's

more manly to be rude.

Put this couch someplace else.

All right.

Someone want to give me a hand?

I'll guide you.

Bring it around.

Watch it. Don't hurt yourself. Take it easy.

Girls, I have a work tip for you.

Sailors and men on chain gangs often sing when doing heavy work. Did you ever

know anyone on a chain gang?

No, dear.

But I have known my share of sailors.

You mean we broke our backs for nothing?

No, I mean it's not my furniture that needs rearranging. It's my life.

My life is dough.

How do I change that?

You want to change your life, Mary? I'll tell you how to change your life.

I've known you for six years now. I know exactly what's wrong with your life.

You wake up.

You eat breakfast.

You drive to work.

You say hello to your friends.

You work at your job.

You go to lunch. You work some more.

You say goodbye to your friends. You drive home.

You have dinner.

You sit down.

You watch television.

You read a magazine.

And you go to sleep.

Am I right?

If you want to change your life completely, this is what you've got to

starting tomorrow.

Wake up!

Eat your breakfast. Drive to work. Say hello to your friends.

Work at your job. Go to lunch. Work some more.

Say goodbye to your friends.

Drive home.

Have dinner.

Sit down.

Watch television.

Read a magazine. And go to sleep.

not what you do, it's how you do it. No, no, no, Mary, that's not what I said.

What I said was... Morning,

Murray. Oh, hi, Earl.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just trying to find the most interesting item to put on top, so Mary

will have something, you know, exciting to start a day. Murray, we don't run

this newsroom for the purpose of keeping Mary entertained.

We're all professionals here.

We have jobs to do, exciting or dull, and we do them.

We don't have time for games.

What do you think of that?

It's nice.

What does the card say?

It says, Dear Mary, thanks for everything.

From the Hell's Angel.

Did somebody die?

No. We just wanted to brighten up the office a little for Mary. She's been

of depressed lately.

Oh, flowers aren't what Mary needs.

I know what Mary needs.

What?

What Mary needs is a man.

What are you talking about? She goes out with plenty of men.

I'm not talking plenty of men. I'm talking plenty of man.

A different kind of man than Mary has ever known before.

One who would... Bring out the animal in her.

Anybody ever bring out the animal in you, Sue Ann? If they did, it probably

turned out to be a rabbit.

Well, believe me, people, what Mary needs is someone virile, someone

someone totally masculine.

Sorry, I don't lift things.

You know something?

I just figured out why we're having trouble convincing Mary that life in

newsroom isn't boring.

It's because it is boring.

It is?

Yeah. I mean, I'm bored.

What do I do all day?

I go in there and I take the news out of that doohinkey.

And then I rewrite it on this doohinkey.

And then I turn on that doohinkey.

And what should come out of that?

You know, I don't know just how you feel, Murray.

Oh, sure. When I first began as a news announcer, I felt kind of important that

I was telling the people that a war was declared or a town was flooded or a

murder had been committed. But then I realized I was just reporting these

events. I couldn't take credit for them.

I mean, an idiot. could do what I do.

I'm so bored, I'm just going to let that pass.

I know.

I know. Oh, some people think my life is a mad whirl, but let me tell you

something. Doing a cooking show can drive you up the wall.

This week, I'm doing my tribute to the egg.

I've boiled eggs, fried eggs, scrambled eggs.

Eggs Florentine, eggs Diablo. I'm going crazy.

I mean, how many things can you do with an egg?

Especially during the family hour.

Hey, let's face it.

Life is a bore.

You're born, you die, and everything in between is nothing but filler.

hey everybody i've got wonderful news wonderful and exciting news i have

finally made a change in my life i'm moving to a new apartment and it's

fantastic it's got a swimming pool and a tennis court and it's just beautiful

Well, here we are, Miss Richards.

Here's your keys. I hope you're going to like it. Oh, I'm sure I will.

Now, if there's anything you need, I mean, if you're in trouble, don't

to call me.

I'm always around, except Sunday.

That's when I take my wife to visit her mother.

It's usually six or seven o 'clock before we get back from the cemetery.

Her mother's dead.

sort of figured.

I'd appreciate it if you'd try not to call me between two and four in the

afternoon. All right.

That's when I take my nap.

Of course, if it's an emergency, that's different.

Well, what would you consider an emergency?

Remember when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor?

Well,

that was close.

Hi there.

Say, you're new, aren't you? Yes, I am.

My name is Gordon, Jim Gordon. I live two flights up.

The music was playing in the elevator and I didn't have anybody to dance with.

Say, listen, they're opening a brand new restaurant across the street. Why don't

you come and have a little dinner with me? It's a great way to get acquainted.

Look, Mr. Gordon.

Jimbo.

Jimbo.

Don't take this personally, but before I moved in here, I specifically asked if

this was a single place. I didn't want that.

Who's single?

Say, you haven't told me your name.

That's right.

I have an awful lot of unpacking to do, so... You need any help? No.

I don't. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I bet I can guess your name.

It's Marilyn, right?

No.

Maxine? No.

Mavis? No.

Marta? No, if you'll please excuse me.

Molly? Mona?

Mommy? Madeline?

Mommy?

and then taking you out to dinner.

Mary, I love your apartment table.

Let's... I mean... Who cares?

Hey, what a great bathroom. You could sunbathe in the nude out there.

Well, I don't think so, Ted. There's a whole building full of people right

there. So you'll do it at night.

Nice kitchen.

Nice. You got your stove here, your icebox here, and your garbage disposal

there. Gee, I'm disillusioned.

Somehow I never pictured Mary as having garbage.

Mary, you have another room.

Yes, I have my very own bedroom. You don't know how tired I was getting of

opening and closing that convertible sofa.

Now I've got my own bedroom. It's so exciting.

Oh, if you think it's exciting now, wait till you get a bed in there.

Hey, let's have the champagne.

Oh, I hope you brought glasses. My stuff hasn't arrived.

Oh, yeah.

All right, I'll tell you what.

We'll go to dinner.

While we're out, we'll pick up some glasses and have a drink afterwards.

Okay, great.

Look, I tell you, why don't you guys go ahead downstairs? I'll meet you there.

There's just something I want to do alone.

Okay, great apartment,

Mary. Just love it. A great place.

Really. Great. I just love what you've done with it, Mary.

my new place alone for a few minutes.

I understand.

I don't like it.

Boy, that was a great dinner.

And I must say, Georgette, I was really impressed with the way you gave the

entire order to that waiter in Italian.

Yeah. Wong Lee Chin was pretty impressed, too.

You feeling better about the apartment now, Mary? Oh, yeah. Much better. I

it's only natural to...

Move into a new place and feel that way about your old place.

I remember I felt that way about my old place when I moved from my old, old

place. But with all you guys here, it's beginning to feel like home already.

Mid pleasures and palaces.

Wherever you may roam, be it ever so humble.

Here's to Mary's new apartment.