Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it.

Well, come on in.

Sherry. Sherry.

How have you been?

Fine, you?

Fine.

You look terrific.

Thanks, you too.

Thanks. Okay, why don't we cut the crapola?

Good, good, good. I was just going to suggest it.

Mary, I got busted again.

I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, it seems like lately every time I strike up a

conversation with a guy, he turns out to be with a vice squad.

Of course, it's my own fault. I should have been suspicious when I saw that

tattoo of Jack Webb on his arm.

Anyway, I got to thinking about that night that you and I spent in the cell

together.

Remember how you wanted a toothbrush so bad and I got you one?

And you said if there was ever anything that you could do for me, I should be

sure to let you know.

Well, I'm letting you know.

You want your toothbrush back?

All I want you to do is come down to the court with me tomorrow and tell the

judge that you know me.

See, I have to show him I know some upstanding citizens, and you're the only

upstanding citizen I know.

I mean, socially.

Great. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Oh, no, it's all right.

same courthouse, Friday at 11.

Okay. Hey, maybe we could have lunch together afterwards.

No, no, no, forget it, forget it. Let's not have lunch. You probably like to eat

in those places where they cut off all the crust.

You know, I don't understand something.

I do you a favor, and you're giving me all these little shots.

Mary, I'd be enchanted to have lunch with you tomorrow.

In fact, let's make a firm date, shall we? Okay.

Right after my appearance in court.

The only thing that could possibly interfere is if you screw up and they

me back in the slammer.

It's me, Mrs.

Goldman.

Gee, it sounds like some dog.

It's not a dog. It's Mrs. Goldman across the hall.

She barks to scare away burglars.

That's a very good imitation.

She should.

She's had three months of obedience school.

am I supposed to say?

Poor mink coats.

Well, I guess I just feel funny about people wearing dead animals coats.

Yeah, well, if you wear them when they're alive, they claw your neck.

You want a drink?

No, no, thank you.

Listen, Sherry, there's something I think you and I have to talk about.

You know, yesterday you said you just wanted me to come... down to court for

hour. Well, it didn't work out that way. I mean, I had to tell the judge that I

would keep an eye on you and help you find a job. Yeah, don't worry about

Well, I have to worry about it. I mean, I swore that in court.

Boy, did you ever. You had one hand on the Bible, one hand on your heart. You

were looking at the American flag and your voice trembled. You brought tears

the bailiff's eyes.

Does all this mean you are not going to look for a job?

Mary, let me tell you something.

A lot of my friends think they're gonna do something with their lives one day.

Some think that they're gonna open boutiques, write novels, be dentists.

I have a friend, Kim, who thinks she's gonna own a big horse ranch.

But unless she's in Roy Rogers' will, it's not gonna happen.

What does that have to do with looking for a job?

Because I'm a realist. Who's gonna hire me?

My previous experience...

This is not the kind of previous experience you put on a job application.

Cherry, I'm sure we could find you some kind of job.

What about secretarial work?

I can't type.

How about bookkeeping?

I can't add.

Understand? No.

No, I don't, Sherry. Look, you got me into this in the first place. Now, I do

not enjoy being used.

agency, Joe.

We just came back from lunch. We're celebrating this letter I got from the

university yesterday.

I know. Yeah, Harvard wants you to leave your brain to Yale.

Go ahead and laugh.

In a week and a half, you won't be laughing at Ted Baxter. You'll be

Dr. Ted Baxter.

Ted's getting an honorary degree.

Oh.

Watching Ding Dong School has finally paid off.

Ding Dong School, nothing.

It's for a college.

Rutledge College.

They like to get a celebrity to speak at their graduation ceremony, and they

give them a degree to get them to come.

They wanted to give me a master's, but my agent held out for a Ph .D.

Yeah, I've heard of Rutledge. It isn't exactly one of your class universities.

The school mascot is a fungus.

animals were taken.

Anyway, I was thinking maybe if you got a moment, you could, you know, take a

moment to kind of check over my acceptance speech.

Sure.

Okay.

Here goes.

Friend, faculty members, fellow PhD guys.

doctor's degree.

Hi, Mary. Who's your friend?

Oh, I'm sorry. Sherry Ferris. This is Georgette, Murray, and Ted.

Dr. Ted.

Well, I'm going to see Mr. Grant. I'll be right back.

Would you like to hear my acceptance speech?

Friends,

faculty members, fellow... Mr.

Grant? I don't know why anyone puts pimentos in perfectly...

And perfectly good bologna.

Why can't they leave them in olives where they belong?

What do you need, Mary?

Well, Mr. Grant, I have a friend.

Well, no, she's not exactly a friend. She's more of an acquaintance.

Well, you met her. Her name is Sherry Ferris.

When you came to visit me that time in jail, she was in the same cell with me.

She was the... Mary.

Mary. I know why.

I've been around.

Been on the street since I was six years old.

You're afraid to use the word. I'll say the word for you.

She's a lady of the evening.

So I accept this honor.

Today I'm a doctor. God bless America.

Well, guys, what do you think? You wrote that?

Yeah.

Boy, you got a lot of guts to admit it.

Thank you.

I know you love it.

Murr, what'd you think of it?

Thanks anyway, Mr. Grant.

Well, Mr. Grant doesn't know of any jobs, but he's going to keep looking.

I know of a job.

with me at the car rental agency just got fired today what do you think sherry

would have a chance sure if you want i could take you over and introduce you to

the manager only thing is you have to be good at dealing with people have you

had much experience with the public

I thought I'd go over to that German place.

The food's kind of good, and you can still get up some pretty lively

conversations about the war.

So you don't want to come?

No, no, it sounds like a lot of fun, but I promised Sherry I'd have lunch with

her. It's her first day on the job.

Oh.

Okay.

All right.

I know this is none of my business.

But like I said, I don't think it's a good idea for you to get too friendly

that girl.

Mr. Grant.

I'm serious, Mary.

Someone like Sherry can influence your life. You know what I mean?

That's ridiculous.

Look, when I was in college, there was this bar where a lot of girls hung out.

There was this one girl named Louise.

Young, pretty.

I kind of liked her.

Yeah, I... I kind of liked her, and I thought maybe I could change her life.

So one night, after the bar closed, I offered to drive her home.

And after we pulled up to her trailer, I turned to her and I said, Louise,

you're young, you're intelligent.

Take a good look at what you're doing to your life before it's too late.

I spoke to her for a whole hour.

You know what she said?

That'll be 20 bucks.

Mary, that kind of woman doesn't change.

And I just don't want to see your life get messed up because of Sherry. Oh, Mr.

Grant, my life isn't going to get messed up. Oh, I don't know, Mary. You're

different since you met her.

Wait a minute.

How am I different? Just give me one example of how I'm different.

Remember? A year or so ago when we were doing that series of reports on

America's changing sexual attitudes?

Yes. What'd you say?

I don't know. I can't remember something I said a year ago.

I'll tell you what you said.

You said, let's not put it on.

What people don't know won't hurt them.

Not a great motto for a news show, is it?

But that's what you said.

And now?

La Dolce Vita.

Grant, you know, you may be right.

Yeah?

You know what I did the other day?

What?

I went down to the docks.

Yeah?

And I wrote my name and my number in a phone booth.

For a hot time, call Mary. 30 million Frenchmen can't be wrong.

You should have heard this funny thing she said this morning.

These two tricks came in and wanted to...

Now, you wait a minute, Georgette.

Two tricks?

That's what Sherry calls the customers at the club.

I guess I'll just go get some lunch now, Mary.

You ready for lunch?

the girls' room and wash up before we go. The girl they fired at work locked

herself in the bathroom and says she won't come out till they give her her

back and free all the political prisoners.

So, the first day on the job, how's it feel?

Terrific. I'm quitting.

Quitting? On a scale of one to ten, I'd say that job didn't make the scale.

Oh, come on. Sherry, how bad can it be?

Georgette loves her.

George Ed loves licking envelopes.

Hi.

I hadn't seen you in a couple of days, so I just thought I'd stop by and see

you're getting on.

Fine, fine.

Fine.

You managing okay?

Fine, fine.

Well, that's just fine.

What have you been doing?

Primarily this and not so much that, or a lot of that and not so much of this?

Mary, when I said this and that, I didn't mean that.

Oh, come on. I didn't mean that.

I just wondered if you were having any luck finding a job.

Yeah, I've been having a lot of luck.

Really? I didn't get a job.

Look, Mary, I've been through the whines every day. There's nothing here that I

like. There's got to be something you want to do, something you want to be.

Yeah, there is.

I've been seriously thinking of becoming a burden on society.

Outside of that, nothing really interests me. What about dreams?

Didn't you ever dream of being somebody? Everybody has that kind of dream.

Yeah?

What's yours?

Well... I've had my dreams. I just don't like to tell them.

I don't want anyone to laugh at me.

What are your dreams?

I used to dream that I'd like to become a dress designer.

Well, that's wonderful.

Do you ever try it? Yeah, once in high school, I made a dress for a friend. I

fitted it right on her. And did she like it?

I hope so. I forgot to put the zipper in.

As far as I know, she's still in it.

Sherry, why don't you give it a try for just a couple of weeks? I mean, you

might find you have a real flair for this.

take a chance?

Afraid you'll find out you don't have the talent?

Just don't have the guts to try it, is that it?

That's it, Cookie.

You

want

to go out to dinner?

I've been cooped up in my place for a solid week. I figure I deserve a night

out. You've been designing dresses.

No, I came over to show you my dry cleaning.

How'd they turn out?

See for yourself.

It's a little present for you.

I designed it especially for you. I hope it fits.

Oh, Sherry.

I'll go put it on.

Hi. Oh, hi, Sherry.

Where's Mary?

Oh, she's in there getting dressed. Come on in. She'll be right out.

Ted just got his honorary degree.

Want to see my diploma?

It's real sheepskin.

Gee, it must have been murder getting him in the typewriter.

That's funny. Get it, Ted?

Sure I get it. I'm a Ph .D.

It's very nice, Ted. Thanks.

They let me keep the tassel to my cap, too.

I got it hanging in my rearview mirror.

You know, it's always been one of the big regrets in my life to never have a

chance to go to college.

College.

Flirtation walk.

Fraternity handshakes.

Panty raids.

Election of the homecoming queen.

Kissing rock.

Higher education must be a wonderful thing.

You want to see my diploma?

Maybe later, Ted.

Georgette, am I being too critical, or is this dress really awful?

I don't know. It looks so terrible on you, I can't tell.

You look so fantastic in your life.

Ted!

Here,

grab a glass of water.

This may sound insane to you, Mary, but on those occasions when I dream of you,

you're dressed exactly like that.

silly about things like this.

Ted, do you want me to get a dress like that?

I want every woman in the free world to get a dress like that.

Georgia, what am I going to tell Sherry? She really thinks she can be a

designer. Well, I always think honesty is the best policy.

Unless telling the truth hurts someone's feelings.

In which case, I think it's better to lie.

No, I can't lie. I always blush when I lie.

If you don't blush on your legs instead... Nobody will know that.

Mary, would it be easier if Ted and I left when you talked to Sherry? Yes, I

think it would. I hope you don't mind.

No, we don't mind.

Well, I mind. I want to stay.

Ted, we have to leave.

No, we don't.

Ted, I'm only going to tell you this once.

doctor. I used to play the receptionist.

You don't like the dress.

Well, I think I gotta be honest. I just don't think you have the talent to be a

designer. You think it stinks?

No, come on. Now, stinks, that's a pretty strong word.

Lousy? Yeah, lousy.

Sherry, I think I just have to be honest with you here. I...

Don't think you're going to make it as a designer.

You really don't think so?

I really don't.

Gee, what am I going to say to the guy that hired me?

The guy that hired you? Yeah, I took my designs to the stress manufacturer this

afternoon. He loved them. He wants me to start work tomorrow.

That's terrific.

Well, Sherry, I feel so stupid about what I just said.

Oh, no, don't feel stupid.

He didn't like this one either.

He thought green was the wrong color for a bridal gown.

Give me a second. I'll change.

We'll have a celebration dinner.

Leave it on.

If you spill something on the front, you've got a 50 -50 chance it'll miss.